#tiny humans

[mylittleredgirl]

one of my very favorite kid development stages is Learning Jokes, where they understand the structure of a joke but not the actual humor process involved, and so generate abstract nonsense that is so much funnier than anything else. the “orange you glad i didn’t say banana” era but it’s “porcupine you glad i didn’t say spaghetti” YES i porcupine glad and thank you for asking me 17 times in a row.

[hoodytheowl]

Humans: Babies and Toddlers

I've recently had the 'pleasure' of babysitting my younger cousins and thought, how would aliens react to literal babies and toddlers? Considering how weird humans already are, the fact that these almost invincible beings start off as these tiny things that are incapable of feeding themselves, clothing themselves, communicating (efficiently that is), or even controlling bodily functions. Not to mention, they seem to need to be protected from everything in their infancy and need to be constantly looked after when they reach toddlerhood. Plus the fact that most humans can't even understand their own young and often have trouble dealing with them. Or how easily entertained these very tiny humans can be as well as how quickly they change emotions and need constant stimulation to stay engaged and learn basic motor skills. Aliens would go crazy trying to understand the marvel that is a baby or a toddler.

Just imagine the interaction: Alien: Human Cassandra, tiny human Alice won't stop screaming. Cassandra: *Looks over at Alice, who is sitting on a playmat and wailing, and sighs.* I know what she wants. *The alien watches in confusion as Cassandra grabs a cooking utensil known as a 'spatula' and hands it to Alice, who promptly calms down and starts biting on the spatula.* Alien: Why is tiny human Alice eating the cooking instrument? Cassandra: She's teething, so her gums are a little sore and she constantly needs something to chew on. Alien: What is this teething? *After explaining the concept of teething to the now horrified alien.* Alien: So you just... grow teeth?! Cassandra: Mhm, I usually have a teether for Alice but I might have forgotten to bring it with me... Alien: *More baffled then ever and with a new understanding that humans just got weirder.*

Alien: Human Cassandra, why is human Travis making those noises while covering and uncovering his face in front of tiny human Alice? Cassandra: Hmm? Oh, yeah... we couldn't get her to calm down so he's just playing peek-a-boo with her... Alien: Peek-a-boo? Cassandra: Yeah, babies go crazy for that game. Alien: Doesn't tiny human Alice know that human Travis is simply hiding his face? What's so amusing? Cassandra: *Laughs* Babies don't understand that the person is still there, for them it's an 'out of sight, out of mind' situation. Alien: Oh... Feel free to add on.

[stubz]

I might've started a legend among the preschoolers that you can enter a banana world by arranging 6 bananas into a ring, step into said ring after midnight and say bananas 3 times. There you will be in a world where the bananas are the people and the people are the banana. because talking bananas was the prompt given for storytime.

that was yesterday and tomorrow I go to work. Let's see if their goldfish memories struck again or if they have the memory of an elephant.

[recalcitrantlycaffeinated]

I let my four year old stay up too late tonight. As we were getting ready for bed, she looked at my Baby Yoda pajama pants, and said in a monotone voice with completely dead zombie eyes, "Toy Yoda. Let's go places."

[darkandstormydolls]

Something about holding a little kid’s hand… when they’re so tiny that they can’t really hold yours so they just wrap their hand around one of your fingers…

[soapcan18]

I wanna be a tiny little human so bad I wanna be cupped in the hands of a giant benevolent lady and fed little crumbs and given a cute little house to live in and sit in her shirt pocket and explore the big wide world and be protected by scary monsters like mice that are so huge in my tiny little eyes please please let me have this

[idontwasteink]

I saw a kid at the grocery store who looked like little Conan Gray and I nearly cried

[esmesmesme]

Babies grow up insanely quickly but it feels super slow. I think that's because every hour is like 50 steps forward, 49 steps back

[leahm2000]

Things I learned as a teacher on the first day of school -year 4 edition

1) there is nothing that a little glitter water can’t fix (a spray bottle filled with water with a pinch of fine glitter)

2) Rice cakes are not called rice cakes they are popcorn pancakes. I will forever refer to them as such

3) tiny humans (4-5years old) ask a lot of random questions. I thought I knew this one and was preferred for what I figured would be the slew of questions (when can I go home, where’s my tablet, why…) but instead I got things similar to this. “Miss who would make a better pet? You or Mr don?” And “why do the leaves have to die every year? Do we have to too?” Like ummm what?

3) my class seemed to unanimously decide that we don’t like the following popular shows and therefore will throw a fit if it comes on during dance party transitions

- SpongeBob

- Dora

- PJ masks (despite several clothing articles and water-bottles featuring this nocturnal crime fighting trio)

- The ‘Old’ Disney songs. When asked to clarify I got “not the cartoons miss L those are so old. We like the ones with the real people.”

4) Nap-trapped is my favorite place to be… I would love to know what they are dreaming about though

5) finally the amount of pure joy and happiness that these kiddos bring into my classroom each day is unmatched and I am the luckiest human alive to experience it everyday.

[sordidgoddess]

Our local grocery store was recently completely remodeled, so we're still figuring out where things are.

Me: "If you see honey, let me know."

25 year old: "Got it. See honey, make noise."

Me, rolling my eyes and laughing: "Yes. Honk if you see honey."

A mom with several small children chuckled at us as she walked past - a very common occurrence when 25yo is with me.

A few aisles later, I heard a strange noise... One of the little children we'd passed earlier was honking like a goose and pointing excitedly at the honey! We had a good laugh and I left feeling a little less hopeless about humanity.

[confusedkeyssys]

Guys, especially *cough cough* parents *cough*, please don't this this. It actually hurts. Do not do this to the (possibly) tiny, (definitely) sentient beings you're talking to thanks

[generalgemini-booknerd]

I mean, we’ve all gotta start somewhere…

[crow-caller]

as a child there's nothing cooler than a kid who gets subjected to evil experiments and gains special abilities. it's even cooler if these abilities also cause unfathomable suffering to use/against others. children love stories like this.

[skeletons-can-draw-too]

I find it funny imagining that you finally get to be intimate with a transformer only for them to pull out a usb cable 😭

[sppsdlismartgrl]

/end ID

This is probably my favorite image of all time I first saw it years ago and it has stuck in my head since then. The only vibes I’ll ever need

[not-cassiel]

Little humans are confusing. Apart from the fact that they are very loud and have an unusual sense of humor. They are easily impressed and at the same time so hard to impress.

But I like their untouched view of things.

Always the question of „Are you a boy or a girl?“ and the awe-inspired look in their faces when you say „Neither“. It gets me every time.

~ Cass 🐝