#this was birthed by me eating kraft mac and cheese

[daveys-tired]

medieval british man eats kraft macaroni and cheese 2023 colourised

[dahfloofysmol]

HELLO. This is the official post for YouTube kids’ surprise party on the 27th of March. Any and all gimmick blogs welcomed!

Some roles we need are:

-DJ [real-pollo-campero]

-great DJ (as per requested 🤨) [spotify-kids-real]

-video jockey [buildabearfr]

-Someone to make the cake [forever21-official]

-Puncher server [big-mayo-official]

-Decorator [barns-and-noble-official]

-Party crasher(s) [officialtinder and youtubefr and actually-kroger]

-Corner Person [Pinterest, yahooo-official, reallytimhortons]

-Person who’s dealing with a crazy sugar high [firewaysubs and zotap]

-Emotional support [walmart and def-bjs-guys]

-Mom [Krista the art program and Canadian tire] AND dad friend

-Birthday person IS taken (obviously lol)

-Someone to bring snacks [incognito-mode-official]

-Ring Leader (person in charge of the games) [totally-official-yahoo]

-person who performs a special but confusing (and overly translated) version of happy birthday [google translate ]

-piñata [firehouse-subs-fr]

-setting off fireworks [google-news-official]

-here for the food and bringing tWO DOGS!!! OMG DOGS!!!!! [swearification-and-cursing]

-person currently trying tO EAT THE CAKE!! STOP THAT!!! [shakespeare-official-account]

- stopping the Cake Eater [wow-google-maps]

- putting spiders (?????) under the cake [true-blue-straya]

- the person that is every bisexuals awakening [it’s-target-official]

-pops in for the last 5 minutes with a card + a store bought cake [the-real-google]

- gay wine uncle [the-McDonald’s]

- creepy uncle (???) [rick-e-chedder-official]

-single rich aunt who disappears every night at specifically 8:00 pm [totally-not-kraft-mac-and-cheese]

-shapeshifts between wine aunt and vodka uncle, and the comic relief [the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

- bringing lights so we aren’t all dancing in the dark [real-vivaldi-browser]

- summoning Satan under the table with a bottle of whiskey and pancakes (??????????) [definitely-canada]

-person asking weirdly specific and absurd questions [actual-aspec-military]

-the COOLEST cousin [support-speaks]

-cousin who hangs out in the corner and looks like they know something you dont [the-official-publix]

-person who hits on everyone at the party even though they’re already dating 2 ppl [fr-winn-dixie]

-contributes Ziploc® bags [totally-scjohnson]

-bringing burritos [the-real-chipotle]

-YouTube's kids southern aunt who blesses everyone's hearts bc they think theyre dumb most of the time [i-bless-your-heart]

-middle school cousin who argues with anyone and everyone to look cool [wallyworld-the-unofficial]

-gives oil (?????????????) and branded pens as party favors [truly-jcjenson]

-the strange neighbor kid who talks to no one but sings the loudest and brings a weird yet tasteful gift [the-real-aperture-science]

-bringing Walmart sugar cookies [not-really-discord]

-guy bringing the Knives [wheatley-labs-official]

-joining in on the games [totally-official-yahoo]

-the disco ball [jollibee-real]

-that one uncle with lore of untold numbers of deaths involved, and that includes guns [partycityistotallyofficailguy]

And any other role I haven’t stated!! I’ll accept pretty much anything

In case what you pick is already chosen, tag your second option ;p

—>The biggest part of the surprise party is wishing YouTube kids a happy birthday, but in the most creative way possible. In the “ask me” works, but literally anywhere; on your blog or on a post from anywhere (that you know they’d be okay with a little shenanigans) works wonderfully.

->Also, saying happy birthday is awesome, but spicing it up would be more fun!!! Day Of Birth, One of Awakening, Oh Child of the 27th, and any other batshit way to say “happy birthday” would both be awesome and absolutely hilarious.

Again, invite any and all gimmick blogs, and feel free to let me know what you’d want to do! We attack on the 27th >:DD

ADDITIONAL NOTE: sometimes there will be more than one person in each role! I do actively encourage for people to come up with silly and niche roles if you think of one ;D

ON THE 24th I WILL NO LONGER TAKE ROLLS!!!! Spread the word please!

@barnes-and-noble-official @basically-bumble @totallyofficialtacobell @totally-official-yahoo @totally-bing @officialtinder @officially-google-translate @officially-ikea @official-fedex @incognito-mode-official @forever21-offical @officialkfc @kfc-official @k-f-c-official @life360-i-swear @xgames-blog @cars-official @big-mayo-official @bingle-official @the-real-google @the-real-firefox @nasa @wow-google-maps @wallyworld-the-unofficial @walmart-the-official @realgoogleslides @realgoogledocs @yahooo-official @unfortunate-wattpad @firewaysubs @firefox-official @pinterest-real @spotify-kids-real @duothelingo @definitely-wikipedia @firehouse-subs-fr @google-2point0 @gimmick-thief

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #349

“we’ll meet again, when both our cars collide”

