#ate it straight from the pot

[daveys-tired]

medieval british man eats kraft macaroni and cheese 2023 colourised

[thebibliosphere]

From what I've seen, I think the Batkids would like your book.

Hunger Pangs? You flatter me.

But also, yes thank you for this particular strain on self-indulgent brain rot. I am going to be absolutely abnormal about this.

I’d like to imagine Dick picks it up at an airport somewhere on his way back from a trip and becomes hooked on the “clever, pretty, jumps-from balconies-for-the-thrill-of-the-fall vampire and goes, “oh, same.”

The fact that it’s got a rugged, soldiery werewolf with a heart of gold who enforces self-care as a form of kink-play is also doing stuff to his brain. (That’s a thing? He can… he can ask someone for that? Who does he ask for that? It’s been weeks since he slept more than a few hours and ate more than cereal for dinner. Seriously, who does he ask? How much is it? He’s got money. He’ll pay.) The uh, the need for validation and the budding praise kink is also hitting a little too close to home.

As is “all powerful witch with the power to pick you up with her mind and throw you around like a rag doll.” (LiStEN, he spent a large chunk of his formative years surrounded by tight spandex suits, villains with sexy mind control pollen and getting kidnapped and tied up every other week. It’s not his fault he’s Like This.)

He’s not mad about it, though.

*

Babs catches him re-reading it during downtime. She’s not even that interested, more asking what it is to be polite, but the way Dick jumps and turns red, like he didn’t even realize she was in the room is… intriguing.

“I can see why you like it,” she says, several days later, casually drinking her coffee while Dick stares straight ahead, willing the floor to open up and swallow him whole. “Magic, politics. Saving the world from certain doom with the power of knowledge and ecological preservation.” She glances sideways at him. “Vlad’s got some interesting quirks.”

“Shut up.”

“Are we sure you’ve not been compromised?”

“Babs, I mean it.”

“Mean what?” Tim appears in the kitchen as though from nowhere, pouring a red bull into the coffee pot.

No one tries to stop him.

“Dick’s reading a new book,” Babs says, ignoring the murderous look Dick sends her way.

“Oh? What book? Is it any good?”

“Uh, yeah, uh.” Dick rubs at the back of his neck, glaring daggers at Babs as she rolls out of the room, cackling. “It’s uh, romance. Kind of silly actually…”

“Oh?”

Dick nods. “It’s got a vampire and a werewolf. Two guys. And a… well she’s just sort of magic. They break into a library to save the world from ecological disaster. They’re all bi. Together. Or they will be in the next book. This one’s more about the vampire and the werewolf getting together. Um...”

Tim’s gone very still in the way he does when his brain has caught hold of something and he’s absolutely about to let it consume him. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” Dick shrugs. “It’s got some kink in it,” he warns, not wanting to expose his younger brother to something he’s not ready for. Which is ludicrous because he’s Robin. And from the way Tim’s not drinking his ‘coffee’ he can tell this is only going to go one way no matter what he says. He brightens, remembering something. “But there’s, like, a non smutty version too? Or a less smutty version, I guess? I don’t know, I haven’t read it yet. I could, we could go to the bookstore, maybe stop at the art store too…”

“I’ll meet you in the car.”

*

“So,” Jason says, and Dick can already tell where this is going by the shit-eating grin on his face. “Vampires, huh? Or is it more the werewolves you’re into?”

“Who told you?” Dick bemoans. “Was it Babs?” He bets it was Babs. Fucking Babs.

“Oh, no one told me anything Boy Wonder. Tim found out the author has a go-fund-me for some medical shit that exceeded his monthly allowance and he’s been harassing Bruce to “fix it” for several days now. He’s down in the cave making a nuisance of himself right now. Apparently he quote “needs more of the bisexual monster books Dick told him about” unquote, and the author can’t do shit if she up and fucking dies because this country’s a fucking for-profit shit hole.”

Dick places his head in his hands. “Oh, God. Is Bruce mad? He’s mad, isn’t he?”

Jason shrugs. “Couldn’t tell you. Last I heard, Tim was playing him the audiobook over the bat computer to make his case.”

Dick let’s his head thump against the table. This is it. This is his villain origin story. He’s going to run away and join the Rogues. Or maybe he’ll go back to the Circus. Either option is better than the idea of having to meet Bruce’s eye later over the dinner table.

“Personally, I thought the plot was a little weak but the characters are compelling,” Jason says, sipping his herbal tea. “I liked the chill necromancer doctor. I feel like he’d be able to fix me.”

[averagelivingbeings]

Hot steamy broth

Bottom afab Jiaoqiu/Top amab Reader

You and Jiaoqiu first indulge in an aphrodisiac-laced stew he cooked up, before enjoying each other’s bodies.

Word Count: 3270

Tags: Afab Jiaoqiu, possibly ooc Jiaoqiu, xianxia AU, Jiaoqiu is your disciple and cook, Jiaoqiu is a little bitch, aphrodisiac, vaginal sex, multiple orgasms, size difference, lots of fluids, light dom/sub, so much teasing, cunnilingulus, blow jobs, squirting, belly bulge

AFAB language used for Jiaoqiu

——————————————

“Ah, you’re here, master.” The pink-haired Huli Jing greeted you with a polite smile. In front of him, a savoury, creamy brew was boiling and bubbling gently in its metal pot over the flame. “Apologies, the soup isn’t finished yet.”

You gave him a polite nod, as you sat down at the table and straightened your robe. “Don’t worry about it, A-Qiu.” His tail raised up and swished happily at the pet-name. “What are we having tonight?”

“A creamy stew with coconut milk and bamboo strips.” Jiaoqiu paused, as he reached for something on the spice shelf, his hand hovering above a vial with a pink powder. His ears twitched in what you recognised as giddy anticipation. “… I wasn’t sure about your mood tonight, master, so I didn’t put anything in yet.”

You blinked at him, keeping your face and posture straight, as if he was just a child that thought its plan to trick its parents was exceptionally smart. “I don’t mind, A-Qiu. Put whatever you’d like into our stew. Then we can dine together.”

A blush clearly crept onto Jiaoqiu’s face, as the light of the red flames danced off of it. This was the first time you had suggested dining together, as even though your disciple usually cooked for you, you always ate separately. He wrapped his fingers tightly around the bottle with the pink powder and uncorked it, before pouring a generous amount of it into the stew and mixing it in. Almost immediately a strong, alluringly sweet scent filled the small room. You heard both your and Jiaoqiu’s breathing picked up, as a slight lightheadedness overcame you, when he placed two small bowls on the table filled with the stew.

A bit impatiently, Jiaoqiu sat down at the other side of the table and smiled at you. “Enjoy your meal, master~”

Setting down your folding fan, you smiled at him and placed your hands at the side of the bowl. “With you, A-Qiu.”

He returned the wicked smile and mirrored your actions, his twitching ears and swaying tail betraying his calm facade. “Of course.” The Huli Jing lifted his bowl, eagerly watching you do the same.

You held strict eye contact with him, feeling your disciple shrink into submission in excitement under his master’s watchful gaze, as both of you placed your bowls at your lips and began drinking up the steaming, hot liquid. It burned your throat like liquid fire, the sweet, sexy taste of the aphrodisiac Jiaoqiu added completely overpowering the spicy stew’s original flavour. You gulped it all down anyway, feeling the heat from the food settle in your stomach and the warmth from the aphrodisiac spread through your entire body until both master and disciple were a flushed, sweaty mess.

Jiaoqiu lost his cool far quicker and in a less dignified manner than you did, claws audibly digging into his clothed thighs, which he tried to subtly rub together. “M-Master…”, he whispered, lust written all over his flushed face and his tail impatiently swaying back and forth.

“What is it, A-Qiu?” You innocently tilted your head to the side with a gentle smile, hands on your lap to use the wide sleeves to hide your raging boner. Compared to your disciple, your breathing was still even and calm, as Jiaoqiu rose up from his knees to lean over the table.

“I want you, master~!”, he panted out, his breath smelled sweet and alluring, just like the aphrodisiac. His pupils were blown wide with lust and he stared at you, as if he was willing to pounce at any moment.

“Oh? Does my dearest head disciple not have any self-control to wait for his master to be ready?” You sighed in disappointment, seeing his tail flick in frustration, you both knew you were more than ready for action.

“No, master. Your disciple is very, very impatient tonight~”, Jiaoqiu practically purred, as he supported himself on the table and arched his back, showing off his subtle curves and flexibility. “And he’s afraid that tonight he just can’t resist~”

You observed him push the empty bowls away and lay down on the table to crawl over it and closer to you, resisting the urge to just grab him and rip his clothes off. You remained still though, letting him have his foreplay. “Then he should remember that he’s going to be severely punished for his misbehaviour later.”

“That’s a matter for later~ Mghhh~” By now Jiaoqiu has reached you and gotten up on all fours on the table to hungrily press his lips against yours. “Hahhh, nghhh~”

You willingly opened your mouth, letting his sweet tongue lap at your palate, not bothering to move in the slightest, as he climbed onto your lap. He threw his arms around your neck and started grinding his hips against yours or rather, against your hands still folded over your lap. Even through the multiple layers of clothing separating your skin from Jiaoqiu’s, you could feel the wet patch growing between his legs.

“Really, master?”, Jiaoqiu sighed into your kiss and pouted a little, his devious hand having found their way past yours to the leaking tip of your dick. “All dripping and hard, yet still no reaction? So stiff and stubborn.”

You just smiled. “You should know that it takes a lot more for me to just give in to your raunchy little games.”

“Tch. All this resistance for what?” Using your shoulders as support, Jiaoqiu lifted his hips up high enough to grind his clothed cunt against your tip. “You always enjoyed it in the end.”

“Mgh-!” You felt your resolve crumbling, he was definitely getting better at this game of riling each other up to a good fuck. “I’m sure you’ve figured it out already, clever as you are~” Your dick twitched in delight, when a slight frown flashed across Jiaoqiu’s face, showing that he very much has not figured it out yet.

“Hmp-!” With a light huff, he put his palm on your broad chest and pushed against it. Deciding to indulge him, you complied and let Jiaoqiu push you to the ground to lay comfortably on the hard wooden floor. You watched him hike up your robe, so your huge dick was visibly tenting your loose pants. Seeing you move your hands away to allow him access to it, the Huli Jing smiled deviously. “Oh, so that’s what it’s like, hm? Master just wants to see how far I’d go for him?” His smile grew into a nearly manic grin. “Well, I can just say, I don’t have any limits~” With that, he pulled down his robe, revealing the bare, creamy skin of his toned shoulders, the supple mounds of his tits and his beautifully soft abs, until the robe completely fell off of his body along with the sash tying it in place.

“What a beautiful disciple I have~” With a hum, you shamelessly reached up to squeeze Jiaoqiu’s sides, your hand dwarving his fairly broad build. You felt his tummy move beneath your fingers, as he shifted and panted, skin unbearably hot from arousal.

“Ahh~” He squirmed, when you placed both hands on his waist, your thumbs and forefingers nearly touching around it. “You act like this is the first time you see me nude, master.”

“And does that mean I must stop appreciating my disciple’s beauty?” You loosened your grip a little, allowing him to shimmy out of his pants and throw them to the side along with his shoes.

