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brelbyyy · 3 years

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I’m re-watching supernatural and oh BOY IS IT FUCKING LONG AS HELL.

Here’s season one with most of the important story stuff if yer too lazy to re watch season 1 or just don’t have the time.

notes~ Sam and dean are bro’s they mom died and their dad is like ehh let’s kill monsters until we kill whatever killed Sara or what’s her name. Sam had friends and a gf but dean dropped by with the news of dad being missing when on a hunt, Sam left the hunting life but goes bc it’d be a dick move to not, bla bla they find dad’s journal idk it probably says something bla bla bla sams gf died the same way mama died and Sam ditches his life to hunt with dean. That’s the end of episode one :)

So bla bla they still can’t find dad but uh apparently dad left a note in his journal about some number stuff, uuuhhhh a few episodes later Sam gets over his daddy issues and oh uh he also dreams of the future like in the Bloody Mary ep it’s revealed he dreamt of his gf’s death DAYS before it ever happened and like he still gets dreams of the future or something. Some poltergeist is copycating the mama killer with another family living in the old Winchester home and like Sam is freaking out about “it’s there bro we need to do some monster fighting ggihfwd-“ deans a bit traumatized about his childhood home cuz uuhhh mommy dearest death, he goes anyway. They meet a psychic their dad meat after a few days ater the fire n’ uh she’s real cool. (ALSO THE BOI MEET MOMMY BC THE POLTERGEIST WAS HURTING SAM, SHE SACRIFICED HER SPIRIT FOR HER CHILDREN, oh uh also dad was at the cool ladies home but Sammy didn’t sense him)

(Also somewhere between here a changing or whatever the fuck stole deans identity n’ caused a lot of crimes, like murder n’ torture. Maybe Sam too? As an accomplice for helping the REAL dean)

Huh huh Sam’s daddy issues returned when dad called to tell them to stop looking for him and uh the mommy killer is a demon >:D bla bla sam n’ dean have a brothers Quarrel cuz dean wants to be a good son bla ba Sam runs away only to find this hitchhiker chick n’ she’s edgy in oh woe is me my family is terrible bla bla dean calls to apologize and say goodbye but like later on Sam tries to call dean back but uuuhh he’s too busy getting sacrificed to some scarecrow god. Sams like “oh no my brother NEVER turns off his phone :’(“ and girly is like u wot u crawling back to yer family???? Come with me,,, bla bla sam saves dean and some other girl and BAM! Hitchhiker girl is eevviiillllll making blood bowl calls to her big boss/dad complaining about not being allowed to kill the Winchester bro’s and uuhhh idk.

So Sammy boi gets visions of the not so distant *FUTURE* about some guy getting murdered in way that looks like a suicide dadadq the bro’s think DEMON SPIRIT CURSE! BUT WHOOPTIE DOO IT WAS THE ABUSED SON WHOyKILLED THE FUCK-TERDS and now its time for step mommy to DIE. Turns out lil mommy killer killed this guys mom too and in the exact same way as dean and sams mom, Sam tries to talk it out but he gets closeted and telekinesis his way out when he visions deans death bla bla the other dude kills himself. Apparently hitch bicker girl is named Meg (god I really have to remember come name.) oh murder muerder trap set up for the boyos set up by Meg and her boss/dad to get to Sam and deans daddy also Meg is a fucking nasty thot. Sammy breaks free and set those shadow puppies free to make Meg swan dive n’ DADDIES HOME! Family reunion or something BUUUTTT Meg is still thoting around She pretended to be dead to give everyone a false sense of security. Ba ba ba shadow boom boom light stick aaannnd dad has to leave cuz he’s vulnerable near his bois (he fights reckless, do or die type of deal and he can’t do that when he’s near his sons cuz he’s worried about them).

More episodes later daddy dearest sends the boys to some place with very sick kiddos, like hospital sick. Turns out dad was trying to hunt this with thing but it escaped n’ now our Winchester gang is here to finish the job! Bla bla flashbacks on how dean had to sacrifice everything to make Sammy happy (the lucky charms) dean had to grow up quick for Sam to be a somewhat normal kid.

HHUUUGGHHHHH- AN OLD HUNTING PAL OF DAD’S DIED FROM MONSTERS AND THOSE COWBOYS FUCKS STOLE THIS SUPER RAD OP GUN CALLED THE COLT! Dad wants this gun cuz it’s apart of his big plan to kill the demon, bla bla dad learns to trust his boys and he finally lets them come along on the revenge train >:D they got the super op gun n’ it rocks.

Paster Jim is dead cuz Meg slit his throat, bla bla she wants the colt n’ starts threatening the lives of everyone that EVER helped em uuhhhh the gang buys a old gun n’ dad gonna pretend it’s the colt dad goes away again to trick the demons that HE has the gun something something they find out idk I forgot the rest.

