#this was fun and also mostly written between the hours of 2-5 am lmao

[cant-icle]

:D Thank you for answering my question!!! Okay this prompt might be a little strange and a little spooky. But what if Akira could see ghosts and the phantom thieves were literal phantoms. Akira goes to tokyo and People r cruel. But on first day at Shujin he meets a blonde kid and befriends him. Rumors about the scary transfer happen but now people also say that he goes off into corners n talks to himself.He finds the only living person at shujin who likes him isnt really a living person at all..

He says his name is Ryuji.

No one else can see him; Akira’s barely able to some days,with how translucent and wavery he looks. He stands at the stairway leadingdown to the first floor most days, shoulders against the wall and cold fire inhis eyes until Akira’s out of class. It took him three days to realize thatRyuji, as much as he wears the uniform like everyone around, probably isn’t astudent of Shujin Academy anymore.

Honestly, Akira prefers his company, even more so when Ryujishows him how to break onto the school roof. It’s less breaking than it isRyuji stepping through and fussing with the lock—the perks of being a phantom,Akira guesses. Lunches and afternoons are much more bearable with a secretplace to retreat to and a new friend to talk to.

Ironic, isn’t it, that the only person in this fucking citythat isn’t afraid of him is already dead?

Ryuji’s pretty talkative for a dead boy. He walks with alimp, and sometimes out of the corner of his eye Akira sees splashes of blooddripping down from his temple to stain his shirt. He scowls fiercely when Akiraasks about it, though, and the music Akira has playing from his phone cracklesin time with his voice when he details how Kamoshida Suguru, the gym teacher,crippled him with a blow to the leg and then, when his back was turned, whenRyuji was trying to crawl away, another to the back of his head.

He was never charged; the school passed it off as“justifiable self-defense,” and Ryuji’s been stuck haunting these effin’ hallsever since.

“He treats this place like it’s an effin’ castle and he’sthe goddamn king,” Ryuji tells him seriously, pale and washed-out in thesunlight; he’s so much easier to see indoors, but he likes it out here on theroof with Akira; Akira gets the feeling that Ryuji’s been trapped in thosehallways for longer than he wants to think about.

Sometimes they’re joined by another pair of flickeringshadows, neither ever as clear as Ryuji or as talkative—in fact, he never hearsthe black-haired one speak, and the second blonde only glares when Akira triesto address her. Ryuji tells Akira not to take it to heart—Suzui Shiho is justanother one of Kamoshida’s victims, and Takamaki Ann is tied to her like aguideline—wherever one goes, so does the other, and Shiho is stuck here untileither she’s removed or Kamoshida gets his just desserts.

Akira aches to help them. He watches them shimmer in thelight like an oil streak, watches them pass through walls and doors; if hesquints, he can almost see the moment when they fold through reality to do it.

It’s stupid, but he wonders...

The next time Ryuji passes through a closed door, Akira putshis hand on it and shoves, just lightly. Of course it doesn’t move, but Ryujipokes his head through and laughs at his efforts, making a joking grab for hishand as if to—

it connects

Akira goes straight through, wispy and insubstantial as acloud, and suddenly it’s Shujin thatlooks like an oil slick smeared across the world and Ryuji who looks solid and real and as shocked as Akira.

But then he grins with a smile full of daggers, because thepossibilities here are endless.

They test it out again; another touch from Ryuji has himshivering back onto the physical plane. They can do it three or four timesbefore Akira starts getting nauseous, and while he’s intangible, while he’s aphantom, no one can see him.

He walks through the school in wonder—almost everything ismuted but for a few people, bright and sparkling in his vision; Kawakami-senseiis one, and when he passes by her he catches an uneasy aura around her, full ofgrief and guilt. Kamoshida, on the other hand, feels neither of those things,and flares red and angry in Akira’s sight.

He doesn’t like that. Not at all, not with Ryuji behind himwith blood on his face, not with Suzui behind Takamaki, their eyes blank whitevoids, their mouths gaping snarls. There’s a bright core to Kamoshida a samethrobbing red as his aura, and something in Akira yearns to reach out and touchit.

So he does.