When was the last time you had a PopTart? It's been many, many months. Do you like hot chocolate? Well duh. Who made you laugh the hardest today? I haven't really laughed today. Who was the last person to promise you something, and what was it? Hmph. Would you ever jump into a fire to save your bestfriend? I know I would. Do you have a callus from writing too much? No, I only have calluses on my feet from when I used to walk for hours on end. They just never permanently went away, even with grooming. Who is someone you’ve made a bad first impression on? I dread to guess what the girl Jason dated after me was told about me. I shouldn't care at all, but I do. I have every reason to accurately be defined as "the crazy ex," and I fucking hate it. Who is your best guy friend? Girt, a friend from high school. Do you read cereal boxes while you’re eating? I did as a kid, but now I don't. I just kinda stand and eat. What’s the last thing you accidentally (or purposely) burnt? I kinda burnt the roof of my mouth on pizza the other night. Do you know anyone with a lip piercing? Me, haha. I know others, too. What did the last tattoo you saw, look like? I don't remember. Have you ever given birth? NO FUCKING THANK YOU. Do you enjoy making out? I mean if I'm in the mood to and I love you, yeah. Why exactly do you take surveys? "I genuinely like doing them and they’re great for venting and sorting out thoughts and whatnot. I can just ramble and get things off my chest." <<<< This right here covers it. As well, it's just a boredom killer. And I happen to be bored very, very often. Rockband or Gutair Hero? Both are great, why choose just one? What are you listening to right now? Halocene's cover of "Helena" by My Chemical Romance. It's beautiful. What kind of energy drinks do you drink, if any? None, because I just can't do energy drinks. They taste like pure poison to me. Have you ever been swimming in a river? No. Swimming in a river sounds pretty dangerous... Does your alarm clock wake you with music, or with an annoying buzz sound? Music. When you broke stuff in the house as a child, did you blame it on siblings? I'm hoping you don't mean breaking deliberately, 'cuz I wasn't that kind of kid. But anyway, I don't believe I did. Did you make it all the way through the Oregon Trail game? Yes. I was obSESSED with those games as a kid. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Which one are you more scared of? Tigers, probably. They're so stealthy and, while I may be entirely wrong, seem like the top candidate of the three to attack a human, be it for food or defense. And have you SEEN the muscles on a tiger? Christ. Describe the best use that you’ve found for duct tape: Uh, taping things lmao. Do you wrap gifts or use gift bags? I use gift bags, because I can't wrap for shit. What fast food place do you avoid at all costs? Arby's is really gross to me. Are you afraid of deep sea creatures? Just giant squid... *shudders* Have you ever agreed to purchase something on Ebay and got scammed somehow? No. I did, however, purchase something on deviantART and never got the product. It was going to be a present for Jason. In dA's defense though, I've bought like... two or three other things from there, and there were zero issues. It's really about the people you trust. If you get a call that says “Unknown”, do you answer it? Nnnnope. Do you have any bobble head figures? No. Have your parents ever left you somewhere without realizing it? I don't think so. Have you ever been in a tanning bed? No. Did your last kiss mean anything to you? Well yeah, I wouldn't have kissed her otherwise. Would you say that you have a nice smile? No; I've been self-conscious of it since I was a kid, mostly because one of my eyes looks more squinty than the other, but they both are to me. I've always said I look high when I smile lmao. Is there an ex you want to make up with? My mind immediately screams "Jason," but I know that's a horrendous idea. Our last talk ended peacefully and even with care and good wishes, and I need my fucking impenetrable head to accept that's where it needs to end. He does NOT need to re-enter my life. It would be so bad for me. Do you remember how you felt on 9/11? I have no memory of it, if I'm being honest. What outfit makes you feel the most attractive? None. Other than yourself, who knows you the best? Really? Whoever reads these lmao. What’s one complaint that you have about school? Common Core and how every student's school experience was not tailored towards their unique goals. Like they try to cram a shitload of identical and usually useless information into a kid's brain to make them a jack of all trades, you could say, but not enough information they need to properly pursue their career future. It causes such an unnecessary amount of frustration and stress. I have many, many complaints about the education system, but this one tops the list. What do you do while you’re on campus but not in class? Back in college, I would just do stuff on my laptop. Do you know anyone who has Autism/Asperger’s syndrome? Yes. Are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not? Well, considering I'm bisexual... Do you remember life without the internet? No. Have you ever found yourself to be ugly? I've gone my entire life thinking I'm ugly, if I'm being real. What is your state’s minimum wage? $7.25 a fucking hour. :'''''') Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? There's a few people. What is your first memory of being in a hospital? Considering my mom worked at the local hospital when I was a kid, I remember being there quite, quite young, playing with my older sister in Mom's and her coworkers' room. I think Nicole was too young to really "play." Do you have any relatives with red hair? No. What is something good that has happened to you in the past week? I got my first Covid vaccine. My arm hurts like a motherfucker now, but to protect my mom, it's worth it. Please get vaccinated. How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived? That's never been my business. Have you ever been to a gay pride parade? No, but I would go to a local one if I could actually walk five feet without being in serious pain and sweating like a pig. Do you still keep in touch with your very first best friend? We're friends on Facebook, but that's it. What was the topic of the last conversation you had with your dad? I can't remember, but it was recent, because we all met at Ashley's house for Nicole's birthday celebration. How often did you visit your grandparents when you were growing up? Pretty much never, given they all lived no less than like, 10 hours (via car) from where we lived. My immediate family are the only people in NC. When two family members are fighting, what do you usually do? Stay out of it, but admittedly try to listen just to know what's going on. Do you like the smell of men’s cologne? Yeah. What’s your all time FAVORITE freezer food? Do you eat that a lot? I survive off of microwaveable freezer food, so this is very hard... uhhhhh... perhaps this Banquet bowl meal that's mac 'n cheese with spicy chicken. It's absolutely delicious, like you'd never guess that sucker was just popped in the microwave. I'd say I eat it a moderate amount; it's a reliable option if Mom's not cooking and I'm really hungry, because it's super filling. Do you like documentaries? Have you ever watched one and find it boring? I enjoy them, particularly when they're about animals. Were you ever a fan of macaroni & cheese? Do you like Kraft dinner? Ha, speak of mac 'n cheese. I love it, and Kraft makes it fine. Do you burn incense? Not as much as I used to. I love the smell and just general vibe, though. What would you consider an unacceptable first date? Going to a bar or something. Have you ever been so sick you had to be taken to the hospital? In the head, anyway. Is there anything currently bothering you? Multiple things. Would you say that you’ve got something ‘special’ about you? No. Do you like things vampire-related? I don't really have an opinion on vampire stuff. Are you the kind of person who does not like talking about their past? I don't care. Have you ever been to a casino? No. What’s the last thing you wore a costume for besides Halloween related events? Back when I still took dance classes and we had the yearly recital. What does your father do for a living? He's a mailman. What’s the last app you downloaded on your phone? Haha, I re-downloaded this ollllldddd game I had before, Nyan Cat: Lost in Space (or something like that?) for my niece to play. She's hooked on it now. Are you in any discomfort right now? Yeah; as I mentioned, my arm really hurts. What do you know the most about? Of all things I know, almost certainly meerkats. Are you seeing anyone? No. Have you ever hooked back up with an ex, just for sex? Was it a mistake or no? No. Have you ever gotten in trouble for using a phone in class? No, because I didn't use my phone in class. Have you seen all the Shrek movies? No, which is a fucking crime. I need to see the last one. Have you ever finished a whole video game? Plenty plenty plenty. Do you know anyone with a pet snake? Yeah, myself included. If you had to live in an extreme environment — think Sahara, Antarctica, under the sea, on the Moon— where would you want to live? Why? Probably Antarctica. I'm sure it would be unpleasant, being that cold, but I feel there's more you can do about being cold than being in the scalding heat of, say, the Sahara. Living on the moon or in the deep ocean sounds super sucky. How was your day overall? It's been okay. Not as bored as usual, at least. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Like... zero. I want to say my dad, and I almost do, just... nightmares make that very, very difficult. Plus his past. What does your mom call you? Normally just "Britt." Write a sentence in another language: Oh god, my German is so rusty... uhhhh... Hallo, ich heiße Brittany, und ich bin 25 Jahre alt und wohne in North Carolina. I think I got the grammar right? Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Even if I was comfortable with my body, I would be way too paranoid to at any point have a naked picture on my phone, even if I deleted it. Like, hello blackmail, but also, nothing you delete is ever really gone permanently. What big city do you live near? Raleigh is like an hour away. Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? omg YES Is there a Sonic in your area? Yes, it's my favorite fast food joint. You have GOT to try the pretzel twists with cheese dip. Have you ever gone to a thrift store? Yeah, I love 'em. Do you think Johnny Depp is attractive? I do. Are you happy with the state you live in? No, not at all. I hate this place. Bunch of homophobic, racist rednecks. How many times have you seen the opposite sex naked? It's not like I counted every time I saw my ex naked over three and half years lmao. How many times have you seen the same sex naked? A few times. When days go by, do you cross them off on the calendar? I don't use a calendar. Are you currently counting down to something? If so, what? MY TATTOO APPOINTMENT!!!!! :''') I know I can't stop talking about it, but ugh I'm so excited. May 19th, c'mon already. Do you pay rent to your parents? No. Do you dye eggs for Easter? I used to as a kid. Not so much anymore. Are you in debt right now? For what? Oh god, I don't want to think of this. Would you ever work night crew? I really, really wouldn't want to. Humans are diurnal for a reason. Being awake in constant darkness would depress the fuck outta me, and it'd feel so lonely, with everyone I know asleep. Who was the last person that lied to you, or that you can recall lying to you? What did they lie about? How did you find out they were lying? I don't remember. Has anyone ever called you ugly, straight up, before? How did you react to this? No, not to my face. Who is the most stubborn person you know {excluding yourself}? MY MOTHER.

