#thoughtsscatteredgrammarbent

[larrydrosalez]

Recent tidbits from the past few months. Drawing on my own experience of working with people in mind before really creating decisions that make sense for me to enjoy and organize myself and the material if possible to address them as simple enough to pass time and most revealing spaces to give attention to details that would define the effort to achieve a more engaging and meaningful conversation with people im not afraid to share with.

[organicsomethings]

Borrowed Hindsight Forcest In lat few distraction to et centering -it can can to paranoing wat as Flas. place i can he doM of with 1 tuik Kine + buith to to cart andiety the results often lead voile the earin passing a time, seat of adapted genera actions and inactions feels minsuNd -cest|sestorntine I Fought hard battler for times MowNect for tempes the war for attentiva, ther hast of relinble gudand nguilt. deteraned is euro cranedyis incessant musand of + laths ethe bods that cast righteor in Mess that time revers + gives б judgement.on complasion cather then undoes I don't remerber exacth where i me with little gonerank of artside as ant- Was, (a hotel soon wilL d. acchitatur 6S- balued-aquarine gine Mainden- WHORE doing) de Foe tied + plamed to lUSH FELANDERER sit the course of dust-dams to includ COWARD a liaile sun-walK sand the nighboh LOVE through gende schel in - Ispered LoVE LOVE ever mOM b a Aquiintanas, part of fan

I scanned a text for the first time and I’m surprised to see the results.

[thoughtsscatteredgrammarbent]

Worn decades of grounds reared as being for outsiders to figure

poeticizing freedom to choose allegiance and honor in the family’s military service to the United States Armed Forces

A needful surrender of offense so far has left a mercy

between a shelter for the defended by grace, and a shadowy sort of friction amongst otherwise peaceful sensitivities reserved for the sake of violences used to justify salvation of souls

[organicsomethings]

Used recycling and packaging to practice painting for a decent part of this past year. I titled the culminated project “made with less,” after the Amazon packaging design revealed more sustainable materials for boxes and very clean paper texture materials to work with in the meantime of processing the mediums that reward my efforts of creativity in measure and style planting towards commercializing a product that I can make ready for production.

Ideally, I’d like art that depicts dedicated effort and respects an individual impressions and thatmy family can understand . I struggle to understand an economic necessity for anything I make and the concept of drawing directly for profit has been gnawing at my awareness of intent and initial impetus to do.

I remember planting this plant from seed, but I barely remember having anything to do to “intend” a melon. I hope for fruit from from these trials and drafts still.

Few people in the world are more likely to be in the same boat as I feel from having made and shown freely crossing the bridge towards obligation towards consistency in arriving at “posted” rather than seeing their own value scaling back to the existing roots in new media.

What to do with attachments that result in coddling, to speaking points, comments, or events that mean much to me and others yet may be confusing to otherwise unexpected viewerships or even to the traditional reader.

Truer, context matters. I generated objects, and then deleted drafts of objects, and edited those files to make them more readable. The process wants journalistic integrity, but by sharing again and adding new content, the overall quality changed dramatically in recent months as wanting impromptu or improvised recordings of what I can do/show and at a value that says, would I be able to reproduce or repeat the task with my own being?

Meanwhile, despite fierce opposition from both voices impressing to “go hard” and guidance from journalists saying be faithful, I’ve uncovered a steady pattern of holding back performance spectacle and expecting to be met at delivering average performance in visual and auditory output.

I knew I should’ve known this before but I’m glad to be thinking of an audience, and to find that you’ve been able to manage a way through these jumbly compositions.

I see life’s offerings as giving complexity to the illusion of separation via death, and I’m looking forth from shame and shyness to admonish grander topics like life and death. So far, I’m looking at my own pages like leaves whose value withers front and back from exposures to weather as well as time and foresight /hindsight.

Trying to catch myself penning a formality in the first place is tough, and I’m compelled to confess I’m saddened by the poetry and prose I have produced.

so far i have been able to share from on instagram -@larryxdarnell and @larrydrosalez as well as facebook without disturbing my concept of death to self. I am seeing the potential for this to bring me to many stings on the road to greater sacrifice for greater return.

[larrydrosalez]

foliage and bones

18x24 inches

acrylic paint on canvas (prints of this piece are available in sizes ranging from 9x12in to 27x36in, starting at $20. message me to order your copy)

i remember celebrating Halloween faithfully by dressing up and going trick-or-treating. after coming to Christ in my early twenties i fell out of recognizing any type of holiday associated with the gregorian calendar and cultural traditions of the United States.

as i mature, i aim to regard each day as a sacred gift.