Kamoshida shudders at the touch, shoulders hunching in as helooks around nervously, and something flares bright-hot-angry in Akira’s veins. It’s not right, what he did, what he’sstill doing. It’s not right.

He curls his fingers around that bright hot core , and he yanks.

For an instant he can see two Kamoshidas, one solid and real, one wavering and intangible,and in that moment the three ghosts behind him strike.

Lightning crackles up and down Ryuji’s arms as he leapsforward, his fist impacting straight into the phantom-Kamoshida; Suzui andTakamaki are barely a second behind, Takamaki little more than a pillar offlames, Suzui a form barely held together with wind. They strike withconcentrated force hard enough that the tangible Kamoshida rocks back and away,Akira losing his grip on the core of Kamoshida’s being, and the phantomflickers out of existence.

That’s okay. He knows what to do now.

With Ryuji’s help and Takamaki and Suzui’s encouragement (“Callme Shiho,” Suzui murmurs to him shyly, smiling a little when Akira grins ather) he writes a card, a calling card detailing each and every one of Kamoshida’scrimes and sliding it under his office door.

He signs it, “The Phantom Thief of Hearts.”

As soon as he’s read it Ryuji grabs onto Akira, and Akiragrabs onto the core and lets Ryuji, Shiho, and Takamaki (“Ann!” she says withvicious satisfaction after she lands another blow, “I think at this point wecan go to Ann.”) get to work.

The phantom-Kamoshida is reeling by the time they’re done;the tangible Kamoshida is in tears. They leave it at that, unwilling to makehim a ghost and tie him to the school as well.

There’s an assembly three days after that. Kamoshida confesseshis crimes in front of the entire school, and that afternoon when Akira leaves,Ryuji follows like an untethered balloon grinning wide and wild and free.

  They don’t stop there.

Shiho and Ann bring him rumors of a number of ghostsspiraling endlessly around an old ramshackle house; turns out it’s the abode ofone Madarame Ichiryusai, who (according to the ghosts, who to a one arecomprised of his old students) worked his students to literal death and stoletheir works for his own. The newest ghost, a tall, stick-thin boy whointroduces himself as Kitagawa, tries to make a case for his old sensei, butfaced with Ann, who is literally steaming, and Shiho, hair tossing in an unseenbreeze in her agitation, cuts himself short.

“He killed you,”Akira tells him, not ungently, not without sympathy. “I’m not here to getrevenge on him; I’m here to bring him to justice, for you and everyone else.”

Somehow he gains another ghost tethered to him, and Yusukebrings the north wind with him, an icy, howling gale that freezes the phantom-Madaramewhere he stands when all five Phantoms appear in front of him.

Madarame confesses his guilt on live television, andattributes his change of heart to the Phantom Thieves. Rumors spring up hereand there; eventually, Akira starts seeing more and more ghosts pop up at thecorners of his eyes, though it takes a long time for one to grow bold enough toapproach him on its own.

In his spare time now he flits through the metaphysicalreality with his new friends; the ghosts come to him, and he regains justice ontheir behalf. The rumors of the Phantom Thieves grow, and grow, and grow.

In June he meets the student council president of ShujinAcademy, one Niijima Makoto, who questions him fiercely; since she can’t proveanything, she lets him go, and he thinks nothing more of it until Shiho comesto him, frantic, and tells him that Niijima has gotten in way over her headwith an actual Mafioso.

It turns out that phantoms can do a hell of a number on aroom now; Ryuji shorts out the lights in delight, making them flickerominously, while Shiho flips cups and sends papers scattering everywhere.

It turns out that Akira can pass on his intangibility; hegrabs Niijima’s arm and drags her into the metaphysical with them. It turns outto be a fantastic move, as with her help the six of them bring Kaneshiro to hisknees.

He confesses everything to the police. The name of thePhantoms grow and grow, and this time Akira gains a friend that the rest of theworld can see.

He gains another not a month later; the ghost of one IsshikiWakaba materializes in front of him outside the café one day and all butdemands his help. It’s a bit of a struggle to break into his current guardian’shouse, but well worth it when he lays his hand on Sakura Futaba’s arm and letsher reunite with her mother, at least for a few moments. Isshiki-san had beenmurdered, it turns out, and Futaba had blamed herself and shut herself away inher guilt; this meeting goes a long way towards relieving her of it, enough sothat she shows up in the café later that evening to Sakura-san’s clearsurprise.

