#those soldiers being kinda the only sane men in some ways?

[cloudprincesslady]

sean finnerty honestly might be the most attractive character brennan has ever played......... and that's really saying something

[jencva]

𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝚁𝙰𝙽𝚂𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽 / 𝙻𝙾𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶… 𝟷𝟶𝟶% 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙿𝙻𝙴𝚃𝙴 / 𝚁𝙴𝙲𝙾𝚁𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙳𝙰𝚃𝙰 𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴:

"How do we keep losing her trail? It's worse than tracking Wutai." The glass of whisky was slapped down upon the countertop, a new Soldier blood hightailing as a bounty hunter for ShinRa's top secret inside job, to assassinate a Class A threat. "It is kinda fucked up how all of the sightings so far are being swept under the rug. It leaves me with a ton of calls, paperwork, and extra headaches." Reeve sipped into his drink, not too much of a fan for the taste of it, although after his incident, everything tasted like copper. "Alright. Where are we going next, mister suit?" Reeve glanced over, a simple and quick expression of guilt. They've been going around in one big circle, Reeve trying to lead them astray, even though he knew full well where Jenova was heading. Call it selfish, but... He refused to be a part of what ever was taking place. Experiencing it first hand was the only first time he ever wanted to have again. Come what may, this may have been... inevitable. Before he could even speak, the radio buzzed: All Units on West Sight. We need you to come to facility AUFV7. Coordinates will be set on your tablet's map. AUFV7. The Undercroft...

Reeve couldn't refuse. A binding contract with the company to keep his position, and not wanting to be unraveled as he was from what he witnessed, was now a part of... was terrifying on all fronts. The sane mind was meant for organization, like a diorama. Where everything was in order. This was anything but... "Shit, we've not been close to Nibelhiem like this in a while." The Soldier exclaimed, making a turn with the long line of ShinRa vehicles lined up. Reeve felt sick, flashbacks of what happened a mere month ago playing back in his head. The longing of being behind his desk was suddenly his only place of comfort in his mind. Hands straightened his tie, and tried not to think of the tie in his stomach, Reeve approached the walking crowd. "What've we got?" He asked the others whom were already stationed here. A man with some sort of scar down one of his faces gave a scrunch of his nose. "Th'fuck do you think? Some freak just took down two of my guard men after they escorted some broad bitch in. It's a breach, dude. My men that're in there aren't reachin' back to me on their comms, and all the ways in are locked down tight. I've had to call you twats in to override your high end priced doors to get my men out safe." " --Hey lay off, Cale. You know better than to have your dudes slack off with some girl for pleasure time." Reeve threw up his hands, parting the tension between his Soldier partner and the man in charge. "Guys, guys, come one, lets just get the doors open. You," He pointed to his traveling buddy. "Get the other units in position, and he'll have his remaining outside team up in those towers with snipers. Temp operation. And you," Reeve gestured a look at Cale. "Is this the first time here there's been a breach?" Once more he scrounged his nose, a little envious of the power grab, and upset about the situation at hand. "The very first, and on my fuckin' watch." Reeve came prepared this time, with a click of his revolver, he went to the first entry. Over ride card in hand, it hovered over the scanner, and the light turned green. Welcome Director Tuesti. Said the automotive voice of the door. The lights were red. Blinking in beat of that same sound of the clock. Bodies were...everywhere. Cale saw his team's corpses, and nearly lost his balance. "....No. It can't be." He whispered under his breath, along with a curse word. Reeve knew it, and could even feel that strange pull. The remembrance of her voice was making his ears ring as eyes scanned the mutilated faces of the bodies that lie ahead. He rose up his revolver, turning his head. "Tell group A to follow in, and have eyes everywhere." ______ One by one, they went in, stepping past the first swarm of victims to parish from this madness. Reeve pointed his gun through every corner, and stopped, stopping the line behind him. Whispered; he couldn't believe he was going to bring it up. "Sargent Cale... where is AUFV7 in the facility?" Cale's brows furrowed as his head cocked in Reeve's direction. "I can't fuckin' tell ya that. I'd be shot on spot if I gave it --" "--Sargent Cale. It's what she's after." There was a pause between them, and looks were exchanged. The look of knowing what it was about, Reeve just gave a nod, as if to confirm. It was for the safety of more than just this unit, now. Cale's chest rose and fell, jaw clenched at first, not wanting to believe it, but he had to give it all away... "Base Unit Seven. I will lead the way. Watch my back." The whole way there, all you heard was the breathing of the machine around them, and pitter patter of Soldier boots in sync as they all walked down the line. Door Seven was reached. It was closed. Cale and Reeve looked at one another, wondering who should even open the door. If this door was breached, the whole building could shut down. The head is what powered this place. What was left of what ShinRa held so dearly onto, other than the manufacturing of mako. Reeve stood in front of the door, taking his

keycard and placed it over the keypad. It beeped, and the door opened.

                  𝚃𝚁𝙰𝙽𝚂𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝟷 / 𝟸

            𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐/𝟐?

           ▶ YES             NO

[redsector-a]

AO3 Ask Game

I was tagged by @themarshalstale which, thank you so much! I feel like I always get missed on these (I know why, it’s been 84 years since I published anything but still). 1. How many works do you have on ao3?

46 it seems. Which...look I’m slow man so that’s not surprising. lol Also crippling depression does not make for much production, at least for me.

2. What’s your current AO3 wordcount?

309662 according to the stats.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

So do I could only AO3 or in like life? lol I suppose it should only be on AO3 since this is an AO3 ask game. Hrm. Basically AO3 can be summed up as: Marvel (in several iterations - all Avengers related) Torchwood Highlander But isn’t it more fun to consider my entire fandom life, which, I’m sorry, I’m old so...yeah. Not all of this is was published and beyond that a lot is not available anymore...which is likely for the best. Highlander Star Wars Babylon 5 Ronin Warriors/Samurai Troopers Marvel (again, several iterations also of note Avengers and X-Men both count) Torchwood Star Trek LOTR Stargate (SG-1, SGA) Mortal Kombat I dabbled with the idea of Potter fic but never got past the ideas stage.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1: You rearrange me till I’m sane Clint finds himself spiraling into a deep depression after the Battle of New York...until the Winter Soldier ends up saving him and inadvertently giving him a new purpose – to save the man that the Soldier had once been – Bucky Barnes. Not one to be outdone, the Soldier decides that his new mission is to ensure that Clint remains alive himself. Protecting a blonde man with a self-destructive streak is somehow very familiar to him. Through the back and forth of who is saving whom they cross the country and learn more about themselves and each other – and perhaps find a reason for living. 2: Five Dates Bucky Didn’t Realize He Was on And the One He Planned Himself To say that Bucky was surprised when Clint kissed him was an understatement. But it was nothing compared to the shock he felt when he learned they'd been dating for months without him realizing it.Clint gets whisked away for a mission before they have time to talk and Bucky is left to figure things out on his own - hindsight being 20/20 he can't help but wonder how he missed things the first go around.

3: Puck Luck Bucky Barnes is used to the ups and downs of an NHL season. He's used to the unpredictability of the game, knows that bounces don't always go your way, but that doesn't make a broken hand in the final third of the season any easier to deal with. Especially not when he ends up with an impromptu roommate/personal assistant in the form of one Clint Barton - his agent, Natalia Romanova's (rather attractive) friend he hadn't known existed before his injury.

It's just for six to eight weeks - what could possibly happen in that span of time?

4: Loose Lips Launch Ships

Based on the following prompt: “We go to school together and I think you’re cute and apparently you’re also the pizza delivery guy and my little sibling opened the door screaming hey sibling! you know that kid you’re in love with? you really weren’t kidding when you said his jawline could cut steel holy shit-” Bucky is the pizza delivery guy. Clint's younger (foster) brother has a big mouth.

5: Indelible Bucky Barnes has a pretty decent life – a good job, good friends, a cat that adores him - but something is missing. He’s always found body art to be beautiful and inspiring, and on a whim (and with the hope that maybe he can find what he’s missing) he decides to take the plunge and get a tattoo. That's how he meets Clint Barton. Clint's talented and compassionate and there is an instant spark between the two of them. It's not long before Bucky finds himself wondering and wanting more from the relationship despite the ghosts of the past that crop back up. Because Clint makes him feel normal in a way he truly hasn't for years...

(this was pre-Alpine so I was totally chuffed when canon confirmed Bucky’s status as a crazy cat lady (affectionate).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not.

I really really really want to do it but I often times don’t end up doing it. There are a few reasons. First, I am akwward AF and bad at interaction adn I feel like just saying thank you would be...not enough? Second - I often times tend to like...turtle (aka retreat into myself) when life gets Too Hard/Busy which happens a lot to me (sigh) and then I miss the vague window in my mind in which it would be okay to respond and then it’s even more weird. I do love and cherish all of them. Like there was one months ago that made me go “hmm...I didn’t think I was going to do a sequel to that fic (You rearrange me till I’m sane), timestamp glimpses sure but a sequel hadn’t come to mind” but then the comment made me think! So...who knows? lol Anyway, I literally have been rereading some in an effort to try and get myself going again. Know that if you have commented, I love you.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

At the moment? Probably: Look at you look at me Bucky's in love with Clint - problem is he's really not supposed to be. For Winterhawk Week 2019 - Forbidden Love (I really don’t want to give away the spin in the fic but...if you’re familiar with the Secret Avengers Vol 2 run circa 2013ish (aka when SHIELD initially ‘took control of the team’) that’s a bit of a hint as to the spin). Were it done, Torch Song would be up there. ;) Torch Song Clint is sent back in time, via an alien device, to 1938. While he tries to figure out how to get back home, he takes up singing and entertaining to make ends meet and does his best to not disrupt the timeline.Then he meets a 21 year old Bucky Barnes. --- A torch song is a sentimental love song, typically one in which the singer laments an unrequited or lost love, either where one party is oblivious to the existence of the other, where one party has moved on, or where a romantic affair has affected the relationship.