[noonmutter]

Munday Stuff

NICKNAME.  Mremaknu, Leon/Cambor, sometimes Fate if people are old and remember her

REAL NAME. Sage (yes it’s my real actual on-my-birth-certificate name, if I picked that it’d be obnoxious)

ZODIAC. Gemini

HEIGHT.  5′3"

WHAT TIME IS IT? 11:28 AM

FAVORITE MUSICIANS / GROUPS. Blind Guardian, Dream Theater, Iced Earth, Demons & Wizards, Miracle of Sound, Metallica, Wierd Al, Voltaire, and so on.

FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM. I’m not a big sports person (big shock I’m sure). I am aware of the St. Louis Cardinals when they do exciting things and was public enemy number one at work when I giggled at how badly they were beating the Brewers (I live/work in Wisconsin) to get to the world series a few years back. Even if you don’t do baseball, it was hilarious to watch.

OTHER BLOGS. None; too lazy to make more. I’ve thought about it a couple times but I don’t think I’d keep up with it.

DO I GET ASKS?  I do!

HOW MANY BLOGS DO I FOLLOW?  203, apparently. There were probably more before the purge.

TUMBLR CRUSHES.  I...don’t...understand the question?

LUCKY NUMBER.  Iunno, 12 maybe? I never seem to have much luck with nubmers, 12 is just one I use a lot.

WHAT AM I WEARING RIGHT NOW?  [Company I work for]-branded zip-up sweatshirt that my wife forgot to give back when she stopped being a delivery driver, Old Navy jeans, black tennis shoes that I’m amazed I haven’t ruined yet.

DREAM VACATION.   Aimless wandering across most of western Europe, with special emphasis on Ireland and Scotland. Would also like to see New Zealand. If I ever get over my arachnophobia enough to do it I really want to see Australia.

DREAM CAR.  1974 Corvette Stingray t-top in bright/iridescent purple.

FAVORITE FOOD.  Kraft Mac n’ Cheese (spirals), for crappy food I eat all the time. I will fight a guy for a really good lasagna or lobster, though.

DRINK OF CHOICE.  Surge. I missed it so much from when I was a kid and the gas station right beside my house is one that sells it. I am a happy camper; my teeth are not.

LANGUAGES.  English. I can recall a few tattered remnants of my four years of French in high school, and a random assortment of words and phrases in Spanish, Arabic, and Russian.

INSTRUMENTS. hah I wish. I can sing all right but that’s about it.

CELEBRITY CRUSHES.  Lzzy Hale. Also slowly developing an appreciation for Henry Cavill now that he’s not playing frickin’ bland-ass grimdark Superman.

RANDOM FACT.  I’ve never watched The Princess Bride, even for a few seconds, outside of gifs online. My only exposure has been through those gifs and people referencing it at me in person. It used to just be a thing that I happened to not have done, but as I grow older it’s something I maintain as a sort of internal tradition. It doesn’t help that people’s facial expressions/tones of voice when I say that are usually really funny.

Tagged by: @the-real-arcanist-val

Tagging: If you haven’t and you wanna, clap your hands do it!

[lightsblinded]

Drabble: Charlie Ngata & Maccas.

I started writing this on May 20′th and I just finished it up really quickly but I stan this mother/daughter duo tbh.

Calvin's mother has sent the customary photo to Tess this morning, like she does every year on this day. This year he's leaning over a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cake, grinning like an idiot. His eyes are blue, like Jason's, but his other features are unmistakably Tess. She thinks he even has the same teeth as her, even though she isn't sure that's possible. With the photo comes the text, similar to the one she gets every year. "8 years ago today, you gave us our son-shine. Happy Thank You Day!"

She's just finished up getting a haircut when the message comes, and she sits in the chair staring at the picture. She's never felt like his Mom, even those 20 minutes after giving birth to him when she held him and cried as she quietly told him about his blood family and then the people coming to adopt him. Jessica and Scott. They had treated her like family the moment they met, when she was six months pregnant. She had wanted nothing more than to keep him, be a mom. And every glance at Jason, every angry twitch of his eyelid reminded her why that wasn't possible. Jessica was his mom, and she was a really good one.

There's a tug at her blouse but she doesn't notice at first. She looks up at herself in the mirror. This cut has been the most drastic since she came to New Zealand four years ago. Many years of growing her curly hair out ended by the scissors, its right across her shoulders now, and they've straightened it to last until she washes it in a couple of days. She sees the way the 5 or so years have aged her as she looks at herself. Her early 30s certainly hadn't left her wrinkled like a prune yet, but she can see the effects of time. She wonders how much that will change now, as she heads closer to her 40's. The tug comes again and this time, with it, a whine.

"Mum....meeee. Mummy! Mum!"

Blinking, she looks down at Charlie, two and a half going on 4. Where Cal is mostly Tess with a smidge of Jason, Charlie is a good mix of her and Darius. Wildly curly hair that's just a little closer to Darius' color, his eyes, her lips and nose, her skintone is closer to his and she seems to have a tiny gap between her front teeth so far. Smiling a little, she reaches down to pull the girl up onto her lap.

Stevie was only a few years older when Tess first met them. She's seven now. And she's Tess' greatest joy equal with Charlie. She loves to climb into bed with her and talk, about life, school, her favorite books and tv shows. To run her fingers through her hair and sing softly to her. Stevie doesn't even remember Elle and Tess isn't sure, but she suspects she may not even remember that Tess isn't her mother, at least sometimes. She's fine with that, she wants her to only have good memories of being loved, cared for, wanted.

"What do you think, munchkin? You like mummy's hair?" Charlie regards her a moment, trying to understand how she looks different but also the same. Her chubby little arm reaches out to run fingers down the shorter locks, eyes blinking. She looks like Darius when she thinks. (And when she poops.)