Between Futaba and Makoto, between Ryuji and Ann and Shihoand Yusuke, Akira’s days and nights are full; he’s content, if not happy, untilhe comes across a man that sends alarm bells blaring through his skull andmakes Isshiki-san howl in a way that sends chills up his spine.

Shido Masayoshi is surrounded by the ghosts of those he haskilled; Shido Masayoshi is the reason Akira is in Tokyo in the first place, renouncedby his parents and shunted into a city he doesn’t know for a crime he didn’tcommit.

Each and every one of Shido’s ghosts has heard of Akira’scoming. Each and every ghost cannot wait to see him fall.

Akira is so, so eager to oblige them.

[mithrilwren]

Fanfic ask game for procrastinating on writing, which as of this week is actually accurate, since I’m finally writing again! (or, more specifically, editing what I wrote two months ago so I can get back to writing.)

Tagged by @essektheylyss! Thank you, this is exactly the kind of activity my brain needed tonight.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

72! I was hovering at 69 for quite a while, sad to break the streak haha

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

~550K, which is somehow both more and less than what I expected

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Many, lmao. According to my Ao3 (omitting any blanket tags) I’ve got 22 there, plus at least two more over on ff.net from back in the day, and probably a couple more just on Tumblr. Most of them I’ve only written one fic for, though. I think the only fandoms where I’ve written more than one are Critical Role (35), Supernatural (15), Haikyuu!! (3), The Exorcist (2), Dimension 20 (2), and Yu-Gi-Oh! (2)

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Pick a Number, Any Number

Surprisingly, my number one is NOT a Critical Role fic, nor is it even one of my longer multi-chapters! It’s actually a one-shot I wrote for Haikyuu!! back in the day that took off far beyond what I expected. I wrote it for DaiSuga week, which was a ship I (to be completely honest) wasn’t even terribly invested in, but I had a fun idea and people seemed to like it! (It’s also much fluffier than what I usually write, which might be part of its broader appeal ;))

A Winter’s Ball

Unsurprisingly, the next four are all CR ;). This one was a M9 x VM crossover that I primarily wrote between the hours of 3-8am over the course of two insomnia-wracked nights and honestly, I think it shows in its uncharacteristically unstructured format (compared to my typical style, which tends to favour shorter scenes with very intentionally-placed breaks between, as opposed to scenes that flow into each other without pause). That’s not to say I think it’s a bad thing! The story, which follows Beau as she drifts through a party in Whitestone and observes the interactions between the various guests, actually flows better without that kind of interruption. This was also my first Beaujester piece. I started writing it right before Beau’s confession aired, and published it the week after, which definitely pushed me to make what had been only subtextual in the first half of my draft into the emotional lynchpin of the story.

Only the Nightingale Sings

I’m really glad this one still ranks as high as it does, because this story is absolutely my pride and joy. At one time (though I’m not sure that’s true anymore) it was the longest gen fic in the fandom, which is pretty cool! Plot-heavy, twist-heavy, angst-heavy, with seven points of view to follow and multiple interwoven storylines, it was a beast of a thing to write, and took almost exactly a year to finish, but the long process was oh-so worth it. Literally nothing makes me happier today than seeing a new comment or kudos on this story.

Closer Still

One of my earliest shadowgast fics, this one asks the question “how can you make the ‘stuck in an elevator trope’ fantasy?” The answer is, as always, demiplanes. This fic, perhaps more than any of my other shadowgast fics, is interesting to revisit, because it was written before the ep 97 reveal, but literally everything Essek does in it would suggest otherwise. It reads like I already knew he was a spy working with Trent, and yet I was firmly in the “Essek is NOT the spy” camp at the time. Gotta chalk that up to Matt telegraphing his growing guilt into the preceding episodes - even if I couldn’t see it, it was clearly there.