“I suppose not… Mghh…~” A light moan left Jiaoqiu’s lips, as he touched his lower belly, rubbing his crotch right above his throbbing clit. You slid the tips of your calloused fingers over the smooth skin of his hips over to his crotch, flattening two underneath his pussy for him to grind against. “Anghh~” Jiaoqiu moaned, rutting against your fingers, as he reached down to undo your sash and discard the pesky piece of clothing behind him.

“You’re so wet… And I’m barely even touching you”, you remarked, a gasp leaving your mouth, when your disciple unceremoniously pulled your robes aside to grope your chest. Your bulging pecs dwarved his slender hands, as he dug his nails into the soft flesh and kneaded them like dough.

“Nghhaaahhh~” Jiaoqiu threw his head back and pushed his hips down harder on your fingers, when you curled them slightly and allowed them to slip into his cunt. “S-Speak for yourself, master-!” He moaned, hips stuttering slightly, as he pushed his ass back against the rather large patch at the tent in your pants. His hole was clamping down on your thick fingers, the large digits spreading him out far better than his could ever dream of.

“Now, now, watch your manners”, you tutted him with a harsh curl of your fingers inside of him, digging them deeper into him and punching an ecstatic groan out of him. “Me being knuckles-deep inside of you doesn’t give you permission to act up.” His cunt squeezed you even harder at the words and you could swear he was sucking you in with all of his might.

Licking his lips hungrily, Jiaoqiu moved his hands to your abs, as he arched his back. “Sorry, master~” He didn’t seem sorry at all, when he lifted himself off of your fingers to slide your pants down and free the monster of a cock that had been desperately leaking into the fabric the whole time. Jiaoqiu traced the shaft in awe, admiring the bulging veins running along it. Two of his fingers teasingly rubbed over your tip, collecting the pre-cum and spreading it around. “So big and hard~ A shame that it’s attached to such a stubborn master~”

“Nghh-!” You bucked your hips lightly, your cock sliding against his fingers and getting a bit of pre-cum over the shaft. “Take matters into your own hand, if you don’t like how I’m doing it.”

“Tch, of course.” His hand wrapped around your shaft, slowly stroking it and covering it in your fluids. His fingers could barely encircle your base completely and Jiaoqiu seemed to like that just as much as you did, based on how he leered at it lustfully. “Anghhh~” Rubbing your cock against his cunt, he pushed it against his pink entrance, barely letting the red tip slide in and clenching around it, before pulling out again.

“A-Qiu…” You grunted, nails digging into his waist, adding more bruises to the ones your hands had already left on his creamy skin.

“Hahhh, so good~” With a moan, Jiaoqiu fully sank down on your length, his wet heat clamping down on you like a vice. The aphrodisiac has made you so sensitive, it felt as though a single thrust deep inside of him could make you cum already. His pussy was fluttering around you, desperately trying to suck you back in, even as he lifted himself up slowly and dropped back down.

“You’re so tight, A-Qiu…”, you gritted out, enraptured by the sight of your disciple riding you, his wet cunt speared open to its limits around your cock, as it kept going in and out. Your thumbs brushed over a bump in his stomach and your breath hitched when you realised that it was your dick there.

“Can you feel it?~” Jiaoqiu panted, placing his smaller hand on yours to guide it to the bulge in his abdomen that appeared every time he thrusted downwards. “Master, you’re so deep~”

“Ngh, A-Qiu…!” With a grunt, you held his hips in place to thrust up into him, disregarding the will to let him put on a show for you. His entire body jolted at the sudden stimulation and he shook in your hands. You let him position himself comfortably on top of you, before propping your knees up and pounding into him from below.

“Ohhhh, yesss, yes, yes, master-!” Jiaoqiu blabbered, burning eyes turning hazy, as he dug his nails into your flexing abs, his tail swishing behind him in satisfaction. His cunt was tight and inviting and you made sure to thrust and grind into each of his sensitive spots inside, turning the Huli Jing into a moaning mess. “Faster-!”

“You’re not- Unghh~! Making demands here-!” You complied anyway, speeding up your thrusts into him. The force behind it had his ears bouncing wildly and his tail was swishing around more erratically, signalling his upcoming orgasm.

“Nghhh, c-come inside, master-!”, Jiaoqiu demanded, squirming in your firm grasp to thrust down on your huge cock and keep it inside of him. His fingers were digging bruises into your belly and his hair was falling so beautifully over his shoulders, as his swollen pussy took your dick like it was made for it.

“Hahhh, I- Mghhghhh~!” A particularly harsh thrust deep into your disciple sent you over the edge, the bliss temporarily blinding you, as your cock spurted a big load right into Jiaoqiu’s cunt.

“Master-! Nghhaahhh!” He followed with a yell, cunt clenching down on you even harsher than before and squirting all over you.

“Ungh-!” Some of his spent landed right in your mouth and you eagerly ate it up, enjoying the sweet, musky taste of his pussy. As your vision returned, you blinked at him, seeing that your dick made no effort to soften and his cunt was still as swollen and wet as ever. Even with how he clamped down on you, leaving not even the slightest gap between your dick and his walls, your load was starting to seep out of him.

“Keep it inside-!” Jiaoqiu huffed, trying to close his legs to prevent it from spilling out.

“Come here, A-Qiu”, you commanded him softly, dragging him off of your cock and guiding him into a new position. Your disciple squirmed a little, but soon complied, when he found out what you were planning.

“Mm, I like the idea of dessert~”, he purred, his swaying tail accidentally smacking your face, as you lowered his pussy towards your face. His thighs were caging in your head, efficiently suffocating you, but nose-deep in a wet cunt was a death you could live with, if you didn’t care for dignity.

“Don’t be greedy, A-Qiu. Only one portion for now”, you mumbled, unable to resist the delicious sight of your cum dripping out of his pink pussy like sweet cream.

“If you say so, master~” Thin fingers curled around the base of your cock and not a second later, a kiss was placed on your tip. Feeling your dick twitch at that, you mirrored the gesture and kissed Jiaoqiu’s clit, before using your thumbs to spread his labia open and catching the savoury mix of cum and pussy juice with your mouth. “Mghhh~”

It didn’t take long until wet, obscene slurping sounds filled the room, Jiaoqiu’s lips stretched taut around your shaft, as he eagerly sucked on your cock like it was a sweet treat. Meanwhile your mouth was devouring his dripping cunt, eating up the mix of both of your fluids like a starved man.

You could feel his pussy clenching around your tongue, when you finally entered it, having eaten up most of your fluids inside of him by now. Once your cum was gone, you could truly get a taste of your disciple’s hungry pussy and on god, you were loving it. He tasted sweet and musky, a nicely masculine and alluring taste that suited Jiaoqiu perfectly.

“Mghhh~ Such a big treat~” You heard him mumble, as he pulled off of your cock to lick his slick off of the base and the shaft where he couldn’t reach, when sucking you off. His devious, little fingers quickly found your balls and started squeezing and playing with them like marbles.

“Ngh-! Don’t play with your food, A-Qiu-!” You jolted at his touch, bucking your hips up and pushing your cock against his face. Burying your face in his cunt, you slipped one thumb into his soaked hole from above, while tonguing at the hood of his clit.

“Ahhh~ S-Sorry, master~” Again, Jiaoqiu didn’t sound very sorry, as he kept fondling your balls and stroking your base, as he went back to suckling at your tip.

You groaned and dug your nails into his plush thigh, having to hold his hips in place, as he greedily tried to suffocate you with his pussy. Wrapping your lips around his clit, you began sucking eagerly, listening to his whines and gasps, as he struggled to take your dick down his throat.

You shifted a little, trying to wring your thumb deeper into his hole, and curling it inside to assault his sweet spot. From the way he jolted and tightened around your dick every time you moved your finger, it seemed to be working.

“Nghhh~” Drunk on lust and pleasure, you loosened your grip on the Huli Jing’s thigh and let him fully squash your face with his cunt. With a muffled grunt, you started ravishing his pussy, replacing your thumb with your tongue, as you grabbed the base of his tail and stroked it.

“Aaamghhh~” Jiaoqiu’s response was almost immediate, a high-pitched keen, which was quickly choked back down his throat as you bucked your hips up to slam your cock into his face. You felt his whole body quiver and shake, as you set a ruthless pace, hearing him choke and gasp from the rapid thrusts. The movements caused his hips to bear down further on your face and despite already feeling light-headed from lack of oxygen, you kept tongue-fucking him.

“Mgghhh, hhhh-!” Your hips stuttered a little and a muffled yell went right against your disciple’s cunt, as you came right down his tight throat. Jiaoqiu moaned in response, eagerly drinking up all of your cum.

His thighs tightened around your head, threatening to crush it like a watermelon, as his hips bore down on your face and by now practically grinded his cunt against your mouth, until he came with a shout. “Ahh, fuck-! Nghhh, master-!” Jiaoqiu lifted himself off of your nose just enough for you to give you a small breather, before immediately squirting all over it and soaking you in his juices.

“Urghhh-!” Reflexively, you opened your mouth and clenched your eyes shut, drinking up the sweet, alluring liquid that landed on your tongue. Almost instantly, Jiaoqiu settled back down against your face, languidly riding out his orgasm, as he swirled his tongue around your sensitive cockhead.

“A-Qiu…”, You mumbled after a while, tugging at his tail to get him off of you. Despite those two intense orgasms, your body was still burning up from arousal and your dick was still hard and erect as if you never came.

“Mghhh, you tasted good, master~” His tail swayed in your grasp, as Jiaoqiu pulled away from your cock and arched his back. He lifted his hips, letting out an amused snort, upon seeing your red face soaked in his juices.

“Look at the mess you made, A-Qiu.” You tutted him, sitting up, as the Huli Jing turned around and climbed onto your lap, squeezing your dick in-between your hot bellies, while he straddled your thigh.

“Sorry, master~” Jiaoqiu batted his eyelashes, still not a trace of remorse in his yellow eyes, as he leaned forward and kissed you. “I’ll clean it up for you~”

You hummed in approval, closing your eyes and kneading his ass, as his tongue lapped up his juices and he ground his hips down on your bare thigh.

You were wondering whether the night was long enough for you and your disciple to properly fuck all of the aphrodisiac out of your systems.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Have you ever tried or heard of the "Buldak Spicy Noodles Challenge?" Its made in Korea and it has many different spice levels & flavors, ranging from 1920 SHU to 10,000 scoville units. What would it be like if the reader (Replacement Fighter) who enjoys eating it without breaking a sweat, introduced the noodles to the RoR characters & made them eat it? Who would be just fine & who would immediately tap out, grabbing a bucket of ice cream or milk? (You can add in other characters too)

Gods: Odin, Thor, Hades, Poseidon, Loki, Rudra, Shiva, Buddha & Apollo

Humans: Sasaki, Lubu, Tesla & Leo

I love Buldak! I’ve tried the normal spicy and I will admit that it is very spicy, but also refreshing in a sense and I love eating it. I will not be trying the death by spicy one, as I like my mouth not being burned away, lol.

-It started off with some curiosity, as they had seen you eating a thing of pot noodles, they were bright red and a specific scent seemed to hang in the air, something spicy.

-When you turned, still slurping up the noodles, seeing them looking at you with curiosity on their faces, you stood up and walked over to your pantry, “Sorry I forgot you guys were coming. Want some?”

