#this whole system is set up so we can't do jack shit

[lazywitchling]

I've been on this blue hellsite long enough to remember the days when this place turned red white and blue on the 4th of July. That gif of presidents driving around in cars for some reason? Endless fireworks gifs. And then all the comments that were like "Hey America, you know your country is broken, right?" and we were like "Yeah we know, but we have to pretend for just one day."

Now we're just here like

[theriverbeyond]

I would love to hear about your theory that John moved the solar system!? I’m so curious about the potential evidence!

THANK YOU FOR ASKING this is my pet theory. my baby. my lovingly crafted tinfoil hat. also pinging in @liesmyth for insight/if i forgot anything

the theory is, John moved the solar system to Elsehwere, and the Mithraeum sits in the Milky Way galaxy, where our solar system used to be.

BoE was searching for the Nine Houses for thousands of years. until proven otherwise, they are canonically the descendants of the FTL ships John let escape. so: they know where Earth is! they know where the solar system is! they had 5,000 or more years to look, AND they had spacefaring tech! why couldnt they find it?

The Mithraeum is described so lovingly it makes my brain itch. the way John calls it "home"? listen. idk it is vibes

it is "set in the midst of a circumstellar disc", "an ancient jewel within so much dead gravel". what else is a "circumstellar disc"? the Milky Way galaxy. vibes

as we learn in HtN chapter 14, the Mithraeum is "lit by thanergetic starlight". not thanergy starlight. thanergETIC. the only other thanergetic star system we know of is..... Dominicus. our sun, killed and reborn. when the cohort/lyctors flip planets, they aren't capable of turning them thanergetic. and yet!!!! the Mithraeum is surrounded by thanergetic starlight. (like yes John said that they "nuked the stars with thanergy and now they'll shine forever" but he's a lying liar who lies, and we KNOW that killing a planet with thanergy doesn't turn it thanergetic. so like..... what is up with that)

John CAN TERAFORM. in NtN, John 19:18, he is described as "rais[ing] up parts of the earth that had been covered by sea". we know he can control the human body but this is a WHOLE new dimension and level to his powers and its implications are wholly unexplored. i can believe that he has (or had, at the time) the power to move a solar system.

The Mistborn Connection. John & Rashek parallels are just really strong and i can't ignore that. Rashek moved the planets around and therefore I think it is not impossible that John might have as well

so the question next is: why? why would john do this? and i think there are 2, potentially overlapping options:

fear and guilt, like a child hiding the cup they broke. John did not do this out of malice. he was scared and overwhelmed and fucked things up because of it, and maybe he hid our solar system because he couldn't bear to face the consequences or awknowledge the true extent of what he had done

it was an accident. John ate everything, killed everything, and he was absolutely not in his right mind when trying to put everything back. and not only that, he went to medical school, which as i (someone going to clinical science school) can tell you, means you know jack fucking shit about astrophysics and planetary science. he's only human, even if he became a god. he was unqualified and very stressed.... anyway let me tell you. if that was me we would all be soup

like i KNOW this is kind of ridiculous and weird. and it is tinfoil hat enough that i wouldn't be pressed at all if it turns out to be totally nothing. but like. it COULD be something, ya know?

[separatist-apologist]

I know that this isn't the primary focus of your blog, but i'd like to hear your opinion about something: do you think that we'll ever see Feyre actually act as a political leader in the series? It bothers me to no end that, despite being one of the most powerful women in the series and it's main protagonist, most, if not all, of Feyre's power it's a extension of Rhysand's, as well as her relationships - basically all of them, except for her sisters and Lucien, to a extent. Don't get me wrong, i'm glad that the character had her happy ending after so much suffering, but the narrative constantly remind us of the fact that Feyre is a High Lady, the only one so far, and yet we rarely actually see her act like it on page - she will fight to defend her little safe haven of Velaris, but what about the rest of Night Court, that is also her responsability? I would much prefeer if Feyre's subplot in ACOSF was about her actually trying to change things for the beter for the women in the Illyrian camps, or to make things right in the Hewn City, instead of the pregnancy plot. I would love to see Feyre becoming a politician, a diplomat, someone who actually tried to be a good ruler, but it seems to me that despite her power and pretty titles, "High Lady" is just another word for "Rhysand's trophy wife".