your dust from mine

My other novel-length CR multichapter, this fic brought me so much joy in the otherwise bleak summer of 2020. Most of my best memories of those four months come from working on this story. A Fjorclay adaption of The Goose Girl (my favourite fairytale) this story is about healing, growth, and figuring out what happiness means to you. While I know most people don’t read stories for this pairing anymore, for obvious reasons, I still cherish your dust from mine for how much of my heart I poured into it, and I look back on it with a huge amount of fondness.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do my absolute best to respond to every comment someone leaves on a story of mine, even if it occasionally takes a month or two. Replying to comments is one of my favourite parts of the fic-writing process - it gives me a chance to revisit peoples’ kind words and (often, incredibly insightful) observations, and I hope it also shows how appreciative I am of each and every one. 

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Though I write a lot of angst, I honestly tend more towards bittersweet endings than straight-up sadness. The only one I can really think of is What You Own - mind the tags if you follow the link, this is definitely one of the gnarlier things I’ve written for CR - whose ending is, admittedly, bleak. But this story so far removed from canon that I don’t think it’s the kind of angsty ending that lingers with you, as much as it packs a punch and then lets you go on your way.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I tend to enjoy thinking about crossovers moreso than actually writing them. I’ve brainstormed a few, but none have ever made it much farther than the first page.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

A few times! Not often, thankfully. Only one time in particular really sticks out to me, mostly for how it rocked my confidence in a way that I don’t think any comment could now, since I’ve had a few more years to build up faith in my own writing.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Very, very occasionally.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not! 

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh man, back in the Glee days... yeah. Yeah, I have. Nothing that ever got published, though ;)

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

Not sure I have one! Ships come and go with the seasons, and sometimes they’re best left in the era you found them.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The Shadowgast figure skating AU. It’s never going to happen, but I wish it had.

15) What are your writing strengths?

I would say probably structure, in terms of constructing narrative arcs and through-lines. I’m organized with my writing in a way that I am in few other areas of my life, haha. I’d also say my sense of place - I think I’m pretty good at constructing living, breathing settings and exploring how my characters interact affect/are affected by them.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a tendency to be wordy (which you might surmise from the length of this post, lol) and repeat myself, usually by going over emotional beats that don’t need the extra reinforcement. On the other hand, I tend to underexplain certain elements (particularly, important plot details in fic, and character motivation in original writing), which can lead to confusion.

A couple years ago I would have said dialogue, but I’ve put a lot of practice into it and I honestly think I’ve improved a lot, which is pretty cool!

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never done it myself, and it’s not generally my favourite thing to read (like @essektheylyss said, it makes me hyper-aware that I’m reading words on a page, especially if I have to follow a footnote somewhere). That said, I’ve definitely also seen it used effectively, so I think it’s more down to whether it suits the particular story!

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Yu-Gi-Oh!

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

As mentioned above, Only the Nightingale Sings.

[robinsnest2111]

indirectly tagged by @lampmeeting

it's not part of the original thing but I'm gonna add a silly little self portrait as well~

Questions to get to know you a little better:

1. What do you prefer to be called name wise? Robin or any kind of nickname related to that you can come up with lol Some of my favourites are Rob and Robble

2. When is your birthday? November 21st

3. Where do you live? A little town in Niedersachsen (Lower Saxony), Germany. Known for being the summer residence of a royal bloodline some 200 years ago. Yes there's a castle :P

4. Three things I am doing right now? Trying to forget the nightmare I just woke up from, thinking about getting a few more clementines from the kitchen and fininishing a little sketch I started yesterday

5. Four fandoms that have piqued my interest: Metalocalypse (ofc), Hogan's Heroes, Ghost BC, What We Do In The Shadows. Those are the main 4 at the moment but there's always a chance for other fandoms to take over for a bit.

