#tiny vegeta needs to be trained

[saiyanmazen]

Another three years

"You're going into the Hyperbolic Time Chamber again?" Bulma screeched across the breakfast table. Her eyes widened in anger and Vegeta could see the tiny creases at the outer corners of her eyes; he found them oddly adorable, although he'd learned not to mention them to her.

"Why do you care? It's not like you feel a fraction of the amount of time I spend there." He crossed his arms for good measure.

"First of all, don't act stupid. You know very well it's one fraction of 364," she said, reminding him why he should never use mathematical idioms around her. "Second of all, I find it very suspicious that you'd rather spend a year in there with Goku than a day with your beautiful wife."

She was right. Given the choice, he would definitely choose her. He wouldn't give up a whole year without training for her, but he was confident enough to trust that a day or three without training wouldn't make him fall behind.

But it was important for him to go into the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, with or without the clown. He just couldn't tell her why.

"It's three years again," he simply replied instead of addressing her real concern. It wasn't that he was looking forward to spending so long away from her, but he knew he would regret it in the future if he didn't.

She looked hurt for a second before hiding it behind a furious scowl. "At this rate, you might as well divorce me and marry Goku since you prefer to spe-"

He was next to her in half a second, cradling her face and interrupting her with a slow, loving kiss. She resisted at first, unwilling to accept his silent apology, but after a few moments she relented.

When they parted to catch their breaths, he leaned his forehead against hers, inhaling deeply to memorize her scent. He would miss these quiet moments most of all during his absence.

"No talk of divorce," he said steadfastly, "I won't hear it. I'm going in there to train, but I'll always return to you. I'm doing this for you."

She nodded, reluctantly understanding. He knew she believed that he was talking about getting stronger to protect her and their family, but it wasn't his main reason. Truthfully, he was as strong as he could get from physical exercise alone. Different methods were needed.

The real reason he continued to go into the chamber was because of her specifically. Despite the many similarities of their races, Saiyans differed from humans in a large manner of ways. What he was the most concerned with was their differing lifespans.

A normal human lived to be 80-100 years, depending on health and sometimes sheer luck. But Saiyans' life expectancy was at the bare minimum 100 years old. From then on, his body might start to slowly deteriorate, but it could take decades. When death would grow nearer, a true Saiyan would choose to die honorably against an impossible foe instead of wasting away.

At 52 years old - almost a decade older than his wife after he'd spent a combined eight years in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber since he'd learned of its existence - he still had many years left before he would begin to show signs of aging.

However, Bulma didn't have quite as long. She was, in spite of her best efforts, already showing signs of aging. He didn't mind it because she was still as beautiful to him as the day he married her; if not more. But he was scared of the short span of her life.

Maybe he'd get lucky and die before her demise, but he couldn't count on it.

He just knew with certainty that he did not want to live without his Bulma in this world.

[gripefroot]

Crooked Ways [14/22]

Training had lost its appeal. 

Perhaps the novelty of the gravity sensors had worn off; perhaps he’d outmatched the robots one too many times. Regardless, halfway through a training session Vegeta punched the stop button on the console, his ears muffled by the sudden silence as the machinery shut down. Once silent, the churning emotion inside of him took precedence. With a grunt he sank onto the floor by the center console, folding his arms and closing his eyes. 

It was a technique that had gotten him through awful moments before. Though what the awfulness was in this case, he couldn’t be sure. He’d seen no death for months; killed none. The lack of real fighting had worn on him, that was true, but Vegeta had brought himself to the physical brink of training enough to offset his violent urges. Or so he believed. 

Stretching out his legs, he inhaled deeply through his nose, and exhaled it more slowly. And again. And again. And again. The sweat on his body dried to a prickle, making him itch. He didn’t move. Outside the pod the chatter of the groundskeepers drifted by and faded. Helicopters came and went, as was normal for the compound. Someone whistled. A dog barked. 

The door opened. 

Vegeta didn’t need to open his eyes to know it was Bulma. Every cell of his skin flared, heightened awareness to the perfume she’d been wearing all week and the familiar traipse of her footfalls before it stopped right in front of him. 

Several moments passed before he sensed her crouching beside him. Then a soft kiss alighted his cheek, then the other, then her soft palm cupping his jaw while she positively rained kisses over his face. 

“What’s this?” he grunted, unwilling to show how much he liked it. 

“You know,” Bulma said between kisses. “When most people meditate they look like they’re about to fall asleep. You look about one second away from exploding.”

Vegeta grunted again, the tension disappearing from his muscles. Finally he unraveled, reaching out to hold Bulma by the hips as she crawled over his lap with a smile. This dress wasn’t as revealing as the one he’d loved earlier in the week, but it still gave him a perfect feel of her shapely rear. 

“Oh, Vegeta,” she sighed, lips pressed to his hairline. “My sullen Saiyan prince.” 

A shiver raked up his spine with claw-like violence. He couldn’t breathe, not until he squeezed his eyes shut and forced his body to start working again. 

“Since when do you possess me?” he asked hoarsely.

“Since you melted when I kissed you,” Bulma said. She wouldn’t know, then, what the possessive meant to him. What it meant to all Saiyans. Speaking his next words took the courage that killing a foe never had, and Vegeta’s gut twisted and turned before he managed, 

“All endearments in the native Saiyan tongue are preceded by my,” he told her. The stroke of her fingertips along his cheek wanted to pull him under his spell, but he had to say it. “Because it’s…strong. Dominating. V-victorious.” He swallowed with a tiny groan, her lips on his jaw. Gripping her hips more tightly, he panted out a breath in little puffs. At least with her on all fours straddling his lap, she wouldn’t feel his erection. 

“That’s cute,” she murmured. “It’s the same here. Sometimes, at least.”

Vegeta didn’t say that in matters of courtship, claiming one as one’s own was akin to a betrothal. Bulma wouldn’t know she’d just proposed marriage to the Prince of all Saiyans, and the prospect of telling her her gaffe terrified him. 

It didn’t mean the same to her. It wouldn’t mean the same in her native tongue rather than in the Saiyan language. 

But the tug in his chest told him that his excuses were paltry. He was hers, in a way he’d been no one else’s, and he was undone by a single word. 

“How - how were the meetings today?” he choked out. 

Bulma’s fluttering kisses ceased. Slowly she pulled away, head tilted curiously to the side to regard him. “You’ve never asked that before,” she said. “What’s going on?” 

“N-nothing.” 

“I can see right through you, you know. Spill it.” 

Vegeta couldn’t say it. Couldn’t say anything of the hurricane ravaging him deep inside, couldn’t say anything of what closed its fingers over his throat and held him under. So instead he touched the ends of her bright hair, twisting the strands around his fingers. Her hair was delicate and fine next to his skin; scarred and mottled and calloused. 

“You’re my woman,” he said at last, barely above a murmur. “I won’t be possessed unless I possess in turn.” 

Bulma’s laugh was sweet, inches from his ear. “Of course you won’t. The meetings were fine, by the way. I’m just glad today was the last day. Next week is the annual audit but Dad promised he’d go so I wouldn’t have to.” 

“So you’ll be around to bother me more?”

She smiled ear to ear. “Yes. I hope you’re ready.” 

“I anticipate my new battle suit.”

Her smile tightened, eyes rolling slightly. “Blah, blah, blah. Will your demands never stop?”

“No,” Vegeta said, an arm curling around her back to tug her into his arms. “Never.” He ate up her giggles in a series of open-mouthed kisses, savoring each noise as a delicacy he’d never been allowed to feast on so freely. 

“We could go eat dinner,” Bulma suggested a while later, when her hand was splayed on his chest and he was contemplating how much her slap would hurt if he tried to test the weight of her breasts in his hands. 

“We could.” 

“Aren’t you hungry? You trained all day, didn’t you?”

“Not all day,” he said. Then, “I’m not particularly hungry for food.”

Disappointment made a pout of her kiss-swollen lips. “More training?” 

“No.” 

“A movie?”

Movies meant kissing. If he spent more time kissing her, he really would explode. And it wouldn’t be dignified, befitting a prince. 

“Well, I’m hungry,” Bulma said with a toss of her hair. “I’m going to eat. Stay here and pout if you’d like, but I’m going.” She crawled off her lap with questionable dignity, tugging down her skirt to cover her legs. 

“You could ask me to come with you,” Vegeta pointed out, put-out that he was left alone on the ground with only an erection for company. 

“Far be it from me to make such a demand on a prince’s time.” But she was smiling over her shoulder, bending over to scoop up her discarded shoes. “Come on, Vegeta. Let’s eat.”

~

Vegeta watched the streaks of moonlight coming through the blinds of his window move across the ceiling, the pace annoyingly slow. On some planets, moons and stars positively danced their way over the horizon. More than once he’d been kept awake on patrol or after a battle, mesmerized by the heavenly bodies. Earth had no such perks. Of course. 

Fingers laced behind his head, and still in his training clothes, he hadn’t been able to shed his internal disquiet making itself so known in his actions. Or lack of actions, rather. He hadn’t eaten his usual feast, and uncharacteristically been enthralled by a television show about lizards. Bulma had fallen asleep a few minutes in, using his thigh as a pillow. A few weeks earlier he would have pushed her off, but he found that he no longer had the heart for it, and his leg had gone numb before the credits rolled. 

She was more fatigued by the conference than she had admitted. Vegeta snorted at the thought - the woman had enough pride to be a true Saiyan, even if she didn’t have the power for it. 

This restless, (though he hadn’t moved a muscle since laying down) he should have gone to the training pod to exhaust himself until he had no choice but to pass out. 

He was getting soft. 

A barely-audible scratch at the door filled his ears. Then the knob turned. 

Vegeta hoisted himself to an elbow, watching Bulma’s dark form move closer, almost silently. She wore her pajamas that didn’t deserve to be called such, her curls flattened, possibly by tossing and turning. 

“Why are you here?” he asked roughly. The light years in difference between her bandaging him or him bringing her a meal in bed and this, whatever it was, didn’t escape him, stupid as he felt by the sight of her bare feet nervously digging into the carpet. 

“Vegeta,” she said, then stopped. After a deep breath her tongue darted out to wet her lips. “You’re supposed to be good at sex, aren’t you?”

Oh, hell. He knew that was going to come back to haunt him.

“Saiyans are known for it, yes,” he said.

“Well,” Bulma said. She took another step closer, now a streak of blue from head to toe in the moonlight. “Show me.”

What little brainpower he possessed when she stood in front of him, let alone in this state, fizzled out. “Huh?” was all he managed. 

“Please,” she added. Her posture was so nervous that Vegeta almost started fidgeting himself. She shifted her weight foot to foot, she fingered the hem of her top, her lips pursed side to side. “If you don’t want to, just say so!” Bulma blurted. 

“No! I mean - I do, it’s just that…” 

I never had the chance to learn such a pillar of my cultural heritage. But on the other hand…how often had Vegeta been handed such a glorious opportunity? If this didn’t recalibrate his mind, didn’t put him back on track of training, he may as well give up fighting entirely. He reached out a hand to her, well out of her reach, but with a puff of relief she launched herself onto the bed and into his arms. 

Just what I need, he decided when their clumsy lips found each other in the dark. I’ll satiate my urges and get back to training in the morning. 

Vegeta attempted to recall, somewhat belatedly, all the information on Earth women and how they experienced sex that he’d digested. It was gone. Completely gone. 

But that was just as well. In the moonlight with only him and Bulma and her body sending him signal after signal, his body responded to each one in perfect turn. His fingers crawled up her front, noticing the way her stomach tensed and twitched along his path. Good. She was responsive. That boded well. With a fingertip on the top button of her top, Vegeta drew in a shuddering breath before popping it through the hole. For a brief moment his forehead rested on hers, the sensation of standing on a cliff overlooking an endless, depthless sea tremored through him with licks of fear hot on his tail. 

How could he do this? How could he admit - how could he let her see - how could this - 

“Hey.”

Gentle hands cradled his face, tilting it until they faced each other. Just like he preferred, her hair spilled over the pillows, a crooked, rueful smile decorating her lips. 

“If you don’t - ” she began. 

“I do! I want this!” 

“Sheesh! No need to yell, I’m right here.” Bulma never stopped smiling, raking her fingers through his hair until he groaned like a damn animal. How did she do this to him? “Why don’t,” she suggested in a soft voice, “you kiss me.” 

“I’ll kiss you all night,” Vegeta said, hating the crack in his voice. “I’ll-I’ll never stop, I swear it.” 

“You’ll have to stop at some point,” she teased. 

“No! Do not tell me what to do!” 

He plundered a kiss worth a thousand demands, a million orders. He drank her up with his mouth until he’d fumbled through the rest of her buttons, rutting against her all the while. All his years of vapid self-control, of blustering aloofness, and cruel disdain, he was made a wretch of a coward at the first touch of a woman. 

No. No. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t shame his ancestors in such a way. He’d do it and he’d do it well, and if Bulma walked away unsatisfied he’d simply train until he could emerge victorious. 

Vegeta dragged in a breath from between her lips, taking her moan with him. Into her shorts his fingers crept downward, noting the way her thighs trembled. His mouth found her neck, suckling gently until she gasped and squirmed and he realized his fingers were wet. 

He was already victorious. 

“Shh,” he growled in her ear. “You cannot wake up anyone else in the compound, no matter how much you want to scream. Do you understand?”

“Why?” she retorted breathlessly. “You don’t want a line of curious gawkers wanting their turn with your magical alien lovemaking skills?” 

“I will make love to no one but you.” He caught her earlobe between his teeth. “You’re my woman. Do you understand?”

“Y…yes.” Her sigh raised the hairs on the back of his neck. 

No matter what happened, he must not let himself fall into his own pleasure. Lose himself in the act. Bulma had asked that he demonstrate a skill, and so he would. He couldn’t let himself drown in her. 

Then again, Vegeta liked a dash of danger. 

[gerudospiriit]

[Two TotK thoughts this morning:

Back again with my "I wish we got to see more with Ganondorf and just...giving him a story other than DBZA Vegeta VC 'I'm fucking evil!'" and Vergil from DMC vc "MOAR POWER!" bs: This Ganondorf should have the same/similar beef with Zelda as he does with Rauru. Again, I know we don't get to see squat really about any in depth feelings about any of them other than you're a god wasting your power BUT Zelda basically did the same thing as Rauru. She came to that era and, while yes Sonia and Rauru welcomed her and allowed it, she fully accepted going along with their dominion of the land that...sorry, not sorry, I don't think was all as squeaky clean as people think. The Gerudo fighting to maintain their sovereignty and the suggestion that Rauru tried to convince them to just join in with his reign makes that pretty obvious I think. Yes, Ganondorf obviously wanted the Secret Stones but that Molduga attack is when he mentions them (which is still weird to me that he does so by name) and notices their power. So that actually came AFTER that what I assume was a last ditch effort to be like "nah fam we're good." POINT IS: seeing this tiny Hylian show up out of nowhere and being buddy buddy with the god?king that wants to take over his territory would and should be infuriating.

Related but less of me lamenting specifics in what TotK lacked story wise and shifting to gameplay. Probably coming from the Paper Mario brain rot, but it really was a missed opportunity to not do kind of like the first two of those games did and let us play as Zelda in the ancient era between the big story beats OR even as the tears instead of just watching cutscenes. They don't need to make it a big open world thing, either, but just a controlled point A to B and C sort of thing with a little bit of exploration allowed (training with her abilities would have been something cool to do, for example). With that, they could REALLY dig more into the new aspects they introduced and just did the bare minimum with. PLUS we would get to play with Zelda like a big chunk of the fandom hoped for.]

[roy-dcm2]

Make the DBZ Movies Canon

I've said it before - I love shonen movies because they're just MORE. More time with the characters we love with a bigger animation budget (most of the time).

Again, imagine being the kid that LOVES Goku in 1997, and you want to see him go all out. Goku only uses SSJ3 twice in the anime, but he uses it 2 more times in the movies. You get 100% more SSJ3 with the movies. (Gear 4th Luffy is in a similar situation)

Also, imagine if fighting was like sex for sayans. How many GOOD fights did Goku have in his adult life? Piccolo, Vegeta, Freezer... maybe Majin Buu? Then it's nothing until Broli, I think.

(What about Cell, or Ginyu or Raditz - If sex ended with you bleeding on the floor, you wouldn't call that a good experience. lol)

But add in the movies and you could count - Jenemba, Android 13, Cooler, Slug... maybe Turles. (Not to mention OG Broly) Plus, all the other ones that were victories for the other characters like Garlik Jr, Bojack, or... Broly. Come to think of it, they were mostly there to make Gohan (or Goten) look good.

(It's almost like they're subs for Goku, when Goku's not around.)

So, here's my ideas on what you could do with the movie villains to add them to the canon in some capacity. Some would be big changes, and other tiny changes.

One big change up would be starting with Dr. Wheelo. Make him the LAST Dragonball villain. The set up is that he wants to be the World's Strongest. He should try to clash with Goku and his friends like 1 year after Goku became tournament champion. Because he's completely out of his debts as a DBZ villain, but he's just tough enough to give Goku + Tien, Yamcha, & Krillin a challenge. And Toei could just RETCON him in say that it happened. (Maybe make a TV special to show it.)

Next guy you gotta keep is Obviously Garlic Junior. He would make a great re-occuring villain for Gohan. Obviously, Dead Zone slots in pretty much unchanged into the anime right now. It's just a matter of who-meets-who when with Gohan/ Krillin/ Kami. I'd LOVE to see GJ capture Videl, or Pan, and he embues them with evil Energy and Gohan has to fight them but also save them.

Turles would require a major overhaul. The concept of the Tree of Might is AWESOME, but the fact that he's a random doppelganger of Goku REALLY stands out. Maybe we could change him to look like Raditz, and what I would do with him is I would actually put him in Universe 7.

This would be a NEW movie where Turles is attacking planet Salad. He hates that the Sayans are good guys in Universe 7, and so he's gonna use the Tree of Might destroy the planet, kill the vast majority of Saiyans, and he's gonna eat the fruit of might to power up. And... what if since he's ESSENTIALLY absorbing a bunch of different Ki, he triggers the Super Sayan God transformation in himself. Of course, it means Kale, Califla, Cabba, and like Goten / Trunks have to save the day.

Here's another great one. Lord Slug. I think they need to give him the Broly treatment. He needs a canon movie in Super. And he's def gonna be an interesting threat because now he can also borrow the new "orange" transformation. And this time, Goku needs Ultra Instinct to take him down.

They could also make him like an Evil Wizard. He's not just terraforming the Earth, now he wants to open up Earth's demon realm to unleash chaos because he feeds off of demon energy. That would also be an excuse to sideline Vegeta.

Meanwhile, Cooler only needs to be reconned into those two years where they were training to fight the Androids.

And then Metal Cooler can return after Majin Buu. In this new version, both Goku and Vegeta can go SSJ2, and Goku can say SSJ3 just burns too much ki.

A weird one would be Super Android 13. I think he works as a Terminator homage. (Like 3 robots just show up at a mall wanting to kill Goku) But there's NO WAY to make him work. There's no space where we can keep Goku, Vegeta, Trunks around. So i'd place him somewhere else...

The only place where he would make sense is in "The Great Saiyaman" Saga. Ya know, after the timeskip, but before the Buu Saga starts. So, it would be Teen Gohan, Goten, and Trunks (and Vegeta / Piccolo) taking him on. With Gohan going SSJ2 for the win.

(That would be great since Broly 2 is definitely on a dead timeline.)

Obviously, Bojack slots in almost completely unchanged. This is after Cell is dead. There's nothing stopping Toriyama/ Toyotaro/ Toei from saying it happened. Another WIN for Gohan.

BTW, they could also redo "Bio-Broly" and instead of being a clone of Broly, it could be a clone of Bojack. (Bio-Bojack)

Jenemba is a weird one. A big draw of the movie is seeing Goku and Vegeta have to do the Fusion. That means we'd have to add him to what is now the end of the "timeline" after the canon Broly (/SH) movie. This does mean that neither Goku or Vegeta are dead, but that doesn't matter much.

They could start off by letting the dead warriors like Pikkon and Olibu fight. (Or maybe a team of villains taking on Jenemba for time off their sentence or reincarnation, like Cell or Bojack.)

Then Jenemba reaches his final form and the path to the living world opens up, and we get the chance for Gogeta to win the day.

Finally, there's Hirudegarn. Again, he slots in without a problem after Majin Buu.

But really finally, there's one more antagonist that needs to be added to the official Canon and that is "Baby." What makes him great is the body-snatcher/ body horror aspect. He's a synthetic alien parasite.

They could change him up a little bit. So that he's not made by the Truffles, and instead he's made by the Cerealians. He was a bioweapon they weren't able to implement before they were wiped out.

It's main plan is to destroy Freezer and his empire. So, Baby starts in space until someone like Jacco accidentally takes it to Earth. It be best to make it TWO movies. One where Baby takes over, and then a last desperate band that has to take on Baby Vegeta with Ultra Ego.

[sentinelpri]

Yukon (NSFW)

It’s half past one in the morning when Gohan pulls up to Piccolo’s humble abode in the shitty white pick up that the Namekian always rolls his eyes at. They can both fly, so he isn’t sure why the half-Saiyan insists on using a human vehicle, but he never questions it out loud.

Perhaps it’s one of Gohan’s many attempts to escape his capabilities and fit in with the other humans, or perhaps it’s a more convenient choice that Piccolo simply can’t wrap his head around. Piccolo is just thankful that Bulma thought to install a driveway for the tiny capsule house that she insisted on giving him to put in the middle of the forest by Goku’s home after the defeat of Cell. 

Piccolo has been antsy for the last half hour or so. He woke up to the feeling of Gohan’s intense ki heading his way and decided to wait by the window of his dining room. He doesn’t need to sleep, anyway, but without Gohan to train with and without any big space emperors or scary androids or pink blob monsters to defeat, the days go by too slowly for his liking. So, he sleeps through them.

As the Namekian sits at the window with a cup of hot tea and stares into the vast forest, a sigh falls from in between his lips. He knows that when Gohan comes to the door, he’s going to have to go out there and spar with him- not that it’s a bad thing, but it’s freezing cold and snow is falling from the clouds above them to cover the lush grass and trees in a thin blanket of white. It’s going to be a stark contrast to the mug of tea in his hands and the warm, cozy bed he was in less than an hour ago.

Yet, he finds that he’s excited about seeing his former protege, because when is he not? Even though he tries to hide it, he can hear Nail in the back of his mind, teasing him about just how fast he gets up from his spot at the table to answer the door. 

The door opens with a light swoosh from the wind outside. In front of Piccolo stands Gohan, who’s dressed head to toe in a beige winter set with a dark brown coat, a big beanie, earmuffs, and a matching scarf. Gohan’s square, silver-rimmed glasses compliment the little pieces of raven hair that peek out of the beanie’s hems as well as his big onyx eyes and rosily flushed skin.

“Piccolo-”

“Gohan-”

They both try to speak at the same time, only to stop. Awkward silence ensues.

Piccolo’s heart races.

‘Your feelings for him aren’t the same anymore. Something’s different. What’s going on with you? Your heart is racing.’

‘Shut up, Nail.’

Oh, how time changes things. 

“Do you wanna spar?” Gohan finally asks while scratching the back of his neck and averting his gaze.

“Sure.”

Piccolo steps outside into the bitter cold and follows Gohan out into the forest. The snow continues to fall, hard and fast, blown into their eyes by the billowing wind. They make it to a rather heavily forested area that offers them some protection from the harsh climate, and yet, Gohan still seems bothered by it as they start to dress down.

“Ugh, I can barely see shit,” Gohan complains with a small laugh. He continues to do so as he removes his beanie, glasses, gloves, earmuffs, and scarf. Everything else, as inconvenient as it is to fight in, he leaves on. Piccolo stays mostly dressed as well, only dropping his weighted gear before getting into a comfortable fighting stance. “This snow’s really heavy…”

Piccolo rolls his eyes. 

Gohan transforms in the blink of an eye, a smile on his face as he does. Kempt raven locks shoot straight up and glow platinum blond. That familiar onyx, darker than the night sky, shifts into a shade of seafoam that’s reminiscent of an emerald ocean. The calm pitch of dusk is momentarily interrupted by the flashes of gold and white that ripple from Gohan’s Super Saiyan form. 

Even after all these years, that form of Gohan’s still has Piccolo in awe at its beauty. 