( He’s kidnapped)

OH OH THEY MEET UH JIMMY? THE OLD UNCKE GUY WHO LIVES IN A GARBAGE PLACE? IDK WHAT ITS CALLED- no wait his name is Bobby, I can’t believe I forgot Bobby’s name oh and uncle bob teaches the boys the demon trap thingy and how more demons are walking among humans like something big bad is happening. Meg visits bla bla she’s stuck in the demon trap, intaragation time about dad and they threaten exorcism bla bla meg reveals what she knows. Ba ba ba dean wants to continue with the exorcism but Sam is like we promised n’ Bobby’s says that the possessed girl would DIE cuz Meg broke the body bla bla the body would fall apart without Meg but like? The girls still in there and I think she needs to be put out of her misery cuz wtf???? That’s not fun but Bobby’s like nooo she’d die but Sam listens to reason and continues the exorcism.girl is super dying. Do de de girl was possessed for a whole year la la la girl tells the stuff Meg left out bo bo ba girl dies.

EEHh still episode twenty something, they go to a river near a place called sunset something, Sam and dean have a fight over something dean’s like “we can kill these fuckers Sam” but sam’s like “dad wouldn’t want us to waste the bullets cuz like ravenge, we got a job to do.” Dean argues “but this is dad! You all are self sacrificing or something”. bla bla separate the humans from the demons by pulling he fire alarm! They steal some fire fighter swag to sneak into the building, they trap those demon fucks in a closet w/ salt and they get dad but the demons come.

Dean uses a colt bullet to save Sam from getting beaten to death by demon w/ making swoosh throwing powers now their back at Bobby’s and SALT THE SHIT out of the house. Dad praises dean for using a bullet to save Sammy, the demons come n’ Sam goes to check the salt: dad asks for the gun but dean goes “your not my dad, he would never praise me for using a bullet” Sam comes back bla bla bla DAD REALLY WAS POSSESSED! A DEMON WHOSE IMMUNE TO HOLY WATER (they checked him before when they saved him) IT’S THE DEMON WHO KILLED MOM, the mom killer reveals says that this is justified cuz they exorcist Meg (his daughter) and the guy dean shot was his son but like bitch get off your high horse all you & yer kids have been doing was trying to kill or fuck things up for the Winchesters. Uwawa mommy killer monologues about killing mom and sam’s gf cuz they got in the way for his plans for Sammy and AALLL THE SPECIAL PHYCIC KIDS LIKE SAMMY! yellow eyed bastard goes off on dean for interrupting him by saying “eehh waahh you give EVERYTHING to this family but they don’t need you not like you need them, Sammy is the favourite kid.” So deans like ooh getting too personal huh? I’m gonna mention your super dead or in hell kids BITCH! so yellow guy just straight up tries to kill dean with magic demon mind powers, deans calls out for dad to not let the mom killer kill him AANNND IT WORKKSSS for a bit: sam’s free to shoot the yellow guy but he’s like “you kill me, you kill dad” but Sam doesn’t give a FUCK and just shoots him.

Sam aimed in a non vital place but that didn’t work, THE FUCK IS STILL ALIVE IN DAD! Luckily san couldn’t pull the trigger to put pops down n’ the demon goes back into the ground after getting shot by ☆SUPER EPIC COLT GUN☆.

Wait where the fuck was Bobby??? Oh wait maybe they weren’t at Bobby’s....

They go on the road to take dad to the hospital, they chat about “why didn’t you kill the demon, I thought we saw eye to eye” but like Sam loves you too much John, he doesn’t need the trauma of killing you- THE BOYS GET IN A CAR CRASH, THAT DEMON ISN’T FUCKING AROUND and then the episode 22 ends.

ALRIGHT THATS THE END OF SEASON ONEE, I wish I write down more about the episodic ones, I liked those ....like the lake one! Dean would’ve made a great father to that kid.

Tldr thing??? So Sammy n’ dean’s mom gets murdered by a super demon when they were kids,dad goes on a rampage against all monsters and the boys get sucked into that lifestyle too forever, Sammy is a phycic special boy and there’s other special kids the demon made. They get special gun to kill the demon but it didn’t work so now they got in a car crash the end. Also demons among humans haha yeaah forget that

#supernatural #supernatural s1 recap #supernatural season one #supernatural season one recap #recap

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keepthefrank · 4 years

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tagged by jade @cowgirlfem thank u !!!

