#this place doesnt count because im more talking to the void instead of a specific person

[wall-e-gorl]

behind almost every cool calm normal conversation with me is a version of me slightly panicking and overthinking every word.

[disorderrd]

Hi, can i ask you what a comorbid between szpd and npd might look like? I have szpd and am currently questioning if i also have npd as well so I'd appreciate the help

hey ! im not at all uh…an expert on this, but i cn say how it looks for me?

so with szpd, the most apparent symptoms are gunna b ur lack of desire for close relationships, no interest in personal interactions, stunted emotions, and often a lack of (or subdued ability to have) empathy. overt schizoids dont hide this and often come across completely uninterested when actually engaged, while covert will most likely pretend to be enjoying interactions to avoid conflict, but internally just want to leave the convo (me lol). i personally would be content to live alone in a single room for the rest of my life and do absolutely nothing.

however, when npd comes into the mix (to reiterate, this is my own experience) it combats that apathy to an extent, because i Need attention. I don’t necessarily care about the people im getting it from, but i find myself creating personas within evry single interaction so that nobody will hate me, and i can receive praise for things. its somewhat like being covert but instead of just doing it to get by easier im doing it specifically to be liked and i find myself being extremely generous and overall affable so i will continue to receive that attention, even though im wildly uncomfortable having to interract with people as often as i do. my emotions can often be boiled down to simply “void” but npd has me flying into rages at people who treat me as lesser, because i feel im above that. the lack of empathy is true to both disorders, and i talk about myself a lot, and most prevalent is probably my “manipulativeness’ because im…stupid good at getting people to do what i want

its interesting because once ive secured a relationship n wich i can count on someone for my narc supply, i tend to act More schizoid around them: flatter, apathetic, moody, because i feel mostly safe n th assumption they wont leave, but i often bend that too far and find myself nervously repatching the relationship by twisting my personality around on its head to keep them around, even though deep down i dont really have a strong attatchment to them?

for me, as someone who finds interacting with people draining, but needs interaction to live, the internet really does feed into this. because i have a screen as a buffer, i can deal with people but not Truly deal with them if that makes sense. its become a perfect place to validate myself (notes, asks, follower count, etc) while remaining reclusive irl.

sorry if this doesnt make much sense im pretty out of it right now, but i wanted to answer this before i forgot it. let me kno if u have any other questions, and followers, feel free to help this anon out