Tess reaches in turn to brush her own fingers across Charlie's hair and the tot beams at her, pressing her palms to her mother's cheeks. "Pretty!" She exclaims, leaning to rub their noses together. Tess grins and leans into her a moment. It's insane to her that she's had a hand in creating these two exquisite creatures. When she had given Cal up she had longed for this connection for so long. Only after meeting Darius and Stevie did she find it in her. Their bond had changed a little with Stevie's shift in interests and such, but it was uniquely them, they evolved together.

She sighs a little and picks her phone back up, angling it to take a picture of them with their faces close together, she sends it to Darius so he can see what she's done and what they've done, smiling as she includes a text. "Thank you for giving me everything I never knew I was missing. Love you, Charlie Bug and Mumface."

Charlie makes a delighted little sound at the picture and sways around happily in her Mum's lap, singing a song she's writing, the only lyrics so far being 'daddy' and the occasional bridge of 'cheeeeeeeeeeee'. Once the message is sent, Tess sticks her phone in her bag and stands with her arm moving Charlie onto her hip. She pays, gets her a lolly after she spots them on the counter (thus spawning a chorus of 'lolly') and heads out to the car.

Once Charlie is buckled in to her seat and she's got the car started, Tess glances at her in the mirror. "What do you think we should have for dinner Charlie Bug?"

She claps her little hands together and rubs. "Maccas!!"

Tess scoffs. "You're starting to sound like your sister. Mum's cooking. What do you want that Mum makes?"

Charlie makes a stink face at her in the mirror. "Mac-cas! Mummy!!! Maaaccaaaaaas!!!"

There's a heavy sigh from the front seat, and Charlie's grin creeps towards satisfaction. Tess turns in the seat to look directly at her. "I will get you and Stevie donut balls, but you have to eat Mum's dinner before you can have them."

Charlie crosses her arms over her chest and pulls her very best (and heavily practiced) Darius Face of Disapproval. "No donut balls! Chicken Cheese!!!" A tiny hand raises to adjust invisible glasses on the bridge of her nose, and Tess has to fight off a smile.

"Oh you, you need to stop being cute acting like your daddy." Tess sighs again, sinking a little in her seat. "Fine. We'll get Maccas tonight. But that means no donut balls and Fanta float this week."

Charlie doesn't care, or more likely, comprehend what that means. She throws her arms out and wiggles delightedly in her seat. "Yaaaay!! Chicken cheese!!!" To think a toddler could be so excited over a McChicken with a slice of Kraft on it. She sighs a little as she looks at her in the mirror, her heart weak with love for this little creature. Pride knowing how happy and healthy she has grown to be.

She starts the car, but doesn’t shift into reverse yet, shifting to lean back and gently tug on her little ankle, smiling when Charlie gives her a perplexed little face. “Mummy loves you, Charlie.”

The girl immediately breaks into a grin, her tiny teeth shining in the sun as she proudly lifts her chin. “I love you, Mummy! Let’s go get some CHICKEN CHEESE!”

[gracewithducks]

It’s Complicated: Faith and the in-between (Luke 24:44-53)

Mother’s Day isn’t the same when you’re a pastor. My kids already know that mom works on Mother’s Day, and messing with our Sunday morning routine isn’t going to earn them any favors. So instead of Mother’s Day, they’ve been celebrating Mother’s Week: we started with donuts last weekend, and continued through the week with extra hugs, with handmade gifts, reading books to me, showing love through interpretive dance and original songs, praising my cooking – apparently I’m especially gifted with mashed potatoes and Kraft mac-and-cheese… and all those praises and expressions of love have been peppered with constant fighting, two little girls turning everything into a competition, a helpful attempt to share macaroni and cheese with the potted plants, throwing angry cats on my lap, mixing cat food with milk and water, painting the walls with hand soap, “forgetting” that brushing your teeth is a thing we do, and refusing to use the bathroom without a hand to hold.

��Motherhood is special in all kinds of strange ways.

 Even before I became a mother, I’ve had something of an ambivalent attitude towards Mother’s Day. I love my mom, don’t get me wrong, and I sure hope she knows that. I grew up in a church that tried to include not just mothers but all women in its Mother’s Day celebrations – which means as a little girl I looked forward, every year, to getting a carnation of my very own.

 And then I got older. And I started to realize that life is a lot more complicated than it seems. There were years when I wasn’t sure if I would ever be a mother – and quite frankly, plenty of days since becoming a mother when I’ve wondered if I’m really cut out for the job. I’ve walked with friends through infertility, and miscarriage, and failed adoptions, and difficult decisions… I’ve walked with children of all ages with the loss of their mothers; I’ve walked with mothers through the loss of their children. And I’ve come to love families of so many different shapes and sizes, and come to realize that much like parenting itself, life is much more complicated than it ever used to seem.

 It’s exhausting, it’s painful, it’s stressful, it’s frustrating, it’s wonderful – and it’s also funny how, as kids, we think a donut and a carnation once a year is enough to say “thank you.”

 One of the hardest and strangest Mother’s Days in my own life came in our in-between year: it was the first Mother’s Day since the death of my son, but it also came just a couple of weeks after announcing I was pregnant with our daughter. And if I’m being honest, if I wasn’t a pastor, I probably would have just stayed home all day. But I didn’t have that choice… and people weren’t quite sure what to say or how to act around me. They tended to focus on the joy I must be feeling, knowing I would be a mother once again, rather than acknowledge the fear that accompanied that pregnancy, and the grief that weighted heavy on our home. Hope and fear, joy and grief, mingled together – that’s parenting, but also, that’s life.

 And it’s Mother’s Day again. I’ve always been ambivalent about this day. This year is no exception. I don’t know how many of you follow the United Methodist News Service – or if you even know that that’s a thing, but it is. A little more than a week ago, our Council of Bishops met to consider recommendations on how the church might move forward while we are so divided over issues of gender and sexuality, when we can’t agree on the question of who God welcomes, and who can love whom, and what a family looks like. And just this week, the same Council of Bishops received and counted votes taken by conferences all over the world on several amendments to our church’s constitution – again, that’s a thing. Two of those amendments dealt with adding affirmations around gender and equality. The first proclaims that “men and women are of equal value in the eyes of God” and promises that the United Methodist Church will “seek to eliminate discrimination against women and girls… in every facet of its life and in society at large.” The second amendment adds gender, ability, age and marital status to the list of characteristics that can’t keep anyone from church membership – in addition to race, color, national origin or economic condition, all of which are already named and protected.

 And this week we learned that both of those amendments failed to pass.

 I am so very tired of our denomination breaking my heart. And yes, some of you United Methodist news followers will know that the first amendment, at least, will be voted on again, due to an editing mistake… and maybe this time things will be different. But I sat through those debates a year ago, and I was shocked, appalled, at the fear and prejudice that were displayed – by our own colleagues and neighbors and friends. So many people who proclaim and claim to love Christ and to love their neighbors are nevertheless willing to speak hatred and pass condemnation and turn those same neighbors – especially the most vulnerable ones – to break them and turn they away.