Or maybe it’s just Gohan himself. After all, Piccolo has never gawked at Goku, Vegeta, Trunks, or Goten, nor has he found any of them haunting every dream and waking moment of his. He’s never thought of them as gorgeous golden gods like he has with Gohan. 

Fuck, he should stop. In fact, he should have stopped this years ago, but he hasn’t. 

The Namekian stands still for a moment, and then, Gohan is darting forward. 

Following a half hour of sparring, Piccolo and Gohan find themselves laying on the snow-dusted grass and staring up at the sky. Both of them are still much stronger than an average human, but they’re out of shape and out of practice. Ten years ago, they would’ve been able to spar for hours without breaks. Now, neither of them could last even one hour. Piccolo can’t help but laugh at that dim reality as the sound of the waterfall rushing down a few yards away echoes in his ears in perfect sync with Gohan’s breathy chuckles. 

They sit up at the same time. Gohan’s platinum blond locks and seafoam eyes revert back to raven and onyx. Piccolo dares to look Gohan in the eye and gulps when their gazes meet. Onyx burns into charcoal, and Piccolo swears he isn’t functioning right because of it. So, he looks away. 

Gohan rests his head against Piccolo’s shoulder. It’s warm and soft just like the half-Saiyan himself. When Gohan was younger, Piccolo would’ve either shoved him off and bitched about it or subtly moved away. Nowadays, however, he appreciates the gesture and goes as far as to encourage it by wrapping an arm around Gohan’s body and pulling the ravenette into his side.

The snow continues falling, a little lighter now. It starts to die down at the same time that Gohan starts to doze off.

Piccolo thinks back to a conversation he and Goku had a few years ago. They aren’t friends. They’ve never been friends, really- more like forced allies, two people who understood each other but could never agree on much aside from common goals. Brothers in arms, perhaps. Regardless of the odd nature of their relationship, they’ve had conversations as if they were the best of friends, because when you’re a warrior like Goku or an outlier like Piccolo, your choice of people to converse with is limited.

It was a weird conversation, mostly consisting of Goku going on a rare philosophical ramble about what love really means and asking Piccolo for his opinion after expressing that he himself once thought that love was some sort of food. Though the Namekian was tempted not to answer the inquiry at the time, he knew that Goku didn’t have any bad intentions, so he knew there was no harm in doing so. Hence, he told Goku what he thought love was.

And, to him, love is the only thing that motivates people to change. Love is something that makes those who feel it rearrange every little piece of themselves to make room for pieces of the people they love; for their loved ones’ hobbies, goals, wants, and needs. After all, Gohan is the only one Piccolo has ever bothered listening to talk about subjects as boring as quantum physics or advanced trigonometry. Gohan is also the only one that Piccolo would drop everything to spend time with, and the only one that Piccolo tries to make happy.

So, all in all, Gohan is the only one he’s ever really loved. That discussion with Goku so long ago made him realize that, but he’s shoved it all down into the depths of his subconscious in a failed attempt to make it go away.

Years have passed. Gohan is twenty five now. Things have changed and Gohan is living his life as normally as he can, teaching at some nice college, living with Videl in a nice home in a nice area just a couple miles away from his mother, and giving up fighting for nicer things like the rest of his friends and family should have years ago. 

Everything is different. Yet, Piccolo’s feelings for Gohan have remained the same since his former student graduated high school. 

It’s clear that Gohan is fast asleep based on the soft snores that fall from between his rosy lips. Piccolo pulls him down so that he doesn’t strain his neck or back. With a bit of adjusting, Piccolo has the back of Gohan’s head rested comfortably on one of his muscular thighs. He’s careful to lean forward to block Gohan’s face and hair from the remnants of the dying snow that falls upon them. 

Piccolo nips at his bottom lip with his fangs and stares at the half-Saiyan in his lap. Part of him wants to wake Gohan up and part of him wants to just leave him there. The emotions bubbling in his chest are embarrassing and scary. He can hear Kami and Nail piping up like volcanic lava in the back of his subconscious, both of them practically screaming at him about how badly he needs to acknowledge his feelings for Gohan out loud before it’s too late to do so.

‘You know, he’s not a kid anymore,’ Kami muses, to which Piccolo scoffs and silently replies-

‘No, but he was when we met and I’m the only good authority figure he’s ever had. Acting on these feelings would ruin that, and I’d be taking advantage of him.’

‘You guys are less than a decade apart! You haven’t been an ‘authority figure’ since he was a preteen,’ Nail argues with an indignant tone of annoyance.

‘We age differently than both Saiyans and humans. It’s not a fair comparison to make.’

‘Would you like to hear what I think?’ Kami questions, and though Piccolo is tempted to say ‘no’, Kami’s advice tends to be useful enough for him to at least consider it.

‘What is it, Kami?’

‘I think you’re using the whopping- what, four?- year age difference as an excuse to reject Gohan before he can reject you.’

‘He has a point.’

‘And why the hell would I need an excuse to reject him? It’s a valid reason, not that I have a chance anyway. So, why?’

‘Because you’re scared of rejection. You always have been.’

Piccolo blinks at the sensation that comes from those words. His stomach churns. With that, Kami and Nail fade away once more. Piccolo stares down at Gohan again and frowns. There’s nothing for him to do except sit there and stay silent, enjoying the younger man’s presence while he can. In a rare display of affection, Piccolo gently runs his claws through Gohan’s raven locks to get the tangles out while attempting to encapsulate this moment in his mind.

After all, what else is there for Piccolo to do when he has the whole world in his lap?

Rejection. Kami is silent now, but his theory echoes in Piccolo’s mind. More than two decades have passed since he last fought Goku, but naturally, his sins still follow him whenever he tries to go anywhere that isn’t in an empty forest or an isolated ice cap in the middle of the ocean. On the rare occasion that he’s in public, he gets stared at. He sees people look at him with fear in their eyes, and he hears everything they say when they whisper to each other about the fact that he’s a seven foot tall green ‘monster’ with talons and a turban. Here and there, older folks will recognize him from the martial arts tournament where he fought Goku or even mistake him for his father, which never goes well.

It’s embarrassing. Piccolo gave up on world domination when he threw his life away for Gohan in their battle against Nappa and Vegeta so long ago. The dragon balls would have been usable on the half-Saiyan, who was still so little back then, but Piccolo didn’t want him to have to go through that kind of pain; through dying. So, he sacrificed himself without a thought, for his first and only friend. He knew then and there that whatever evil streak he had left in him from his father was long gone. 

Unfortunately, not a lot of people know about everything he’s gone through since he last fought Goku, and humans are a species of people who are driven primarily by fear. Piccolo has fully accepted society’s rejection of him. 

He doesn’t want to hurt people anymore. He doesn’t want to scare them. He just wants to belong with someone. Unfortunately, he doesn’t belong with humans, Saiyans, or even with his own race. He never blended in with any of the Namekians he met after fighting Frieza, otherwise he would’ve gone back with them to New Namek. They’re all soft, peace loving people that have hobbies like gardening and studying medicine and collecting cute nick nacks. The warrior clans take their training even more seriously than Piccolo does, only training to defend themselves should any foreign invaders try to take over New Namek, never for catharsis or for fun. 

The only person who’s ever made him feel like he’s belonged somewhere has been Gohan.  

Gohan is the only one that hasn’t rejected him yet.

Piccolo isn’t sure what he would do if it happened. If Gohan were to reject him, he would finally be alone for the first time since he took the half-Saiyan under his wing. He remembers what it feels like to be alone, too, and he doesn’t want to go back to that- no, he can’t go back to that.

So, Kami is right, Piccolo decides.

He’s terrified that Gohan will reject him and leave him alone. After so many years of being friends, he’s terrified that he’ll lose that. The time since he and Gohan met feels like it’s gone by in a flash, over twenty years condensed into a slideshow of memories that Piccolo thinks of every so often. 

But right now, as he sits in the snowy grass staring down at the half-Saiyan, time feels so ungodly slow- so slow that it’s almost like they haven’t grown apart at all since Gohan left the countryside for college and then for his teaching career. 

Piccolo’s charcoal eyes go low, scanning Gohan’s face.

Then, the reality hits him that Gohan might be gone from him for the rest of their time left on this beautiful yet terrible planet. Piccolo thinks about them and about all of the pieces of his life he’s rearranged over the years to fit certain pieces of Gohan’s in along with it, only for it to all fall apart.

He tries to convince himself that he doesn’t mind. They’re both so much older now, and as much as he misses spending time with the half-Saiyan, he doesn’t miss when they were younger, constantly being thrown into fights they wanted nothing to do with to keep their loved ones safe, the anxiety that came with knowing that he was the only one who would bother keeping Gohan alive aside from Krillin. Now that they’re older, they’re free, and Piccolo knows that’s all Gohan ever needed to be happy.

A harsh gust of wind blows by and snaps Gohan awake in its wake. He sits up in Piccolo’s lap a little too fast with his cheeks even redder than they were before.

“Piccolo…?”

Piccolo tenses up. Was pulling Gohan into his lap to sleep too forward? Maybe he shouldn’t have done it.

“Yes, Gohan?” He replies.

“Oh, God, I didn’t realize I fell asleep on you like that!” The professor suddenly exclaims and sits up straight, pushing himself as far away from his former mentor as possible. He bows his head in an apologetic manner that Piccolo can’t help but find somewhat cute. “I’m so sorry, I-”

“No, you’re fine,” Piccolo insists while holding back a frown. He quickly misses Gohan’s warmth and supplements it by reaching forward to place a reassuring hand on Gohan’s shoulder. Admittedly, it’s not nearly as good as having Gohan peacefully sleeping in his lap. Piccolo manages to make due with it, even pulling back when Gohan looks at him with dilated pupils. Humans’ pupils dilating means they’re scared, doesn’t it? Piccolo is only half-sure about that, but he seems to recall reading it in an anatomy scroll while spending time on Dende’s lookout. He’ll have to look that up on his cellphone later to see if he’s remembering correctly. “You… You can even stay over if you want. I’m sure you’re tired and I’ve heard that operating a vehicle this late can increase your chances of getting into an accident on the road. The guest room is open for you any time.”

“...Okay, sure,” Gohan nods and stands up. Piccolo stands as well. He watches with curious eyes as Gohan pulls out his cellphone. Though Bulma bought the Namekian one a long time ago, he hardly uses it. Gohan and Bulma are the only people who bother trying to contact him anyway regardless of the fact that the rest of the Z-Fighters have his number. At most, he’ll get bored and use the stupid thing to watch nature documentaries or google something he’s curious about. “I’ll text Videl to let her know that I won’t be home tonight; don’t want her waiting up for me.”

Videl Satan. Piccolo finds that he likes the earthling, though Gohan doesn’t talk much about her. From his understanding, Videl is Gohan’s best friend out of all of the humans he’s associated with since attending high school. Currently, Videl is Gohan’s roommate, as paying for a nice house by yourself these days is apparently very difficult. Piccolo also knows that the two have been on a date that didn’t work out all too well, and Nail has teased him plenty for his jealousy of Videl over it. 

Piccolo doesn’t say anything at the mention of Videl, simply turning back and flying to his home. Gohan follows him inside, but not before shaking the snow off of his boots and dusting the flakes off of his coat. His discarded accessories from before they started sparring are awkwardly bundled in his large, pale hands as he enters the capsule house behind Piccolo and closes the door. 

Something that Piccolo appreciates about Gohan is that, while he’s eloquent and able to communicate very extensively with his words, they’ve come to an understanding about the fact that it isn’t always necessary for him to do so when it’s just the two of them. Gohan understands that Piccolo isn’t always very talkative, and just like the half-Saiyan has adapted to everyone else in his life and fit them in like the pieces to a puzzle, he’s learned to communicate with Piccolo wordlessly. 

So, when they enter the Namekian’s home, nothing is said for a while. Gohan knows to take his shoes and socks off on the mat by the door and to put them in the corner by Piccolo’s shoes. He also knows not to say anything about the obnoxiously large talons on Piccolo’s feet like he did the first time Piccolo had him over at the capsule house. He knows to set his things in the guest room before meeting Piccolo in the kitchen and sitting by the window.

Piccolo knows that Gohan is hungry. Hell, Gohan has never refused food in his life. Piccolo suspects that Gohan’s perpetual hunger is one of the only things he actually inherited from Goku. 

Despite the fact that he himself lives on water, he keeps human food around for Gohan’s visits and has learned to prepare it somewhat decently. Or, maybe his cooking sucks and Gohan is both too polite and too thankful for the effort to actually comment on it. Either way, Gohan always eats the food, so Piccolo never asks. He quietly prepares four servings of instant ramen and puts an abhorrent amount of spices in it since that’s what Gohan seems to like. Occasionally, he’ll glance back at the professor, who has shed his coat and left it on the back of the chair he’s sitting in. The lenses of his glasses glare with the shine of the moonlight pouring in.

Gohan’s muscles, still prominent even after all these years, shift and ripple underneath the white thermal shirt he’s wearing as he turns to stare out the kitchen window. His raven locks are still swept by the wind and Piccolo wants nothing more than to comb through them with his fingers again, but he doesn’t. Instead, he pours Gohan’s ramen into a bowl and makes both of them a cup of hot chai. Gohan’s is loaded with milk and sugar while his own is left as is. 

When Piccolo serves the food and the tea, he notices that something is off with Gohan. The younger man actually hesitates before gulping it down, and not only that, but he forgets to thank Piccolo for making it. At first, Piccolo doesn’t say a word about it, simply sitting down across from Gohan at the table and sipping his tea. He knew Gohan was feeling nostalgic or reminiscent or something tonight, as he probably wouldn’t have come over otherwise. Now, though, he’s starting to wonder if Gohan is upset.

“What’s on your mind?” Piccolo questions, eyes cast towards the window rather than Gohan.

“What?” Gohan stammers back with bright red cheeks.

“You’ve been off tonight. Is there a reason you came over? It doesn’t feel like a normal visit,” The Namekian clarifies.

“I, uh,” Gohan pauses. It’s clear that he’s nervous and trying to come up with some sort of excuse or lie. Piccolo just rolls his eyes at it, embarrassed at how bad Gohan is at this, even after having known him for so many years. Then again, that’s what he likes about Gohan. Unlike Goku who doesn’t think to lie and unlike Vegeta who would lie to his face with concerning ease, Gohan lies and is just embarrassingly bad at it. Piccolo has always found it amusing. “I just wanted to see you.”

“I can tell when you’re lying.”

“It’s not important, Mr. Piccolo,” Gohan insists with a dismissive wave. “I promise.”

Piccolo’s face scrunches. He hasn’t heard ‘Mr. Piccolo’ since Gohan was a preteen. The formal title makes him cringe as he’s reminded of just how much his feelings have changed in the last decade. 

“Why are you calling me that?” He demands and firmly sets his mug down on the table with a clink. “You haven’t called me that in years.”

“I don’t know, I guess sometimes I revert back to it when I-...” Gohan starts, talking a little too fast, only to cut himself off. Then, he mirrors Goku in how he offers a nervous chuckle and scratches the back of his head whilst looking away. The smile on his rosy lips is awkward at best and guilty at worst. Piccolo’s brow furrows at it. “Ah, never mind.”

“No, finish what you were going to say,” Piccolo argues, to which Gohan surprisingly relents.

“Sometimes, you make me really nervous, so I-”

“Don’t tell me I still scare you after all these years.”

Then, suddenly, Gohan overflows like mercury, tears falling from his onyx eyes and onto Piccolo’s dining room table as the half-Saiyan balls up his fists in his lap and sobs. 

Piccolo sits there, still in the dining room chair, still across from Gohan. Now, he’s just uncomfortable and awkward. Even Kami and Nail are completely silent, not offering any advice or even a joke about how he’s backed himself into this seemingly inescapable corner. He doesn’t know whether he should just sit there or get up and go over to Gohan to comfort him. He pauses and waits for the half-Saiyan to say something- anything.

But, between all the tears, Gohan says nothing. He simply wipes his eyes and laughs.

For whatever reason, Gohan is laughing at him. Piccolo owlishly blinks at the ravenette. 

“I revert back to it when I get nervous,” Gohan sniffles and stares down at the table. Their cups of tea as well as Gohan’s empty bowl of food are forgotten as Piccolo gulps and cautiously runs his eyes over the younger man. Gohan’s shoulders are shaking with a mixture of his laughter and his tears, and his eyes- such a dark shade of black and so haunting- are glowing with an uncertainty that Piccolo knows all too well. “You make me nervous, Piccolo. I don’t know how you still haven’t figured it out after all these years. I’m not good at hiding it, either. Vegeta knows, Bulma knows, Videl knows, mom has interrogated me about it for years, Trunks and Goten have even started making jokes… Are you really that dense?”

Piccolo thinks his heart might have dropped all the way to the bottom of his stomach. Suddenly, the air in his house is so hot that it raises goosebumps on his skin and there’s butterflies fluttering throughout his body. He’s nauseous and excited and terrified, all at the same time. He knows what Gohan is talking about, yet he finds himself unable to believe that the half-Saiyan would bring up how their dynamic has changed so suddenly… After all the time that’s passed, too.

Why now?

“What?” The Namekian whispers. Though his body remains still, the words that come out of his mouth are shaky. “What are you talking about?”

Finally, Gohan comes out with it.

“I’ve loved you for a long time,” Gohan confesses with determination in his onyx eyes.

Piccolo has thought about this exact scenario and about how it would play out in his head a million times over. He has fantasized time and time again about all the smooth words he would say to sweep Gohan off his feet. He’s thought about taking Gohan into his arms and connecting their lips in a frenzy of passion and relief. But now that it’s actually happening- Gohan sitting right in front of him, in the flesh, confessing his love for Piccolo so earnestly- he realizes he can’t go through with any of it.

Piccolo knows that he has to do the right thing here. Gohan is sensitive and emotionally vulnerable. What if he doesn’t know how to tell the difference between platonic love and romantic love? What if he’s merely confused? What if he’s just desperate and lonely enough to use Piccolo as an outlet because the older man is the one he’s most familiar with? What if it’s just a puppy dog crush that Gohan ends up getting over in the span of a few weeks? Young humans do that stupid shit all the time, according to Bulma and Chi Chi. 

“Gohan… You aren’t saying what I think you’re saying, are you? Tell me I’m reading this wrong, that I’m-” Piccolo clears his throat and averts his gaze before continuing. “-that I’m just missing some sort of human social cue and that you aren’t actually suggesting that you might be in-”

“No. Whatever you’re thinking I’m saying is probably right,” Gohan confirms the very thing that Piccolo feared. Then, the professor rests his elbows on the table and holds his head in his hands. “Is it really that hard for you to believe?”

“...Yes,” Piccolo nods. His heart is slamming against his chest. “Yes, it is hard for me to believe. You’ve been my student since you were a toddler, Gohan. What would your parents think? And your little brother? Your friends? Your students?”

Gohan shakes his head and starts to scramble for some sort of argument. Piccolo can see and feel the panic welling up. Watching Gohan right now is like watching a drowning man in the middle of an ocean, flailing his arms, hoping that someone will see and rescue him. Piccolo looks away in an attempt to just let Gohan sink in the sea of his unwise feelings.

“You’re not that much older than me and-”

“That doesn’t matter, it’s about the maturity gap and the power differential-” Piccolo starts to rebut, but Gohan doesn’t let him finish.

“Are we really going to sit here and pretend that you’re still stronger than me? That you still have some sort of power over me?” Gohan demands with a raised voice, slamming a single fist down on the wooden table. The force behind it is enough to leave cracks throughout the entire piece of furniture. Piccolo imagines Gohan in a day or two from now, frantically apologizing about breaking his table and offering to buy him a new one. Right now, however, the professor is red in the face and clearly angry. “God dammit, Piccolo, I’ve been an adult for seven years and you’re going to sit here and tell me that you can’t acknowledge my feelings because you’re afraid of what people will say!? Why have I always been old enough to defend the planet and murder aliens but not old enough to do anything else? You haven’t even taught me anything since I was a preteen! You’re not my teacher- you’re my friend, but I want more than that. Since when do you care what people think, anyway?”

“I don’t care what people think, at least not anymore, but I don’t want to be seen as a creep by the people you love. People already think I’m a monster… I’m not going to drag you down with me. You’re intelligent and you have a good career, a good education, and a pretty face. As long as I’m not too close to you, you’ll prosper with the other humans, and you’ll maintain the good relationship you’ve had with your family. I’m certain that if your mother were to discover these feelings of yours, she’d kill me or disown you, or both. I don’t even know what your father would say, and I can imagine Goten now; he’d never let you live it down. It’s more for your sake than it is for mine.”

“Does that mean you don’t love me back, then?” Gohan whispers with a frown that rips Piccolo’s heart in two.

Deep down, the Namekian knows he should lie. He should tell Gohan that he’s never had any romantic feelings for him and that he never will. 

And yet, he can’t.

“I didn’t say that, necessarily,” Piccolo mumbles the words, only to hate himself for doing so when he sees the hope that flickers up in Gohan’s eyes. “Don’t. Don’t do this to me-”

“So, you do love me back,” Gohan practically beams and stands up so fast that his chair makes an abhorrent screech against the tile floor. 

Piccolo recoils and places his hands over his ears.

“I didn’t say that either-”

“Which is it then?”

“I do love you,” He admits. “But we shouldn’t do this. Listen, Gohan-”

“No-” Gohan tries to cut him off, but Piccolo doesn’t allow it, standing up and looming over the professor from across the table so he can talk.

“Just listen, will you? If you’re going to listen to anything I’m going to say tonight, it needs to be this, Gohan. I love you very much, and I have for a long time, but you and I are both smart enough to know that we shouldn’t do this. This situation, it… It holds a lot more weight than you want to admit. If we’re together, your family life will be in shambles. Your parents will be disappointed, your brother will tease you to no end, and all of your father’s friends- Yamcha, Tien Shinhan, Chiaotzu, Bulma, Vegeta, Master Roshi, all of them- will think lowly of both of us. You’ll never make normal friends, never have a normal family with children or grandchildren of your own. Everyone we know will judge us for it for a long time if not for the rest of our lives. Don’t you care about any of that?”

After what seems like an eternity, Piccolo finishes his ramble, practically drinking in the crisp air around them by the end of it. Gohan frowns up at him like he’s somehow offended. Meanwhile, Piccolo is standing there, shaking and purple-faced from the heavy blush that spreads across his cheeks. He doesn’t remember doing so, but in the midst of his frustration, he must’ve placed his hands flat on the table, because now Gohan is reaching forward and placing his palms on top of the backs of Piccolo’s hands.

“Nothing in my life has ever been normal, Piccolo. I don’t want normal, I want you.”

Piccolo swallows tightly.

“You want me.”

“I do,” Gohan reiterates with a nod, and it almost makes Piccolo give in.

Almost.

“No.”

“What?” 

“I said no.”

“But… I don’t understand,” Gohan’s face drops. He crosses his arms over his own body, almost as if he’s hugging himself. “I told you I don’t care about the consequences, I mean- we both love each other, what’s the problem?”

“I’m not going to ruin your life for this, Gohan. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. I’ve worked incredibly hard to keep you alive for all these years, and your mother has done everything within her means to let you live your teenage years and early adulthood like a normal human- like you’ve always deserved to. I shouldn’t have taken you when I did. You never should’ve had to fight mine or your father’s battles, never should’ve had to fight to keep me and everyone else alive just because you happened to be strong. The least I can do to repay you for saving the planet so long ago and saving me is to let you live a normal life. I refuse to ruin the work we have all put into you for this potential relationship. So, no. I know you hate rejection, and you’re going to be mad at me for a while, and that’s okay, but no. I’m not going to do this with you. You’ll thank me in a few years when you find some human to settle down and start a normal life with.”

Gohan raises his hand. 

“But-”

“No buts,” Piccolo raises his voice so suddenly that Gohan flinches at the booming sound of it. Piccolo ignores the ensuing guilt in favor of turning and starting to walk towards his bedroom. Hopefully, he can lock himself in there for the rest of the night and sleep this off- or maybe he’ll wake up and this will be rendered yet another one of his dreams about Gohan. “I’m right and we both know it. You’re too smart to be dragged down into a life with me, into a life of fighting and isolation and solitude… It’s so lonely, Gohan. You don’t deserve to know how bad it feels.”