name? charlotte

nickname? used to be blondie but it’s always been char

zodiac sign? libra sun pisces moon cap rising

height? 5’4

languages? english but also some insults/rudimentary spanish and i used to be fluent in german but now i have brain rot so significantly less than fluent

nationality? yt american

favourite seasons? fall!!! except i always get a depressive episode around my birthday 🥴

favourite flowers? peonies, lupines, lilies

favourite scents? orchid + snapdragon + lavender + lily + rose + vanilla

favourite colours? i have a tag for the specific green i like (like the haze of 35mm film from the 70s, or an overcast sky on a green lawn, or the way some black cotton shirts fade green). also burgundy lol

favourite animal? deer but any cervidae member and also as an original horse girl i’m supposed to say horses

favourite fictional character? rn i'm hyperfixating on atla lmao which means i’m trying to figure out if i want to be sokka or if i want to marry him. also ronan lynch lives in my mind rent free

coffee, tea or hot chocolate? i was mostly a tea drinker for the longest time but when i was in the hospital i drank like 6 cups of coffee a day so over 120 days home and i have a cup every night before bed

average amount of sleep? either like 3 hours or 14 there is no in between

dogs or cats? dogs bc my dog is my best pal

average amounts of blankets you sleep with? rn it’s just a sheet + my down duvet. but like. i’m flexible

dream trip? i’ve always thot it would be cool to go to germany!! but again, i speak much less german than i used to... also i apparently have family in norway so it would be cool to meet them

blog established? august 2013 :/ i hate it here

followers? 1093 on my this blog (my main)

random fact? sometimes i think seriously about pursuing comedy lmao like where else am i going to tell half of the batshit stories from my life? but the thing is that i have a chronic need to be liked and debilitating imposter syndrome so guess i’ll die

i’m tagging @hexthesystem @bagginshield @fuhking-frnk @doomdpatrol @spaceboyfrnk go crazy go stupid... or don’t 🖤

#thank u jade i'm sorry it took me all day to answer this #i was literally in bed and jumped up and grabbed my laptop just now so i could do it proper lol #anyway. thank u #blondie babbles

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acosmic · 4 years

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thots on dolls, i'm curious abt how u got into them/what u like abt them

dolls are neat! sometimes you’re a fourteen-year-old kid with unrestricted internet access living in a town without art and a best friend who you hate as much as you hate yourself -- but this friend has good taste sometimes and oh no

they show you, or you find, this, and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. (taste is an acquired thing, i don’t know what i was thinking). and then there’s her (it’s been eight years and i’d still sell my soul for her) and her and these and these and even this hideous fucker has amazing detailed construction and tiny intricate details if you look closely even though he’s ugly as all hell (his owner and i are no longer friends, he was not a factor but i’m so glad i get to trash him because jesus christ what IS that). and you look into it a bit further and holy shit you can customize them, they come in one colour and sometimes in pieces and when you’re doing their makeup you’re actually pretty much adding their skin since they don’t have blood vessels or freckles or anything. and you can make their clothes and wigs and shoes (it’s way cheaper that way) and there are wildly different sizes and styles and levels of poseability and they only really became a thing in the late 90s so the older ones look simplistic and awkward but they still look sweet. some of them have intense expressions, or stylized ones, but most of them only come with one face and photographing them is like making postmortem pictures look lifelike.

they have this weird sense of personality to them, even the serene-looking ones. when i bought ada (third link above), it was kind of terrifying? she was tiny and fragile and the seller didn’t put her head on and she came in a pink child-size shoebox with all these tiny tiny clothes and accessories with her face painted on (here she is) and she was literally seventeen centimetres tall. i hate kids, i’m not a fan at all, but it was like seeing a new baby. and then she was a brat! she doesn’t like holding poses, her limbs snap around, her head lolls around on its socket, and she goes cross-eyed if you bump her slightly. she can’t decide on a hairstyle or eye colour, she hated her original face and she hates how i redid it, and she’s too tiny and delicate to take anywhere. i love her so fucking much. i’ve had her since i turned sixteen, and i’m twenty-two now. the reason i like lola so much isn’t just that hesitant alien is a kickass album, it’s because there’s this weird little creature and it’s you and it’s also not you and it’s your best friend and a strong critic of your every move and it’s cute and it’s fuzzy and it’s not real like a person but it’s kind of more real than that?

other dolls are cool too. i’ve spent more time with this $40 impulse purchase than i have with all $200 USD of ada, and i love her a lot too, but in a different way. some people use dolls to “shell” their characters, but mine tend to just happen, and ada’s character is more important than emi’s, no matter how cooperative emi is. one of my other oldest dolls is a pair of legs (because she’s the type you can buy as separate parts) and i keep putting off assembling her entire body because she feels like art and she’s kind of my favourite weird sculpture now. even the ones that don’t work out are really neat to have around -- most doll hobbyists sell members of their collection that don’t work, some are like revolving doors, others keep everything, so there’s always a secondhand market going that you can add to or pull from, or just look at for inspiration.