6. How has the pandemic been treating you? ....yeah. Not so great. My grandma died suddenly at the start of the pandemic, I had to leave my internship I was super happy at early because of lockdown, finished my last semester at college with horrible online classes, had to move back in with my parents, cut contact with someone I've known almost all my life, barely passed my finals, still on the hunt for a job (started applying to places in September) and am close to losing it any day now lol Also pandemic means no flea markets which was one of the few things keeping my brain happy and occupied while giving me a chance to ride my bike around the region for hours :^(((((

7. Song(s) I can’t stop listening to: Sadly no particular song coming to mind right now, but I've had Ghost's entire discography and Dethalbum I, II, and III on rotation for months now lol. This Toss A Coin To Your Witcher Remix has also been stuck in my head for a while and is always worth a listen (Also have some silly techno/hardstyle remixes stuck in my brain permanently because I listened to them as background noise while trying to make my final college projects somewhat decent. Terence Hill & Bud Spencer - Lalalalalala, Da Tweekaz - Jägermeister, Star Wars Hardstyle, DJ Ötzi - Anton aus Tirol, Das Leben des Brian - Schwanzus Longus)

8. Recommend a movie: The Road to El Dorado by Dreamworks, a children's movie, I know... Each song is an absolute banger tho (even the German versions!), the jokes are silly but fun, the queer/gay hints add that little spice that I subconsciously picked up on and felt comforted by as a kid and the design of the everything is just (chef's kiss) Also the chemistry between the 4 main characters is gud as heck. It's the childhood movie I latched on to the most, my mother had to rent the dvd almost every single day until I bought a copy myself lol

9. How old are you? 24 orz I don't feel like it at all...

10. School, university, occupation? Finished college in August, unemployed because no one wants to hire in the creative field during a worldwide plague :^)

11. Do you prefer heat or cold? As long as it's under 35°C I prefer heat. My hands and feet are icicles 95% of the time after losing weight :^(

12. Name one fact others may not know about you? Since I'm an expert oversharer you probably know almost everything about me already orz But uhhh. Lemme see... I learned how to operate a laundry machine at the ripe old age of 20 at my internship at a hair salon lmao My mother never had the nerve to show me how on the modern machine we have at home (along the lines of "you will fuck it up anyways so let me do it >:^(((" which is an overarching theme in her raising me lol), but the older machine with the simpler dials at the salon was a good start to learn and honestly one of the things at this internship I'm still super grateful for...

13. Are you shy? Oh hell yeah I am... It's all the years of getting only negative feedback for trying to interact with others lol

14. Preferred pronouns: He/Him mostly, still figuring out if I still like they/them or nah (since in German there are no neutral pronouns that aren't neopronouns I've automatically gotten more attached to he/him lol)

15. Biggest pet peeves: I feel so mean for admitting it but honestly: Any noises my parents make. If I'm having a particularly bad low brain energy day even hearing them breathe makes me wanna run away and scream in anger... (Doesn't irk me with anyone else tho, which is weird...)

16. What is your favorite "dere" type? Oh there's more than 4 types now?? I've always liked Kuudere types the most out of the original 4 types, but I guess Shundere and Utsudere are right up my alley too!!!

The Kuudere (クーデレ), sometimes written Coodere or Kūdere, type refers to a character who is often cold, blunt, and cynical. They may seem very emotionless on the outside, but on the inside they’re very caring — at least when it comes to the ones they love.

The Shundere (しゅんデレ) type refers to characters who are sad and very depressed. While a full smile on their face might be out of the question, their love interest can help them open up and feel accepted.

The Utsudere (うつデレ) type refers to a character who is often sad and depressed. There is a reason for the character’s despair such as being bullied at school. Even if their life improves, they are often wary of other characters’ motives.

17. Rate your life 1-10? Maybe a 4? 4.5 at max

18. What is your main blog? The one I'm posting this on lol

19. List all your side blogs and what they’re for:

yorkiesart - old as hell and inactive artblog

bleedingheartbird - very triggering and depressing vent blog :^(

yorkie2111 - my very first username, a sea and ocean themed aesthetic blog now mostly for when I miss Denmark a whole lot (kinda inactive)

robinsartnest - a second attempt at a separate art blog, inactive as well lol

20. Is there anything people should know before becoming friends with you? I'm a clusterfuck of several undiagnosed mental illnesses and probably other conditions that I'm trying to figure out and deal with on my own until I can get professional help and some diagnoses. At times I'm weird and distant and overall very depressed and unpleasant, I've already hurt so many people this way and am trying to be better every single day. Basically I've never been given the "How to properly Human" manual and am frantically trying to get it right without hurting too many innocent people in the process.