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Does *wanting* to write crossovers count? lol I want, so badly, to do more crossovers and fusions (which...are kinda deeper versions of crossovers in a way). The only one I do have posted is a crossover between Highlander and Torchwood -

The Immortal Mr. Jones A series of vignettes (some long, some short) in the life of the newly immortal Ianto Jones. My most ambitions project that I have been working on since late 2011/early 2012 is a fusion of the Avengers with Stephen King’s the Stand. I will get that done at some point *shakes fist*  The Stand, for those who don’t know it, is an epic 1000+ page novel about a flu epidemic (I know) that wipes out over 99% of the population and then two figures representing Good and Evil pull the survivors in two directions for a showdown. So basically it’s a non-powered modern AU set in that universe. It’s a passion and comfort project. lol

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. Well, minor bitching back when I was in a prior fandom because I tagged a pairing in a fic but it was pre-slash and not labeled as pre-slash. I got hate on...I think it was Torch Song? And I’ve gotten hate on tumblr re me and my fic in general as well. Fandom! *jazz hands* Oh! And I’ve also been hit by those reviewers within Winterhawk (among general Clint pairings actually) who like rate you on either number scales or the “meh” scale. Which isn’t hate exactly but...it’s passive aggressive bullshit because I can’t believe none of them realize at this point that the authors can see their bookmarks - you know?

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. Do I write it well? I have no idea. lol

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of. Well...there was, I think, one of those reposting sites that had a few fics on it but I don’t think it was being passed off as someone else’s? I can’t quite recall. It’s why I have a note on AO3 about reposting my work anyway.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not entirely, but sort of. Let me explain - I am part of a PBEM game; which for those unfamiliar since it’s a term that was most heavily in use 15-20 years ago, in which you basically do a round robin type writing thing but rather than everyone writing the same characters you write your own characters and you play off what other people have done. Another way of looking at it is  it’s basically DnD without dice and written down rather than done out loud. You also don’t have to all be around at the same time. It’s a lot of fun and yes I have been in it for 20 years even though there aren’t many of us left but they are some of my dearest friends and fabulous writers. Wins all around.  One of the other writers and I have actually toyed with the idea of doing a co-written fic actually, mostly because we work super well together and keep getting ideas for things but can’t really do them as rpgs since the pbem style isn’t used much anymore.

12. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Winterhawk probably. Though, let’s be real - Han & Leia are epic and amazing as are John & Delenn (from Babylon 5).

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Does wanting to expand The Black Stallion books as a wee child count? lol Not much of that was written save for world building ideas but there was a great oral tradition of telling stories to my friends. Otherwise...maybe a tie between Star Wars and Highlander. Star Wars was a love since I was super young but the writing bug didn’t hit me until around the same time Highlander was a thing as well.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? You rearrange me till I’m sane for sure. Though Torch Song, if it were finished, would be tied I imagine (I suck at picking favorites). Honorable mention to Puck Luck and Indelible. Tagging: I have seen this like a million times (okay 5) so I feel like everyone has been tagged already that I know. But...I guess... @vexbatch @crazycatt71 @heartonfirewrites and @disruptedvice sorry if anyone has been tagged before.

[paladin-andric]

An Enemy Within

A sequel to Darkest Hour! A short story set in an alternate, grim future where the human race was nearly annihilated, the last known holdout being a small colony in a bunker deep underground. In this, we learn of the surprising fate of one of the previous characters, and more about the survivors! This bunker-colony is pretty heavily influenced by XCOM. Speaking of which...mood music!

“So that’s the plan.”

The group of officers leaned over a round table of metal, staring up at the mystifying scene above them. Floating above the table, a holographic globe of the planet sat silently, ever so slowly spinning.

They were in the command room, the heart of strategic operations in the resistance. Though humanity was relegated to a small group of survivors in this underground bunker, that didn’t leave them helpless.

The best and brightest they had to offer had invented so many useful things, both on their own and using the stolen technology from the monsters above.

The bastion of humans were extremely militarized, acting more like a special forces division rather than a colony. That was born of necessity, though.

With such low numbers, they needed as many people able to handle themselves as possible.

It had been hundreds of years since the vile sorcerer succeeded in his plot. He poisoned the very air of the world, and all who were exposed turned into hideous abominations, utterly obedient towards the dark sorcerer, who now ruled the world in an iron grip.

Those scant few who managed to seal themselves away waited. They hid and hid for generations, until technology allowed them to seal themselves in suits that could keep them safe from the elements above. Now, they carried out a guerilla campaign against the sorcerer, determined to send him and all his mindless slaves to hell.

In the most recent operation, the survivors investigated a tip of a possible other bastion of survivors, still untouched by the infectious air on the surface. On their way however, they were ambushed by the sorcerer’s minions, and none survived.

Well, except for...him.

He stood with the officers, observing the hologlobe along with them, nodding along and acting as if nothing was wrong.

The fact that he WAS one of those monsters, however, made the scene very unsettling for Albert.

The “man” was a biped with two arms, but that was where the similarities ended. He was covered head to toe in black scales, towered above the others, looked wide enough to stop a car in its tracks, had monstrous, clawed hands and feet, a long tail, and bore a terrifying reptilian visage.

He looked like any other one of those horrible beasts up above...and yet here he was, standing in the beating heart of the last holdout of the human race, somehow not being gunned down right where he stood.

Ah, but that was because he was still sane.

That’s what they had told everyone when he returned, his suit in tatters, clutching his head and groaning quietly, before he was tied down and dragged off into the medical ward, and everyone else was ushered back to their posts.

It had been over a week since that day. Apparently, he was all good now...but was he really?

As the officers all disbanded and walked off to wherever it was they were headed, the monster remained behind, still staring up at the hologlobe. The young soldier approached, causing the beast to turn its inhuman eyes toward him.

Albert felt his heart thud against his chest, half expecting the thing to surge forward and tear his heart out in one swift motion.

But he WASN’T an “it”, and he didn’t do anything of the sort.

“Ah, Albert.” the voice was unlike any the man had ever heard, deep, warbling and distorted...almost as if a demon was standing before the human, speaking to him.

It threw him for quite a loop, and he was certain he failed to hide his fear, but Albert nodded. “Err, Captain Fields, sir.”

“Please. Jacob will do.”

He couldn’t discern the look on the creature’s face. Of course he couldn’t. He could read humans, not...these things!

“Uhh...alright, Jacob.”

The reptilian beast drummed his claws against the metal table in a steady rhythm. “Is there any reason you’re here? I don’t dare imagine you came to see my good looks.” Jacob followed that up with a short, shallow laugh.

“No sir. I just, well…” he hesitated. It was a stupid question, and he was an idiot for bothering with it, but he went ahead anyway.

The soldier cleared his throat. “I was just wondering…” he leaned in close, voice dropping to a whisper. “...what’s it like?”

“What do you THINK it’s like?!” Jacob countered. Even though his visage was utterly alien to him, Albert could tell from the way his brows furrowed and eyes narrowed that he was angry.

The soldier didn’t have any reply. He couldn’t think of anything to say at all.

The monstrous thing sighed and shook his head. “It’s horrible. I keep thinking this is some nightmare I’m gonna wake up from, but every morning I open my eyes, and every morning I’m still THIS,” he said, sweeping his clawed hands over himself.

Albert could almost swear the lizard-thing looked crushed as he finished. “This is hell.”

The soldier struggled to find words. “T-that’s...shit, man.”

The creature turned back to the table and resumed leaning, head lowered. He nodded. “Yeah. It is.”

The once-human’s words were nearly inaudible, he spoke them so quietly

Albert felt a pit in his gut. He really didn’t know what he was expecting, but...this was difficult to stomach. Despite how monstrous and terrifying the creature next to him looked, he could only imagine the man he once knew, looking crushed and forlorn as he stewed over his fate.

There was a lengthy period where both men stood in silence, leaning over the table and staring down at nothing in particular. After a while longer, Albert finally found his voice again.

“I was wondering something.”

“Mhm?”

“Well...from what I’ve always been told...there’s no coming back from this. Once you turn...you’re a monster, a mindless animal, a killer. No one’s ever...turned...and come back.” The soldier finally looked up and over at Jacob. “How did you do it?”

The reptilian tapped his claws against the table once more. “I’ve told this story a million times before.”

“Shit, man, I’m sorry-”

“No, no,” Jacob said sadly, “It’s...it’s fine.”

With a deep breath, the former human repeated what he’d told all the doctors and officers before.

“We got ambushed...I took a shot and went down. I lost consciousness. Dunno how long went by, but by the time I woke up, the things were gone...and everyone else was dead. I-I realized my suit got torn open from the hit, and I started hobbling back. My mask ran out of reserve air, and so I started breathing in the surface air...by the time I got back...I was already one of them.”