Where are my Lucien VanSssssssnake anons?

Look. I get it. We all have our anti-faves, that bitch eating crackers that we can't stand.

But please point out where A N Y of the other High Lords are doing anything political? I literally am B E G G I N G people to get off Feyre's asshole and stop holding her to a standard they do not hold any other character in the novels to. Feyre has been High Lady for five minutes in a book that is deeply NOT political to the point that every good analysis I've seen about Prythian's political system is a head canon. Tamlin is High Lord in book 1 but does exactly jack shit and in book 2 he's staring at paperwork and riding off to the border when it suits him which is the opposite of a good political leader given the target it paints on his back and how if he died, it throws his whole court into turmoil.

Additionally, Tarquin/Helion/Rhys are also not doing a lot of ruling on page. Rhys and Tamlin are tied for literally Most Fake court set up ever given Tamlin's court is made up of Lucien, who seemingly does idk EVERYTHING? and one priestess who plans parties.

And Rhys's court is all his best friends who, conveniently, are soldiers and not diplomats. He's got Lucien who is doing?????

Like, I guess I'm asking people to leave me alone about this. You want realism and a fleshed out plot in a series that is now 5 books deep and has NEVER had it. Cassian, the literal GENERAL of the Night Court, was reassigned to play COURTIER and everyone was like, makes total sense when it's absolutely BONKERS bananas. "Don't you want more?" Rhys asks of the man who commands his armies, and Cassian drops EVERYTHING to do it. And there are 0 political ramifications.

It seems to me that ya'll just have a problem that Rhys made Feyre his equal and want to rail about it, which whatever. But this is not the series for that sort of shit, and I don't care if you don't think it's realistic when there are dumber things in these books no one takes issue with.

Like ten inch dicks that are coated in orgasm magic like jfc.

[somedayonbroadway]

Hi! I know this can be triggering but i haven’t really seen it anywhere and i really wanted to find something like this so could you do some anorexic race? i’ve seen elmer, albert- hell, even spot. but never race

Here’s a little something! Lemme know if you’d like to see more!

Fandom: Newsies

Characters: Racetrack Higgins, Crutchie Morris, Jack Kelly, Katherine Plumber, Albert DaSilva (mentioned)

Words: 3K+

Summary: Jack had called him in hysterics. Four days ago. Crutchie could hardly make out the words. Tyler. Hospital. Please come back. (Bad Things Happens Bingo: Eating Disorder).

TW: EATING DISORDER

Here we go! Another story for my @badthingshappenbingo card!

This ones a bit shorter than the others.

I have written another story previously about an eating disorder and I did get a review telling me that I didn't know what I was writing about. So I'll be honest, I was a little nervous to write this one. I do have to ask that no one assumes anything on any of my works. I love you all dearly, but here's the truth: None of you guys know what I've been through really. I wrote that last fic after I visited my baby cousin in the hospital for having an eating disorder. So please don't tell me what I know or don't know.

Also, these kinds of things are tricky. Every case is different. So please, if you don't like the way I write these things, don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. Realize that our experiences are very different and maybe I haven't been where you're at.

Sorry for the rant.

Anyways...

Enjoy!

It was raining. Every drop hit that glass window like it was so desperate to break right through it.

Jack wished it would stop. It made everything feel that much drearier. It made the world feel a little darker, as if the universe knew what was happening. As if it had known that something that seemed so wrong was still happening in the world. Jack was no stranger to the cruelties of the world.

But this was something he hadn't even seen coming. This was something he hadn't prepared for. Something that truly terrified him.

The boy in his arms stirred just a bit when the door creaked open. Jack's heart stuttered. "Shshshshshshshhhhhhh…" he soothed, running a gloved hand over those blond curls. And those big blue eyes barely made an effort to peak up at him before they were hiding again. All Jack could do was sigh in relief and hold the child just a bit tighter just as someone slowly made their way into the room, right towards them. "Si' down, Crutch… I j'st got him ta sleep…" Jack murmured, knowing the younger man didn't have a clue what to do.