 And now it’s Mother’s Day. While our church still tries to define what families can look like, while we failed to affirm that gender or ability or marital status doesn’t limit or define us… now we have the nerve to observe Mother’s Day, that day we set apart of parade and celebrate a certain set of women, women we lift up as models for Christian womanhood: those who’ve managed to reproduce. And I have to wonder, as much as I love my own mother, as much as I am humbled and challenged by being a mother – that’s not all that I am; is that all that women are ever going to be allowed to be?

 This week, many of my colleagues have challenged us to imagine our churches without the leadership and gifts of women. Without a woman’s faith, there would have been no incarnation. Without a woman’s boldness, the news of the resurrection would not have been shared. Right here at this church, without women, we’d lose most of our staff members – including both of our pastors. The chair of church council, and many other committee chairs, our lay leader, our members of Annual Conference, our lay servants, our Sunday school teachers, would be gone; more than half of our committee members, more than half of our members, period, would be silenced, all those gifts and voices and contributions lost.

 And I know that, by God’s grace, that’s not the case. I know that our ministries, our welcome, our affirmation didn’t change and wasn’t limited by any news statements released this week. And whenever we start talking about questions like this, inevitably someone raises the point that we shouldn’t have to take votes and amend official documents to affirm that women are people, and that our girls are gifts from God every bit as precious and powerful as our boys. We shouldn’t have to define or delineate by gender at all. I agree. We shouldn’t have to. But we do. The fact that those very statements keep failing – that’s exactly why we need to make them. Right here in our conference, there are still many United Methodist Churches here in Michigan that won’t accept a female pastor in their pulpit. And we live in a world where women are still paid less for doing the same work; where most of the power is held in the hands of men; where girls don’t get the same education and opportunities as boys. We live in a world where women bear the burden of unplanned pregnancies they had help in creating; where mothers are praised but a mother’s health, and the health of her children, are ignored, and women’s pain is not taken as seriously as men’s. We live in a world where girls grow up faster because they have to, where “boys will be boys” but “she was asking for it.” We live in a world where “you run like a girl” is still a devastating insult – even if you are one. We live in a world where my eight-year-old daughter can’t wear a sleeveless top to school because her body might be a distraction to the second grade boys around her. She’s already learning that she’s expected to take responsibility for someone else’s actions, and their education is more important than her own.

 It takes a lot of nerve for us to celebrate mothers on a day when immigration officials are separating families, when refugee mothers risk everything for their children’s future, where many mothers are starving themselves so their children can eat, and finding their sacrifice is still not enough.

 We can’t say we love mothers unless we fight to help women, to care for children, to protect and advocate for the programs that feed and clothe and house and heal so many of our most vulnerable members. Mother’s Day needs to be so much bigger than brunch.

 We shouldn’t have to say that women are people. There are a lot of things we shouldn’t have to say. But sometimes, we need to say them, anyway.

 So this is what needs saying today: God loves you. God loves you, no matter whether, when you were born, they dressed you in pink or draped you in blue. God loves you, no matter what pronouns describe you now. God loves you, no matter who you fall in love with, or how many times your heart’s been broken, or if you never fall in love at all. God loves you if you’re married, divorced, widowed, single – and if it’s complicated, God loves your complicated life; God loves complicated you.

 God loves you if you’re a parent who gave birth, or who adopted, or who fosters, if you stay at home, if you go to work, if have no choice but you do what you have to do to make it through. God loves you if your mother loves you, and even if she doesn’t, God still does. God loves you whether you’re a parent whose children adore you or whose children slam the doors and curse your name or whose children won’t return your calls at all. God loves you if you’ve struggled with infertility, if you’ve carried a child you never held, if you gave up a child for adoption, if you ended a pregnancy, if you’ve never been pregnant at all.

 God loves you if you’ve buried your mother. God loves you if you’ve buried your child. God loves you if you’re not sure who will bury you when your time comes.

 I hope you will hear me today: love is stronger than death, and love transcends the limits and labels we use, and love surprises us again and again. There is more than one way to create life in the world. There is more than one way to give love, and more than one way to receive it, and I hope that, by God’s grace, you’ve know a lot of love, and you’ll know a lot more.

 Today is Mother’s Day. And it always behooves us to remember that the tradition of Mother’s Day is much bigger than flowers and breakfast in bed. The roots of this day are found with women who decided to use what power they had to make the world a better place. It begins with Ann Jarvis, organizing Appalachian mothers to work to improve sanitation, to help keep their families and neighbors from dying from diseases carried by insects and polluted water. It begins with Julia Ward Howe, organizing mothers who yearn for peace after watching too many of their children march off to war. It continues with Ann Jarvis’ daughter, Anna, who wanted to honor her mother and honor all the ways that women continue to work to reshape the world. Today is for all those women who’ve learned the hard way that new life only comes through struggle and pain – and though it feels like it will tear you apart, the struggle is worth it when that new life enters in.

 Today is Mother’s Day. But in the church, today is Ascension Sunday – the day when we remember how, forty days after Easter, ten days before Pentecost, Jesus ascended into heaven. And it’s an ambivalent and complicated sort of day, too. Today we revisit the story of Jesus’ broken and resurrected body taking its place in glory… and there is joy as Jesus is lifted up, as he’s exalted, there is gratitude for his presence and all that’s been shared – and there is grief because he’s leaving, and something beautiful is ending, and no one really knows what happens next. The disciples enter into an uncertain season of in-between: Christ has risen, Christ will come again… but not yet. He’s gone, and he promises to send the Holy Spirit… but he Spirit hasn’t come quite yet.

 This is where most of our life, where most of our faith, takes place: in the in-between. And what does it look like, to praise God in the in-between? In the days when it’s complicated, when we’re ambivalent and torn? When joy and grief come hand in hand? Somewhere in between the dream and its fulfillment, between the sorrow and the reunion? What does it mean to keep the faith when love and loss flow mingled down? When the promises have yet to be fulfilled, and the story isn’t over yet?

 What does it look like to praise God when the scars are still fresh and there is still so much left undone?

 That’s where we live – in the in between. And it takes faith to believe we’re being blessed even when God seems further and further away. It takes faith to keep going when you just want to walk away. And it takes faith to keep praising God in the meantime when we can’t see God, can’t hear God, when we don’t know what happens next. All we have is the promise that we will not be abandoned or forsaken. Before leaving, Jesus promises, “I will not leave you orphaned,” so we hold onto faith that good-bye is not the end.

 In other versions of the ascension, the disciples are left staring, confused, gaping into heaven. But I love this telling from Luke’s gospel, because as Jesus goes, he offers blessing upon blessing – and the disciples go to wait, praising him,

full of faith for the in between.

 Motherhood has broken my heart. The church has broken my heart. But I’m still here. And I’m not giving up. I still have faith. I believe the story isn’t over yet.