-As you asked this, you opened your pantry, revealing more of the pot noodles, as in your whole pantry was stuffed with them. A few had to question how you were so healthy if you ate instant noodles all the time, but you ignored them, just starting the kettle again.

-Once the noodles were ready and everyone was sitting around the living room with you, you continued eating, after making yourself a second helping, to eat alongside everyone else.

-A few took a sniff of the noodles, Poseidon, Nikola, and Apollo, who all were instantly coughing, smelling the intense spice.

-A few had worried looks on their faces, sending panicked glances to each other before they all dug in.

-SPICY!!!! Immediately choking and rushing to the sink or trash can to spit it out, coughing from the intense spice, raiding your fridge for drinks, anything they could get their hands on, including just ice cubes. How could you eat that with a straight face!!

            -Poseidon, Apollo, Nikola, and Loki

-Okay this is really spicy, manages to get through the first bite, but not the second, as their face was quickly turning red, and quickly joined the others in the kitchen, demanding your ice tray to suck on some ice as well.

            Odin, Buddha, Hades, and Kojiro

-Isn’t going to be a bitch and wimp out, he is going to finish this challenge and prove that it’s not that spicy!! By the time he finishes, his face his bright red, his tongue is out as he can’t feel it and is pretty sure he’s burning from the inside out. Accepts your ice cream, after you finished yours, with panicked haste.

            -Leonidas, Lu Bu, and Thor

-This is really taste and is able to casually eat it like you. Yeah it’s spicy, but it’s doable- it’s quite refreshing actually. The others can only stare at you and them with horror on their faces, as you pulled out the three times as spicy one, asking if they wanted to try it. To everyone’s horror, the three of you eat that one no problem, but admit that this one is spicy. Ya’ll a bunch of freaks.

-Rudra and Shiva

[amyispxnk]

Sometimes, home is a person.

Summary: Joel loves music and so do you, and he finds the perfect thing for it on patrol

A/N: I wanna dance with Joel AGHHH GOD. Also I'm putting the song I'd put in my apocalypse record player here. Which would you pick??

Pairing: Joel Miller x gn!reader

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: fluff, language, a vague suicide mention, established relationship

DO NOT COPY THIS WORK IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

"Joel! Get your ass over here!" Tommy's voice echoed throughout the large house they'd just cleared out, nearing the end of their patrol for the day.

The stairs creaked beneath his feet as he trudged up them, turning the corner and walking into the room Tommy was stood in, hands outstretched in front of him as he looked at Joel, before gesturing to the space in front of him. "Look!" He said expectantly as Joel turned and let his eyes rove over the items before him.

A blue record player, weathered with age and apocalypse, with a case of records on the floor beside it. There were also posters from some musical bands which were a little damaged too, but a few were still recognisable.

"Well, shit." Joel chuckled, fingertips lightly brushing against the case of the record player as he turned back to face Tommy. "You takin' any of this or 's it a gift for me?"

"All for you, brother. Meet me outside in 10, yeah?"

Joel nodded before turning back around and checking the record player for damage, deciding it would probably still work and moving onto the records. He picked out a few he liked and some more he knew you'd like too, putting them in his pack and finally looking to the posters. He swiftly pocketed the Pearl Jam one and looked for some more, finally ending up with Tommy a little more than 10 minutes later.

"You sure took your time." He had teased as Joel walked out, pack close to bursting by now with all the shit he was trying to bring back. He didn't really get excited over stuff anymore, but he hadn't come across a single record player in.. ever, so it was a pretty big thing for him. Not only that, but you loved music just as much as he did, and he knew you'd be over the moon when he brought everything back.

"Had to make sure I wasn't leavin' anythin' good behind." Joel explained as he mounted his horse, the pair kicking off and starting the journey back to Jackson.

You watched the swirls of stock and water blend together in the pot as you cooked dinner when the telltale sound of heavy footsteps plodding up the porch and the key turning in the lock graced your ears.

"'m home!" Joel called as you turned the heat down on the stove and walked over to the entryway.

"Hey." You smiled, going over to him and giving him a small kiss. "How was patrol?"

"Was good, nothin' special really." He replied, wanting to keep the record player a secret so he could surprise you later.

"No infected?" You asked as you reached to help get his jacket off, before reaching for his pack too. He quickly stopped you from taking it with his hand, causing you to look at him confusedly.

"What? You hidin' something from me?" You questioned with a little smile, before retreating and hanging his jacket up.

"Not hidin' anythin'." He told you in a gruff voice as he took off his boots and followed you into the kitchen.

You gave him an 'ookay then' look, and he knew you'd seen straight through him, but you chose to just let it go. "Dinner'll be ready in a bit, then. You should go shower, you're all stinky." You teased as you wrinkled your nose slightly, making him let out a low chuckle as he walked upstairs.

"Yes ma'am."

That evening, the two of you ate and after you both finished, you were resting on the couch when Joel gently took the book you were reading from your hands.

"Wanted t'show you somethin'." He said, trying to suppress the smile that wanted to etch itself onto his face but ultimately failing.

"I knew you were hiding something!" You immediately responded with a grin as you sat up off the couch and looked at him expectedly.

"Yeah, ya always gotta be right, don't cha?" He smirked as he stood up and reached down into the pack.

"Now close your eyes." He told you, making you let out a small laugh as you did.

"Okay this better be the coolest thing ever Joel, you're really making it seem that way." You said as he stood in front of you.

"It is. Open your eyes."

You did, and when you saw the record player in his hands, you let out a little gasp and looked from him to the record player and back to him again.

"Is this.." you began, before reaching for the little clasp on it and popping it open.

He watched your eyes sparkle like they'd never done before as his heart positively melted.

"Yeah, found it on patrol." He explained as he put the record player on a table then took your hand and pulled you up from the couch.

"Y'gonna keep gawkin' at it or you wanna dance with me?" He smirked as you looked back at him and smiled.

"Yeah- Let's dance."

He put a record on that he knew you'd love and put his hand on your waist, pulling you a little closer as your hands joined behind his neck and the two of you danced slowly, swaying to the music. You looked up at his face and let your left hand trail across his jaw, cupping it as your thumb raked over the coarse stubble that littered along the bottom of his face. Your gaze shifted to his eyes, a deep warm brown which stared back at you with such love that was only reserved for a select few people in Joel's life. His face, scarred from the many battles he'd fought - physical and mental - and from age. A face which you adored regardless of any 'imperfection'. A particular scar on his temple came into view and you lingered on it for a minute. If he had been successful that day, you wouldn't be here, alive even, let alone living the best life you reckoned you could in the apocalyptic world with the man you loved. You shook the thought away and let your eyes finally fall on his lips. Slightly chapped, pink and pouty, just begging to be kissed.

Of course, you oblige as you lean in and press your lips to his, the song coming to a slow end even though you didn't notice since you were so lost in thought, in admiration for the man you were so blessed to call yours. You poured everything into the kiss, wanting to emphasise just how much you loved him without even needing words. He needed to know it, and you'd come to realise that, so you showed him as much as you could every single day.

Thank you SM for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated and requests are open 💞

[backwzzds]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ take the reins, ichigo kurosaki (nsfw)

slightly sub!ichigo loves letting you fuck him back to sleep.

it was such a late night. you knew ichigo was tired the way the boy literally slept like a rock beside you. you were still awake though. you’d got in from work just a few hours ago when it was ichigo’s ‘day off’, one he used to practically sleep for twenty hours straight. you’d settled on just watching the features of your lover as he slept through the rest of the night, but was confused when you heard him let out an awakening yawn before you.

suddenly, ichigo’s beautiful eyes opened up, clearly surprised at your sudden presence beside him. ichigo yawns and speaks. “didn’t know you came home. what time is it?”

“little after three. your heavy ass was knocked out like a log when i got home,” you laughed lightly. “you know how hard it was getting just one of your legs to move over?”

the strawberry blonde let out a tired smile as he bought a large hand to cup your face. naturally, you mirrored his actions and ran your acrylic nail over the smooth of his porcelain skin. you two lovingly stared at each other like you did every night. “sorry, princess,” he raspily chuckled, running his own thumb against the terrain of your mahogany skin. “missed you today.”

“missed you too,” you smiled at him. “you ate the food i cooked for you papa? or did your ass sleep all day?” your eyebrows flattened as you gave him a knowing look.

ichigo chuckled as he scooted your body closer to his. by now, your noses were almost touching, and your bare body was against his. all you were clad in was one of his older shirts and panties. he was only wearing his boxers to bed like he usually did. but the time of night didn’t keep ichigo from bothering to hide the growing boner that was poking your stomach right about now.

“i did, i did. it was really good,” he breathed out. “i went back to sleep after though.” you playfully rolled your eyes at his response. you already knew from the way he completely cleaned out the pots you had left the fresh food in before you left for work.

you both are left in a relaxing silence before ichigo’s eyes falter down to your full lips. “lemme get a kiss.” his voice was hard and tired; but that didn’t stop it from letting his request come out as a very soft demand.

without a second thought, you leaned into his touch and pressed your lips against his. you physically felt ichigo’s hardened body, tired from all his protective soul reaper work, melt into the grasp of your soft hands. you took care of him without even trying; you always did.

you stayed like that for a few minutes, just swallowing each other whole in the pitch black room. you have no complaints when you feel ichigo grab you by the waist and use the very little strength he could muster up to pull you onto his chest. at first, you’re fearful that you may be too heavy for his injuries that were still healing. but at the twitch of you about to get off of him, he grips your hips and slightly forces you down against him.

“‘m fine,” he whispered against your lips. “just let me fuck you.”

you speak in between the pecks of your kisses and give him a stern look. “you need to rest.”

“mama i’m fine,” he whined, coyly rutting his pelvis up into your thin clothed cunt. “rested all day, been wanting to be inside you all damn day. let me, will ya?” you roll your eyes at his sassy attitude before lightly lifting up the shirt you wore, silently giving him permission to continue.

in one swift move, ichigo slides down his boxers before moving your own panty to the side. he runs his wet tip against your even wetter pussy, barely groaning at the easy comparison. the strawberry blonde bites his lip tightly as he slips in you with complete ease.

you audibly gasp as you feel ichigo fill you up within seconds. his large hands press down on your back so your chest is flat against his own, lightly rocking into. “just relax—fuck,” he encouraged.

you moan, lightly lifting and dropping your ass down against him to meet his thrusts. “i s-should be telling you that.”

“shit—i’m supposed to relax when y’er grippin’ me so tight?” ichigo groans, running his hands along your sides. “feel like i’m boutta cum already.”

“don’t nut quick like a teenage boy,” you roll your eyes.

ichigo mirrors your actions, slightly quickening his pace. “tch. might cum way quicker than that.”

at the sound of this, you could tell he’s straining himself, so you rest your hand on his chest and sit up a little. “let me do will the work before you pull a muscle. again.”

ichigo’s face turns red as he exclaims, “that was one time!” but you shut him up with a quick bounce of your hips against him. by now, you were fully riding him, putting all the control in your knees and ankles that were flat against the mattress.