Doing as he was told, Crutchie didn't dare take his eyes off of the weakened boy in his bed. He readjusted the gloves on his hands and the mask on his face. Jack wore them just the same. But that didn't stop the child on his chest from cuddling into him like there was no danger in that. "Are you sure ya should be—?"

"It's been four days," Jack breathed, looking up at him. It was only then that Charlie saw the tears in his eyes. "Four days n' he hasn't even taken a ten minute nap. He asked me ta hold him, so I did n' he fell asleep n' now I can't… I just… I ain't gonna wake him now…" He couldn't do it. He couldn't bear to watch it again. To know that the child he held so dearly just couldn't sleep on his own. "I'm sorry…" he breathed in deeply, trying to keep in the tears and calm himself down. "I just didn't know what else ta do…"

The words broke Crutchie's heart. He nodded. "It's okay, Jack… as long as he's gettin' some sleep…" he whispered.

Jack nodded too, clearly a bit on edge. He looked down yet again to the child dozing on top of him. And his heart tightened when he remembered he wasn't allowed to kiss his forehead. "I-I'm glad you're here…" he admitted, still not looking up.

What he failed to notice was that Crutchie wasn't looking up either. The younger man's green eyes were solely set on the boy. He couldn't help but take the child in. Every inch of him.

He was so thin. He could practically see the bones beneath that pale skin.

"Sorry it took so long… I forgot my ID… they wouldn't let me in without knowin' I was older 'n eighteen…" he muttered, leaning forward to get a better look at the frail child. He could see it even in the boy's face. He was practically a stick. It was terrifying. "S-so… wh-what happened?" he asked, still unsure as to how they'd ended up here. How this had all happened.

Jack leaned down to tuck blond curls beneath his chin. He sighed. "We were comin' home… from his school. Kath was with us…"

"I think you chose the movie last weekend, Love," Katherine stated, walking a bit ahead of the two boys behind her.

Jack shook his head. "Are you sure, babe?"

Laughing with a quick nod back in his direction. "We watched 'Jurassic World'. And the weekend before that we watched 'Split' for Race. It's my turn and I chose 'Ever After' and you both have to sit with me the whole time!" she demanded, knowing they'd get bored.

Then she bounded on ahead of them, key in hand.

It was just like any other day.

It was normal.

Except for one thing.

Race lagging behind. He wasn't mouthing off. He wasn't arguing. In fact, he was leaning heavily on the railing of the stairs they were walking up. And he looked horrible.

Jack just assumed he was sick. Like he had for the past couple weeks. Maybe he just wasn't getting enough sleep.

"Hey, baby… ya doin' okay?" he asked, falling back a couple steps to be at his little brother's side. "Ya tired?"

The boy looked over at him and paused on the stairs, offering him a weak smile. "I'm fine, Jackie…" he insisted, taking a deep breath and making a move to continue up the stairs.

A skeptical look came over Jack's face. The boy had gotten into the habit of wearing large, baggy sweats wherever he went, no matter the weather. "Maybe you're hot. It might help ta take the sweatshirt off," he suggested, walking with the fifteen year old as his girl unlocked their apartment door.

"It's fine, bubba… really," the kid insisted again. "I just… I need ta rest for a second…'' The words were weak. And Jack's heart dropped when the boy's eyes rolled back into his head and his knees buckled.

Jack barely caught the child as he began to fall backwards. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Racer?!" he cried, lowering himself onto the steps and holding the boy in his lap. "Tyler?!"

The boy was completely passed out for a long moment as Jack panicked, unsure of what to do as the kid's sweatshirt slid up on his torso.

That's when Jack saw it. He could see the boy's rib cage. "Shit…" he muttered, looking back up to his brother's face. "Tyler! Tyler, wake up!"

Those blue eyes fluttered. But they did not open. "Jackie…?" It was hardly a breath. Jack almost missed it.

"Baby?!"

"I… I think I need a h'spital…" the child admitted drearily.

Without even thinking, Jack just nodded vigorously. "Okay… okay, stay awake, TJ! We're… we're gonna get you help…" he promised, looking up the flight of stairs. "Katherine! Katherine, call an ambulance!" he cried, lifting the boy up.

