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#this took me the WHOLE DAY and yet I hate it
chuluoyi · 3 days
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✎ mission: baby steps !
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- gojo satoru x reader
the three times gojo tried to make his baby love him (and how he miserably fails)
genre: full crack, dad!gojo being a sore loser, your baby being mean (he only wants peace, really), and obviously, fluff !!
note: a little thing for father's day ehe <3 i know i said i'll work on smut in the polls next but uhhh, this comes first ok?! :') i just love the idea of gojo vs baby don't mind me *sobs* and all the scenario here come from the tiktok/reels you've sent me!
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
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There are many things that come with being a jujutsu sorcerer, and when you are Gojo Satoru, those things seem to be multiplying like bunnies.
This essentially means less time with his wife and baby. Look, he could finish missions fast, but when sent to other cities, even he couldn't abuse his teleportation powers all the time to return to Tokyo.
And so, as much as he hated it, he couldn't fault his baby boy for forgetting him.
"Look, it's papa," you rocked your son with a smile, consoling him as he wailed right after Satoru held him. "Don't cry, don't cry! Papa just got back from a long mission, he's not scary!"
"Is he scared of me?" Ouch. The thought prickled him. It somehow felt sourer than seeing Principal Gakuganji's face.
You hummed, seemingly (or comically?) deep in thought. "Hmm, in baby's point of view: a big, bad man suddenly picks him up, of course he's scared."
"I'm not a bad man!"
Okay, he wasn't having this. Satoru adored his baby to bits and he would want him to at least know it. It's settled then—he would be taking paid leave just to spend some time with his baby.
This would be his mission for the next three days!
DAY ONE
The day started off great. Baby Gojo was relatively calm, a bit fussy here and there but Satoru could definitely handle him.
"Look, a plane is coming!" he said playfully, moving the spoon in the air to attract his baby's attention. "Open your mouth wide!"
Baby blinked at him with the straightest face ever. His two blue orbs were the very same as his father, and yet they held disinterest so great that it was a wonder Satoru didn't notice.
He then playfully smooched baby's face, but he scrunched up, cringing in response.
And later, another achievement unlocked: Satoru successfully got his son to sleep for his afternoon nap!
"You're so cute, sigh." Satoru poked his baby's cheek lightly. "You look like me, but when you sleep, you totally look like your mama..."
He might not say it out loud, but one of his favorite sights lately was seeing you sleep next to your son. Both of you looked so precious and vulnerable, so alike, and it made him warm.
And whenever he looked at this little creation between you and him, he also got the urge to poke him so bad.
So he did. Only this time, he poked him a little too hard.
And how wrong that move was.
His son immediately cracked his eyes open, his lips quivered, and then his whole face scrunched up, followed by—
"WAAA!"
"Oof! Wait— I'm sorry!"
Long story short, he refused to be held in Satoru's arms, so you took over and your husband could only watch you with dissatisfaction.
"Won't you let me hold you?" he asked despondently, pulling up a pitiful face and batting his eyelashes. "I have the warmest hugs! Mama can vouch for that!"
"Satoru, he doesn't want you."
DAY ONE RESULT : FAILED
DAY TWO
Okay, his baby would love him today. Satoru was sure of it.
He had ordered this baby ride-on toy via home shopping and not only that, he would play with him!
"Here we goo~! Honk! Honk!" Satoru steered the little vehicle with his son at the backseat, hyping him up and even made a weird sound that was supposed to resemble a... train?
You watched them both, giggling. Your husband looked positively ridiculous as he was too big for the small vehicle, but still persisted in entertaining your clueless baby behind him. "Oh my, Satoru, you're trying way too hard."
"I have to!" he retorted, sending pout and a glare at the same time. "You can't hog him all the time, he's my son too!"
"Well, good luck~ as it happens, your spawn isn't easy to impress."
"Just so you wait—!" Satoru begrudgingly shot you a look, eaten up by your taunts, not noticing the wall in front of him. "By the end of today, he'll— whoaaa!"
He was about to crash into the said wall, and you were prepared to jump to save your baby first. But then, Satoru did the next best thing to stop it—jumping out of the ride-on, rolling onto the floor... and crashing into the bookshelf that some of the things fell. "Ow!"
"Are you okay!?" you immediately picked up your baby before checking him over. However, Satoru's eyes were transfixed on your shared munchkin.
"Meh heh~"
And you too when you heard it— your baby was wiggling, all smiles, seemingly amused by the sight of his papa lying there pitifully. Satoru was aghast.
"Y-you have no filial piety!"
DAY TWO RESULT : FAILED
DAY THREE
Today, Satoru had gotten inside the playpen and brought a bunch of toys, planning to entertain his son with all of them.
"C'mon, don't throw that!" he pursed his lips when his kid flung the lego away. "Don't you want to play together with me?"
No. As if saying that, the baby crawled away from him. He seemed to have a target in mind though.
"Oi, what are you doing?" Satoru was puzzled, but he was in for a surprise when the child rose slowly.
"Oh, you're pushing yourself up..." he stated, observing how the baby, still wobbly, clutched on the edge of his playpen for support.
A huge grin spread across his face then. "Aww, look at you!" he gushed with pride. "You can stand already! Ooh!"
And suddenly, the sight tugged at his heartstrings. This was the first time he had ever witnessed such a milestone. He wasn't here when he first started teething or crawling, and now that he was here when his son was standing... he wanted to see more of this.
"Now, can you take a step?" Satoru moved closer to him, and the kid turned to him with those clear blue eyes and a little frown, seemingly unsure. "Go! Go! Come to me!"
He didn't think he would actually try to walk. But he did as baby let go of the support, alas suddenly he slipped—
And fell flat on his face.
"—! Are you hurt?!" Satoru immediately plucked him off the floor, horrified, and pulled him close when the baby started to sniffle. Soon, he began to wail inconsolably.
