#to the internet i hate siri or ok google or whatever the hell i hate being sent random notifications

[icewindandboringhorror]

Begrudgingly trying to look for a new phone because my current one (which I’ve had for 8 years) is having some issues but like......hhh.. Every person I know who has a newer phone like.. theirs SUCKS lol.. you can’t take the back off/battery out, some you can’t even change out the microSD because apparently they expect you to just use evil ~~cloud storage~~ or whatever nonsense, they come with so many apps built in which you can disable but not fully delete (wasting space on the phone), can’t control when updates happen, one of my friend’s has to be connected to the internet just to get voicemails??? like having to be connected to wifi or mobile data just for some BASIC functionalities is insane (I prefer to keep my internet disabled at all times unless using it, hate the idea of just being internet connected constantly in the background and having all these apps sending and receiving data and giving dumbass notifications when I’m not even actively using them), SOME of them don’t even have a built-in GENERIC notes app or media player (like I’m just supposed to download spotify instead of using my collection of youtube to mp3 files?? lmao) or photo viewer (I know someone who doesn’t have a generic ‘photos’ app, just “Google Photos’ which prompts them to make an account and login every time they open the wretched thing), etc. etc. etc. 

Genuinely, if it weren’t for my need to be able to use the internet to map and check bus directions/look up things on the go when needed, organize/transport files, and take photos on a whim when I may not have my camera with me - I would legit just get one of those basic non-smart phones where you can only text and make calls lol ... alas... ToT

[aforrestofstuff]

“Is this the ask box? Dude I have no idea where to submit crap but here it goes: The S Class have a group chat, what’s it called and do they chat shit about Amai Mask in it? Does anyone send memes? What do they talk about? I feel as if you’re the best person to ask crap like this too”

You sent me a submission. But that’s ok, tumblr is hard. It took me like 4 months to figure out how to turn anon on so you’re already a step ahead of me lol.

How the S-Class heroes text and what they would do in a group chat:

So, the name of the group chat would probably just be “S-Class”. Nobody really wastes their time trying to change it because Child Emperor would just change it back.

Yes, they make snide remarks about Amai all the time. Metal Bat especially.

I’m gonna give a rundown on what each S-Class hero does in the group chat and then give you their texting style when talking to other people (with a screenshot):

Tornado of Terror:

Group chat: Only talks shit in the group chat. Pulls no punches. She’s salty 24/7 and only agreed to be a member of the chat just so she can berate the other S-Class heroes in the event that they fuck up even a little bit.

Texting style: Her texting style is a lot. Just... a lot of words in caps. If you don’t respond to her within five minutes, she’ll spam the living hell out of your phone. She’s so angry. Someone help her.

Silverfang:

Group chat: Nonexistent. He reads all of the messages but never participates in conversation. He rarely ever uses his phone anyway. The Messages app is the only app on his home screen.

Texting style: A... lot... of.... dots..... Texts like an old man on Facebook. He doesn’t know how to implement contact names so he just memorizes everyone’s number.

Atomic Samurai:

Group chat: Also nonexistent. He has that shithead boomer attitude that all new technology is evil and useless, so he doesn’t even bother reading the messages in the chat either.

Texting style: he rarely uses his phone. He just has one because Iaian’s cell carrier gave him a freebie. Atomic Samurai texts surprisingly well, he’s just super salty about it. His only contacts are his three disciples, and he would’ve had to resort to remembering their numbers like Silverfang had they not put their names in themselves.

Child Emperor:

Group chat: serves as moderator. He basically does anything the Hero Association execs doesn’t wanna do, so he’s in charge of keeping the group chat friendly (which is almost impossible).

Texting style: perfect grammar. Very professional. All of his contacts are labeled specifically and he uses a different phone each week because he’s paranoid of any information leaks.

Metal Knight:

Group chat: He would be a moderator like Child Emperor but then the Hero Association grew a brain cell and said fuck that. Because of this, he’s requested to be left out of it. He wouldn’t give enough of a fuck to read the messages nor engage in any discussion anyway.

Texting style: Very demanding. Short texts. Uses a different phone each week like Child Emperor because lord knows he’s got a lot of shit to hide.

King:

Group chat: he’s not even in the group chat and he thinks it’s because nobody’s noticed, but the truth is that everyone knows it and they’re either too intimidated or don’t give enough of a shit to ask. He gets nervous every time someone mentions it in a meeting because he would rather swallow a microwave than have to talk to his coworkers any more than he already has.

Texting style: pretty normal. Lenient on grammar, uses acronyms, texts at normal intervals. His phone is full of pics of anime catpeople and he gets Discord notifications a metric-fuckton times a day from the many, many gaming servers he’s part of (nobody knows it’s him though).

Zombieman:

Group chat: lurks. He reads only the important messages and responds with one-worded texts. Usually just things to let everyone know he understands what’s going on like “got it” or, “affirmative”.

Texting style: he knows how to use his phone, but in a middle-aged suburban dad sort of way. He only ever uses it to read the news, take pictures of crime scenes or important documents, use the notepad, and text a select few people. He gets new phones often—not quite as often as Child Emperor or Metal Knight—because he’s also paranoid about it falling into the wrong hands. In addition to that, technology hates him. Siri never listens because his voice is fucky as all hell.