Albert grimaced. “Oh God…”

“I heard voices, screaming, had these urges. It was...I guess it’s the same stuff everyone else feels when they turn...but thank God, I was already back here. Nearly got plugged full of holes, but I surrendered and by some miracle, they took me in instead of shooting me.”

“Voices? Urges?”

“The dark one’s corruption,” Jacob answered, “Doctors said the infection shatters your mind, and rebuilds you into a beast that answers only to him. I couldn’t have resisted much longer. If we were any further away when that happened...they’d know our location by now. If I hadn’t blown my brains out before the infection broke me, anyway.”

“Lord in heaven…”

The beast nodded. “I still hear them, you know. They’re quieter now, but I still hear the voices. Still have those insane thoughts. Still feel those...urges.”

Jacob noticed that those words had caused Albert to take a step back, eying him fearfully. He held a hand out and shook his head. “T-there’s nothing to worry about! They’re just...little thoughts now. It’s easy to suppress.”

“I-I just…”

“If I was a threat, would the doctors have let me go?”

The soldier shrugged. “I guess not…”

“Albert, look. I know it’s...hard to believe, but…”

“...you’re still you,” the soldier finished.

The way the lizard winced was quite extreme. “W-well...not exactly.”

Albert’s stomach churned, dread settling over him again. “B-but I thought you…”

Jacob shook his head. “I told you, they’re still there. Faint, but there...and the only reason I haven’t become...feral yet…”

The reptilian dug into a pouch on his belt, pulling out an orange, transparent bottle with a white cap.

“...are these.”

Jacob raised a brow. “Pills?”

“Meds, yeah. They’re used to help people with schizophrenia.”

Albert was more confused than scared now, and Jacob could tell. The lizard shrugged, the pills inside the bottle loudly shaking as he did so. “Docs figured since this infection causes so many of the same symptoms, they might as well try it...and it seems like it’s actually working.”

“Shit, man. You lucked out.”

“You can say that again,” the beast agreed, tucking the bottle away in his pouch again, “Still, it’s not perfect.”

“What do you mean? Seems as good as it could be.”

“I mean, it is, kinda...but still. The boys in the lab can only make these so quickly, and uhh, can only grow the ingredients so quickly. Plus...it’s not like I have a cold. I’m not just taking these and waiting for it to go away. It’s not a cure, Albert...it’s a treatment. Plus, if anyone else gets infected like this, and they can’t make enough meds for us in time...”

“...we’re in deep trouble,” Albert finished knowingly. Jacob nodded.

“That’s right.”

The soldier sighed. “Well, at least you’re okay for now. Glad you’re back.”

“Thanks, I am too. I just wish Irene…”

“I know,” Albert answered with a deep frown, “We were friends, too.”

Jacob looked down, that same pained expression from before clearly visible. Albert crossed his arms.

“Hey, if you ever need someone to talk to...I’ll be all ears, alright?”

The transformed beast’s frown slowly turned into a grin, which was rather terrifying on his serpentine visage. “Thanks. That’s...nice to hear. I’ll have to take you up on that. It’s been pretty lonely in the medical wards.”

“I can’t imagine. Sitting in a bed alone all day…”

“Yeah, it really sucked. Thanks again.”

“Don’t mention it.”

With that, the pair smiled and nodded at one another before the soldier turned and began to walk away.

There was a brief moment of hesitation before Jacob called out.

“Albert!”

The soldier quickly stopped and looked back. “Yeah?”

Jacob approached, appearing...conflicted? Albert was still getting a handle on how the former human’s face worked.

The serpent put a hand on the man’s shoulder, claws hanging over and onto his back. “Listen. I’d rather die than let anyone here get hurt.”

The soldier’s face warped into one of confusion. “Err...yeah?”

“Look. If what I said comes true...if they run out of meds...if I lose it...if I stop being me…” the lizard furrowed his nonexistent brows and gave the man serious look. “Promise me you’ll take care of it. Don’t hesitate. Alright?”

Albert swallowed hard, unwanted thoughts running through his head of his friend going berserk and tearing him in half. “Ah hell Jacob...I can’t make a promise like that.”

The reptilian appeared distressed by that response. “Albert...please…”

“I’m just saying...I don’t know if I’ll be able to.”

“But if it happens-”

“It WON’T happen,” Albert said firmly, his own expression now one of serious resolve, “You’ll make it though this, alright?”

The beast’s face softened as he stared back at his friend, hand still on his shoulder.

“...you’re a good man. Fine. If you can’t promise to put me down, and I can’t promise not to lose it...let’s both just try our best, alright?”

“Deal.”

The large creature slowly stepped back, wearing what appeared to be a smile. “Thanks, Albert. Thank you. Take care of yourself.”

“You, too.”

Tag list: @thereisnothingwrongwithbeingmad, @lady-redshield-writes, @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword, @sheralynnramsey, @tawnywrites, @writer-on-time, @oceanwriter, @zwergis-spilledink, @fluffpiggy, @elliewritesfantasy, @homesteadhorner,  @laurenwastestimewriting, @elaynab-writing, @the-ichor-of-ruination, @candy687, @fierywords, @shewrites-sometimes

[charlyoddsox27]

its 6am, i havent slept, im bored, so im posting a list of the mercs in order of whom i like the most and reasons why, because thats something i should do i guess?

here goes

(spoilers for the comics down below but either way i think im the only person on earth who has never read them before now)

~~~

~~1. Medic~~

reasons for being my favourite:

• fucking. look. at. him. 👌

• 'mad german doctor' is one of my favourite tropes and he is a pretty bang-on satirical depiction of it

• cute-ass german accent

• he has pet pidgeons hE LOVES HIS PIDGEON PALS THEY KEEP HIM COMPANY

• healers are the most respectable class imo and since Medic pretty much started it he's automatically the best, thats how it works right?

• he sold some random persons soul to satan in exchange for a ***ballpoint pen*** and can i just say, fucking mood??? (he is literally the "i'd sell you to satan for one cornchip" meme)

• "yes, Archimedes...I couldn't agree more." *shudders* b oi .. .

• so many more reasons to love this gross old doctor so little room in Tumblrs posts.

~~2. Spy~~

reasons for being my second favourite:

• cranky, done with everyones shit, just wants to be left alone, fucking mood

• he's a spy i mean c'mon. look at the swanky-ass suit, look at the class radiating from this asshole.

• he may be a dick but he has a soft side he's just too jaded to show it most of the time (see: Scouts death in the comics?? real tears. honestly wish they'd panned that out more.)

• masks are hot tbFH--

• he enjoys a nice glass of whisky by the fireplace and so do i (fun fact: france is the biggest importer of scottish whisky in the world so its a nice touch)

• shapeshifting is fucking cool are you serious like he can just. do that. what a legend

• "i have a cyanide pill in one of my molars, if i break it then spit some in your mouth before i die, we can avoid being tortured." *'heavy' bursts in to save them* "PFFTHBTHF--"

• "SEDUCE ME."

• arrogant frenchman is one of my other favourite tropes and this is the most arrogant frenchman ive ever seen

• he's the only fully sane Merc, maybe apart from Engie.

• people love to hate him bc he's an asshole but...come on. after working with all those other weirdos for years, you'd be pretty jaded too.

• as a gross shipper, he's the easiest and the most fun (imo) to ship with Medic (rip me)

~~3. Pyro~~

reasons for being my third favourite:

• would have tied with Soldier if it werent for that one picture of them in the comics holding a puppy over their head with the most adoring expression on their mask??? good Pyro. goodest Pyro.

• doesn't do much in the comics but makes up for it in pure charm. look at that soulless face and tell me you dont love it.

• ambiguous gender ambiguous gender amBIGUOUS GENDER AMBIGUOUS GENDER. she/he/they? trans? nb? whatever you headcanon, it'll never be confirmed so its literally up to your own imagination. fucking ace, Valve 👌👌👌

• likes to burn things. god damnit. they like to burn things, guys. but they enjoy it so much, you just cant hate them, you can only feel a sympathetic joy that this precious lunatic is having fun in their own little world.

• canonically mentally ill (schizoprenia? it could be hallucinogenic drugs but i like to think its schizophrenia.)

• pretty sure they burned a pair of pedophiles in the comics. at least i think thats what those panels were insinuating. "lets open an orphanage and have an endless supply of kids to--" sounds pretty red-flaggy to me tbh. plus they were the villains so, eh?

• bludgeoned a bear to death until its skull was pulp because it insulted their special interest. you go, Pyro.

• for a few bits in the comics they have a really cute family dynamic going on with other Mercs, Soldier for example."Miss Pauling, Pyros on my side of the car." "Miss Pauling, Pyro cut off my hand." fuckin' cuties.

• when they start putting on like 50 shirts to keep warm in the Russian mountains. chubby.

• a gas mask that can function as both badass, and completely adorable.

• just. everything about them. how could you not love them. they're not in the wrong, you are. stay away from my misunderstood child and let them burn things god damnit.

~~4. Soldier~~

look I'm sorry, I love Soldier and he was gonna be tied with Pyro but that fucking puppy drawing sold me.

• absolute gold every second he speaks. he could sneeze and i'll laugh.

• such a dumbass you cant get annoyed at him for it. like. just agree with him and move on. no point reasoning with a boulder. "haha! silly Miss Pauling, thinking theres different types of blood." Medic: "haha yes! indeed, silly."

• HUTTAH *NECK SNAP*

• i'm not American and even i can see how blatantly his character mocks stereotypical Patriotic Americans™. but its so dumb and laughable, its adorable.

• EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ZHANNA IS A BLESSING. EVERYTHING.

• the first "meet the Mercs" video i ever saw was "meet the Soldier" so he holds a special place in my heart

• (preaches about experiencing the horrors of war; has never actually been to war. shh dont tell anyone though--) *neck gets snapped*

~~5. Demoman~~

• I'm Scottish. even though his accent is absolute garbage (no offense to the VA), any representation is very nice.

• Black AND Scottish?? i mean has a character like that even existed before TF2??? amazing example of representation right there. there are barely even any black people in Scotland, how did this happen. I love it. more of this, please.

• he's a drunk guy who blows shit up for shits and giggles and god I wish I could too, sounds like a miracle stress-reliever.

• his sassy black scottish mother. combining the stereotypical black mother with the stereotypical scottish mother is literally the best thing that ever happened.

• the bit in the comic where Medic explains that Demo can't remember what happened to his eye bc he scooped out part of his brain, and the look on Demo's face. just. the look.

• again, he's scottish, he's stereotypical, and he's awesome.

~~6. Sniper~~

• underrated

• piss jars. piss jars everywhere.

• "no dad, im not a crazed murdering lunatic, I'm an assassin. ...well one's a job and the other's mental sickness!!"

• "meet the Sniper" has kickass music

• ruffled gross old man who isn't actually old, he's just seen some SHIT

• actually given development in the comics + some really good scenes with Spy.

• so suave...so...handsome. handsome ruffled bushman. me like.

• he dies first in the comics but gets brought back and gets a cool-ass scar. and then he's just walking around naked everywhere for the rest of the comic. Medic, where the fuck did you put his clothes.

• isn't actually Australian. thats like one of the biggest twists in the comic. "no wonder i was never inhumanly strong and my chest hair didn't grow into the shape of Australia!!" Classic.

• says "bugger" a lot and i love that word

• he needs a hug, let me hug him. and give him a bath.

~~7. Heavy~~

I'm gonna be crucified for putting the big lad so low but i promise i dont dislike any of the Mercs. he'd be higher up but...ive never really liked big huge tank-men tbh :/

• loveable as fuck

• will murder you if you bully his puny little Medic

• i looove Russian accents omfg

• he like big gun. i can respect that.

• when Medic was killed and he went APESHIT on Classic!Heavy and I lost my fuckin' mind over that shit

• he probably has a soft spot for small cute animals. i love imagining him being swarmed by Medics flock of doves and petting them like "good bird...so many good bird..."

• actually smarter than people give him credit for???

• i really really wish his character was a lil more fleshed out but. that's just me. i love him but he doesn't have the same appeal to me as Medic or Spy.

• his entire relationship with Medic...ugh. yes. best friends and/or boyfriends. all good to me 👌

• he named his gun Sasha and that's adorable

~~8. Engineer~~

• gOD, FUCK, I REALLY WISH HE DID MORE IN THE COMICS. i barely know anything about his character. i like him a lot but...god, he...he doesn't...do.....anything.......

• he built a cool robot arm for himself and AI turrets and teleporter machines and guns that fire magic healing powers and immortality machines, in the 1960s. what. some kind of wizard fuckery is this.

• smoothest voice in the west

• "y'all"

~~9. Scout~~

oh god i really am gonna be crucified. i dont hate him i just. like him the least.

• shitboy

• reminds me of a shitty ex but also kinda relateable in a way

• some genuinely funny bits in the shorts.

• gross horny hetero teen boy with a god complex and serious daddy issues. also, he can't read. the "sex bom" tattoo on his chest will be an eternal testament to that. nice job, Spy. you raised him good.