The Namekian only gets a few steps in before he feels a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist from behind, trapping him there. He could probably throw Gohan off if he really wanted, but the thing is, he doesn’t want to. What he wants is to lean into the touch and give in already. Still, he tries to keep his resolve.

“Piccolo…”

“What are you doing?” Piccolo snaps and wriggles. Gohan doesn’t relent. “Listen, if this is some last resort of yours, it’s not gonna work on me. You may as well give up now.”

“Tell me you don’t want this,” Gohan practically begs and buries his face in Piccolo’s back. He can feel the half-Saiyan’s tears soaking through the back of his gi. Gohan’s voice cracks as he continues. “Please. If you don’t want this, that’s okay, but I can’t have you here wanting me as much as I want you only for you to reject me because you think I’m not adult enough to make my own decisions. Reject me because I’m not good enough for you, push me away. Tell me that you really don’t want this… That you don’t love me.”

Piccolo’s brow furrows. Gohan would rather be rejected for not being ‘good enough’ than for being too young and inexperienced. Piccolo supposes it makes sense, but still. Rejecting Gohan at all is proving hard enough. The last thing he wants to do is lie to the younger man and give him more self-esteem issues than he already has.

“I…” Piccolo begins, only to stop and shake his head. “I can’t. I can’t lie to you, Gohan.”

“What’s going on in your mind right now?”

“I’m scared that you don’t know what you’re doing and that I’m going to be taking advantage of you if we go through with this.”

“You’ve spent the last two decades protecting me, Piccolo. You can stop now,” Gohan murmurs, tone gentle and reassuring. The tension starts to seep out of Piccolo as the younger man’s long, nimble fingers dance across the blue sash around his waist. “You’ve made your amends. You’re not a monster anymore- you were never a monster to start with, just...”

Finally, something in Piccolo breaks. He turns around and pushes Gohan into the wall, keeping the professor there with an arm on either side of his head. Gohan seems to shrink underneath Piccolo’s gaze, appearing so small despite his impressive physique and stature.

“Are you sure about this?” Piccolo probes.

His eyes narrow, running up and down Gohan’s face. The utter determination laced through Gohan’s expression is astounding, to say the least. Piccolo tries to convince himself that this is just another really good dream and that he’s sure to wake up any minute now.

“I’m more sure about this than I’ve been about anything in my life,” Gohan confirms and reaches forward to place his hands on Piccolo’s chest.  “I want you.”

And that’s all it takes for Piccolo to crumble like broken rock underneath Gohan’s soft gaze and tentative touch. He leans forward and brushes their lips together, careful and unsure at first. When Gohan kisses him back so tenderly, Piccolo can’t help how he leans in to deepen it and clasps the half-Saiyan’s wrists in his hands. 

Gohan is built like the Greek gods that Piccolo has seen in all of the human mythology scrolls, tall and cut like stone, yet the beginnings of his toned arms feel thin within the confines of Piccolo’s awkwardly oversized fingers and palms. Gohan seems to pay it no mind, only leaning into the touch until their chests are pressed together and one of his legs is hiked up to rest on Piccolo’s sharp hip bone. 

Piccolo doesn’t know how or why this is happening, just that it is and that he doesn’t want it to stop any time soon. His heart is beating to the rhythm of Gohan’s drum as he lets go of Gohan’s wrists, only to then grab the underneath of Gohan’s thighs to drag him up. Gohan plays along seamlessly with how he wraps both legs around Piccolo’s waist and lets the Namekian whisk him out of the kitchen and into his bedroom. 

Right when he gently drapes Gohan over the cheap, fuzzy blanket that covers his bed, Piccolo opens his eyes and stops to process the fact that they’re actually about to have sex. While he isn’t the most educated about human or Namekian mating customs (or really about anything that isn’t fighting or wastelands), even he can sense the passion bouncing off of them; the sexual tension so thick he could cut it with his sharp talons if he so wished- the lust in the air that’s so heavy he can barely breathe in it.

“Gohan,” Piccolo gulps, eyes darting around the room before landing on the half-Saiyan. He slowly crawls over Gohan and flinches when the bed creaks at their combined weight. “Gohan, are you sure about this?”

“I’m sure,” Gohan nods. His onyx eyes run up and down Piccolo’s body with unmistakable desire. 

Underneath the calming hush of the dying snowfall and the moonlight that illuminates Gohan’s pale skin so beautifully, something clicks into place.

Piccolo thinks he might be dying. 

Two or three hours ago, he was convinced that Gohan would never fall in love with him in their lifetime. 

An hour or two ago, he was hellbent on rejecting Gohan’s newfound romantic advances no matter what it took. 

Half an hour ago, he had Gohan against the kitchen wall, their lips pressed together in a frenzy of pent up passion and love.

And currently, he has Gohan splayed out on his fuzzy blankets on his back. The half-Saiyan’s onyx eyes are full of desire and his cheeks are flushed a beautiful bright red from the closeness of Piccolo hovering right above him. 

“No, I don’t know what I’m doing. Not really, anyway,” Piccolo answers with furrowed brows. Despite all of his combat experience and the combined thirty-ish years he’s spent on planet earth since being created to kill Goku, he’s never trusted anyone enough to let them see past his harsh exterior and get to know him, let alone trusted anyone enough to have sex. He’s slightly familiar with how it works, but he isn’t confident in his knowledge of human or Saiyan biology- nor does he know which will be more prevalent in Gohan, assuming that the two are any different from each other. “I’m sure you’ll be surprised to hear this, but I’ve never… You know.”

“Had sex before?” Gohan finishes the statement for him. A half smile ghosts over his lips. “Actually, it’s not all that surprising when I think about it. Can you even…?”

Piccolo rushes to answer, a little embarrassed at the implication that he’s unable to have sex. He hasn’t done it with another person, sure, but he’s had enough alone time over the years to get the gist of how his body works. The only real problem is that he’s unsure of how sexually compatible him and Gohan will be.

“Uh, yeah- I mean, I can, and I think we can, but it may be a little different than whatever it is you’re expecting.”

“I haven’t done it with anyone before either,” Gohan confesses, to which Piccolo lets out a sigh of relief. But then, his stomach drops. This is Gohan’s first time. To humans, that’s an important milestone in life. He’s heard all of Goku’s friends like Yamcha and Krillin talk about it in such a vulgar yet sentimental manner that he’s able to understand just how prevalent sex is in human culture; especially the first time someone has it. What if he fucks it up for Gohan? Whatever anxiety he has about that is alleviated, though, as Gohan reaches up to place his hands on Piccolo’s cheeks. There’s a warm hand on either side of the Namekian’s face and a thumb gently caressing one of his high cheekbones. “It’s fine, though, I promise. We’ll figure it out together.”

A flurry of feelings hit Piccolo all at once. First, relief. Second, embarrassment. Third, utter love and adoration. He isn’t sure which to lean into, so for a moment, he just remains there, wordless and watching over Gohan with blush-purple cheeks and wide charcoal eyes. 

“I…”

“What’s wrong?” Gohan asks in a whisper.

“Nothing, this is all just really sappy of you,” Piccolo admits.

A beat of silence drums on, slow and romantic until Gohan interrupts it with-

“How do you wanna do this? Wanna just strip down and go from there?”

“Yeah, sure,” Piccolo swallows.

His throat is tight. His heart is beating out of his chest, and he can’t focus on anything but Gohan, Gohan, Gohan; Gohan, who is somehow in love with the monster that is him after all these years- Gohan, who is staring up at him so adoringly- Gohan, who is willing to be open and vulnerable with Piccolo, the monster that he is. 

At that thought, Piccolo hesitates. Gohan is a lot… Smaller than him. The younger man is roughly half his weight and two feet shorter than him, and quite a bit thinner as well. Not quite fragile, but not as sturdy as a Namekian, either. Though his Saiyan biology allows him to keep a frame that’s much more cut and durable than the average human man, Gohan has definitely lost some bulk since he stopped fighting to pursue his passion for education. Piccolo fears that he’ll lose control and shatter Gohan like glass with his own monstrous strength.

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you really sure about this?”

Gohan’s brows pinch together in frustration at the same time that an indignant pout takes over his lips and cheeks. 

“I already told you-”

“I know, but it’s so sudden, and I don’t think you’ve really thought through the implications and the consequences of this- hell, Gohan, what if I hurt you?”

Surprisingly, Gohan stops. The frustration on his face fades to nothing as he reaches down to start popping open the buttons of his top in a way so tantalizing that it has Piccolo’s mouth watering.

“I’ve wanted this for a fucking decade, Piccolo. I want to give myself to you,” Pop, pop, pop. Gohan, who is usually so gentle and so careful, practically rips his shirt off and throws it across the room. It smacks into the wall before pathetically falling to the floor. Gohan continues, reaching up to undo the blue sash around Piccolo’s purple gi. Admittedly, Gohan slows down for Piccolo, which the Namekian is grateful for. His sash is removed with grace and dropped to the rug on the floor beside the bed. Gohan then tugs at the gi Piccolo is still wearing, clearly impatient but not impatient enough to rip Piccolo’s clothes off or pressure him into doing something he doesn’t want to do. “I want you to hurt me. I’ll be fine, I promise. Seriously.”

“...I’m not going to hurt you- at least not on purpose,” Piccolo mumbles and averts his gaze while shrugging his gi off of his shoulders. The garment falls down to his waist, caught on his sharp hip bones. The entirety of his broad chest and muscular arms are revealed to Gohan. He can’t help but feel self-conscious; his body is so much bigger, so much more different than Gohan’s. If not for the utter admiration in Gohan’s expression, Piccolo would be terrified of the half-Saiyan being disgusted by it. “If you’re sure…Then okay. Let’s do it.”

They strip the rest of the way down, Piccolo discarding his gi with his sash and Gohan taking care of the rest of his own layers. Most of it ends up on a pathetic pile on the floor, forgotten by the two men, who are busy staring each other up and down. Piccolo notices that Gohan’s thin, pale frame is like something carved out of marble or stone, unblemished and smooth like the peaceful life he’s been living. 

Unlike Piccolo, he’s not covered in scars or stretch marks from muscles built by endless decades of battle and training. Unlike Piccolo, Gohan isn’t naturally built to fight. The softness in his eyes reflects that, too. 

Gohan has broad shoulders and a narrow chest, a defined v-line and sharp abs. His chest rises and falls with each and every slow, heavy breath of his as Piccolo looks further down. Gohan’s muscular thighs are pinned between Piccolo’s knees, and briefly, the Namekian imagines what his head would feel like with the insides of said thighs crushing his head. He also thinks about the half-hard cock between Gohan’s legs, colored rosy like his cheeks, uncut and veiny. It’s not too different from Piccolo’s own, just smaller and… Well, not green with a ribbed pink base- nor is it accompanied by a slick pussy just a few inches below it like Piccolo’s is.

Piccolo’s eyes roam shamelessly. It’s the first time that he’s taken Gohan in like this and allowed himself to memorize every curve and dip and every muscle and vein without scolding himself for being such a monster afterwards. 

Tonight, he’s done being a monster. Tonight, he’s a lover instead, and hopefully, that’s what Gohan sees as well.

“Oh, wow, you… You have both,” Gohan suddenly stammers out.

It takes everything in Piccolo not to shrivel up and die from the embarrassment on his plush bed. 

“Excuse me? What do you mean I have ‘both’?” Piccolo demands with purple cheeks.

“I, um,” Gohan offers a nervous laugh that makes Piccolo flash back to where they were at the kitchen table just earlier with Gohan trying to insist that nothing was wrong when in reality, he was harboring the same deep-seeded feelings that Piccolo has had for years. “Sorry, that probably came off a little rude, but what I meant was… Female presenting humans tend to have a vagina while male presenting humans tend to have a penis. It looks like you have the Namekian equivalent to both. I think the technical term is hermaphrodite, but-”

“God, you’re a fucking nerd,” Piccolo spits out in embarrassment. He thinks he’s put the pieces together now between Gohan’s unsexy-sex-talk, the few bits of human sex he’s seen through human media, and the few things he’s heard from Nail and Kami about how both his and Gohan’s people procreate. “What do we do now?”

“I, uh…” Gohan wriggles on the bed, clearly anxious. His eyes flicker between Piccolo’s face and the duvet. “Do you wanna do me?”

“Don’t… Don’t you have to prepare for that sort of thing?” Piccolo murmurs.

“I already did.”

“Wait, what? Are you telling me you planned for this to happen!?”

“No? I mean, not necessarily,” Gohan stammers, and as he does, Piccolo’s heart skips a beat. The thought that Gohan anticipated for this to happen all along is actually somewhat comforting. It reminds him that no, he didn’t force this, and no, he’s not the monster that everyone has always made him out to be. Gohan wants this just as much as he does… Gohan actually wants him back. “But… I did want to be prepared just in case it did. I already douched in the shower before coming here, and if you don’t know what that is-”

“I think I’ll pass on the explanation. I’ll take your word for it, but so God help me, if this ends up backfiring somehow because you’re rushing it, I’m never going to let you live it down.”

“Okay, okay, I hear you,” The ravenette laughs and fumbles with his shaky hands to reach for his discarded pants. He takes a tiny clear bottle filled with a pink, gel-like substance out of his pockets. Piccolo can’t read the label because it’s in English, but he recognizes the shape of strawberries to the side of the brand’s logo. “Just, um… Here, I have some lube, I can stretch myself out to take you if you wanna watch.”

“What’s lube?” Piccolo asks, assuming that ‘lube’ must be the substance in the bottle the half-Saiyan beneath him is currently twisting the cap off of.

“It’s a liquid that you use to make things wet before or during penetration or grinding so it doesn’t hurt as much. It makes it a little easier.”

Gohan pours some of the slick gel onto his fingers and spreads his legs just far enough to pump two of his lube-covered digits into his tight entrance. The scent of artificial strawberry flavoring wafts through the air as the bottle is abandoned somewhere under one of the pillows. Gohan’s spare hand drifts to his cock, which he pumps slowly and teasingly, similar to how Piccolo would please himself were he alone. The Namekian realizes that he overthought everything all along- despite some minor anatomical differences, he and Gohan will end up being sexually compatible. 

They’ll be just fine.

Piccolo watches in awe while attempting to hide the relief and excitement threatening to break through his expression. In the midst of it all, however, he finds himself feeling guilty for just looming over Gohan with his jaw slack while the younger man does all the work. So, he reaches forward with shaky hands and speaks-

“I’d rather do it for you… If I can. I feel useless just sitting here watching you.”

“But Piccolo… Your nails,” Gohan freezes and reminds him. “Won’t they hurt?”

“I know, they’re sharp. I wasn’t planning on using my fingers. I’d rather not mutilate your insides with my talons tonight if we can avoid it… Not that I think I’d be able to cram the length of my fingers all the way up there anyway,” Piccolo clarifies with a small chuckle and shifts so he’s on his elbows and knees between Gohan’s legs. 

“O-Oh, um, okay…? Then what exactly are you planning?” Gohan whispers and props himself up on his elbows, seemingly to observe whatever it is that Piccolo plans on doing. The Namekian doesn’t bother warning him, just grabs his calves and places them over his shoulders before burying his face in the ravenette’s heat and prodding it open with his tongue. “Fuck…!”

At the exclamation, that of which is paired with a gasp, Piccolo perks his head up and looks at Gohan worriedly. 

“Is something wrong?” He asks between the flavor of strawberry lube and hot, sweaty skin on his tongue. 

Were the night not so intense, Piccolo thinks he would tease Gohan for both his desperation and the ridiculous choice of lube. He decides he can do that some other time and maintains eye contact with a flustered, trembling Gohan. 

“No, no, it’s just… I wasn’t prepared for you to do that, but you can keep going… If you want.”

“If I want? Really?” Piccolo shakes his head and gets ready to dive back in with a final remark. “I’ve been waiting years for this, Gohan. Of course I want to… You’re something else.”

With that, the older man resumes his motions. His long, thick fingers wrap around Gohan’s calves to keep them atop his broad shoulders as his slick tongue delves into the ravenette’s needy hole. It’s not for long that he gets to eat the half-Saiyan out, though, as he’s quickly interjected by Gohan saying-

“Stop, stop,” It’s breathy and rushed in a way that sounds almost panicked, so Piccolo immediately stops and peers up at Gohan with furrowed brows. “Oh, thank God.”

“Was I doing something wrong?” Piccolo, embarrassed, speaks and averts his eyes.

“No, I was just about to cum,” Gohan frantically objects with a nervous laugh and a heavy blush. “Or, finish, I mean- reach climax? I don’t know what terms Namekians use, but I’m sure you understand-”

“For the love of God, stop, you sound like such a nerd right now,” Piccolo huffs with a sort of half-smile. He meets Gohan’s eyes.  “Do I need to slow down or something, or did you just not want it to end until…?”

“The, uh, the second one,” Gohan clears his throat and anxiously fiddles with his fingers. “Don’t wanna cum until you’re actually inside me, y’know? It is our first time.”

“Yeah, okay. How do you want to position this?”

“I wanna be looking at you,” Is the first thing Gohan says. Piccolo wonders if that’s the custom for humans or Saiyans or both- if it’s somehow better that way, or maybe it’s just Gohan’s sentimental side coming out. He doesn’t dare comment on it, lest he scare Gohan back into his shy shell. “So… Maybe I can stay on my back like this and you can get between my legs? I’ll tilt my hips up a bit and wrap my legs around your waist so it’s not as hard for you. I think it’s called missionary…?”

“Okay, sure.”

They’re already pretty close to the position that Gohan described, so Piccolo doesn’t have to do too much adjusting to get them there. He simply sits up on his knees and pulls Gohan’s legs around his waist.

“You look good from this angle. Absolutely beautiful,” Gohan compliments with a sappy grin, but it flusters Piccolo too much for him to acknowledge it, so he changes the subject instead.

“Are you really sure about this?” Piccolo asks one last time while stroking his cock with a handful of lube and tracing some of the slick substance around the circumference of Gohan’s asshole, convinced that whatever God- Kami in his subconscious, King Yemma in the afterlife, King Kai on that sad little planet- is going to smite him for daring to touch such a pure, perfect, loving soul like this when he’s such a monster.

But he’s done being a monster, he tells himself. He shakes his head to clear it of the thought and hones in on Gohan’s response, which is a rather frustrated and aggressive-

“So God help me, if you ask that one more time-” The angry half-threat is promptly cut off by Piccolo lining the head of his lubed cock up with the outer rim of Gohan’s ass and cautiously pushing in. “Oh, God-”

Gohan cuts himself off and turns his head to the side, one cheek against the pillow. His kiss-bruised lips are parted in a moan. The rest of his expression is twisted in some mixture between pain and pleasure. He clenches down around Piccolo’s cock hard, so hard that the Namekian nearly doubles over from it. It’s somewhat uncomfortable but it also feels good in a way so intimate that he suspects his heart may burst. Then, Gohan’s eyes flutter open to meet his and Piccolo is confident that he must be dreaming- either that or dying.

Neither of those things prove to be true, though. He is very much alive and very much awake, he can tell by the blood drumming so quickly through his veins and his heart slamming against his chest, by the smell of worn off cologne and sweat coming from Gohan that’s too real to be a dream or heaven or anything but real, here, and now.

“Are… Are you okay, Gohan? What do you want me to do?” Piccolo questions.

“Move, please.”

So, he does. He pulls his hips back far enough that the only part of his cock left in Gohan is the head, and then, he pushes back in to the hilt. Gohan jumps at first. Maybe he’s just startled or maybe Piccolo’s size is somewhat overstimulating and somewhat painful, but he doesn’t complain, so Piccolo continues doing what he was told to do; move. 

Initially, part of him suspected this to be an hour or two hour ordeal. With it being their first time, Piccolo didn’t expect Gohan to rush into it, let alone allow penetration, but here they are. Piccolo isn’t complaining, either. The sensation that comes from Gohan’s velvety wetness squeezing around him so tightly is heavenly enough that he nearly cums after a few thrusts. It’s so intense that Piccolo has to clench his fists to keep himself from finishing too fast. 

It’s a little awkward at the start regardless of how good it feels because of his inexperience, but Piccolo manages to put together what Gohan does and doesn’t like in the bedroom from the noises he makes in response to the Namekian’s actions. At one point, he has to grab the abandoned lube once more and hastily pour more on so as to not hurt them with any sort of dryness. Eventually, he finds a good rhythm with slow yet thorough thrusts that drag his dick wonderfully along the length of Gohan’s gummy walls. He simultaneously balances his weight on one arm beside Gohan’s body on the mattress so he can have a free hand to reach down and stroke the half-Saiyan’s cock in sync with his thrusts. Gohan bucks into his hand with a whiny, breathy whisper of Piccolo’s name.

“Piccolo, I’m- I’m-” Gohan starts to stutter out, clearly desperate to communicate something but too overwhelmed by the pleasure to get the words out. Tears start to well up in his eyes and fall from the corners, the movements of his hips become progressively shakier, and his hands are scrambling to find something- anything- to grip onto for some sort of purchase. First, Gohan grabs at the bed sheets, then at the pillow his head is on, then at his own hair, and finally, those strong hands are placed palm-first on either side of Piccolo’s face. He looks Piccolo dead in the eye, so vulnerable and ready to fall apart, a picture of something so beautiful that Piccolo never thought he’d get to see in his lifetime outside of his dreams. “I’m going to cum…! I’m so close, Piccolo!”

Gohan cries out. Piccolo doesn’t get overexcited and pick up speed, nor does he get nervous and slow down. Instead, he continues the pace he’s been at for the last few minutes, pistoning his hips into Gohan’s in a way that’s slow yet rough. 

Gohan’s short yet sharp nails dig into the jade-hued skin of his back just hard enough to break skin. Piccolo refuses to acknowledge the pain. He’s too absorbed in how Gohan’s tight ass flutters around him so beautifully at the same time the ravenette tenses. Cum spills from Gohan’s hard dick and onto his own perfectly chiseled and pale abdomen.

“Do you want me to stop now?” Piccolo asks and slows down just a tad.

Gohan shakes his head.

“No, no, I want you to finish. Go ahead, keep going, please…!”

Piccolo wonders if Gohan’s sure about this or if he’s just saying it to be overly considerate, but he doesn’t ask. He’s too horny and too desperate to care, so he follows Gohan’s instructions and pulls his hips back before pushing them into the younger man once more.

When Piccolo finishes, it feels like fireworks, bright and loud and hot and overwhelming. The Namekian manages to give a few more sharp, focused thrusts before the new sensation of orgasm crashes over him and tears his world into tiny little pieces. With a couple more weak pivots of his hips, he comes to a slow still to fill Gohan up with his cum. All the while, the younger man clings to Piccolo like his life depends on it and lets out a weak whine that Piccolo tries to memorize the sound of.

And then it’s over. Piccolo collapses, all two hundred fifty pounds of him on top of Gohan’s thin frame. Were it anyone else, Piccolo would be afraid of crushing them, but he knows Gohan can handle it, so he makes no move to get up. Even with his ear against Gohan’s shoulder rather than his chest, he can hear the half-Saiyan’s heart slamming against his chest. As fast as Gohan showed up to spar with Piccolo and confess his love, Gohan somehow managed to lure Piccolo into bed with him. Not that he’s complaining, of course…

Looking up at Gohan, who appears utterly exhausted yet so blissed out and utterly in love, Piccolo doesn’t think he’d have it any other way despite him arguing against it so vehemently in his tiny kitchen less than an hour ago.

“You’re not going to make me go home now, are you?” Is the first thing Gohan says as they start to catch their breath.

Piccolo isn’t sure whether he should feel guilty or amused at that.

“Of course not,” Piccolo answers after a long pause to gather his feelings. Gohan seems to let out a sigh of relief, only to gasp when Piccolo lifts himself up with his hands on the bed and slowly pulls out. The noise that results is uncomfortable, an odd squelch sound that Piccolo is sure he’s never heard before despite decades of putting holes through bodies, breaking limbs, and witnessing violent deaths. He tries to ignore it by continuing to talk while flopping back onto the other side of the bed. “I’m not sure how happy your mother’s going to be about you not coming home tonight, but you know you always have a place here. You can stay as long as you’d like.”

“She’ll live,” Gohan shrugs, and then it’s quiet for a moment. The ravenette shifts his legs uncomfortable and Piccolo is confused until he remembers- “Do you have some, uh, wipes… Or something?”