the customization aspect is really fun, too. some of them you have to reinvent from the ground up (i finally got a blythe and that’s what i’ll be doing with her as soon as my WIP list is at a better point), others you have weirder tasks on, like dyeing or repainting a body to revitalize it/suit a character (doing that to a unoa kit like the one pictured above) or modifying it to improve poseability or visuals (i’ve been hacking at a barbie body so she can bend her legs to fit in her wheelchair). sculpting your own dolls is a super-involved process, but i’ll do that eventually too (reading books about it is really meditative, especially since they tend to be in other languages so you have to inspect the pictures super closely. it’s like targeted dreaming). making doll clothing was a really strong draw for me for a while -- i wasn’t happy with how i exist in a body and it’s never the way i want, so i used dolls as kind of clothing horses for styles or designs i wouldn’t or couldn’t wear myself. now that i feel better about that, the dolls just kind of get what they want (and i’ve been neglecting them to sew for myself lmao but they don’t mind).

my phases run in weird cycles, so i’m really out of the loop on new developments relating to anything other than mattel inc. (the fashion doll community on tumblr is great), but it seems like the hobby is getting a lot more creative and a lot less stale than it was the first couple of times i was really into it. it’s this fluid, ever-changing thing that makes jumping back in really interesting (and a lot of work), but there’s still this comforting base to it that stays the same (use respiratory protection and high-quality materials when doing faceups, don’t buy recasts, volks/fairyland/alchemic labo are popular and cute). and if you swap doll types, there’s months/years more of entertainment. (i have big gay autism, or, like, adhd-autism crux/combination, and research is so fun)

dolls are great! they’re like muses, photography subjects, OCs, clothes horses, mascots, art projects, and (sometimes) investments all at once. whatever kind of phase i’m in, there’s something i can do with them. and they’re good company, and great for decoration and indulging your goth sensibilities and freaking out your visitors if you feel like it

random bag of onions to finish off: creepy and cute are accidental and if you deliberately aim for them you’ll get boring off-base results, what kayla said about s*x dolls applies to other types of doll too (if you try to put too many conventionally attractive features together you’ll just end up with something uncanny and grotesque instead of something really beautiful), toyetic design is for babies, doll hobbyists esp. forum communities still have a lot of unconscious biases esp. racism and homophobia to unpack, recasting is art theft and is killing the community via its artists but barbie/blythe/integrity knockoffs are basically a moral responsibility, and art dolls with huge hips are the new minifee chloes

#this got long because i. dolls.#asks #vampixie

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lizzybeth1986 · 6 years

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Quick Thoughts on DD Book 1 Chapter 5

• Content Warning: There are references to slut shaming while speaking about opera singers, and I speak about executions in the Hamid scene (I've not added grisly details or anything, but to me what I have included does sound a little macabre). I don't know if those warrant a warning, but I'd like to err on the side of caution and ensure that anyone comfortable with that knows this before they make the decision to proceed.

• Okay on with the QT!

• Why hello there, fancy hot looking Ottoman prince dude.

• Looks like not one but both of my MCs will be living the thot life.

• Apologies for the huge delay guys. There was a LOT to unpack this chapter, and it took me a while to actually explore, confirm my research and get a clear idea overall of how I wanted to approach this one. I'm hoping once TRR ends I can get these babies out earlier.

• You know what I realised? The Lady Grandma LIKES a sassy bitch. There are several times this chapter she's actually been more approving of my headstrong Marianne than she has been of my more mild-mannered Florence. See all of this:

She's mostly approving of this, however, when Henrietta is the recipient of this behaviour, but there are also points where she appreciates the MC's candor (if she chooses to show it) such as if the MC refers to the art of the fan as "ridiculous". If there is one thing that consistently gets on Dominique's nerves, it is occasions where the MC might speak of herself and her former background negatively, mostly out of annoyance because it shows she hasn't comfortably settled into her role yet, and Dominique needs the MC to do so if Edgewater is to stay within in the family and bloodline.

• Also I love the subtle streak of independence we get to see in Annabelle. She is someone who is doing what is expected of her, someone who tries to make the best of her circumstances the only way she knows how, but she is also refreshingly open about how stressful it is for her to go down this path, even in her free scenes. She is also playful and mischievous and doesn't take herself too seriously, which makes a lot of her scenes a joy to do.

• I also really really liked the option where you tell her she's the one you want to marry, and her reaction is both a disbelief that such a dream could come true alongside a receptiveness to the idea. It's soft and sweet and beautiful.