My grandfather is Mexican and we never celebrated Dia de los Muertos or even talked about it. From what i understand it involves alters, rituals remembering the dead, and a recognition of appointed times in November as a result of a mixing of Spanish, Catholic, and Aztec historical traditions.

I set out to paint a portrait of a basic seated figure and didn’t think I would be making a statement beyond what it would appear to be in posture, audacity to center a nude, nameless figure, and the focus on my own style of depicting figure as an object of pride or pleasure to the eye.

without clothes or environmental context, I did make a point to show a mix of religious imagery (halo, laurel wreath, dry bones, and eyes for example as indicating a contemporary style portrait despite being devoid of flesh and skin)

the same weight of line is used to show the factual and historically accurate placement of parts of bone & to indicate leaves.

stone carvings of ancient times that presented imagery of the human body inspired a use of common form and language found in many images centuries before the rise of the word wide web. ie, an open, seated posture.

stone carving preserved a record of how common it was to inhabit the political, the divine, and the common being in design developed as a way to employ authority in secular & sacred revelry.

i’m very interested in the discussion about how imagery affirms or offends any conviction tied to the human heart for or against participating in particular events or popular practices adjacent to our individual experiences, finding a meaningful ethic. what are celebrations or holidays that move you to celebration? what are those that offend?

operating in choice gives deep seated beliefs an outlet to drive our yes and no when it comes to what we do in regards to faith in god as considering our condition and our eternal life after death.

[organicsomethings]

[larrydrosalez]

10•10

with two new sets of paintings and small agri-sculpture, #telepathy and DODECAHEDRON, im glad to have settled on cardboard with hangers as a style of showing art like clothes racks.

i made a chord progression i like.

l: e+a———-e+a*flat

r:————-c—-d+a natural .

The challenge was to use the doggie ramp box as a frame and pin board. While stretching 5 ounce bottles of paint with aftershave and charcoal mask.

I’ve been both frustrated and enlightened by my lower back pain so finding ways to lounge to Neil and to humbly continue while documenting the process showed some of the futility of choosing ten frames on a chilli, hot scrum, DIY i Usually remember more things that I wanted to do or could do omitted from doing in front of camera breaking suspension of disbelief even while playing the “the artist presence is enough. “

care for an audience is debilitating as, right now, i imagine those who would have a quaint mercy or pity at a slight “aha, i too diligent”

1am-4am, trying to keep my mom calm while reeeeeeeealy exaggerating the scale of 6feet of person, standing, laying, and shuffling between about 3-4 feet of space, fresh out the hospital with #lumbosacral sprain. thank you piedmont. ^_^

Mixed feelings of futility and responsibility as having studied mass communication in the 20th century should I be documented as a historian as a retrospect or us planting seeds for future media bakers.

hope your decided affirmation biases appear, and that all you’ve applied to discipline this year begins to flourish without gritting teeth, easing into the natural reciprocal flow of breath like falling awake to sleep.

love y’all, also asking for how to take more opportunities to share and dialogue.

30$ big-boxes(quick cards, seeds, and whatever’s from the pantry for shipping.

check the archives.

trying to keep up with the times, as nina suggested, of course. anexcerptofhim

-larry



[larrydrosalez]

Working on this graffiti style. Kind of 15 minutes or so and from graphite to acrylic. 3 day process , im enjoying the color.

Wanna make this a part of the set the dec Hidron because it’s inspired by filling packs of 24 pages of canvas as paper and I think this fulfills the practice of zooming out and scaling for easier commercial and commission paintings.

much love y’all. muah what time is it

#dodecahydron

[larrydrosalez]

i’m short on words because in some sense I want the frame in these photos to be absolutely perfect. By frame I mean my frame of mind the frame of objects around in my body and the frame of body that would easily be able to carry the information from lunge to downward dog to invert with a shoulder pop-up, and strengthen another’s practice on hands.

10 seconds triggered a bit of a panic in each frame to rush to the mark and breathing through that happened. with the shallow wince like “am i too late”

on time. just once. and rickety.

sweet potato and chocolate mint marble pudding in the stove and movies to watch.

blessed day y’all 🥱😌😶‍🌫️🌵

[larrydrosalez]

I like relaxed language and I like blackness. This anthology is a celebration of both.

tawk  

Sometimes we’re afraid to talk. Yes, WE. This might be about black talkin, but this here is for you too Sandy-Sue and Jin-Woo.  I know you’ve had those days when somethin forces you to speak or preach or teach something you’d be much better off talkin about. You scour your brain in search of synonyms you learned in an English class (some time ago) or for some phrase you picked up from your favorite politically active musician – all for nada – because, in your scavenger-hunt for eloquence, you end up with 1000 syllables that don’t say anything.  Trust me, I know the feeling. (Deleting those Gs and forgoing those apostrophes a few lines up still has me wary of some impending doom.  O_o)  [imagine the courage it took to include an emoticon.]