“fuck, daddy,” you let out as you roll yourself against him. “that feel good, pa?”

pleasure is written all over ichigo’s face as his eyes roll to the back of his nodding head. “just like that mama. feel so good—shit.”

leaning forward just a little bit, you turn your head back behind you and you and ichigo watch as your ass bounces up and down against his painfully long cock that was stretching you so good.

minutes pass by when you’re still riding ichigo. your knees were burning as a sign of them starting to give out, but you kept going as a way to treat ichigo for everything he did for you. by the sounds of his low whines—too tired enough to fully be vocal—you knew he was close.

you felt yourself cumming out of nowhere. the knot in your stomach slowly came undone as you looked down and saw a ring of your arousal forming around ichigo’s girth. “baby, ‘m close,” ichigo breathed out heavily. “so fucking close—“

“i know baby,” you cooed, rubbing your hands all along his chest. “you like it when i fuck you back like this? when i take control?” your voice is soft and sensual as you begin to shown praise to ichigo’s body. all the scars and marks on his skin telling a different story. you only saw the effect his job had on him when he was beneath you like this.

“mhm,” ichigo hummed in response. his hands found solace on your clit and began rubbing it in small circles, stimulating you as well. “lemme cum in you—please—shit.”

you can’t help but smirk at his begging. “go ahead baby, nut in this pussy, daddy.” your words are the only confirmation ichigo needs before he’s halting your movements by the hips and rutting his own into you at lightning pace. he was moving pretty fast for someone who needed rest.

“oh fuck, ichi!” you cry out, feeling one last orgasm approach. in the midst of it all, ichigo slips his hand down beneath ur legs and scoops of a mix of both your cum before placing the fingers in his mouth and sucking on them as you began to come down from your high.

with a cheeky grin, the orange haired boy smiled at you. “desert?”

[the-californicationist]

Good Fences (Fluffuary #02)

FEB02: A Bit of Banter

You were outside of his window again, wearing the most ridiculous sleep shorts he’d ever seen in his goddamn life. And by ridiculous, he meant downright tantalizing. Sure, they were highlighter pink and had little hearts on the pockets, but they may as well have been transparent. As you bent over to move your potted plants away from his half of the balcony, he could see… everything.

At the plump, delightful join of your shapely legs, the outline of your adorable little pussy lips kept peeking between them, playing hide-and-seek with his unblinking line of sight and making him sincerely doubt his self-control.

You had insisted, of course, that John needed to take ownership of his half of the outside porch. You had lived there for so long that you had acquired a veritable forest of houseplants. He liked it. The greenery was nice. It was such a departure from most of the living spaces he found himself in, and watching you bend over to pick up fallen leaves or check the soil for its water content was a hell of a bonus. 

He knew he shouldn’t bother you. He’d let himself fall into a terrible, almost insatiable crush. Your voice when you talked on the phone, the little songs you only knew three or four lines of in the shower, the smell of your cooking; he had let it consume him, and now he was hooked. John would make any excuse to be near you. You’d told him to just leave the empty pyrex he’d borrowed on the porch table, but he hadn’t. He’d waited, selfishly, until you were outside so he would be able to hand it back in person. Now, his opportunity had come.

The sliding door shuddered in its track as he climbed onto the balcony with you. You turned to look at him, and when you did, he was treated to the rest of your outfit. Your sweater was a little cropped, and it was full of large, crocheted holes so he could see your skin straight through them. You had a pale blue bralette, all lace and bows, covering your full breasts underneath, and he thought he might pass out from the blood loss. But, he controlled his face, and handed you back your baking dish,

“Ah!” You smiled, taking it from him, “Thanks! Hope you enjoyed the cookies.”

“Enjoyed? Ate them in one sitting, more like,” he chuckled, having a seat at the little round table that sat in the middle of the porch, and pulled out his cigar case. 

“I guess you’ll need another batch this weekend, then,” you winked, obviously joking. But, he looked at you and quite seriously said,

“I would pay money, love.”

You blushed, and he enjoyed watching it flood your cheeks. How badly he wanted to kiss them, to feel the soft flesh bend under the pressure of his mouth…

“Sorry about all the plants. I’ve been working on clearing off your side…” You started dragging another pot into your corner.

“Told you it was alright.”

He lit his cigar, and watched you carefully. You had finally moved all the plants out of his side and had pulled out the broom to sweep it off. 

“Can’t have you cleanin’ for me too, love,” he moved to stop you.

“It’s my mess, John. But, I make a pretty decent maid.”

There was a twinkle in his eye when he responded to your comment,

“Mmm. Bet you look pretty good in the outfit,” he laughed when you narrowed your eyes at him, trying to hold back your own laugh as you swept off the stray soil, “Little feather duster?” He mimicked the dusting motion at you and let the smoke billow out around his beard. 

“You’re going to need to hire a real maid if you keep leaving those ashes all over my table,” you shot back, teasing him. 

He feigned injury, pouting a bit, 

“I’ll buy an ashtray, love, don’t worry. C’mon. Don’t you like a smoke every now and then?”

You shrugged, sitting across from him, resting after your chores,

“Never had one. Not a big cigar like that anyway.”

“Think it’s big, huh?” He cocked a sly smile, knowing he was being rude.

You rolled your eyes, but gave him a soft laugh anyway.

He handed it to you, and you admired the glowing ember at its tip. You had to admit, the scent was wonderfully complex, and you had accidentally trained yourself, like Pavlov’s dog, to respond when you smelled it outside. It meant he was around…

“Don’t inhale into your chest. Just pull it into your mouth, and then let it fall away slowly. It’s meant to be relaxing.”

You tried to follow his directions and he grinned with no small amount of satisfaction.

“It’s nice,” you admitted, handing it back to him. 

“You should let me cook for you. Gotta pay you back for all those cookies somehow,” he offered, staring out into the vanilla sky as the sun tucked itself behind the cloud. 

“Mmm,” you smiled, leaning back in your chair and looking out into the sunset with him, “Not sure if it’s safe. You might be a murderer, you know?”

“I might be…” He took another long drag, and there was something in his tone that gave you pause, but he smirked, so he was clearly joking around. 

“You don’t seem very motivated,” you shrugged, “It’s been two weeks, and I’m still breathing. Or, maybe you’re terrible at it?”

He cut his eyes over to you and burst out laughing. You laughed with him, not exactly knowing what was so funny. But, being with him was intoxicating, and you were having a hard time staying away. Laughing together like this felt like a dream.

John finally caught his breath and nodded,

“That’s true. You could make it easier on me by coming to dinner tomorrow. We could eat out here,” he winked, “For your safety.”

“Yeah,” you shrugged, pulling your sweater a little tighter around your shoulders, “That sounds nice.”

“Great,” he took another long, enticing drag of smoke, “It’s a date.”

Check out the schedule here.

AO3 Link

[plutopitou]

◇ Internship

bakugou katsuki x reader

Warnings: smut, smut, and more smut hornies

did this in 10 minutes no beta luv u

Bakugou clasps onto your throat harder than the continuous thrusts to kiss the blossomed opening of your cervix.

“God, fucking look at you..” he mutters in a struggled breath, the slosh of your pussy from his jabs rotting his brain as the only thing he can seem to focus on. He wants to ruin it, he wants to feel your little squeeze to not let go and pull out like a baby running to her daddy.

You’re forced to rest your head on his broad shoulders to keep it from banging against the wall, your body being pushed between the wall; one leg raised up and his large frame blocking you in with no where to go makes you moan, it makes your mouth agape with no other option to take it and push right back into his cock for more

You wanted more.

Nails dig into his bare back as katsuki hisses. Your pantyhose are thrown to the side- your pretty skirt bunched up at the hips opening up to be bruised, and your white office shirt unbuttoned to show everything you got for your boss.

It was a reminder how wrong this was. God forbid another employee walking in to see a newly hired intern being fucked like a whore by their boss. A scene where the room echoed of his ragged breaths, your wet pussy and sloppy kisses to the target of your breasts- how he couldn’t resist to kiss when they were served in front of him like a platter to a starved man.

His fingers wandering down to play with your soaked center, how he playfully runs them down the trail of your leaking fluids to slick them with you.

“Bakugou, please- we really shouldn’t anymore..” You felt yourself getting to a closing point, but the guilt ate at your mind this was just not right.

You were a paid intern, a paid intern getting fucked in the paper closet by the top hero Dynamight. To say those words stung but you were scared to know something like this doesn’t last forever.

“Shut up and open..” he whispers sensually with his gravely tone. You obeyed, sticking your tongue out just how you knew he liked it.

His spit reaches the tip of your tongue, his fingers diving straight in your mouth like it was fucking your sweet, tight pussy- just making a straight mess of your mouth as he reveled in the low vibrations of your closed moans.

It didn’t matter to him what was supposed to be “right.” If this was not right then he’d feel okay being in the wrong, as long as he continued to see your sweet face melt into a pot of sweetness and your body want his just as badly as he needed yours.

“It feels good doesn’t it?” His thrusts getting more ferocious. “Just take a peek down, baby..” he breathed. “You practically already squirted on me.”

You couldn’t help but feel your eyes roll back in pleasure. How this had been the fifth time you fucked but he’s got your body printed on his mind better than a map. “Please..” you whispered up at the ceiling, that feeling of desperation clinging onto your energy telling him to just go harder.

Katsuki feels that dibolic nature settle in as sloppy kisses from your tits finally reach the plumpness of your lips that he needed more than air.

You both feel it, you can see it on eachother. That bead of sweat snowballing down the deep crevice of his sheen abdomen past every living scar. How your lower half pushes back against his pelvic with erotic slaps and your upper is limp against his kisses.

Katsuki’s hand squeezes the plump of your hip, his mouth gaping against your lips feeling your milky arousel drip out around the creamy ring around his cock made from you two.

Your embarrassment wasn’t allowed to settle inside yourself as you watched your boss tease around your entrance, coated fingers being cleaned away by his hot mouth.

You legs didn’t last a second being left to stand alone before Katsuki catches your waist. He follows your slumped figure against the wall, putting his cock back in his trousers and starts to rebutton your exposed breasts.

“Same time Monday?”

Well, at least you were a paid intern.

[fioreofthemarch]

repast

Fandom: The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom Pairing: Link/Zelda Words: 880 [✨read the oneshot's two companion pieces: yearnings and kin]

The first thing Link began to wonder about the Light Dragon – once his tears for her ran dry and his grief made room for a growing curiosity – was whether she ever got hungry.

In her previous life, she’d had a utilitarian relationship with food. Link had cooked all manner of dishes for her, and each one she would eat in a straight-forward, disciplined manner, dutifully setting about tidying up once she was done. If he asked what her favourite meal was, she’d say, ‘All of them!’

Now, it was possible that dragons didn’t need to eat. Immortality, its terribleness aside, probably had benefits like that. The question was, would they want to?

Link hadn’t paid the Light Dragon much mind during his travels. Dragons seemed to be ten a rupee these days, arising out of chasms, swimming over villages, winding through canyons and so on. Now that he had learned who the Light Dragon really was – telling himself he’d known for a long time to muffle the anguished guilt he felt at not having known right away – he had begun to track her movements. Occasionally, she would break her kingdom-spanning flight path to spend a few hours circling the skyward Temple of Time. It was there that he waited for her now.