Anyway, if you are nice to me I will love you forever ♡♡♡ :'3c

idk who to tag so if you wanna do this, do it~

[illjustblamemypasttrauma]

10/04 hi

My therapist and I agreed to spread out our sessions to once every two weeks, so I’m here today to work on stuff on my own like a good therapy client/human being.

I think the first thing I want to talk about is my problem with the guy I’ve been sexting. He is just horny all the fucking time and sends me pics like every hour almost of his dick or something and like it was fun one time when I was super horny but like after that day I’m just like... okay why? Like apparently he likes to edge himself for days on end?? Boy if I make out with a dude for like an hour and grind and shit without cumming my balls will be dying later, even after I do cum. But idk I told him today that I wanted to take a break from the sexual stuff because I’m just so drained and I don’t even want that? I don’t want to see his hard dick every hour and have him make me compliment him and have him ask for pics of me. Like I’m busy doing other stuff? I want to actually talk to someone not just sext? I guess that last statement is confusing.. like I know that he just wants to sext (mostly) so like why do I care? I guess this goes with the fact that I just am not enjoying it, but why am I not enjoying it? I enjoy it sometimes when I’m horny... Also I’ve noticed its harder for me to cum, like my dick will be hard but its hard for me to get to my orgasm by watching porn or reading fics.. like I used some new toys I bought and they worked fine, but hm maybe its my mood? maybe its my meds? I have been really stressed recently cuz starting to transition to my new position at work and I had to pump out a 5 page paper yesterday. Its understandable that I’m exhausted from that, but then I also stay up until like 1 on weekdays and like 2 on weekends now? Like the lack of sleep isn’t affecting me too much I think, which made me be concerned that I’m experiencing hypomanic symptoms? I mean I have been spending more money but also like most of it is either on extra bills (lily’s vet/teeth cleaning or ATT bullshit) or I try to budget for it. Idk I feel like this diagnosis class has me being all “Do I have this???” which like can be helpful but also can be kinda self-defeating. Like its good to know the symptoms of problems, but self-diagnosis is not 100% correct.

Back to the sexting problem, I feel like he just doesn’t know me (which granted he doesn’t and we didn’t agree to do anything beyond sext) but like I told him multiple times that I prefer talking more outside of sexual stuff and it just feels like he doesn’t care. Like he just wants to get off, which is valid, but I don’t know if I want that. Like we have some connection but then we he does some semblance of connection during sexting its weird like “I’m gonna be your first for everything” and shit like that. Its like he makes me feel like I’m just an object that he can use to get off (or not cuz he likes to edge so damn much???) and granted I have gotten off as well, but I feel like the expectations he puts on me... actually he doesn’t really put expectations on me, except he does expect reciprocity to his sexual-ness but like... I’m just not always feeling that. And from what I talked about earlier its hard to want to reciprocate when he just makes me feel like an object for his pleasure. Like yes he is “understanding” of my problems that I talk to him about, but at the end of the day I feel like he just wants sex and so in a sense he may care but his caring is super-ceded by his desire to get off. Once again I keep saying “well isn’t that what we agreed upon? Some talking and sexual-ness?” I guess maybe I just don’t want that anymore? especially since its just degraded to him sending me dick pics constantly throughout the day. Maybe I just don’t want to invest so much time and energy for what we have going on between us. Like I’d rather just have a boyfriend or a close friend (not sexual) that I could talk to and invest time into. Like this guy is in Austin and I won’t be moving out of Dallas for like almost 2 years.

I think I’m just kind of lonely still. Like I think I should facetime someone soon, I mean I was going to facetime Haley cuz I want help with my paper, but yeah I need to do it more often. I think the stress of work and school is just adding up and making it hard for me, kinda lowering my mood/energy. The meds are still very helpful and I’m able to play games with my and my brother’s friend and his friends, but at the end of the day I think I just need/want more.

One thing that I have noticed is that when I get down, I tend to revert to negative thinking like “I can’t do ___” which also shows up as “I’m a bad cat dad, I’m not giving lily enough attention” etc. However, I have been trying to notice those thoughts and change them and they have helped.