~~~

hoo boy there we go theres all the boys, all the beautiful boys (and Scout) in order of how much i love them. if i made any errors in my info about the canon, feel free to send me death threats 💙 (no seriously tell me though, being a newbie is embarrassing)

so uh. yeah. that took two hours to write. its now 8am. im still bored lol. bye i guess.

[theironweasel]

Code Geass: With Characters Quantity does not equal Quality.

Spoilers for both this and Avatar: The Last Airbender!

I don’t think I’ve ever been quite as conflicted about a piece of fiction than I have after finishing Code Geass. First, before I get into all my issues with the show I want to share an experience I had watching it. Midway through the first episode I almost stopped watching it because I was getting sick of the racism in-show. Don’t get me wrong I’m totally willing to have racism as an issue discussed in a show, however, it didn’t come across as realistic. It just came across as undeserved smug superiority in the villains which is something I can’t stand and there was a lot of it in the first episode, I’ll also address this attitude of the Villains. It was toned down after the first episode, but part of me wishes I had given up because Code Geass is a very flawed show and I’m not sure the time investment was worth it.

The Humor: This is probably the worst aspect of the show, as the humor is really silly and lame and usually results from situations no sane person would create or be involved in, mostly involving idiotic stuff at the school. And for a show this serious, it could have benefited from some quality dark humor which would have fit the tone better.

The Music: There were a number of great tracks in this show lending to the emotional and epic moments, though I wish the editing was a bit better so the tracks could really take over the scenes.

Recap: I never thought that you could make a recap pretentious but Code Geass manages to do it. Some of what the narration says applies to what's going on but it feels less like it’s trying to say something interesting and more like it's just trying to SOUND deep.

The Fights: While there was some cool factor in the fights I found the different mechs to be rather generic. While there were different designs and powers, I never felt they were distinct enough or had enough personality to make most of the fight scenes very engaging.

The Pacing: This is probably the strongest aspect of the series as it is pretty good about building up tension and having events lead into each other pretty well. I will say the season 2 reset kinda hurt things but it did manage to get things back on track pretty fast.

The Plot: This is a bit of a mixed bag as many aspects of the plot are pretty strong but some really don’t work. The weakest of these was probably the Princess Massacre. I get the thematic implication of power corrupting a person, however, it was an accident and not a bad calculated decision, so it just feels contrived, especially since it was so close to being an ending. I feel this was done a lot better with the first F.L.E.I.J.A explosion because it was caused by the command Lelouch gave to Suzaku as he didn’t fully think through the consequences of this command into the future and his murder of Euphemia. There was also the season 1 cliffhanger which I would imagine annoyed the shit out of people at the time. This is something Avatar never did so the best comparison I can make is to the famous Star Trek TNG Best of Both Worlds cliffhanger, which I felt worked better for two reasons. One, it was a conclusion in some sense as it answered one of the big questions of the first episode of whether Riker could handle the responsibilities of Captain. Two, when the next season came out the story immediately continued instead of leading into a soft reset of the status quo. Also, there was the whole Ragnarok Connection (Which by the way, whenever someone said it made me think of the Rainbow Connection, so that took some of the drama out of things.) I’ll just say it right here, it made no goddamn sense. So God is the unconscious mind of humanity and killing it will somehow stagnate humanity, bring back the dead, and end lying maybe? Seriously even the wiki doesn’t really seem to understand it, the best I could get is that it would combine humanity into a single will, but I still don’t get how any of these things have to do with each other. In the end, the whole thing comes off as rather confusing and pretentious with all the metaphysical crap and the moralizing. This is unfortunate because it was a major plot point that the whole show was leading up to and leads into the final arc of the series.

The Villains: Ok I’m just going to come out and say it, the villains suck! One of the problems is CG’s rather fluid nature regarding its villains as a good number of the characters have done something awful and a number of villains don’t really seem to be villains anymore by the end. I appreciate the ability to turn villainous characters into gray or even good characters, but given the lack of character development for even some of the more central characters, it doesn’t work out well as often the villains are no longer villains because plot. Then there is Schneizel who at first seems like a charismatic and even somewhat reasonable villain who is willing to work with his enemies if it serves his interests. I even would have been fine if it had just been a part of a larger chess game to gain power, but then it went that extra step to make him a genocidal maniac who wants to kill billions of people to achieve world peace? Seriously, this makes Koko from Jormungand look sane by comparison. The best comparison I can make is between Princess Cornelia and Princess Azula from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Both are skilled, arrogant, self-assured soldiers who believe not only in their own superiority but in the superiority of their nation. While there are some significant differences such as Cornelia having a soft spot for her sister whereas Azula is almost a sociopath and cares nothing for her brother and whose only weakness is her absolute belief in the power of fear. (Yeah the 14-year-old from the kid’s show is the far more hardcore villain, while Cornelia is willing to kill people in battle, Azula is willing to straight up murder people.) Cornelia only wins against Lelouch when the men under his command refused to listen to him, and the battle is rather minor in the grand scheme of the story. Azula is able to conquer Ba Sing Se, the world's greatest city, kill the Avatar and defeat his friends all by manipulating the city’s own secret police into following her. But I think one of the best examples I can make is between their introduction scenes. While each of these characters has a brief scene or two where we see them before we get a proper introduction to them, the real intro scenes are where they show how serious they are about their jobs and how they deal with what they view as incompetence. Cornelia greets her sister but reminds her to refer to her by her title, which shows that she is serious about her job but is otherwise unremarkable. Then she points her rather stupid looking gun at some bureaucrat and scolds him for being corrupt and incompetent then screams at him to capture Zero. Azula enters by telling her royal guard that they are going to capture Zuko and Iroh and that she understands if they have mixed feelings about it but if they hesitate she will kill them. This establishes how serious she is about the job and it’s unnerving given how young she is. Then when she is told by the captain that the tides would not allow their ship to land when they want she responds with a couple of questions. “I'm sorry, Captain, but I do not know much about the tides. Can you explain something to me? Do the tides command this ship? You said the tides would not allow us to bring the ship in. Do the tides command this ship? And if I were to have you thrown overboard, would the tides think twice about smashing you against the rocky shore? Well, then, maybe you should worry less about the tides who've already made up their mind about killing you and worry more about me, who's still mulling it over.” Throughout the whole scene she never raises her voice or takes aggressive action and for most of her talk with the captain she is not even facing him and even plays with her hair a bit. Hell up to this point the only indication of how dangerous she is was a line about her being a firebending prodigy at the end of the last season. But one thing tells us how dangerous she truly is when she turns to face the captain and when she glares at him beating a hasty retreat it's with what Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood referred to as “The Eyes of a Killer.” She doesn’t need to shout or take violent action in order to intimidate those around her. In fact, it’s scarier because she doesn’t need to do it, she is so confident in herself that all she needs to do is put a thought in someone's head and they will do it because they know the cost of defying her. I think this is something anime generally tends to struggle with: Subtlety. From humor to characters to dialogue it's something the genre doesn’t always handle well. Not always obviously, The Devil Works Part Time had humor that was rather subtle compared to other anime, Cowboy Bebop had great subtle atmospheric touches, and Trigun was capable of having characters with subtle nuances and emotions. Code Geass was not that great at subtlety in really any capacity outside of some character aspects for Lelouch and a few others. Though I will give Cornelia the credit for throwing a knife into V.V.’s head mid-sentence which was both smart and funny.