"Oh no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—!" he didn't even know why he was apologizing, but seeing his baby so frightened made his chest tighten. "Stop crying, oh wait—let's find mama!"
You were engrossed in your evening TV series when Satoru came barging to the living room with your poor son while being hysterical. "Help him!"
"What happened?!"
"He fell! He fell!"
Of course, your main concern was to comfort your baby, and so you reached out to take him from your husband's arms, only that...
"Huh...?" even Satoru was stunned when his son clutched onto his shirt, continuing to cry but refusing to let go, burying his little face into him.
Suddenly, he felt warm, he felt needed, and most of all, his desire to protect him was so overwhelming that he couldn't help but squeeze him closer.
You looked between the father and son, feeling giddy at the sight.
"He wants you," you finally smiled, patting baby's back. Satoru glanced between you and his precious pumpkin, seemingly taken aback as he blinked several times. When the fact sank in, he felt like a mush and pressed a kiss on his head.
The clown was convinced that his kid hates him and you are the savior. So, the fact that this little innocent being wanted him to comfort him... it made his heart flutter.
"Sorry, kid," he sighed into him, smushing his face to his little one's. "Don't cry, yeah? You're making me sad too."
"Satoru... are you getting glassy-eyed?"
"...am not!"
DAY THREE RESULT : DUBIOUS OUTCOME
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"He's asleep..." you placed your baby between you and Satoru on the bed later that night, he was now so peaceful, out like a light.
Satoru turned to face you and the baby, looking at both of you with a yawn, but a soft smile lit his face when he saw how you pecked his son's cheek lightly.
These three days made him almost forget that curses still existed out there. Spending time with his son blurred that fine line between reality and a perfect daydream.
"He is still so little, but he screams so loud," he mused, poking the baby's cheek gently. You swatted his hand away, worried he might poke too hard again.
"You keep teasing him, that's why."
"—? He keeps playing me, is why!"
You two burst into quiet giggles then, and you couldn't help but reminiscing about the journey from when you first found out you were expecting, through the first ultrasound, and all the way to delivering your son.
And it seemed like Satoru had an inkling of what you were thinking when he suddenly blurted:
"Thank you, for everything you do," he whispered then, his eyes crinkled so softly at you.
You playfully huffed to hide your misty eyes, and in that moment, Satoru knew, that you too were glad for this life you two shared.
. . .
And that, in and of itself, was enough for him to thank all the stars for bringing him to meet you in that most beautiful spring of 2006.
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Epilogue
It was morning, and baby was awoken by... sounds.
He looked to the side to find his mama there— your hand on his tummy to prevent him from rolling.
And then he turned to the other side to find his papa... who is perfectly still, but emanating this low sounds with each breath he took.
The longer he heard it, the more irritated your munchkin felt. So he rose, put his fists together, and came down on him—
Whack!
"—?!" Satoru groaned when something hit his face, and he opened his eyes only to see his son readying his punch again—
"W-why are you hitting me!" he was mortified. "H-help! Sweets, wake up! He’ll murder me!”
OVERALL MISSION RESULT : FAILED
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allmyocsarebritish · 2 days
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Taking flight
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Pairing: Adam X Reader
Warnings(?): Adam being Adam, teeny tiny mention of blood but it's barely there
For @rock-babe
Word count: 1.3k
~
Waking up for the first time after your death surrounded by paths of pure gold was entirely surreal, overwhelming you with joy at the prospect of eternity inside the pearly gates. You had made it. A winner, in Heaven.
The set of pure white wings that had sprouted from your back, resembling that of a dove's, took a while to grow accustomed to. Even after a whole month spent above Earth, you still couldn't actually fly. All other angels made it seem so elegant and effortless, yet somehow it never worked like that for you. Emily was quick to assure you that all you needed was time and practice, but that didn't stop your frustration at not being able to soar freely like the other residents of Heaven.
This meant that you dedicated at least a few hours a day to flight practice. This was always in relative privacy, of course, as, although you were somewhat getting the hang of things, progress was slow. Currently, you were attempting take off in a quiet alleyway, the occasional winner passing by yet paying you no mind. You were grateful for this.
Taking a deep breath, you stretched out your angelic wings once more, beginning to flap in order to get a feel for the wind between your feathers. Gaining momentum, your feet began to hover as you supported your whole weight on them. Swift movements increased in both speed and size as you began to rise. It was working!
Unfortunately, the moment of triumph was short lived, as you promptly lost your balance, landing in a disgruntled heap on the golden, shiny floor.
"Wow, you're really shit at this." Came a voice from behind. Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment at being caught. Turning, curious as to who had been watching you, you were met with a tall angel sat up on a small wall, clothed in a predominantly white robe. His face was covered by a deep black mask with two long horns, giving an overall intimidating appearance and a demonic silhouette. How strange.
Your eyes narrowed. "That's a bit rude, isn't it?"
The stranger scoffed, rolling his eyes. "No, it's true."
"Who even are you, anyway?" You asked, a question which seemed to strike a nerve within the angel. He immediately bristled, before the defensiveness quickly turned to arrogance.
"The name's Adam. Like, you know, the first man." He spoke with an air of superiority, which you now somewhat understood, given his abundant fame. "You new here or something?"
"Can't you tell?" You sniped back, though he failed to notice the irritance in your tone.
"Well, yeah. Clearly you must be if you don't know me, babe. Plus the whole.. flying thing." He gestured towards the tiny dotted beads of golden blood on your forehead springing from a small cut you must have received in the tumble. "You might need a bit of practice."
"Wow, thanks, I didn't notice." You rolled your eyes, wiping the small amount of blood on your sleeve. "Fuck does it look like I'm doing?"
"Alright, alright, keep your wings on!" Adam laughed at you as you folded your arms.
