#to july 2021 jimmy: it was in fact not the end and was just the start | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

reignstormz · 3 years

Text

✓WORK IT OUT✓

|IMAGINE; PART TWO|

INTRO; Continuation from Part One, I couldn't type the entire imagine on just one smh. Still hope you enjoy!

WARNINGS; Sexual content ahead, still. Read at your own risk.

CAST; Same as the first chapter

MINI PLAYLIST; Beg For It - Chris Brown / Someday Is Tonight - Janet Jackson / Hold On - The Internet / Rather Be - H.E.R. / Finesse - Bryson Tiller.

🦋Tampa, Florida

🦋July 25th, 2021

Ever since then, you and Roman stayed in touch. You got to know each other very well over the past couple of months, and became good friends, close friends to be exact. Roman was like the other half to you that you never thought you needed; You both had a lot in common as well as differences which complimented each other, everytime you were together there was never a dull moment, you could talk for hours to this man about anything and laugh about pure nonsense that only you two could understand. He always gave the best advice whenever you were down, and did whatever he could to make you smile. Roman wasn't just the fine ass guy from the gym that you fawned over back then, he was your best friend, which made it harder to contain your feelings believe it or not.

You loved him, but it wasn't just a friendly love, you were in love. Overtime, you started to realize that he was truly your soul mate all this time. You had an idea of that beforehand, but you always denied it, mainly because you didn't want to rush into things, or get hurt again. As you guys got further into your friendship, you had revealed to him about what you went through, and how crushed you were. There wasn't a day afterwards that Roman wouldn't tell you that you deserved better, someone that would treat you like the queen that you were.

He'd always tell you that you were special, beautiful, and sometimes even got a little touchy with you. There was always a flirtatious vibe that he would give off, and you of course didn't mind. You had a strong feeling that he felt the same way, you knew he did, but you didn't want to say anything. You wanted him to make the first move. However, you were making moves of your own as well.

After your ex finally moved out of your apartment, you wanted to completely turn your life around. You wanted to boss up, and bring out your alter ego for a change. It was time to reach for the lifestyle that you always wanted, and sitting around feeling sorry for yourself wasn't going to do anything. So, you went out and did just that. First, you searched a new job. Even though you loved your current one, you strived for something bigger, and a better salary. You searched, and searched, you honestly thought that there was going to be no luck until you came across something that captured your interest.

It was an assistant job at a business company named 'Roman Empire Enterprises' and though it had a nice ring to it, it also reminded you of Roman. Anything reminded you of him, due to how head over heels you were. So, you decided to take a leap of faith and apply. You were interviewed by an older, white man named Paul Heyman, and he had informed you about every little detail this business had. He talked about how this was a family ran business, and how he's worked with them for generations. You noticed that, he never really talked about who you were going to be assisting, but addressed the family as the 'Anoa'i Family' which was Roman's last name. You got a little curious, wondering if he had anything to do with this or if he even owned this place. So, you flat out asked if he worked there and Paul didn't hesitate to answer your question. Apparently, Roman was the boss of the entire company and that's what you signed up for, to be his assistant.

You were extremely confused as to how you didn't have this information before you applied for the job, but you were even more confused at the fact that Roman never told you about his occupation this entire time you've been friends. You'd ask about it sometimes, but he would always brush it off. When you got a moment alone, you told him everything about what you found out, and he revealed something to you as well. He admitted to owning the company and being the boss, but he never told you about it because it was more than that, and he didn't want to scare you off. Roman wasn't just a regular boss, he was a Mafia boss and this position had been handed to him after his father stepped down. His family has been doing this for years, and he's dealt with some pretty dangerous, horrific things being in control, but he loved it at the same time. Roman's cousin Jey was apart of it, so was his brother Jimmy that you ended up meeting was too, including Paul, who was his special counsel.

You didn't know what to think if it, and it took you awhile to process all of it. You honestly thought about turning down the job, and maybe even keeping your distance from him, but you couldn't, you loved him too much. After all, you trusted Roman, you knew he wouldn't let anything happen to you. When he found out you were the one that applied for the job, he was happy and begged for you to take it. You gave it some thought, knowing this was something way different than you have ever done before and it wasn't like any regular job, but it didn't take you too long before you accepted his offer.

It was the best decision you ever made, you loved working by his side. It did take a little bit of time for you to get the hang of things, but he taught you everything he knew about the Mafia game, his family, the business, and how important it was to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. You worked really hard, and he spoiled you with just about everything. Jewelry, your dream car, and your salary was big enough so you could get a new, spacious penthouse. Your life really turned around and you were proud of yourself for moving forward.

Currently, you were with Roman at the moment in his gym at his new house he moved into about two months ago. It was large, very grand, typically Roman's style. Another thing that you loved doing together other than going to the movies, and even going to dozens of restaurants was working out together. This time, you didn't have any accidents thankfully but you two still goofed around at times, like now.

You were on the ground, in a deep lunge, stretching after an intense workout. You thought Roman had left the room for a little bit to take care of some business calls, but he creeped up behind you and smacked your ass harshly. You winced, and then sighed, turning your head around to glare at him, "Can you stop doing that?"

"Doing what?" He shrugged, with a playful smirk on his face as he sat down on the edge of the bench press. You rolled your eyes, getting up from your lunge and stood in front of him in a challenging stance, "Don't get smart, you punk." Then you hit his arm and a grin grew on your face by his reaction.

He rubbed his arm in pain and laughed out loud, and he quickly grabbed the both of your hands as tried your best to get out of his grasp, "What did I say about you hitting me, babygirl?"

You bit your lip, instantly you got a tingly feeling in your stomach, whenever he called you by your nickname, or one of the many nicknames he gave you.

"Don't bite your lip and get all shy now, come here." Roman licked his lips with a settle, sensual smile on his face. Jesus take the wheel, you thought. Your heart started to beat really fast and you could no longer hold his stare, instead you continued to try to fight him off but it didn't work. He dropped your hands and quickly reached for your stomach to tickle you, making you giggle uncontrollably and fall into his lap. You were trapped in his gentle, yet firm hold as he kissed you repeatedly on the cheek, making you blush and hide your face into his neck.

This wasn't the only time that you guys were intimately close like this, there's been multiple occasions where you got really close, but no moves were made. Times like this made it really hard for you to control yourself or your feelings, you wish you could just say it, but you were scared.

You inhaled his sweet scent and your arms were wrapped his neck. His large arms were wrapped around your waist, embracing you. As you continued to hold each other in silence, the air started to thicken with heat and your body started to have a mind with his own from how turned on you stared to feel. Your body clinged onto his, giving you goosebumps, and you felt a waterfall starting to form between your legs as you sat directly on his area, which you could've sworn you felt a bulge. You then felt his hands briefly wander over your ass once, which you tried your best not to react to and keep quiet, but the second time he lightly squeezed it, causing you to jolt your hips gently against him. Your breath hitched, and you pressed your lips together, holding back a moan.

"Do it again, Mama.." He whispered deeply into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You nervously sighed, knowing that you've gone pretty far and there was no turning back now. If he didn't know before, he definitely knew now. You slowly pulled away from him, stopping your actions and looked down, with his large bulge in your view.

"Roman-" You began to say but he cut you off, hushing you.

"Shh." Roman tilted your neck to the side, leaving trails of kisses down your neck, "Roman what, huh?" He asked seductively. Your eyes slowly fell closed, falling into every kiss and touch he planted on your skin.

"I-" You muttered but he slapped your ass, shutting you up. Roman chuckled, and moved to the other side of your neck.

"Do you think I'm stupid, babygirl?" He trailed kisses up your neck, leaving one last kiss close to your lips before pulling away a little but still close to you. As you avoided eye contact with him, he watched your every move, "Look at me." He demanded carefully.

You hesitantly looked down at him, meeting his gaze before and shook your head shyly, answering his question. He just simply stared at you, as if he was trying to read you while a faint smirk was on his face.

"Then what's with all the games, hm? Why are you playing wit' me?" He questions darkly as his hands roam your body, "You think I don't know how you feel about me?"

You stayed quiet, which was the exact reply he needed to be proved right. You were on the fence, nervously anticipating what he was going to do or say next.

Roman chuckles, and his hands find his way inside your shorts, taking a handful of your ass in his hands making you gasp, and you got even more wet.

"Or were you too scared to tell me?" He said quietly, and was about two inches away from your face. You inhaled slowly, and your eyes fell to his lips.

"I wasn't scared.." You trail off, lying through your teeth. Roman licked his lips, alternating his attention between your eyes and lips.

"If you're not scared," He challenged, bringing you even closer, trapping any space between you both, giving you no choice to give in, "Then show me."

You stared into his lustful eyes for one, lingering second before you smashed your lips into his, resting your hands on his face while he returned the kiss right away, tightening his grip on your ass. Lord knows how long you've wanted to do that, there was a whole bunch of emotions running around in your mind; Relief, Happiness, Lust, but most importantly, Love. You loved Roman more than anything and it was beyond overwhelming that you finally got the chance to show him, through your mind, soul, and body.

As the makeout session got more heated, your bodies reacted with it. Your hips began to move in sync with his, creating a huge amount friction and pleasure. You moaned softly into the kiss, giving him the opportunity to slip his tongue inside of your mouth, having a battle with your own. His hands trailed up to your waist, holding them firmly as you moved against him and he broke the kiss, resting his forehead on yours, "I want you to say the words." He says, trying to control his heavy breath.

You both stare intensely into each other's eyes as he moves your hips faster, making you come undone, "Say it. Say it to me."

You nodded quickly, knowing exactly what he meant, wanting nothing more to get to the point, the teasing was driving you crazy, "I want you to fuck me," You say bluntly with a shaky breath. Roman smiled lazily, slowing down your hip movements and pecked your lips, "That's my girl."

He picked you up from the bench with your legs wrapped around his waist, and switched you around so that you were sitting down. Your face was instantly met with his pelvic area, and his member that damn near poked out of his shorts. He looked huge, you gulped, startled from the surprise. Roman tilted your head up gently to look at him, then took your hand and put it on his bulge.

"You see what you do to me?" He asked, licking his lips slowly, and you could even spot how glistened they were. In response, you smirked, tracking your hand up a little to grab the waist band of his shorts but he quickly stopped you.

"Not so fast, baby girl." He warned you, and you frowned a little, wondering why he wouldn't let you continue.

"You come first, always." Roman caressed your cheek and nodded his head toward the bench, motioning for you to lay down, "Lay down for me."

You laid down against the bench, adjusting a little bit to more comfortable and Roman dropped onto his knees his front of you, running his hands over your thighs and briefly on your stomach, taking in your body.

"Look at you.." He trailed off, opening your legs and licked his lips. "Not being able to hold still, why are you shaking, Mama?"

You sighed, looking down at him, meeting his lustful stare. You shook your head, and whispered, "Stop teasing me."

"After all the teasing you've done this entire time?" He questions, slightly looking at you like you were crazy, and gives you his sexy smile along with shaking his head, "Nah, that's not how this works."

His finger trailed down your slit, tracing it through your shorts. Your boy was so hot, wanting even more, you knew that you were drenched down there.

"I don't think you understand who you're dealing with." He says carefully as he continues to trace the outlines of your pussy through your shorts, "When you tease me, your teasing Daddy.."

The way he said Daddy made your breathing pace quicken, and your heart beat faster. You didn't know much you could take.

"And when you tease Daddy, there's consequences." Roman presses harshly on clit, making all of your nerves shoot through your body. You bit your lip, closing your eyes trying not to utter a sound.

"You're going to learn not to mess with me," He kisses the inside of you thigh softly, "And you're going to learn what happens to pretty girls like you who don't wanna' listen." He leaves one last kiss on your other inner thigh before he pulls off your shorts, revealing your blue, soaked panties.

"So here's how it's going to go down, Princess." He rubs your clit gently, teasing you painfully, "I call the shots, and you're gonna' do what I say. You're going to listen to Daddy, and if you disobey me in the slightest, your punishment will get worse. Do you understand?"

You were at loss of words, and didn't know what else to say. You had absolutely no idea what you were in for, but you couldn't wait. He smacked your thigh, not too hard but to get your attention making you jump, "When I ask you something, you answer." He demanded in a raspy voice.

"Y-Yes." You stuttered, letting him take full of control of your body. Roman smirked, watching you unravel under his touch, "Good."

His eyes then trailed down your soaked pussy and his mouth watered, dying to get a peak and a taste. His captivating fingers started to move faster, massaging your clit and you couldn't help but squirm a little, and the minute he felt you move, he put his hand on top of your pelvic bone, holding you down.

"Don't move," Roman warned. You had no where to go, and you tried your best to keep still as he played with your pussy, but it was extremely hard too. You inhaled deeply, and a soft moan followed after not being able to hold in it anymore.

"You like that shit, don't you?" He chuckled darkly, finding your sweet moans very sexy. To drive you more wild, he lifted your panties to the side, revealing your pussy to the bleak air.

"Damn, baby. All this, for me?" He says, talking about your wetness. Your hand traveled over your sports bra, clenching your breast, not knowing what to do with yourself.

"Please.." You beg, Roman presses his thumb onto your clit, rubbing it slowly and his pace gradually gets faster.

"Already not listening to Daddy?" He questions, with an innocent expression however as he stares at you, he places a long, slow lick on your slit. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, and he stops there, sliding your panties off all the way and stands up.

"Get up," He orders. You follow his demands getting up off of the bench and he grabs a hold of your waist, bringing you close to him and smacks you ass.

"What did I tell you?" He whispers in your ear, with his hands briefly roaming your ass before he smacked it again, making you jump.

Before you could answer, without warning, his hand slips between the both of you, reaching your pussy and his finger slips inside of you. You gasp, tightly holding onto his shoulders and burried your face into his chest.

"Roman.." You moaned into his shirt as his skilled fingers had their way with you. Roman kissed your forehead, and then kissed your ear before he whispered.

"It's okay, baby." He cooed into your ear as his fingers moved fastly between your folds. "You wanna be bad and show out? That's fine. If you wanna' act like a brat, I'll treat you like one.