Characters: Ok this is the weakest aspect of the show, the vast majority of characters in this show range from boring and shallow to insufferably stupid and annoying and there are WAY TOO MANY! I’ve stated how the anime I’ve seen often has a problem with too many characters such as both Fullmetal Alchemist series, Drifters and a few others. But Code Geass is by far the worst in this regard both in quantity and quality. To be honest I can’t remember at least half of their names which is not something that should happen after a 50 episode series. We range from completely forgettable characters like Ohgi whose connection to Kallen was barely looked into and whose love arc makes all the impact of a wet towel. Then you have annoying people like that whiny loudmouth rebel whose name I can’t even bother to look up. Rival and the council president are almost completely forgettable other than the president's habit of doing ridiculous shit that no one in their right mind would do or put up with. Then there’s Nina, the perverted, psychotic, genius, moron. Yeah, talk about someone whose characterization is all over the place. Compare: Robert Oppenheimer, after witnessing the result of the Atomic Bomb he had helped create thought of the line from the Hindu text The Bhagavad-Gita “Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.” Not only as a reflection on the awesome horror that he had unleashed onto the world but also questioning the meaning of that text as an argument for doing one’s duty and detaching oneself from the consequences which he found he could no longer do, that even if he believed it was ultimately the right thing to do he would have to live with the consequences of what he had done. Nina: “I didn’t realize how many people would die!” I get that she is supposed to be seriously unhinged, the creepy table masturbation scene made that abundantly clear, but that's not insane, it's just stupid. Then there are characters with aborted arcs like the Chinese pilot who is supposed to be dying but never does. Even some of the better characters are mostly better just because of the VAs like Lloyd who is mostly amusing because the Voice Actor is great at sounding condescending and aloof in an amazingly camp way. Or Tohdoh simply because he’s voiced by Steve Blum, who also seems to have a barely there arc with Suzaku that goes nowhere. Kallen is probably the best of the characters aside from Lelouch and Suzaku as they at least have an episode where they look into her character, and while it isn’t done that amazingly I’ll give them props for trying on that one. There’s also a trend of weird moments where characters have a reaction or do something that doesn’t make a lot of sense. Such as Kallen’s reaction to discovering Zero’s identity, I could understand a large amount of shock, but she collapses and then runs away, which I never really understood. Or Charles who insists that he really cared for his son despite treating him like dirt which totally wound up biting him in the ass in the end. There is also the problem with Shirley, who for a while just comes off as the boring love interest until her dad dies and suddenly she becomes much more interesting because she has an important connection to Lelouch that affects both their characters, though it would have been nice if they had established her relationship with her father beforehand. Then her memory gets erased returning her to boring status and would have been picked up on immediately if the school characters weren’t rock stupid. But they are so I can actually buy it. And then when she gets her memory back, making her interesting she almost immediately gets killed. It’s like Rollo killed her because she was threatening to become more interesting than him. When I was discussing the problem of too many characters with my dad he offered an explanation I had surprisingly not considered: Filler. While I was used to pointless scenes or plot points being used to kill time. I had never considered a character let alone many characters being used simply to fill up time and that's exactly what many of these characters feel like, just ways to generate plots that can fill a few minutes per episode and this sadly rings true to me given how little impact many of these characters had on the main plot or the main characters yet are present for so much of the story. Hell, there was one character in season 2 who was the son of another character who Zero killed in the first season who we only see twice and the second time is for like 5 seconds as he dies proclaiming he failed to avenge his father. WTF was that? At least Hahn from Avatar: The Last Airbender was an important plot device as Princess Yue’s fiancee and the show comically acknowledged how useless a character he was by making the weakest villain of the show only have to do half a second of tai chi to dispose of him before continuing with his monologue like nothing happened.

Suzaku: While I often got annoyed at how dense he seemed to be about how the system was never really going to change from the inside, he did work well off of Lelouch and his ultimate fate was very well done. I just wish he had more tolerance for Zero as the necessary evil to pressure the system to change from the outside.

Lelouch: This is probably the strongest element of the show as he was a pretty interesting character to start with and by the end of the show he had made a believable descent into basically being a villain. It hit me how well the show had done this when Schneizel reveals everything Lelouch had done to the black knights and at first I was with Diethard in that his actions were more important, but looking at all the people he had manipulated and killed some of whom were even close to different people it hit me how screwed up Lelouch had become.

So I said I was conflicted about the show but I’ve been for the most part pointing out negatives so where does the real positivity come in?

The Ending: This may be one of the most interesting and brilliant endings I have ever seen. I’ll start by saying when I got to the end of episode 21 of season 2 I almost wanted the show to just end with Lelouch and Suzaku seizing the throne because the whole mood was great with the crowd chanting “All Hail Lelouch!” and the implication that both have just straight up become villains, while I’m glad it didn’t and I’m sure it would have pissed off people more invested in the series, I still think it would have been a decent ending. However, that was overshadowed by the real ending of the show which was amazing! It perfectly wraps up the arcs of both Lelouch and Suzaku, condemning them both to the fates they and the world deserve. Lelouch the ultimate rebel must die as the ultimate dictator and Suzaku the Paladin must forever be his own worst enemy. It absolutely fits the themes of the show and gives us Lelouch’s ultimate scheme. While there may be logical problems with all this, from an emotional, thematic and character perspective it all works wonderfully! I wish they had given us fewer hints so that we truly thought that Lelouch and Suzaku had become evil and believed taking over the world was the right thing to do, as it would have made the end even more effective, but there were way too many hints that made it clear they had some sort of plan. I thought they were somehow going to use the Sword of Akasha to make it so Geass never existed but this worked way better. I just wish this ending was for a better show because Code Geass has too many faults to make this one of the greatest endings of all time, which it could have been in my opinion. We often see stories where it is great up until it bungles the ending. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a story with a fantastic ending undercut by the rest of it. However, despite everything, nothing could take away that ending from Code Geass… EXCEPT ANOTHER SEASON!!!!!! WHY!!!?? Ok, I get that the show is popular but why would you ruin that ending by making another season almost a decade later? For people who like the show a lot more than me that ending has to be the best of all time so it would be even worse for them. Unless they have a damn good story to tell with Lelouch of the Resurrection and they somehow make all the characters super interesting I don’t see a point to this asides from filling a demand from fans. Seriously how could it get any more epic or poignant than what we got at the end of season 2? I will probably watch the last season unless I hear it’s total crap but if I was a fan I would imagine I would refuse to watch it unless I heard it somehow gave us a better ending than season 2 did because that ending was near perfect. And please don’t tell me that there was always a plan for this, it’s almost a decade later and any lingering plot threads by the end of season 2 were pretty damn minor, hell Avatar: The Last Airbender’s penultimate scene was massive sequel bait and that just got resolved in the follow-up comic series.

In my opinion Code Geass is a flawed anime with a few very strong elements but it ultimately wasted a lot of its potential by giving us mountains of filler characters, unremarkable villains, awful attempts at comedy and fumbling a few important plot points. If there were an anime that could be totally remade from the ground up I think Code Geass would be an excellent candidate because the basic story and main characters are excellent but redoing the other aspects right could make one of the best Animes and stories of all time.