Piccolo blanks. He’s covered with sweat and remnants of his own cum, and Gohan is covered in sweat and even more of his cum. Were he prepared for something like this to happen, he would have had a towel, wipes, napkins- literally anything other than nothing- ready for him and Gohan to use, but in their throes of passion, he neglected to take the clean up into account.

“No, not really… That’s my bad. We can take a shower, though, if you want.”

“Sure,” Gohan agrees and slowly tries to stand up, only to trip over himself immediately.

Thankfully, Piccolo makes it in time to catch Gohan and lift him up in his arms.

“Your legs gave out, didn’t they? I guess I’ll just have to carry you, but don’t get used to it. We’ll take a bath instead.” 

Gohan nods, and with that, Piccolo heads to the bathroom with Gohan in tow.

“You know I love you, right?” Gohan says, totally unprompted. It’s so sudden and unexpected that Piccolo damn-near drops him. “Really. I mean that.”

“Yeah, I know,” Piccolo responds with a half-smile and looks down at Gohan, who’s staring back up at him so earnestly. Relief washes over him like warm water, and for the first time in years, he finally feels at ease. Maybe acting on his feelings wasn’t such a terrible thing to do after all. “And I love you, too. Thank you, Gohan.”

“For what?”

“Loving me… Even though I’m a monster.”

“You’re not a monster, and how could I not love you? You’re all I’ve ever wanted. I meant everything I said earlier.”

“I know you meant it, and I know you love me,” Piccolo sighs and, in a display of true affection, leans down to kiss the top of Gohan’s head- sweat be damned. “And I love you, too.”

[caxycreations]

Ok so here's my headcanon. Since he's a gag character, Saitama would usually beat Goku in one punch, no questions asked. UNLESS he encountered Vegeta first. Vegeta has shown knowledge of how gag characters work, and would think he's got this in the bag by being funny about it. Unflrtunately, it's probably funnier if despite that he still can't beat Saitama BUT then Goku shows up and actually does, once again being juuuust a tiny bit ahead of Vegeta. Or maybe he'd just last 2 seconds more in a fight before passing out idk

The problem with this is that Saitama ISN'T a gag character. Sure he was back for most of Season One, but his gag was "everything dies instantly to a single hit", and then Boros didn't. And yes, Saitama was holding back, but something to note is that Boros survived MANY of Saitama's normal punches, and even Saitama's Serious Series, Serious Punch didn't instantly kill him. Boros did die from the injuries, but it took him long enough to have an entire conversation with Saitama.

This means Saitama's Serious Series, Serious Punch has an upper limit to how powerful it is. If it had no limit Boros would have died instantly, reduced to paste and splatters like every other enemy.

We have another, more recent example of an enemy surviving Saitama's hits. Garou. Garou has had a massive battle with Saitama, and has taken hit after hit after hit, all from the Serious Series. This means Saitama's Serious Series is, at least, too weak to 1hko Garou. One Serious Series punch dealt injuries Boros could not survive. He was rendered an upper torso and a head, and that killed him.

Freeza on the other hand, back on Namek, was rendered an upper torso with one arm and a head, and was able to survive being so. This means, at least in Durability, Freeza is able to take more punishment than Boros. Freeza would survive a Serious Punch from Saitama. This is important.

We next see Freeza on Earth, enhanced with cybernetics by his force's best medical and mechanical staff. Trunks, in Super Saiyan, cuts Freeza in half, dices him after, then atomizes him, in the span of 2 seconds.

Goku, hours later, is revealed to now be more powerful than Trunks due to his training on Yardrat. This means Goku, who could have easily killed Freeza on Namek, could do so with even greater ease than Trunks did.

Meaning Goku's capable of output great enough to insta-kill Namek-Saga Freeza, who can take more than Boros, meaning Goku's serious attacks are more damaging than Saitama's.

But output isn't everything, you need to account for what they can dish out AND what they can take.

So...

Saitama's output was not enough to insta-kill Boros. It wouldn't be enough to kill Freeza. Now, I will say, he could 1hko Namek-Saga Freeza if he hit him in the head.

But it still gives us a solid idea of his power output, and whether or not Goku could tank it.

So we know Saitama could 1-2 hit Namek Freeza. Likely the same with Mecha-Freeza. So he is, at least, bare minimum, as strong as Trunks was at his introduction. That puts him above all of the Earthlings, and even above Piccolo pre-Kamiccolo.

But let's look at some of the feats present here.

Goku, as of the end of the Battle of Gods final fight, was powerful enough to handle most of Beerus' power. Beerus was hitting Goku so hard that the reverberations were literally felt across the entire universe and tearing apart the fabric of reality. And Goku, in the span of seconds, learned to counter them with just the right force in just the right way to completely nullify those reverberations with his own.

This means, Battle of Gods Goku (Super Saiyan God form) was Universal in power, and taking hits that matched that level.

So Goku's durability is actually beyond Universal. The same hits that were actively destroying the universe were hits Goku was able to block.

Saitama's Serious Series, Serious Punch parted clouds the world over. But it didn't do much else.

Saitama's Serious Series, Death punch demolished an entire mountain range, parted the clouds, but not much else. From this, we can gather Saitama is, sadly, NOT planetary.

Meaning Goku, who has super-universal durability, wouldn't even feel Saitama's attacks unless he was in Base Form, and even then he might not depending on which canon you subscribe to, as in anime canon Beerus states Goku's body adapted to God power and retained it (meaning Base Goku is, anime-wise, as powerful as his first SSJ God transformation was, and all his transformations now increase that).

[sevenstarsinning]

chibi vegeta would be such an angry little shit. he would probably bite lol

He definitely would bite and get thumped in the head every fucking time for it.

[whoopsieintheuniverse]

May I request a fluffy Vegeta x Reader where reader spoils bf/husband Vegeta in tiny ways just because she loves him? (Maybe a little angst too if needed because of being a prince and all? Only if you vibe with it) Like maybe makes his favorite dessert just cause or buys something that he looked interested in weeks before because does so much for y/n? (just a few ideas to clarify?) Thank you so much! 💙❤🌹😊

Heavy is the Head (Vegeta Fluff Request)

The sun creeped into the window of Y/N’s apartment. She sighed and shifted, reaching out beside her. Once, twice, three times, her hand patted out beside her, feeling her sheets for a body. When she didn’t find it, Y/N frowned and sat up, looking at the cold space beside her. Scoffing, Y/N rolled out of bed, shivering as her feet hit the cool carpet below her. Y/N shuffled to her kitchen; used pans were still left out, and a plate of food was sitting on the counter. Next to it, a note rested, crumpled and slightly torn from haste.

‘Y/N.

Training for most of the day. Don’t wait up.

V.’

Y/N sighed and set Vegeta’s note down. She stretched, rolling her neck. Y/N took up the plate gingerly, munching on cold toast as she wandered through the house.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

Vegeta slammed the door behind him. His chest heaved up and down; dust puffed off his body and scattered on the floor around him. He reached up and wiped a hand over his brow, flicking sweat and blood off of his hand. Vegeta slouched against the door, grinding his teeth, not noticing Y/N tiptoeing toward him.

“Geta?”

Vegeta looked up, his eyes searching Y/N’s face.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Y/N said. “You just seemed tired. Did training go alright?”

Vegeta shrugged. He stood tall and walked past Y/N, brushing past her as he went.

“It was fine. I’m going to clean myself up.”

Y/N frowned as she watched Vegeta retreat into the bathroom. She crossed her arms and frowned. Sighing, Y/N made her way to the kitchen.

As Y/N settled into her kitchen, Vegeta scrubbed himself in the shower. He grimaced as his hands grazed his scrapes and cuts. The water beneath him swirled into red, then light pink, and Vegeta sighed as finally the water ran clear. Screwing the tap shut, Vegeta wrapped himself in a towel and waded out of the bathroom.

As his body dried, Vegeta sniffed the air. Ham sizzled and the smell of bread wafted from the kitchen.

“What’s all this,” Vegeta rumbled as he walked into the kitchen. Y/N gave him a small smile.

“You’re not hungry?” Y/N asked. She got up and crept toward him, and Y/N smiled again as she kissed him on the cheek.

“I set out some clothes straight out the dryer on the bed for you. You should put them on while they’re still warm,” Y/N said. “I’ll make a plate for you when you’re dressed.”

Vegeta eyed Y/N cautiously.

“Are you ill?”

Y/N snorted.

“No. You’ve just seemed stressed lately. I’m being nice. Now, go get dressed.”

Y/N shooed Vegeta along, and Vegeta slowly turned on his heel head to his room. While he went and dressed himself, Y/N hummed to herself at the stove. She took two plates and piled them high with food, and she set them down just in time to see Vegeta dressed in a shirt and sweatpants.

“Here you go! Sit down before everything gets cold!” Y/N said.

Slowly, Vegeta sat down to his food. Y/N sat down next to him and helped herself to the meal.

After a while, Y/N frowned. She looked up to find Vegeta poking at his food.

“Not hungry, babe?” Y/N asked.

“I appreciate your effort, but not really,” he sniffed. “I’m more tired than anything.”

Y/N nodded and finished her last bite of food. She rose and placed her hand out, waving it slightly in front of Vegeta’s face.

“C’mon, babe. Let’s head to bed for a nap.”

Vegeta looked at Y/N’s hand before smiling and standing. He crossed the table quickly; Vegeta didn’t hesitate to scoop Y/N up in his arms while she snorted. The pair walked to the bedroom, with Y/N wiggling in Vegeta’s grasp. Y/N giggled as Vegeta plopped her down on the bed. He scoffed at her laughs but allowed himself a smile nevertheless as he slid in beside her.

Y/N sighed in content as she curled up next to Vegeta. Relishing in his warmth, Y/N allowed herself to edge closer to Vegeta’s back. She snaked her arms around him, sighing again. One of Y/N’s hands reached up to stroke through Vegeta’s scalp, and Y/N could have sworn she heard him purr.

“Must you insist on clinging to me, woman?” Vegeta asked. Y/N smirked – there was no bite in his tone, and Y/N could hear sleep ebbing into his tone. Y/N continued to finger through Vegeta’s hair, occasionally reaching down to kiss at his forehead. Soon, Vegeta’s breathing slowed. Y/N smiled as he snored, and soon, she followed suit.

Enjoy my work? Consider supporting me on kofi: https://ko-fi.com/whoopsieintheuniverse

[carnal-lnstinct]

𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 "𝐼 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢".

Summary: A series of short one-shots inspired by this prompt, 1-35. I am not going to write all the prompts and I will not be writing them in order, but based off inspiration. To fuel my “horny on main” I may focus mainly on writing for Goku but there may be a few with other characters. Not all fics will be suitable for all ages. Minors should not interact with prompts rated mature/18+.

Completed Prompts:  2 / 4 / 7 / 10 / 16 / 19 / 20 / 21 / 27 / 34

10. Not said to me

Pairing: Goku x Female Saiyan Reader ( Conton City Hero ) Rating: E Warning: ( N/A ) A/N: I miss writing xenoverse 2 related fics. Context: Xenoverse 2 Goku when pair w/ Time Patroller is a version of Goku who never married Chi Chi and trains Time Patrollers.

Little Gohan followed you back to the Time Nest from your mission to escape the “scary” Piccolo who left him to fend for himself. You didn’t even notice him until his little grip found your tail and brought you down in seconds flat, paralyzing you until he let go. He was fascinated at you, having a tail that looked and acted just like his own. But then he was afraid of you for the same reason. The large man who kidnapped him also had a tail and he had beaten his father, and the way you reacted to your tail being grabbed didn’t help to ease the poor boy’s fear. Gohan suddenly let out a wail full of tears and helpless hiccups. 

It was only when the others came running at the sound along with Goku, your Goku, and entered the Time Nest did the little one’s tears suddenly stop. Gohan made a beeline for his “Father” and clung to him with all of his strength. He refused to let go, the confused Goku looking down at his occupied leg with a tilted head. It was going to be bad for the Time Scrolls of that Age for him to stay here and he needed to go back pronto, however even mentioning that brought out another outburst of cries from the small boy. The thought of returning to Piccolo or winding up finding someone else like Raditz set such a sense of dread in him. He wanted to stay with his daddy. Goku finally conceded to gather him in his arms while the rest of you discussed the matter, Gohan burying his face in his gi and curling himself up. The way he trembled and his tiny hands gripped the fabric so desperately, Goku couldn’t help but sympathize with the fear the boy displayed. It filled him with a bizarre sense of familiarity to hold this child he had never seen before. He spoke softly to him and patted a hand at his back to calm him.

The fact he shared the same name as his Grandpa and the Gohan from Trunks’ timeline who was also training Time Patrollers was enough to sway the saiyan to defend him. Besides, he was way too shaken up to be left alone right now.   

Goku sided with the little guy and offered to keep an eye on him until you all figured everything out. It wouldn’t do any of you any good to just toss him back right now, nor would it be irreparable harm if he stayed for just a little while. Just long enough to calm himself down. Supreme Kai of Time still had to gather all the scrolls together now that you returned with the distorted one “repaired” in order to stop any other small time distortions from happening. However, any bigger problems that can’t be avoided would only be fixed once Gohan was returned to his rightful place in the timeline, as she was quick to explain that much as well. 

Trunks thought it was kind of nice to see the little version of his own childhood hero and took sides with Goku as well. As long as he was returned to the exact moment he was taken from, there would be no issues.

You knew Gohan was in for a rough deal the moment he got back in his own time. Preparing for Vegeta and Nappa to get to Earth with Piccolo seemed brutal for even a half-saiyan so young, but he wasn’t too far off from getting his bearings as any other lower-class warrior as far as saiyan culture stands. If he was old enough to walk, and cry, then he was old enough to start working at a learning a useful trade or basic battle skills. Although, it certainly wouldn’t hurt him to just get to be a little kid with his “dad” for a day longer. Being an outsider looking in as a Time Patroller, you’ve watched all versions of Gohan suffer to a degree. He doesn’t really catch a break from the struggles he endures no matter the timeline, like the universe wants to build him up from a place of pain, fear, and anger. You’re not all exactly heartless enough to just throw a terrified child out on his own. Especially you for snapping at him for pulling your tail. He was going to be in good hands with Piccolo in the end, but it could wait.

You, too, agreed to let him hang out in Conton City just for a bit. It was not like he was going to remember any of it. You would all be like a dream to him once the scrolls are fixed together.  Or you presumed it would work out that way, no one’s ever followed you back from traveling with the Time Scroll before.

Much to Elder Kai’s dismay, it was just a waiting game at this time and Supreme Kai of Time agreed to allow it long enough for her to fix the scrolls. That, and maybe the cute face peeking out from Goku’s gi had played on her heart just a bit. You thought it would be interesting to see Goku interact with his young son from another timeline. He never married and had children from the timeline he comes from, but it still paralleled the main flow of history close enough with some unexpected outcomes. That life of hard training and world shaking battles did eventually bring him here where he met you. Some would call it fate the Savior of the Earth, self-proclaimed hope of the universe, would come to love The Conton City Hero, Savior of the time itself.

Thus, Gohan now had the chance to find a moment of peace and feel safe in his new surroundings. Goku didn’t have it in him to correct Gohan for calling him his dad. It wasn’t completely untrue, yet to try to explain he wasn’t but a version of him from another timeline would probably upset him again and make things more complicated than they needed to be. It felt oddly natural to just accept it.  The little one was just happy to once again be with his “father” and away from the scary bad men.

He slowly opened up to exploring Conton City, but never strayed too far from Goku’s side. Each grab at the man’s hand or cling to his leg came with a smile for the little one, encouraging Gohan to pursue whatever it was that caught his eye without fear. He admired the large hologram display of you in the city as many other denizens of Conton gathered around it as well. Goku thoughtfully had set Gohan on his shoulders so he could get a better look and not become lost in the crowd.

“See Gohan, (y/n) is a hero here. I know she makes scary faces, but (y/n) is your friend, too.” Goku explained holding little Gohan secure on his shoulders.

“Scary faces?” You repeated, brow twitching in offense to that. When Gohan looks back to you, you force a sweet smile for him and give a modest shrug. Though Goku can feel your glare in his spine when the child looks away and shudders with a brief chill of fear, quickly moving on to the next thing. In such a short time, the two had become inseparable from each other. Goku moved throughout Conton City with such excitement to share his favorite places with Gohan. You could barely keep up with them and how fast their interests changed to the next “best thing in the city”.

Gohan was immediately taken with flying around, he had no idea his father could fly without the Nimbus Cloud. Looking at Conton City from this far up really showed how dynamic and lively it was. He was initially startled at the sight of the large dragon circling the entire city, but Goku convinced him it was nothing to be afraid of. If anything, it was like a guardian watching over everyone from afar.

Goku was very eager to show Gohan off to his other students who were admittedly less thrilled and more familiar with their familial relationship than Goku thought. But never had Conton had such a young version of Gohan to charm them with his adorable, clumsy, and well-mannered ways. No one’s been this excited about a little one since Lord Beerus wandered through with Bulla. None risked getting too close then, however. This was much less stressful and more inviting. Goku allowed Gohan to even participate in some basic warm-ups that lead to him showing off the movements for the Kamehameha to him. Gohan took to mimicking it, falling in sync with Goku’s motions as they did it together. Gohan actually released a decent size blast on his own once he found the flow of power within himself. It startled him and you, but Goku was just amazed he had gotten it so easily. It was just like himself when he saw Master Roshi do it for the first time. You catch that glint in Goku’s eyes and to remind him ki blasts in the city were forbidden before he could encourage Gohan to try again.

The two then went to explore the Bamboo Forest area instead where Gohan immediately recognized the little shack before Goku could explain it, surprising him when Gohan climbed out of his hold and trotted in the direction of the structure. He knew it was Grandpa Gohan’s home, addressing it as such once he reached it.

“Don’t you remember bringing me here before, daddy?” Gohan beams up at him.

“I did?” Goku mused on the idea. It did sound like something he would do had he a kid of his own. His Grandpa may be gone, but there’s always a pleasant air around here that makes Goku feel like the Old Man was still waiting inside for him to return from his own little adventure with a story to share. Grandpa Gohan would have loved to meet the child named to carry his honor and legacy. Of course the other Goku would bring his son here to share that homey feeling that came with this place. Goku squatted down to Gohan’s level, smiling warmly at him. “Remind me what we did here.”

You watched them with a bit of distance now, letting them just have each other’s company with an adoring smile. Goku was always really good with kids and keeping up with the manner in which they like to play. Roughhousing with Trunks, hide and seek or imaginary tea parties with Marron, and airplane games with Baby Bulla, but this time with Gohan felt a little deeper. He connected with him as he had with the Gohan of Trunks’ time, only this time around he was small and not trained enough to spar with. Little Gohan didn’t know how to fight at all and he completely depended on him. He would start to cry when he thought he lost Goku and smile when he held him up high. His little tail would swing when they laughed together and Gohan would give the rest of his food to him when he had enough of it, expecting Goku to eat it too. Even so young, he was sharp enough to say “please” and “thank you” without being told, but curious and clumsy enough to fall onto his face when he ran too fast with his little legs. But Goku is watching closely and quick to act to soothe him. 

Gohan even made an effort to include you in their activities when you chose to let them enjoy themselves. He came with such kindness and generosity to you once he warmed up to you. “Oh! By the way, thank you for saving me Miss (y/n). A-And I’m sorry for pulling your tail.” He expressed himself eloquently and bowed to you out of gratitude. As expected of Goku’s son. Who could stay mad about such a thing when that bright little smile faced you? You had put the act behind you almost as soon as it happened, but that charming Gohan wanted to make sure you knew he meant nothing ill for doing it. His smile infected you and you nodded at him. “Don’t worry about it, Gohan. But maaaybeee I owe you a little payback!” You playfully growled at him and he took off running with a loud laugh, you chasing close behind him pretending to make grabs at him.

“No please, don’t pull my tail!” He giggled, moving in a zig-zag pattern to try to throw you off. It was when you grabbed his sides and lifted him up that he let out a shriek, following an even louder burst of laughs at you tickling his sides.

Goku watching the two of you now, engaged in the idea of how his life would be had he actually been Gohan’s dad. Training the little one the way his Grandpa trained him and even Master Roshi. Sharing the same adventures he gets to take with you and watching him grow stronger with each battle he faces. Goku could sense the strength nesting inside the small boy, the thought of helping him find it within himself and bring it out to achieve a new level was a thrill he couldn’t wait for. Though, he was reminded that this was temporary. He wouldn’t be the one to see that power grow into something amazing. He could only take comfort in knowing one day it will.

 Sending Gohan back was going to be difficult for both of them, it seemed. 

The tour winds down with a last visit to the beach area meant to imitate Master Roshi’s island. Goku was internally preparing himself to let go of Gohan so he could continue to live the life he was supposed to, continuing to keep him close in the meantime. Gohan sat in his lap with an ice cream cone as they watch the waves push and pull the sands and chatted about everything they could with the time they had left. Goku was rightfully surprised to learn Gohan wanted to be a scholar instead of a fighter at his young age. Hearing his mother encouraged it for him, he knew there was no way of changing that. He was already well aware of how the other versions of him married the Ox Princess. Being a scholar seemed to make Gohan happy enough, so he was happy with the idea too. None more than he knew the pleasure and freedom in doing the things you set your heart to. He hopes Gohan will fulfill that wish for himself. In the silence that set in, Goku barely noticed Gohan starting to drift off until the cold ice cream brushed his arm. He took it in his hand and tucked Gohan under his other arm so he can rest more comfortably, smiling at the way he settled against him.

“Hey.” You walked up behind him, “It’s about that time.”

Goku nodded silently. Gohan, not quite asleep, hears you and stared up at the two of you. You could see some worry start to come back. The three of you return to the Time Nest where Supreme Kai of Time and Trunks are waiting. The scrolls are all lined up on the table with a gap between them, one scroll in her small hands meant for Gohan. 

He may have been exhausted from an eventful day, but Goku could feel his small hands clinging to his gi again. You look to him as well and place your hand on Gohan’s head, brushing down his hair a little.

 “Don’t worry. You’ll see your dad again.” You smiled to him. “We did have a lot of fun with you today. But we do want you to see your mom again, too.”

“You’re coming too, aren’t you daddy?” The worn out Gohan asks, turning his head up under your hand to look at Goku. Goku looks regrettably to the Supreme Kai of Time and then you, lowering his eyes to Gohan and throwing on his brave smile.

“I can’t go with you this time, Gohan.”

“Actually.” You speak up, taking the scroll from Supreme Kai of Time and swapping Gohan’s ice cream in Goku’s hand with it. “I’ll let you handle this one. See you in a bit... Goodbye for now, Gohan.”

“Goodbye Gohan. It was nice seeing you.” Trunks added with a small smile and a wave at him. “And good luck.”

Goku holds the scroll tightly and it envelopes the two in a light, whisking them back into the past. When the light fades, the sky is vibrant orange and the lands beneath it are illuminated by a setting sun. He can sense Piccolo’s energy nearby and knew he would be making his way to Gohan now that his energy signature would become present for him again. 

He sets Gohan down in a grassy area, Gohan letting out a big yawn and rubbing his sleepy eyes. Goku takes a seat beside him as Gohan rolls onto his stomach.

“Ya know, if you get nice and strong I guarantee we’ll meet each other again. You’ll be a brave boy until then, won’t you?” Gohan can only nod his head as he let himself settle with his arms under his head. “Don’t forget to be brave, Gohan. For yourself and your mother.”

“Okay.. I love you, daddy..” He murmurs groggily, another big yawn pulling him to finally sleep. Goku goes to place a hand on Gohan’s head again, letting his warmth linger in his palms for just a moment longer. 

“We love you too, Gohan.” He admits, for himself and the other him. “Your dad is always going to do his best to be by your side. Never be afraid to protect yourself until he finds you...Goodbye, son.“

------

Goku arrives back in the Time Nest with only the scroll in his hand and a weak smile when his eyes find you. He hands the scroll back to Supreme Kai of time and gives her a thumbs up.

“He’s going to be okay.” He nods.

“Of course he will, ‘Daddy’.” You lightly teased, moving to stand at his side and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “He is your son in another lifetime.”

Goku nods again, then looks up thoughtfully, placing a fist under his chin. He then looks back down at you. “Hey (y/n), you can have babies right?” You’re all taken aback by the question, Supreme Kai of Time letting out a snort and giggling behind her hand. Trunks awkwardly laughs as well, scratching at the back of his head. You gather yourself and can only scoff at him, putting on your tough front and folding your arms at your chest.