His fingers slipped out of your wetness and he turned the both of you around, laying on the bench and pulled you on top of him. He scooted upwards the bench as you straddled him and he motioned for you to come forward with his finger, "Sit on my face."

You sort of zoned out, not being able to prepare yourself for what was about to happen. Your pussy clenched just by his words, and your breath became shaky.

"I'm not asking you again." He warned intensely, and you snapped out of it, doing what he said and slowly adjusted yourself over his face. He grabbed your hips firmly, keeping you still as you held the weight bar for support.

Then, as you lowered yourself onto him, his tongue met your wetness and began exploring your folds like no tomorrow. You closed your eyes tightly shut, throwing your head back, not being able to think straight. He moved your hips back and forth, tasting every inch of you as you moaned uncontrollably. His tongue truly had a mind of its own, it moved so fast that you could barely think straight

Sounds of him tasting you echoed across the room, pushing you over the edge as he was lost between your folds. His tongue circled around you clit multiple times before taking it fully into his mouth, sucking the life out of your soul. His eyes trailed up your body and onto your facial expressions, getting even more hard at the love faces you were making. He loved the fact that he was making you feel good, trapped with no where to go. Roman would have fantasies like this all the time, and he's been wanting to do this to you for a long time. His dreams were coming true right before his eyes.

He slowed down his pace, and inserted his tongue inside of you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and he couldn't help but smile partly in response as he tongued your folds. He let go of your hips, and his hands slowly traveled inside of his shorts, pleasing himself as he let you take control.

"Ride my face." He said sexily, winking at you. You held the bar tightly, making your balance steady before you slowly started to bounce up and down his tongue gently.

"Oh my God.." You trailed off, whimpering, feeling yourself come close to the edge. If you kept going, you weren't going to be able to hold it any longer.

"I'm gonna' cum." You say, not being able to catch your breath. Roman groaned lowly against you, loving the way you tasted and from the pleasure he was giving himself. He let go of himself and placed his hands back on your hips, moving you faster.

"Cream all over my face, baby girl." He encouraged you, gripping your hips tightly, not daring to take his eyes off of you. His hand reached up your body, sneaking underneath your sports bra and massaged your breast. You closed you eyes shut, repeating the word yes yes yes over and over again before you finally reached your peak, along with your legs shaking slightly. He slowed down your movements, leaving one last kiss on your slit as you took deep breaths, trying to recover from your orgasm.

You got up slowly, swinging your leg around to get up off of him. Roman propped his elbows, helping himself get back up and he wasted no time in pulling you on top of his lap, kissing your lips passionately, and you giggled in response, which made him smile into the kiss. You took the opportunity to undo his hair from his bun, letting it all fall down to his shoulders as you tasted yourself on hips lips. As you continued to make out with him, he took your sports bra off and you helped him take off his shirt. His arms were wrapped securely around your body, picking you up from the bench and your legs were wrapped around his torso as he backed you up against the wall gently.

He let go of your legs carefully, setting you down on the exercise step-stool. You were now at his level, which was exactly where he wanted you to be.

Roman broke the kiss and grabbed your wrists, placing them above your head against the wall dominantly, he stared into your eyes, then looked you up and down slightly before leaning forward, whispering into your ear once more making your body lose all it's feeling.

"Hear me clearly, and hear me good." He directed you with ease, "You can't fool me, baby. I can tell just by the way you look at me, that I make you nervous. Whenever I have you this close to me, you get shy, and easily embarrassed. You can hardly look me in the eye half of the time because of how you feel towards me. I can read you like no one else can, and you're still doubting yourself. I've told you time, and time again how perfect you are. There's nothing about you I wouldn't change, and I'd give you the whole world if I could, if would you just give me a chance."

"I don't deserve you." You denied, looking away from him, with a hint of sadness in your voice trying to process everything he was saying. He remained holding the both of your wrists, kissing you cheek gently so you would look at him.

"Look at me," He pleaded softly. You eyes watered, and you hesitantly turned your head back at him.

"Stop saying that," Roman rested his forehead against yours. "You complete me, you always have."

You stare at him lovingly, feeling like you could get emotional by his words alone despite how good he made you feel. No one has ever made you feel the way he did, and at times he seemed too good to be true. That's why you often thought that you weren't good enough for him. You weren't shocked by him feeling the same way, because you knew he did, but you were shocked at how after all this time, you were so close to getting what you wanted, which was him.

Roman leaned forward, pecking your lips sweetly, and pulled away a little from you to take off his shorts along with his briefs, showing himself to you. You're eyes slightly widened at the sight, and your breath thickened as you saw him stroke himself slowly, aligning his dick to your entrance.

"Let Daddy please you.." He slapped his dick gently onto your pussy, making you squirm underneath his grasp, biting your lip as you both stared intensely at each other. Roman grabbed your right leg, placing it over his shoulder so he could have more access to you. He loved where he had you, especially loving you flexible you were, "Let me show you how much I love you. I don't care how loud you scream, how much you squirm or how badly you can't take it anymore. I won't stop until I have you cumming over, and over again. You will say my name, and you will acknowledge me. Listen, shut the fuck up, and take this dick."

Without warning, he slams inside you, causing your mouth to fall wide open and your eyes to roll back in pleasure. There was a little bit of pain since you were caught off guard, but not a whole lot. He groans, cursing under his breath and tightens his grip on your wrists, "You're so tight, babygirl. Shit.." He trails off as he slowly thrusts into you.

You bit your lip so hard that you started to feel blood drip from how harsh you attacked it, trying to be quiet like he said. Roman closed his eyes in pure bliss from how good you were making him feel. He loosed his grip on your wrist, letting one of your hands fall down while his other hand interlaced with yours on the wall as he kept stroking you. He leaned his forehead onto yours again, kissing you deeply as he continued to stroke you.

You wanted him to go faster, you were dying for him to go faster. You broke the kiss, throwing your head back, trying your hardest not to moan but there was no way you could hold it in anymore. Roman took the opportunity to leave kisses on your neck, and whisper nasty things to you.

"You feel so fucking good, my sweet girl." He moaned into your ear deeply, breathing heavily. You felt him inch closer and closer to your G-spot and you couldn't help but blurt out a sound of love, and Roman chuckled darkly, licking your earlobe slowly, "Whatchu' gotta say now, huh? You like the way Daddy's deep inside you? Making love to you? You love that shit? Yeah? Talk to me."

"Roman.." You beg, not being able to take it anymore. "Stop teasing me, baby. Please."

"Then say my name." He growled into you ear, with bass in his voice, "You hear me? Say, my name. Beg for it. Beg."

"I want you to go faster, please. I'm begging you." You're eyes started to gloss over from how good you were feeling, "Please, Daddy. Fuck me." You shakily whisper into his ear, and he instantly switches positions. He brings your leg down gently, and picks you up while he's still inside you. You wrap your legs around his waist tightly with your arms around his shoulders, and his hand firmly on your ass, holding you up.

"Hold on tight," Roman warns you briefly before railing up into you roughly, bouncing you up and down his dick. You screamed so loud that the neighbors could've heard you from so far away, but you didn't care, neither of you did. He was making you feel so, extremely good that it nearly made you want to pass out, you never had dick like this before, ever.

You held onto him tightly, running your fingers through his hair as he continued to fuck you. Both of you muttered insanely dirty things to each other back and forth the entire time while heavily breathing, moaning loudly. The pleasure was so overwhelming that tears began to roll down your face.

"Fuck, yes." You sighed heavily, and whimpered in ecstasy, "Don't stop, baby. Please please please." You repeatedly fastly, feeling yourself about to finish.

"Who's pussy is this?" He questions, squeezing your ass harshly, going even faster.

"It's yours, Daddy." You answer helplessly, starting to lose a little energy from how good he was giving it to you.

"And who do you belong to?"

"You, I'm all yours." You promise him. Your eyes slowly started to shut and your climax was building faster and faster, "Shit, I'm gonna cum."

"Cum," He egged you on. "Cum all over this dick."

Once he said the words, you held him even tighter than before and let your climax take over. You shook a little bit, trying to catch your breath. Roman's wickedly fast strokes came to a stop, slowing down, and kissed your cheek before sitting down on the exercise stool with him still inside of you but you were still on top of him.

He put his hands on your hips, trying to guide you but you put your hands on his wrist, wanting him to stop. You didn't think you could take anymore. Roman shook his head with a tired smirk, running his tongue over his bottom lip, "Don't even try running away, you're not done. Keep fucking going, you don't stop until I tell you too."

Since you were a still sensitive from your last orgasm, you goosebumps and shivers jolted across your body as you continued to ride his dick slowly. It was really hard, and you could barely keep a rhythm going, but Roman helped guide to since he knew that. As you threw your head back, he leaned down and took your nipple into his mouth, alternating between the both of them occasionally. His hand trailed down your ass, squeezing it, wanting you to pick up the pace.

"Come on, put in that work. You wanted this dick so bad, take it." He whispered lustfully to you, staring into your eyes and was about two inches away from your face. As you picked up the pace and went faster, Roman's eyes fell shut and he bit his lip, leaning his head against the wall.

"Fuck," He moaned, emphazing the word and dragging it out as your hips circled. Roman looked beyond sexy, and you couldn't take your eyes off of him. Just looking his reaction to how you were making him feel, it could make you cum again right then and there.

"Just like that, lil' Mama." He brought you closer to him, embracing you as he continued to ride him. Then, to bring you and himself close to the edge, he pinned your shoulders down and railed up into you, getting close.

"You're gonna' make me fucking cum." He groaned lowly into your ear as you continued to moan uncontrollably into his, "You want this nut? You wanna' have my kids, baby?"

You nodded quickly, clinging onto him as you felt another orgasm approaching you. You couldn't even cry anymore, you were so out of it that you couldn't even explain what you were feeling, "Cum inside me, Daddy." You begged.

He stroked harshly a couple more times before they eventually became sloppy, getting ready to release inside of you. Your G-Spot was hit just enough by the Samoan, making you cum all over again, but this time with him. Both of you moaned loudly, trying to catch your breath and held onto each other tightly, trying to come down from your high.

Then, you both heard the doorbell ring, making you both jump and pull apart from each other. You both looked towards the gym door and back at each other. You grinned, trying to hold back a laugh and he did the same, but you both ended up laughing. He grabbed your face, adoring your smile and infectious laugh, "You're so beautiful." He gushes to you as he kisses your lips tenderly. You smile into the kiss, kissing him back and pulled away partly.

"Do you think anyone heard us?" You asked, he shrugged, squeezing the life out of you, making you laugh again.

"I don't know, but if they did, I don't care." He pecked your lips twice, and hugged you, nuzzling his face into your neck.

"I love you so much." He says with his chest, meaning every word he said.

You smiled softly, rubbing circles on his back gently, and your heart warmed. You wanted nothing more than to hear him say that, you felt complete.

"I love you more."

➰

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sagehaleyofficial · 3 years

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HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED THIS WEEK (12.16-12.22.20):

NEW MUSIC:

After releasing their latest single “That Won’t Save Us,” Against the Current dropped an acoustic version of the track. The video was directed by Jade Ehlers, who also photographed the single’s cover artwork.

Enter Shikari released a new music video for their song “T. I. N. A”., which comes off of their latest album Nothing is True and Everything is Possible. The music video was directed by Matthew Taylor.

Good Charlotte released their first new music in two years, an emotional song titled “Last December.” Their last music was released in 2018 in the form of Generation Rx.

Cane Hill released their second song since becoming an independent band, titled “Kill Me.” The track follows their previous single “Power of the High,” both of which will be featured on what is presumed to be a new album called Krewe de la Morte.

Beartooth released a remixed and remastered version of their second album Aggressive. After selling out on vinyl almost instantly, the new version was officially uploaded to streaming services.

Mayday Parade released a new Christmas song, titled “I'm With You.” The band went on to perform the song live from the Decatur City Church in Georgia.

After releasing their album Sudden Sky last year, Crown the Empire debuted a new music video for their song “Red Pills.” The band recently put out another visual for the song “Blurry (Out of Place).”

The Maine’s John O'Callaghan released a new song under his solo project John the Ghost. The song, titled “Live Once,” follows the previous single “Rolled Down Window,” which was released earlier this year.

TOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Jimmy Eat World announced a new concert series, where they will be playing numerous albums in full, titled “The Phoenix Sessions.” The band will be performing their albums Surviving, Futures and Clarity.

“A Bowie Celebration: Just for One Day!” was recently announced, organized by the late singer’s longtime pianist Mike Garson. The lineup features The Smashing Pumpkins’ Billy Corgan, Halestorm’s Lzzy Hale, Jane's Addiction’s Perry Farrell and Yungblud.

After performing a livestream of their debut album White Noise in full, PVRIS announced they will be playing their second album in full on January 9, 2021. The album, All We Know of Heaven, All We Need of Hell, was first released in 2017.

To celebrate the 10-year anniversary of their album Hold Me Down, You Me at Six will be performing two special live events. The shows will be held on July 6-7, 2021, at Pryzm in Kingston, England.

Lizzy Farrall performed a cover of The Beastie Boys’ classic hit “Sabotage” during her set at Five4Five Fest. The singer released her full-length debut album Bruise earlier this year via Pure Noise Records.

OTHER NEWS:

Waterparks released a new “pop-up event” educational video for their latest single “Lowkey as Hell.” The informative video is packed with random facts about the band.

After 178 days, Twenty One Pilots ended their never-ending video for their single “Level of Concern.” The video in question recently set the Guinness World Record for the longest music video of all time.

The Teenage Cancer Trust revealed details of a special Christmas raffle. The Christmas Rocks giveaway features prizes donated by Bring Me the Horizon, Don Broco, Enter Shikari, Architects, Bullet for My Valentine and Twin Atlantic.

I Don’t Know How but They Found Me reached the No. 1 spot on the U.S. Alternative Radio chart. Their song “Leave Me Alone” knocked All Time Low’s “Monsters” off the top spot, which they held for several weeks.

___

Check in next Tuesday for more “Posi Talk with Sage Haley,” only at @sagehaleyofficial!