How long did it take you to learn then, smartass?" You asked.
"Uh, it didn't. I could do it straight away." Yeah, you walked right into that one. "It's easy, really. Look, I'll even show you."
Kicking off the wall, the angel gracefully flapped, wings stretched. The bright lights of Heaven accentuated the gold undertones in his feathers. You hated to acknowledge how impressive it was as he soared back down to stand before you.
"Literally just do it like that. It's not hard."
"Sure it isn't." You mumbled, growing even more frustrated.
"Listen, if you want I suppose I can help you. Because, you know, you might need it." It was rather difficult, but you managed to resist the urge to bite back.
"And how would you do that?"
"Come here." He beckoned you over, to which you took a step forwards, visibly confused.
"Closer." You took another step. Apparently it wasn't close enough however, as he stared at you before quite literally grabbing you and pulling you into him. Flustered at the sudden advance, your face heatened (top tier English there Jess wow).
"Now I'll support you, all you need to worry about is concentrating on flapping and getting a feel for proper balance."
Concentrating was easier said than done.
"You ready?" Adam asked, not waiting for an answer before taking off. It took a minute to comprehend what was happening: you had never gone so high so fast before. But once the realisation of the situation kicked in, you immediately began to violently beat your wings, causing him to laugh at you.
"Chill, seriously."
"Sorry." You slowed down slightly, relaxing into Adam's hold as you began to balance mid-air. The lack of stress and tension actually helped significantly, and you found yourself sinking into a rhythm. Though you'd never inflate his ego, Adam was right about this.
Distracted by your newfound ability, you didn't notice that, once he was confident you were capable, Adam began to gradually lessen his grip before letting go of you completely. In fact, you only realised you were flying solo when Adam soared ahead of you, both hands visibly empty.
"Seeeeee? Told you it was easy!" He smirked, though you were too overjoyed to care about his boasting. "Do you want me to help you turn back? It's a little harder than a straight line."
You weren't completely sure if that was true, nor were you sure why you agreed so enthusiastically, but before you knew it he was holding you again, 'strangely' enough waiting a little longer before letting go this time.
All in all, your impromptu flying lesson was over far too soon. As much as you desperately wanted to believe the joy you felt was solely due to your newfound capability, you knew it wasn't really, a fact that frustrated you and made you smile fondly simultaneously.
"Ready to land?" He asked, once again not letting you actually answer before chiming in with a response to 'you'. "Great, wait there one second." Adam's landing was just as graceful as his take off, and once his feet hit the floor, he was immediately beckoning you to join him on the ground. Desperately trying to move as smoothly as him, you slowly flapped, fully keeping your balance. Until you didn't. Desperately failing, you braced for the impact of plummeting to the ground, closing your eyes. Expecting severe pain, you were pleasantly surprised when, instead of hard pavement, you were caught by a familiar pair of strong arms.
"Gotcha. Really gotta work on that landing, babe. Don't wanna crash and ruin that face of yours."
"Oh yeah? Is that what you did? Is that why you're wearing a mask.?" You teased, to which he scoffed. Adam let you down, grabbing his strange disguise.
"Yeah right, you wish." He pulled it off, revealing his face. You weren't going to inflate his ego. You weren't going to inflate his ego. You weren't going to-
"See something you like?" He smirked, and your cheeks flushed upon the realisation you were staring as you quickly looked down.
"No."
"Mhm. Of course not." Adam drew closer to you, and you didn't back away. His hand came to rest on your face, lifting your head up and returning your gaze to him. He leaned in further, and your heartrate started to quicken. This was wrong. Well, was it? Maybe. Probably not. It was fine. You closed the distance, confidence growing as his free hand came to rest on your back. Your own arms wrapped around his neck, subconsciously pulling him closer.
"Same time tomorrow?" He whispered against your lips.
"Yeah. Same time."
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ophernelia · 2 days
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1-30 for lou and imogen
Well damn. Aight.
1. Where and how did they meet?
Summertime. Copperdale, NY. Right outside of Hattie's home. It's in the pilot episode of the series.
2. Was it love at first sight?
They were seven so... no lol.
3. If it was not love at first sight, how and when did they know it was love?
So, Lou knew before Imogen did. For him it was the summer they both turned 15. Imogen was upset because Krystle was making fun of her for not having her first kiss yet. Lou being Lou he offered to do it. Even though he had a girlfriend at the time. Kiss didn't mean anything to her, but it took Lou's head through a loop. He broke things of with the girl he was dating the next day. We got to see it click in Imogen's head. It was when she was talking to her mom before she hung out with Lou at the campsite. That was in episode 2 of the series.
4. What feature(s) do they find most attractive about their partner?
For Imogen, she'd say it's his eyes, lips, and hair. (Even though he cut it. She's upset about that.) He's also got really nice teeth, so seeing him smile is always a treat. Lou would say the same for Imogen, but he'd also include her legs, chest, and feet. I don't know. He gives me that vibe that feet would be his thing. Imogen's are nice. Tattooed, soft, and she always has a fresh pedicure.
5. What traits / personality aspects do they like most about their partner?
Imogen adores how sociable and chatty Lou is. He'd talk to a brick if it could talk back. She thinks his ability to speak to anyone makes him very brave. For Lou, he adores how sweet Imogen is but primarily towards him. It's a different sweetness and softness that she shows to other people. With him it's how lovingly she'll stare him or how sweet she'd talk to him. As if she had honey dripping from her lips. It's a side of herself that only he gets to see. He thinks it's the best side.