[networkingdefinition]

Tractors Quotes

Official Website: Tractors Quotes

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• All middle-class novels are about the trials of three, all upper-class novels about mass fornication, all revolutionary novels about a bad man turned good by a tractor. – Christina Stead • Art is no longer snobbish or cowardly. It teaches peasants to use tractors, gives lyrics to young soldiers, designs textiles for factory women’s dresses, writes burlesque for factory theatres, does a hundred other useful tasks. Art is as usueful as bread. – Azar Nafisi

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Tractor', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_tractor').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_tractor img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Cows provide approx 100 million tonnes of dry dung a year costing Rs 5000 crores which saves 50 million tonnes of firewood which again means that many trees saved and more environmental damage prevented. It is calculated that if these 73 million animals were to be replaced, we would need 7.3 million tractors at the cost of 2.5 lac each which would amount to an investment of 180,000 crores. In addition 2 crore, 37 lakh and 50 thousand tonnes of diesel which would mean another 57,000 crore rupees. This is how much we owe these animals, and this is what we stand to lose by killing them. – Maneka Gandhi • Happiness is the twinkle in your grandmother’s eye as you reverse the tractor off her legs. – Hugh Laurie • He (David Beckham) does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It is like a tractor exhaust pipe! – Victoria Beckham • His herding instinct is so strong that he confuses tractors on a baseball field for sheep. He was hospitalized twice. Once by a line drive and once for attacking a tractor tread. – Tom Hayden • How much courage does it take to fire up your tractor and plow under a crop you spent six or seven years growing? How much courage to go on and do that after you’ve spent all that time finding out how to prepare the soil and when to plant and how much to water and when to reap? How much to just say, “I have to quit these peas. Peas are no good for me, I better try corn or beans. – Stephen King • I bought an ant farm. I don’t know where I am going to get a tractor that small! – Steven Wright • I buy a tractor two years ago, and four-fifths of the tractor manual is about not tipping over, not raising the bucket high enough to hit high-tension wire… not killing yourself, basically. And in that manual, I found out – and it cost me a thousand dollars – that when the tractor is new, 10 hours into use of the tractor, you have to re-torque the lug nuts. If you don’t, you will oval the holes. This is buried between the moron warnings. I never found it. I take the tractor in for its regular servicing, and they say my wheels are gone. How am I supposed to know that? “It’s in the manual.” – P. J. O’Rourke • I can’t write on the road. I have to be home. I have to be around all those rusted tractors and dilapidated fences and things like that, because it just grounds me in a way that I can’t find in a hotel room. – John Fullbright • I did as much as I could: raising chickens, pushing an ice-cream cart, bagging walnuts, driving a tractor on a beet farm, working on the railroad. I think this eclectic career helped me a lot in life. – Charles R. Schwab • I didn’t get much peace, but I heard in Norway that Russia might well become a huge market for tractors soon. – Henry Ford • I do not like football, which I think of as a game in which two tractors approach each other from opposite directions and collide. Besides, I have contempt for a game in which players have to wear so much equipment. Men play basketball in their underwear, which seems just right to me. – Anna Quindlen • I don’t know of a better argument in favor of farming with horses than trying to start an old tractor in the winter time. – Gene Logsdon • I dont know how the other senators see me. I hope they see me as a farmer. Thats really what I am. But I dont think they see me on a tractor or fixing equipment. I hope they see me grounded, as somebody who has common sense.- Jon Tester • I drove a tractor almost as soon as I could reach the pedals. – Sheri L. Dew • I had no idea ‘Big Green Tractor’ was going to be as big a hit as it was. You just can’t predict those things. – Jason Aldean • I had to jump on the tractor and do my chores. I would have just killed to be in town, to be able to Rollerblade hand-in-hand with somebody I had a crush on. I just wanted to get off the farm, to find my outlet. – Garrett Hedlund • I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It’ll be either that or an all-black nudist colony. – Zach Galifianakis • I haven’t seen a tractor working all day. The country has gone sane and got back to horses. Farmers all look worse, but they feel better. – Will Rogers • I remember driving the tractor on our farm, and Tim McGraw would be on the radio. I’d find myself walking out of class, singing his songs. And then Tim ended up playing my father in ‘Friday Night Lights.’ It was surreal. – Garrett Hedlund • I said I would do all the films about the commercials, and the films about ball-bearings and Ford tractors and so on, if once a year they gave me money for a free film. – Karel Reisz • I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it’s not right, I do it again. – Britt Ekland • I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. – Jon Tester • I used to help my grandfather on the farm, driving tractors, raising crops and animals. I used to feed some of the baby cows and pigs, and I had to be no older than 7 or 8. Then at about 9 or 10 I started driving tractors. It showed me at an early age what hard work was all about and how dedicated you have to be, no matter what you do. – Tyson Chandler • I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn’t find tractors small enough to fit it. – Steven Wright • I was working on the farm to get in shape, about a mile away from my parents. You know, I did everything as a kid to stay in shape – jogging, work on the farm, driving the tractor. I’ll never forget. – Guy Lafleur • I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you’ll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the 1981 Charleston County High-School Debate Tournament. And whatever became of that county champ who argued in favor of tractor safety modifications? Last time I checked, she didn’t have her own show. – Stephen Colbert • I would say my first golf memory was asking who Arnold Palmer was when he was always on the Pennzoil commercials. When I was a little kid I watched a lot of sports, but I didn’t watch a lot of golf, and this guy was always on a tractor. – Mike Greenberg • I’d rather do manual labor than sit behind a desk. And as my grandparents got older, I’d fly out there and help out around the farm. We’d tear barns down; we’d build barns. I’d rather be outside rolling hay or driving the tractors. – Kellan Lutz • If I hadn’t become a golfer, I doubt I’d be wealthy, because I don’t have the sort of ego that drives a person all day long. I might have wound up driving a tractor. – Fuzzy Zoeller • If we were to go back in time 100 years and ask a farmer what he’d like if he could have anything, he’d probably say he wanted a horse that was twice as strong and ate half as many oats. He would not say he wanted a tractor. The point is, technology changes things so fast that many people aren’t sure what the best solutions to their problems might be. – Philip Quigley • If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don’t have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren’t! Especially if they’ve got hair on them! – Jeff Foxworthy • I’m an outdoor nut. If I’m not working, I’m on a tractor on my farm, hunting, fishing or climbing a mountain. – Jeff Foxworthy • I’m working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, ‘Black Heels to Tractor Wheels. – Ree Drummond • It is unthinkable to have a British countryside that doesn’t have actual functioning farmers riding tractors, cows in fields, things like that. – Bill Bryson • It’s as if the whole notion of growing soil is something only lunatics would think about. But why not grow soil? Does anything make more sense than growing soil? Isn’t that more important than tractors, trucks, silos, barns, county fairs and country music? Of course it is. And yet to the lion’s share of American farmers, the very notion of growing soil is just plain silly.