    It is this fear of writing the way I feel most comfortable expressing myself that convinced me that this anthology needed to be compiled. It needed to be compiled and needs to be delivered to every writer that thinks their words aren’t good enough and to every reader that thinks some writer’s metaphors are too big and meaning too small. I want this anthology to combat any notion that in poetry white high-language is right language and that slang is to be reserved for Langston Hughes and Maya Angelou. This anthology, black-tawk, is intended to act as an examination of Black-American identity in contemporary poets through their specific use of colloquial vernacular, to be referred to as black-talk. These poems are compiled in order to reject “high language” (white-talk) as the only suitable means of intelligent and normative expression and that slave-talk is the only example of recognizable black expression. I seek to find a contemporary river of black voices that flow somewhere between a Mattie and a Michael Eric Dyson (and certainly above a Tyler Perry.)

     So what does black-talk between a Mattie and a Dyson sound like? It sounds like black people you hear talking every day. There are no meanings lost in abstract metaphor, no need to keep a library assistant on call and there’s the occasional glimpse of slang. Nah, I ain’t only talkin ‘bout that talk you hurd on the corner’a 3rd and Main, because while that’s beautiful, this anthology hopes to reveal subtle currents of vernacular that black poets use to express blackness. Of course there’s more than a heap of uses of slang’s shining star - “ain’t,” but he’s joined by “nuff” and “betcha” and even “cd” (could.) And these are sometimes decorated by the absence of punctuation that lends itself to an exploration of space and caesura to create natural and lulling speech patterns that mimic the way black people talk. You won’t find Queen’s English here. Nothing like what Jamil (Robert Sims) in his poem “pre-sentence Report” (page____) refers to as “…nouns that // old Sigmund couldn’t EVEN spell.” Though in his poem Sims speaks of medical jargon, there are certainly poets that employ a sort of poetic jargon requires too much energy to decipher.

    Not that deciphering is all bad, we wouldn’t want lazy readers, but when simplicity is forgone merely to sound poetic, the authenticity that makes poetry beautiful is lost. Stephanie Pruitt, a young poet from Nashville, could write novels about the process and love involved in getting her hair hot combed in the kitchen – but she doesn’t need to. Her haiku “Hair raising” (page _____) is beautiful in its ability to, concisely, resonate with black girls everywhere. “Hair burning in the kitchen” could easily become “kinky fibers laid straight by heated comb permeates the air in the place meals are made,” but it doesn’t need to. Now the form of haiku is innately simple but this same current of simplicity can be found throughout the anthology in various forms.

 black

Sometimes we’re afraid to be black. Yes WE. This might be about black talkin but if you change black to “chino” or “country” this here is for you too Jose and Billy-Rae. It’s about black talkin because black talkin is what I know best. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been made to feel afraid to express my blackness (or asian-ness or mexican-ness.) If a university environment is any representation of the real world, and I fear it may be more forgiving of race, people don’t want black people to be black. Every scorned sagging pant, every kinky twist pressed to oblivion, every set of braids chopped off for a job where suits and ties are need can serve as a testament that black people aren’t allowed to be black.

Oh, but that’s not true, we have a black president! – right, having one black president negates the pressure every white professor ceo quarterback vice-president student government official city official member of congress  employed contributing member of society member of congress places on black people to act white right.

…

…

I needed space to let that sit. The minority will always be made inferior when evaluated against the majority. Being black isn’t wrong, it’s just not being white. There are thousands of conversations to be had about blackness and black identity and defining what “black” is, but this is not a research paper and I am not an anthropological expert on the matter. So you ask, what does blackness have to do with this poetry anthology, and what does that contribute to life? Well, blackness is in the everyday things that black people do. There is no singular blackness. If you’re a black girl that gets a perm and a silky-smooth 32” Remy, you’re exuding blackness just as much as the sister pickin her afro every morning. If you’re a black boy with clean locks sitting proudly on the shoulder pads of your new Armani suit, you’re exuding blackness just as much as the scruffy brother in the newest Js and a tall-tee (although I personally detest tall-tees, that doesn’t negate the blackness found wearing it.)