#sage haley #posi talk #mayday parade #waterparks #twenty one pilots #idkhow #idkhbtfm #against the current #enter shikari #good charlotte #cane hill #beartooth #crown the empire #the maine #jimmy eat world #pvris #you me at six #lizzy farrall

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enbycalicocat · 3 years

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Day 4: 30th of January, 2021

June had called his older brother as soon as he had the free time to do so. Which was hours and hours after the presentation. But that was alright. His brother knew how hectic being a trainee was and had patience with June's late-night calls. Also, the performance was practically engraved in the teen's mind so there was no risk of him forgetting any detail about it. It had been that amazing.

Before he could go over Jimmie's presentation for the nth time that day, July's happy voice rang in his ear.

"Hey! Little bro! How are you? I haven't heard from you these past few days."

The heart in June's chest skipped a beat and he felt like it had grown in size and couldn't fit inside him anymore. He was really happy right now. He'd had an amazing day. And on top of that he really missed his big brother and liked talking to him when he allowed himself to call.

However, outwardly, June showed none of it.

"Hi bro," he said in the most nonchalant and bored tone of voice he could muster right now. He wanted to show how excited he was, but he'd only seen little kids being that exuberant. June was not a kid. He was going to be fifteen in just a few months. Plus, in a few years he would be eighteen. He was almost an adult. And he wanted to be treated as such. Hence, he’d stopped doing what he considered kid behaviors and began imitating the adults in his life. Most of them were very serious, and didn't really show their emotions on their faces. Like Summer. That was what he strived for. As for his older brother... Well, he was just a seven-year-old kid in a big body, in June's opinion. "I'm good. Been busy."

July chuckled. His little brother was the funniest, most amusing thing that had ever happened to him. He knew June, had watched him grown up and watched him enter his current 'perpetually uninterested' phase, and knew for a fact that he was trying to act cool. Actually, June had been trying to act cool for a while now, that was nothing new. Today, though, the bored tone sounded even more forced than usual, so, July knew something really good had happened.

"I see," he said with the same happy tone, trying to hide how much fun he was having at June's expense. Someday his little bro would grow and July would tell him all about how much he laughed internally. That day, July would also (hopefully!) stop having to painstakingly pull the good news out of him. "So, what did you do today? I mean apart from your boring middle school classes and the exhausting company schedule, did something interesting happen?"

If he didn't make the distinction, he feared June would purposely stall mentioning the thing he did want to talk about.

"Umm," June said as if he was trying to find something interesting in his mind-numbingly average day.

What happened today? The most amazing and beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life! And the biggest coincidence that has happened to me yet!

Would July even believe him when June told him?

"Nothing much," he said instead. Still disinterested. "Oh, yeah. One of my band members had some sort of dance thing today."

"Dance thing? You mean a dance presentation?" Aha! So, the good thing was related to that 'dance thing'.

Hang on a…

"Dance?" July asked out loud, June's words suddenly sinking in. "The only one you've told me that dances is Hobart. But I didn't know he performed on stage?"

"Not Hobi," June corrected. "It was a school dance thing."

"School? You have a band member that goes to school and dances? I thought only Taelyn went to school still?"

"Bro," June said clearly annoyed, "I told you about this. Did you even listen? The new guy is Tae's age. And he dances."

Really, June hadn't called his brother very often since Jimmie arrived two weeks ago. But he had called at least twice, and he had mentioned Jimmie. There was no way he hadn't when the older boy was the coolest person he'd known ever.

"Ah, right, I remember now!" July hurried to say, noticing that his brother was seriously angry. Note to self: Remember this new guy from now on. He's important. Very important. The older boy decided to quickly change the topic. "So, he had a dance presentation at school today? That's great! How was it? How was he?"

June went quickly over Jimmie's dance.

The way his body moved so elegantly, so perfectly in time with the music, so fitting for the melody, as if the music itself was the one controlling him.

Combining the dance and the music with the lights, they had managed to achieve some very neat tricks with shadows and the feeling the dance gave off; and Jimmie had seemed unreal, like some ethereal mythological deity.

The costume Jimmie had been wearing consisted of tight trousers, probably lycra or tights, that made the way his leg muscles shifted, tensed, and relaxed glaringly obvious; and the shirt had... Cleavage? It was a v-cut shirt, but the vertex was really low on his chest, showing his clavicles and a part of the dip his sternum caused between his pecs.

On top of that, the dance required Jimmie to often lower his head and chest, making the loose flowy shirt gape and show a tiny hint of his flat navel.

And then, at the end, the light had made Jimmie's sweat shine on top of his skin, making him look even more like some fantastical creature instead of a simple sixteen-year-old boy.

"Bro? You there?" July asked. Of course, he knew June was there. He could hear him breathing. But the silence had gone on too long, and he had to draw the teen out of his mind. Mentally, to that note he'd made before, he added another few 'very's to the ‘very important’ remark.

"It was good." The 'I could absolutely care even less' tone of voice didn't fool July for a single second. But June patted himself on the back for managing to reign in his desire to rant excitedly like a four-year-old.

July laughed out loud, because if he didn't, he might start crying. Could June please hurry up and get over this teen phase of his? July was patient but he was no saint and he was getting fed up of June’s stalling. "That's it? That's actually it? How am I supposed to know what the presentation was like from just a simple good?"

"Fine.” His little brother sounded like he would rather do anything else than try to find words to explain the performance. “The music was kinda good. They did some sort of light tricks or something? It was cool, I guess. The dance was not boring and repetitive, so kudos for that or whatever.” The teen sighed tiredly. “Like I said. It was good."

July was deeply impressed. That was the longest description he'd gotten from June in a while. He went back to that mental note and underlined it.

"Ah, I see. How was he, though? Did he perform well?"

Perfectly.

June had heard from Jimmie that he'd apparently made some mistakes in the choreography. Which was why the boy had been practicing the dance and going over every move and step meticulously in the corner of their practice room when June went out to call his brother in private. The younger boy had not seen or noticed any glaringly obvious mistakes, and he had been watching closely.

"He was okay." He even shrugged as if his brother could see him through the phone somehow.

In his mind, July added a second line under the already underlined note.

"That's great for him then!" He was genuinely happy. Not just because this boy had done well, but because his brother had been moved by something. That didn't happen often. "Do you know if it was his first time on stage? Or has he done these types of performances before?"

June practically vibrated in his seat from how happy and ecstatic he felt. Once more, his heart grew without his consent and his chest was too small to hold it. This was the biggest thing that had happened today.

"He's from Busset, I guess. He's done some shows there with the Busset High School of Arts or something."

The name of the school activated multiple alarms in July's brain. Busset High School of Arts? Wasn't that...

"The school your friends attended? The one you practically lived in? And the moment they announced a new show you'd drag us all over to watch it?"

"It was not like that." June glared at the wall in front of him and felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment and shame.

"Huh, so he went to that school. I see. What a coincidence." July ignored June completely, not even teasing him like he would usually. He'd gotten the information he wanted. The puzzle he'd been trying to piece together and solve slowly taking shape. He went over all the little details he'd gotten out of his brother so far and suddenly an idea came to him.

"Hey, bro, you didn't happen to see some of his presentations here in Busset, did you?"

July was finally asking the questions June wanted to answer. The thing that had him almost bouncing off the walls.

He did. He knew Jimmie. Like he had actually seen him, talked to him, and hung out together before. Not only had he seen him in presentations. June actually knew the boy from before he started studying contemporary dance. He had really liked Jimmie back then. He'd even preferred spending time with him than with his actual friends. That had been before he came to the capital a year ago. They'd never exchanged numbers or anything. They didn't even know each other’s names, they'd just used some silly nicknames their school friends had given them. At the present time, June understood why Jimmie had gone by a nickname rather than his own name; it was the same reason June had done it: neither liked their names very much.

And now that same boy was here! In the capital! In the same band as him!

June thanked his brother in his heart because otherwise he didn't know how he would bring the topic up and if he didn't tell someone he might explode.

"Huh." June pretended to think. "Well, now that you mention it... He seems sort of familiar, I guess?"

Holy crap, June had actually seen the boy dance before! And then he went to the capital! And they both ended up in the same company!

July now understood June's excitement. His little brother used to adore the very ground those dancers stood on. He admired them so much and religiously attended all their performances. And July actually had a couple of friends in that school too. Wait! Another idea flashed by his mind.

"Did you happen to run into him or something? It would be really cool if you two had a common friend and met back in Busset."

"Weeeell..." June said like he was really exercising his brain and he was not at all certain about what he was going to say. All while somehow managing to sound like he didn't give a rat's ass about the whole conversation and idea. "I think he might've been friends with Joe, or something." July didn’t need to be there to know his brother was shrugging. "Like I said, he looks familiar."

Double holy crap! June had actually been friends with this boy! And now they met again!

July couldn't believe how small the world was. Fate seriously worked in the weirdest ways. It really seemed like something out of a cliché romance television show.

"That's so cool! I bet you're really excited to have met him again. I'm really happy for you little bro. Now you actually have an old friend from Busset there for you. Not that your capital friends aren't good to you or anything, but this guy knows you from your school days, so he's known you longer, and he's from the same town as you. He'll probably understand you a lot better than the other guys."

"Bro." From June's tone of voice July could practically see him rolling his eyes so hard that it most likely physically hurt. "It's not that big of a deal. I mean, whatever. Anyway, there was also this sort of... Meeting, I guess? With the company's CEO. He told us that..."

As the topic of the conversation shifted entirely off the new boy, July smiled. He then proceeded to circle five times the note he'd made before. Hmm. Let's circle it one more time.

Prompt: 4. Share the most incredible thing you’ve ever seen in the most boring tone possible.

Previous Day Next Day

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andrewuttaro · 5 years

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New Look Sabres: 2019 Free Agency

The wise words of noted NHL insider Elliotte Friedman go “When you’re drowning in this league other teams don’t throw you a life jacket, they throw you an anchor.” In spite of a handful of decent to great players getting traded in the last few weeks for peanuts, generally speaking it’s very hard to pull off a trade that is a lopsided win for your team. Free Agency is worse. Free Agency is like opening a septic tank looking for a diamond ring and jumping in expecting not to get covered in shit. The last big Free Agency signing the Sabres pulled off was Kyle Okposo. All the off-ice stuff you want to say about the Sex Man aside: that contract sucks ass. It was bad the moment it was signed. That’s what most free agency signings are like. Jason Botterill approaches this offseason publicly saying he wants to focus more on the trade avenue. That’s smart. I’d prefer he not give out too much money in free agency like his predecessor did with Okposo. However we are a fanbase that has run out of patience eight years out of the playoffs. Significant roster moves are paramount right now. How we got here is actually pretty simple. The tank worked (let’s not relitigate it) and rebuild 1.0 was accelerated by Tim Murray with the Ryan O’Reilly and Evander Kane signings at the cost of a wave of prospects and picks. Rebuild 1.0 failed. That failed initial rebuild was what brought Kyle Okposo here as a free agent. He’s now our very own salary cap albatross circling in the skies above the nearly dead Buffalo Sabres that were so stripped down in the tank they’re aimless even with some talent on the roster. We’ve all run out of patience. Rebuild 2.0 under Jason Botterill has gone better but, and this is a big but, the second half collapse of last season was decisive. It ended Phil Housley’s coaching career in Buffalo, and it burned a lot of the fan goodwill Jason Botterill had held onto through the legendarily bad season that earned us Rasmus Dahlin. Another bad season probably costs Botterill his job. This is the situation that gave birth to the buzzword of Sabres twitter: “Roster Surgery”. Bill Schake analyzed it best. Chad DeDominicis’ right hand man essentially said roster surgery is a great way to put it because there is so few tradeable assets left on this team it will take some cunning, creative moves to make real change. It’s truly surgery of the roster because its hard. It’s going to be harder than it’s ever been in the Eichel Era this summer to make this team look competitive past Valentine’s Day. So what changes do we have to talk about as we enter the long, dull portion of the NHL hockey calendar?

Well… Rasmus Ristolainen was the one big tradeable asset I was alluding to… and this past weekend… the Sabres signed Marcus Johansson. Ok so, the trade we’ve been waiting for didn’t happen before the posting of this article. Lord knows it will after this goes up and I’ll have to wait until the Offseason Retrospective to write about it. But let’s not poo-poo a great signing just because it’s not a trade we want. In fact, this specific blog is called 2019 Free Agency so let’s talk about Free Agents for a bit. Marcus Johansson, apart from adding yet another Swede to one of the most swede-heavy rosters in the National Hockey League, adds much needed left-wing depth to the top six. He’s considered a veteran at 28 and has only gotten to twenty goals twice in his nine seasons in the NHL. Nonetheless he was kind of the best guy left to add to the wing for the Sabres once July 1st came and went with pretty much only AHL-level moves. Johansson is defensively responsible and gets those zone entries which is something this team needs guys not named Jack Eichel to do better. Also he is apparently known for his versatility. He hasn’t played at center in recent seasons but that is a trick in the hat knowing Casey Mittelstadt may still not be ready for that 2C slot. That is the topic of some Sabres twitter debate but it seems rather immaterial right now to me with so much offseason left to go. The natural next topic of conversation here feels like it should be Jimmy Vesey and Colin Miller. However, those are technically trades although they were so well extracted they almost feel like signings. As I said earlier, I’m all for not giving up too much money in free agency, particularly if the team isn’t exactly “going for it” right now. So how about I rattle off the free agent signings Jason Botterill did make on July 1st in spite of most of them being long shots for the NHL roster: Goalie Andrew Hammond, Center Curtis Lazar, defenseman John Gilmour, Jean-Sebastien Dea and sorta Dalton Smith (Smith was an Amerk this past season and was resigning technically). Those first two guys are the ones you’re thinking of. Andrew Hammond was the “Hamburgler” in Ottawa a few seasons ago and Curtis Lazar was the guy who ate a hamburger off the ice during that same craze. Just like the Ottawa Senators both guys have not been all that good since. Hammond is the better of the two and is probably going to platoon it in net with Ukko Pekka-Lukkonen in Rochester this coming season. Lazar… is worth a shot I guess. John Gilmour was one of the better AHL defensemen for the Hartford Wolfpack last season and I’m told has the best chance of the group to make the big club. The other two guys I just don’t feel any need to talk about. That feeling is not because they’re minor league moves: you dipsticks complaining about the Front Office making moves mostly helping Rochester need to cool your jets and count your blessings! Take a good hard long look at that Okposo contract and then shut up!