• So we start out with a crash course on the nobility we'll meet in London (Alfred Halloway, whose daughter Felicity is debuting this season, and the Barrymore family, who are related to the Halloways by marriage). Only this time, Annabelle wants to be a snarky little boss and fill the MC in on all the juicy gossip that Lady Grandmother won't give her.

• Lady Grandmother: Alfred Holloway is the viscount of Lochdale. His daughter, Felicity, will be coming from her estate at Bellington Hall to make her debut this season.

Miss Parsons: Alfred Holloway is an arrogant prig who looks like an Easter ham studded with cloves.

(For the record, this is what a clove-studded Easter ham seems to look like:

Holy shit Annabelle you savage af)

Lady Grandmother: Miss Holloway's family is also tied by marriage to the Earl of Barrymore...

Miss Parsons: Oh, avoid the Earl of Barrymore. His bed has more traffic than Drury Lane!

Annabelle here must be referring to the crowd that tends to flock around the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, which was popular as a source of entertainment for its plays and had a seating capacity of 3000 people.

• The free scene with Annabelle is important because it eases us gently into the main themes of her scene later on. The women get to speak about the whole concept of a "marriage market", and straight off the bat Annabelle lets us know how uncomfortable she is with having to go through a wedding to another man.

• She also speaks about what else - besides the fact that Harry was her closest friend - about his death affected her. Having been promised to Harry, Annabelle didn't have to go through the rigamarole of finding a husband. She had learned to settle with the idea of being married to someone who she knew and liked at least, if not loved. It's sad to us modern readers now that Annabelle would have to settle for less than passion or love, but back then I don't think she could have imagined a better deal. And now...and now she will have to settle for even less than what she had with Harry. This was a pretty neat way of easing us into the larger conversation she has with us in her diamond scene.

• A few days pass, and Briar is now helping us get ready for the trip to London. You have the option of encouraging her romance with Mr Woods, which...cmon. They cute 😊

•

Ooh so our House Colours are navy blue and gold! (considering that the Earl's default outfit itself is navy blue, I should have figured that would be a house colour). It's nice but MY NECK WHERE IS MY NECK.

Did You Know: that up until the middle of the 19th century, men's and women's riding habits were largely made by men in a distinctively masculine style. This is what Candice Hern's article "Regency Habits, Overview" on her website Regency World, says:

"Though the style and cut of riding habits changed with time and fashion, they continued to be tailored in a masculine style throughout the 17th and 18th centuries and into the early 19th century. In La Belle Assemblée in 1815, we read that: “Habits have, ever since they were first brought into fashion, been considered as decidedly calculated to give even the most delicate female a masculine appearance, and the wits of our grandmothers’ days were unmercifully severe on the waistcoat, cravat, and man’s hat which were then the indispensible appendages to a habit.”"

•

YOU'RE NOT COMING WTF DAD NO.

• WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'LL DO TO YOU WHILE I'M GONE.

• I'm having a sinking feeling about leaving my old dad around in this house while Henrietta is still there, Grandma had better be his bodyguard (or maybe not. Cordonians seem to have weird ideas of what constitutes a successful bodyguard *COUGHCOUGH Mara and Bastien COUGHCOUGH*).

• Like most of the fandom I have a feeling the Earl will die sooner than we think. @i-dream-so-i-write once mentioned that it could well be towards the end of the book, and I think that's a fitting dramatic turn this book would take into the next. I'm going to miss the hell outta this guy though 😟

• Henrietta sent Mr Marlcaster and Miss Sutton ahead of time so they can screw things up for us, so we will need to butter them up like no tomorrow when we reach there, apparently.

• Hello Luke! It's been exactly one chapter!

• Kinda like the bonding the MC and Luke have with regards to the horse. Their first real conversation began with Clover, so it is fitting that their bonding continues over her at least for their initial interactions.

• Aww man, Henrietta wants Clover the horse to be sold and they give you a diamond option to keep her, name her and get extra scenes with her. Florence calls her Moonstone, Marianne calls her Pepper. Moonstone suits Florence's particular sense of whimsy, and I figured Marianne would want something short and snappy and it helped that Luke gave the horse some salt before the diamond option came up 😂

It's a fairly nice scene I guess, but it drives me batty because this book is already taking astronomical sums of money early on in the book, and people are already beginning to get frustrated. Even TRR, which is a pretty expensive book, took more than half the book before they pushed forward the option to buy the Derby horse. It just is beginning to feel like too much too soon at this point.

• Of all the free scenes this chapter, my favourite has to be the exchange among the four in the picnic en route London.