The young woman rushed back out of the apartment, confused until she saw what was happening. And she grabbed her phone. "Oh my God! Tyler?!"

Jack scooped the boy up the best he could. "Kath, which way's the closest hospital?!"

"Jack, I'm calling. An ambulance is coming!"

Jack whimpered but didn't argue as he cradled the boy to him and bounced him up in his arms. "Stay awake, kiddo… we're getting you help… you're gonna be okay…" For the first time, he realized how light the kid was. How dangerously light the kid was. "Oh bubba, what happened?"

Race did not respond to him. And it just scared Jack even more.

"They're coming, Jack!" Katherine promised. "Tyler, they're coming! What happened?"

Jack didn't answer. He couldn't.

He couldn't answer.

A tear trailed down Jack's cheek and he shook his head. "We got him here n'... the doctor said he had a resting heart rate of forty two beats per minute… they weighed him. He's eighty nine pounds. His immune system is weak. He was dyin' n' I didn't even notice…" he stated, feeling his throat tighten as he thought about it all again.

"Jack…" Crutchie breathed, shaking his head.

"He didn't even seem scared… he just… sat there like he knew this was comin'..." Jack recalled. He wished he could scream.

"So… what? He just wasn't eatin'?"

Jack let out a bitter, humorless laugh. "I don't know! He won't talk about it. He seems ta think that if he pretends everythin's normal, somehow it will be." He steadied his breaths as best he could. He'd been holding it together for days. He was confused and tired and hungry and scared and he just didn't know what to do. "The doctors think he just wasn't eatin' f'r as long as he could n' then when he did, he'd try to burn it all off."

Crutchie only nodded. "Okay… okay, Jack… it's okay… he's here… he's alive…"

"It's not okay, Charlie!" Jack cried. "I almost lost custody of him six years ago because the judge thought I wouldn't be able to take care of him n' now—" He couldn't help it anymore. There were full fledged tears rushing down his face, dripping onto the mask he wore over his mouth.

His younger brother was heartbroken. The younger man carefully placed a hand on his shoulder. "Jack. No one is gonna take him away. They can't just do that—"

"I'm scared." It was rare for Jack to admit things like that. It was even rarer for him to admit that to one of his brothers.

Charlie nodded. "And it's okay to be scared, big brother. It's okay."

"But—" A hand tightening in the front of the scrubs that Jack wore made him pause. Jack looked down, almost horrified.

Big blue eyes looked up at him, still exhausted, but very much awake.

Everything froze for a moment. No one spoke and no one moved. Tears still fell down Jack's face. He felt like he couldn't breathe. His baby brother perched his chin on the young man's chest as he looked up at him and Jack couldn't hope but shake his head. He couldn't help but want to cry even harder.

"Racer, Jack's gonna go get some coffee, okay?" Charlie stated, confusing Jack for only a moment before he could understand.

The look that sparked in Race's eyes nearly broke both of his brothers completely. "Um… okay…" he managed to get out, no matter how shakily it might've been. It was clear the boy was holding back sobs of his own.

But Jack managed to slowly maneuver the teenager onto the mattress and slip out from beneath him. Then he stood and reached to brush the boy's curls back, his hand trembling as he did so. Race did nothing to stop him from leaving. So Jack let the back of his fingers smoothly trail down his baby brother's cheek before he turned and fled the room.

He barely made it before he had to rip the mask off of his face and crumble to the ground in the hallway just outside.

How did he miss this?

When the door shut, Race felt himself swallow hard. His fist curled into the soft blanket that lay beneath him. He blinked the tears out of his eyes and lazily looked up at the young man still sitting beside him. He tried to smile. But it faltered so easily. And the tears came. He didn't get out a word. He couldn't do it.

All he could do was cry.

"Hey… hey, Tyler… hey…" Charlie tried, scooting himself forward.

Race shook his head. "I didn' mean it! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!" the child whimpered, trying to hide in his pillows and beneath his blankets. "I don' wan' 'em ta take me away…"

Charlie pulled the blanket from him and scooted even closer to his bedside, his heart unable to handle the small confession. "Tyler James, look at me…" he asked. "Please…" It took a long moment. But the boy's eyes eventually trailed up to his own. "Hey… there you are…" he breathed, earning a sad smile from the boy. "I missed you…"

"I missed you, too…" came the watery reply. He reached out for Charlie's hand. Charlie took it. But he could practically feel the boy's disappointment when he felt the glove rather than his skin. "I'm sorry ya had ta fly out here," the boy whispered.