6. Do they have any habits their partner finds annoying?
Imogen is a bed snacker. She likes to crawl in bed with some chips or fresh veggies and just go to town. Lou hates it. He hates the crumbs, he hates the trash. He likes keeping the bed in pristine condition. There's only a few exceptions he'll make and none of them is food related. Lou doesn't stick to a side of the bed and it works Imogen's nerves. She likes to sleep on the right side of the bed. It's in the perfect position. It's close to Sozin's bed. It's close to thefan they have in the bedroom. Lou will fall asleep wherever. Right, left, middle- doesn't matter. He's huge and he takes up so much space. She hates it!
7. Is there anything about their partner they would like to change?
Lou thinks Imogen is the pinnacle of perfection, so he wouldn't change a thing. If you asked Imogen, she's refer to the last question lmao.
8. Where did they have their first date?
Their first real date was to the bronx zoo. It was a day trip. Lou planned the whole thing since Imogen couldn't decide where they should go. He didn't mind. He wanted to take her to see the giant anteaters because he knew she loved them. They hadn't been to the zoo together since they were kids. It was a nice date.
9. When and where did they have their first kiss?
I mentioned it earlier, but it was the summer they turned 15 in Hattie's garden. It was really brief. Just a peck. Nothing memorable for Imogen, but it had an impact on Lou.
10. How long have they been together?
At this current point in the series they've officially been together for about 2 years.
11. Will they stay together for a long time?
I'm sure it comes as a surprise to no one, but Lou and Imogen are end-game. They are my soulmate couple. There's not a lifetime they haven't been together.
12. Do they have many problems in the relationship or just a few? Or none?
They don't have problems often because they've gotten used to each other over the years. They usually squash them relatively quickly, but some times they'll have disagreements that span over a few days. Nothing too deep. It's usually just lighthearted problems.
13. Is there a big age difference between the partners, a small difference or are they the same age?
They're the same age. Imogen is older by two months.
14. Do other people approve or disapprove of the relationship?
They had a rough start, but people love them together now.
15. If someone disapproves of the relationship, who is it, and why do they disapprove?
The most interesting culprit is Dallas. Though she loves them together now, it took some getting used to. She loves Lou, but she felt like the two of them moved way too fast. From getting together, moving in together, getting engaged- it all happened in the span of a few months. They're both still very young and she just wanted them to save some stuff for the future.
16. Does the couple care if people disapprove of them being together?
Imogen adores her mom and wants her approval. As does Lou, but whether they got it or not they'd still be together.
17. Are they married?
Yes but they haven't had the ceremony just yet. Imogen is a Carranza now.
18. If they’re not married, do they want to be?
Lou nor Imogen every really thought marriage would be in the cards for them. Imogen had always been a little too strange to be liked openly, so she didn't think it was a possibility. Lou knew he'd want to get married one day after growing up seeing Dallas and Cale. After the events of the summer before the series began, he didn't think it'd be possible. Who'd wanna marry a monster? They were both painfully wrong.
19. Would they elope, have a small intimate wedding, big fancy wedding, or something else?
They're having a small wedding. Just a few friends and family members in Greece.
20. Where would they go on their honeymoon or dream vacation?
The two of them don't want to have a honeymoon. Travelling isn't much of a luxury for them, because of the amount of wealth Imogen's family has. If they want to go on a trip then all they have to do is make time for it.
21. Do they have any children? Do they want any?
Not yet. Imogen is fine with two. Lou wants a basketball team.
22. What is their favourite thing to do together?
Anything and everything as long as they're alone. They love their friends. A lot honestly, but nothing beats the two of them just hanging out around the house together uninterrupted. They love sitting down and getting into a good show together. Something scandalous and maybe a little trashy.
23. Where is their favourite place to go together?
It used to be the pier when they lived in Copperdale, but now it's a thrift store in their neighborhood. It's over near a pizza shop and ice cream parlor, so they make a whole event of it. They'll shop, grab a bite to eat, and then walk around the area.
24. Do they have a song?
I used to think it'd be Roslyn, but no they'd love "Beach Baby" by Bon Iver. It's one of the songs Lou would often ask Imogen to play on her guitar before they went to bed. It's their thing.
25. Do they have any pet names / nicknames for each other?
I don't think a day has gone by in recent years that Lou hasn't called Imogen "angel". Sometimes he may slip in a "baby" but it is almost always "angel". I haven't found anything that's stuck for Imogen. She's said "baba" or " lovebug" but nothing really works for her. I think it's because she just really loves his name. She likes saying it. I mean it's his, so how could she not?
26. Are they jealous?
YES. IMOGEN MORESO THAN LOU.
27. Is this a first relationship for either of them?
This is Imogen's first relationship. No one has ever liked her enough to ask until Lou. Lou has had plenty.
28. How do they show affection for each other?
They're very hands on with each other. Lots of hugs, lots of kisses. Imogen loves doing Lou's hair. Combing it, washing it, anything really. He enjoys a good scalp massage so he happily allows her to. Lou loves a good smooch. On the cheeks, on her forehead, on her lips- he's not at all particular.
29. How do they cheer their partner up when they’re sad?
Imogen can help Lou get out of a funk by going on a walk. He likes to walk and talk about what's bothering him. So, rain or shine, if Lou is feeling down then Imogen'll suggest a walk. Imogen likes a good cuddle. Especially in any position where Lou will lay on her chest and talk to her. He can usually get a giggle out of her just by rambling as he always does. She can't be upset for long after that.
30. Is either of the partners a ‘hopeless romantic’?  
Honestly.. netiher of them are. If something happened between the two of them it would completely shatter their perception of love. It's the only romantic love either of them have known.