I found this particularly interesting because all of these people, so far, have been outside the rigors of the Season in some way or other. Briar is the most outside of this system of doing things: she has grown up completely out of it and will probably always struggle to understand the way things work within the gentry. Luke has spent years in that environment (that of the gentry) so he knows some of it, but he still is and will always be an outsider. Annabelle has grown up in this environment and is perhaps the closest to it, but has never had to take active part due to her association with Harry and the Edgewater Estate. And the MC straddles both these worlds. She is an heiress, part of this high society, but she was born in and more familiar with Briar's worldview. And I love how this scene captures all this in just a few bits of dialogue.

• Also Luke's sensible response to Annabelle's question and Briar being a teasing little imp is super cute, I will fight anyone who disagrees with me on this 😂😂😂

• So many gems nestled in Annabelle's scene guys I can't even. There's so much going on in this one. So much.

•

The main thing this scene does is to - without a doubt - establish Annabelle as a closeted lesbian. She's still at the stage where she's aware and finds it odd that she doesn't hold any affection for any man, that the idea itself of marriage frustrates her, and her growing confusion that she's now feeling for a woman all that she "should" be feeling for a man. There are points where she almost welcomes it, like the scene I mentioned earlier, but she still is clearly struggling.

The MC has three ways of responding to this - one where she misses the point completely and says "you haven't found the right man yet" (Marianne, unfortunately), another where she states that she "understands" (which is left open - either it is a gesture of support from an ally, or it is from someone who understands her dilemma to...well...some extent. Florence is the second. She is bi, so her "I understand" was basically "I've fallen for some men sure but I also have a hard time figuring out what my sexuality is"). My favourite is the response where the MC speaks of facing a similar dilemma in her life and is an excellent choice if your MC is also a lesbian. I couldn't use this one for Florence or Marianne because it didn't ring true for either of them, but I did see the screenshots on tumblr and it's quite poignant.

Did You Know: Lesbian/sapphic relationships and sex were not as much seen as illegal as invisible...and this was an attitude that a later monarch, Queen Victoria, would uphold as well, refusing to sign a legislation to criminalize it by insisting that "women do not do such things". Obviously as we all know, she couldn't be any more wrong. Today we know of famous lesbian women of the Regency as Anne Lister, owner of Shibden Hall, and the Ladies of Llangollen - two women from Ireland named Eleanor Butler and Sarah Ponsonby, who had a romantic relationship for over 50 years. Gail Eastwood, in an article titled "Queer in the Regency: a Slice of Once-Hidden LGBT History" says:

Defying their families, the two established an estate in Wales, called Plas Newydd, rather than enter into marriages with men they did not love. Though they incurred significant debt in order to have a staff, they survived on the generosity of friends until a fascinated Queen Charlotte convinced King George III to grant them a pension.

Plas Newydd became something of a haven for writers during the Regency era, especially since the couple living there could afford to keep it.

Part of me wonders if elements of this story may be found in the Annabelle x MC route. Or like Anne Lister, who was well-endowed enough financially that she could refrain from marriage and have relationships with women. Maybe, or - given the limitations of having to chart out a storyline that will suit every LI - maybe not. Whatever it is, I'd be very interested in finding out how they'll handle the MC's romance with Annabelle.

• The second most interesting thing is Annabelle speaking about her poetry, and the restrictions her father has kept on her talent. She mentions him looking down on women's poetry as being "all bad rhymes and flowery sentiment", and that - in keeping with the times - he prefers Romantic Age poets such as Wordsworth, and that famous influence on Romanticism, Shakespeare. If we choose to ask her about showing us her poetry, she tells us her writing is "of a...delicate nature" (get it, girl! 😀) and if we choose to encourage her instead, the MC makes references to Mary Wollstonecraft, whose ideas of gender equality were considered radical for the times, and who is seen as one of the earliest feminist icons.

Did You Know: that in a time when female education was mainly geared to prepare women for their domestic roles, Mary Wollstonecraft advocated for women to receive an education that would help them survive beyond the home and the marriage market, stating that the one real barrier in the way of gender equality was the disparity in the education women received compared to men. She says, "this homage to women’s attractions has distorted their understanding to such an extent that almost all the civilized women of the present century are anxious only to inspire love, when they ought to have the nobler aim of getting respect for their abilities and virtues".

Her daughter, Mary Shelley, would write the famous novel Frankenstein in 1818, two years following the events of Desire and Decorum.

• Within this scene also lies a little tidbit that will hold some importance in Chapter 7: the MC tells Annabelle that her mother used to sing in the opera:

So this could be the root of some of the snarky remarks Henrietta makes about the MC's mother. She has close pretty darn close to calling her a "prostitute" on more than one occasion, and her comment after the MC sang along with Annabelle in chapter 3 about how it was "no wonder" that the MC could sing, given her mother's profession.