I spent most of last year’s Free Agency article ranting about the Ryan O’Reilly trade. After how his season ended this year that whole conversation turned into a toxic waste dump a la your local minor league baseball franchise announcing a Pride Night on Facebook to absolutely terrible comments from the most bigoted boomers on the internet. I won’t be addressing O’Reilly because I feel we’ve done that to death. This is Buffalo Hockey though so of course there is another retread conversation fraught with potential toxicity to talk about: Jimmy Vesey. First things first, don’t hold three years ago against him. That move for his negotiating rights was the kind of stupid but exciting move that Tim Murray specialized in. That saga doesn’t matter now because Vesey is an established pro now and if we’re being totally real here the players don’t care. Jack Eichel is just happy to have another BU guy, I’m sure! Bury those bad takes next to your Leino jerseys. Nothing screams top line about Vesey’s game so don’t pencil him in right next to Eichel as if it’s a sure thing. I’ve heard him called a middle six acquisition which I think is a great way to put it. We’ll see what Training Camp holds for him. Colin Miller on the other hand you can definitely pencil in as a top four pairing defenseman. He isn’t clearly the best line mate for Rasmus Dahlin but he’s a strong candidate. His trade to Buffalo for a 2021 second round pick and a 2022 fifth round pick is Botts picking on a team in cap jail more than what you might call highway robbery. It’s kinda funny that team in cap jail is the Vegas Golden Knights but after the 2018-2019 St. Louis Blues happened I’m sure they’ll be back in the Final next year. On this team Miller is second only to Rasmus Dahlin on the defensive depth chart and top of the right-handed side of that chart. There are four right-handed defenseman who are NHL likely now beyond Miller: Brandon Montour, Zach Bogosian and Rasmus Ristolainen. The talk about a Ristolainen trade went up naturally after the Miller trade and yes, I’m still on the fence about it. I don’t need him gone, especially with a new coach coming in, but I don’t want 2022 to get here and everyone in the league know he’s ass and end up trading him for a couple of late round picks. If we’re going to get a king’s ransom for Ristolainen, it’s probably this summer or the 2020 trade deadline at the absolute latest. By the time you’re reading this the deal may already be done. Oh, I forgot to mention the Miller trade pissed off Leafs fans! I love pissing off Leafs fans. Fuck them, right?

So there it is: New Look Sabres 2019 Free Agency! Well… how about some fun signings not related to the Sabres? Even after the Leafs traded away Nazem Kadri for a decent to good defenseman there are still smart folks up there saying the Leafs are worse man-for-man compared to last year. Delicious! Robin Lehner openly declared his displeasure for how the Islanders let him go before signing with the Chicago Blackhawks. That’s interesting on two levels because the Isles probably aren’t done this offseason in a big way and Lehner now goes from a great defensive team on Long Island to a very porous defensive system in Chicago. We’ll see how it works out for him; I kinda want him to succeed still but one way or another we’ll see if last season was a fluke or not. Tyler Ennis singed with the Ottawa Senators. That maybe the one weirder jersey to see him in then Toronto. Finally Mike Smith goes from Flames to Oilers while Cam Talbot goes from Oilers to Flames. Should we call that Albertan Roulette? Bringing back home to Buffalo please like, share and comment on this blog. Get that hype going for the new season. I won’t be writing much on this blog until late August, but I think that’s okay because we all could use a break from Hockey. Also if you really want my Sabres takes you can always get them @UttaroSports on twitter. In the meantime, enjoy the summer! Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Linus Ullmark was among the Sabres who filed for salary arbitration. I could’ve used this PS to talk about Remi Elie electing for arbitration which is much more humorous but Ullmark is my boy, so I hope everything goes over well for him come these hearings in… August. Huh. Let the long summer begin!

#hockey #blog #nhl #buffalo sabres

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classyfoxdestiny · 3 years

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'Gutfeld!' on masks, Chicago's mayor

This is a rush transcript from “Gutfeld!,” July 27, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. ADAM SCHIFF (D-CA): We’re so driven by bigotry and hate that we attack our fellow citizens as traitors. If they’re born in another country, or they don’t look like us. God help us.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Yes, God help us. It’s amazing a weasel can produce crocodile tears.

Yes. It’s time. It is time once again for.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Everything is racist.

GUTFELD: It’s true. First step, remember the Chicago mayor who looks like she hasn’t slept since 1972? I can’t blame her. In that city the constant gunfire will keep anyone up at night. Lori Lightfoot racist continues to defend your decision to only speak with non-white reporters. You know, because that’s what racists do.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MAYOR LORI LIGHTFOOT (D), CHICAGO: I would absolutely do it again. And I’m unapologetic about it because it spurred a very important conversation. A conversation that needed to happen, that should have happened long time ago.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: You know, she’s right. Her racist behavior spurred a very important conversation about how racist she is. I love that logic. Now watch me start a dialogue on arson with these oil soaked rags and a Bic lighter. Sure people died. But look how much we’ve learned about the importance of smoke alarms. But it makes perfect sense coming from a leftist because to them talk is more important than action.

And Lightfoot much prefers the race conversation over the crime one. She’s the Andrew Cuomo of Chicago, only her bodies aren’t piling up in nursing homes. They’re piling up in the streets, and they’re brown and they’re black. And they’re young. Imagine if she were white. People would start asking questions like is this deliberate, but dare criticize her over her record, you know what she’s going to say?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Mayor, in recent months, you know, there have been questions raised about your temperament and your reaction to criticism. Tribune editorial, use the term irascible. How much of this do you think might have to do with the fact that you’re a woman’s and specifically a black woman?

LIGHTFOOT: About 99 percent of it. Women and people of color are always held to a different standard. I understand that. I’ve known that my whole life.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Why isn’t it 100 percent? Her answers are as predictable as Kat’s hangovers. But according to Lightfoot pointing out her record is racist. Then again to her pointing out that she has food on her face is racist. Takes a special person presiding over mass murder to think that they’re the victim. She expects you to bleed to death on the pavement. Grateful your mayor is not some old white guy. But you know what else is racist? Comedy.

According to racist author of white fragility, Robin D’Angelo.

ROBIN D’ANGELO, AUTHOR, WHITE FRAGILITY: So comedy is — I think it’s an excuse to get to be racist, right? Like irony and I think T.V. shows like Family Guy and South Park and maybe a little bit The Simpsons, right? Allowed white people to be racist self-consciously, right? Like, I know I’m being racist, and therefore, it doesn’t count and it’s OK.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Who better to tell us what’s funny than someone who has stage four cancer of the funny bone? This grifter wouldn’t know funny if you gave her the F-U-N-N on Wheel of Fortune. So funny white people are racist, cool, and writing a book generalizing about white people isn’t. And what’s more fragile than someone who can’t take a joke. Think about it. The loudest voices shouting about racial inequality are often a weak need virtue signaling Caucasians.

Yet what have they done to correct the injustice and the inequality? Besides putting a BLM sign in their front yard and a rainbow coexist bumper sticker on their Tesla? Isn’t the time they resign their jobs to make room and correct this injustice every lily white leftist in a comfy editorial position at a magazine or a T.V. show or college. It’s time to move on and fix your privilege.

Anna Wintour Say hello to Vanessa Bush. Jimmy Kimmel say hello to Chris Tucker. Paul Krugman say hello to Coleman Hughes and Chris Cuomo say hello to Candace Owens. I wonder what the angry black male has to say.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TYRUS, FOX NATION HOST: On behalf of me today I’m ready today. Hi. All right kids. Let me break this down for you. I got a yellow apple. Hi. I got a green apple. Hi. What? You don’t talk to yellow apples because of yellow? All right (INAUDIBLE) being a racist. You should have known better, right? I want to talk to you unless you’re yellow. You don’t. You should have known better. Racist ass apple. Still good though. That’s up.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Nicely done. So if you’re white and find race, find everything, it’s time to put your money where your motor mouth is. Get out. If you’re, you know, you’re big on a $15.00 minimum wage, so give it a try. How great would it be to have Brian Stelter say to you, you know, you want to supersize that? Just check your fries before you leave. But if you don’t quit, then clearly you’re the racist, thinking you deserve that job over a person of color.

So until all white leftists resign their jobs, we must all hold them accountable. If they’re step up or shut up. Let’s start by demanding that every white person at CNN resigned immediately. But then again with their ratings. Who’s going to notice?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. There’s no copay to see her tonight. Fox News Medical Doctor, Janette Nesheiwat. Nesheiwat. He’s got to face for comedy and the looks of a Starbucks barista. WesternRazor.com spokesman David Angelo. Yes. Once you get to know her, she’s even worse. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf. And if he says he’s so hungry, he could eat a horse. Hide your horse. My massive sidekick and host of “NUFF SAID” on Fox Nation, Tyrus.

Since the topic is comedy, David, I want to go to you first. As a racist comedian, do you think comedians are all racist?

DAVID ANGELO, WESTERN RAZOR.COM SPOKESMAN: No. I know. I do think it is funny though, that the de facto expert on racism in America right now is this white woman.

GUTFELD: Yes.

ANGELO: It’s like, guys, we need to elevate the voices of, you know, people of color and all this stuff. And then she just comes in like, hey, I got — I’ll handle these questions. Let me take the — lead on this, all right?

GUTFELD: Yes.

ANGELO: I would love to know how many black people live within five miles of Robin de Angelo’s house. Can we get a survey on that?

GUTFELD: Yes. I actually — I actually have the facts here, David. I’m glad you asked.

ANGELO: There’s no way.

GUTFELD: Yes. It’s true. She’s like the — what you call the white racist whisper. Right? She’s like, I know what they’re thinking. That’s what — that’s how she got famed.

ANGELO: Yes. I mean, a lot of them. They do it today. I think they have latent racist feelings. And they do this is like overcompensation or something. But yes. Here’s the thing. As annoying as she is, I still don’t want — I still do always try to like better myself. So if there’s like things like, you know, I do really — sincerely I’m like, is there things I can do, but she’s so obnoxious and they go so over the top. I think it actually hurts a lot of the reflection normal people would have because it’s so much of it.

GUTFELD: There might be — yes, there might be some — there might be something there that we — everybody could do better. But when you become – – when the person becomes a parody, it’s like you can’t — if she’s funnier than Family Guy. Her book is better than the Simpsons. I mean, it — she is absolutely hysterical. All right. Doctor, good to see you. I butchered your — I butchered —

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Nesheiwat.

GUTFELD: Yes. It was supposed to be Geswhat, Nesheiwat.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: And then I just lost the T.

JANETTE NESHEIWAT, FOX NEWS MEDICAL DOCTOR: That’s OK. It’s a good one. My sister — my mom, she’s like, just tell them it’s Jeanette Guess what Nesheiwat and I’ve had that all my life and it’s always worked. So —

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Have you thought about changing your name or something like Smith?

NESHEIWAT: Well, maybe shorten it a little bit if it’s easier for you.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. You know, we had a chat in the greenroom. I have a little bit of heartburn and you said I should get an EKG.

NESHEIWAT: Yes, that’s right.

GUTFELD: That’s a lot for heartburn.

NESHEIWAT: Well, it’s how do we know it’s heartburn? Little chest pain, a little pressure, a little nausea. Just want to be safe. We got to protect you, Greg. We want people healthy.

GUTFELD: What if I —

(CROSSTALK)

NESHEIWAT: Now we could use one of — one of David’s razors to shave all the hair on the chest.

ANGELO: Thank you. Thank you for the plug.

NESHEIWAT: For the EKG.

GUTFELD: What if I thought that somebody close to me at work might be putting ground up glass in my oatmeal?

NESHEIWAT: No, who could that be? Who would do that to you? Tyrus.

GUTFELD: So you — the United States was a patient, right? And you see this constant obsession with race and everything. What would be your prognosis as a doctor? Are you worried?

NESHEIWAT: Well, I think first of all, there is no room for racism, no matter what. We can’t fight racism with racism. But when it comes to comedy, I mean, that’s it. That’s what makes it a little bit edgy. And, you know, American needs to lighten up a little bit. That’s what makes us laugh. And of course, laughter is the best medicine.

GUTFELD: Oh. I’ve never heard that before. I’ve never heard that before. You stay out of this.

TIMPF: Well, OK. Like if you want me to I can go back home. I was gone for a while. And you were — you did miss me. Well I wouldn’t be back.

GUTFELD: Well, yes, that missing wore off. Let’s be honest.

TIMPF: Oh, OK. Yes.

GUTFELD: Oh, it took us two days. You know, Tyrus, I never saw a man crushing Apple with his hands.

TYRUS: You haven’t?

GUTFELD: No.

TYRUS: Well, now you have. You know, what we’re seeing is whenever these racist notice — they notice racism they talk really loud, but they say absolutely nothing. When Lightfoot was asked a question like, why did you do that? And I’m unapologetic, because it started a conversation about a conversation that needed to happen. Please follow up question again. I think on a journalist school, what’s the conversation?

Well, the conversation is a conversation about potential conversations. So we’re talking about — you can’t ask me that. Racist? Being racist is meaningless now. Racist is a new term for somebody you don’t like.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: It has nothing to do with skin color. It’s just — I — what? You disagree with me, racist. And even it’s like, why not white racist crime now? It’s like, everybody’s a racist. So if everyone is a racist, nobody’s really racist.

GUTFELD: Right.

TYRUS: So, you know —

GUTFELD: That’s good for David.

ANGELO: Yes. Thank god.

TYRUS: But the only thing was, you can’t — and you can’t be a little bit racist.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Family Guy, racist. Since then they’re a little bit racist, you’re either all in or you all out? You don’t wear half a Klan mask. You know what I’m saying? Like, you know, it’s just ridiculous to the fact that we – – they play on this because the reason why they can’t talk about it is because they have no experience with it. And that’s the beautiful thing is when people have to make (BLEEP) up about what’s racist, because they haven’t experienced it, or seen it.

So of course, you got to make it up. Because if you can talk about — you can talk about racist moments. But racist, just like anything else is the individual sport. It is not the country anymore.