Since poetry is a manifestation of expression based on personal experiences, black poets should be allowed to be black poets, right? No. An Essay by Evie Shockley entitled “All of the above: Multiple choice and African American Poetry” included in the introduction to the anthology “Rainbow Darkness,” edited by Keith Tuma, examines the reasons black authors are not allowed to be black authors. In short, he states (and I agree) that black authors (I would say all black artists) are subjected to “the poetics litmus test.” They must be judged based on political allegiances and racial “authenticity” rather than ability or talent. If a poet talks like Langston Hughes, they are authentically black, which is good, but they are a “black” poet not an “American” poet. According to Shockley, in order to receive the privileges “American” poets are afforded:

“An African American poet has had to avoid writing in styles or about subjects that are recognizably “black” in favor of “universal themes” and conventional aesthetics. Or  she could slip in the back door by appearing willing to narrate ‘the black experience’ for white consumption in ways that do not fundamentally deconstruct white (liberal) understandings of race or directly advocate revolutionary social change.”

This provides a perfect explanation concerning why black poets are pressured away from talking black. Even I question whether or not I want to be “that black poet” every time my mind wants to pen a thought about kinky hair, “unique” names, or encounters with racism. Just as the fear of talking convinced me of the necessity of this anthology, the fear of being black doubly convinces me that there are people that need this.

 black-tawk

I like relaxed language and I like blackness and this anthology is a celebration of both. These poets aren’t afraid to be black even when they’re not talking about black things. This collection includes poets just talkin and poets just being black and poets talkin about being black – none afraid to share their identity and the language they speak. Ntozake Shange isn’t afraid to write poems in a manner that is supposed to be talked. Sapphire sees the significance of what Claireece P. Jones has to say, and how she says it. Celes Tisdale saw the need for people to hear what inmates from Attica think. All of these voices have been gathered to fight the fear of being Black regular Mexican Asian poor Jamaican poorly-educated well-educated strange normal smart dumb black-tawking.

black-tawk is right. Don’t be shamed of it. These are your peers.

  my tawk

    And now that I’ve splattered you with my thoughts/rants about blackness and language and wooed you with my semi-intellectual prowess, I’d like to free myself of the black burden – a burden that has weighed heavy on my mind since I started compiling these poems. What is the black burden you ask? For me, it is the false interpretation that any black voice is THE black voice. To those reading in hopes of better understanding the black race based solely on the compilation of a 22-year-old-half-black-half-mexican-and-japanese-middle-class-college-guy I say:  I am not THE black voice. I am not THE black voice. I am not THE black voice.  I, like the poems selected for this anthology, do not represent the entire black race or encompass all Black-American identity. There is no anthology or single person that does. I, and these poems, do however represent a current of thought, a movement, towards talking. Towards tawking. Towards tawking black. black-tawk. Enjoy.

[thoughtsscatteredgrammarbent]

pre-tect:

brujarella clique: Braja-BOT premiere, canada’s

next Bottom Model.

drag reallness, pecs like double c’s. 28 inch waist.

goal weight: 

[organicsomethings]

WIN 20200925 06 53 34 Pro - a poem

[thoughtsscatteredgrammarbent]

i’m making a 3 hr vlog today.

starting with day 5 of

“yoga for calm mind: beginners”

after some songs and renewed

scent of

spring barreling gone

long dark mornings

come fall.

[larrydrosalez]

i’m short on words because in some sense I want the frame in these photos to be absolutely perfect. By frame I mean my frame of mind the frame of objects around in my body and the frame of body that would easily be able to carry the information from lunge to downward dog to invert with a shoulder pop-up, and strengthen another’s practice on hands.

10 seconds triggered a bit of a panic in each frame to rush to the mark and breathing through that happened. with the shallow wince like “am i too late”

on time. just once. and rickety.

sweet potato and chocolate mint marble pudding in the stove and movies to watch.

blessed day y’all 🥱😌😶‍🌫️🌵

[larrydrosalez]

painting, photography, and a strange story about commitment to art “deco.”

i gave/lost a few pieces of art in a fire last week. lost any real interest investing time in visual art if i had also to invest money for the gold-state of things with expensive mountings and live distribution.

i still want super expensive mountings, materials and lifestyle excess prices with drop shipping and karats on karats of jewelry design with bamboo and clay.

Why is this tagged yes #axhDANCEZ?

i don’t know how to work in well timely fashions so i try to fit as much figure-fitness-composition-and-fashion into an iPhone frame as i can and condense the findings on little handmade bits of paper.

hopefully one day big products.

for noteworthiness- i don’t know how to brand my business, organic somethings, because the storefront idea is still pretty new. Mobile doling of the #axhUJIMAgarden has been a playful trip on insta

%informationSINthesis

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cf6tV1olzfL/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=