 As we live in our own in between, may we be full of praises and full of faith

 May we keep saying the things that shouldn’t need to be said, because someone needs to hear them. May we keep doing the work that we thought was over years ago.

 Flowers fade – but faith, hope, and love remain. And in the end, love wins.

  Oh God, we struggle today – as we give thanks for the love we’ve seen and known in our own lives, as we give thanks for the love that we’ve given and received… and as we are reminded that there are still so many places and so many ways that hatred and injustice seem to be winning. Help us to have faith, as we live in these complicated and ambivalent days; help us to believe that you bless us, even in the in-betweens, and help us to have enough faith to keep praising you – and by your grace, by your power, to keep faithfully working for new beginnings and new life to enter in. In Christ’s name we pray; amen.

[nancygduarteus]

How Scared Should I Be of Macaroni and Cheese?

Asking for a Friend,

Being a first-time father to a 1.5-year-old child means addressing unexpected questions from the first-time grandparents of a 1.5-year-old child. My father sent my wife and me a somewhat guilty-sounding email about the latest New York Times scare piece on the topic of mac and cheese, a foodstuff he presents to my son when he visits their home each week ... I would love your take.

Jacob

I’m glad you asked. A few other people were curious about this, too. Actually more than a few others. Since that Times story came out earlier this month, most of my time has been spent asking and answering questions about either John McCain or powdered cheese.

Which is fine, that’s the idea of a column like this. Though the stakes feel different here. People are less curious than genuinely, eyelid-spasming scared. The terror-intro of the July article: “Potentially harmful chemicals that were banned from children’s teething rings and rubber duck toys a decade ago may still be present in high concentrations in your child’s favorite meal: macaroni and cheese mixes made with powdered cheese.”

All of these words are true. Except—except—for the word high. Arguably the most important word. The words are also misleading, and potentially more dangerous than the macaroni powder they describe.

“A new study of 30 cheese products has detected phthalates in all but one of the samples tested,” the story continues, explaining that phthalates are chemicals that “can disrupt male hormones like testosterone and have been linked to genital birth defects in infant boys and learning and behavior problems in older children.”

According to the group that distributed the report, nine of the products tested were of the Kraft variety, eight of which contained phthalates.

Katie Martin / The Atlantic

I was scared too, as an occasional non-child consumer. Some nights I justify it in that it’s cheap and fast, and I make it with olive oil instead of butter, which Kraft purists will say is sacrilegious. I know it’s not substantially healthier that way, but we tell ourselves stories to get by.

Of course the darker part of me knows I eat it because I want to eat it, because of the sodium and the white pasta-starch that becomes sugar in my veins, and also because of the nostalgic comfort in the ritual of making and eating it. Those blue and yellow boxes signified the food of my Midwestern childhood. I am not alone in this. Every year Kraft alone sells something like 300 million boxes of their signature product. The gas stations that dot rural America define their grocery sections by its presence. Expect to find Campbell’s soup, graham crackers, probably marshmallows, and Kraft macaroni and cheese.

So it’s big news when the paper of record tells us this is toxic. Especially that it’s toxic to kids, and to pregnant women, and that the powdered cheese may affect sexualization of fetuses in a way that might even hypothetically account for what some people say is a feminized generation of American males. And not just Kraft but “many common brands.” The only other common brand is Annie’s, but it remains undisclosed whether Annie’s products were tested.

I’ll give you the nut here in case you don’t want to read all 2,000 words on powdered cheese. Phthalates are probably a problem in our food system, but macaroni and cheese is not a unique problem, and if it’s one of the few highly processed foods that you eat, risk of phthalate toxicity is as close to zero as possible.

Some research has found that high phthalate exposure can have negative health effects—for example, some people with high levels in their bodies have increased rates of hypertension and insulin resistance—but never has a case of phthalate toxicity been linked specifically to eating macaroni and cheese.

The mac-and-cheese analysis described in the Times story looked for phthalates in processed cheeses, and it found them. It reported absolute levels—e.g. 940 micrograms of phthalates per kilogram of powdered cheese. What does that mean? How much of it stays in my body? How much macaroni would I have to eat to put myself at risk? Even though these questions are unaddressed, the conclusion of the report makes a huge leap: “Action should be taken to eliminate phthalates in any food products.”

This was not a study of the value of action, nor was it a study of the health significance of phthalates in macaroni and cheese. It was only a study that tells us how many micrograms of phthalates are in a kilogram of various forms of powdered cheese. (One definitive thing I can recommend, never eat a kilogram of powdered cheese.)

The central tenet of toxicology is “the dose makes the poison”—meaning that even water is toxic in high enough quantities, and in small enough amounts cyanide is inconsequential. No earnest analysis of a suspiciously toxic product would stop at giving values of a toxic substance without studying what that value means for human health.

So the role of macaroni and cheese in the phthalate problem is sort of like the role of a particular type of chair in the problem of people living sedentary lifestyles.

Katie Martin / The Atlantic

All of that said, many experts agree that phthlates are a problem in the food system as a whole.

“Phthalates are a class of chemicals about which I am quite concerned,” said Phil Landrigan, dean for global health and a professor of environmental medicine at Mount Sinai School of Medicine. “They are extremely widespread in American society, and processed food is a major route of exposure.” Those routes used to involve plastic in toys and household products, where phthalates have since been banned.

They are also not allowed as an ingredient in food—and there would be no plausible reason to add them to food purposely, outside of some sort of super-villain plot—but they make their way into foods during processing, leaching from plastic tubes. This means the amounts in any given food are very tiny. The concern is the cumulative effect for people who eat processed foods constantly. The people shopping in gas stations, and elsewhere in food deserts. And most other places.

Paul Blanc, professor of medicine and chair of occupational and environmental medicine at the University of California, San Francisco, agreed with this appraisal. I sent him the Times article and he wrote of the lab analysis, “It would seem the best advice is to follow the fat.” That is, if you’re looking for phthalates, they tend to be found in higher levels in higher-fat foods.

But this study is not evidence that people should turn against fat again, unless we want to relive the 1990s. Well, actually, even if we did, the message is not that fat is toxic. If anything, the clear risk to human health posed by macaroni and cheese is that it is primarily low-nutrient, low-fiber white flour, as is so much of the American food system. Eating a diet of largely white flour is clearly associated with metabolic disease, the basis of many leading causes of death.

Based on epidemiological studies, Landrigan’s area of expertise, he does believe that eating a lot of high-phthalates foods during pregnancy can interfere with masculinization in male fetuses. “In utero,” he added, “exposure is associated also with behavioral anomalies in children that resemble autism.” Other researchers have questioned the strength of this association, and whether the levels present in most diets pose any actual risk. All agree, though, insofar as there is a problem with phthalates, it’s much bigger than macaroni and cheese.

It’s bigger even than processed food, because phthalates can come to us via cosmetics and other products with which we may be in regular contact. “In every industry,” said Landrigan, “prevention of exposure and minimization of the use of phthalates in consumer products is the way to go.”