- Joel Salatin • It’s good way to relax when I come home from the road. When you’re out there on the tractor there’s nobody to bother you. – Sterling Marlin • It’s like if every single male artist dressed up as farmers. In every video they were on a farm. Whether it was Jason Derulo or Oasis, they’re always on a tractor, they’re always surrounded by sheep and always in boots. And all the songs are about enjoying farming, and this is all you’ve had for 10 years – you’d think you were going mad. – Caitlin Moran • It’s us fun being a horse when the tractor comes along, or the blacksmith when the car comes along. – Warren Buffett • James Davison took me out to show me where Karl is living right now and where hes going to build. Karl wasnt at home. He was out there somewhere in the woods riding on some Caterpillar or some kind of tractor. But I figured wed at least knock on the door to see if he was there. His wife answered the door. So we got to meet Kay before Karl. – Terry Bradshaw • Let the Black man go – stop lying to us that you love us. And if you really love us, let us go and give us some of this territory that we can call our own; and give us the billions of dollars that we can get started with land and with tractors and the things that will make us an independent nation. – Louis Farrakhan • Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. – Bernie Taupin • Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. – Chuck Grassley • Most of us stand poised at the edge of brilliance, haunted by the knowledge of our proximity, yet still demonstrably on the wrong side of the line, our dealings with reality undermined by a range of minor yet critical psychological flaws (a little too much optimism, an unprocessed rebelliousness, a fatal impatience or sentimentality). We are like an exquisite high-speed aircraft which for lack of a tiny part is left stranded beside the runway, rendered slower than a tractor or bicycle. – Alain de Botton • My father did get enough money to buy mules. We didn’t have tractors, but he bought mules, wagons, cultivators and some farming equipment. As soon as he bought that and decided to rent some land, because it was always better if you rent the land, but as soon as he got the mules and wagons and everything, somebody went to our trough – a white man who didn’t live very far from us – and he fed the mules Paris Green, put it in their food and it killed the mules and our cows. – Fannie Lou Hamer • My father kept me busy from dawn to dusk when I was a kid. When I wasn’t pitching hay, hauling corn or running a tractor, I was heaving a baseball into his mitt behind the barn… If all the parents in the country followed his rule, juvenile delinquency would be cut in half in a year’s time. – Bob Feller • My mother told me I said to her, at age three, ‘I’m going to go to Italy and get my father in a tractor.’ ‘You’ve never seen quite so fierce a little boy as you were,’ she told me. She tried to explain that I couldn’t get my father in a tractor. Apparently I looked at her and narrowed my eyes and said, ‘In that case, I’m going in a double-decker bus,’ and stomped off. Which is kind of funny, but it’s very sad, as well. – Roger Waters • Of course, it’s always bad to lose, of course it’s always a hardship when you lose to yesterday’s miners or yesterday’s tractor drivers. But life is life. It’ll surely go on. – Vladimir Putin • One of the first sights that shocked me, when I came to Israel in 1921, was an Arab turning over a field with a very primitive plow; pulling the plow were an ox and a woman. Now, if it means that we have destroyed this romantic picture by bringing in tractors, combines, and threshing machines, this is true: we have. – Golda Meir • Programs that pay farmers not to farm often devastate rural areas. The reductions hurt everyone from fertilizer companies to tractor salesmen. – Dick Armey • Some of the environmental lobbyists of the western nations are the salt of the earth, but many of them are elitists. They have never experienced the physical sensation of hunger. They do their lobbying from comfortable office suites in Washington or Brussels. If they lived just one month amid the misery of the developing world, as I have for fifty years, they would be crying out for tractors, and fertilizer, and irrigation canals, and be outraged that fashionable elitists back home were trying to deny them these things. – Norman Borlaug • Sometimes I feel people think I live on a commune but I don’t. We are all solar, though. There are no power lines. It’s mostly farmers, so everyone who has tractors uses bio-diesel. – Woody Harrelson • Technically speaking, you drive like a rabid chicken who has hijacked a tractor. – Sarah Rees Brennan • That stupid saying “What you don’t know can’t hurt you” is ridiculous. What you don’t know can kill you. If you don’t know that tractor trailer trucks hurt when hitting you, then you can play in the middle of the interstate with no fear – but that doesn’t mean you won’t get killed. – Dave Ramsey • That’s life. We all go through the tractor blades now and then. We all get bruised, and we all get cut. Sometimes the blade cuts deep. The lucky ones come through with a few scratches, a little blood, but even that isn’t the most important thing. The most important thing is having someone there to scoop you up, to hold you tight, and to tell you everything is all right. – Vicki Myron • That’s the great thing about a tractor. You can’t really hear the phone ring. – Jeff Foxworthy • That’s where I live, a junkyard in a neighborhood of junkyards. We have three tractors from the 1940s and ’50s, several old pickup trucks, and a pile of scrap metal. – Bonnie Jo Campbell • The basic thing a man should know is how to change a tyre and how to drive a tractor. Whatever that bearded dude is doing on the Dos Equis beer commercials sets the bar. That’s your guy. Every man should be aiming to be like him. The beard is just the tip of the iceberg. – Timothy Olyphant • The infantryman slithers in the mud, while many teams of horses are needed to drag each gun forward. All wheeled vehicles sink up to their axles in the slime. Even tractors can only move with great difficulty. A large portion of our heavy artillery was soon stuck fast… The strain that all this caused our already exhausted troops can perhaps be imagined. – Gunther Blumentritt • The only difference between men and women is that women are able to create new little human beings in their bodies while simultaneously writing books, driving tractors, working in offices, planting crops – in general, doing everything men do. – Erica Jong • The things that don’t happen to us that we’ll never know didn’t happen to us. The nonstories. The extra minute to find the briefcase that makes you late to the spot where a tractor trailer mauled another car instead of yours. The woman you didn’t meet because she couldn’t get a taxi to the party you had to leave early from. All of life is a series of nonstories if you look at it that way. We just don’t know what they are. – Anita Shreve • There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. – Bill Bryson • We know that urban farms require less fuel for tractors and transport, but community gardens don’t plant themselves. – Van Jones • Well, I have a farm in Vermont that’s my main residence, where I do lots of digging and mowing, and ride tractors – just so you don’t get the wrong idea that I’m too girlie! – Tim Daly • When a country is in harmony with the Tao, the factories make trucks and tractors. When a country goes counter to the Tao, warheads are stockpiled outside the cities. There is no greater illusion than fear, no greater wrong than preparing to defend yourself, no greater misfortune than having an enemy. Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe. – Laozi • When I was still at school, I’d help Dad at the concrete yard he had prior to the garden centre. I was doing things there, like driving the tractors and forklifts, that most kids my age couldn’t. – Rick Astley • When will they make a tractor that can furnish the manure for farm fields and produce a baby tractor every spring? – George Erik Rupp • Why does a three-year-old, and it’s usually boys, want to drive the tractor or have machinery and be in control of it? I don’t know. Why wouldn’t you ask to boil a kettle or something? Maybe you would, I dunno. – Michael Fassbender • You can tell this by the program the federal government had to train 2,400 tractor drivers. They would have trained Negro and white together, but this man, Congressman Jamie Whitten, voted against it and everything that was decent. So, we’ve got to have somebody in Washington who is concerned about the people of Mississippi. – Fannie Lou Hamer • You know, when Arnold Palmer came on TV with an old tractor and told me to buy Pennzoil, I bought that, and when Dale Jarrett advertises UPS, I can go along with that, too. But I don’t think having an 18-year-old, somebody who’s probably gotten five packages in his life and they were all ‘Girls Gone Wild’ videos, tell me what delivery service I should use would have much effect on me. – Kyle Petty • You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor. – Jeff Foxworthy