“Oh what, you spend a day with Gohan and suddenly you want ‘scary face’ babies with me?” You fuss, turning your back to him.

“Sure, why not?” He answered quickly, hopeful and radiating his bright grin. “Then we can have a Gohan, too.”

“I- You- W-We’re not having a baby!”

[sanjuno]

Sanjuno’s Story and Fandom Masterlist

I’m going to pin this list of titles so that people can more easily figure out what they want to vote for each Friday. Anything labelled with Meta, WIP, or Concept can be voted for.

1.    ATTACK ON TITAN

1.1.  Coordinates T by H: Eren’s coordinator abilities allow him to metaphysically bond with other humans, thereby giving everyone in the group the ability to psychically communicate with the rest and also boosting everyone’s healing ability exponentially to be on par with the Titan Shifters. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

2.    BLEACH

2.1. What Happens on Vacation: Crossover with YYH – turns out that Kurosaki Misaki was a senior ferry girl on sabbatical (which translates as living a mortal life unaware of her true nature) and she was late returning to work due to being trapped in Grand Fishers gut. Ichigo and Uryuu are very confused when their “cousin” Kazuma shows up to introduce his new bride to the family. Koenma is just really pissed off by all the paperwork he needs to deal with while cleaning up his father’s mismanaged pet project. Chaptered, WIP - Unposted

3.     CODE GEASS

3.1.  A Code of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Lelouch, his two younger siblings, and Lelouch’s most loyal followers are reincarnated into Westeros. Lelouch proceeds to make it his lifelong mission to drive Cersei into frothing fits and strengthens the Baratheon dynasty to the point that even Tywin is impressed by his grandson’s machinations. Then CC shows up with dragons and Ned Stark starts to think that maybe Robert’s onto something with the “drinking to forget” idea. Meta

3.2.  Abandon Thyself: Post-Zero Requiem Suzaku travels back in time to the scene in the Shinjuku Ghettos when the truck explodes. Given that the people closest to him haven’t actually spoken to Suzaku in years, the origins of Suzaku’s obvious mental instability is hilariously misattributed by various outside PoVs. So when Suzaku hits his knees in front of Lelouch, swearing eternal devotion and vowing to make Lelouch the next emperor nobody panics. (They should really reconsider panicking.) Drabbles, Prompt Fill - Posted

3.3.  The Sun Also Rises: At the moment of his death in the Zero Requiem, Lelouch travels back in time to his childhood body. With only a week to go before Marianne is “assassinated by terrorists” Lelouch sets out to rearrange the board in a way none of the other players will see coming until it’s far too late. Lelouch has been given a second chance to make things right, and Lelouch wouldn’t be Lelouch if he didn’t plan big. This time around, Lelouch plans for his victory to be a bit more obvious. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

4.    DCU

4.1.  Time Enough: Terry McGinnis, his little brother Matt, and their dogs are the only members of their timeline to survive because Bruce Wayne was too old to see any more of his sons die in front of him. So they all got knocked out, shoved into an escape capsule, and ejected from the Batman Beyond timeline before it crumbles. Said time pod crashes into the middle of a Red Hood versus Match throw down, and Terry’s Wayne-inherited charisma is so powerful it allows him to banter his way into good graces of both villains. Jason drags them all off to his lair because every single member of the Batfam hoards orphans. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

5.    DRAGON BALL

5.1.  Saiyajin Pride: Alien biology has a larger impact on characterization that it does in canon. Mirai comes back to the main timeline live in sin with Videl and Gohan. Vegeta and Goku deal with some shit that comes from being the last full-blooded members of their species. Then just as things are settling down… Garlic is an idiot who thinks up a loophole in the “can’t wish people dead” rule and wishes Goku and Vegeta’s families straight out of existence and they end up in an entirely different reality. The only upside is that Vegeta finally gets to kill Frieza. Chaptered, WIP - Unposted

6.    FAIRY TAIL

6.1.  Flight Of Dragons: Future!Lucy misses her target and ends up landing further back in time, during the same year Natsu and the rest of the Dragon Slayer kids were brought to when they were pulled forward in time.  Fairy Tail luck kicks in, and future!Lucy runs into child!Laxus as he escapes from his father after being fed the Lightning Dragon Lacrima. Laxus is handed a Prophecy and runs with it. Children have never needed Fairy Tales to tell them that Dragons exist, but they certainly help. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

6.2.  My Heart Overflows: Juvia and Grey have finally started dating, but the Fairy Tail Mage Guild has some interesting traditions when it comes to proving the validity of a romantic relationship. Oneshot, Prompt fill - Posted

7.    FAMILIAR OF ZERO

7.1.  A Velvet Glove: Crossover with TMNT – Leonardo gets summoned to be Louise’s Familiar. Since all of his brothers are dead, Leo sees no reason not to make the most of this “lifelong bond of magic and spirit” and adopts Louise as his little sister. Halgenkia is not prepared for a Louise Francois le Blanc de la Valliere with ninja training. Henrietta is probably far too gleeful over making her best friend her Spymaster, but it’s not like anyone knows enough about what they’re doing to stop her. Reconquista gets exposed and smashed, and Wardes really should have respected his fiancée more. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

8.    FINAL FANTASY VII

8.1.  A Dirge of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Several members of Avalanche and the Elite Soldiers are reincarnated as the spares and bastards of Westeros’ Great Houses. Given that Rhaenys Targaryen used to be Cid Highwind, the Sack of King’s Landing goes very differently. Meta

8.2.  A Feather’s Weight: Crossover with Naruto – Kakashi and Obito, along with their respective subordinates, are reincarnated in Wutai, and are thus in position to undermine a lot of Hojo’s plans simply by being themselves. Wutai still loses, but by a much smaller margin, and SHIN-RA realizes much too late that Wutai’s “concession” was a trap. Kakashi is a big shiny distraction for Sephiroth, the SOLDIERS revolt, and nobody knows who assassinated President Shinra. Chaptered, WIP - Unposted

8.3.  Antiviral: Woden and Gaia conspire to create antibodies to fight off Jenova’s infection. Cid and Vincent end up bearing the brunt of this decision, get roofied by Divine Intervention, and also end up the Gaian equivalent of demonic werewolves. Also the Planet is transforming all the SOLDIERS into werewolves too, yes, even the dead ones. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

8.4.  For Love Of: Cid Highwind crashes the Tiny Bronco into Lucrecia’s cave, does the metaphysical equivalent of tearing her heart out and eating it to absorb her power, and them proceeds to adopt General Sephiroth as his son because it’s not like anyone can stop him. Cid Highwind does what he wants. Sephiroth does what Mother wants. SHIN-RA soon regrets everything because Cid Highwind is a hell of a lot better at rewriting the social order than Avalanche is. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

8.5.  Hindsight is 20-20: CHAOS decides to rewrite time because they have a massive crush on Cid and they don’t want him to die. CHAOS fumbles the landing and Cid ends up in the body of some weird Lucrecia/Ancient-Cetra-Who-Was-Jenova’s-Host Clone and ends up giving birth to Sephiroth. Things only get worse from there. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

8.6.  Like it Rough: Cid likes Vincent a lot and also has a bit of a kink for scars. Cid walks in on Vincent naked, runs away to hide his raging boner, and Vincent ends up chasing Cid around the airship until he can pin his friend down in the Captain’s bunk because the demons are all drunk on the pheromones. Oneshot - Complete

8.7.  Names of Power: Jenova’s taint getting mixed into the Lifestream has far-reaching consequences, and Avalanche gets tapped to handle the fallout whither they like it or not. Series, WIP - Posted

8.7.1.     Small Packages: The Lifestream meddles in Avalanches lives even after the Planet has been saved. There are clones and ancient powers better off left alone but it’s not like Avalanche ever gets a say in the matter. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

8.7.2.     History Inverted: Jenova isn’t all the way gone and the Planet really doesn’t care if Humanity survives or not as long as the infection is burned away. Aerith shoves the spirits of Avalanche and their children into a new timeline because she doesn’t want to watch their souls get shredded. Avalanche proceeds to mosey along and wreak havoc in the way only they can manage. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

8.8.  To Earn the Sky: Echidna, Mother of Monsters and Heroes, and Jenova, the Calamity From the Skies, are at war. Hojo makes a very big mistake when he uses the Blood of Echidna’s Children in his Revenant Project. Cid Highwind is a good son, and his Mother wants to meet her new Grandchildren. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

9.    FINAL FANTASY XV

9.1.  A Light of Ice and Fire: Crossover with FFVX – Noctis, his Retinue, and the loyal members of the Kingsglaive and Crownsguard are reincarnated into Westeros. Jorah Mormont is Cor Leonis, but Cor Leonis is not Jorah Mormont, and so the Northern Forces are something to fear in Robert’s Rebellion. By the time King Robert visits Winterfell, it will be a very different Northern Kingdom that he finds there. Meta

10. GAME OF THRONES

10.1.               Crossover Fixits to Help Westeros be Less Miserably Doomed: Various casts from other series end up reborn in Westeros and use knowledge from their previous lives to change the Game. Series

10.1.1. An Assemblage of Ice and Fire: Crossover with MCU – Team Iron Man focus, since Tony is reincarnated as Ned Stark. Starks are made of Iron, and Winter is coming. Tony’s genius intellect, knowledge of politics and economics, experience with magic and alternate realities, and the fact that Extremis carried over through his reincarnation and adapted to work with First Man magic means that the Stark siblings who go to the Tourney of Harrenhal are nothing like the canon versions. Rhaegar gets his Stark bride, and he proceeds to regret it for the rest of his life. Meta

10.1.2. A Balance of Ice and Fire: Crossover with SW – Qui-Gon Jinn’s three Padawan Learners and Padme (who got taken in Anakin’s place) are reincarnated as the Tyrell siblings. They proceed to follow the Will of the Force and prepare the Seven Kingdoms to win against the Long Night. Meta

10.1.3. A Code of Ice and Fire: Crossover with CG – Lelouch, his two younger siblings, and Lelouch’s most loyal followers are reincarnated into Westeros. Lelouch proceeds to make it his lifelong mission to drive Cersei into frothing fits and strengthens the Baratheon dynasty to the point that even Tywin is impressed by his grandson’s machinations. Then CC shows up with dragons and Ned Stark starts to think that maybe Robert’s onto something with the “drinking to forget” thing. Meta

10.1.4. A Dirge of Ice and Fire: Crossover with FFVII – Several members of Avalanche and the Elite Soldiers are reincarnated as the spares and bastards of Westeros’ Great Houses. Given that Rhaenys Targaryen used to be Cid Highwind, the Sack of King’s Landing goes very differently. Meta

10.1.5. A Dying Will of Ice and Fire: Crossover with KHR – The Tri-Ni-Sette holders and all those bonded to them are reincarnated into Westeros Noble Houses. Xanxus is born as Robert’s eldest trueborn son and Heir to the Iron Throne, and so all it takes is one look at the Wall to know that there is something to fear on the other side. Tsuna is busy swooning over Arya’s muscles but in-between reciting odes to his amazing betrothed he takes time to tell Nono’s ghost “I told you Xanxus would make the better Heir.” Meta

10.1.6. A Light of Ice and Fire: Crossover with FFVX – Noctis, his Retinue, and the loyal members of the Kingsglaive and Crownsguard are reincarnated into Westeros. Jorah Mormont is Cor Leonis, but Cor Leonis is not Jorah Mormont, and so the Northern Forces are something to fear in Robert’s Rebellion. By the time King Robert visits Winterfell, it will be a very different Northern Kingdom that he finds there. Meta

10.1.7. A Space Between Ice and Fire: Crossover with Naruto WCE – The Konoha Founders and their siblings are reincarnated as Starks and Baratheons and manage to save the Realms of Men while resolving their many and varied issues with one another. Meta

10.1.8. A Transformation of Ice and Fire: Crossover with TFG1 – Most of the Cybertronians who died during Unicron’s Awakening end up reincarnated as dragons (Seekers) and Direwolves (Autobots). The sapience of the animals causes significant changes to outcome of several key canon events. Meta

10.2.              Singing In A Different Key: SI is reborn as Jon Snow, who then precedes to Machiavelli the fuck out of the North in preparation for the coming Long Night and also to screw over the Lannisters. Because fuckthe Lannisters. Meta

10.3.               Wolf At The Door: When Ice takes the head of Eddard Stark, Valeryian magic mixes with the Blood of the First Men. It’s wild, uncontrolled, and Ned ends up as a four year old in Winterfell’s Godswood, staring at his reflection in the water. Eddara Stark, second-born child and first-born daughter of Rikard and Lyarra Stark looks back up at him. Ned, fully believing that this is his punishment for failing his family and best friend the first time around, decides to fix the Realm by fulfilling the Pact of Fire and Ice. The thing about being a woman is that no one ever expects you to be a threat, not even other women. The thing about being the Quiet Wolf is that everyone overlooks you until the moment your teeth sink into their throat. Concept

11. GET BACKERS

11.1.               Holy Days of Yore: Various celebration themed fic that explore Ban’s backstory as the “With Queen’s Grandson” and bring a bit more of that old black magic into the Get Backer’s lifestyle. Series

11.1.1. Lupercalia: Ban gets a magic matchmaker box in the mail and everyone wears their heart on their sleeve for Valentine’s Day. Oneshot - Posted

11.1.2. Oeastre: Ban gets roped into being the master of ceremonies for Maria’s coven and Easter gets interesting. (Everyone makes like bunnies.) Oneshot - Posted

12. GIRL GENIUS

12.1.               The Other Side of the River: One of the Jagermonsters manages to catch wind of Lucrecia’s plans and absconds with Klaus Barry during the confusion caused by the first explosion. This understandably causes some disruption in everyones plans when KB and his nanny run into Agatha during her time with the Circus. WIP - Unposted

12.2.               Threefold Path: Agatha, Gil, and Tarvek get their brains booted back in time during the si vales valeo and decided to run away and join the circus until they’re old enough to take over the world properly. WIP - Unposted

13. GUNDAM WING

13.1.               Mistakes and Misdemeanors: Heero was on blockers for the entire war due to a series of implants, which did no favours to his mental health. When the implants run out Heero gets run over by a hormone train and absolutely nobody knows how to handle that. Chaptered, WIP – Posted (Under Revision)

14. HARRY POTTER

14.1.               Black As His Name: Sirius Back lives! Because the Veil dumps his mind-and-soul into the empty body of his younger self in a world where Walburga Black lost it on her eldest son much earlier in life and Sirius was tortured until he was left brain-dead. Arcturus Black is pissed off over the treatment of one of his Heirs and since Sirius’ magic is still intact, names Sirius the Heir to House Black and proceeds to hold the Heirship over everybody’s heads for spite for as long as Sirius continues to “live”. Everyone in the Black Family is very surprised when the annual shaming ritual disguised as Sirius’ birthday party is crashed. By none other than the birthday boy himself. Sirius rolls with it and becomes a True Black in the most Marauder manner possible. WIP - Unposted

14.2.               Black Hunt Under Bloody Skies: Crossover with KHR – Regulus and Sirius both end up dumped into KHR because Death owes them a favour on its Master’s behalf. Things start to get weird after the Arcobaleno curse is broken. Regulus is actually Skull and Sirius is his Sky and they confuse the entire Mafia so much. WIP - Unposted

15. HOMESTUCK

15.1.               A Jump To The Left Behind: Post game reality has all the races living in a Galactic Republic, and the Troll Ancestors and Human Guardians all need to team up in order to solve the mystery of the planetoid-sized meteor that just barreled into the middle of their busiest spacelane because their names are written all over it. In the process of exploring the meteor they accidently wake up the Players and Sprites. Chaos ensues. Concept

15.2.               Pandora’s Final Gift: A mermaid AU where a Deep Old One gives Eridan (and only Eridan) the memories of his Game Player Self as a lark. Eridan hits the level cap for his current reality, freaks out, saves Sollux’s life, and then absconds as far away from the center of the Empire as he can get. Concept

16. INU YASHA

16.1.              Hunter’s Moon: The standard “Demon Mating Season” idea that draws on the infectious nature of demon energy in the Sengoku Jidai and runs with it. Everyone over the age of eighteen gets some. Kagome gets to go home and take a nap. Chaptered, WIP – Posted (Under Revision)

16.2.              Cry Wolf: Playing straight with the crack concept that Inuyasha and Kouga were betrothed as children. Kagome isn’t in the picture because she got yeeted back to her own time when the Shikon no Tama got purified. Chaptered, WIP – Posted (Under Revision)

17. KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN

17.1.               A Dying Will of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – The Tri-Ni-Sette holders and all those bonded to them are reincarnated into Westeros Noble Houses. Xanxus is born as Robert’s eldest trueborn son and Heir to the Iron Throne, and so all it takes is one look at the Wall to know that there is something to fear on the other side. Tsuna is busy swooning over Arya’s muscles but in-between reciting odes to his amazing betrothed he takes time to tell Nono’s ghost “I told you Xanxus would make the better Heir.” Meta

17.2.               Black Hunt Under Bloody Skies: Crossover with HP – Regulus and Sirius both end up dumped into KHR because Death owes them a favour on its Master’s behalf. Things start to get weird after the Arcobaleno curse is broken. Regulus is actually Skull and Sirius is his Sky and they confuse the entire Mafia so much. WIP - Unposted

17.3.               Burning Salt Water: Crossover with OP – Xanxus gets dumped onto the Oro Jackson during the Pirate King’s last voyage when Nono’s Zero Point goes sideways and he ends up adopted by Rouge and Roger while he heals. After the execution Xanxus ends up raising the ASL trio to take over the Pirate Throne and Ace sets the Moby Dick on fire when Whitebeard kidnaps him. Meta, WIP - Unposted

17.4.               Cat’s Paws: Uri has seen enough Time Travel bullshit to know how it works, and so when Hayato gets himself killed she grabs his soul and flings herself backwards in time because fuck the timeline this is her human and he’s not allowed to abandon her again. The other Box Animals think it’s a great idea and do the same with their humans, and this results in the kind of alternate timeline that gives Byakuran a headache. In other words, Uri creates a timeline where Flame Actives are a lot more Alien than they used to be and now everyone thinks Youkai and other myths are real. Chapters, WIP - Posted

17.5.               Fire Shall Waken: All of Nono’s sons are still alive when the Cradle Affair happens and it results in the entire 10th Generation gathering up their Harmonies, rolling Xanxus into a blanket burrito, and taking off to Japan under assumed names where they proceed to spend the next eight years coddling Tsuna and being spoiled rotten by Nana in return. Meta

17.6.               Gremlins Della Varia: Mammon’s experiments with the Curse have had some odd side effects on the Varia. It all comes out during the Ring Battles and the other Arcobaleno are Judging You, Viper. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

17.7.               Karma, and the Repercussions Thereof: Crossover with Naruto. Legendary Ninja from the Elemental Countries get reincarnated into KHR and proceed to adopt all the Magic Rainbow Fire Children. Nono and Iemitsu suffer. Series, WIP

17.7.1. Karmic Balance: Kakashi and Obito are ninja married from the very start because of metaphysical bonding and some minor haunting during their last lives. Between Ninshu Shinobi needing to be in Clans and Flame Actives needing to be in Harmonies it does not take long before the child stealing begins. Gokudera Kakashi is the best wife and Dokuro Obito repents, repeatedly and often, while also having the time of his second life. Tsuna loves his Kakashi-sensei and wants to be just like him when he grows up. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

17.7.2. Karmic Justice: Madara and his brothers are reborn as Fon’s nephews and do not take kindly to the Arcobaleno curse being put on one of their relatives. The Hibari Clan proceeds to start hunting for the Man in the Iron Man en mass. Madara and his brothers hit Namimori during Nono’s visit and witness the sealing of Tsunayoshi. They don’t take well to this either. Things go worse for Tsuna than they do in canon and Madara hunts down Tobirama because he needs the resurrection to be done perfectly. Tsuna loves his Madara-shishou and wants to be just like him when he grows up. Oneshot - Posted

17.7.2.1.      Karmic Justice – Hubris: Madara comes across Xanxus in the ice while investigating the Vongola and despite Xanxus being a bit older than the usual target for child stealing decides to steal him anyway. After resurrecting Tsuna, Madara and Tobirama’s next project is defrosting Xanxus. Concept

17.7.2.2.      Karmic Justice – Providence: Madara finds Xanxus on the streets while hunting in Italy for the Man in the Iron Mask. Wrath Flame calls to Wrath Flame and Madara instantly adopts the delightfully savage little boy. Then Namimori happens, and Tsuna’s seal gets him temporarily killed, and Xanxus reaches 100-year-vengance-plot levels of overprotective big brother. WIP - Unposted

17.8.               Music of the Spheres: Crossover with SM – Post Stars Usagi and Post Vongola Inheritance Tsuna are cousins who meet for the first time ever only after the Vongola’s enemies kidnap Ikkuko and Shingo. Usagi gets taken into protective custody by her Mafia relatives without being given the chance to say she doesn’t need it. Usagi then proceeds to seduce all the women, charm all the men, and accidently throw Iemitsu out the nearest window every time he’s in the same room she is. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

17.8.1. MotS - Celestial Chorus: Chibiusa’s arrival has Usagi dragging her family to Namimori to prove that Chibiusa isn’t their cousin and things get wildly out of hand. Meta

17.8.2. MotS - Sing In Exaltation: The Shingo from The Sharp Knife Of A Short Life hears the name of his ‘cousin in Namimori’ and immediately begins to meddle. Meta

17.9.               Overlooking the Obvious: They say that to truly know someone you need to walk a mile in their shoes. The adage is proven true rather dramatically when a misappropriated Possession Bullet ends up switching Gokudera and Hibari into each other’s bodies. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

17.10.           Reach For The Sky: Kamen Rider Sora and his team are the protectors of Namimori against the invasion of Youma from the dark dimension. Reborn shows up to tutor the last remaining Vongola Heir and ends up in the middle of a longstanding battle against the Forces of Evil. Does the World Greatest Hitman have what it takes to guide the mysterious masked Rider towards his true strength? Stay tuned to find out! Drabbles, Prompt Fill - Posted

17.11.           When the Nightingale Sings: Sky Flames are Dragons, and when a Sky is Sealed they turn into True Dragons once said Seal breaks. Tsuna has the Best Treasures Ever. Reborn is confused but willing to roll with it. Hayato needs to do all the research. Drabbles, Prompt Fill - Posted

17.12.           Where the Sky Meets the Sea: Crossover with OP – The ASL Trio are reborn as Sawada Tsunayoshi’s younger brothers, and the Will of D means they remember everything. Sawada Iemitsu might once have been Akagami no Shanks and despite lacking his memories knows better than to keep secrets from his wife. (Iemitsu does keep a lot of secrets from Nono, such as the fact that he has more than one son.) Iemitsu redirects Xanxus’ attention to the Family traitors, Nono never meets Tsuna, and nobody gets sealed. Then Reborn shows up, and everything is now on fire. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

17.13.            