“Zelda, I’ve come to make your favourite,” he called up to the Light Dragon from the roof of the temple, unsure if she’d heard. Undeterred, he set up a cookpot and began, sauteeing a dozen apples in a hefty amount of goat butter – this being the only meal Zelda had ever requested of him, maybe two winters ago on a freezing evening camped somewhere in Hebra. She’d said if she had one wish, it’d be a hot buttered apple, and with pride Link had made that wish come true.

At first, the Light Dragon didn’t seem to notice him. He considered hitting her with an apple-fused arrow to get her attention, but was worried he’d discover, in retaliation, that dragons had a taste for humans. Over the course of an hour however, she circled lower and lower towards the temple and the cookpot, until she gently touched down, her body wound around the outer perimeter of the roof. She rested her head by the cookpot, a huge bright eye fixed directly on Link. He froze, unsure if she was really in there, and also what the proper etiquette would be when dining with a dragon. As if in answer, she sniffed at the pot of apples. Taking one in hand, Link offered it slowly out to her; she sniffed it again and opened her mouth just enough for him to push the apple between her teeth. In astonishment Link watched as the otherworldly creature munched carefully on the apple and opened her toothy jaws for a second.

Half a dozen more he fed her this way and each one she ate faster, opening her mouth wider to demand more. By now the supply of savoury-sweet apples was running low. “I’ve only got a couple left, Zelda, but I can come back—”

Chomp! The Light Dragon snapped its jaws down around the cook pot, sending apples flying in all directions. Link reached up and grabbed the edge of the pot, trying to yank it free. “Stop! You can’t eat this! Let go!”

Then he was falling, relinquished from the Light Dragon’s teeth when she roared, and he landed on the gravel just before the cookpot landed on him. He cried out in pain, and in response the Light Dragon recoiled, drawing up into herself, the roof shingles crunching under her claws. 

Dusting himself off, Link set about collecting the apples, finding them flung across the roof and soiled with gravel. With a sigh, he prepared to throw them into the cooking fire when, at his side, something soft nudged his arm. The Light Dragon, or Zelda, or whatever mix of the two she was, tapped him with the very tip of her snout, having crept back towards him. In Link’s hand was the final apple, mostly intact. The Light Dragon nudged him again, making a low rumbling noise, barely more than a whine. 

“It’s okay, apology accepted,” Link said. “Glad you still like my cooking, old girl.”

Then, the idea coming upon him with a laugh, Link threw the apple as high as he could. There was a tornado of rushing air and dust as the Light Dragon soared upwards, unwrapping herself from temple and launching herself in pursuit of the apple, which she caught with a swift snap of her jaws. Her prize seized, she descended again to fly past Link, so fast he could barely touch her, before rising into the sky and out of reach. Her way of saying thank you, he supposed. 

Later on, returning to the surface and Demon King-shaped task at hand, Link would horde apples by the dozen and spend even his last rupee on goat butter whenever he stopped by a town. From then, he knew that if his grief struck stronger than he could handle, he could return to the Temple of Time with as many apples as he could carry, and dine with Zelda again - just like they once had, in times gone by. 

[fictionalcharactersaremypassion]

“I’m thinking about divorcing Mickey.”

A hush fell over the table. Lip stared, his coffee mug still being held up but not touching his lips. Liam had stopped eating his cereal, and even Debbie was caught off guard by the news.

“You’re what?” Lip set the mug down, seemingly trying to process this. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am,” Ian said simply.

“You just got married!” Debbie exclaimed. “What the fuck happened?”

Ian busied himself with the pot of coffee on the counter, pouring himself some. “Things change, Debs. Sometimes you don’t know who someone really is until you marry them.”

“Did he cheat?” Liam asked carefully.

“It’s Mickey,” Lip said as if that was enough of an explanation. “There’s no way he’d cheat on Ian.”

“He didn’t cheat,” Ian said, voice tight.

“Something happened,” Debbie said matter-of-factly. "What is it?’

“I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay, but are you jumping straight to divorce?” Lip asked, his face screwed up in confusion. “You wanted to marry him and it’s been, what, a couple of months. Don’t you think you should, you know, talk to him about it first before jumping the gun?”

“No,” Ian took a long drink, relishing in the caffein. “He knows what he did wrong.”

His siblings could only stare.

“So that’s it?” Debbie said in disbelief. “We did all that for you guys only for you to throw it down the fucking drain?”

“It’s his own fault,” Ian shrugged.

Lip exchanged a glance with Debbie, approaching Ian with caution. “Have you taken your meds today?”

“I’m about to,” Ian said. “Why?”

“Just wondering,” Lip muttered, rubbing a hand over his face and heaving a sigh.

From the other side of the house, Mickey came strolling in, his hair damp from the shower. “You’re out of hot water,” he told them all, opening up the fridge to search for something to eat. He came to stand side-by-side with Ian after taking the butter out for some toast. “You still pissy?”

Ian said nothing. This made Mickey grin.

“Oh, I see. I’ll take that as a yes.”

Debbie had been watching them like a hawk and evidently couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Does he know?” She burst out.

“Debs,” Lip hissed.

“Know what?” Mickey said, eyebrows raised.

“He said he’s going to divorce you,” the words just kept coming out of her mouth, her eyes wide, darting from Ian to Mickey.

Mickey glanced up at Ian, his face unreadable.

This went on for nearly a minute.

“Is that so, tough guy? It’s over, huh?”

Ian stared him down, crossing his arms. “Maybe if you hadn't ate the last fucking pop tart, it wouldn't be.”

“What?” Debbie and Lip said simultaneously.

They were ignored.

“I told you I was going to have it,” Ian said sulkily.

“This family is fucking insane,” Debbie muttered, clearing her dishes up to dispose of them in the sink.

“Too fucking bad, Red,” Mickey snickered. “Ain't it supposed to be what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine?”

“That's not how that goes,” Ian said, unamused.

Smirking, Mickey kissed him. Ian's hand came around to cup the back of his neck. “Relax,” he said when they parted, “you'll get some more.”

“You're gonna buy me some?” Ian said skeptically.

“Hell no, bitch. You know where the store is,” Mickey put the bread into the toaster, turning around to walk out of the kitchen.

“Mickey, come on,” Ian followed him, frustrated.

Liam waited until they were out of hearing range, glancing at Lip. “Those guys are not normal.”

“You don't know the half of it, Bud,” Lip shook his head.

[raph-fangirl]

Snippet from a new story I'm working on :)

Just started this new demon x reader story! im thinking it's gonna be pretty short, like a novella. hope y'all enjoy!

warnings: language, violence, masturbation, sexual/kinky fantasy

Chapter One

Your life was perfect until the demon came.

Your husband, Ruben, had just been promoted at his job. You unfortunately didn’t know much about it, only that he worked for the government and whatever he was doing was top secret. But you didn’t mind that, because the love between the two of you was real. And that’s what mattered the most.

He bought you a pretty little house in the suburbs. You wanted to paint it pink and attempted to plant a vegetable garden, but HOA wasn’t having any of that. Life there was slightly stifling—after your upbringing in the country—but as long as you and Ruben were together, it didn’t matter where you lived. 

You tried to pillage out a life for yourself while he was gone all day—bake sales, book club, bridge games. The ladies in the neighborhood were unbearably kind to you, and they always asked if you were expecting, but you assured them with a winning smile that you had just been eating too much cream pie as of late.

Ruben told you he loved you no matter your looks, and that he was sure it was just weight you had gained from all the baking you had been doing. You wondered what you had possibly done in your life to earn such a gem of a man. With that slick black hair and tan skin and kind eyes. 

You were just kids when you met, he was sixteen and you were fourteen. Your best friend was going steady with him, and they invited you out on a drive together one day. By the end of the ride, Ruben asked you to take the passenger seat.

Four years later you married. Four years after that you had your forever home. Four more years would you have a kid, or two, or three? 

Tonight was pasta night. You and Ruben would have a glass of wine, or two, and then make love. Back when you were first married, you did it practically every night of the week. Now you were lucky if pasta night even did the trick. 

You launched a string of spaghetti on the wall. It stuck. You took the pot off the stove, dished out the noodles onto two plates, then finished with the meat sauce. For your own indulgence, you added some parsley on top. You smiled at the little green leaves and how pretty your dish had turned out.

Ruben should have been home thirty minutes ago, he promised as he dashed out the door that morning. But you’d gotten used to him being late. 

You lit some candles and ate in silence. You meant to have only one glass of wine but another evening alone required a little more drink.

You cleaned up the kitchen and stuffed Ruben’s plate into a tupperware container before sliding it in the fridge. 

As per usual on pasta nights when he didn’t make it home on time, you slinked into a nice hot bubble bath and proceeded to pleasure yourself. You hated yourself for it but couldn’t help it. In your mind’s eye, you imagined a big strong man with long flowy hair having his way with you. You moaned, aching at the thought of him railing into you on the beach, the waves cascading over your curves. He would grab you so hard it almost hurt.

Ruben had always been gentle with you, loving. But lately you’d found yourself craving more than just the ten minute humping fest. That gentleness he always had with you faded away into something more like passivity as of late. But you figured it was just stress from work. He’d had a lot going on lately and just wanted to come home, scarf down his leftovers, and go straight to sleep after work. It was fine. Every night before he crashed off to sleep he told you he needed you and loved you desperately—that you were the greatest accomplishment of his life. That was all you needed to hear to be able to wake up the next day and bear doing everything all over again. 

Ruben was exceptionally late tonight, though. It was teetering on midnight. You tried to stay awake, fighting off sleep as you lay in bed. But eventually you nodded off, and dreamt of the man with wavy hair at the beach. He grunted as he slammed into you, but soon those grunts turned into yelps. Yelps that almost sounded like Ruben. 

You awoke with a start. It was Ruben, screaming. Pleading. 

You flung the covers off and dashed out of bed, racing to your puffy pink robe and slippers, shaking as you put them on. Ruben’s shrieks grew louder, hailing from the living room. 

As you were just about to open the bedroom door, the voice of another man boomed: “You know why I’m here.” 

You stopped in your tracks. He sounded ferocious, his voice much gruffer and deeper than your husband’s, or any other man for that matter. Blood rushed to your head as you tried to come up with a plan of action. 

“No, please no,” Ruben pleaded. “I didn’t know!”

“Shut the fuck up!” 

A crash. 

A shudder shot down your spine. Your hands shook as you reached for the door handle. You twisted it, careful not to make the door hinges creak. 

“Please, please don’t kill me!”

“Once I’m done with you, you’ll wish I’d have killed you, you monster. I’m going to take everything you love away from you, just like you took everything away from me.”

You peeped an eyeball through the crack in the door and caught sight of a large shadow looming over the living room. 

“God, no, please! I was just doing my job, I didn’t know what they were going to do with what I built!”

“Like fuck you did, you piece of shit. You knew what you were creating.” 

Who was this man? What did he want with your husband? You didn’t have time to ponder before the horror of Ruben crawling across the floor sent you over the edge. You clasped a hand over your mouth to stifle your scream. He was covered in blood, his perfect face bruised.

Pounding footsteps echoed across the room, and one enormous hand reached down and grabbed the collar of Ruben’s shirt, pulling him back out of your sight. The mystery man’s hands were red, blood red. 

“Oh no you don’t. You’re comin’ with me, pal.” 

Ruben squealed and retched. 