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Tractors Quotes

Official Website: Tractors Quotes

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• All middle-class novels are about the trials of three, all upper-class novels about mass fornication, all revolutionary novels about a bad man turned good by a tractor. – Christina Stead • Art is no longer snobbish or cowardly. It teaches peasants to use tractors, gives lyrics to young soldiers, designs textiles for factory women’s dresses, writes burlesque for factory theatres, does a hundred other useful tasks. Art is as usueful as bread. – Azar Nafisi

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Tractor', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_tractor').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_tractor img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Cows provide approx 100 million tonnes of dry dung a year costing Rs 5000 crores which saves 50 million tonnes of firewood which again means that many trees saved and more environmental damage prevented. It is calculated that if these 73 million animals were to be replaced, we would need 7.3 million tractors at the cost of 2.5 lac each which would amount to an investment of 180,000 crores. In addition 2 crore, 37 lakh and 50 thousand tonnes of diesel which would mean another 57,000 crore rupees. This is how much we owe these animals, and this is what we stand to lose by killing them. – Maneka Gandhi • Happiness is the twinkle in your grandmother’s eye as you reverse the tractor off her legs. – Hugh Laurie • He (David Beckham) does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It is like a tractor exhaust pipe! – Victoria Beckham • His herding instinct is so strong that he confuses tractors on a baseball field for sheep. He was hospitalized twice. Once by a line drive and once for attacking a tractor tread. – Tom Hayden • How much courage does it take to fire up your tractor and plow under a crop you spent six or seven years growing? How much courage to go on and do that after you’ve spent all that time finding out how to prepare the soil and when to plant and how much to water and when to reap? How much to just say, “I have to quit these peas. Peas are no good for me, I better try corn or beans. – Stephen King • I bought an ant farm. I don’t know where I am going to get a tractor that small! – Steven Wright • I buy a tractor two years ago, and four-fifths of the tractor manual is about not tipping over, not raising the bucket high enough to hit high-tension wire… not killing yourself, basically. And in that manual, I found out – and it cost me a thousand dollars – that when the tractor is new, 10 hours into use of the tractor, you have to re-torque the lug nuts. If you don’t, you will oval the holes. This is buried between the moron warnings. I never found it. I take the tractor in for its regular servicing, and they say my wheels are gone. How am I supposed to know that? “It’s in the manual.” – P. J. O’Rourke • I can’t write on the road. I have to be home. I have to be around all those rusted tractors and dilapidated fences and things like that, because it just grounds me in a way that I can’t find in a hotel room. – John Fullbright • I did as much as I could: raising chickens, pushing an ice-cream cart, bagging walnuts, driving a tractor on a beet farm, working on the railroad. I think this eclectic career helped me a lot in life. – Charles R. Schwab • I didn’t get much peace, but I heard in Norway that Russia might well become a huge market for tractors soon. – Henry Ford • I do not like football, which I think of as a game in which two tractors approach each other from opposite directions and collide. Besides, I have contempt for a game in which players have to wear so much equipment. Men play basketball in their underwear, which seems just right to me. – Anna Quindlen • I don’t know of a better argument in favor of farming with horses than trying to start an old tractor in the winter time. – Gene Logsdon • I dont know how the other senators see me. I hope they see me as a farmer. Thats really what I am. But I dont think they see me on a tractor or fixing equipment. I hope they see me grounded, as somebody who has common sense.- Jon Tester • I drove a tractor almost as soon as I could reach the pedals. – Sheri L. Dew • I had no idea ‘Big Green Tractor’ was going to be as big a hit as it was. You just can’t predict those things. – Jason Aldean • I had to jump on the tractor and do my chores. I would have just killed to be in town, to be able to Rollerblade hand-in-hand with somebody I had a crush on. I just wanted to get off the farm, to find my outlet. – Garrett Hedlund • I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It’ll be either that or an all-black nudist colony. – Zach Galifianakis • I haven’t seen a tractor working all day. The country has gone sane and got back to horses. Farmers all look worse, but they feel better. – Will Rogers • I remember driving the tractor on our farm, and Tim McGraw would be on the radio. I’d find myself walking out of class, singing his songs. And then Tim ended up playing my father in ‘Friday Night Lights.’ It was surreal. – Garrett Hedlund • I said I would do all the films about the commercials, and the films about ball-bearings and Ford tractors and so on, if once a year they gave me money for a free film. – Karel Reisz • I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it’s not right, I do it again. – Britt Ekland • I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. – Jon Tester • I used to help my grandfather on the farm, driving tractors, raising crops and animals. I used to feed some of the baby cows and pigs, and I had to be no older than 7 or 8. Then at about 9 or 10 I started driving tractors. It showed me at an early age what hard work was all about and how dedicated you have to be, no matter what you do. – Tyson Chandler • I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn’t find tractors small enough to fit it. – Steven Wright • I was working on the farm to get in shape, about a mile away from my parents. You know, I did everything as a kid to stay in shape – jogging, work on the farm, driving the tractor. I’ll never forget. – Guy Lafleur • I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you’ll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the 1981 Charleston County High-School Debate Tournament. And whatever became of that county champ who argued in favor of tractor safety modifications? Last time I checked, she didn’t have her own show. – Stephen Colbert • I would say my first golf memory was asking who Arnold Palmer was when he was always on the Pennzoil commercials. When I was a little kid I watched a lot of sports, but I didn’t watch a lot of golf, and this guy was always on a tractor. – Mike Greenberg • I’d rather do manual labor than sit behind a desk. And as my grandparents got older, I’d fly out there and help out around the farm. We’d tear barns down; we’d build barns. I’d rather be outside rolling hay or driving the tractors. – Kellan Lutz • If I hadn’t become a golfer, I doubt I’d be wealthy, because I don’t have the sort of ego that drives a person all day long. I might have wound up driving a tractor. – Fuzzy Zoeller • If we were to go back in time 100 years and ask a farmer what he’d like if he could have anything, he’d probably say he wanted a horse that was twice as strong and ate half as many oats. He would not say he wanted a tractor. The point is, technology changes things so fast that many people aren’t sure what the best solutions to their problems might be. – Philip Quigley • If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don’t have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren’t! Especially if they’ve got hair on them! – Jeff Foxworthy • I’m an outdoor nut. If I’m not working, I’m on a tractor on my farm, hunting, fishing or climbing a mountain. – Jeff Foxworthy • I’m working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, ‘Black Heels to Tractor Wheels. – Ree Drummond • It is unthinkable to have a British countryside that doesn’t have actual functioning farmers riding tractors, cows in fields, things like that. – Bill Bryson • It’s as if the whole notion of growing soil is something only lunatics would think about. But why not grow soil? Does anything make more sense than growing soil? Isn’t that more important than tractors, trucks, silos, barns, county fairs and country music? Of course it is. And yet to the lion’s share of American farmers, the very notion of growing soil is just plain silly.- Joel Salatin • It’s good way to relax when I come home from the road. When you’re out there on the tractor there’s nobody to bother you. – Sterling Marlin • It’s like if every single male artist dressed up as farmers. In every video they were on a farm. Whether it was Jason Derulo or Oasis, they’re always on a tractor, they’re always surrounded by sheep and always in boots. And all the songs are about enjoying farming, and this is all you’ve had for 10 years – you’d think you were going mad. – Caitlin Moran • It’s us fun being a horse when the tractor comes along, or the blacksmith when the car comes along. – Warren Buffett • James Davison took me out to show me where Karl is living right now and where hes going to build. Karl wasnt at home. He was out there somewhere in the woods riding on some Caterpillar or some kind of tractor. But I figured wed at least knock on the door to see if he was there. His wife answered the door. So we got to meet Kay before Karl. – Terry Bradshaw • Let the Black man go – stop lying to us that you love us. And if you really love us, let us go and give us some of this territory that we can call our own; and give us the billions of dollars that we can get started with land and with tractors and the things that will make us an independent nation. – Louis Farrakhan • Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. – Bernie Taupin • Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. – Chuck Grassley • Most of us stand poised at the edge of brilliance, haunted by the knowledge of our proximity, yet still demonstrably on the wrong side of the line, our dealings with reality undermined by a range of minor yet critical psychological flaws (a little too much optimism, an unprocessed rebelliousness, a fatal impatience or sentimentality). We are like an exquisite high-speed aircraft which for lack of a tiny part is left stranded beside the runway, rendered slower than a tractor or bicycle. – Alain de Botton • My father did get enough money to buy mules. We didn’t have tractors, but he bought mules, wagons, cultivators and some farming equipment. As soon as he bought that and decided to rent some land, because it was always better if you rent the land, but as soon as he got the mules and wagons and everything, somebody went to our trough – a white man who didn’t live very far from us – and he fed the mules Paris Green, put it in their food and it killed the mules and our cows. – Fannie Lou Hamer • My father kept me busy from dawn to dusk when I was a kid. When I wasn’t pitching hay, hauling corn or running a tractor, I was heaving a baseball into his mitt behind the barn… If all the parents in the country followed his rule, juvenile delinquency would be cut in half in a year’s time. – Bob Feller • My mother told me I said to her, at age three, ‘I’m going to go to Italy and get my father in a tractor.’ ‘You’ve never seen quite so fierce a little boy as you were,’ she told me. She tried to explain that I couldn’t get my father in a tractor. Apparently I looked at her and narrowed my eyes and said, ‘In that case, I’m going in a double-decker bus,’ and stomped off. Which is kind of funny, but it’s very sad, as well. – Roger Waters • Of course, it’s always bad to lose, of course it’s always a hardship when you lose to yesterday’s miners or yesterday’s tractor drivers. But life is life. It’ll surely go on. – Vladimir Putin • One of the first sights that shocked me, when I came to Israel in 1921, was an Arab turning over a field with a very primitive plow; pulling the plow were an ox and a woman. Now, if it means that we have destroyed this romantic picture by bringing in tractors, combines, and threshing machines, this is true: we have. – Golda Meir • Programs that pay farmers not to farm often devastate rural areas. The reductions hurt everyone from fertilizer companies to tractor salesmen. – Dick Armey • Some of the environmental lobbyists of the western nations are the salt of the earth, but many of them are elitists. They have never experienced the physical sensation of hunger. They do their lobbying from comfortable office suites in Washington or Brussels. If they lived just one month amid the misery of the developing world, as I have for fifty years, they would be crying out for tractors, and fertilizer, and irrigation canals, and be outraged that fashionable elitists back home were trying to deny them these things. – Norman Borlaug • Sometimes I feel people think I live on a commune but I don’t. We are all solar, though. There are no power lines. It’s mostly farmers, so everyone who has tractors uses bio-diesel. – Woody Harrelson • Technically speaking, you drive like a rabid chicken who has hijacked a tractor. – Sarah Rees Brennan • That stupid saying “What you don’t know can’t hurt you” is ridiculous. What you don’t know can kill you. If you don’t know that tractor trailer trucks hurt when hitting you, then you can play in the middle of the interstate with no fear – but that doesn’t mean you won’t get killed. – Dave Ramsey • That’s life. We all go through the tractor blades now and then. We all get bruised, and we all get cut. Sometimes the blade cuts deep. The lucky ones come through with a few scratches, a little blood, but even that isn’t the most important thing. The most important thing is having someone there to scoop you up, to hold you tight, and to tell you everything is all right. – Vicki Myron • That’s the great thing about a tractor. You can’t really hear the phone ring. – Jeff Foxworthy • That’s where I live, a junkyard in a neighborhood of junkyards. We have three tractors from the 1940s and ’50s, several old pickup trucks, and a pile of scrap metal. – Bonnie Jo Campbell • The basic thing a man should know is how to change a tyre and how to drive a tractor. Whatever that bearded dude is doing on the Dos Equis beer commercials sets the bar. That’s your guy. Every man should be aiming to be like him. The beard is just the tip of the iceberg. – Timothy Olyphant • The infantryman slithers in the mud, while many teams of horses are needed to drag each gun forward. All wheeled vehicles sink up to their axles in the slime. Even tractors can only move with great difficulty. A large portion of our heavy artillery was soon stuck fast… The strain that all this caused our already exhausted troops can perhaps be imagined. – Gunther Blumentritt • The only difference between men and women is that women are able to create new little human beings in their bodies while simultaneously writing books, driving tractors, working in offices, planting crops – in general, doing everything men do. – Erica Jong • The things that don’t happen to us that we’ll never know didn’t happen to us. The nonstories. The extra minute to find the briefcase that makes you late to the spot where a tractor trailer mauled another car instead of yours. The woman you didn’t meet because she couldn’t get a taxi to the party you had to leave early from. All of life is a series of nonstories if you look at it that way. We just don’t know what they are. – Anita Shreve • There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. – Bill Bryson • We know that urban farms require less fuel for tractors and transport, but community gardens don’t plant themselves. – Van Jones • Well, I have a farm in Vermont that’s my main residence, where I do lots of digging and mowing, and ride tractors – just so you don’t get the wrong idea that I’m too girlie! – Tim Daly • When a country is in harmony with the Tao, the factories make trucks and tractors. When a country goes counter to the Tao, warheads are stockpiled outside the cities. There is no greater illusion than fear, no greater wrong than preparing to defend yourself, no greater misfortune than having an enemy. Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe. – Laozi • When I was still at school, I’d help Dad at the concrete yard he had prior to the garden centre. I was doing things there, like driving the tractors and forklifts, that most kids my age couldn’t. – Rick Astley • When will they make a tractor that can furnish the manure for farm fields and produce a baby tractor every spring? – George Erik Rupp • Why does a three-year-old, and it’s usually boys, want to drive the tractor or have machinery and be in control of it? I don’t know. Why wouldn’t you ask to boil a kettle or something? Maybe you would, I dunno. – Michael Fassbender • You can tell this by the program the federal government had to train 2,400 tractor drivers. They would have trained Negro and white together, but this man, Congressman Jamie Whitten, voted against it and everything that was decent. So, we’ve got to have somebody in Washington who is concerned about the people of Mississippi. – Fannie Lou Hamer • You know, when Arnold Palmer came on TV with an old tractor and told me to buy Pennzoil, I bought that, and when Dale Jarrett advertises UPS, I can go along with that, too. But I don’t think having an 18-year-old, somebody who’s probably gotten five packages in his life and they were all ‘Girls Gone Wild’ videos, tell me what delivery service I should use would have much effect on me. – Kyle Petty • You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor. – Jeff Foxworthy

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