#tol romcom rewatch

[lurkingshan]

Theory of Love: The Romcom Rewatch

It's happening, folks! @bengiyo sealed his fate with a comment on the most recent episode of @the-conversation-pod, in which he mentioned that the next time he watches Theory of Love, he wants to start with watching the film in parallel with the episode that references it. Since this show is an all time favorite for me and my bestie @neuroticbookworm, there was simply no way we were going to let this golden opportunity pass us by, and we're dragging a few friends in with us. As always, never underestimate my ability to turn a stray thought into a whole project.

So here's how it will work! Every Saturday for the next 13 weeks we will watch the featured film + its corresponding TOL episode and post our shared thoughts about the relevant themes and points of interest. Here is the full list of films in order:

Dear Dakanda

Love Actually

Friends with Benefits

Crazy Stupid Love

10 Things I Hate About You

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Flipped

The Proposal

The Last Moment

Begin Again

He’s Just Not That Into You

My Girl

Stand By Me

I wanted to share this on tumblr in case anyone else would like to join us, either by reading along and engaging with our weekly posts, or by watching and posting your own thoughts. We'll aim to post on Saturdays, but anyone should feel free to jump in and join us anytime throughout the week. We'll use the tag [#tol romcom rewatch] to make it easy to find everyone's posts. If you're having trouble tracking down any of the films, let us know and we will crowdsource the issue.

Hope to see some of you as we discuss!

[bengiyo]

We Figured Out Where I Heard That Song in Theory of Love Episode 10

This post is mostly for the BL OG's who care about earworms.

Every time I've watched Theory of Love since 2019, I get caught up in the song Ching Ching is singing in her audition for their play in episode 10. Since we had @happypotato48 with us for the Theory of Love Romcom Rewatch project, I got him to help me figure out what song she's singing, and he revealed that it is รักไม่ต้องการเวลา by Klear.

Now that I finally knew what the damn song was, I surmised that it must have been from the first wave of BL, in likely Make It Right, but potentially Love Sick or SOTUS. I asked @troubled-mind, @negrowhat, @ctl-yuejie, @benkaben, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @absolutebl, and @respectthepetty if they remembered it. ctl-yuejie suggested it must be from Make It Right based on its common appearance on OST playlists, and Josi mentioned tat NuNew had done a cover of it.

Foolishly, I presumed that the song must have been in Make It Right Season 2, so I started there. Let me tell you, after 8 years the overuse of the soundtrack in that season has not aged well at all, and the Book Frame storyline is carrying the show for at least six episodes.

However! Pluem found the song yesterday when I was chatting with him and @so-much-yet-to-learn about it! It is in Make It Right 1x08 at the 39:40 mark when Fuse and Tee are having an emotional conversation by the pool that ends in a series of romantic camera angle kisses.

I am so glad to have this mystery solved so that I can finally rest. Shout out to @lurkingshan, @twig-tea, @solitaryandwandering, and @neuroticbookworm who listened to me mention this repeatedly for over two weeks as I searched for this answer.

Thank you again to @happypotato48 for putting up with searching through Thai websites for me to find the answer.

[twig-tea]

TOL Romcom Rewatch Week 7: Flipped

It is so nice to be writing this post on time! This week we watched Flipped, which is a film I had forgotten I’d watched, because I had memory shelved it so hard (for good reason–see @lurkingshan’s post). While the film itself was not good, thinking about the parallels with Theory of Love was really fun, and it felt like the most plot parallels we’ve had to date.

@solitaryandwandering asked me whether my thesis from last week's 1-6 round-up post--that there were actually good messages in these films for Third to learn from, if Third watched them more closely--continued into this week, and I think the answer is yes! The biggest thing Third missed, to me, is that when Juli realizes that Bryce sucks, she tells him outright and to his face what he did and why she was no longer interested in him, not even as a friend. This, then, emboldens Bryce, first to change his behaviour and then to make amends. In contrast, Third has only at best hinted that he knew ("you played with my emotions!"), but he didn't outright confront him on anything except how frequently he changes partners. Khai doesn’t actually know that Third knows that Khai intentionally tried to bait him into confessing. At this point in the story, Khai thinks Third is done with him because he kissed Third and said Praew’s name, and that him expressing sincerity with someone had the intended effect of making Third get over him (which is also partially true). This means that, unlike Bryce, Khai doesn’t yet know what he’s up against in terms of making Third trust any of his behaviour, which explains some of his stumbles in this episode (in addition to the insights Shan already talked about in her post re: Khai having no experience with dating a man, or dating a friend, or wanting to date Third, or particularly caring about any of his previous partners). 