You slunk out from behind the bedroom door and tiptoed down the hallway, your back against the wall. 

“Where are you taking me?” Ruben’s voice sounded weaker and weaker.

“To Hell, where you belong.”

You took a deep breath, tears streaming down your face, before peeping around the corner into the living room. Ruben was on the floor, and the man… 

No. Not a man. A monster. 

He had his back to you, but he was so tall his head nearly scraped the popcorn ceilings. Not only were his hands red, but his whole body. He was frighteningly muscular, and you knew he could snap you and your husband in two with one finger. Everything caved in around you and your vision darkened. A hole grew within you and you felt yourself sinking into it. 

The monster dragged your husband over to a circle with strange etchings on the floor, hoisting him up to stand straight. Suddenly, the circle lit up. 

You knew at once what was happening. And this demon was not about to take the only thing that mattered to you in life to hell. Without thinking, you sprinted to your husband. Time slowed down as you ran, like you were treading water. You knocked Ruben out of the way in a split second, and he fell on the ground, out of the circle. You spun around and caught a flash of the demon’s horrid, snarling face. His eyes bore into your soul, then widened at the realization of what you’d just done as a flash of light spread throughout the living room. The place you had come to call home faded away as a ribbon of white strangled you and carried you off.

Chapter Two

You awoke to a strange scent. It was not the candlewick smell of home, but of ash and dust and smoke.

Coughing, you sat up. Wherever you were, it was suffocatingly dark.

“Finally. Thought you’d never wake up,” a familiar gruff voice snarled.

Footsteps echoed before bright light tore into your eyes. You leaned back, covering your face with your hands. 

“Up and at ‘em, sunshine.”

“Wh-where am I?” Your voice sounded so tired.

“Take a look around, princess.” 

You opened your eyes. A dingy motel room. You felt the scratchy covers beneath you. Dust covered every inch of the place.

You looked up, and saw it standing menacingly at the windows, hand on the ugly burgundy curtains.

You wanted to scream, but the sound got caught in your dry throat.

“Don’t scream. I’ve had enough torture for one day.”

“Why did you bring me here? What have you done with my husband?!” 

“Your husband,” the demon growled, “is at an emergency hospital getting his wounds treated. He’ll recover.”

You took a deep breath as a wave of relief crashed into you. All that mattered was that Ruben was safe and away from this thing. Whatever torture he would undoubtedly inflict upon you, you could handle it. But not your Ruben.

“What do you want with me?”

“What do I–” He leaned back and laughed, a dark harrowing sound. “I didn’t even know you existed before last night. You weren’t exactly part of my plan, princess.”

You shuddered at the nickname. “Don’t call me that again.”

“Or what?” He crossed his arms. Thick black hairs sprawled up across them, contrasting against his blood red skin. 

He was awfully well dressed for a demon, you had to admit. A white button down shirt that he had rolled up to his elbow, and tight black pants and black dress shoes. 

“Staring me up and down, eh? Isn’t that considered rude where you come from?” he challenged. 

Your mind fogged up. You weren’t clear headed enough to be sparring words with a demon. 

“But to answer your question,” he moved away from the window, pacing about the tiny motel room, “I have no clue what the fuck I’m going to do with you.” His eyes sparked fiery red. “I only was approved for one trip to Earth to carry out my plan, and I come back with the wrong guy. Do you know how much paperwork I had to file just to come back empty-handed?” 

You paused to think. “Then what did you want with my husband?”

“That’s not exactly information I can just give out, princess. Oops–” he raised his fingers to his mouth in feigned innocence. “Forgot you don’t like to be called that.”

You looked down at your lap. Your hands were bloodstained, you presumed from when you had pushed Ruben out of the way.

“How did I get here?”

“You fainted on the portal ride over. Been knocked out ever since.”

“I meant— in the bed.”

He fell silent. “Well, I didn’t just wanna drag ya. I’m not a monster.”

So he carried you. Great.

“I still don’t really know where I am.” You tried to look out the window, but it was too bright outside to make out anything other than white dust. “In the desert somewhere?”

“Kinda. You’re at the border between worlds.”

Your eyes bugged out. “What?!”

“Don’t worry. You’re still safe, at least here you are.”

You shot up out of bed, thankful to see you still had your robe and slippers on. “What do you mean, border between worlds? Am I still on Earth? Is this hell? Purgatory?”

“A purgatory of sorts, I suppose.”

You marched your way over to the window. It was just, nothing. Blank. White. 

“This is the inspection point between Earth and the other worlds,” he explained, turning around to face outside. “Peaceful, yeah?”

“No! Not peaceful! Where is— anything!” You pressed your face up against the windowpane. Dust caked up on your skin.

“There is a diner nearby. I’ll take you there.”

“A diner? In this hell?”

“Oh, trust me. Hell ain’t nothin’ like this, hon.” 

Tears welled up in your eyes. “I just wanna go home…”

“Welp, you made your decision last night when you jumped into my portal at the last second.”

“I was only trying to save my husband!” You faced him, standing up on your tippy-toes to be taller. It was the first time you’d really gotten a close up look at his face. His nose and mouth were turned upward in a permanent sneer. His eyes were dark, black, cold. Although you could have sworn at some point you’d seen them burn fiery red. His hair was jet black, slicked back with gel and neatly combed. And of course his face was just the awfullest shade of blood red. 

“That was your first mistake.” He gnashed his fangs together and then tore away from you. 

You scoffed. 

“Come on, get dressed,” you heard him say from behind.

“With what? It’s not like I—” You turned around. The demon opened a wardrobe full of the most magnificent clothes you’d ever seen. They were just dazzling, a rainbow of different colors. Within the backdrop of the dingy room, it was like a butterfly batting its iridescent wings against the hood of a rusty old truck.

“I figured you probably had pretty extravagant taste, at least based off of that ridiculous robe and slippers.” 

You pretended not to hear him calling your outfit ridiculous as you rushed over to the clothes. “Did you just go out and buy these?” You felt the fabric of each and every one of them.

“Nope. Conjured them up.”

“Oh my goodness! Thank—”

You caught yourself and let go of the fabric. “Wait. No.” This had to be some kind of trick. You took a few steps back from him and the wardrobe. “This isn’t right. You tried to kill my husband last night and I want to know why.”

“Like I said, princess—”

You shriveled up your face.

“That’s not something I can just reveal to anybody.”

“Then why are you treating me to all these clothes? Why take me to eat at a diner? Why not just kill me here and now?!”

“I have to have a permit to go out and kill people, sweetheart. And you aren’t exactly worth the paperwork. I have no reason to kill you.”

“Oh, but my husband was fair game?”

He gave you a long hard look over before licking his lips and stuffing his hulk hands in his pockets. “You don’t know the first thing about your husband, do you? Tell me, what does he do for work?”

“He—” Your face softened.

“That’s what I thought.” He moved away from the wardrobe, to the other side of the room. “You are just an innocent bystander who happened to get caught in my portal. It would not look good on my record for me to kill you, so I won’t. I’ll just make the most of our time together while I figure out what the fuck I’m gonna do with you.” 

Your breaths quickened. “So, I’m just— just supposed to live with you?”

“Don’t worry, I have a nice spot picked out for us.” You thought you saw the slightest smirk on his face.

Your features mushed together, and for the first time since meeting this demon, you screamed.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

could you write a little something about Rowan x reader where reader is Lorcan’s little sister

It’s been a hot minute since we stepped into tog’s universe…

Part II

The light we cannot see

You were the only source of light in life that Lorcan had. He had given up on life, on the right thing, on the fact that there could be good things gracing this land. But every time the last drop of light was threatened to be snuffed out, you brought it back. You held onto it with both hands. Your love was what kept him fighting. What kept him getting out of bed. His little dark-haired sister. A promise of danger with the kindness of heart.

“Anyone’s up for seconds?”, your voice fills the side dining room, pot slung on your hip as you strolled in. Maeve as much as she used them wasn’t the dine-with-me type so even her closest ate away from her chambers. “When they are coming from your hands, always”, Fenrys chirped, “I would eat poison from you”, he throws you a wink as you scoop another portion of stew into his bowl while rolling your eyes. “Careful, dreams come true”, Lorcan grunted, eyes fixed on the white wolf. Whose purpose in life seemed to be pissing Lorcan off. “I can shove it down your throat”, the table grew still, the threats didn’t surprise anyone by now but Lorcan’s sharp tone still made everyone halt. “Just joking, man. Y/n tell him that I’ve been behaving”, Fenrys pleaded making you chuckle, “I don’t know, have you?” The table echoed with laughter. “Don’t push me into the flames, love”, the white wolf clenched at his heart before turning his attention back to his food. But it was your hand that Lorcan’s eyes fell on. How it lingered on Rowan’s shoulders as you walked past him. How Rowan looked up. A strange sort of longing burning in his gaze. Lorcan lowered his spoon. Assessing eyes drinking you both in. And here it was the quickly shared looks, the slight nods. It couldn’t possibly be…

The rules applied to everyone. No one could come close to you. He wouldn’t allow it. They were all murderers. All were chained to a sadist who was willing and ready to do anything to break them. You were already hung up in front of him. You were already in danger because you shared blood with him and Lorcan hated himself for it. But to add another target on your back. To chain you to another person. To give her a reason to flung you around like a makeshift weapon. No, he wasn’t gonna allow it.

“You know you might just stare straight through the door if you keep glaring at it so hard”, Gabriel’s voice filled Lorcan’s ears as he blinked. He hadn’t even realized that he had zoned out. That you had left the room. “Have you…”, he cuts himself off, debating slightly as if he could voice his inner monologue, “Have you seen anything suspicious lately?” The older male shoots the darkness wielder a look. “As in threats in the city? No, it’s been calm down there”, Gavriel dabs at his lips with a napkin. Lorcan shakes his head, “Here, in the house. Have you noticed things… shifting”. “Lorcan be straight with it”, Gavriel states firmly, “You train Y/n, have you noticed anything strange”, he’s not sure why he stirs the conversation there but that’s where his mind takes him, and now that he’s grasping at nothing, he can use any detail.

“I wouldn’t be able to tell you”, the lion shrugs, making Lorcan shoot him a look of his own. “Maeve, shifting my guard times, Rowan is training with Y/n now. From what I’ve heard it’s going great”, he says it so casually as if he doesn’t seem to grasp the importance of the information he just shared. Not to mention that with everyone still being mid-meal Rowan gets up, waffling something about refilling the wine jugs. “I bet it is”, Lorcan watches him leave, “I bet it’s going wonderfully”, clamping his jaw he manages to take five breaths before he’s pushing his chair back.

A big part of him is hoping he would see just that. Just Rowan filling up the jugs. With you far away from him. He thinks about striding in. Making a big scene. But he halts, turning to the side pantry instead. Cracking the door ajar ever so slightly. “I can’t stay for long, too many men in the main hall”, Rowan mutters, brushing a strand of your black hair away and off your shoulders. “I was promised a night together”, you muse crossing your arms over your chest. “And I will keep my promise. Have I given you reason to doubt my promises before”, Rowan steps forward, a smile on his face. Your hands snake around his neck as you pull him in closer. “Maybe I need a reminder”, you hum, the mischievous eyes gleaming. “Is that so?”, Rowan tries to hide his smirk as he leans closer, “Let me remind you then”.