18. KYOU KARA MAOU

18.1.              The Needs Of Our Natures: Wolfram decides to prove exactly how much his mother’s son he really is and seduces Yuuri. Wolfram seduces Yuuri like it’s his job. (Yuuri likes it.) WIP - Unposted

19. MARVEL

19.1.               An Assemblage of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Team Iron Man focus, since Tony is reincarnated as Ned Stark. Starks are made of Iron, and Winter is coming. Tony’s genius intellect, knowledge of politics and economics, experience with magic and alternate realities, and the fact that Extremis carried over through his reincarnation and adapted to work with First Man magic means that the Stark siblings who go to the Tourney of Harrenhal are nothing like the canon versions. Rhaegar gets his Stark bride, and he proceeds to regret it for the rest of his life. Meta

19.2.               Iron Laced: Crossover with TMNT – Maria Carbonell was actually Oroku Karai in disguise because she was on vacation from being a member of the Council of Shadows. Karai and all the Turtles accessed magic ninja dragon powers when they took over the Council and Karai-as-Maria passed that down to Tony. So Tony is actually a dragon and an encounter with the Enchantress leaves him locked in his dragon form. WIP - Unposted

19.3.               Miles To Go: Post-MCU Civil War almost-Time Travel where Tony grieves so hard he sends an Extremis injector capsule to the year before the Winter Soldier murdered his parents. Said capsule lands in front of a wasted 15-year-old Tony in the aftermath of a frat party. Cue the face hugger scene. Tony gets an Extremis upgrade about 30 years ahead of schedule and it’s the only reason he survives the memory download without his brain turning into mush. WIP - Unposted

19.4.               Perception: Instead of killing Scott in X3, Dark Phoenix instead fixes the brain damage that prevented him from controlling his optic blasts and then shunts him trough time an space. Scott wakes up 18-years-old in Stryker’s lab and proceeds to hijack Wolverine’s rampage so that they can both escape. James Howlett is impressed, and Cyclops hates everything but especially time travel because it ruins all his fallback plans. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

20. NARUTO

20.1.               A Feather’s Weight: Crossover with FFVII – Kakashi and Obito, along with their respective subordinates, are reincarnated in Wutai, and are thus in position to undermine a lot of Hojo’s plans simply by being themselves. Wutai still loses, but by a much smaller margin, and SHIN-RA realizes much too late that Wutai’s “concession” was a trap. Kakashi is a big shiny distraction for Sephiroth, the SOLDIERS revolt, and nobody knows who assassinated President Shinra. WIP - Unposted

20.2.               A Space Between Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – The Konoha Founders and their siblings are reincarnated as Starks and Baratheons and manage to save the Realms of Men while resolving their many and varied issues with one another. Meta

20.3.               A Widening Gyre: Rin survives the Chidori and her existence is now an S-class secret. Said S-class secret distracts Obito on his way to ambush Kushina’s labour and several different chase scenes take place. They all end up in the ROOT base made from one of Tobirama’s old labs and instead of Kyuubi getting loose Team Ro, the Fourth Hokage’s team of bodyguards, Obito, Anko, and all of ROOT plus Danzo himself get dumped into the Warring Clans Era. Obito kills Danzo in a panic when he realizes that taking the Bijuu means killing Rin, Kakashi sacrifices himself again, and there is a lot more running around. Kakashi suborns ROOT en masse, Obito is stupidly overpowered and homicidal but it’s okay because Kakashi is playing damsel in distress and distracting him. The Senju and the Uchiha are all really confused by these kids, there are far too many mistaken identities, and Konoha gets founded much earlier than in canon. Meta

20.4.               According to Custom: Hashirama and Madara should not be left unsupervised (that’s why Mito and Touka tend to lurk nearby when they have tea together) because it causes them to get Brilliant Ideas. This time they decide to make friends with one another’s little brothers. How Madara went from being “nice” to Tobirama to courting the oblivious younger Senju is still something of a mystery, but there are several bets riding on when Tobirama is going to realize what’s going on. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.5.               Around the River Bend: Tobirama feels Itama die and runs to the river to mourn. Quite predictably he meets Madara there, and the course of History changes. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.6.               Colours and Promises: Set a decade after the Evil has been defeated and life returned to normal, Tobirama (once the magical superhero Dragon) is still living with the side effects of sacrificing everything to save the world while he was still a teenager. Notes on a piano, and a familiar voice singing a familiar song. Tobirama finds Madara (once the magical superhero Phoenix) and finally gets to enjoy his victory. Love can be killed, but it never dies, only ever taking on new shapes as we move on with our lives. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.7.               Dare Not Speak Its Name: Madara is Demi as all get out aka Madara’s a virgin with a shy dick. Also known as the AU where Madara proposes marriage to Tobirama for the sake of peace and the children. The only reason Izuna approves is because the thought of Tobirama suffering a lifetime of blueballs is hilarious to him. Meta

20.8.               Heavy as the Mountain: Team 7 is losing the fight against Kaguya, but Obito and Kakashi perform a last-minute sacrifice that means the kids survive. It also causes them all to be de-aged by over a decade and thrown back in time to the Warring Clans Era. Kakashi and Obito die, Team 7 gets adopted by presumably-Hatake Kanna, then a few years later they run into Uchiha Izuna and it all descends into chaos. (Team 7 takes total advantage of everything to get their revenge on Zetsu and maybe fix some of Konoha’s longstanding issues at the same time.)  Oneshot, Prompt Fill – Posted

20.8.1. Crumble To The Sea: The adventures of time travelling Team 7 as they get adopted by the Uchiha Clan, arrange to make Izuna’s life miserable until he proves worthy of courting their An-chan, and get aggressively mother-henned by Uchiha Madara. (The last one came as a bit of a surprise.) Kurama ends up adopting the Uchiha Clan because he likes frustrating Zetsu, and Team 7 appreciates the extra time to grow taller before they need to go weed whacking. Concept

20.9.               In Konoha We Dance: The Uchiha Clan has a tradition of belly dancing and it fixes everything that was wrong with Konoha in canon. Series

20.9.1. O-Bon Appetite: Thanks to his dance training Izuna manages the core control to dodge Tobirama’s sword enough to avoid a fatal wound and Konoha starts off on more equal footing. Tobirama then walks into a traditional Uchiha celebration and his brain shuts off. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.9.2. Hot Like Burning: Kushina drags Minato to the Uchiha Police Office Party so she can make time with Mikoto and there is so much skin, Minato was not emotionally prepared for this. Fugaku takes advantage of the Yondaime’s weakness as only an Uchiha can and the glorious ‘ship FuMiKuMi sets sail. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.9.3. Got This Fire Burning: Overnight shifts at the Mission Desk gets boring. Konoha ninja like to dance, because dancing isn’t boring. Kakashi shows them all how it’s done when a member of Team 7 hits it. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.10.           Karma, and the Repercussions Thereof: Crossover with KHR – Legendary Ninja from the Elemental Countries get reincarnated into KHR and proceed to adopt all the Magic Rainbow Fire Children. Nono and Iemitsu suffer. Series - WIP

20.10.1.                Karmic Balance: Kakashi and Obito are ninja married from the very start because of metaphysical bonding and some minor haunting during their last lives. Between Ninshu Shinobi needing to be in Clans and Flame Actives needing to be in Harmonies it does not take long before the child stealing begins. Gokudera Kakashi is the best wife and Dokuro Obito repents, repeatedly and often, while also having the time of his second life. Tsuna loves his Kakashi-sensei and wants to be just like him when he grows up. WIP, Chaptered - Posted

20.10.2.                Karmic Justice: Madara and his brothers are reborn as Fon’s nephews and do not take kindly to the Arcobaleno curse being put on one of their relatives. The Hibari Clan proceeds to start hunting for the Man in the Iron Man en mass. Madara and his brothers hit Namimori during Nono’s visit and witness the sealing of Tsunayoshi. They don’t take well to this either. Things go worse for Tsuna than they do in canon and Madara hunts down Tobirama because he needs the resurrection to be done perfectly. Tsuna loves his Madara-shishou and wants to be just like him when he grows up. Oneshot - Posted

20.10.2.1.  Karmic Justice – Hubris: Madara comes across Xanxus in the ice while investigating the Vongola and despite Xanxus being a bit older than the usual target for child stealing decides to steal him anyway. After resurrecting Tsuna, Madara and Tobirama’s next project is defrosting Xanxus. Concept

20.10.2.2.  Karmic Justice – Providence: Madara finds Xanxus on the streets while hunting in Italy for the Man in the Iron Mask. Wrath Flame calls to Wrath Flame and Madara instantly adopts the delightfully savage little boy. Then Namimori happens, and Tsuna’s seal gets him temporarily killed, and Xanxus reaches 100-year-Xanatos-Gambit-vengance-plot levels of overprotective big brother. WIP - Unposted

20.11.           Look the Innocent Flower: Orochimaru gets the Hat instead of Minato because instead of working for Danzo he creates his Baby-no-Jutsu (the same one that produced Rogu and Mitsuki) and that’s how Orochimaru accidently turns Tenzo into the Orochimaru-and-Tsunade lovechild while field testing some gene-splicing adoption techniques. Sarutobi is so delighted by all the babies he names Orochimaru his successor without any further debate. Konoha proceeds to become a somewhat androgynous, gender-fluid utopia full off affectionate, friendly people who only want you for your body. Orochimaru refuses to allow hypocrisy in his Konoha and loyalty to ones comrades is not only encouraged, it’s enforced. Meta

20.12.           Negotiation is an Artform: Remix of The Art of Negotiation by Kage88 – Konoha’s Founders take a trip to Uzushio and the Uzumaki are annoyingly persistent in their attentions, even when said attentions are unwanted. Tobirama’s political savvy is not to be underestimated, and Tobirama’s just as ridiculously overprotective of his loved ones as his relatives are of him. Bitchy pining resolves into dating, and the only reason Tobirama lets Hashirama get away with betting on his love life is because Hashirama was the only one who had faith in Tobirama making the first move. Oneshot, Fandom Exchange Fill - Complete

20.13.           No Evil Abolishing Resentment System: Post Kaguya’s return, Madara gets bound by a System determined to help Madara turn all his Resentment Level into Love Points via a quick transmigration plot. Transmigrator!Madara gets to kiss-kiss fall in love with Reincarnator!Tobirama 55 times in a row. I promise that all the gratuitous makeout sessions are plot relevant. Meta

20.14.           Only Fools Rush In: Also known as the Uchiha Get Catnipped AU – the scene of Rin’s suicide is a few seconds off from canon and this not only results in Rin remaining alive, but Obito is also welcomed back to life so enthusiastically by his teammates that his Makengyou spontaneously manifests. A year or so later, Danzo attempts to use an experimental drug to weaken the Uchiha Clan enough for ROOT to have an easy time killing them and/or an excuse for eradicating the entire Clan. Only the drug is a happy-making drug that has every single member of the Clan manifest the Makengyou and immediately run off to snuggle their friends, family, and sundry other precious people. Meta

20.15.           Red in Hand and Claw: Madara has Raptor Summons. This fact is significantly more terrifying than anyone outside of the Uchiha Clan is really aware of. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.16.           Roads Diverged: Kakashi from a Darker-Than-Canon AU ends his fight with Obito with mutual destruction, and as they both lay dying Kakashi confesses to having always loved Obito. Obito being Obito and therefore unholy levels of Extra even for an Uchiha, proceeds to use Edo Tensai on Team 7 in order to heal Kakashi and then fling him through dimensions until he lands in a Lighter-Than-Canon AU where Kakashi sees Rin in time to avoid hitting her with the Chidori. Things spiral from there. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

20.17.           Spite And Fury: A crossover with the “Original Goods” Proud Immortal Demon Way from Scum Villains Self-Saving System – Uchiha Madara and Shen Jiu get combined into a single person and Cang Qiong is not ready for this much concentrated asshole. Too bad for them, the new-and-improved Shen Qingqui is here to stay. Meta

20.18.           That We Answer to Our Stars: Crossover with SW – Kaguya’s reality warp has some strange side effects to the point of ridiculousness. All the Uchiha to ever exist are resurrected and then dumped wholesale onto an alien deathworld that is essentially what Training Ground 44 would be if it was allowed to cover an entire planet. The Uchiha proceed to seduce the Jedi and foil all of Palpatine’s plans for galactic domination. Meta, Chaptered WIP - Posted

20.19.           The Memory Remains: Canon divergence via the reincarnation of Uchiha Izuna, his wife Kanna, and Senju Touka as Uchiha Obito, Hatake Kakashi, and Nohara Rin. Yes, they retained all their memories. Yes, Konoha is going to suffer for its sins against the children. Yes, this is going to end in a Team Minato threesome. Meta

20.20.           The Thin Line: Kakashi loses patience with the Sandaime when no appreciable action is taken to remove Danzo from power even after Kakashi literally reports to Sarutobi’s face that he was ordered by Danzo to assassinate the Third Hokage. So Kakashi crashes an Uchiha Clan meeting and asks them to run away with him and his cute little brothers to a lovely tropical Island. Cue the Uchiha Exodus That Fucks Over Canon. Kakashi and the Uchiha Clan proceed to re-found Uzushio and collect a few S-class missing nin along the way. Meta, WIP - Unposted

20.21.           The Waters and the Wild: The Senju are High Court Fae, and the Uchiha are Wild Hunt Shapeshifters. Tobirama attempts to interrupt Hashirama and Madara during their riverside meeting, only it backfires when he realizes that Madara is his Soulmate. Also the Uchiha are “clothing optional” and Tobirama was not emotionally prepared for this. Oneshot, Prompt Fill – Posted

20.22.           To Linger In Dreams: After Kaguya takes over his body Madara gets yeeted out of reality into the Void. An eldritch Void god takes an interest in Madara and chucks Madara into a Magic Fantasy AU and Madara is even more not-Human than he was before. Also known as that really fucked up AU with cursed ABO dynamics. Meta

20.23.           Truth in Hyperbole: Shinobi are what happen when Aliens and Humans have kids, Bloodline Talents are what happens when Kami and Youkai ancestry gets added to the pot. Most of the time Shinobi stay mostly Human. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they really don’t. Series - WIP

20.23.1.                Blood Price: Tobirama wakes up after being killed and proceeds to resurrect his little brothers and Madara’s little brothers. Tobirama would resurrect Madara too but Madara had already managed to resurrect himself. Oneshot, Comm. Fill - Posted

20.23.2.                Still Waters Run: The Sage of Six Paths gets his ass kicked by his ex-wife, his daughter-in-law, and Tobirama’s mother. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.23.3.                A Thing With Feathers: Madara’s side of the story of their transformation into minor kami. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.23.4.                Come Away: Zetsu is targeting Obito in another attempt to create the Rinnegan. Kakashi has his first “near death” experience and Obito is not amused at all. Neither is Rin. Team 7 is overprotective and codependent regardless of the generation in question. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.23.5.                Quoth the Raven: Danzo’s schemes got him chased out of Konoha to escape execution, and he invades during the Chunin Exams in order to get his revenge. Summoning Tobirama using the Edo Tensai was probably not the best plan. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.24.           Tsukumogami No Kankurou: While he is still very young, Kankurou signs a Summons contract with the Tsukumogami (aka the Muppet Theater Troupe) and then proceeds to interrupt Yashamaru’s “attack” on Gaara while simultaneously wreaking havoc across the entirety of Sunagakure. All of this is done to get back at Rasa for not letting Kankurou play with his baby brother. The Middle Child Syndrome is strong in this one. Never underestimate the power of petty spite. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.25.           Twice is Happenstance: As a side effect of the battle against Kaguya breaking through dimensions, the ghosts of the Uchiha Clan send their memories as far back as possible. On the eve of his younger brother’s assassinations, Uchiha Madara wakes up with memories of being Indra and Sasuke. All the Uchiha have memories of their past and future lives combining with their current selves, and it causes something of a fracas while it gets sorted out. Cue the Uchiha Exodus That Fucks Over Canon. Oneshot - Posted

20.25.1.                Enemy Action: The building of Uchihatlantis, the knockback effects of remembering more than one lifetime, and what happens when the Uchiha start to go back out into the world in order to hunt down their spouses and mess up Zetsu’s plans. Meta

20.26.           Two Steps Back: Retired Rokudaime Hatake Kakashi accidently has his first vacation ever interrupted when he visits the Uzushiogakure ruins and gets slingshot back an incarnation or two due to triggering a derelict seal. Kakashi being Kakashi, he proceeds to continue with his vacation until he has a drunken bar hookup with Uchiha Izuna and now the beloved younger brother of Uchiha “I-can-fight-five-armies-and-win” Madara is stalking Kakashi in order to recite (hilariously awful) poetry about the beauty of Kakashi’s kenjutsu. This is not the retirement Kakashi signed up for. Drabbles, Prompt Fills – Posted

20.26.1.     TSB – And a Jump To The Left: The epic courtship confusion which descends upon the Land of Fire when the Time-Travelling King of Trolls and an Angry Weasel Brat attempt to out-romance each other. Meta

20.27.           Two Truths and a Lie: Mikoto and Kushina have been fake!dating for years to keep the more annoying Uchiha relatives from trying to get her married off. It’s a brilliant plan, and it works perfectly. But times change, and Kushina’s eyes are very pretty. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.28.           Wills of Fire and Conquest: Crossover with OP – Kakashi is Rouge’s little brother and ends up raising the ASL trio while also searching for other reincarnated shinobi. Obito and the rest of Akatsuki become the Red Dawn Pirates and Kakashi eventually founds a new Uzushiogakure on the Red Line. Ace decides he wants to be the Nidaime Uzukage, and Whitebeard accidently insults Ace’s mother so badly during the “recruitment” debacle that Ace spends 100 days trying to beat an apology out of the arrogant old goat. Shinobi-versus-pirate culture clash is frequent and hilarious. WIP - Unposted

20.29.           Worth of a Thousand Words: Political Hostage!Tobirama gets caught by the Uchiha just before he manages to use Hiraishin in battle for the first time. The Uchiha are all sensors that use Ninshu techniques otherwise since lost to time to communicate among themselves. This results in a much more united Uchiha Clan who are perfectly willing to let Madara push for a peace treaty with the Senju now that Tobirama’s capture has given them the leverage to do so. Meta

21. NURARIHYON NO MAGO

21.1.               1001 Demonic Nights: An AU Rikuo who was dragged into Yomi along with his Hakkai Yakko during the battle against the Nue manages to escape from hell by jumping into an alternate reality where his mother Wakana had a threesome with Rihan and Otome. Wakana left to take over her family shrine without telling her lovers that she was pregnant. The Rikuo who was born as a result died as an infant from the Nue’s curse on Nurarihyon’s bloodline. Both Rikuo and Otome’s daughter were conceived on the same night and are both half-demons due to Rihan shifting forms for kinky species-play. WIP - Unposted

22. ONE PIECE

22.1.               Burning Salt Water: Crossover with KHR – Xanxus gets dumped onto the Oro Jackson during the Pirate King’s last voyage when Nono’s Zero Point goes sideways and he ends up adopted by Rouge and Roger while he heals. After the execution Xanxus ends up raising the ASL trio to take over the Pirate Throne and Ace sets the Moby Dick on fire when Whitebeard kidnaps him. WIP – Unposted

22.2.               How Far I’ll Go: Roger had other lovers before he met Rouge and one of them was a Fishwife that he met at a Peacemoot. Their daughter was a mermaid and thus needed to remain on Fishman Island for her own safety. The World Government is so Human-centric that they don’t bother looking into any of Roger’s lady friends from the other races. Gol D Ann gives no shits about anybodies prejudices and when her mixed up genetics mean her feet come in about 20 years early she immediately takes off to track down her baby brother. Goldfish is Luffy’s favourite sibling and Ann is delighted to find three baby brothers for the price of one. WIP - Unposted

22.3.               Rumour, Slander, Hearsay: Garp is even worse at interpersonal communication than in canon and now the entire Marine fleet thinks that Monkey D Dragon is an oversexed degenerate who keep dumping his illegitimate spawn on his poor heroic father’s doorstep. Otherwise known as Dragon adopts ASL and they seek a glorious Revolution. Meta

22.4.               Those Who Favour Fire: Ace survives Marineford, even if only in spirit, because the Goddess of the Sea answered the prayer of another version of Ace. Waking up in the place of his 17-year-old murdered doppelganger, Ace now has to deal with raising a 7-year-old Luffy and escaping the notice of the Marines. Oh, and his murdered younger self is hanging around as a ghost, all the younger versions of Luffy’s crewmates keep showing up on Ace’s boat, and Ace keeps getting tripped up over how much more horrible this world is compared to the one he came from. Chaptered WIP - Posted

22.5.               Where the Sky Meets the Sea: Crossover with KHR – The ASL Trio are reborn as Sawada Tsunayoshi’s younger brothers, and the Will of D means they remember everything. Sawada Iemitsu might once have been Akagami no Shanks and despite lacking his memories knows better than to keep secrets from his wife. (Iemitsu does keep a lot of secrets from Nono, such as the fact that he has more than one son.) Iemitsu redirects Xanxus’ attention to the Family traitors, Nono never meets Tsuna, and nobody gets sealed. Then Reborn shows up, and everything is now on fire. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

22.6.               Wildfire Hearts: Ace goes back in time from his death to the Grey Terminal Fire, figures out how to use natural fire to heal himself, saves child!Ace and child!Luffy, changes his name to Portgas D Riot, runs away to the Grand Line with his baby brothers, puts together a new pirate crew, and hits on Marco so hard the Phoenix forgets how to complete his sentences. Everything works out for the better. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

22.6.1. WH – Heave A Sigh And A Wish For Me: SI-Clearfin Lionfish Mermaid named Occhio D Vittoria gets tapped in by the Ocean Goddess to help Riot et al from Wildfire Hearts succeed in their adventures.Oneshot, Prompt Fill – Posted

22.6.2. WH – Today Is The Day Of Reckoning: Riot is gathering up his new crew, forming the Anarchy Pirates, dealing with Garp, seducing Marco the Pheonix, and discovering that Sabo survived when his little brothers gatecrash a Revolutionary Army mission. Meta

22.7.               Wills of Fire and Conquest: Crossover with Naruto – Kakashi is Rouge’s little brother and ends up raising the ASL trio while also searching for other reincarnated shinobi. Obito and the rest of Akatsuki become the Red Dawn Pirates and Kakashi eventually founds a new Uzushio on the Red Line. Ace decides he wants to be the Nidaime Uzukage, and Whitebeard accidently insults Ace’s mother so badly during the “recruitment” debacle that Ace spends 100 days trying to beat an apology out of the arrogant old goat. Shinobi-versus-pirate culture clash is frequent and hilarious. WIP - Unposted

23. PETSHOP OF HORRORS

23.1.               Event Horizons: Leon isn’t human, and that changes things in the aftermath of the confrontation with Papa D. Count D wants to unravel the mystery of his favourite Detective, and Leon is starting to wake up. Hopefully they both find the knowledge they’re looking for before it’s too late and their enemy finds them. Chaptered WIP – Posted (Under Revision)

24. POKÉMON

24.1.              The Hero Of His Own Story: When Green Oak is replaced as the Kanto Champion less than a full 24 hours after winning the title, he runs. Right into a Celebi that was looking for an assistant. Green Oak gets over his bullshit really fast because oh shit that’s an Angry Legendary. Green is also supremely unimpressedwith Red’s bullshit when he learns that Red was supposed to be dealing with all the world-saving events but is instead hiding in a depression cave. Meta

25. SAILOR MOON

25.1.               From Olympus to Mu: The Senshi go to college and Mamoru reunites with the Shitennou. Basis of headcanons and characterization for any further post-canon SM fic. WIP - Unposted

25.2.               Music of the Spheres: Crossover with KHR – Post Stars Usagi and Post Vongola Inheritance Tsuna are cousins who meet for the first time ever only after the Vongola’s enemies kidnap Ikkuko and Shingo. Usagi gets taken into protective custody by her Mafia relatives without being given the chance to say she doesn’t need it. Usagi then proceeds to seduce all the women, charm all the men, and accidently throw Iemitsu out the nearest window every time he’s in the same room she is. Chaptered WIP - Posted

25.2.1. MotS – Celestial Chorus – MotS Spinoff AU: Chibiusa’s arrival has Usagi dragging her family to Namimori to prove that Chibiusa isn’t their cousin and things get wildly out of hand. Meta

25.2.2. MotS – Sing In Exaltation: The Shingo from The Sharp Knife Of A Short Life hears the name of his ‘cousin in Namimori’ and immediately begins to meddle. Meta

25.3.               The Sharp Knife Of A Short Life: SI is reborn as Tsukino Shingo under the aegis of the Roman God Janus and then proceeds to merrily say ‘screw canon, my sister gets to be happy or else’. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

26. SCUM VILLAINS SELF-SAVING SYSTEM

26.1.               Spite And Fury: A crossover with Naruto and the “Original Goods” Proud Immortal Demon Way from Scum Villains Self-Saving System – Uchiha Madara and Shen Jiu get combined into a single person and Cang Qiong is not ready for this much concentrated asshole. Too bad for them, the new-and-improved Shen Qingqui is here to stay. Meta

27. SLAYERS

27.1.               Infinite Blue: Zelgadis starts paying more attention to the deeper practices of Shamanism and gets in touch with his demonic side while achieving deeper harmony in himself. Xellos approves and it all results in magic explosions and very strange demonic courtship rituals. WIP - Unposted

28. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

28.1.               Skipped Tracks: The triplets from Underground end up transmigrating into the recently deceased bodies of their counterparts in a SatAM reality and proceed to rock out and confuse everyone. WIP - Unposted

