#this show is a fucking disaster

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

so how about that update, huh

[psqqa]

yes, yes i know edgeworth’s big wet eyes and loser boy personality have captivated us all, but listen. listen.

phoenix wright

phoenix “genuinely unable to reconcile the girl on the stand with the girl he dated for eight months, a cognitive dissonance so profound it’s ultimately explained by them being literally two different people, but which he first sits with for five years and does not talk about at any point to anyone” wright

phoenix “don’t mention that name to me. i don’t want to talk about it. i don’t want to think about it. i am just going to keep myself in this state of perpetual crisis mode focus on other people’s problems until eventually i die and get to hang out with mia on the astral plane and never have to deal with any of these emotions ever again” wright

phoenix “overnight loses his career and reputation and sense of identity while gaining an adopted, probably pretty traumatized eight-year-old daughter, and rather than leaning on his friends for help, or getting therapy, or taking any time to process any of this, he *checks notes* spends seven years dedicating all his free time and energy to investigating the weird fucking circumstances around it and maintains a friendship with the guy he suspects was behind it all” wright

phoenix "runs across a burning bridge and falls through it, half a day after the game establishes that he is terrified of heights, because his friend is on the other side of that bridge" wright

phoenix “i sure felt surprised. maybe i had my poker face on” wright

phoenix “looking back on it that was actually a pretty dark period in my life” wright

phoenix “don’t ask me how i got started. i don’t remember” wright

phoenix “only you stood still, your eyes calmly watching” wright

phoenix “sometimes, life just sucks” wright

just

phoenix wright

crunchiest man in the world

and all i wanna do is chew and chew and chew on him

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

[warpedpuppeteer]

Buck is such a menace??! People were joking about him not having rizz with men but he gained only a little bit of confidence and already managed to fluster Tommy?? (which hell yeah woo and fluster the hell out of that cutie). I mean, the invite to the wedding (in front of all the people Buck cares about) and then that hand on Tommy's hand?? This smooth motherfucker?? Oh once he's found his footing NOONE is going to stand a chance against him and his charms.

[ria-the-camel]

I love you I will always love you. But the way you're hurting yourself is scary scary. I don't know what to do with it. You're lying to me, you're hiding important, dangerous things from me. Because you don't want to stop. You don't want me to leave you, and I never will, but you're going to leave me. You believe it's the only way for you to be useful. I can't make you change your mind. I'm going to lose you. I love you.

[spearxwind]

-🏮🏮🏮-

[chvoswxtch]

every time I rewatch season three of daredevil i’m reminded what a bitchy little gremlin matty is

and why I relate to him so hard

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

These Clone Wars headcanons take a turn at the end

I feel like the writers really dropped the ball on never showing us Anakin and Ahsoka attending a formal event because I feel like it would be hilarious 

Watching two hardened war heroes try and act like they haven’t seen all the horrors the universe has to offer is the equivalent of watching two possums stacked on top of each other trying to convince someone they’re human

I feel like they would both try to behave for Padme and Obi-Wan’s sake but at the same time they can't help but make fun of each other as they act “normal” while simultaneously hiding the fact that they’re talking shit about anyone and everyone in the room

These two dorks are just standing in a corner praying to anyone that will listen for these stuck-up silver spoon-suckling sleemos to leave them alone but unfortunately for them the rich never care to read the vibe so they’re stuck schmoozing

After being to a couple of formal events the two start to form escape plans to get out of being in boring conversations which include but are not limited to: Ahsoka acting like they’re playing her favorite song so they have to dance, them pretending as Obi-Wan called them over with the force but in actuality they just hide behind him while he acts like an adult, and last but certainly not least Ahsoka faking an allergic reaction 

That last one got them into some trouble cause in their haste they left Obi-Wan and Padme behind to deal with the confused and concerned public and they were less than pleased to find that Anakin abused his padawan’s allergies like this little did they know Ahsoka came up with that plan

I have a guttural feeling that Ahsoka’s been put in air jail sometimes by Rex but it’s mostly Anakin using the force to lift her off the ground because it’s the only thing that calms her down 

It surprised her to find out that he stole the idea from Obi-Wan it was more surprising to find out he wasn’t entirely patient with Anakin during the first couple of years of his apprenticeship but the thing that didn’t surprise her was the fact that Anakin was a feral little brat who bit hard when he was frustrated 

There was one time when the trio were sent on a mission and it wasn’t a pleasant one to say the least which naturally resulted in them being sleep deprived which usually leads to them being very snappy towards each other

One day Anakin and Ahsoka got into a less-than-friendly shoving match which was likely going to escalate into a full-blown fight before Obi-Wan lifted them both and the uncharacteristic abuse of the force caused the duo to laugh their asses off 

Obi-Wan doesn’t like thinking of that moment cause it feels like a petty step back in his growth but the duo silently thinks that moment was hilarious and still laugh about it years later 

Anakin doesn’t always use the force to reprimand Ahsoka sometimes they act like the stupid teenagers they are and use it for reckless fun and by that I mean one day Ahsoka got an idea and begged Anakin to use the force to toss her as high as he could

He denied her request for a while even with her assuring him that if anything went wrong she could just catch herself when that approach wasn’t working she poked at his pride making little comments that he probably couldn’t toss her higher than his head