But his lips never meet yours and when you open your eyes it’s to him being pushed to the other side of the kitchen. “Lorcan”, you rasp out, moving to get closer to your older brother. Who had smashed a jug on his way, its shard now pressing against Rowan’s throat. “You lying filthy bastard”, he grits through his teeth, “The silent pig does dig the sweetest of crops, doesn’t it”. But Rowan’s gaze doesn’t falter. “Lor, I can explain”, you tug at his arm, “This doesn’t have to be this way”, you plead.

“What happened to us not having secrets, hmm?”, his angry gaze crashes into you. “I was gonna tell you”, you whine, “I was, I just didn’t want…”, “When”, he cuts you off, “Tell me when? when he screwed you pregnant and left you by some in to venture for yourself?”, his words make you stagger back. You can see the regret painting his features. But it was too late the words had met their mark. “Yn”, Lorcan breathes out, pushing off Rowan as he turns to you. You shake him off, moving across the kitchen. “I didn’t…”, “Save it. I heard you loud and clear”, you bite back, “I’m honored that you think so highly of your family”, you pull your apron off, throwing it on the table before yanking the patio door open. “Nice one”, Rowan chuckles bitterly from behind him, “You know, for someone who swore to protect her, you’re doing mighty shit work”. The males come face to face. And for the first time in a while, Lorcan realizes that maybe he doesn’t know the soldier fighting alongside him. “I should crush you beneath my feet”, Lorcan growls. “By all means”, Rowan is quick to stand even taller, “Just then you might find yourself utterly lonely in this bleak world”. His words jab Lorcan harder than any blade could. “Now if you excuse me, I have a crying partner to console, her brother is a jackass”, and with that he’s pushing past Lorcan, hitting his shoulder as he moves forward. Leaving Lorcan to stand on his own.

[bucked-it-up]

BuckTommy Fluff & Angst 764 words

Buck got home in the late evening, tired after a long shift of back-to-back calls with seemingly no break. He was dead on his feet, ready to maybe eat and then get straight into bed. His mind was spinning, thinking about anything and everything that he could stress about, no matter how small. Did he say something wrong to a patient? Maybe the facial expression from another firefighter meant he had done wrong? So many trivial things that he couldn't quiet.

As he stepped through the door fiddling with his keys, he realised that someone else was in the loft. He could smell food, hear movement. He looked up and saw Tommy in the kitchen, humming to himself, moving around to different pots on the stove. He looked happy. Comfy. Like he belonged.

"Evan!" Buck was startled out of his daze. "Come sit, dinner will be soon."

Buck finished taking his coat off and put his bag aside. Walking over to the table he still had thoughts spiralling through his head but maybe they were quieter. He pulled out a chair and sat down. Tommy had already laid the table and Buck was just sort of staring at it. So often he had cooked for someone else to come home, he had set the table, greeted them. It was odd to be on the other side. Why had he never been on this side? Was it something he had done? What was different now that allowed this?

His thought process was interrupted with a plate being put down in front of him and a soft "Evan?"

He looked up and saw Tommy's face painted in concern, he could see all the layers to it. Nerves. Sadness. Anger. Disappointment? Why was there disappointment? What had he done? Before he could spiral again, he felt a hand on his arm, he felt like he had been pulled back into the present.

"Evan, I'm worried." There was that concern again. "You've barely said anything, since you came in. What's going on?"

Buck could feel his heartbeat faster, his chest gets tighter, breathing felt like a chore. His words didn't want to come out. What if he ruined this? What if telling Tommy scared him away? What- Oh.

Arms had wrapped around him, his face pressed into something warm. "You don’t have to say anything now, Evan but I am here. I am not going anywhere."

Buck felt a release. It was like everything that had happened that and before came crashing through him, fighting to find a way out. The way that it found was tears, tears that never felt like they would end. Tears that also felt freeing. He felt like his mind was pushing itself through the fog, away from the spiral down.

He pulled back away from Tommy, looking at his face wanting to see what he would fine. Maybe a part of it was the spiral looming wanting to reach out, call to him, bring him back into its slippery slope. All Buck could see was Love, made with layers of concern, nerves, sadness, anger, disappointment.

"Today was hard." He finally got out. It was small and quiet but also so loud. It felt so powerful to admit that. It was another step away from the panicked questions, from the alluring spiral. "I'm so grateful for you."

Tommy's face softened; his arms moved so that one was on Buck's face. He leaned down and caught Buck's lips in a soft kiss. "Let's eat, you need it."

Tommy moved from where he was crouching at Bucks chair, to opposite him and sat. Buck lifted his fork, filled with food, to his mouth and when he had a taste all he could think was how it felt like home. Like warmth. Like comfort.

Buck and Tommy while a rocky start to the evening were able to then have a peaceful time. They ate food, watched TV pressed against each other, sharing kisses and love. They made it to bed, under the covers, skin against skin.

"Today was hard." Buck began, loud in the quietness. "I couldn't rest, all I could think were these questions that kept making me second guess everything. I couldn't stop. It felt relentless."

Tommy brought an arm over Buck's waist, pressing small kisses against Buck's neck and shoulders. "But you helped. You helped me step away, helped me stop. I love you."

There was another small kiss to his neck before Tommy replied, "I love you too, Evan. Anytime, I will be here for you anytime. Like you are for me."

[apolloendymion]

ok! i think tumblr ate my fucking apple cider recipe post. still, my autumn equinox tradition must carry on!

Apollo's Foolproof From-Scratch Apple Cider That Was So Good It Allegedly Landed Me A Boyfriend

you will need:

12 apples (the variety is up to you, i usually do half granny smith and half whatever's on sale plus a red delicious for garnishing)

10oz raisins

cinnamon sticks, whole cloves, star anise, nutmeg, allspice, cardamom pods, any other warming spices u like (whole > ground) (follow ur heart on the amounts, it's like garlic just throw so much in there. just go wild)

1 orange

brown sugar (i don't have measurements but be prepared to use a LOT lmao, i always buy at least one 32oz bag. you'll be sweetening to taste.)

large pot with lid

potato masher (optional)

two large bowls/pots/receptacles to strain the cider into

fine mesh strainer

cheesecloth or coffee filters (optional)

apple corer or knife

citrus zester

slotted spoon or ladle

the steps:

1. scrub apples gently under hot water to remove grocery store wax coating. core apples making sure all seeds & stems are removed. add apples, raisins, and mulling spices to pot with enough water to fully cover ingredients, and bring to boil. reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 1 hour.

2. scrub orange to remove wax. zest and juice, avoiding the pith & seeds. use a potato masher or other utensil to lightly mash boiled apple mixture so every apple slice is at least partially broken up, then add the zest & juice to the pot. bring back to boil, reduce heat, cover, and simmer for another hour. then turn off the heat and allow mixture to cool.

3. place two mesh strainers over two bowls or pots (and cover each with a cheesecloth or coffee filters, if you have them). with a slotted spoon or ladle, remove as much of the solids from the pot as you can and place them in one strainer (the larger one, if they are different sizes) to drain, then press out as much liquid into the cheesecloth as possible.

4. pour the cider from the simmer pot into the second cheesecloth and press. combine the liquid from both bowls.

5. add brown sugar to taste

cooking tips:

the times listed above are bare minimums. once all the ingredients are in the pot (minus sugar!) you can simmer as long as you want, so long as someone's nearby to supervise.

always add any sweeteners after the cooking process. otherwise, they'll burn and make the whole thing bitter.

if it's too acidic, add baking soda or more spices. if it's not acidic enough, add lemon juice, additional orange juice, or apple cider vinegar.

variations:

add 12oz fresh cranberries to the first step

sub oranges for lemons or apple cider vinegar

sub brown sugar for straight molasses, maple syrup, or alternative sweetener of your choice (I'd imagine fig or other fruit-based sweeteners would work best)

report back to me if you try something new!! i want to hear how it turned out!

serving suggestions:

add three or four cinnamon imperials (red hots) to your mug, along with a dash of fireball whiskey if you're so inclined. i cannot stress enough how fucking amazing this tastes.

garnish with apple slices, orange slices, cinnamon sticks, and/or star anise

if you have dairy-free ice cream on hand, pour some cider over a scoop. you can use dairy ice cream, but it's more likely to curdle.

freeze some in an ice cube tray, then blend with some non-frozen cider for a slushie

ok I've never tried this, but i bet blending with pumpkin puree would slap. PLEASE tell me if you try it

this makes a metric fuckload of cider, which is very rich and can be watered down considerably (seriously). share with your friends and/or freeze some to last the season (or halve it, i guess, but that's no fun :P)

[tenjiiku]

watari / au

the chronicles of a retired cannibal and his budding (alleged) serial killer neighbour

Michael Kaiser returns to his abode after his work trip, Monday evening — inexplicably vexed towards the World and Y/n. There is no particular order to his annoyance. But the urge to sink his teeth into the earthy ground and the putrid girl’s neck are one and the same. He could fulfill both compulsions at once and still find a way to feel unsatisfied. On the surface, she seems like anyone else. But Michael knows. He knows what the girl is better than she does, herself. He ate women like her for breakfast. Lunch and dinner too. Occasionally. He used to, in his teens. But it is harder to maintain an alibi when you have developed a severe case of stiff back in your thirties. No less hunting someone down for sport. It used to be easier back home. Japan’s scenery has a way of dulling a man for all he is worth.

Michael wants to crush it all.

He thinks he likes her, though. Sure, he often wants to shoot the young woman straight in the head and feast on her flesh that calls out to him like a canary’s tune — but there is some charm in the girl.

Y/n reminds him a lot of himself, you see.

He has only seen her a few times since he moved to the utterly abandoned apartment complex somewhere in Sendai which he now calls home; but each time has been remarkably vivid. Once, she was wearing nothing but a bikini top as a shirt and jean shorts, carrying two large bags filled with groceries in early May. Another, in the laundromat by the residence — humming a show tune, her voice vibrating with the dryer she sits upon, sparing him no mind. Recently, more wantonly — Michael had spotted her by his door to his apartment, pushed up against it by a man taller than her (Humiliatingly, taller than Michael himself as well). He saw a glimpse of her face being utterly devoured in ways which he thought were only possible for people in their late twenties to discover (How she had done that with her tongue, still looking appetizing as ever — Michael had to give the woman some credit). She had all but spared him a half-lidded glance from across the man’s shoulder and rolled over to push the stranger up against her door, instead. Michael remembers just staring.

But before he could say anything — she was already whisked away into her own place.

He hadn’t heard the man scream, strangely. But the tall fellow hadn’t left her residence for days to follow. Michael wonders how Y/n does it so efficiently — not leaving a trace of their existence behind.

And, presently, he spots her sitting outside her door, squatting by a wilted potted plant — presumably tending to the debilitated creature.

He almost mistakes her voice with the cicadas — him suffering a hallucination due to the Summer heat being a more likely cause than the woman striking up a conversation with him.

But it is real. He is turned to his door, when her saccharine voice calls for him.

“Good day, is it not, Kaiser-san?”

He feels himself go into auto-pilot — having rehearsed the lines he would tell her if she were to ever entertain herself with him. He does not even find himself questioning how she knows his surname. The woman gets around — she is all knowing and spectacularly aware of it. Michael wants to scoff, a little.