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sockdooe · 1 month
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This comic is kicking me where it hurts rn so I’m scraping all the clean up I did cause I hate it
This was really the only part that I liked so here yah go :))
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toastsnaffler · 20 days
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oh wow just saw flatmate messaged saying another friend passed smth on like oh okay. I didn't realise he went too u didn't say. in fact none of u said anything to me so that's great
#he lives hours away thats a lot of travel just for drinks#when she asked me she said it was her + one other person. going out for drinks in evening.#but clearly she took the day off work bc ghosts dont do laundry. so it was a whole day trip. so why tell me it was just drinks#unless she just wanted a good excuse for me not to come. okay 👍#i cant even make myself mad abt it like fair enough man. i get it.#and if last weekend is anything to go off she probably wont ask me at all in the future#well as long as they have fun it doesnt matter i guess. im tired of feeling like im just intruding in everyones lives#and everyone fucking lying like what u say doesnt line up with how u act i can tell its not real im not that fucking stupid#ive dealt with this so many times before average autistic experience im tired of naively believing ppl and then the rug being pulled#sorry for being the way i am and for wanting things and for trying to take up space i give up its not worth it anyway#at least this is giving me smth to feel shit abt instead of just formless malaise. makes it easier to deal with that way#anyway. just need to get my shit enough together to leave the house by 3 so i can pick up this stuff for work#and i can do most of my other chores tmr so thats fine#i hate how much fucking time i waste feeling awful. no wonder other ppl have time to watch n read n create n whatever so much more than me#half of my fucking life is spent in my head trying and failing to emotionally regulate im so so sick of it#i wish i never had to think a single thought again and maybe id be happy#jesus fucking christ. well i need to leave my room soon bc i need to pee im not depressed enough to piss in a bucket just yet#hope i never get to that stage again amen uni was pretty fucking dire#.vent#hate weekends so fucking much what a waste of free time
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girl-bateman · 1 month
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My number one loser behaviour is hate-watching this one fuckass sims youtuber until I get so angry that I have to turn it off before the adrenaline makes me pull an all-nighter
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no1ryomafan · 5 months
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The urge to not be the most annoying person ever when Gurren Lagann is mentioned by anyone randomly and I get the urge to scream “DID YOU KNOW GETTER ROBO IS A INFLUENCE ON IT” because every instance it’s always unprompted, probably not getting the person interested and it’s not like I even watched Gurren to make justifiable comparisons nor do I know when the fuck I will.
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mightybeaujester · 8 months
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Stuck somewhere between 'I think I'm dying' and 'I'm craving death', the average migraine experience
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Life almost disappears, those summer afternoons spent reading in the park, your head half-leaning on his shoulder. Those mornings in the spring, a little late for work.
It didn't matter then, the way he took two sugars in his coffee. The way you let your hair grow out too long.
But these, the memories we keep, crammed in a shoebox full of polaroids, saved somewhere on a half-forgotten hard drive, they're what remains behind. They're what your sister finds, the weekend that she helps you pack your life.
And then it's sitting on the couch, your kitchen stuff already wrapped in paper. It's styrofoam containers, soda cans. It's wine that she's already drinking from the bottle.
And you can't figure out whose silhouette that was, who showed up to your party with a boa. And she is pretty sure her ex has kids.
But maybe that's why you and I keep postcards. Somebody's bow tie, paperclips, that bit of string.
They don't remind us of some other time, exactly. They're pieces of the people that we were, they're feelings that we'd wanted to hold on to.
#June 12 2023#I've had 'Spin' by Lifehouse stuck in my head all day.#Is it about some girl? Is it about god? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Who the heck even knows.#I mean that's like a very large percentage of Lifehouse's musical output.#Well this one could also be about parenthood I guess.#And I'm pretty sure 'You and Me' is definitely about Jason Wade's wife and 'Hanging by a Moment' is about god per comments he's made.#But it's a fun party game isn't it?#Speaking of 'Hanging by a Moment'. Even though it came out when I was like 12 and I hadn't yet realized the whole religious thing.#I associate it most with the summer I was 25 and living with my parents for the summer for a grad school internship.#I remember driving my mom's car to work after dropping her off along the way and cranking up the radio.#Unfortunately my options were limited to the pop station (too many commercials) or the Spanish station (I don't speak Spanish)#or the Christian rock station (the one I usually listened to despite my uncomfortable relationship with religion especially at the time).#And the first time I heard them play Lifehouse I was like wtf? Why is the Christian rock station playing something I actually like?#And then I really listened to the words of 'Hanging by a Moment' and I was 'Oooooh.'#And that was how it took me like 13 years to realize a band I liked and owned cds of may or may not have written a bunch of songs about god#Which honestly would have turned 12 year old me off a lot because like it's not fun being an atheist when almost everyone's a dick about it#And I'm not sure it was the healthiest coping mechanism for the whole having my heart shattered by a religious dude when I was 25...#Actually that's not true. That year I mostly played the fuck out of Emmylou Harris's and Bob Dylan's most depressing hits. ('Gold' anyone?)#Followed by Royal Wood's divorce album when that came out.#But blasting the Christian rock station in the car? Definitely kind of intentionally masochistic. But also I really hate radio commercials.#I did listen to a lot of Lifehouse that summer.#So regardless of what the songs are actually about they all remind me of the highway and my mom's old car and carpooling to work.#Except 'Blind'. 'Blind' still makes me cry.#That was a really pointless aside because I don't feel like writing or going to sleep and will probably stay up listening to Lifehouse now.#I guess the moral of that story if it needs to have a moral is:#If you're a godless heathen and someone makes you feel like shit because they act like there's something wrong with you for it#you're much better off not wasting your time trying to understand why they think like that and living your best heathen life instead.#Or something like that. Idk.
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bibiana112 · 2 years
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Officially at so distressed that I broke my stim toy levels of autism
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fagrights · 2 years
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cries to my mom about this whole situation earlier tonight didn’t realize I was so upset about it but..