The young man squinted at him. "Tyler… I'll always come for you… always. I don't care how I gotta get here. You're more important than anythin' else I have, okay?"

Jack had called him in hysterics. Four days ago. Crutchie had hardly been able to make out the words. Tyler. Hospital. Please come back.

He'd been in the middle of a class. His phone had gone off in his pocket so many times. He'd finally excused himself and then he'd gotten that call. The one that made him rush out of class in the middle of a lecture. He had professors emailing him. Telling him he couldn't just leave like this.

He hadn't messaged them back yet.

They weren't as important as his baby brother.

The boy looked up at him with those eyes. Those big, puppy dog eyes that always managed to manipulate him. He sighed as Race played with the hand Crutchie had given him. "I didn't mean ta scare Jack…" he insisted, his voice strained. "I… didn't mean ta do this…"

Nodding, Charlie smiled. "You know Jack, kid. You're his little boy." It was true. This kid was why Jack got up in the morning for so long. Tyler was practically Jack's own. Jack had raised them both. But Crutchie had always tended to learn on his own.

Race had clung to Jack since the day he was born.

"Do… d'ya think he's mad at me?"

The question shocked Charlie. He didn't understand it. He didn't understand this boy. "What? Of course not! He's scared for you!" he said. He knew he shouldn't have. It wasn't something the kid would want to hear. But it was the truth. "Racer… I'm scared for you, too," he admitted. That's when Race wouldn't look him in the eyes.

Sometimes, it was easy to forget that this boy was fifteen. Sometimes, all Crutchie could see was that little boy who'd been such a light for him and Jack amidst all the darkness in their lives. Right now was one of those moments. Despite everything that had happened over the course of this poor child's life, he still looked so helplessly innocent.

And he stole his brother's heart all over again.

"I… I thought I could control it…" the child whispered, swallowing hard and focusing down on their hands. The boy traces the lines of Charlie's palm, even over the latex gloves he wore. "I thought… I thought it would be okay… at least at the beginning…" he admitted, only peaking up at his brother every now and again. "I didn't mean f'r it ta get this bad… I didn't think it would…" That's when the tears started coming again. That's when he just couldn't hold them back anymore. "I don't like not bein' able ta touch no one… n' I don't like that I can't see my friends…"

Crutchie shushed him and wiped away at his baby brother's cheeks. "I know, kid… I know…"

"Al tried ta come yesterday… but they wouldn't let him in… they didn't even care if I wan'ed ta see him, they just told him he couldn't come in…" he explained. "I didn't mean ta do this! I was gonna get better, I just—"

"It's okay, kid… ya ain't gonna be stuck here forever," Charlie promised, brushing the curls out of Race's eyes. "Ya wanna… ya wanna tell me how this started?" he asked, skeptical he'd actually get any information. "Ya don't have to. Ya know… If ya don't wanna…"

The boy sniffled and rolled onto his back. Crutchie bit his lip as he saw the whole of him. The kid looked so breakable. So small and thin and so very fragile. Charlie was afraid to touch him. He was so scared he might snap.

"It… I j'st… I wasn't eatin' enough…" the child began, reaching out to grab at his big brother's hand once again. Crutchie nodded, silently begging him to continue. "I… I don't know… I j'st… I ate the same way we did at the last house we was in…" If there was something that could truly worry the young man right then, that was it.

"Tyler, Snyder hardly fed us," he stated, as if it should've been obvious.

But it hit him all a bit too quickly.

Race had never been in a home where they'd truly fed them properly. Not until Jack. Crutchie had no doubts in his mind that Jack had the supplies for three meals a day and then some for this boy.

The kid didn't look up at him at that. "I just figured if I could do it then, I could do it now n' it'd be fine. N' it was… but I… I started runnin' more f'r cross country a couple months ago n'—"

"Hold on, months?!" The boy flinched. But Charlie hadn't expected it. He hadn't expected the boy to have been starving himself for that long. For some reason he's expected it to be a short time.