So with an admittedly bruised ego and still slight hesitation he agreed and the second her feet were back on the ground she begged him to do it again funny enough it became a kind of game/training for the duo

It helped with Anakin’s stamina and Ahsoka’s reaction time cause unfortunately being the chosen one doesn’t make someone perfect and he did drop her a couple of times but it didn’t matter much cause she caught herself

As the duo got older they started taking turns launching each other like a weird force see-saw but one day the jig was up cause the twins caught them doing this weird little game and demanded a turn

They agreed but the twins never got past the duo’s waste which didn’t matter cause Padme scolded them anyway and the two promised to never do it again with the twins around 

Anakin and Ahsoka are both deeply sentimental people I know this in my soul which results in their shared quarters being cluttered with a whole bunch of stuff 

Anakin’s stuff makes more sense cause it’s basically gifts from Padme and Obi-Wan or random projects that never worked out but he could never justify throwing away

Ahsoka on the other hand is an absolute goblin and will hoard anything and everything that feels special like 3D glasses from the singular time she and Anakin could see a holo in theaters, or a random rock from Naboo, a ribbon from a dress Padme gave her that she outgrew, and a thank you note from the kids on Mandalor 

You know the things that most people would describe as useless or junk but she keeps them scattered all over their quarters nonetheless well she did before someone got wind that she was doing this and advised her against it cause it’s against the Jedi code

She agreed with them so she stuffed all of it in a box and right before she could toss it they were sent on a mission and when she got back she didn’t have the energy to get rid of it so she just shoved it to the back of her closet 

And then she started collecting trinkets again and stored them all in the box that she lovingly refers to as the “box o’ shit” in her mind until one day the box literally wouldn’t close with all the stuff stored inside

And out of the blue the guilt she first felt when she was reprimanded came flooding back tenfold and she made a vow to toss it out the next day but every time she tried it just ended with tears in her eyes

Until one day she came home from a truly terrible solo mission to find a chest in the middle of her room and when she asked Anakin about it all he said was “Oh it’s for your stuff I figured you’d need a new one by now”

She needed no clarification of what stuff he was talking about and she didn’t know how to ask him politely how he knew she ignored sage advice while she knew she should feel embarrassed for being so obvious or guilty all she felt was loved 

So she squeezed the ever-loving force out of the one person who just got her and smiled as he squeezed her back just as tight without commenting on the twin puddles on the front of his robes 

[rileys-battlecats]

I know people talk about how bad tumblr's search function is but like. I can literally type a tag I know for certain I have into the search bar of my blog and it's like 'sorry lol you're crazy that's not something you've ever written <3' and then I look through a separate tag, dig through posts chronologically, and there it is. with the tag I put on it. specifically so that I could find it again easily. why

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

some Sharpie Sillies i scribbled to cope with the compulsory heterosexuality i was just forced to watch. it was painful

[pand1on]

why did they put iblis in the scu before amy. i'm gonna become the joker

[crismakesstuff]

ok i know I’m probably like 1 of 5 people that still ship nolan and debbie together after (gestures around) everything that happened

but I vote that their ship name be deblan who’s with me

[lamentablesbian]

it’s about this boy this adaptation that takes a predator and makes him back into a boy he’s just a boy and he wants to keep children safe from the horrors of the world before, keep them safe in the way he never was, create a shelter for them not in isolation but in family. he tells them a bed time story like some kind of pied piper, he leads them away into a fantasy so that the future–past they’re all hurtling towards can be staved off just a little longer. the last thing he downloaded before the satellite went dead was the wikipedia entry on capitalism— he asks if he should just delete it. he spends every waking moment after trying to keep it from happening again. “there is no before.”

it’s about this girl this girl who has never had the chance to say goodbye who holds people so close that sometimes they end up passing through her altogether and she knows the boy’s story, it’s his bedtime story— but it’s her guiding light. she remembers damage too, the damage and horror of the world before, but instead of falling into a fantasy she makes herself a horror, makes herself untouchable. because if she couldn’t pretend the world was something better then at least she could protect herself from the worst this new world has to offer. knives tucked into hair, boots, belts, sharpened lovingly and methodically. she picked up her first knife out of the pool of her brother’s blood, wiped it clean. spends hours throwing it end over end into the wall of the cabin— she never misses. “to the monsters, we’re the monsters.”

it’s about their parallel lives, their ever-narrowing orbit around one another their inevitable collision. it’s about a knife drawn like a breath and pressed tight under his jaw. it’s about his gasped words in response to the sudden blade. were they a threat? a promise? did it matter? because, really, it’s about the knife he didn’t see coming— fast, short, sharp as anything, and deep in his guts. “Kirsten, why are you helping me?” “stabbing you didn’t work.”

[tomatette]

Alice & Jack

[queer-ragnelle]

You should have to pass a test about a book before you’re allowed to adapt it. I’m so sick of lazy, poorly written adaptations when you had a blueprint right there. Don’t @ me I know you have to make changes for the screen. Camelot (1967) is a masterpiece. Merlin of The Crystal Cave (1991) is delightful. The Winter King (2023) is an affront to book fans intelligence.

[katyobsesses]

Rewatching 2x01 and it is so much more queer with hindsight... which is a hard thing to do as it was already so queer