“And, if you like to give practical advice, advise your readers not to microwave their food in plastic. Because microwaving drives phthalates out of the container and into the food.”

Katie Martin / The Atlantic

This isn’t really a column for practical advice. It’s about assessing risk and exploring processes. Speaking of which, the critical thing to consider here might actually be how this story came about. How did it get in front of so many concerned parents, and parents-to-be, and general hypochondriacs, before it ever even made it to a peer-reviewed scientific journal?

That was the most interesting part of this story to me, and it actually starts before the cheese analysis was published, with the very first email I received about it, more than three weeks ago. That came from a publicist asking me to please write about the dangers of macaroni and cheese.

I ignored the publicist’s pitch because the email started by mentioning National Macaroni and Cheese Day, which my belief system does not recognize as a holiday. It was followed by two more emails, from the same publicist, asking me again to write about the dangers of macaroni and cheese. Someone at the Times apparently did not ignore the publicist, and the paper ran with “The Chemicals in Your Mac and Cheese.”

The publicist’s emails offered that she could put me in touch with Mike Belliveau, executive director of the Environmental Health Strategy Center (one of four advocacy groups that funded the analysis) to comment. Belliveau told The Times: “Our belief is that it’s in every mac ‘n’ cheese product—you can’t shop your way out of the problem.”

He did not mention Kraft by name in the Times piece, though the Environmental Health Strategy Center’s efforts to reform Kraft predate this story. The group runs a site called Kleanupkraft.org, where this new analysis is published. Visitors to the site are greeted by the image of a pregnant woman and warned, “Scientists agree that phthalates threaten children’s health.” The page then offers a link to “See our cheese test results.”

Publication on this site is different from publication in an academic journal, in a few ways, and it is different even from publication by an outlet that purports to seek objective truth. This is the site of an organization that explicitly intends to get certain chemicals out of macaroni and cheese. Kraft did not respond to a request for comment.

I eventually did speak with Belliveau, too, and he was clear about the genesis of this project: “We’ve been in conversation with half a dozen major food manufacturers over the last six months about this problem, and we find they have very low awareness, and very, very little data. And very little motivation to do anything. So as part of that process, we decided to develop some of our own data. And so we embarked upon this testing project.”

Which is to say this was an act of fact-based advocacy, as opposed to science, a distinction worth considering. It also informed why he didn’t go the route of trying to publish the findings in a peer-reviewed scientific journal.

“We looked at scientific papers on phthalates, and we saw that the industry just ignored them,” Belliveau said, “and the FDA just sat on them. So we said, you know what, we need to get our data out there, and to communicate directly with the public about what it means.”

And what does it mean?

“It means that some pregnant women and children are getting too many phthalates. And it’s coming from a lot of different products—this isn’t about any one single product.” So, he says, the real practical takeaway is the long-standing advice: “Try to minimize consumption of highly processed food in favor of, you know, fresher and more wholesome ingredients.”

An analysis conducted with the express purpose of justifying a cause means bias, which is evident in the reporting of the results, which omit practical analysis of the levels of phthalates in the cheeses. And yet the choice was made to analyze and warn against macaroni and cheese—a product that would resonate with pregnant people and parents with young children. This was a scare-based publicity move undertaken with apparently noble intentions, to raise awareness for what the advocacy group deems to be a dire cause. It worked. It also caused undue concern and regret.

If I could end this answer with a question to you, it would be, do you think this sort of approach is justifiable? Is this kind of stunt a necessary means to call attention to an issue that has gone largely ignored for decades? Or does it do more harm by undermining the idea of science and the public’s trust in the process, if readers start to assume that studies are simply means of gathering data to justify a pre-existing agenda? Asking for a friend.

Have a health question, “for a friend?” Please email AskJim@TheAtlantic.com.

from Health News And Updates https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/07/my-dad-is-now-scared-of-macaroni-and-cheese-should-he-be/534702/?utm_source=feed

[ionecoffman]

How Scared Should I Be of Macaroni and Cheese?

Asking for a Friend,

Being a first-time father to a 1.5-year-old child means addressing unexpected questions from the first-time grandparents of a 1.5-year-old child. My father sent my wife and me a somewhat guilty-sounding email about the latest New York Times scare piece on the topic of mac and cheese, a foodstuff he presents to my son when he visits their home each week ... I would love your take.

Jacob

I’m glad you asked. A few other people were curious about this, too. Actually more than a few others. Since that Times story came out earlier this month, most of my time has been spent asking and answering questions about either John McCain or powdered cheese.

Which is fine, that’s the idea of a column like this. Though the stakes feel different here. People are less curious than genuinely, eyelid-spasming scared. The terror-intro of the July article: “Potentially harmful chemicals that were banned from children’s teething rings and rubber duck toys a decade ago may still be present in high concentrations in your child’s favorite meal: macaroni and cheese mixes made with powdered cheese.”

All of these words are true. Except—except—for the word high. Arguably the most important word. The words are also misleading, and potentially more dangerous than the macaroni powder they describe.

“A new study of 30 cheese products has detected phthalates in all but one of the samples tested,” the story continues, explaining that phthalates are chemicals that “can disrupt male hormones like testosterone and have been linked to genital birth defects in infant boys and learning and behavior problems in older children.”

According to the group that distributed the report, nine of the products tested were of the Kraft variety, eight of which contained phthalates.

Katie Martin / The Atlantic

I was scared too, as an occasional non-child consumer. Some nights I justify it in that it’s cheap and fast, and I make it with olive oil instead of butter, which Kraft purists will say is sacrilegious. I know it’s not substantially healthier that way, but we tell ourselves stories to get by.

Of course the darker part of me knows I eat it because I want to eat it, because of the sodium and the white pasta-starch that becomes sugar in my veins, and also because of the nostalgic comfort in the ritual of making and eating it. Those blue and yellow boxes signified the food of my Midwestern childhood. I am not alone in this. Every year Kraft alone sells something like 300 million boxes of their signature product. The gas stations that dot rural America define their grocery sections by its presence. Expect to find Campbell’s soup, graham crackers, probably marshmallows, and Kraft macaroni and cheese.

So it’s big news when the paper of record tells us this is toxic. Especially that it’s toxic to kids, and to pregnant women, and that the powdered cheese may affect sexualization of fetuses in a way that might even hypothetically account for what some people say is a feminized generation of American males. And not just Kraft but “many common brands.” The only other common brand is Annie’s, but it remains undisclosed whether Annie’s products were tested.

I’ll give you the nut here in case you don’t want to read all 2,000 words on powdered cheese. Phthalates are probably a problem in our food system, but macaroni and cheese is not a unique problem, and if it’s one of the few highly processed foods that you eat, risk of phthalate toxicity is as close to zero as possible.

Some research has found that high phthalate exposure can have negative health effects—for example, some people with high levels in their bodies have increased rates of hypertension and insulin resistance—but never has a case of phthalate toxicity been linked specifically to eating macaroni and cheese.