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korattata · 5 months
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i wish tumblr would let me put 2 videos in one post so i could post a comparison of how Chicory was acting normal and then 48 hours later was acting. not okay.
mostly so i could just point at it and go 'why are rats like this'
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britneyshakespeare · 6 months
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i wish i didn't get immovably anxious every time i even think about taking a covid test
#low key i have so much trauma from when i had covid this year#and the test was a big part of it#i mean i ALWAYS got anxious when i would test myself before. don't get me wrong#but in march when i had it. i took one test and it took the full fifteen minute for the FAINTEST test line to appear#and i mean SO faint i wasn't sure i was looking at it right or if it was a shadow#i asked kaily what she thought and she reassured me 'i mean. why not just take a second' (which i knew was the right thing anyway)#(but nobody likes taking covid tests especially if youre me)#and then i scrubbed a little extra hard on the second test immediately after and it turned bright red within minutes#and i wasnt that sick yet but the next few days were Terrible for me#and of course realizing i was covid positive made me so unhappy.#just dread. that whole time was dread#and i had that abusive friend making it worse for me the whole time#it was like i was taking care of him while i was so sick i couldnt move#and he knew it. god i hate him so much#he can go to hell. he was also very dismissive of my symptoms and needs#even while i had covid and was recovering from it afterward#despite the fact i was an angel to him while he was going through his own covid experience... which he pretended he was grateful for#and could never reciprocate. wow i hate him so much!#complaining about what an awful guy he was is making me less anxious now. cuz im mad#tales from diana#anyway it came out negative but i still feel uneasy because i have a million tiny reasons why im always sure ill get a false negative#even though all i have right now is. a SLIGHTLY sore throat.#and very very very high anxiety. but that's been about work tomorrow#i dont wanna talk anymore byyyye
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no-one-hears-me · 10 months
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happy midnight today is the one year anniversary of an iconic photo that I need to send to bestie later
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siobhanromee · 1 year
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I've been a bit radio silent for the past few days, so idk life updates in the tags
#I went to a dance with a group of friends and it was already kinda weird#Bc there were 2 couples and then a pair who were going as a pair of friends#And like we decided to go to a park#Well not we exactly but they decided to go to a park 20 minutes out of the way#To take pictures#dont get me wrong very pretty park but like a couple miles out of the way of things#And communication was SO bad to me about the pictures and where they were going to be taken#And someone texted me that we were meeting at 4 but then texted me like a while before#That they were running late and pushed it to 430#So I didnt rush to get ready#But like then. As I left I was texted 'actually we weren't as late as we thought. Come whenever' so I got there at 4:20 (still earlier than#the altered time)#But everyone else was there and they took some pictures before i got there#Which is understandable. But I've only seen those pictures posted. Even though I was there and a bunch of pictures have me in them#So conspiracy brain is like ah yes they hate me and think I'm ugly and therefore posted none of the pictures I'm in#Whic h I know is fucking bullshit in my reasonable brain but emotional brain hasnt caught up yet#And lik#And the whole time we were taking pictures my friends damn girlfriend was like 'I'm so hot(temperature wise). I want to be done with this.#My face hurts from smiling' and like I know she had a long day before that but even my family member asked me afterward if she was always l#like that and I was like... yeah#And i want to like her bc i know my friend really likes her but she has done so many little things that piss me off#And I dont think I would ever be able to talk abt those things bc they are so small individually but together... all those things just make#her a person I really fucking dislike#And like I feel like the only person who has beef with her bc everyone else seems to like her#And so at the event I felt like the most useless 7th wheel#And I eventually left the group and went and ACTUALLY HAD FUN for the first time in the fucking night with another girl#And like I feel like I wasted time befriending the group i was with bc I had way more fun with someone else who I didnt spend time building#A relationship with#Anyways it was bizarre how much my mood changed when I went with someone who actually showed interest in me#I will meet a whole bunch of new ppl pretty soon so I hope to make a whole bunch of different friends.
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dreamescapeswriting · 4 months
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Stray Kids Reaction || You Were Clingy And Suddenly You Aren't
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PAIRING: Skz x GN!Reader 
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - February 2024
⤜MASTERLIST
CHAN:
You hadn’t even meant to overhear the conversation the boys were having but you had and ever since you’d distanced yourself from Chan, giving him space, major space even. You'd stopped showing up at the dorms after work and you stopped going to spend time with Chan at the studios on your days off. You didn't want to be around him if you were too clingy, or overbearing to him and you panicked.
"You're ignoring me and I hate it," Chan said bluntly as he sat across from you at the cafe you would frequent. You forced yourself to look up from the book you'd been trying to read and frowned seeing him standing there.
"What?" You were sure he was supposed to be in practice right now and yet here he was panting and staring at you.
"You're ignoring me, did I do something wrong?" His voice broke as he pulled out a chair and sat down across from you,
"What? No...N-No, I'm just giving you space." You smiled weakly, shutting your book and looking up at him. You didn't want to get into this in the middle of a cafe but you also didn't want to go back to the dorms with him and risk another comment from Seungmin.
"When have I ever said I needed space?" He chuckled at you but you didn't find any of this funny, you were a little stressed that he didn't see you the same way you saw yourself right now.
"You haven't but I realise how overbearing I am right now-"
"What are you talking about?" His hand clasped yours in his grip and he ran his thumb over your skin, your heart picking up as you let out a small whimper. 
"Seungmin said he never sees us apart and I realised how tiring that must be for you." You shrugged, trying to take your hand back but Chan gripped you a little tighter,
"Yn." He whispered, his voice laced with sympathy,
"I'm sorry if I'm too much sometimes, I just...I like spending time with you." Tears were beginning to roll down your cheeks even though you hadn't meant to cry, everything you'd been bottling up finally overflowing,
"And I love spending time with you, it doesn't matter what Seungmin said." He mumbled, moving to the spot right next to you and wrapping his arm around your shoulder.
"Let's go home, okay? I missed you and I have some cuddling with you to catch up on." He smirked a little making your whole body heat as you nodded at him, quickly kissing his cheek.