GUTFELD: That’s a very good point. Kat, he raises this fine young man over here, raises images (INAUDIBLE) the point that everybody says they’re unapologetic. That — as if that’s a good thing, but maybe you should apologize.

TIMPF: Yes, sometimes, right. And it’s just — the idea of not being afraid to question things. I mean, thinking about the idea when it comes to comedy that intention doesn’t matter. And she’s saying, OK, like, you know, punching up, don’t punch downs. Like how about a more important question is, is this supposed to be a punch? Are you trying to make people laugh? I think that is a very important distinction.

Because intention matters in everything else in life. It matters when a person kills another person. Are you saying that the one thing that’s so serious that intention can’t matter is jokes? I don’t buy it.

GUTFELD: This is — this is probably one of the most important points you’ve ever made.

TIMPF: Oh, thank you.

GUTFELD: No. Because people now, these antiracist activists say intention doesn’t matter when preference things. It’s like — it’s like, when you — when you — were when you’re teaching, let’s say is it Huck Finn, and it’s got the racial slur in it. And if you — if you’re the teacher and you bring it up, you will lose your job because intention doesn’t matter. Right?

TIMPF: Right. So like if Tyrus, if, you know, instead of the glass in the coffee seems premeditated, but if he drives your car accidentally hits you, then starts manslaughter.

TYRUS: Really? Interesting.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: There you go. Yeah. All right.

TIMPF: Whoever though.

GUTFELD: Up next, violent criminals attack. But liberal laws make it hard to fight back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Only in New York. Start spreading the news. We’re all going to die.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh my god.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Seniors beaten without pity. Welcome to New York City. So here’s video of what might now be called typical morning in Brooklyn. It’s 9:00 a.m. The sun is shining and a mugger brutally beats the (BLEEP) of a 68- year-old man then he robs him. After all, he didn’t want to be rude. We’ll have to wait till he’s identified to know how many times he’s been recently led out of jail. And here’s another robbery in broad daylight.

Also in Brooklyn. Proving criminals are emboldened enough to have a normal sleep schedule. The only reason that dude didn’t get away with anything is because his pants kept falling down. Usually if there’s a pantsless criminal in Brooklyn, it’s Anthony Weiner. Lawlessness like this is happening all over. And a big reason is that court systems are a mess, especially in Democrat-run cities. Listen to this insane stat about murders in Chicago from the city’s top cop.

DAVID BROWN, CHICAGO POLICE SUPERINTENDENT: What we can do different is challenge the courts to render Chicago safe by holding violent offenders in jail longer, not releasing murderers back into our community. That’s what we can do different. Over 90 people charged with murder or have been released, that should be a headline in the city.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Ninety murderers charged and released. Pretty soon they’ll start paying them. Look, you don’t have to be Columbo to realize releasing murderers will lead to an increase in murders. Even if they’re given a stern talking to win dinner without dessert. And what does the court expect them to do when they get out? Paint landscapes. And no one’s safe from the crime wave. Former California Democratic Senator Barbara Boxer who’s 80 years old got mugged in Oakland this week. Here she’s describing the attack.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BARBARA BOXER, FORMER CALIFORNIA DEMOCRATIC SENATOR: I tried to cross the street and get away. And he slammed me on the back and reached across me, he was behind me and grabbed my cell phone out of my hand. And I just said, how can you do this to a grandmother? I want to call my grandkids? Why are you doing this? He could care less and got in the car and they sped away.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Maybe this case will get solved because the victims of former senator and not some poor Asian grandmother. So bottom line, the crime wave rolls on and until elected leaders step up to address it. Violent videos just like the one you saw will be commonplace. Though it’s only a matter of time before someone packages them and sells it. Imagine that commercial.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Now for the first time ever on one DVD, the Democratic Party in conjunction with CNN and virtue signaling demagogues present crime going wild. It’s a classic collection of all the horrible attacks that John Lemon and Chris Cuomo pretend never happened.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I knew crime was bad, but statistics hurt my head. I just wish there was a better way for me to understand this epidemic.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, now you can with broad day like beatdowns. Assaults with pots and pans, hot liquids and brazen attacks on elderly women.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It’s like the end of the world. I’m pretty sure to find the police is a bad idea.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, see what happens when national and local leaders abdicate their moral responsibility to keep citizens safe and secure. To see what happens when police are demonized as repeat criminals are released onto the streets. No cash bail reform. George Soros approved D.A.s. Do you think it can’t get any worse that you just start thinking enough.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Thanks to this DVD. I no longer have to go outside to express violence on a personal level. Thanks, Crime Gone Wild.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So get crime going wild today.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Doctor, you just have to laugh. They say laughter is the best medicine.

NESHEIWAT: That’s right.

GUTFELD: But, you know, it’s — imagine the nation were a patient, what would be your prognosis?

NESHEIWAT: So, this what we’re seeing, this is either pure mental illness or evilness, or maybe even just a combination of both. I mean, we do know that one in five Americans suffer from mental illness and it goes undiagnosed and unaddressed. But this is out of control.

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: It’s me.

GUTFELD: I know. know it’s kind of mute. She said that I counted there are five people here.

TIMPF: Have I hidden that? I don’t think so.

NESHEIWAT: But I mean, it’s just so out of control. I mean, I think Lori Lightfoot and Mayor de Blasio instead of worrying about who should get that interview, maybe focus on this massive crime spree that we’re seeing. These criminals that have no remorse and no regard for humanity and just putting these poor innocent grandma or grandma and grandpa’s in the hospital.

GUTFELD: Yes. But they can’t focus on that, David, because it’s their fault. So it’s like if you — if you talk — it’s like that’s why they pretend that they’re just hoping to get through the summer. Like, you know, that — so the winner will come and everybody goes back inside and crime goes down and go see there was no crime spree.

ANGELO: Not out here. Look, I think you’re looking at the crime thing wrong.

GUTFELD: OK.

ANGELO: I love the crime.

GUTFELD: Yes, you loved the crime. OK.

TIMPF: There’s the take.

ANGELO: It’s bringing down the property values, you know. Yes. I’d rather get mugged twice a month for 50 bucks a pop and that saves me five grand a year in rent. I did the math, yes.

GUTFELD: You know, there are people that actually probably think that way that aren’t living in New York that have properties or looking to buy properties. Now there’s never been a better time to buy in New York City.

ANGELO: Yes, I’m hoping to get stabbed so I can afford in unit washer dryer.

GUTFELD: That is the funniest thing. I think I’ve heard in a long time. Tyrus, we do this story all the time. I don’t even know what to say.

TYRUS: What story is that, Greg?

GUTFELD: This non-stop crime. And that the fact is, no matter what we say our politicians don’t give a damn.

TYRUS: Well, you know, Greg, I’m speaking on behalf of the politicians that this is affecting they are unapologetic that they did this and it’s opening a great conversation that we can talk about gun control and global warming. The bad — good news is that winter is not coming anytime soon because the — were extreme climate, so it’s going to be summer to at least. I don’t know next through, next February.

So, you know, crime is going to be be going strong, which then leads to the conversation about existential respect and so forth. So thank you so much for this opportunity to have this conversation. Because it was much needed.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Did I mention I was unapologetic?

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. I’m just so glad you started the conversation.

TYRUS: Yes, and don’t you dare question because that makes you, Kat? He’s a what? If he questions me?

TIMPF: I was thinking how much I love summer. Excuse me.

TYRUS: Damn it, Kat. He’s a racist.

GUTFELD: I’m a racist for God’s sake.

TIMPF: It makes me feel alive when the sun is shining.

GUTFELD: Yes. But by the — I mean you walk to work, how much — how much crime?

TIMPF: I see so much crime.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: And it’s just, you know, it just drives me crazy. I don’t know how we got to the point of, yes, let’s release the violent felons.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Because I’ve been a huge advocate for criminal justice reform forever. I am somebody who doesn’t and hasn’t agreed with many conservatives on crime because I, you know, I don’t think that nonviolent drug crimes are crimes for example. And then I see OK, we got it. We will release violent felons. No, no, no, those are the people who need to be in jail. I don’t know how we got there or why because it’s so obvious and it’s — there’s a difference between being progressive on an issue and being so stupid.

GUTFELD: Yes. It’s hard to tell.

TIMPF: I mean, they try to zit up on purpose. I really — like it’s crazy. That’s how ridiculous it is.

GUTFELD: I think they’re trying to destroy the country, Kat. That’s why I joined the militia.

TIMPF: OK.

ANGELO: You (INAUDIBLE)

GUTFELD: But David? We joined a militia.

ANGELO: You guys are too hard on the criminals. They’re nice. In my neighborhood, the muggers know everyone by name. Hey Doug, give me your wallet. You know, that’s friendly.

GUTFELD: It’s friendly.

TIMPF: Yes, I could see you as a slumlord. Yeah.

ANGELO: That’s the dream.

GUTFELD: Up next, should the unboxed be trapped at home or free to row?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

ANNOUNCER: “PLEASE GOD MAKE THIS END.”

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Follow the science becomes forced compliance. Don, I hope they recognize me at dinner, Lemon. And Chris, I don’t wear oil when I work out. Cuomo, went all in on getting the COVID vaccine. For Don, if you’re not vaccinated, you might as well lock yourself in the house and never leave.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DON LEMON, CNN HOST: Don’t get the vaccine? You can’t go to the supermarket. Don’t have the vaccine? You can’t go to the ballgame. Don’t have the vaccine? Can’t go to work. You don’t have the vaccine? Can’t come here. No shirt. No shoes. No service.

All these people are saying I don’t want to put this stuff in my body. They’re out drinking on the weekend and putting other substances in their bodies. It’s way worse for them than a vaccine. So come on, let’s be real.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Wow, what a jab at Kat. At least he could have just said your name. But it sounds like he’s trying to increase his viewership through captive audiences. By the way, if you don’t want to adjust anything toxic, doctors recommend turning off CNN.

Anyway, their hyperbole didn’t end there. Earlier Cuomo bloviating about freedom to a Florida GOP congressmen who saying no to the vaccine.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CHRIS CUOMO, CNN HOST: I’m not doing it because I made that decision.

(CROSSTALK)

CUOMO: That doesn’t make you just a free person. All right, freedom isn’t just defined as the bold and ability to be strong and wrong. It’s about doing the right thing. If your answer is just then, well, I don’t care what they say, this is me; I’m an American. That is being dumb as a proxy for being bold.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Speaking of dumb, this is a great time to remind people Chris Cuomo broke his own quarantine before a vaccine existed. But if you’re not dumb, you might as well be drunk. Just ask California Governor Gavin Newsom.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GOV. GAVIN NEWSOM (D-CA): Just like drunk drivers, you don’t have the right to go out and drink and drive and put everybody else at risk, including your own life at risk.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: So, now, they’re comparing the unvaccinated with drunk drivers. That’s a false comparison. You can’t get a vaccine that protects against drunk drivers. See how similes work, Gavin? Here’s another simile: taking vaccine advice from a man who had public unmask meetings while arresting people for surfing is like being a jackass.

All right, Doctor. I — you know, it necessarily the right way to get people to get vaccinated by belittling them, mocking them, calling them names taking pleasure in moral superiority?

DR. JEANETTE NESHEIWAT, FOX NEWS MEDICAL CONTRIBUTOR: It’s like that’s the complete opposite. Who is he, the God of COVID? What do you want people to stay home?

GUTFELD: That’s me, by the way —

NESHEIWAT: And starve to death, socially isolate, become anxious became, become depressed? I mean, that’s discriminatory, in my opinion. What about the people that can’t get vaccinated that are allergic to the ingredients? Or maybe they just had COVID? They don’t need to be vaccinated. So, we need to look at all options, not just categorize everyone, you know, into the same bowl.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: They’re belittling them incorrectly.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: If they really cared about vaccines? They would do vaccine out — whenever they talk with a vaccine, it’s just, oh, well, it’s all you know, these, you know, Republican rednecks. They won’t get vaccinated.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: A third of hospital workers in New York City are not vaccinated.

GUTFELD: True.

TIMPF: Is that is that MAGA country in New York City hospitals? Not exactly. It doesn’t — there’s no political, it’s not a political thing and they just won’t acknowledge that. And also, I did get vaccinated. I am not wearing a mask anymore. I’m not wearing a mask. There is a very, very rare chance you can get COVID with the vaccine.

There’s also like maybe a couple of people could save your life but you know what else could wearing a helmet everywhere you go. You wear a helmet everywhere you go could probably save a few lives too from head stuff that happens in the wild. And you know what, I’m not doing that. You can use the exact same arguments. I’m not doing that. I’m not wearing a mask anymore. No!

NESHEIWAT: And if you’re vaccinated, you shouldn’t have to.

TIMPF: I’m vaccinated.

NESHEIWAT: You shouldn’t have to. Yes.

TIMPF: I hate it. I don’t want the fabric covering my beautiful face.

GUTFELD: That’s what it’s really about. What did you want? I saw you waving over there in the corner, strange man.

DAVID ANGELO, WESTERNRAZER.COM SPOKESPERSON: No, no, I’m just, I agree with you. I think it’s a good point. I got the vaccine and you know I’ve had people say though they’re worried about it, but I’ve had no — there’s another tooth. No side effects.

GUTFELD: That is, that, that was just a prop tooth.

ANGELO: That was a prop tooth.

TYRUS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Why should you ruin the magic show, like know —

GUTFELD: You make a great point a couple of nights ago, Tyrus, where you said that kids and I, anybody with kids, they have to the kids come into school have to provide a little card that shows that they’ve been vaccinated or —

TYRUS: When your kids in school, you have to have your vaccination records up to date, you know.

TIMPF: Yes.

TYRUS: And the same thing, when you bring your dog to the vet, they’re like, are the shots up to date? So, having a little card saying that you have your vaccine, I don’t have to see a big issue with that. But I don’t when it comes to personal choice, or whatever, here’s the deal. And although, I’m not a doctor or scientist, I am Tyrus, so — I can just wing it. COVID is not going anywhere. It’s going to always kind of be here, just like the flu. And you know, things that come seasonal, and it’s, it’s always going to be a little shark in the water when it comes to that.