29. STAR WARS

29.1.               A Balance of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Qui-Gon Jinn’s three Padawan Learners and Padme (who got taken in Anakin’s place) are reincarnated as the Tyrell siblings. They proceed to follow the Will of the Force and prepare the Seven Kingdoms to win against the Long Night. Meta

29.2.               A Robe of Stars: Crossover with TMNT – The turtles and Karai help Obi-wan save the Initiates and babies in the Jedi crèche before the Temple gets razed. Once the children are safe, Obi-wan and his new allies turn their attention to saving the Vode. WIP – Unposted

29.3.               That We Answer to Our Stars: Crossover with Naruto – Kaguya’s reality warp has some strange side effects to the point of ridiculousness. All the Uchiha to ever exist are resurrected and then dumped wholesale onto an alien deathworld that is essentially what Training Ground 44 would be if it hadn’t been fenced in. The Uchiha proceed to seduce the Jedi and foil all of Palpatine’s plans for galactic domination. Meta, Chaptered WIP – Posted

30. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

30.1.               A Robe of Stars: Crossover with SW – The turtles and Karai help Obi-wan save the Initiates and babies in the Jedi crèche before the Temple gets razed. Once the children are safe, Obi-wan and his new allies turn their attention to saving the Vode. WIP - Unposted

30.2.               A Velvet Glove: Crossover with FOZ – Leonardo gets summoned to be Louise’s Familiar. Since all of his brothers are dead, Leo sees no reason not to make the most of this “lifelong bond of magic and spirit” and adopts Louise as his little sister. Halgenkia is not prepared for a Louise Francois le Blanc de la Valliere with ninja training. Henrietta is probably far too gleeful over making her best friend her Spymaster, but it’s not like anyone knows enough about what they’re doing to stop her. Reconquista gets exposed and smashed, and Wardes really should have respected his fiancée more. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

30.3.               Iron Laced: Crossover with TMNT – Maria Carbonell was actually Oroku Karai in disguise because she was on vacation from being a member of the Council of Shadows. Karai and all the Turtles accessed magic ninja dragon powers when they took over the Council and Karai-as-Maria passed that down to Tony. So Tony is actually a dragon and an encounter with the Enchantress leaves him locked in his dragon form. WIP - Unposted

30.4.               Paper Flowers: Leonardo and Michelangelo reconnect after years of separation and deal with some leftover issues from their childhood while they prepare to welcome the next generation of Ninja Turtles into the world. WIP - Unposted

30.5.               Patching the Trousers: Starting from the end of the Fast Forward arc, Leonardo gets lost in the multiverse and proceeds to adopt all the secondary turtles. All of them. Leonardo is the Mom Friend, only he’s not a friend he’s just a Mom. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

30.6.               Stained Bandages: Realistic resolution to the most common dark!Splinter tropes. Leo doesn’t really care about himself, but if you touch his brothers he will kill you. Splinter touches Raphael. Karai is gifted with Splinter’s decapitated head in a box. Oneshot- Posted

30.7.               Unraveled Sleeves: After First Contact and Splinter’s death from old age, the Turtles scattered to live their lives. Leonardo is the only one who stayed in the Lair. Making peace with the Karai was only the first step towards healing, and Leo makes peace with himself as he takes on students and his family grows again. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

31. TRANSFORMERS

31.1.               A Transformation of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Most of the Cybertronians who died during Unicron’s Awakening end up reincarnated as dragons (Seekers) and Direwolves (Autobots). The sapience of the animals causes significant changes to outcome of several key canon events. Meta

31.2.              Action Equals Reaction: There is a time and a place for everything. Even things like learning that your Air Commander is pregnant, and his parents are wingnuts. The middle of battle is neither the time nor the place. Oneshot - Posted

31.3.               Compromising Positions: Bay’verse Shattered Glass – Megatron knows that there’s something wrong with his brother, but nobody will listen to him. Oneshot - Posted

31.4.               High Stakes Wagers: Decepticon Romantic Gestures at their finest. Series

31.4.1. The Bet: Soundwave saves Starscream’s life after he gets blasted away from Unicron and they proceed to have wild, kinky spark-bonding and that’s it that’s the plot. Oneshot - Posted

31.4.2. The Rebirth: Starscream and Soundwave head off Galvatron and Zarak’s attempt to destroy Cybertron (and Earth, but that’s really secondary to them) and earn their just rewards for being on the winning side. Oneshot - Posted

31.5.               Nine Rings of Vos: The Epic Seeker Saga where Starscream is the uncontested leader of the Seekers and he’s using the Great War as a cover to renew his people’s population numbers, add some variety to their core coding, and also destroy the Cybertronian Government because they liked to make Seekers into their slaves. Seven-part Series, Chaptered, WIP - Posted

31.5.1. Before Dawn: A Rings spin-off where the Seekers are actually all sparklings who disguised themselves as their parents in order to survive the Great War. Crash-landing on Earth precipitates the Big Reveal and also the actual adult Seekers get woken from Government sanctioned stasis thanks to the energy surges caused by resource shipments coming in from Earth. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

31.6.               No Evil: Starscream is a scientist who wants to stay a scientist but he’s so damn good at being Air Commander that he gets promoted anyway. Also, his best friend/roommate from the War Academy is the closest thing to a therapist that the Decepticons have and that means Starscream stays mostly sane. Concept, WIP - Unposted

31.7.               Thundercracker’s So Crazy in Love: Seekers Go Into Heat and that will put the War on pause for a bit because of the crazy. Series

31.7.1. Always the Quiet Ones: Thundercracker terrorizes the Decepticon forces on Earth while displaying for his Wingmates and accidently kills Megatron. Oneshot - Posted

31.7.2. Decepticon Service Announcement: Thundercracker is the new Supreme Leader of the Decepticons and he’s decided that they’re in a good position to negotiate peace terms with the Autobots now. Oneshot - Posted

32. YU-GI-OH

32.1.               Old Game, New Rules: Sentinels and Guides are a built in part of society and a certain playing card game ties into that a bit more than most people would expect. There’s a lot of gratuitous soul-bonding smut, worldbuilding runs rampant, and there’s a lot of social commentary on the futility of stereotyping any portion of the population based on a single point of commonality. Chaptered WIP – Unposted

32.2.               The Future of the Past: Jounouchi’s past life left a surprise in their soul that the trip to memory world triggers and now Katsuya is living through all of Jono’s memories. Chaptered WIP – Posted (Under Revision)

33. YU YU HAKUSHO

33.1.              Bonds: Koenma and Yusuke are soulmates and Enma Daioh interferes because one his brat son is properly wedded and bedded Enma can take a long overdue vacation. Oneshot – Posted

33.1.1.                  Ties That Bind: Koenma and Yusuke are just starting to get used to being bonded mates when a new/old-and-forgotten enemy shows up to complicate things. WIP – Unposted (Under Revision)

33.2.              What Happens on Vacation: Crossover with Bleach – turns out that Kurosaki Misaki was a senior ferry girl on sabbatical (which translates as living a mortal life unaware of her true nature) and she was late returning to work due to being trapped in Grand Fishers gut. Ichigo and Uryuu are very confused when their “cousin” Kazuma shows up to introduce his new bride to the family. Koenma is just really pissed off by all the paperwork he needs to deal with while cleaning up his father’s mismanaged pet project. Chaptered WIP - Unposted

[zombryz]

Could you do a Vegeta x Reader where the reader is short & petite like 4’11 but has an attitude 🥺

Or

Trunks x reader where trunks is taking care of reader who has like a cold or something

Hi Anon! Your wish is my command, please enjoy 😉

“Could you do a Vegeta x Reader where the reader is short & petite like 4’11 but has an attitude 🥺”

(I apologize in advance for the layout. Next time I’ll copy from my computer… tumblr mobile must hate me lol)

P.s. I’ll also write the trunks request on another post so be on the lookout for that (-:

~

“Ugh! That’s not it.” You huffed as you threw a random toaster out of your way. With a loud sigh and a scratch of your head you thought “where could they possibly be?” You were becoming very frustrated in your search.

Bulma had given you a task to find some old blue prints from a project she worked on many years ago. She sent you to a storage room filled with piles of junk and had promised that they’d be in there. You often wondered how she remembered exactly where stuff was and why she wouldn’t get it herself if that was the case. After working for Capsule Corp for 3 years, she began to trust you with more and more information. You’ll never forget when she introduced you to Vegeta and Goku, two of her friends who happened to be saiyans. Over the years you became a very loyal assistant and she would give you small projects to work on on your own. She even taught you how to work the gravity chamber and make repairs if needed. Repairs were needed often for Vegeta and Goku after an angry training session. Goku was super fun to be around and became one of your close friends. He was so silly and could make you laugh at any moment. Vegeta on the other hand was more rough around the edges and overall hard to get along with. You tried to be friendly towards him for Bulma’s sake but you found yourself rolling your eyes around him all the time.

You looked down at the layout of the storage room that was sloppily drawn out by Bulma. In that moment you realized you were holding it upside down.

With a face palm you excitedly said, “Ahhh, okay now we’re getting somewhere!” You looked up in the corner of the room and saw the blueprints under a few storage bins on the very top shelf. Shoot! How were you supposed to get up there? You looked down at your feet confirming how short you actually were. You were about 4’11 and pretty tiny. The last thing you want to do is ask someone for help.

Almost on queue you spun around to see Vegeta leaning in the doorway holding a towel to his temple wiping the sweat from the training session he must’ve just finished. You couldn’t help but jump a little not expecting to see him there. He was unphased and had his usual mean mug plastered across his face.

“I didn’t scare you did I, woman?” His stern voice sent shivers down your spin. There’s no way you were going to ask Vegeta for help. You’ve always hated having these one on one encounters with him.

“No, you didn’t,” you answered plainly, crossing your arms and popping out your hip. You didn’t want him to have the satisfaction of spooking you. “And stop calling me woman! My name is y/n” You rolled your eyes at him and spun on your heels back towards where you were standing previously.

“Bulma said I’d find you back here. The gravity chamber needs repairs” he stated, ignoring you per usual. He wrapped the towel around his neck and leaned back further into the doorway not planning to move until he got a confirmation that you’d drop what you were doing and go fix the chamber.

“Yes your ‘majesty’” you replied with air quotes hoping to actually piss him off. It must’ve worked because he pushed himself off the door frame and further into the storage room.

“What did you say, weakling?” His brows furrowed and he grabbed your arm roughly forcing you to face him. You tried to wiggle out of his hold but he wouldn’t let you. You decided to keep your cool knowing you had gotten under his skin.

“Oh, nothing… Prince Vegeta,” you replied with a flirtatious tone and a smirk, surprising both yourself and Vegeta. You couldn’t tell if he became flustered, before it could go further you finally pulled away. “Fine. Let me just grab these real quick then.” You spot a chair on the other side of the room. You grabbed the chair and brought it over to the shelf holding the blue prints. In one swift motion you stood up on the chair and reached out to grab the blue prints. You couldn’t believe it, you still weren’t tall enough. Your face became red when you realized Vegeta was still in the room. Crap.

There was silence and then a deep chuckle, Vegeta couldn’t hold it in. This was the first time you’d ever heard him laugh. “What were you planning on doing with that, woman?” He kept laughing which annoyed you more. You dropped your head in defeat, your hair fell to the sides of your face. You almost broke a sweat trying to get those damn blue prints.

With a brief pause, “Vegeta… can. you. help. me…?” You hated that you even had to ask him for help. This was so embarrassing. You couldn’t look over at him, part of you hoped he had left the room. You didn’t even know if he’d actually help, you wouldn’t put it past him. You heard his foot steps as he walked towards you. He didn’t say anything as he approached you. Stepping down from the chair you finally looked him in the eyes as he got closer. He looked you up and down once more before leaning down, picking you up wrapping his arms around the back of your knees so that his head was flush with your chest and his arms support your butt. This is not what you expected. You also didn’t expect for Vegeta to give you butterflies, why the heck were you feeling this way? He held you up high so you took the opportunity to reach for the blue prints. Finally! You tapped him signaling for him to put you down. Instead of letting you back down the way he picked you up, he allowed you to slide down his body causing your shirt to come up a bit. His onyx eyes were still locked on yours.

You pulled away from him clearing your throat and fixing your shirt. There was so much tension, you weren’t sure if he felt it too.

“Um, thanks,” you produced a fake smile in hopes he wouldn’t catch you blushing.

Vegeta closed the space between you again, he decided this time to pick you up so that your thighs were wrapped around his waist. Before you knew it his lips were on yours desperately trying to relieve the tension between the two of you. He carried you over to the nearest wall shoving you against it causing you to drop the blue prints you didn’t realize you were still holding. His gloved hand ran his fingers through your hair as he started placing kisses down your neck. A moan escaped your lips and that’s when you heard Bulma talking down the hall, you assumed she was looking for you since you’d been gone so long. Vegeta pulled away leaving you wanting more. Without saying a word to you he left the room.

On the way out of the door you heard him call out, “That woman needs to fix her attitude.” You we’re so confused. Before you had a second longer to think about it Bulma had turned the corner. Her eyebrow was raised as she smiled at you.

“Let me guess, the gravity chamber is broken again?” She giggled. You couldn’t hold it in, you started cracking up with her and eventually both of you were rolling on the floor laughing.

[saiyanmazen]

Rest

Another tiny ficlet for today. This one is heavily inspired by this art by @310knt (who's sadly no longer possible to find). Also this illustration by @ukyryo. Go check it out, just know that it hurts.

This ficlet also uses the prompt Rest from day 6 of the @vegebulocracy D&D event. Can also be read here on AO3.

Be warned: I cried while writing this which I've never done before. Reblogs and comments are much appreciated!

--------------

If only he had gone to hell. Surely that would have been less painful than this.

He watches her day in and day out. Taking care of their son. Fleeing the androids. Helping survivors. Desperately inventing something to change the past and hopefully their future.

Night and day he watches her. She rarely rests; there is no time for rest, she mutters to herself late at night.

He wants to tell her to rest.

In the beginning, he tried to contact her constantly, yelling and screaming in a fruitless attempt to reach her. But he never did and he knows never will.

He understood immediately that he was dead. His body was out there for days, along with the other killed warriors. Only Gohan survived as far as Vegeta is aware, but he is just a boy who recently lost his father to an unexpected disease.

Bulma buried their bodies after a few days when the androids traveled to another part of the planet. She cried silent tears as she dug, careful not to wake the sleeping toddler she had been forced to bring along with her. There was no one else to take care of him and the small boy needed his mother. He could likely feel the sudden decrease in ki around him and it made him uneasy.

Vegeta is there when his son takes his first steps and when he says his first word: safety. He knows that these are moments he would have missed if he had still been alive. He would've been busy destroying the androids or training. If anything good has come from his cruel fate, it is that he gets to experience his son growing up.

But mostly, it is torture. It is torture to see his son, but never being able to talk to him or spar with him. Trunks is strong, more than Bulma or he himself knows, and he has inherited his mother's intelligence. Vegeta is beyond proud of him, a feeling he wants to share. With her.

There is so much he wants to say to her, so many times he is desperate to hold her. But all he can do is watch. He can go everywhere on this blasted planet in this purgatorial plane of existence he is caught in, but there is nowhere else he wants ho be. His place is with her.

He longs to touch her, just one last time. At least to provide her a little comfort. During the late nights where she cries herself to sleep, he tries to lay his hand on her cheek and caress it. He can't feel it, but he hopes that she can. He whispers comforting words in her ear and he likes to imagine that her sleep is a little more peaceful because of it. And he lets his lips hover over hers, trying to remember how her kiss felt.

If he had known that there was a fate worse than hell… no, he can't pretend that he would've acted any different during his time under Frieza’s thumb. But he would have cherished his time with Bulma more and given in to his yearning for her a lot sooner. He would've told her how magnificent she is and that he loves her.

It is too late. All he can hope for now is that she will find some rest. Maybe then he will be able to do the same.

[sweetescapeartist]

MY DBS MANGA CHAPTER 70 REVIEW

We learn in the last chapter that the Cerealian Dragon's name is Toronbo when Granolah speaks Namekian. Toronbo grants Granolah's wish but can't make Granolah stronger than the gods.

Here's the confusion I have... Goku is a mortal beyond GoDs so making Granolah the strongest mortal is making him stronger than gods. If you wanna say Beerus has been training and is now stronger than Goku, there's still a problem. It was said that Goku and Vegeta were stronger than some GoDs right before the ToP (but that might be anime only, so maybe it doesn't apply here). So Granolah is stronger than GoDs no matter what. If the gods that Toronbo is speaking of are the Angels, then that means Granolah is Ultra Instinct level of power since Goku is the lowest in Angel tier. But whatever. Bottom line is Granolah is temporarily stronger than Goku who may or may not be stronger than Beerus.

Granolah gets his wish granted and the cost is shortening his life... cool. Not much to say except let's see how its executed.

(I recently read that in DBXV2, during the Infinite History Saga, Videl is enchanted with Towa's Dark Magic spell by Dabura shaving off her life but granting her greater power. So granting power at the cost of lifespan has been done in DB before. Not in canon but in the games.)

Also, Granolah's life being shortened to 3 yrs got me thinking... Currently it's almost AGE 781 in the DBS manga timeline. Goku leaves to train Uub in AGE 784. We got 3 yrs left. The original manga shows Bulma said she hadn't seen Goku in 5 yrs. How I see DBS is that it is an alternate timeline that just happens to have a similar outcome to the EoZ.

So... why is Vegeta learing from Beerus again if Beerus isn't that strong now? Is Vegeta being like Krillin and continuing his learning from a master weaker than him, but gaining wisdom & knowledge? I-is Vegeta becoming Krillin 2.0?! (More like dollar-store Krillin)

I do think beerus got stronger tho. He seems very confident that Vegeta can get stronger from learning from him. Beerus probably saw Goku get UI then decide to train aftet the ToP

Anyways, Beerus is teaching us about hakai/destruction energy. Its erasing something from existence, not just destroying it (we already knew that). But, Vegeta quickly figures out how to do it anyways. By destroying a tiny pebble...

A tangent again but I personally think Piccolo is capable of easily learning Hakai energy. Think about it. Piccolo can create clothing out of nothing, why could he not do the reverse?

Goku is uninterested in what Beerus & Vegeta are doing. I dont know about you, but it sounds like Goku thinks that he's above Beerus in strength. Beerus & Vegeta aren't considered a challenge to him in any way. Goku sees UI as more important & better than anything Beerus has to teach, and Goku is right. Plus Goku learned Hakai on his own while Vegeta needs Beerus to teach him. It's a waste of Goku's time to learn it again.

(God Comics is funny. I imagine Toribot writes them)

Goku says "Let's see which one of us can be the strongest in the universe!" Really, Goku...? At present time, Goku is the strongest mortal in the universe already. He should know that. Then Vegeta for some reason thinks he will become the strongest in the universe. The last time manga Vegeta was the strongest mortal in the universe was... never. He's always behind Goku or whatever new opponent arises. This scene is meant to be comedic that they're arguing over who will be the greatest but it's not funny to me. And yet Vegeta fans still hold on for hope.

But why is Goku concerned about being the strongest between him & Vegeta? Goku is far above Vegeta. They're not rivals at this point. Also, Goku was the strongest in the universe until just a few moments ago. Goku should be saying "I knew bein' the strongest wouldn't last for too long. Roshi did tell me there will always be somebody stronger out there. Hehe! This is gettin' me excited! I can't wait to meet 'em!" (This would alsp parallel Monaito giving Granolah the same advice Goku already knows.)

Also, I guess Broly isn't that strong after all. Bye Broly, you served your purpose. And to think that Goku had said that he thinks Broly is stronger than Beerus...

Oh yeah. So Vegeta destroys a pebble. Impressive? Goku kinda gives a compliment or he is practically saying "Good job Vegeta! You're doing great following in my footsteps!" Seriously, this would be so much better and cooler if this seperate paths of training began right after the Universe 6 vs Universe 7 tournament. That would be the perfect spot to have them train under Beerus & Whis. [Vegeta using Hakai against Merged Zamasu, Goku able to fight Merged Zamasu temporarily because he is getting better at letting his body move on its own, Toppo & Vegeta using Hakai against each other as Goku & Jiren use power above GoDs. That would work so much better.]

Then Vegeta says he's gonna destroy bigger things soon... is that supposed to be more impressive? Its not. But this it to build up Vegeta even though there is nothing amazing about anything he is doing at the moment. Maybe later tho.

So Cerealians can't grow beards. Also I guess Granolah's race don't age? His hair grew when his lifespan was shortened but he has no wrinkles. It seems that they age more gracefully than Saiyans. If he has some wrinkles he would have looked cooler imo. Or those lines under the eyes at the very least. If the wish shortened his life & made his hair grow, it should have also showed that he aged. (Here's an edit I made of "Grampa Granolah." You're welcome)

And remember Vegeta destroying a pebble? Granolah can suddenly destroy big rocks! Cool right?! No? Its not cool? Showing Granolah destroy a much larger object right afterwards kinda belittles Vegeta's accomplishment.

Oatmil is surprised by a boulder exploding. This means one of 2 things. Oatmil is stupid & never saw an Granolah explode a boulder. Or it's implying that the boulder exploding is some technique Oatmil doesn't know of. Idk how he can tell its any different from just blowing up a rock with ki. I think it's supposed to be destruction energy. If it is then, ok. If getting his wish was so easy, then why can't he suddenly learn destruction as well?

Yay! Monaito! (This really should be a Namekian focused arc)

Granolah reminds me of Zamasu with his attitude a bit. Monaito tells him somebody stronger will definetly appear. Granolah has become like Vegeta and is over confident, so he is destined to get humbled. And think about this. Goku can probably train a bit and surpass Granolah within a week.

Granolah can now sense ki. Meaning he can have the destruction technique or UI, because why not?

Monaito blames himself for Granolah's actions. Its not your fault Monaito! You did nothing wrong! Dont be so hard on yourself.

Whis being a creep and peeping on people lol.

Granolah's hair growing was pointless because he cuts it off soon after. Nothing changed visually. This kinda reminds me of how Moro lost his arm. Goku gave him a senzu, Moro grew it back, & then Moro broke his arm when attacking Goku. Then Moro tore his arm off & reattached his old one. There was no need for Moro to grow his arm back then tear it off. Similarly, there is no need for Granolah to have grown long hair then cut it off.

Maki still brings a smile to my face. She & Gas stand out the most out of the Heeters. Maki's personality is kinda like Zangya combined with a teasing Bulma. Gas reminds me of a Krillin/Piccolo fusion with dreadlocks. I also ship Maki x Gas cause they're short and look cute together. (please don't be siblings so I can draw them together🤞)

Granolah fights Oil & Maki. I'm not impressed. They seem like they could be defeated by Chaoitzu (he's stronger than Raditz and probably Nappa now too). Granolah's movements could be seen as UI. If it is or isn't UI, it doesn't matter. Showing off that kind of power is like Goku using Ultra Instinct during a rematch with Nam or King Chappa. Its not effective storytelling. There had to be a better way of showing Granolah's new strength than making him fight opponents that give him zero challenge.

The art is good as usual and the panel flow is nice. Toyotaro is improving at creating the illusion of motion. The environment being used in the fight was smart and a good visual. Toyo still uses a ton of panels almost every page tho. But he's still a better artist than I am.

Granolah appears to have used Hakai again. Not the explosive variant but the sand variant (yes I think there are 2 ways of using Hakai).

The "Sand Variant" that Beerus & Goku (& maybe Granolah) have used.

The "Explosive Variant" Beerus & Vegeta (& maybe Granolah) have used.

Maki thinks the "Hakai" is magic so that's interesting. I would say I'd like for the next enemy to be a magic user but, we know how Moro turned out... 😓

Maki has "ki claws" & I like the idea but it would be better if she had used it against an enemy she can defeat. It doesn't make her look useful in this fight. Gas seems confident when he is about to fight Granolah, but Elec stops him. Gas would've gotten beaten but it make ya wonder what Gas can do.

Granolah appears to be a person that is easily manipulated and persuaded. He even gave information they weren't even asking for. He'll probably be easily convinced and manipulated by Freeza/the Hedters or quickly have a truce with Goku.