MINHO:
After you'd heard Chan say to Minho that you were "Around each other all the time." you'd stopped going around as much. It wasn't anything personal but you didn't want to be too much for Minho, or the others. You worried they'd find you annoying if you were too clingy with your boyfriend and so you took some steps back.
"Yn? I know you can hear me...Just talk to me, did I do something wrong?" Minho pleaded through the door of your apartment. You hadn't responded to him all day and he was beginning to worry you were in a fight without him realising you were in a fight.
"I'm going to use the emergency key if you don't answer." He warned before you sighed, unlocking the door and stepping to the side to let him in.
"Are you sick? Did we have a fight and I didn't notice?" He laughed weakly as he made his way to your sofa and sat down, a clear sign that he wasn't going to go anywhere any time soon so you shut the door and sat across from him.
"No."
"So then what's going on?" He hated overthinking and that was all he'd managed to do ever since you'd disappeared on him and gone quiet.
"I'm giving you some space." You offered as if he'd asked for it but he frowned, shaking his head,
"Space? Why?"
"I feel like I'm overbearing sometimes and I worry I'm around you too much." You'd been overthinking it ever since you'd heard Chan and now you worried if you came on too strong with Minho he'd leave.
"Baby, I enjoy spending time with you." He reached out to touch you but you shifted away from him.
"I know you say that but I feel like I'm too clingy and I should just give you some space."
"But I don't need that, I need my beautiful and amazing partner by my side, always." He whispered as you sniffled a little, tears running down your cheeks as you stared back at him,
"I just don't want you to think I'm smothering you." As soon as he heard you say that he dragged you onto the sofa beside him,
"You could never smother me, if there was ever an issue we would talk about it, don't pull away from me." He begged, his hand running over your cheek as he rid your face of the tears,
"Okay..."
"Trust me, baby, we're good." He tells you as he wraps you in the tightest hug he could manage, your body relaxing a little as you finally felt close to him again.
CHANGBIN:
"I never see you two without each other." The words had seemed so casual coming from Minho's lips and yet you suddenly felt as though your whole world was coming apart around you. 
"Yn? You going home?" Changbin frowned as he walked into his bedroom to find you packing up your things. After you'd heard Minho you knew it was time to give Changbin some space.
"I thought you were staying here tonight."
"Yeah, I just, I thought I should give you some space." You shrugged it off, doing your best to stay as calm and rational as possible but your mind kept going back to your past relationships. Whenever you got too clingy things would go sideways and they'd split with you and you didn't want that with Changbin.
"Space?" He frowned and stood beside you,
"I've been clingy lately and I don't want to smother you, so I'm going to head home." You folded up your last bit of clothing but Changbin was just as confused as he was when he started this conversation
"Smother me? Yn, you could never smother me...Where is this coming from?" He put his hand on your shoulder trying to make you look at him but you didn't, you knew if you did you'd give up and stay all night.
"I just worry that I'm always around and it's probably too much for you. I don't want to be that kind of a partner to you."
"Yn." He stilled your hands on your bag, 
"I love having you around, you make everything better and you're not too much." He hated that you could ever think such a thing when he thought the entire world of you,
"But in my last relationships, things were too much and I don't want to end up pushing you away." You whispered, your voice cracking a little as Changbin held your face in his hands.
"I get that, but we're different. Okay? I don't want you to distance yourself from me because of some bonehead in the past." You stare at him a little unsure of what to do.
"We can spend the night here and then you'll see how much I need you around." He whispered as you nodded a little, your cheeks heating as he kissed you softly.
HYUNJIN:
Hyunjin knew that there was something wrong the moment you'd stopped replying to him over text and then when you cancelled most of your plans he knew he had to do something to make you feel better.
"What...What are you doing here?" You questioned your boyfriend as you walked into your apartment to see him cooking for you.
"You're home early, damn, this was supposed to be done for when you came in." He brushed his hands down his apron and hugged you tightly, you hugged him back but frowned at him.
"What was?"
"Dinner." He gestured to the oven behind him which was filled with food.
"I noticed you were being distant and I wanted to come over and do something nice for you." He smiled warmly but you just felt guilty that he'd come all the way out here to do this for you.
"Is everything okay?" He asked as he went back to stirring whatever it was on the hob but you looked down at the floor. Everything was fine until Changbin mentioned that he never saw you apart from one another and you realised you needed to give Hyunjin space.
"I'm just worried I might be too clingy...or overbearing," You shrugged, scratching the back of your neck as Hyunjin froze.
"Clingy and overbearing? What would give you that thought?" He stopped what he was doing, moving the food off the heat.
"I love our time together," He added, worry started to seep into him as he thought about it.
"I know you say that now but I don't want you to feel suffocated or that I'm always around." Within seconds Hyunjin was in front of you and frowning,
"Yn, being with you is the best part of my day, you're never suffocating to me." He smiled a little.
"But we're never apart and I don't want you to get sick of me." You sniffled a little but Hyunjin kissed you softly, wrapping his arms around you.
"If there is one thing in this world I can promise you, it's that I would neve ever get sick of you." He explained, you hesitated for a second a little unsure of what to do but you smiled weakly.
"You're sure?" You quizzed before he nodded, kissing your cheek.
"We can talk more over dinner, but I promise you I don't want or need you to put space between us," He told you, kissing the top of your head and going back to cooking.
JISUNG:
Ever since last week, Jisung had noticed something changing with you and he was beginning to worry he'd done something that might have upset you. Even now as you walked together on the beach he could sense something was wrong. You weren't holding his hand or onto his arm like you usually would and you weren't asking him to go on rides with you or to play some fair games when you would pass by them.