Drive Knight:

Group chat: He doesn’t even have a cellphone, nor is he in the group chat. He’s basically a walking computer so he’s got 0 use for a phone. And he’s not in the group chat because he specifically requested that he not be put in it on account of the fact that he doesn’t give enough of a shit about his coworkers’ internal affairs.

Texting style: Doesn’t text. Like I said, he doesn’t have a cellphone. If he wants to get a message across, he’ll communicate it over comms. Like a weirdo.

Pig God:

Group chat: Is surprisingly active? I think I’ve said this before in a previous hc, but the main three things he does all hours of the day are use the internet, eat, and do hero work (which also counts as eating). So, lo and behold, he’s got a lot of spare time to communicate with everyone over text. It’s easier for him to talk over text than it is in person, since he’s really shy. His real personality really shines through. Proud of him.

Texting style: Basically like any regular teen. Uses acronyms, sends the occasional meme, leaves people on read for hours at time because he can’t be bothered to pick up the phone, and has no care whatsoever for grammar.

Superalloy Darkshine:

Group chat: Super active. Engages in nearly every conversation and almost serves as a mediator whenever it comes to arguments. He’s really positive and doesn’t like conflict so he’ll do whatever he can to alleviate any tension between anyone in the chat in the event that it arises. If Child Emperor wasn’t moderator, it would be him. He also exchanges boomer-ass fitness memes with Tanktop Master. The two of them just kind of have their little side conversations while everyone else is talking about a completely different thing. They’re best bros.

Texting style: Like I said, he’s super positive. He’ll use emojis every other word and a LOT of exclamation points because he feels there’s not much else he can do to express his perpetual excitement about everything. He takes care of his phone relatively well considering his whole schtick is tanking damage. He might need to get it repaired every once and a while because he absolutely REFUSES to get a new one. He grows attached to objects really easily and losing something he’s had for so long would feel like losing a close friend.

Watchdog Man:

Group chat: not even in it. He can’t even text because no phone in the world can detect his fingers through the super thick pads of his suit. He doesn’t even have a phone for this reason. Why would he need one when he’s in the same place all hours of the day?

Texting style: like I said, he doesn’t even have a phone. If he did, he’d probably eat it. Not because he’s too dumb to know the difference, but because he feels that’s the only use it’ll serve to him.

Flashy Flash:

Group chat: Only reads the important messages and engages in conversation when it serves to humor him. He’s not super talkative, but when he is, he’s got a LOT to say. He usually just quarrels with Tatsumaki whenever she gets smart with someone. It’s a wonder she hasn’t killed him yet.

Texting style: Sort of formal. He texts exactly like how he talks. He goes the extra mile to use proper grammar and even thinks emojis/acronyms are frivolous. Pretty pretentious, but he gets whatever point he’s trying to communicate across quite well.

Genos:

Group chat: I can’t decide between him either being super involved in the chat or not giving a shit at all so I’m just gonna flip a coin here... Super involved! He’s got something to say on every topic and voices his opinion with no filter. Aside from that, he doesn’t really engage in conversation very much. He just sort of drops in every so often to give the take of the century and dips the fuck out.

Texting style: Basically like Flashy Flash’s style. He texts exactly like how he talks, uses near perfect grammar, and thinks emojis/acronyms are a waste of time. Occasionally, Saitama will convince him to “act like a teenager” and type “lol”, but it never sticks. You could say... he’s programmed that way. Hehe.

Metal Bat:

Group chat: Shit-talker in chief. He initiates all discourse on Amai Mask and nobody really complains since they’re all in the same Amai Mask hate club, practically. If anyone’s sending good memes, it’ll be him. He’s got no filter and voices his opinions with no fear, taking no prisoners and shit-talking everyone equally.

Texting style: Gen Z to the extreme. Uses emojis, acronyms, the whole shebang. He’s young enough to have grown up on technology so he knows how to use his phone well. The phone itself, however, is barely functioning. If it could talk it would be saying “kill me...” because Badd drops it, smashes it, and breaks it 24/7. The only thing he does to repair it is apply some scotch tape and call it a day. It looks like shit. He doesn’t want to get a new one until the one he has now is COMPLETELY broken.

Tanktop Master:

Group chat: Like I said, he and Superalloy Darkshine have their own side conversations while everyone else is on a completely different topic. They exchange boomer-ass memes about fitness and shit. Other than that, he doesn’t really participate outside of the occasional one-word text that lets everyone know he understands what’s being said.

Texting style: Dad. He texts like a dad. Not a smart dad either, like a tryhard dad that had just googled internet terminology and uses it in all the wrong ways. He doesn’t use emojis because there’s so many that he gets overwhelmed. He tries though, by god he tries.

Puri-Puri Prisoner:

Group chat: Basically a mediator like Superalloy. He doesn’t really like conflict and does his best to spread love and cheer but to no avail, since everyone else is a huge drag. He engages well in conversation and offers his input on plans. He’s a pretty active and well-rounded member.

Texting style: one problem, though. He’s not supposed to have a phone in prison. His texting style is very abbreviated and almost illegible because he has to get the message across as fast as possible before anyone notices he has a cellphone. The phone itself is old as hell and smells like ass. For obvious reasons.