And then he truly thought about it.

Jack's internship had started about six months ago. He wasn't home with Race as often as he had been for so long.

"Charlie, it was an accident! I just couldn't stop! It just… I didn't know how ta stop once I started…"

The words brought tears to the young man's eyes. "Kid… why didn't you ask for help?" he asked. Had he really failed the boy that much that his baby brother thought he couldn't come to him for anything? He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wasn't angry at the child. He wasn't even disappointed with him. He was just… scared. Scared that maybe he'd done something wrong. Maybe if he'd been there, things would've been different.

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore." The boy tried to clear his throat. Charlie knew he was holding back sobs.

He knew the kid wanted Jack. But Jack needed a break. Or a breakdown, Charlie commented to himself, wishing he could just be in two places at once. "Okay… okay, we don't gotta talk about that. We can talk about somethin' else. Unless you wanna sleep?" he suggested, his voice filled with hope.

But Race bit his lip and shook his head. "I… I just wanna go home…"

Crutchie tried to smile. "I know, kid…" he sighed, massaging the boy's hand. "I know…"

A comfortable but sad silence fell over them. Crutchie tried to help the boy relax just a bit. He heard the boy's breaths get deeper. He watched the boy's eyes closed. But he knew the boy wasn't asleep. The kid wouldn't fall asleep if he thought Jack was upset with him.

Charlie could only do so much.

He sighed and watched the boy rest his eyes as his mind wandered. He let himself think back to the day he'd held this boy for the first time. He'd only been six. Jack had been ten.

It was the most terrifying thing he'd ever done in his life.

The kid had been screaming. He was scared and confused and so curious. And he'd stolen their hearts from the second they'd met him.

Race sighed, feeling out of breath for a moment and he let his eyes slowly drift open again. Charlie was focused down on his hand. The child couldn't help but let his gaze drift to the door. He just wanted to go home.

He let his eyes fall shut again as he focused on breathing. He was hooked up to too many machines. The feeding tube was the one that he hated the most. He squirmed a bit when his mind was drawn back to it. He didn't like it. Or the IV in his arm. He couldn't relax knowing they were there.

It was why he'd needed Jack to hold him. Jack had always had this gift. A gift that allowed him to distract Race so easily.

Race wished he could do the same for his brother.

He wished he could do the same for both of his brothers.

For a long while he lay there, trying not to think. But he knew the discomfort would win out eventually.

Just as he was about to talk to Charlie again, the door reopened. And a nurse walked in.

Jack was trailing behind her. He was wearing a fresh pair of gloves and a new mask. And he was breathing steadily. Race's eyes lit up when he saw him. But he didn't say anything. He was too nervous.

"How are you feeling, Tyler?" The boy sat himself up and shrugged.

Jack slowly walked over to him, gently bringing a hand down to rub his back. "You um… ya wanna try… ya wanna try eating, baby?"

Race looked up at his brothers. He just wanted things to be normal.

But he truly didn't know if he could do it.

So he shrugged once again, on the verge of tears.

And Crutchie grasped his hand again. "Hey… you're doin' okay, kiddo… everything's gonna be okay…"

Jack looked down between his little brothers and managed an encouraging nod. He sat on the edge of Race's bed. "Baby… you're gonna get better. Don't matta' how long it takes… we're gonna be right here with ya… if you ain't ready t'day… it's okay. We can just try again tomorrow…" Jack promised.

The youngest of them turned to Jack and threw his arms around his big brother, wondering how on earth he'd been given the gift of getting to be raised by this man. Jack just wrapped him up all the same, reaching down for Charlie's hand. The other man laughed as he was pulled up and over to shield this little boy from the rest of the world. "We gotcha, Racer… we always gotcha…"

The boy could do nothing but believe them as he was swallowed up by the two embraces that had kept him alive for fifteen years. "Okay…" he breathed, his voice wobbly and terrified. "Okay…"

Jack ran a gloved hand over the boy's hair. "I love you so much, kid… ya know that?" All Race could do was nod. "Good… we're gonna get through this together. Yeah?"

Charlie let out a breath and held tighter to the boy.