"Is everything okay? With us...I mean." He usually wasn't upfront with his feelings but ever since the two of you had started seeing one another he'd been getting better at it,
"Yeah." It was obviously a lie and Jisung frowned at you, stopping still and making you look at him.
"What's going on?" He stared at you and you knew he wasn't going to stop asking unless you told him the truth which worried you more than you cared to admit.
"Do you think we're around each other too much?" You finally asked making Jisung's eyebrows knit together in a frown.
"No? Why?" He shook his head at you but you looked away from him,
"It was something Felix mentioned...T-That we're never apart and I worry that-"
"You're clingy?" He finished for you and you nodded a little before he sighed and kissed your cheek.
"You're not clingy at all, you know I love having you around right?" He stares at you and smiles a little.
"You make me feel less anxious, you make me feel like a whole other person when I'm with you and I never want space." He told you simply, bringing you into his arms and smiling as you cuddled into him.
"You promise you'll come to me in the future if you start to worry again?" He quizzed and you nodded your head, kissing him quickly as you continued your walk on the beach front.
FELIX:
As you rounded the corner of your apartment building you frowned finding Felix standing there knocking on your door.
"Felix? I thought we cancelled tonight." You said as you walked closer to him but something was off, you could see he'd been crying and it instantly made you worry.
"Are we okay? Are you breaking up with me?" He sniffled, you quickly ushered him into your apartment not wanting to get any unwanted attention from your neighbours and you shut the door.
"Breaking up? What? No." You mumbled shaking your head at him.
"You've been so distant and then J-Jisung said it meant you were going to break things off with me."
"Jisung is wrong." You grumbled, you and Jisung weren't exactly seeing eye to eye after you'd heard him mention to Felix how clingy you were.
"So then what's going on? Did I do something to upset you?"
"No, Lix." You sighed sitting next to him on the sofa.
"I overheard Jisung talk about me and he mentioned how we're never apart and I just...I thought I was giving you space." You shrugged it off and Felix sighed, clearly frustrated.
"I'm sorry you heard him say that but....for the record, I assure you that I don't find you clingy...I love you so much," He smiled warmly at you but you looked down at the floor.
"I don't want to be a burden," Your head was slowly tilted up to look at Felix and you smiled weakly.
"You're not a burden, Yn. I'll talk to Jisung and clear this up but don't let his dumb words affect us," He told you sternly before kissing you softly and standing up.
"Where are you going?" You frowned as he stretched a little,
"To talk to Jisung."
"No. Stay and cuddle I missed you," You laughed, dragging him back to you, he could talk to Jisung another time, right now it was just you and him.
SEUNGMIN:
Seungmin hadn't always been the best at expressing himself when it came to your relationship but he always felt as though he'd done a pretty good job up until now. Now he had no idea what was wrong and if he'd done something to upset you since you'd just distanced yourself from him. 
"Seungmin? What are you doing here?" You whispered as you turned around to find your boyfriend in your office, somewhere he shouldn't have been if he didn't want to get noticed. You quickly shut and locked your door, pulling the blinds down.
"I had to see you, we've barely spent any time together."
"I've been busy." You lied looking down at the floor but Seungmin wasn't going to take some bullshit for an excuse he needed to know what was going on.
"You've been acting distant for weeks, what's going on?"
"I just figured you needed some space." Seungmin waited for you to say something else but when you didn't he frowned even more at you.
"Why would I need space?" He stared down at you as you sat at your desk,
"I've been a little annoying and clingy lately and I didn't want to keep bothering you."
"When have you ever bothered me? Where would you even get such an idea?" He sat across from you and narrowed his eyes a little, he was like a human lie detector and you knew you wouldn't be able to hide anything from him.
"Jeongin mentioned how we're never apart and I just- I thought you might get annoyed with me." You explained before Seungmin stared at you as though you had a second head.
"Baby, you're not annoying, you never could be...ever, I don't ever want you to feel like that." He moved quickly to kneel by your side and he took your hands in his, kissing them softly.
"I love you...Okay? You're important to me and I want us to be able to talk if things ever bother us," He offered and you nodded, quickly kissing him and smiling to yourself.
"I promise to come to you in the future," He nodded and kisses you again, deeper this time,
JEONGIN:
It was a quiet night in until Jeongin showed up at your door, usually Friday nights were reserved for the two of you to spend time together but you'd been acting differently lately and it was starting to worry him. Especially tonight when you cancelled on him seemingly to do nothing at home.
"You're acting weird and I'm worried," Jeongin explained as he stood in your apartment, you refused to look at him instead choosing to stare at the TV with a drama playing on it.
"Yn, talk to me." He begged as he sat across from you on the coffee table. Sighin you looked at him, you hesitated in telling him everything but you knew he'd never leave if you didn't spill your guts to him.
"I'm sorry if I've been distant...I just-" You sighed, you didn't even know where to start with any of this.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. I just want to understand what's going on. Is something or someone bothering you?" He stared at you with concern written all over his face and you sighed,.
"Lately I've just been feeling like maybe I'm too clingy and then I heard Minho mention that we're never apart and it just...it drove home what I was already feeling," You mumbled, playing with the sleeves of your shirt as jeongin stared at you.
"Clingy? You're not clingy at all, nowhere near." He mumbled, quickly moving to sit beside you.
"I don't know, I heard what Minho said and then at work, I heard people talking about their relationships and I just...I thought I was being a burden." Jeongin reached out and took your hands in his.
"You're not and never will be a burden to me, Yn. I love you and want you in my life."
"I don't want to ever smoother you or make you feel trapped with me." You added and he smiled at you,.
"Okay, but communication is key. Shutting me out and putting space between us won't let us fix what's going on. We need to talk it through together." He squeezed your hands a little and you nodded, you knew he was right deep down and you kissed him softly.
"I promise to talk if anything bothers me again," You whispered before the two of you cuddled together on the sofa for a while.
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