Amateur. It was cute.

“Sure.”

“Apologies for last night, sir. My date had too much to drink. Confused our doors.”

It’s funny. She almost sounds apologetic. Michael almost feels sorry for the man she managed to sink her claws in.

“It’s… fine…”

She tilts her head cutely. Dressed in a thin pair of light blue overalls, Michael grows suddenly aware that he is looking down at her chest. Sizeable it may be, but it did not make his act any less perverse. He shifts his eyes, and coughs. The sight does not make him uncomfortable — but he realizes he should at least act a little human. The woman places her hands on her knees, seemingly having no qualms of sitting down on the floor by her doorway.

“I feel awful. Really, I would have thrown a fit at myself, if I was in your position. And I did. Twice this morning.”

Curious and amused, Michael asks, “How?”

“I gave myself a cold shower. Then I waxed my legs,” she explains, almost animatedly. “Clean as I may be, it was hellish. Really, Kaiser-san. Believe me — I did not feel good.”

Michael huffs at her strange demeanour and at what she constitutes as a punishment. She was both demure and bold. He’s never seen anything quite like it in a woman. He also tries to block out the image of her showering and softening her already plump skin.

“I… am glad,” he answers.

When the doe-eyed lady (is she doe-eyed? Michael does not know if that is what you would call it. But her eyes are wide as saucers, almost encompassing her entire face when she enlarges them — tantalizingly glistening with a need he wants to fulfill, for whatever reason) does not respond, and simply gazes at him with curiosity — Michael cannot help but feel the need to offer her to come into his apartment for a while.

His knees almost buckle when she responds with a yes, and gets onto her feet to reach him.

“It is settled, then?” She sings, dancing on the tips of her toes.

Michael can only nod and stare dumbly at the cut under her left eye. It wasn’t there before, a few weeks ago. It almost looks like the poor man had tried to fight back.

“How wonderful! It is too beautiful of a day to be feeling guilty. Is it not, Kaiser-san. Is it not?”

He looks down at his hand, unlocking his door and turning the knob but not opening it. “It’s nice.”

He turns to see if Y/n is still looking at him. She is closer in proximity, inches away from his shoulders. He scratches the back of his head and she tilts her head, gesturing to his door.

Michael opens the door, letting the alleged murderer into his apartment complex.

He reckons he should strike up a conversation with her. It is not everyday he encounters someone so much like him.

“The azaleas by the entrance are blooming.”

“Yes, yes! They are. So beautiful, are they not?”

“Mhm.”

Michael reaches his kitchen island. He goes behind it, while Y/n decides to remain across from him. She hops onto one of the stools, and he lets her watch him put his groceries away. He can sense her eyes scanning his place. Michael lives frugally — not many decorations other than cut out pieces of newspaper advertisements he found aesthetically pleasing.

He feels Y/n’s eyes on his neck, his bleached hair tickling at the base of his neck.

“If only my Watari would bloom,” Y/n sighs out in the open.

Michael prolongs the conversation before even realizing it.

“Watari…?”

“My asagao. Morning glory. For whatever reason, I cannot get him to grow.”

And never mind the fact that his murderer — who is also a plant enthusiast, it seems — has a name for her morning glories. The fact that she refers to it as a person peeks Michael’s interest. People like them should not seek pleasure in otherworldly matters if those pleasures were anything but fleeting.

Maybe Michael has grown too old. Kids these days are more advanced than he was. They will chew on your flesh and find happiness in the world without you in it. He briefly wonders if she usually rehearses this same dialogue with all of her victims. Or, perhaps Michael is special.

“I had him in my balcony for the longest of times. Then, my bedroom. Then the kitchen. No matter where I place it, no matter how attentively I water, it refuses to bloom.”

Y/n complains like some sort of petulant, spoiled teenager. Michael wonder if human remains stunt plant growth. He has not tested the theory himself, and with a woman chewing on her bottom lip sitting only a foot away from him is enough for him to finally allow himself to fantasize about this.

He wonders if she is even taking about her morning glory at this point.

“Kaiser-san, your blessings for my Watari would be appreciated at this time. I know I do not deserve them — horrible and filthy as I am — it would mean quite a lot for someone as terrible as myself—,” she starts. But Michael is starting to itch. He turns his back away from her, turning on the sink.

“You have my well wishes.” He spits out, a bit out of breath, “It’s fine.”

It is silent. Michael wonders if she is looking at him like prey. The concept makes the corner of his lips twitch. He lifts a hand to cover his smile. This is the most excited he has been since moving to this place.

“Really, Kaiser-san? Really?”

Still, with his back turned — he lets her think about him a while longer. He wonders how she plans on killing him. Maybe she will take a long route. Reel him in with cherry coloured lips, sheer blouses, a sweet, light voice murmuring his name like a siren song. Michael wouldn’t put it past the girl.

So, he decides to play along.

“Water under the bridge,” he waves, finally turning to look the girl in the eye. She is, of course, still staring. And it seems like something out of a horror film — the way her eyes had darkened, her lips are moist as though she had just licked them, and she looks utterly ravenous.

But she bids him a farewell. “Good day, Kaiser-san.”

So Michael figures that this is it, for today. “Good day.”

When she steps out of his door, Michael makes sure to wait five minutes — until he is certain she has gone from his general vicinity. And he laughs. He laughs until tears escape his eyes. He laughs, stomach starting to hurt but he cannot stop.

He will have his teeth in her by the end of the Summer.

That is to say, only if she doesn’t have her own in his skin, first.

[redivia]

'I think it's time for bed' Ghost x Reader

Summary: Simon fell asleep on the couch after coming home from work.

Authors note: Heyy! So this is my first ever story. I never thought I would write anything let alone post it, but here we are. Also it has to be said that I don't have a beta reader so if you notice any errors or mistakes kindly point them out in the comments. English isn't my first language so I might have missed some errors. Have fun reading! <3 This is also posted on AO3 .

You were sitting on the couch together with Ghost, or how he wants you to call him, Simon. Outside you could hear the wind blowing through the leaves of various bushes and trees surrounding your joint home. Since it’s been getting colder, the wind was accompanied by some light rain. Not the kind of rain that leaves you drenched if you even think about stepping outside, but the kind that makes the nicest pitter patter noises on your roof. If you listened carefully, you could even, make out the water making its way across the roof and cascading down the rain gutters that ran along the side of your home.

Simon came home a few hours ago, seemingly pretty tired and ready to go to bed, but his face lit up and adorned a fatigued smile once he saw you. You welcomed your boyfriend home with a much-awaited hug and a gentle kiss. Together you ate dinner. During your dinner you made sure to make light conversation with him. Talking about how the weather suddenly switched up on you while you were walking home, or how there was a sale on your favourite snack at your local store and you were therefore indirectly forced to stock up again.

Dinner wasn't really anything that took tons of effort, but it was still as comforting as ever. A simple one pot pasta had to make do for tonight, but for Simon, he might as well could have been at a Michelin star restaurant. Having to rely on MRE's as his main source of calories during his time at work, has set his standards for food very low. A warm meal? With his partner? At home? He might as well be in heaven. Simon made sure to show you his gratitude in the form of cleaning up the dishes afterwards.

Which in all honesty, could have just been shoved into the dish washer and called it a day, yet he insisted on doing them by hand. Meanwhile you were sat next to him on the countertop and listened to him complaining about some new recruits that were trying to turn everything into a competition.

Being able to look at his face and watch his emotions flicker across his face while he was telling a story has always been one of your favourite aspects of your relationship. Simon swore a long time ago that he won’t be wearing his mask around the house, and you’ve been grateful that he stuck to his promise. The privilege of getting to see his face wasn’t something Simon granted to just anyone, and you are well aware of the fact. Making it even more special to you.

The story about the recruits ended in them trying to sabotage and deliberately throw other comrades off of the obstacle course. Some poor rookie had to get stiches because he fell off of the wall they were meant to jump over. But Simon witnessed how the recruit behind him gave the guy in front a not-so-gentle push, because the poor guy was moving too slowly for his taste. It goes without saying that Ghost delivered a long and proper talking to and maybe some extra rounds of running for the saboteur.

While his story came to a close, Simon had also finished the dishes. You both agreed that you only had enough energy left for a movie before deciding on heading to bed.

So that's how you found yourself and your boyfriend sat on the couch in your living room, watching whatever action movie that was currently running on the TV. You listened to Simon ramble and rant about how inaccurate basically every single aspect of the movie was. How they held the guns wrong, shooting for 5 minutes straight without reloading once, not to mention the amount of ammunition they would need to carry with them for them to be able to shoot as much as they were.

All you could do was listen to him with a small grin on your face. Only Simon would be able to pick apart some movie that was clearly produced in some warehouse in Hollywood, with a plot that never even saw the inside of a writer’s room. But of course, you supported your boyfriend in his strong opinions and joined him in his rant.

It must have been about an hour into the movie when you noticed Simon had stopped talking to you. You risked a small glance over at him and saw he was properly passed out. The stress of the day at work must have finally caught up to him. Taking the liberty, you turned down the volume of the TV just a couple of notches, making it so that the movie was now just background noise.

When you were designing the living room you deliberately chose a three-seater couch, ensuring that there would always be enough space for you and Simon to stretch out without hogging the space from the other. Leaning into his side of the couch, your boyfriends arms sat limply at his sides, his right hand placed on your thigh just above your knee.

Normally he would be stroking his thumb gently from side to side as a reminder that he was still there. Honestly you should have noticed that he was asleep once his ministrations ceased. You took a moment to admire how is face changed depending on whatever light flickered across the screen in front of the both of you. In your opinion, he looked the nicest in a subtle orangish tone, the warm light bringing out his faint freckles and blond lashes. Although the universe refused to grace you with your all-time favourite feature of his, his eyes. You would have to make do with Simon’s for once peaceful expression.

Peaceful, but not relaxed, you noticed. There was still a light crease between his eyebrows, even while sleeping he still seemed stressed. Thinking of possibilities to diminish his stress, you gently picked up the hand that was previously placed on your thigh, without waking him up. Simon’s large and warm hand lay limply in yours, and you started to gently massage his hand.

Running your fingers across his knuckles and the back of his hand. Making sure to appreciate every single small cut and faded scar along the way. You carefully turned his hand palm side up and started to massage the palm of his hand with both of your thumbs. The rest of your fingers were supporting what was now the underside of his hand. Your thumbs dug into the muscles of his palm running across all of the folds and creases, before moving to his fingers.

Feeling his fingerprints underneath your fingertips made it feel like he was your missing puzzle piece you have been searching for all your life. Two separate people coming together to make a whole. You couldn’t stop the smile that was now plastered on your face.

Glancing back at Simon, his eyebrows seemed to have relaxed a bit, but not enough for your liking. You had to take drastic action. You lifted your dominant hand to his face you stroked your thumb across the space between his eyebrows in hopes of completely erasing his frown. Your mission was a success, he stopped frowning.

However, he was now blearily blinking awake. The universe obviously had chosen to show mercy today and decided to grace you with his dreamy eyes once again. Your hand slid a bit lower, now resting on his cheek, your thumb still lazily stroking the side of his face.

With a small smile you told him: 'I think it’s time for bed'.