IDK what else to talk about, I feel like my attention has been going everywhere when I’m trying to relax. I feel like I am always having to do somethin (whats new) and that I’m like looking for more games and gay content to fill up my time (which I’ve been contemplating paying for new games - I mean I already planned on buying new games).

Another thing I can talk about is that for Christmas my family is coming to Texas. I took off the week after Christmas to spend time with them, but they want to go to Galveston to visit the beach and chill. I feel like part of me is like “heck yeah lets go on a trip” while the other part is like “god trips with my family are so much” like I feel like I want to travel, but I feel like when I got with family they’re always full of stuff to do. So I told my brother who his wife is planning it and he essentially told me that he was just wanting to do like minimal stuff just hang out. But then I’m like... why are we driving 5 hours to Galveston then? Why don’t we just hang out in Dallas together and be able to go to our own spaces afterwards?? The last time we took a trip during Christmas, my sister (not as close to me) yelled at me and my other sister (the one close to me) because we lost a game?? Like idk it was really excessive but that whole trip was filled with super passive aggressive stuff and it was really frustrating. I was also not in a good mood because I was in college and drove to Dallas from Austin and we ended up going to San Antonio which is like an hour south of Austin so we drove past Austin and I was like ??? WHY??

I think goals for this week would be to talk to my friends more (like I could text Hao or call/facetime her and she’d always answer) and facetime Haley and Lindsay or even Sam. I also want to try to be more cognizant of when I feel negatively about myself and try to reframe it.

Also I’ve been wanting to write fanfiction for like so long (at least a month) and I have like ideas written down but it just seems so... daunting? Like I don’t know how to write fiction for shit. The last time I wrote fiction was like sophomore year of high school... its so hard lmao... and like I’m already struggling with time management, but I guess this could be a way to relieve some stress since I’ve been trying so hard to find something to do.

[fartandsoul]

ALL THE MUSICAL POST THING

WHY HELLO THANKS

everything is under the cut since there’s over 30 questions! if anyone read this all i would be impressed and die for u

1. Favorite (Reprise)

y’all 38 planes (reprise)/somewhere in the middle of nowhere is the best reprise ever created sorry i don’t make the rules

2. Best Act 1 ending.

like….nonstop gave me chills when i saw it and it’s still my fave hamilton song i have to choose it 

3. If you could go back in time to see a certain production, which one would it be?

if i say i would go back to see great comet with josh as pierre does that count

4. Who should write a musical?

like, this is a weird answer, but i made a post the other day about if dave malloy and sufjan stevens wrote a song together but now i really want to know how freakin weird a musical by them would be 

5. The routine you recreate when home alone

i don’t really do a routine but i usually sing no one else loudly in the shower or do sonya & natasha while cleaning/getting ready it’s such a good song to sing while getting shit done

6. A duet you’d love to perform and with whom

oh lordt i can’t sing but a little priest from sweeney todd would be really fun to do

7. A musical everyone can learn from

come from away!!!!!! it’s really approachable and catchy so everyone can be into it but it’s also so important and beautiful!!

8. Favorite set design EVER

is it a surprise that i’m going to say great comet. when i imagine being back in that theater sometimes i start crying

9. Favorite person to play Natasha Rostova

this question told me to insert a role and obviously i picked natasha so that i can talk about how denée literally IS natasha like pippa, shoba, and everyone else are good natashas but denée somehow embodies that naivete and inner joy and also strength and stubbornness of her she does the most beautiful job and seeing her do it live really made me love natasha and i am not going to stop ranting about her performance for as long as i live

P.S. remember when she called natasha “radiant” in her tweet? that’s the most accurate descriptor of denée AS natasha also

10. Best digital #ham4ham 

oh the time lin did the barricade bit

or rent4ham because that made me watch rent for the first time and now i love rent

oh or the time pippa sung laurie’s song from the tender land i watch that so much it’s beautiful

11. Make up a name and the ingredients for a Waitress pie

haven’t listened to waitress yet!!