And we’re going to have casualties, just like people die from the flu, and etc. And you can take care of yourself. And if somebody doesn’t want to get vaccinated, we have to respect that. We might not like it, and hopefully they’re honest, like, hey, guys, I want to get in the elevator. I’m not vaccinated. OK, great. And then they are they were the master, whatever. Politicizing it, because this is the — the left has made some mistakes. They defund the police thing, went horribly wrong.

GUTFELD: Right.

TYRUS: Now, they’re defending them. So all they have left now is the scare of the vaccine. Because when that goes in the midterms, they got to have some kind of crisis where you got to stick with a plan because if you don’t, the evil Republicans are going to take away your vaccine. They have that’s all they have left. Because they’ve mismanaged the American people. They miss guess, they misspoke. They’re unapologetically dumb that they didn’t think about telling, talking to the American people the right way.

GUTFELD: Yes. And now, they’ve got to, they’ve got a new class system to pit people against vaxxed versus unvaxxed, which is great for conflict theater on CNN, right? They can — they now have millions of people that can make fun of again.

ANGELO: And you know, the biggest source of vaccine hesitancy is the media says it’s OK.

GUTFELD: Yes. It’s true.

ANGELO: What are the odds that this is the first thing CNN is right about?

GUTFELD: Yes.

ANGELO: You know what I mean?

GUTFELD: That’s a good point. I don’t trust them.

ANGELO: And I just want to say to the viewers at home, the vaccine is safe. Yes.

NESHEIWAT: It is safe. Don’t listen to him. If you are vaccinated, it’ll keep you out of the hospital and off of ventilator.

TIMPF: And when Don Lemon said, you think you probably put worst and stuff in your body than the vaccine, I said that on the show and explaining why I was going to get vaccinated. It’s true.

GUTFELD: Oh my god, I put things in my body I wouldn’t put in anybody else.

TYRUS: That’s an entirely different show. And that’s the 2:00 am hour.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Exactly. Talk to any E.R. Any, any E.R. doctor, he’s got stories. They have some —

TYRUS: They all know your safe word.

GUTFELD: Up next, an Olympic star withdraws. Well, a photo gives China pause.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: A Polaroid has China paranoid and these games are so demanding that you didn’t stick around for the landing. And those are the list of reasons that this could be —

ANNOUNCER: “THE WORST OLYMPICS EVER.”

GUTFELD: The Chinese Foreign Ministry claims Western media photos of Chinese athletes are unflattering when compared to their counterparts. They cited a picture similar to this one of weightlifter, Haozing Hu, thank you, that they thought made her look unattractive. They haven’t been this mad about a photo since Tiananmen Square. Of course, people aren’t at their most attractive when they’re lifting heavy weights. It’s why I ban the media from my morning squat.

Meanwhile, Simone Biles says she wasn’t mentally right for the gymnastics final and withdrew from the competition, leaving America’s team to compete with athletes most people haven’t heard of her. She’s explaining why, why she bailed.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SIMONE BILES, TEAM USA GYMNASTICS: I just felt like it would be a little bit better to take a back seat, work on my mindfulness. And I knew that the girls would do an absolutely great job and I didn’t want to risk the team a medal for kind of my screw ups because they’ve worked way too hard for that.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Hey, even without fans, there’s still a ton of pressure competing at the highest levels. It’s why I chose not to compete this year. The Americans ended up taking silver anyway, which William Devayne points out is its own reward.

What do you have in your safe? I am William Debayne and I’m so (BLEEP) rich.

See the city behind me? I own that whole city. I’m William Debayne. Where is William, by the way? All right, Tyrus, I don’t know where my brain is going. But as an athlete, how do you, you’re sympathetic to Simone, there’s a strategy behind this. I think she tried to help her team is that basically it?

TYRUS: Well, I first of all, I commend her because just the fact that she’s still competing and this is the one sport where you don’t see people two three Olympics.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: And still compete at a high level. It’s usually the, the, the wear and tear, and the amount of her joints that go through. She did the vault, she didn’t land right. And it’s time, and there’s one thing that you have to respect with athletes is when they know when it’s time.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: And some can’t let go. And that says a lot about her that she knew. And if the timing is horrible, but it always is. There’s that night in boxing where your favorite boxer gets old.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: You know, and, and you’re like, please don’t fight anymore. You know, Evander Holyfield is my favorite boxer, and please don’t fight anymore. You know, in the same thing, but her having the courage and not be unselfish and her saying I couldn’t do this vault anymore. I know it’s over and I respect that and we all need to respect the fact that it takes courage to do the thing that you love and dedicated your life to. It’s not going to be anymore. I can remember, I know the, the playing football where I know it’s a wrap. I can’t do it anymore. I want to. The hearts willing but the body says no. And, you know.

TIMPF: However, is that you saying I’m too old to be an Olympic gymnast?

GUTFELD: Kat, you constantly put post-selfies? How important is women’s appearance at work?

TIMPF: Um, here’s the thing. I think that I come to work looking really, really ugly. But then I get my hair and makeup done so I’m not sure if it applies to me. I come in looking bedraggled and wearing some strange clothes.

GUTFELD: But you can, you feel bad about the power lifter not looking her best?

TIMPF: Here’s the thing. I feel like the Communist Party of China, even if that were true, they’ve done worse things to us. Feel like they have done worse things to us.

GUTFELD: Let’s see what the Uighurs —

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: And just get, get an Instagram filter if you got a problem, China.

TIMPF: Yes, I feel like they’ve done some worse things.

GUTFELD: Yes. You know, David, you’re our Olympic experts. You’ve been covering the Olympics for at least 12 minutes.

ANGELO: That’s right. Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes, going back at least an hour.

ANGELO: I competed. You know, I was, I was on the backgammon team for the Cayman Islands back in 96.

TYRUS: Damn shame. What happened to you guys?

ANGELO: Yes, no, Simone, she’s, she’s out. And you know, they must be serious, because you can’t — the whole thing is for the Olympics.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes, that’s true. When you get there and then you’re like, I can’t do it. Yes. The whole point is that the things so you’d go in and and, you know, I feel for but you know, in my case, like I woke up this morning, I knew, I felt awful, I knew I wouldn’t be funny, but I said, you know, just go to GUTFELD show. It doesn’t — just go through the motions. It won’t matter. And here I am.

GUTFELD: Yes. And you’re bombing.

ANGELO: I know.

GUTFELD: You know what, it reminds me, it does remind me of the Curb Your Enthusiasm special when Larry David prepares for this big onstage thing and then doesn’t he walk out and then just turn around? Is that like, there’s a thing where he just kind of walks up and he goes —

TYRUS: Nah, I’m good.

GUTFELD: I’m good. I’m good. I’m good and just leaves. That’s what she like, if you may, maybe you just know that it’s the time.

NESHEIWAT: Yes. And that’s what I love about these Olympic champions: Biles, also Naomi Osaka for the tennis champion. They are putting their mental health first not just about the Olympics and winning medals and putting others first taking that into consideration. I think that’s so important. And as far as that picture from China, I mean, come on, this is not a beauty pageant.

They’re supposed to be showcasing their talent and their strength and their skills, not what you look like. I mean, she does, or he does, she does look a little constipated but — at the end of the day, it’s what you bring home.

GUTFELD: Is that diagnosis. Do you diagnose constipation by looking at people?

NESHEIWAT: You can. If they’re bloated and distended.

TYRUS: Greg, I just like to say this thing is a cute face and a clean and jerk. There’s just no way. I’ve never been like —

GUTFELD: Coming up, the “Exorcist” returns. But will fans be stressed if Linda Blair’s not possessed?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Well, Linda Blair be missed in the new “Exorcist”. A $400 million sequel trilogy to the “Exorcist” is in the works. And Linda Blair who portrayed the demon possessed Reagan in the original says she hasn’t been asked to be involved. That’s outrageous. And that decision has head spinning. You writers! This is much to the dismay of the film’s fans who insist the power of Christ should compel them to give Blair a cameo.

Still, Blair says she doesn’t expect anything will change but a maybe the producers are worried Blair will be too expensive, especially when they could just go to Kats place and film her waking up from a tequila Tuesday. Kat, you like me grew up Catholic? This movie terrified me.

TIMPF: Yes. Yes, I was raised not just Catholic but Catholic. Like holy water everywhere. My mom put St. Benedict models of Rolla doors keep the devil away. She put blessed salt in my suitcase once. I was like, Mom, if somebody like — I didn’t know about. I was like people who think I’m trying to fly with cocaine. They’re not going to leave. My mom didn’t want me out in Los Angeles at the blessing salt.

So, yes, it terrifies me. And I’m agnostic. And so, I also feel like the fact that this terrifies me, is that like an acknowledgment that maybe I do think God is real if I think maybe demons are real. I don’t know. Makes you think.

GUTFELD: No, but you know, Tom, I wish, I always say this and people think I’m weird. This is one of my favorites of all time.

TIMPF: (INAUDIBLE).

GUTFELD: I did that again. David — it’s working. I’ve been calling people by the wrong names. You know what, it’s the heartburn.

I wish this movie was real because I would love — imagine if to be demonic possession was like an added variable in our lives. Like, it was like, oh, did you hear what happened to Steve? Yes, possessed by the devil. We would have so many fewer problems. If that was a, if that was like it’s like having a Land Shark could happen at any time.

ANGELO: Yes, I also grew up Catholic but I did it. I was real Catholic, which mean we never went to church. You are, you are some weird strain.

TIMPF: Polish. Polish.

ANGELO: Yes, you knew about the Bible and stuff. That’s not how the real Catholics do.

GUTFELD: I was an altar boy.

TIMPF: I was an altar boy too when they let people who weren’t boys to it.

ANGELO: But you know —

GUTFELD: That’s not real.

ANGELO: In the, in the reboot, the family, they are atheists. So, they just, they just roll they send her off to college.

TIMPF: So, they saw her be possessed and they’re atheists? Maybe there is no hope.

ANGELO: They’re just like bye Megan have fun —

GUTFELD: You know what, that could be Antifa. It’s just a bunch of people who are possessed that the parents didn’t decide to de-possess.

ANGELO: That’s what it is.

GUTFELD: That’s brilliant.

ANGELO: They roll with it.

GUTFELD: Doctor, what do you make of demonic possessions, real or not real?

NESHEIWAT: Horror movies horrify me. They are bad for your health. They should be banned. They should be illegal. Well, you can you can have a stroke or a heart attack in the movie theater. I can’t, I can’t do it. I say no. Pass.

GUTFELD: Wow.

ANGELO: You know that?

NESHEIWAT: No, thank you. I have vivid nightmares since I was a kid from this movie. I cannot watch another horror movie. What is it Freddy Krueger and, and the scissors.

GUTFELD: Edward Scissor Hands.

NESHEIWAT: Yes.

GUTFELD: Kidding.

TIMPF: Being afraid makes you feel alive.

GUTFELD: Thank you. Thank you, woman. You just crawled out of the well? Were you an extra in the room?

TYRUS: I’m just going to get Tyrus, I’m saying keep it real for this trip. This is a waste of $400 million. You’re never going to recreate the greatness that was the original x — it works now it scares now I watched it with my kids. It was phenomenal.

GUTFELD: Still amazing.

TYRUS: My daughter had this awesome moment where she wrote helped me on her stomach. Daddy, help me. And I was like this is awesome. We don’t want demon possessions to be real. Nobody will be in jail. No one will ever be – – why are you doing that, Tyrus? Possess. Let him go, damn it.

GUTFELD: That’s — Sam, did that right?

TYRUS: Yes.

NESHEIWAT: Can we just stick to Spider Man and Superman?

GUTFELD: Oh, those are boring.

TIMPF: Yes, it’s the same movie every time.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. You got to go “Exorcist” all the way. All right, don’t go away. We’ll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We are out of time. Set your DVRs every night so you never miss an episode. Thanks to Dr. Jeanette Nesheiwat, David Angelo and his razors, Kat Timpf, Tyrus, our studio audience. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with evil Shannon Bream is next. I’m Greg Gutfeld. I love you America.

Content and Programming Copyright 2021 Fox News Network, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Copyright 2021 VIQ Media Transcription, Inc. All materials herein are protected by United States copyright law and may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast without the prior written permission of VIQ Media Transcription, Inc. You may not alter or remove any trademark, copyright or other notice from copies of the content.

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opedguy · 3 years

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U.S. Afghan Pullout Has Consequences

LOS ANGELES (OnlineColumnist.com), July 13, 2021.--Pulling out some 3,500 troops and heavy equipment from Afghanistan, the U.S. has thrown in the towel, unable to accomplish its goal of stopping a Taliban insurgency, now showing signs of overtaking the U.S.-backed Kabul government. Pentagon planners would like contingencies in the event of a Taliban takeover but the days of worrying about what happens when U.S. troop leave are all but gone. Whatever diplomatic relations the U.S. has with Central Asian countries, especially the Cacusus states in Tajikistan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan and Kyrgyzstan, all of which were former Soviet satellites. Just like the brutal Soviet-Afghanistan War, where the Soviet Union lost 14,453 troops, the 10-year-long war ended badly with a withdrawal Feb. 15, 1989. Russian President Vladimir Putin remembers well how the U.S. used terrorists like Osama bin Laden to battle Soviet occupation.

Russia has zero sympathy for the 20-year U.S. Afghan War where the U.S. lost 2,420 troops, attesting to the low intensity conflict, far less casualties than the Soviet Union over a 10-year period. “I would emphasize that the redeployment of the American permanent military presence to the countries neighboring Afghanistan is unacceptable,” said Russia’s Deputy Foreign Minister Sergei Ryabkov, something 78-year-old President Joe Biden was told at the June 18 Geneva summit. “We told the America in a direct and straightforward way that it would change a lot of things not only our perceptions of what’s going on in that important region, but also our relations with the United States,” warning Washington that there would be consequences to staging military operation in any country near Afghanistan. Russia has also warned its former Soviet satellites not to permit American military bases.

With Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan host Russian military bases, the Kremlin won’t accept more U.S. bases in the region. Up until 2014, the U.S. paid Kyrgyzstan to station U.S. military operations for the Afghan theater. Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov pointed out that Russia is part of Collective Security Treaty Organization with Kazakhstan, Kyrgzstan and Tajikistan, all of which do not allow any U.S. military bases in the signatories’ countries. Once former President Donald Trump put an end to the Afghan War, though delayed from May 31 to Aug. 30 by Biden, the Pentagon fully understood the consequences, including the probable Taliban takeover of Afghanistan. Spending 20 years since the Oct. 7, 2001 start of Operation Enduring Freedom, the Afghan War has been the longest in U.S. history, though a low intensity, guerrilla conflict that kept the Taliban at bay.

Whatever reason Biden and the Pentagon have for pulling out of Afghanistan, it obviously comes with consequences. Russia has no sympathy for the U.S. because they prosecuted the war in Afghanistan between Dec. 24, 1989 and Feb. 15, 1991, with the U.S. battling Russia all the way. Former President Jimmy Carter once said that U.S. was neutral on the outcome of the Soviet war in Afghanistan. Giving Osama bin Laden’s mujahedeen fighters billions of dollars was hardly neutral, something remembered by Putin, Lavrov and others at the Kremlin. “I don’t think that the emergence of new American military facilities in Central Asia would promote security in the region,” Lavrov said, not admitting the real reason the Kremlin opposes the presence of any American forces. Putin and Lavrov recall when Carter and President Ronald

Reagan funded Osama bin Laden’s mujahedeen fighters in Afghanistan. Let there be no mistake, choosing to leave Afghanistan, the U.S. forfeits its interest in the outcome of the country. While Biden denies that the U.S. has been nation-building in Afghanistan, the amount of blood-and-treasure spent says otherwise. Twenty years supporting successive U.S.-backed governments proves that former Bush administration wanted to establish a democratic state in Afghanistan, just like they did prosecuting the Iraq War. Whether democracy works in the Middle East is anyone’s guess. Only Israel operates a workable democracy, the rest are authoritarian regimes and monarchies. Russia has no interest in preserving the U.S.-backed government of Ashraf Ghani, whose government will likely fall after the U.S. exit is completed. Leaving Afghanistan, the Pentagon surrenders the outcome to whatever happens with the Taliban’s relentless march to Kabul.

When the U.S. examines the costs-and-benefits of the Afghan War, they need to look at the original intent of finding and neutralizing Sept. 11 mastermind Osama bin Laden. How ironic that Bin Laden was a U.S. ally for several years while the Pentagon worked feverishly with surrogates to end Soviet occupation. Soviet’s Afghan conflict would have kept going except for the fact that the Soviet Union disbanded Dec. 26, 1991. Pentagon officials toppled the Taliban Nov. 14, 2001, only five weeks after launching Operation Enduring Freedom. Former President George W. Bush would have let the Taliban stay in power if they turned over Bin Laden. Bush was out of office three years when the U.S. military finally terminated Bin Laden May 2, 2011, something credited to former President Barack Obama. Whether or not the Taliban harbors the next Bin Laden is anyone’s guess.

About the Author

John M. Curtis writes politically neutral commentary analyzing spin in national and global news. He’s editor of OnlineColumnist.com and author of Dodging The Bullet and Operation Charisma.

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junker-town · 5 years

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The Bulls are headed in the right direction. Really

In a summer filled with revelations, the Chicago Bulls’ display of restraint came out of nowhere as one of the NBA’s most frustrating franchises made a subtle turn back towards relevance. They filled a position of need in the draft with point guard Coby White and spent free agency doling out reasonable contracts to useful veterans like Thaddeus Young and Tomas Satoransky who can help on the court and inside an impressionable locker room.

For the first time in a long time, the Bulls showed foresight. Their best window to capitalize in free agency before their own young talent starts to eat that cap space is the summer of 2021. The Bulls appear to be embracing a concept they’ve willfully ignored for the past 20 years: pragmatism.

Before an organizational sea change occurs it must be mentioned that recent history elicits extreme skepticism from every Bulls’ fan alive. After Michael Jordan’s second retirement, dysfunction, controversy, and multiple false starts became the club’s calling card. Since 1999, they own the NBA’s eighth-lowest regular-season winning percentage, and have only won five playoff series.

Unforeseen obstacles — like Derrick Rose’s body breaking down — caused suffering. Yet the deepest wounds were self-inflicted by a belief system that’s long prioritized marginal financial gain over team success. John Paxson and Gar Forman don’t strike out every time they step to the plate, but heading into this summer the duo was synonymous with bizarre moves that delayed progress indefinitely.

They turned Jusuf Nurkic and Gary Harris into Doug McDermott on draft night in 2014, and flipped McDermott (along with the second-round pick that became Knicks’ center Mitchell Robinson) for Cameron Payne. They deemed combining headstrong vets like Dwyane Wade, Rajon Rondo, Jimmy Butler with neophyte coach Fred Hoiberg a good idea. It’s been one stubborn decision after the next that eventually stripped the organization of all the deference it took generations to establish.

So long as they don’t get in their own way, the Bulls can afford to be (cautiously) optimistic about the future. Combine this summer’s signings with a gifted young roster, future cap flexibility, and the everlasting truism that large NBA markets lead a less complicated life than small ones, and what you have is a sleeping giant.

If last year was rock bottom -- the Bulls had their fifth-worst winning percentage in franchise history, and won their fewest games since 2002 -- then organization-wide progress will be judged by the development of their core: Lauri Markkanen, Wendell Carter Jr., Coby White, and Chandler Hutchison.

The best-case scenario will yield a franchise point guard, center, and power forward, with an athletic wing on the side. There’s upside in that group and Markkanen, who averaged 18.7 points and 9.0 rebounds per game last season, should crack several All-Star games.

Factor in some offensive punch provided by 24-year-old Zach LaVine and 26-year-old Otto Porter Jr., and the Bulls can market themselves as the Eastern Conference’s most intriguing Team of Tomorrow. Particularly if someone else hits beside Markkanen. (The Atlanta Hawks will have something to say about that, but it’s a debate worth having.)

Reasonable top-to-bottom infrastructure matters — along with head coach Jim Boylen’s ability to enforce a culture everyone can get behind — but genuine talent is the NBA’s most powerful ingredient. It can alter a franchise’s entire reputation if harnessed the right way.

Assuming everyone is able to get on the same page and stay healthy, Chicago is feisty enough to scrap at the bottom of the playoff picture in 2020. That’s mostly thanks to internal improvement, but also a few key signings from earlier this month.

Young, who is as savvy and perceptive as any defender in the league, climbed aboard on a three-year, $41 million deal. He may not start, but his versatility and experience will open doors to different lineup combinations that were previously unavailable.

In-game mentorship when sharing a frontcourt with Markkanen or Carter Jr. will pay dividends for each down the line. Young is a basketball monk who won’t look for shots or worry about padding his own stats. That brand of altruism is worth every penny

He and Satoransky — who signed his own three-year deal for an affordable $30 million — will raise Chicago’s collective IQ and function as reliable role players. The fact that neither was given a fourth year on their contract is as crucial as anything.

We don’t know what the exact salary cap will be in two years, but assuming they don’t re-sign Porter Jr. and thanks to non-guaranteed third years on Young and Satoransky’s contracts, a conservative estimate will still let the Bulls sign at least one max free agent that summer. Move on from LaVine (whose contract will be entering its final year) and two max stars might be possible, with Markkanen, White, Carter Jr., and Hutchison still in the fold.

In July 2021, Giannis Antetokounmpo, Kawhi Leonard, Paul George, LeBron James, Bradley Beal, Blake Griffin, CJ McCollum, Jrue Holiday, Victor Oladipo, and several more franchise-altering figures can become unrestricted free agents. In other words, the Bulls have two seasons to mold themselves into a desirable destination.

Certain advantages (i.e. Chicago is a big city with a humongous fanbase and historical NBA relevance) are already caked in as a draw. The path to becoming a desirable destination exists.

A tremendous amount of luck is required for any team to succeed in free agency. So long as the Bulls don’t sacrifice their financial flexibility for the sake of something relatively insignificant, like a fruitless push for the No. 8 seed, they might be able to end their rebuild overnight. Much like the Brooklyn Nets and Los Angeles Clippers just did. The similarities are there, and a case can be made that Chicago is in an even more advantageous spot than those two clubs were.

The Bulls have more work to do before they can permanently shake their reputation, but the opportunity for change is real. All they need is a little more patience.

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junker-town · 5 years

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The Lakers have an Anthony Davis quandary with no easy answers

The Lakers have to decide whether to keep chasing Anthony Davis. Whatever they do is going to hurt. A lot.

The NBA trade deadline passed by a week ago, but the forbidden love between Anthony Davis and the Lakers continues to dominate at least some of our minds. Davis’ future will rule the summer, even as an incredible set of free agents and at least one potential franchise star in the NBA Draft are up for grabs.

Think about that. Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, Kemba Walker, Kawhi Leonard, and Jimmy Butler will all sign new long-term deals somewhere, and some lucky team will claim Zion Williamson, and yet all eyes will remain on Davis, who won’t be a free agent until 2020. That’s how good Davis is, and how central he is to everyone’s championship hopes.

The Lakers, going forward, face a quandary: do they also focus on Davis, or do they try to build a contender around LeBron James some other way?

This equation is complicated and fascinating. The Lakers’ front office has to determine whether it can trust the Pelicans’ front office to act in good faith after New Orleans apparently pulled a do-si-do on L.A. at the deadline. It also has to determine whether it thinks it can reasonably beat the Celtics in a bidding war, factoring in that Davis’ camp has indicated he does not wish to re-sign in Boston, a fact that will probably affect the Celtics’ offer. There are other suitors to worry about, as well, including teams that Davis’ camp has indicated the superstar would re-sign with in 2020.

The Lakers have to decide whether it’s simply better for Davis to go to the Celtics and then try to poach him in 2020. L.A. wouldn’t be able to make that happen, but it could influence the eventual outcome through its offers and its posturing.

The Lakers also have to decide when to pull the plug on Davis and chase other high-end players instead. You have to wonder if the Lakers missed opportunities to improve the team around LeBron at the trade deadline. Are you telling me that offering up one of the L.A. prospects for Kemba Walker wouldn’t have drawn the Hornets’ attention? This isn’t a critique — you can’t criticize front offices for mythical deals pulled from the ether with no basis in reporting — but the question lingers whether the Lakers pulled any threads not attached to Davis’ jersey, and if they did not, if that singular focus cost them a player who could have made the playoff chase a little easier.

If Davis isn’t traded by the night of the NBA Draft in June, at what point this summer do the Lakers turn away from trade talks and focus on trying to recruit Durant, Kyrie, Kawhi, Kemba, or DeMarcus Cousins? One of the Lakers’ strongest assets that isn’t mentioned often enough is their cap space. Not every team has the ability to soak up Solomon Hill’s contract. But the Lakers could sacrifice their ability to offer that to the Pelicans by committing to free agents on July 1. If Davis isn’t traded by then, how will L.A. play it?

Will the Pelicans string the Lakers along just to exact a little more pain, knowing every day of hope for a Davis trade could make L.A. a little worse over the long term? Is this feud that personal for the Pelicans front office?

Does LeBron’s desire to play with Davis exceed his displeasure at being so low in the West pecking order? In other words, would LeBron prefer keeping the Lakers’ powder dry to sign Davis as a free agent in 2020 if it meant having a 2019-20 season as mediocre as this 2018-19 season has been? What’s better for LeBron’s goals, whatever those may be: a title contender in 2021 and 2022 with perhaps two missed postseasons leading up to it, or a better supporting cast in 2020 with a reduced chance at getting Davis in free agency?

Do the Lakers, through LeBron and Rich Paul, actually know what Davis wants and how likely he is to remain committed to the project of joining L.A.?

Having Anthony Davis want to be on your team is a blessing, but the position the Lakers are in is a curse. Another season like this one seems unbearable, and the Lakers will need to decide this summer — if it’s not decided for them — whether the chase is worth the interim misery.

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junker-town · 7 years

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2021 NBA player rankings, Nos. 20-11: Lonzo Ball a top 20 player? What about Ben Simmons?

Two rookies who have yet to log an NBA minute begin this section of our countdown, which also features a number of established stars.

Now, we’re getting into All-NBA territory on our Top 101 NBA players of 2021 countdown. Which players will be competitive for those elusive 15 spots in four years? How old will those players be?

That’s how you get a mixture of completely unproven NBA players and veterans that may or may not fall off. We begin with two players who have yet to log a single NBA minute and end with a two-time MVP and a two-time runner up who probably both got disrespected.

20. Ben Simmons

Age in 2021: 24 (5 seasons including injury)

CHRIS GREENBERG: Sure, Joel Embiid is great on Twitter. And, yes, Markelle Fultz may already be leading the league in getting overshadowed by Lonzo Ball at rookie photo shoots. But Ben Simmons is the versatile, matchup nightmare who will turn the entertaining #Process into the contending #Progress.

The rangy 6’ 10 playmaker who was compared to LeBron James coming out of LSU hasn’t played a minute since being the No. 1 pick in 2016 draft due to a foot injury, but his confidence seems higher than ever. He declared himself the 76ers’ starting point guard even after the team drafted a player at that position a year later with the No. 1 pick.

He’s also been practicing with James. That’s never a bad idea for a passing wunderkind with a 7’ wingspan.

Have a Shirley Temple for me when this pick is validated.

Happy Bday to my lil bro @BenSimmons25!!! That boi 21 now. Uh-Oh!! Let's go have a Shirley temple with a twist. ‍♂️ ‍♂️

— LeBron James (@KingJames) July 20, 2017

Everyone else’s reactions

TIM CATO: Forget his passing skills, which is the only positive we ever seem to talk about with Simmons. He’s probably the best ball handler over 6’9, and he’s built. The jump shot quandry with him is enormous, of course, but get Simmons going to the rim and I’m not sure what defenses do.

MATT ELLENTUCK: Brandon Ingram will be better.

ZITO MADU: I agree. Ingram will be better.

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: He’s supposed to be baby LeBron, right? If that actually happens, he’ll be higher on this list than we have him.

TOM ZILLER: This could go really well or really badly. Little in-between.