They could do this.

Everything would be okay.

"We gotcha… we gotcha…"

If anyone's asking, Crutchie goes to school in California. That's why he was away.

Alright!

As always, thanks for reading! Make sure to tell me what you liked, what you didn't like, what you'd change or what you'd improve by leaving me a review! Love ya, fansies.

[therenaissanceofthought-blog]

Entry 1

So you know how sometimes you get that feeling at the beginning of the year that this year was going to be different? Yea........... I had no idea what I was in store for. So let's start from the beginning of this year where my mind was at. So at that time I recently just broke up with my girlfriend. Now that I was looking back at it... It would be more appropriate to call it friend with benefits. (we'll touch on that whole mess at a later time) So that sucked. Oh also I recently kicked out a girl I was and still am totally in love with out of my house. She really didn't have a place to stay at the time. I mean the company was cool but ultimately she wasn't mine and there's only so long you can stay without paying rent. Don't worry she had a place to go. This is all happened in a span of a 2 months. So I did the whole new year's drinking thing with my crew Jon, Rach, Nan, and Mell. Trying my damndest to mask how utterly lost I felt at the time. Honestly my streak with women even up to now is not the greatest(again we'll touch on that later). Anyways after I took that first sip of razzle dazzle:{jack & coke + lemon juice}. I hit me.... I knew that this year was going to different. Like God whispered in my ear "your life is about to change." Oh it changed alright. February of this year I got fired. To be honest it's not the first time I got fired. I got through it. No big whoop. I was burnt out on call center jobs anyways. So got on unemployment immediately. Not going to lie the first 3 months I wasn't trying to find a job. So back to the timeline here. March my cousin died and we had to drive all the way up to philly for the funeral. Only thing about that is it was snowing and we had to turn right back around to beat the storm so we don't get snowed in. Barely got in front of the storm but we made it back(Duh I'm typing this out now obviously). So what's next...... the govt randomly cut my unemployment for 2 months because of their systems. Luckily I had just got my taxes but still tho. April an opportunity of a lifetime came to me on linkedin. A 3d scanning company hit me up to come work for them. You have to understand that I had given up on finding a 3d anything in SC and for one to hit me up.....? Yea I was a little hyped (where's yo curly mustache at?). Went through the whole interview process only to find out they were going through the motions to look good for their HR department. They had already someone they wanted and told they would choose me as soon as another position came open. Still waiting on that call.....*side eye* May and June where real chill months. Jobless but still cool. I was doing side jobs here and there but nothing major. July I met a pretty young thang by the name of Yanna. Sweet as can be but had a really rough past. 1st date was awesome. We went to one of those paint and drink(wine) places. Made out at the end of the date. That rocked for a bit. Then August my car battery went to shit. Literally had to charge every time I got into the car. So I was dealing with that and my new....... person I was talking to. I say that because we hadn't made it to the bf and gf stage. Honestly this whole romance thing is way more complicated than they make it on tv. Besides at the time I wasn't sure about her. Something was off but back to the topic at hand. I mean she was great.... beautiful, funny, smart, spontaneous but something was off. Another opportunity came or so I thought. One of my graphics design apps caught the eye of a scammer that took me for a lot of money(it had a comma in it) So I filed a police report went through that whole process and I know what you're thinking. Ren....... you know at least you still got your girl. Well about that....... I had to cut her off. I caught her doing bumps of coke in my bathroom(I sensed it before I found out). So now again in August I'm back without anyone and now I owe the bank money. *rolls eyes...* Now in October I'm working at a plant for BMW and about to quit after 2 weeks. lol. Yea I know. I know. My feet hurt man. I promise after I get back home I have to sit on my bed for 15-45 minutes for my feet to stop screaming at me. Also my skill set is geared for 3d modeling than manual labor (not that I can't do it). However they told me it was a 5 day a week job but I been working 6. Now they are talking about making it 7 days a week. psssssssssssssh... I have some interviews lined up. So we will see what happens from there. Year isn't over so things can turn around. I'm thinking about moving to Arizona. For a fresh start. I'm pretty sure but Idk that my other posts won't be this long.*shoulder shrugs* well see. Hope to see you next time.