12. Best tap number

like, any bit from newsies, kaylee @jackellysbae knows them

14. Express your love for the orchestras!

HI I WANNA GIVE A SHOUT-OUT TO THE ORCHESTRAS OF TINY LOCAL THEATERS THAT ARE EVEN LESS RECOGNIZED THAN THOSE AT BIG BROADWAY THEATERS like my local theater always does so great w the orchestra!! good job y’all

15. Favorite musical written by Dave Malloy

this one also told me to insert a composer/lyricist so obviously i had to say dave and like i go back and forth between great comet and ghost quartet they’re both so beautiful but comet is just spectacular, gorgeous, and life changing so uhh. great comet

16. Which part (or parts) do you sing in One Day More?

u fool, i try to sing them all at once, you cannot sing it any other way (but mostly javert for some reason)

17. A line that never fails to make you laugh

oh in come from away both “ya. that’s a m00se” and “cold towel?” im screaming

and in comet “we are off to the clUb” 

18. An upcoming production you’re excited for

THE MY FAIR LADY REVIVAL I WILL SEE IT OR DIE

also i’d love to see once on this island!!!

and dave’s moby dick musical whenever that comes out

19. Do you have any funny misheard lyrics from a showtune?

i know i have a couple from comet i think in the fast part of moscow i got really confused for a bit and just mumbled but if i think of anything more specific i’ll edit this

20. A musical you would NEVER see with your parents

well my dad hates musicals and i’d probably see almost anything with my mom except book of mormon or spring awakening

21. Musicals can introduce you to new cultures, interests, fancy words and so on. Name 3 things you’ve learned form musicals

well i read war and peace after getting into great comet so that was a pretty big Learn

come from away obviously i learned about gander!

also i’m going to be a sappy asshole and say that musicals in general have taught me to just GO FOR IT you fool you want to write a rap/hip-hop musical about founding fathers and work on it for 6 years? do it you want to write a musical that doesn’t even rhyme? or a self-insert of you and your three friends with like 3459835 timelines that doesn’t even make sense sometimes? you wanna mash every fairy tale together or write about your hometown or make jokes about shakespeare or write about cannibalism whatever you can do anything (and let’s not even get into what the characters themselves have taught me). musicals really just inspire me to write and since writing is what i love doing most in the world that’s really valuable to me

22. Favorite OBC

uhhh great comet next question

23. Cast recording you know by heart

surprisingly i listened to hamilton the other day for the first time in a year or so and i still know it all

also great comet of course

in the heights, ghost quartet, come from away, and sweeney todd pretty well like 90%

24. Cast recording for a long car ride

okay u gotta time this stuff….hamilton or comet are both perfect for my drive home from school like it’s almost exactly 2.5 hours

for a longer trip (4+ hours) i would say the entire works of dave malloy

for an even longer trip (6+ hours) i would make a playlist of the Big Ones like wicked, into the woods, etc.

and for the longest trip of all (10+ hours) just put your theatre playlist on shuffle and go hard

25. Favorite Miscast performance

brandon victor dixon and mandy gonzalez doing one second and a million miles!

26. I really like these ones so: make 2 musical related confessions

1) i don’t like book of mormon

2) have i listened to anything by alw? no

27. Showtune of the day

tango dancer from ghost quartet has been stuck in my head for a week

28.  Who would play you in a musical about your life?

oh lordt why would you want to make that

29. Who would play your best friend in a musical about your life?

several of my best friends have beautiful voices so im just going to say let them play themselves!!

30.  Who would play your romantic interest in a musical about your life?

what is a romantic interest and when will i get one

31. 2 solos you’d love to perform

like i said i can’t sing but i almost have brittain ashford’s range so let’s say hero from ghost quartet (not that i could do it justice) 

but if i had pippa soo’s range i would love to do times are hard for dreamers from amelie

32. Describe yourself with 3 musical theatre characters

well this is hard

natasha rostova, portia from something rotten (lmao this is for the poetry mood), and the baker’s wife from into the woods

33. A character that inspires you to be better

pierre bezukhov!!!

34. A showtune that always puts you in a good mood

the abduction!!!

35. A showtune that makes you feel melancholic

no one is alone from into the woods

36. Best showstopper

kaylee @jackellysbae said defying gravity and like…..you can’t argue with that

37-40. 

Already answered!