Did You Know: Opera singers had a very different reputation in the Regency era, not all of it very positive. Shana Galen, who is described as a Regency adventure author, speaks about how opera singers were viewed at the time: Of course, it was perfectly acceptable for a young lady to show her talents on the pianoforte or to sing in front of a small group of family and friends, but performing on the stage at Drury Lane or Covent Garden were frowned upon.

Female performers, especially, were shunned by society. One example of this sort of attitude was seen in the ridicule faced by a singer named Dorothea Jordan, who had an long-running affair with a Duke, bore him ten children, and who was the subject of a "satirical cartoon that showed her in her bedroom, gazing adoringly at a duchess’ coronet, which she hopes someday to wear by marrying her lover. A map on the wall purports to show the route from “Strolling Lane” (i.e. prostitution) through “Old Drury Common” all the way to “Derbyshire Peak.” A genealogical chart of the nobility lies on her dressing table, and her bed-hangings are crowned by a Phrygian cap, symbol of the French Revolution. The latter is intended to ridicule her pretensions to nobility; as a common woman, let alone an actress, she should know her place" ("Glimpse at Opera during Jane Austen's Lifetime" by Maggi Andersen, for the blog Historical Hearts).

• Luke's scene on the other hand is lighter in content but is important if you look at it from the viewpoint of establishing his role in the MC's life before they reach London. As a neutral friend, he is happy to serve her and considers her a vast improvement over Countess Henrietta. He tells her that she possesses what Henrietta lacks, understands something that Henrietta would never understand in several lifetimes: that looking down on people she believes as her 'inferiors' will leave her at a disadvantage eventually.

But if you hint at having feelings for Luke, the entire mood of the scene changes, and you see him feeling torn between his growing affections for her and his recognition that any relationship beyond the professional will end badly for them all.

• The thing with both Luke and Annabelle is that to not fall for them is to maintain the status quo. So even if there is an element of attraction, the MC not reciprocating does not tip the delicate balance that governs their lives at Edgewater over. But when she does...it gives rise both to moments of joy...and moments of fear.

• Ooh I love the animation for the train!!

I mean...just...look at this!

• The MC and Briar get to react in awe to their first sight of London before they get down from the carriage. We find out that we're pretty much stranded on the streets of London and no one has come to pick us up. Gee thanks, stepbro.

• Not gonna lie, but seeing Prince Hamid's shocked!face on his full-body shot made me giggle a little.

• He introduces himself as Imperial Prince Hamid, cousin to "his Imperial Majesty Mahmoud the Second, Caliph of Islam, Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, and Custodian of the Two Mosques (the last especially was used in royal titles for many Islamic rulers, and refers to the Al-Haram Mosque (al-Masjid al-Ḥarām) of Mecca, and the Prophet's Mosque (Al-Masjid An-Nabawī) of Medina).

• In a sense he kinda reminds me of Kamilah: he is a fictional character positioned as being related to an actual historical figure, so they will give us plenty of background about the countries they were from (Egypt and Turkey [Istanbul in this case], respectively) but keep the actual historical figure at a distance. Making the fictional character a cousin and a person of an important position in that court is a smart choice to make: they're important enough to represent the royals of the times but distanced enough that it doesn't seem unnatural if they aren't that close and ergo can't tell you personal details about said historical figure.

• Did You Know: Sultan Mahmud II (the cousin Hamid mentions) was seen as quite a progressive ruler of his times. 1829 onwards, he tried to bring many, many reforms into the Ottoman empire, including (according to the Encyclopedia Britannica article on him) "adopting the cabinet system of government, provided for a census and a land survey, and inaugurated a postal service (1834), introducing compulsory primary education, opening a medical school, and sending students to Europe. In addition, the sultan’s right to confiscate the property of deceased officials was abolished, and European dress was introduced". It looks like some elements of this way of thought could be reflected in Hamid, from his talk of diplomacy in his diamond scene.

• Hamid not only positions himself as a bit of an outsider to England but also as a man who travels: talk of travelling and seeing the world is his ice-breaker when they get into the carriage. This will allow him not only to help familiarize the MC with London, and his home Constantinople, but also give her (and us) a view of what the world looks like at this point. For instance, if the MC speaks of even London is unfamiliar territory to her, he mentions the Blue Mosque, the construction of which was completed exactly 200 years prior to the events of the story.

• The other very essential point of this scene is to provide a bit of a parallel to Luke, but also as a counterpoint. Luke is disadvantaged both by his class and his race - ergo he has a very layered perspective. Hamid has privileges, but he is also aware of and in some ways used to the reception he gets in England, and has figured out how he wants to respond. Both Luke and Hamid find their ways to cope with their situation, and the MC is allowed - according to the ethnicity chosen for her - to relate to both.