The mac-and-cheese analysis described in the Times story looked for phthalates in processed cheeses, and it found them. It reported absolute levels—e.g. 940 micrograms of phthalates per kilogram of powdered cheese. What does that mean? How much of it stays in my body? How much macaroni would I have to eat to put myself at risk? Even though these questions are unaddressed, the conclusion of the report makes a huge leap: “Action should be taken to eliminate phthalates in any food products.”

This was not a study of the value of action, nor was it a study of the health significance of phthalates in macaroni and cheese. It was only a study that tells us how many micrograms of phthalates are in a kilogram of various forms of powdered cheese. (One definitive thing I can recommend, never eat a kilogram of powdered cheese.)

The central tenet of toxicology is “the dose makes the poison”—meaning that even water is toxic in high enough quantities, and in small enough amounts cyanide is inconsequential. No earnest analysis of a suspiciously toxic product would stop at giving values of a toxic substance without studying what that value means for human health.

So the role of macaroni and cheese in the phthalate problem is sort of like the role of a particular type of chair in the problem of people living sedentary lifestyles.

Katie Martin / The Atlantic

All of that said, many experts agree that phthlates are a problem in the food system as a whole.

“Phthalates are a class of chemicals about which I am quite concerned,” said Phil Landrigan, dean for global health and a professor of environmental medicine at Mount Sinai School of Medicine. “They are extremely widespread in American society, and processed food is a major route of exposure.” Those routes used to involve plastic in toys and household products, where phthalates have since been banned.

They are also not allowed as an ingredient in food—and there would be no plausible reason to add them to food purposely, outside of some sort of super-villain plot—but they make their way into foods during processing, leaching from plastic tubes. This means the amounts in any given food are very tiny. The concern is the cumulative effect for people who eat processed foods constantly. The people shopping in gas stations, and elsewhere in food deserts. And most other places.

Paul Blanc, professor of medicine and chair of occupational and environmental medicine at the University of California, San Francisco, agreed with this appraisal. I sent him the Times article and he wrote of the lab analysis, “It would seem the best advice is to follow the fat.” That is, if you’re looking for phthalates, they tend to be found in higher levels in higher-fat foods.

But this study is not evidence that people should turn against fat again, unless we want to relive the 1990s. Well, actually, even if we did, the message is not that fat is toxic. If anything, the clear risk to human health posed by macaroni and cheese is that it is primarily low-nutrient, low-fiber white flour, as is so much of the American food system. Eating a diet of largely white flour is clearly associated with metabolic disease, the basis of many leading causes of death.

Based on epidemiological studies, Landrigan’s area of expertise, he does believe that eating a lot of high-phthalates foods during pregnancy can interfere with masculinization in male fetuses. “In utero,” he added, “exposure is associated also with behavioral anomalies in children that resemble autism.” Other researchers have questioned the strength of this association, and whether the levels present in most diets pose any actual risk. All agree, though, insofar as there is a problem with phthalates, it’s much bigger than macaroni and cheese.

It’s bigger even than processed food, because phthalates can come to us via cosmetics and other products with which we may be in regular contact. “In every industry,” said Landrigan, “prevention of exposure and minimization of the use of phthalates in consumer products is the way to go.”

“And, if you like to give practical advice, advise your readers not to microwave their food in plastic. Because microwaving drives phthalates out of the container and into the food.”

Katie Martin / The Atlantic

This isn’t really a column for practical advice. It’s about assessing risk and exploring processes. Speaking of which, the critical thing to consider here might actually be how this story came about. How did it get in front of so many concerned parents, and parents-to-be, and general hypochondriacs, before it ever even made it to a peer-reviewed scientific journal?

That was the most interesting part of this story to me, and it actually starts before the cheese analysis was published, with the very first email I received about it, more than three weeks ago. That came from a publicist asking me to please write about the dangers of macaroni and cheese.

I ignored the publicist’s pitch because the email started by mentioning National Macaroni and Cheese Day, which my belief system does not recognize as a holiday. It was followed by two more emails, from the same publicist, asking me again to write about the dangers of macaroni and cheese. Someone at the Times apparently did not ignore the publicist, and the paper ran with “The Chemicals in Your Mac and Cheese.”

The publicist’s emails offered that she could put me in touch with Mike Belliveau, executive director of the Environmental Health Strategy Center (one of four advocacy groups that funded the analysis) to comment. Belliveau told The Times: “Our belief is that it’s in every mac ‘n’ cheese product—you can’t shop your way out of the problem.”

He did not mention Kraft by name in the Times piece, though the Environmental Health Strategy Center’s efforts to reform Kraft predate this story. The group runs a site called Kleanupkraft.org, where this new analysis is published. Visitors to the site are greeted by the image of a pregnant woman and warned, “Scientists agree that phthalates threaten children’s health.” The page then offers a link to “See our cheese test results.”

Publication on this site is different from publication in an academic journal, in a few ways, and it is different even from publication by an outlet that purports to seek objective truth. This is the site of an organization that explicitly intends to get certain chemicals out of macaroni and cheese. Kraft did not respond to a request for comment.

I eventually did speak with Belliveau, too, and he was clear about the genesis of this project: “We’ve been in conversation with half a dozen major food manufacturers over the last six months about this problem, and we find they have very low awareness, and very, very little data. And very little motivation to do anything. So as part of that process, we decided to develop some of our own data. And so we embarked upon this testing project.”

Which is to say this was an act of fact-based advocacy, as opposed to science, a distinction worth considering. It also informed why he didn’t go the route of trying to publish the findings in a peer-reviewed scientific journal.

“We looked at scientific papers on phthalates, and we saw that the industry just ignored them,” Belliveau said, “and the FDA just sat on them. So we said, you know what, we need to get our data out there, and to communicate directly with the public about what it means.”

And what does it mean?

“It means that some pregnant women and children are getting too many phthalates. And it’s coming from a lot of different products—this isn’t about any one single product.” So, he says, the real practical takeaway is the long-standing advice: “Try to minimize consumption of highly processed food in favor of, you know, fresher and more wholesome ingredients.”

An analysis conducted with the express purpose of justifying a cause means bias, which is evident in the reporting of the results, which omit practical analysis of the levels of phthalates in the cheeses. And yet the choice was made to analyze and warn against macaroni and cheese—a product that would resonate with pregnant people and parents with young children. This was a scare-based publicity move undertaken with apparently noble intentions, to raise awareness for what the advocacy group deems to be a dire cause. It worked. It also caused undue concern and regret.

If I could end this answer with a question to you, it would be, do you think this sort of approach is justifiable? Is this kind of stunt a necessary means to call attention to an issue that has gone largely ignored for decades? Or does it do more harm by undermining the idea of science and the public’s trust in the process, if readers start to assume that studies are simply means of gathering data to justify a pre-existing agenda? Asking for a friend.

Have a health question, “for a friend?” Please email AskJim@TheAtlantic.com.

Article source here:The Atlantic