The Heeters plan to go to Planet Cereal to get the Dragon Balls. As I suspected, the Cerealian Dragon Balls were created so that it would be easy for wishes to be granted. Gathering 2 Dragon Balls on a nearby planet instead of gathering 7 on New Namek or Earth. Plus these new Dragon Balls ensures no interaction between Earthlings & Granolah/the Heeters. A perfect way to write Gohan & company out of the story... *sigh* 😔😒

We learn Cerealians live for 2 centuries. How's that compare to other races in Universe 7? Freeza & King Cold apparently can live more than 200 yrs, But that may be because they are mutants. Namekians can live for like 500 yrs & its possible for them to reincarnate themselves too. So in a way, Namekians can live forever. Saiyans stay youthful & live to be in their 80's, but rapidly age when they reach their 60's or 70's. Average Earthlings appear live to be in their 80's or 90's but some are over 100 yrs old (Dr. Briefs, Panchy, & Ox King are in their 90's in GT) and others can increase their lifespan through elixers or the Paradise Herb. Just some thoughts of mine.

Maki says "If he ices Freeza..." Ha, an ice pun. Elec wants to defeat Freeza so he can control his army. Its revealed they wanna kill Granolah & that they worked with Freeza to destroy his planet & race. Well... that more than likely means they're gonna die by Granolah's hand or Freeza's. This info is also an attempt to make the reader more sympathetic for Granolah. Granolah is too bland (pun intended) so I don't feel any more sympathy than I already had for him. Elec plans to make Goku & Vegeta fight Granolah since Granolah hates Saiyans. Smart but we all kinda expected it. Not bad writing tho.

The final panel talks about fate bringing the 3 (Goku, Vegeta, & Granolah) together. Sounds like a repeat of the Broly movie.

We've had 4 chapters in this arc & not 1 panel of Freeza... If Freeza doesnt appear & do something in the next chapter then I will be disappointed in the writing. Showing Freeza here and there would give tension and build up until we get the encounter with him. We also have no idea who Oatmil is. Is he an A.I. or a person? Not that big of a deal yet, but I would like to find out soon. Either show Freeza or tell us more about Oatmil next chapter pleaae

This chapter was like oatmeal (the food not the character) without butter, brown sugar, milk, & honey or raisins. Not bad, but not very good either. 

So here's my thoughts on the things that could or could not happen in this arc.

Goku vs Granolah. I don't care for the fight because the power is at a point that it doesnt make sense for enemies to get to without cheating somehow. The fight will look cool but I have no interest in it.

Vegeta vs Granolah will have Vegeta being stomped as always and Vegeta fans will make excuses & complain how it's not fair. A lot of Vegeta fans often make fun of Yamcha & Krillin for getting beat up even though those 2 bravely fight opponents leagues stronger than they are. Vegeta has gotten stomped by opponents more times than Krillin & Yamcha combined but the fans gotta deflect somehow. I don't care to hear or see the complaining again.

The interaction and dialogue between Granolah & Vegeta is going to be more interesting than their fight. But I worry because Toyo isn't the best at writing dialogue.

I have no reason to care about power growth, certain interactions, or Goku & Vegeta's training.

What I am curious about/want to see?

Monaito's well being. I want him to reunite with other Namekians. But I think he's been set up to die.

Lore about the dragon gods & Namekian lore we probably wont get.

I want Piccolo, Krillin, Gohan, & others will be involved. Piccolo because of the Namekian & wosh granting dragon lore. Gohan because his interaction with Granolah eould be interesting since Gohan is half Saiyan & views himself as an Earthling. Krillin & other Earthlings because they can bring tensions where characters like Goku & Vegeta can't. Those 2 are too strong for there to be any real tension. However Earthlings aren't all powerful so them using wits to survive is more exciting. But I doubt any of their involvement.

How long a Cerealian year is? Is it shorter than a Namekian year? How much time will pass for the Cerealian Dragon Balls to be active? How much stronger than Granolah will Goku get? Hopefully the answers aren't lazy...

Will Beerus finally fight somebody? There are 6 mortals that are near or above his power (Goku, Granolah, Vegeta, Broly, Freeza, Gohan).

Who's the villian of the next arc & what explanation is going to be given for them having power on the level of Angels? Angel tier fights don't sound interesting to me anymore. After those kinds of battles, Goku will have no challengers left.

Will Goku disappear to train or something so the story can TRY to match up with the EoZ?

Will Goten, Trunks, & Marron hit their growth spurts within 3 yrs?

Will we get spin-off manga about other characters? PLEASE!? 🙏

Also DBS moved too quickly when it comes to power. Now we're at the point that Goku & Vegeta need to stop being involved in fights for there to be any actual threat or tension. The Buu saga took place in AGE  774. After training for 4 years of peace, Goku thought SS3 & fusion was his limits as a Saiyan and he was right. Well, kinda... Goku was introduced to god ki near the end of AGE 778. Then in AGE 781, Goku masters Ultra Instinct... He mastered an Angel technique in 2 year or 2.5 yrs. That was waaaay too fast. As a result the storytelling & writing are suffering from this rushed progress. Now we're gonna have an Angel tier opponent? According to the pattern of DBS, Goku's gonna end up surpassing the Angels within 2 or 3 yrs after learning god ki. Thats not impressive for Goku, that's terrible writing. And no, Goku getting this strong so fast is not a benefit to Saiyans either. It just shows us that without god ki, Saiyans ain't all that powerful unless they're the legendary Saiyan like Broly. Saiyans didn't even have a concept of training until Goku was trained by Earthlings. Gohan, Freeza, 17, & I'm pretty sure Piccolo as well have all surpassed SS3 without the help of god ki. God ki makes Saiyans look like they have limits. With god ki, the writing is broken....

I got off topic again... Anyways that's the end of my review.

[reignbow]

Dragonball Theory Time!

Today’s Subject: Frieza Race Anatomy!

Beforehand, I would like to thank the individual who commented on my last post. I had completely glossed over the biogems as a whole! But the comments talking about how the biogems behave as both temperature regulators and oxygen reservoirs makes so much sense. Thank you!

Now on to my other theories. Last time I did something similar, discussing how the Frieza race’s planet might look based on features of the Frieza Race. This will an extension of that, but focusing more on the anatomy of the Frieza race themselves. Buckle up! This is going to be a long post!

Number One: Bone structure.

This one puzzled me for awhile. After all, they have an exoskeleton, so that could possibly lead me to believe they have no bones.

However, this doesn’t hold up for long. They CAN create bio suits, that is for sure. But it doesn’t mean they have to. Especially in facial regions, I would expect in there to be little to no exoskeleton, and instead normal skin.

Not to mention, the Frieza Race are obviously vertebrates. Their tail movements will tell you that! And they move like they have bones.

Sure, they could have some fancy bones like ones made cartilage or metal or something, but so far there isn’t much evidence here to suggest they have anything particularly special about their skeletal structure! Well, apart from their skulls. Those ought to be interesting!

Number Two: What do they eat?

We rarely see Frieza eat anything. Usually Goku takes up the most mealtime-screen time of anybody due to his insane appetite!

So what does Frieza eat? What about his entire race?

Well, we can make some assumptions based on what we DO see him consume.

We see Frieza drink wine on his ship, we see him lick Vegeta’s blood after Vegeta coughs it onto Frieza’s face, and we see him eat a Namekians Crab in one bite. That may not seem like much, but it actually gives us a lot to go off of!

First of all, Frieza can drink water, as both wine and blood have some content of it. This lines up with the idea of his home-planet containing ice and water, and Frieza likely needs some amount of water to survive.

On the subject of eating things, we see him eat a crab. His teeth as obviously strong enough to bite through the crab’s strong shell, unless he was… concentrating energy into his jaw to make his bite harder…?

This seems random, until you remember that the Frieza Race have shells themselves. Their exoskeleton, or biosuits, presumably to protect them from a sharp environment.

This could mean that animals of Frieza’s homeworld also possess shells to offer the same protection, and the ability to bite through these shells would be useful for the Frieza Race to have in order to eat these creatures.

Keep in mind that the Frieza Race does not likely cook their food on their homeworld. With the already ability to survive the temperatures there, fire would be useless. So their food is probably raw.

But other features give us further insight into their hunting. Take the fact Frieza has never trained in his life. But one of his automatic attacks is to choke an opponent with his tail. This could come from the possibility of larger armored animals on his homeworld, and the possibility that the Frieza Race hunt them by choking them with their tails. Especially if not all Frieza Race are ki users.

Alternatively, if running water exists on their planet, they can use their feet to catch fish, or other small animals. Then they could just bite through the shell to eat them.

Number 3: Tiny Friezas

We know from Xenoverse 2 that Frieza’s species only has a single gender. This isn’t anything surprising, as Namekians work the same way. Namekians litteraly spit the eggs out of their mouths.

But we are never told how that works with Frieza’s race. Obviously Frieza’s family aren’t the only Frieza Race, because in Xenoverse 2, many of Frieza’s Race can be seen in Conton City as time patrollers.

The biggest evidence also comes from one of those time patrollers named Metatts. When his human friend asks him and his Namekian friend why aliens are so ‘darn obsessed with coming to earth,’ he responds with, “hey don’t say that. Frieza’s exploits have caused my people no end of trouble.”

There would have to be more, in order for ‘his people’ to have trouble caused for them.

The biggest guess we can have right now is that they also cough up eggs like Namekians. However, one thing to note is that Namekian eggs are round, and that Nemakians themselves are stretchy, as proven by their abilities to extend their arms.

This would mean Namkian throats can stretch around one of their eggs as they spit it out.

Frieza Race are different. They have never been particularly stretchy. So to compensate for this, their eggs are more likely to be long, like a snake’s egg, to allow the egg to pass through their throat. Only if they spit out eggs as well, though.

On another note, in real life earth, not wacky DBZ earth, we have a few of our own species that reproduce asexually. Some species of lizard. One problem is that they all look the same, due to them all being ‘clones’ of their parent.

Obviously Frieza Race differ a lot in appearance. After all, looking the same as Frieza all the time would be boring! (Although, acting like a carbon copy of him is also pretty mundane. AHEM, ANIME FROST

The Frieza Race therefore must be prone to mutation. Mutations would explain the differences between relatives we see, like Frieza and Cooler’s differing color schemes.

Offspring will bear some resemblance, but are also likely to mutate completely different colors, horn shapes, or vitalities. (Speaking of which, I will be covering vitality next!)

Number four: Vitality

We all know how crazy hard to kill Frieza can be. This has always been attributed to his vitality. Just what is this vitality? It seems to pertain to the amount of injury one could withstand before dying.

This appears to differ wildly, even between parent and child! As Frieza’s high vitality lead him to be able to survive while chopped up in pieces, and even attempt to telekinetically pull himself back together after Trunk’s attack, in the manga. Only dying after being disintegrated by Trunks a few seconds later.

However, King Cold was instantly helpless after being shot through the midsection by Trunk’s ki blast, and maybe even dying.

Again, we also return to Metatts from Xenoverse 2, who has been very helpful in solving multiple Frieza Race mysteries. When taking about their regeneration technology, he mentions that using the regeneration machines, they can even come back from being smashed to mush… as long as they had a high enough vitality!

Assumedly, Cold is not one who could survive in such a state.

Number Five: Aging

If my research is correct, Cold is pretty old by human standards. And he is also very tall. One could assume that much like some lizards, Frieza Race never stop growing.

Then why is Frieza so short? Possibly a mutation or defect that came with his crazy amount of power.

Number Six: Forms

Contrary to some believe, not all Frieza Race have multiple forms. Because most aren’t born with the crazy amount of power Frieza had, and thus would not need any limiting forms. Cold didn’t have multiple forms, and neither do any of the time patrollers seem to.

Then if you go to Resurrection F, Frieza obtains a new form. Known as his golden form.

However, a lot of people seem to forget that it was not gold by default. He explicitly states that he CHOSE that color.

This leads me to believe that Frieza, and others if they need multiple forms, can somewhat create these forms with control over the appearance. Using this logic, the potential of the Frieza Race could far surpass any other race, due to them being able to create new forms each time they needed to contain more power.

Hope you liked this! Feel free to comment any additions, contradictions, or even straight up opinions you have!

[yamchaas]

Welcome back to Jessie Yamchaas drink and episode reviews- Today we will be reviewing- Episode 71 of Dragon ball Super and Green Tea topped with whipped cream cheese concoction I saw in a youtube video late last night that disturbed me, keep reading if either of these intrigue you-

First things first, I had to make my drink to accompany my episode rewatch, here he is in all his glory:

Looks wise? Not the prettiest drink, slightly “shreks swamp after the honeymoon” vibes, but looks don’t matter- it’s about the taste. Taste wise? This shit disgusting, what in the actual fuck- Janice, girl, you said this was nice in your video what is this- The whipped cream cheese sits on top of the bitter tea so your first sip is straight up just this weird cream cheese and then you get bitter tea and its fuckin bad- 0.5/5, won’t make again.

Okay now we have that horror out of the way lets move on to something less terrible, surely- Yamcha playing baseball :)

Okay, first things first- animation. WHERE THE HELL IS YAMCHA’S CAKE? WHERE HE FUCKIN THIGHS AND HIS BUTT AT? BASEBALL TIGHT PANTS ARE WONDERFUL BUT WHERE ALL THE MEAT GONE?? YAMCHA ALWAYS HAD MEAT BRO, HE ALWAYS HAD JUICY THIGHS BRO 😭- Okay but with that out of my system there no other glaring issues with the animation in this episode, sure some of the distant shots are funky but I’m not bothered too greatly by that, it’s actually fairly well done- I especially appreciate the scenes where they focus on Yamcha’s technique and of course the cool wolf shot sings to me so all and all no complaints beyond Yamcha being too small.

As for plot, Champa and Beerus are having a “friendly” match between universes 6 and 7, hijinks ensue- This is filler, there’s not much plot to speak on.

Utterly in love with the line from Yamcha that he left Tien and Chiaotzu behind, super funny and a nice little throwback to the Res F movie- Also, they’re married <3 But I do just have to say it does utterly flummox me that Tien is not included in this episode, there’s genuinely no reason for him not to be here and I can’t help but to imagine how fun the episode could have been if Tien was on the universe 6 team to even out the numbers- They never gave us the Yamcha/Tien rematch at the tournament so it could have been a fun way of giving us some kind of rematch and banter all these years later, but sadly they just didn’t take the opportunity- Also no Tien Baseball Tight pants 😭😭 Disappointing.

Whis and Vados look nice :) Vegeta being obsessed with topping Goku once more, nothing new here. Gohan’s a sweety, also nothing new here.

Now some positives: Yamcha being so encouraging and a good team leader is very sweet to see, love that actually. I also love that they made these amazing warriors not very good at something that isn’t fighting, like it’s comical but it’s also nice in a way? Like yes, Goku is unbelievable in so many ways but he struggles to learn baseball- Its nice to be reminded these characters have flaws and struggle in different aspects of life, just like regular people do too- Really like that.

Love them incorporating Yamcha’s use of spirit control into his baseball skills, it’s just fun and cool, no complaints from me at all.

Piccolo being good at baseball is cute and I like it.

Now on to everything else-

This episode truly hurts my feelings, it’s so unnecessarily mean for no reason and I know people might say “but doesn’t he technically win? and wasn’t he better than everyone?” Those are the only scraps he gets- Literally Yamcha speaks in a total of 10 super episodes and this is the only episode that we could even vaguely call a Yamcha episode and it’s just a joke on him 90% of the time-

18 questioning if Yamcha should be captain and being nasty about his skills truly fucks me off- Like he’s been the best baseball player on earth for 20+ years, the show acts like Yamcha is completely useless and it just grates on me- Yamcha trained with King Kai, he can hold his own against the ginyu force- He’s not weak. He’s just plainly not!! Sure he’s not Goku level, or even Piccolo, but that’s okay, because he is human!! He’s still an amazing martial artist and baseball player and he’s also a good friend with a kind heart. The show playing into the useless pathetic Yamcha memes is cheap. It’s just cheap.

As for the he weird, kinda implied Bulma/Yamcha stuff in this ep HATE HATE MALICE BITE KILL- Actually fuck off. The blush pisses me off so bad-  Like Yamcha has never acted hung up on Bulma, he was a bit annoyed when Trunks was a tiny baby, which was fair! But other than that he just treated her like a regular friend, no unrequited love. Also I’m pretty sure this is the nicest Bulma has ever been to Yamcha... Ever. In like the entire series as a whole. So... That’s telling.

Also supers insistence that Yamcha’s this cocky, smarmy guy will never cease pissing me off! The Yamcha we leave in Dragon Ball Z has been remarkably chill and humble for years, so why now is he suddenly a dickhead again? This is more prevalent in other episodes but does feature here too. Bad writing- Bad characterization. Bad.

And it ends on the dead fucking Yamcha meme pose- Because of course it does. Because it’s cheap and it’s nasty and that’s all there is to it. They took a character that used to be a main character. A loved character. And they played into the dudebro, abridged series, meme-ifcation to get cheap laughs rather than give this character the dues he deserves. They literally couldn’t even give him one (1) episode. This is actually worse than the fucked cream cheese green tea drink- By a large margin.

NOTABLE, QUOTABLE:

“C’mon let’s see some pep in your step!”

“Wow- It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Yamcha this fired up!” 😭😭 Dude seeing Yamcha confident and excited and Goku being so happy makea me 😭😭

“Let the Yamcha show you what it’s like to dominate on the mound-” I’ll let The Yamcha dominate on my moun- *Comically large hook snatches me by the neck, pulling me and my computer chair off stage*

“The wolf fang pitching fist ball-” Tien, I need you to kiss this man on his dumb mouth, please.

“Yeah for a washed up fighter that’s not bad.” 18 I GOT MAD LOVE FOR YOU BUT IMMA THROW HANDS WITH YOU BITCH IF YOU KEEP THIS UP- “But Jess she’s a powerful android and you’re some chick-” Yeah but don’t you know the power of love is the strongest force in the world? Also I grew up in the country and have reserved farm strength so 😤

“It’s an honour to have this of bat” Cabba I dont know what the fuck this means but I’m fuckin happy to see you mate- You a good boy!! “Watch closely master, I’m going to hit this and prove I’m worthy of your teaching-’ stupid lil bitch ass vegtea don’t deserve this sweety 😤

“What are you even doing here, I’m totally out of my league, at this rate I’d be lucky to walk off the field alive... C’mon Yamcha, keep your head in the game, we are going to win this.” TIEN IF YOU DONT GENTLY AND SWEETLY BRUSH THIS MANS CHOPPY MULLET FROM HIS FACE AND SWEETLY KISS HIS LIPS ON GOD-

Winning shot of the epsiode:

Thanks for tuning in to my review of drink and episode uhhhhhh see you again uhhhhhhh if someone gives me a drink and a episode to watch :)

[essieqt]

Here’s a silly little one shot crossover I wrote ! It’s also on a03. It’s going to end up having some additional one shots in it mainly dealing with interactions from the Black Bulls & Z fighters.

Fandoms: DBZ & Black Clover

Words 1035

The air was warm, perhaps one of the last warm days before the crispness of the fall air settled across the clover Kingdom. Charmy had spent the day searching for new ingredients near the border of the strong Mana region that divides the Clover and Spade Kingdoms. “Ahhh! This is the best food I have ever made!” Charmy declared while stuffing piles of food into her mouth in rapid succession. 

“MORE MORE!!” She excitedly commanded her sheep cooks.

Meanwhile...

:”Lord Beerus, this is the 5th dimension we have gone to, just because you have a craving for something new! This is an absolute misuse of divine power!” The blue skinned humanoid scolded.  

“ Shut it! I’m telling you, Whis, I smell something delectable!” The purple cat-like individual responded.

“You said that about every other version of earth we went to. I thought we were going to be training. Plus Chi Chi is going to be mad if I’m late picking up Goten again. Last time she said she would kill me!” The pointy haired man sighed.

“Shut up Kakarot” An angry voice spat. 

“ Hmm… Now that you mention it Lord Beerus, I do smell something rather tasty!” Whis sniffed the air. 

The group of Dimension hoppers spotted the source of delectable smells. A small girl was devouring piles of food, with a blonde boy who looked ready to pop. Beerus took the lead as the group approached. 

“ I am Beerus, Lord of Destruction,, Unless you want your planet destroyed, you will relinquish all of your food at once!!” He threatened. 

The small girl stopped mid bite and turned towards the intruders. Charmy released her mana, eyes turning white, a large sheep appeared behind her. “No one touches MY FOOD.” She screamed letting anger consume her. 

“Now Lord Beerus, I’m sure we can be more forthcoming to our tiny child friend with the delectable Cuisine.” Whis smiled at the angry girl in front of him.

“Oh god this is really good, You were right, Lord Beerus!” Goku said excitedly as he took the food off Charmy’s plate, stuffing it into his mouth.

Charmy’s mana instantly dissipated as she turned to goku. “You like my food?!?!” She said excitedly.

“Yes! It’s so good and It’s restoring my energy! Guys it’s like a sensu bean!” Goku announced with a mouth full of food. 

“ JUST WAIT! YOu haven’t seen anything! I’m Charmy Pappitson and I will make you the BEST food you’ve ever had! Sheep Cook: Master Chef!” A large sheep with a mustache and pair of curved horns appeared behind the small girl. “More More!” She continued to summon sheep who instantly started to prepare food.

“Um. Whis, what is this?” Beerus impatiently questioned.

“ It appears the people in this dimension can wield magic. It’s not unlike how we wield Ki, but theirs is derived from the natural mana of this world. How interesting.” Whis replied with wonder.

PIles of food began to appear in front of the group with blinding speed, as the sheep cooks continued to work. 

“Are you should we should-” Beerus stopped mid sentence as whis’s eyes turned to hearts as he ate the first bite of food.

“ This is amazing! No need to try any Lord Beerus, It’s probably poisonous” The angel warned with a chuckle.

“ I’m not going to let you have all of this.” he said, walking over and grabbing a pastry from the ever growing pile of food. The god sniffed the strange looking pastry allowing the smell to invade his senses, “this is the best thing I’ve ever smelled.” he thought as he took a large bite. One bite turned into one pastry, then two, then eight. The lord of destruction couldn’t get enough of the delicacies the child in front of him was producing with amazing speed.

“Vegeta! Come on, you have to try this! I promise you’ll like it, please??!” Goku loudly pleaded to the short man with his arms crossed. 

“ Hmph!” Vegeta stuck his nose in the air as he walked towards the food claiming a pastry as his own. The saiyan soon began to take part in the feed frenzy that was now in full swing.

The group continued to eat for what seemed like hours, before Goku spoke up. “Geeze Charmy This was amazing! I can’t eat another bite” he said while putting his hands on his belly.

Charmy looked at him, releasing her mana once again “ You’re done when I say you’re done.” She said menacingly. 

“Ah ok!!” Goku said as he started to slowly.

“ MORE” Charmy yelled at him.

Goku began to shove food in his mouth faster, matching the pace of the rest of the party. 

“Now that was a feast fit for a God!” Beerus declared. 

“ Yes! Thank you so much, Charmy of the Clover Kingdom.” Whis said graciously, as he turned to beerus giving him a look. 

“ I won't destroy your planet this time.” Beerus said gruffly. 

“ Charmy, What was that power you had? You seem really strong, wanna fight?!?!” Goku questioned. 

“ That’s a child Kakarot, you can’t go to another dimension and assault their children.” Vegeta scolded.

“ Actually I’m 20! I have to save up my energy so I can eat more later, so no fighting for me!!” Charmy said happily.

The travelers looked at her dumb founded. 

“ How can you be 20?? This makes my head hurt!” Goku said, rubbing his head.

Whis’s staff rumbled to life indicating a call was coming. “Oh Hello Bulma!” Whis greeted the image that floated above his staff. The blue haired woman was quickly knocked out of the way to reveal a fuming Chi Chi. 

“ GOKU WHERE ARE YOU? You were supposed to pick Goten up from school. MY POOR BABY--” Whis quickly ended the transmission cutting her off mid sentence.

“ Sounds like we better get you home.” Whis smiled.

“ Yeah, ChiChi seems pretty mad.” Goku rubbed the back of his neck. 

“ Aww! Will you come back soon? I promise to have more delectable goodies soon!” Charmy beamed at them.

“ You better or I’ll dest” Beerus was cut off by Whis.

“ We look forward to it! Thank you for your hospitality.” There was a brief flash and the mysterious travelers were gone.