Florence, for instance, relates heavily to this as someone is visibly a foreigner even though England is the only home she has ever known. Marianne does not fully understand this, but she can tell him like any decent human being would that she thinks it's wrong of people to treat him that way.

• Just prior to this the two manage to see the Tower of London, notorious for the imprisonment and execution of many, many people including royals and nobles. There is a short but rather poignant conversation on the "many people tortured and murdered over who had the right to sit on the throne" (among the people executed, you will find names like Anne Boleyn, Thomas More, Lady Jane Grey, Guy Fawkes and Walter Raliegh).

• Did You Know: For a long long time in England, executions were seen as a bit of a spectator sport. The more unusual the criminal, the bigger the crowd. The Capital Punishment UK blog speaks of the kind of atmosphere usually present around the time:

In many counties, executions were held on market days to enable the largest number of people to see them and school parties would be made to attend as a moral lesson, something which is certainly recorded as happening at Lancaster Castle. Public houses and gin shops always did a very brisk trade on a hanging day.

However, attitudes towards executions experienced a shift around the late 18th-early 19th century, and by 1864 Parliament established a Royal Commission on Capital Punishment, with a declaration that executions would take place inside the prisons rather than in public.

I'm not sure if this was intentional, but possibly the MC's and Hamid's reactions to the tower may be reflective of their times.

• Interestingly, Annabelle is shown to look jealous if you've been romancing her, and giving you a sly grin if you're just friends. I quite liked that little touch. Luke meanwhile is a little less open about how he feels at this point: whether you're romancing him or not, he is described as "watching you carefully" during your exchange with Hamid.

• So Mr Marlcaster got the letter from the Duchess to send a groom for picking the MC, but didn't...as per his mother's demands, surely. But AT LEAST you should have been a little prepared to answer me in case I dropped by anyway, dude? Instead of just standing there and staring at me like a scandalized goldfish.

• Looks like Edmund is still going to try screwing things up for us, and we'll need to find a way to get him on our side. After all, we get relationship points with both him and Theresa Sutton, and Lady Grandmother did tell us we could find a way to get them to be with us rather than against us.

• I'm looking forward to Chapter 5...but it's Chapter 6 I REALLY want to see. We're going to learn a bit more about the MC's mother's background!

General Thoughts:

• OMG so much was there to unpack this chapter!! A lot of it to do with Annabelle and Hamid, and Luke has taken a bit of a backseat this chapter but I'm hoping that's a taster of what's to come in his case.

• Look I love this story but IT COSTS SO MUCH. WTF. Keeping Clover was a nice option but it really added nothing to this chapter and could have easily been shifted elsewhere. I want this book to do well. I'm happy with how they're writing it, the effort they're putting into their research and into their characters so far...and I would hate for it to not be appreciated because they made it so hard for people to get into the book by making it this expensive so early.

• Florence is going for Annabelle and Luke (leaning more towards Annabelle at this point), and Marianne for Hamid and Sinclaire (I'm not sure yet but Hamid is a very very strong contender!!). Who would have thought I'd have my first polyam MCs in a book on Regency Era England!! Who woulda thunk!

• Annabelle particularly intrigues me at this point. She is clearly established as both inside and outside of this system, and vocally critical of it at least to the MC. She writes about her desires against the chargin of her father, and states that she doesn't want to merely settle into a 'safe' relationship like her mother, not unless she can know and trust that person (which is mostly why she agreed to the match with Harry even if she didn't love him). She is confused, and open and honest about her confusion. I really think the foundation of this character is immensely strong, but they really need to keep working on her and not just drop their efforts on her halfway. And I've seen that happen enough times with female LIs to be afraid.

• At this point, we now have three male LIs (one Master of Horse who is African-American, one family-approved eligible bachelor and one prince of the Ottoman Empire) and one female love interest. Is there space for one more confirmed female LI? I sure hope so but at the same time I don't want keep my hopes up.

However...IF the plan is to keep just one female LI, then they'd better do a pretty darn phenomenal job of her. If you're not going to give wlw players other options it's only fair to make sure the only option is given really, really good writing - consistently. They're doing a good job so far...but there's a long long way to go before I can fully trust PB to do justice to her.

• That's it for now! On to Chapter 6!

• Tagged: @boneandfur @liamraines @thespiritpanda @alanakusumastan @ernestsinclairs @private-investigator-nazario @bcdollplace @thedepthsremember @mcbangle @queenodysseia @novaelaras

If you'd like to be tagged on these QTs, do let me know! 😀

#desire and decorum #long post #annabelle x mc #luke x mc #hamid x mc #annabelle parsons #luke harper #imperial prince hamid #dnd quick thoughts #quick thoughts

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