More reading material

19. Lonzo Ball

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: The Lakers have 23 games on national TV this season without a single all-star on the roster. That’s all Lonzo Ball’s doing. Ball is a once-in-a-generation type of point guard the likes of which the NBA has never seen. I’m surprised he fell to 19.

Everyone else’s reactions

RICKY O’DONNELL: I’m all in on Ball. He might never put up huge numbers, but he just helps you win. Basically all the stud point guards today are score-first. Ball is pass first, pass second, and pass third. I can’t wait to watch him in the league.

ZITO MADU: In 2021, Ball will be the best player in the league and I will be on every NBA video with a Big Baller Brand leather snapback. Mark my words.

WHITNEY MEDWORTH: Can’t wait to see Ball and Kyle Kuzma tearing it up in 2021.

DREW GARRISON, SILVER SCREEN AND ROLL: That Lonzo is the highest-ranked Laker is no surprise — if he does turn out to be a top-20 player by 2021, the purple and gold should be thrilled. Just don't let LaVar know he's not No. 1.

MIKE PRADA: We spent all year saying Markelle Fultz (No. 21) was a better NBA prospect than Ball. NBA teams clearly preferred Fultz to Ball without much questioning. They’re the same age and play the same position.

Now Fultz gets a minor injury, Ball has a couple nice Summer League games, and we’re changing our minds?

TOM ZILLER: If by “we” you mean “Kristian.” This is a ludicrous pick. And I like Ball!

TIM CATO: You’ll never be a Big Baller if you keep talking like that, Ziller.

KYLE NEUBECK, LIBERTY BALLERS: Ball going over Markelle Fultz isn't super crazy simply because the latter will likely be the third-best player on his team in a best-case scenario.

Where I have an issue is Ball over Simmons, who I think is going to remind a lot of people how talented a basketball player he is during his rookie season. He is an elite prospect who has the perfect players around him to succeed, and he won't have to worry about answering questions about his dad after every shootaround.

CHRIS GREENBERG: I’m with Ziller. I love Ball’s court vision, but this pick makes a lot more sense if we’re ranking hype rather impact.

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: Bottom line: I’d take Fultz, too ... if I knew Ball would never play for my organization. I saw what I needed to see with Ball. He makes his teammates better. That won’t go out of style any time soon.

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18. Paul George

Age in 2021: 31 (11 seasons)

WHITNEY MEDWORTH: I am a Pacers fan. Fool me once, shame on you, Paul George. Fool me twice, shame on me.

George has been freed from mediocrity after being traded out of Indiana. If he can accept that he is the best version of a No. 2 star on a really good team, he will be fantastic. When you get PG in a catch-and-shoot situation, he’s nearly automatic, and that will only get better with time. He will be 31 in four years, but will still be one of the league’s best defenders.

The only question is which star will have him as their sidekick? LeBron James? Russell Westbrook? Don’t let me down again, PG. Accept your role in the league and ride the wave to 2021.

Everyone else’s reactions

ZITO MADU: #LakeShow

TIM CATO: I’m a little surprised there were 12 picks between George and Jimmy Butler (No. 30).

TOM ZILLER: Not only that, but the order in which they went. That said, only one of them has Tom Thibodeau squeezing every watt of energy out of them.

TIM CATO: George’s game might age slightly better, though, just because he’s a better shooter who does more work off screens, percentage wise, than any other offensive star currently in the league.

JOSHUA BROOM, WELCOME TO LOUD CITY: George is only 27 now. If his knees remain stable, the four-time All-Star may rank slightly higher on this list in '21.

More reading material

17. John Wall

Age in 2021: 30 (11 seasons)

TIM CATO: Wall’s underrated now and he’ll be underrated in 2021. It’s good to know some things never change.

Regardless, I’m still betting on the dude who just averaged 23 points and 11 assists for an entire damn season. He’s only 26 now, so maybe he gets even better between now and then.

Everyone else’s reactions

JAKE WHITACRE, BULLETS FOREVER: If John Wall is still a top-20 player in four years at age 31, that's a great sign for the Wizards and it means they're getting good value out of his supermax extension.

TOM ZILLER: I can’t believe a couple of the dudes that went above Wall, a trifecta guard — scoring, passing, and defense — who will be in his prime.

TIM CATO: To be fair, that defense comes and goes. Fun fact! Wall’s average speed, per the NBA’s tracking data, was 3.42 miles per hour on the defensive end. That’s eighth worst in the league and only 0.04 better than the stone-legged Dirk Nowitzki. But the simple fact that he can play above-average defense immediately jolts him past some of his peers, and I’d imagine he’ll find a much better balance of the two sides in the coming years.

MIKE PRADA: Wall is too low, and I already feel dumb about the pick I made ahead of him. But I do have a slight worry that he may not hold up health-wise, given his history of knee issues. He was fine last year, but that looms scarily in the background. He’s incredibly smart, but he also depends on his speed and athleticism to activate that great basketball IQ. If that starts to fade, I’ll be curious to see how his game responds.

Wow, we’re dumb.

TIM CATO: For the record, I didn’t even realize I picked the Washington backcourt consecutively until we finished this exercise. I’m putting Wizards fan Prada to shame.

KOFIE YEBOAH: Wall, I apologize for not picking you. I love you. Raleigh be the city.

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: Only if this is Gang Sign John Wall.

KOFIE YEBOAH: Gang Sign John Wall would have gone No. 1 at the lowest.

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16. Devin Booker

Age in 2021: 24 (6 seasons)

KOFIE YEBOAH: Devin Booker has shown flashes of brilliance, though he has some things to improve of course. I picked him so high because the craziest part about Booker is that he’s only 20 years old now. He has time to improve and get even better. The potential is scary.

Everyone else’s reactions

RICKY O’DONNELL: I still can’t believe John Calipari played the Harrison twins over him when it counted at Kentucky.

DAVE KING, BRIGHT SIDE OF THE SUN: We believe that the 24-year old Booker will be an All-Star by 2021, maybe even multiple-times, so a No. 16 overall ranking makes sense. If Booker can lead the Suns to the playoffs by then, he might even rank higher at his NBA peak.

TOM ZILLER: This is a good pick. There may not be a better pure scorer under the age of 25 right now. (Dion Waiters is 25, for the record.)

MATT ELLENTUCK: I love Booker, but he’s going to need to add to his game to be in top-16 consideration. Can he become a playmaker? A solid defender? Right now we only know he can do one thing with consistency: shoot the damn ball to perfection.

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: I side with Matt on this one. Booker can fill it up, but he’s gotta step the other facets of his game up to be a top-20 guy.

CHRIS GREENBERG: Dig the pick. Agree that Booker must continue to develop non-scoring aspects of his game, but believe he will.

More reading material

15. Marvin Bagley

Age in 2021: 22 (3 seasons)

MIKE PRADA: It’s time for my customary foolish gamble on a high schooler in the teens! In 2011, I picked Austin Rivers. Welp. Last time, I went with Julius Randle. A little better, but not great either.

Thing is, there is always at least one high schooler who grows into a top-15 player in four years. Karl-Anthony Towns and Giannis Antetokounmpo weren’t in the NBA in 2013, but belong in the top-15 discussion now. Anthony Davis, Kyrie Irving, and Kawhi Leonard weren’t in the NBA when we did this exercise in 2011, but all were potential top-15 players in 2015. (OK, maybe not Leonard by then, but you get my point).

We know someone who is not currently in the league will be a top-15 player in 2021. I just suck at predicting that player.

So why Bagley? I watched a highlight video, read Ricky O’Donnell’s terrific feature on him, picked his brain for further advice, and got hooked. That’s pretty much it. This is very scientific.

Third time’s the charm! (Or, sell your stock on Bagley’s pro career post haste).

Everyone else’s reactions

KOFIE YEBOAH: /Watches Ballislife mixtape.

youtube

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh. I’m with it.

RICKY O’DONNELL: I watched Bagley play point guard for his grassroots team this spring and was immediately sold. I can see him really developing his ball skills as he goes on in his career and gets some real coaching. I’ve mostly heard him compared to two players: Anthony Davis and Lamar Odom. That’s a hell of a combination.

MIKE PRADA: See! Ricky believes me!

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: This is a slap in the face of the Dion Waiters of the world.

ZITO MADU: I was confused how this could be a Prada pick and not Ricky’s, but it looks like you two conspired to get Bagley this high. There’s a bit of corruption going on with this, I see.

TOM ZILLER: Dammit, Prada just ruined Marvin Bagley’s career.

CHRIS GREENBERG: Wait, didn’t Bol Bol’s team top Bagley’s squad at Nike EYBL in April?

MIKE PRADA: Ricky’s story illuminates why that happened.

14. Nikola Jokic

Age in 2021: 26 (6 seasons)

MATT ELLENTUCK: Letting the Joker slip this deep is a crime. The quietest rising star of the 2016-17 season is years ahead of schedule already. He’s an offensive magician whose incredibly efficient shooting pales in comparison to his savvy passing and guard-like skills. Every shooter is better with Jokic on the floor. By 2021, I’m willing to bet a good team is built around him.

Everyone else’s reactions

TIM CATO: I think this is a perfect spot for Jokic, honestly. At his peak, he’s the uniquely gifted lead player on an above-average offense who plays good defense. That’s probably never going to be more than a top-15 player, but I’m all in on his potential.

TOM ZILLER: No one knew who Jokic was a year ago, and letting him slip to third-team All-NBA in a Future Rankings is a crime? I love Jokic but let’s not act like his future dominance is anything like assured.

MIKE PRADA: What if I told you that Jokic will make an All-NBA team next year? Because I think he will.

ADAM MARES, DENVER STIFFS: The year is 2029. Nikola Jokic drops 40-10-7 on Kristaps Porzingis and the New York Knicks. The media is impressed, but still certain that Porzingis has more upside.

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: I just want Jokic to stay healthy.

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13. Stephen Curry

Age in 2021: 33 (12 seasons)

RICKY O’DONNELL: Curry has never won with his athleticism. Even at age 33, he’ll still be the best shooter in the world and one of the NBA’s most electric players with the ball in his hands. I don’t see any way how Damian Lillard, Kyrie Irving, or even Russell Westbrook is going to pass him up over the next four years.

Everyone else’s reactions

CHARLIE STANTON, GOLDEN STATE OF MIND: For the life of me, I can’t think of 12 players now or in the next four years who will be better than a 33-year-old Steph. Malik Monk? Michael Porter? Bol Bol? Wait, I got it — Grayson Allen. There it is.

Editor’s Note: It was none of those players.

Curry is a top-five player in the league, and I have no reason to expect him to drop a full eight spots. He stays in the top seven.

TIM CATO: Curry should’ve been top-10, at least.

MIKE PRADA: Definitely would have taken him over a handful of folks ahead of him on this list.

BRADY KLOPFER, GOLDEN STATE OF MIND: I also don’t think Steph will fall this far. Shooting — especially given his quick release — isn’t really a trait that diminishes with age. His crossover and finishing ability may take a slight step backwards, but they’re certainly not skills that rely on his athleticism (or lack thereof).

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: I didn’t take anyone 30 or over in this draft, and I ain’t bending that rule for Curry.

CHRIS GREENBERG: Spoken like someone in his 20s who can’t fathom that noted olds Magic, Hakeem, MJ, Nash, Russell, Wilt, Dr. J, Kareem, and the Mailman won MVP Awards in their age 30 seasons or later.

TOM ZILLER: Or that LeBron James, 32, is arguably still the best player in the world.

KOFIE YEBOAH: I tried to have the same age mentality as Kristian in this draft. Also are we sure that James isn’t immortal?

ZITO MADU: Curry feels too low? I can already see the snarky tweets from Warriors Twitter. Of course, I’m partially responsible for it.

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12. Damian Lillard

Age in 2021: 30 (9 seasons)

ZITO MADU: Lillard had his best year individually last season, averaging 27 points, six assists. and five rebounds, all while shooting a career high 44 percent from the field and 89.5 percent from the free-throw line. By 2021, Lillard should be better, and if he’s not better, some website will mention it and he’ll use the slight as motivation to burn the league down.

Everyone else’s reactions

DAVE DECKARD, BLAZERS EDGE: Unless he picks up some defense, we may be seeing peak Lillard already, but that's plenty good and should last. You can hardly slip a piece of notebook paper between him and the elite guards of his generation.

WHITNEY MEDWORTH: Lillard won’t be this good in 2021, but we’ll all talk about how he should be.

CHRIS GREENBERG: Want Zito to be right because Lillard is fun as anyone to watch when he’s cooking. But think Whitney is probably closer to the truth.

MIKE PRADA: Zito must be worried about suffering the wrath of a scorned Lillard. It’s hard for me to see him being better than Steph in four years, even with the age difference.

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11. James Harden

Age in 2021: 31 (12 seasons)

TOM ZILLER: Five straight all-star appearances, a guy who twice been an NBA MVP runner-up, a player who misses an average of three games per season over his career. He turns 28 this summer. Harden is going to be around in the upper levels of the league for a long, long time.

Everyone else’s reactions

MAX CROES, THE DREAM SHAKE: My immediate seething outrage at seeing James Harden No. 11 is quelled only by the rules of this draft. At this point, we're experiencing the Beard's ninth All-Star game, more than Pau Gasol, Scottie Pippen, Tracy McGrady, Grant Hill, Steve Nash, Dwight Howard... you get the idea.

MIKE PRADA: Should’ve gone higher, though I’m a little worried that Harden hasn’t always kept himself in peak physical condition, which manifests itself in the numerous defensive blooper reels floating around YouTube and the occasional ISO-ball stagnation. That might come back to bite him as he ages.

TIM CATO: I promise you he’s in shape right now, at least.

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: That boy cut up. I need to be in the gym with him.

TIM CATO: Don’t we roast you enough at work already? We don’t need Harden doing it, too.

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: I’ll see you whenever you get back to NYC, Tim. Hands on sight.

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INTRO | FULL LIST | TOP 100 OF 2017 | HOW WE DID IN 2013 | SNUBS | 101-91 | 90-81 | 80-71 | 70-61 | 60-51 | 50-41 | 40-31 | 30-21 | 20-11 | 10-1 | THE CASES FOR NO. 1

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