One of the things I love about this perspective flip is how effectively it is used in the series; it’s something I especially love thinking about in the context of having watched this film, which did not use this device effectively. Having seen Khai’s behaviour from Third’s perspective, when we didn’t know what he was thinking, was really effective in hiding how much Khai knew, whether his behaviour was intentionally romantic, and whether it was sincere. It meant we felt the heartbreak with Third when we realized with him what Khai was actually doing. Now that Khai is genuinely being sincere about having romantic interest in Third, the most effective way for us as an audience to trust that is to hear Khai think it so that (unlike Third) we can feel certain in his intentions (even if we don’t trust that his feelings are going to last, or that he deserves reciprocation yet), and instead sit with Khai on his uncertainty about how Third is going to take his advances, whether he still has any feelings for Khai, and whether his sincerity will be believed. And in case we don't just trust Khai's thoughts (which is so fair after the first six episodes), we get to see him reject a girl, and have a physical reaction to Third, all of which is important in reinforcing that he is sincere.

I also just love seeing Third be distant, competent, cold, and difficult to read from Khai's perspective, after having seen inside Third's head for weeks and knowing that he is an angsty mess on the inside.

And on the flipside, we see that Khai does not realize that he comes across to the entire campus as such a douche, which is very fun after having sat with Third and knowing exactly what people see on the outside. The scene where he improvises on Third's script (based on himself, unbeknownst to him) and perfectly portrays the character is not something he understands as a bad thing, but the director is quick to point out that yes, this is perfect because it's exactly what a player would say.

I also speculated in last week’s post that we might be moving into more Khai-coded films with the change in perspective, but we know that Flipped is Third’s favourite movie, so I don’t think that’s the case (at least not yet). But I will be thinking about the plot of this film, knowing that Khai knows how much Third loves this movie, in the weeks to come.

[neuroticbookworm]

I am ridiculously late on my Theory of Love Romcom Rewatch Project posts, but I just wanna make a quick declaration that as of episode 12, I no longer think Two and Bone are good friends. The tepid apology for how they treated Khai after the fallout was not sufficient, and my Khai Apologist heart has demoted them and will hold this grudge till the day I die.

[happypotato48]

Theory of Love Romcom Watch Along Episode 5 : 10 Things I Hate About You (Lazy Unhinged Edition)

Well well well well well well well well well (somebody stop me) well well well. It's 10 Things i Hate About You time, i haven't watch this movie since i was a wee little lad and i can say with my whole chest that this movie mostly hold up despite me not being snarky 15 years old anymore (i'm still snarky just not 15 anymore T_T) unlike many of my friends that participate in this project i'm probably the least familiar with shakespeare's works which i like to ratify soon since i tend to enjoys shakespeare modern adaptations and references. like my biggest fictional sad old man crush is based on Prospero from the Tempest ffs. anyway one thing that stuck out to as very positive for me from this movie is how poetically it feels i never read the The Taming of the Shrew but i noticed some line that probably came from the play, the well written scripts and the dialogues feels witty and sharp this movie did came off as a very well done modern (1999) take of shakespeare work.

Now to a side segment just for this week it's time to throw shades at Mr. Jojo Tichakorn as i had promised my good friend @lurkingshan. THK, The Heart forking Killers. first let let me say some positive stuff so some of you nerds would know that i'm not just a hater (i'm a snarky slightly crazy bitch that hope one day these posts would not come back and bite me in the ass when i enter the BL industry.)

THK mostly did an ok Job as adaptations/inspired by of 10 Things i Hate About You, some emotion do works well translate from the movie and i will give credit where the credit due i think the fall out and the resolution after the lie got discovered is handled pretty good in the show unlike the movie where it feels rushed and half baked.

Ok now after i said the all nice things let get mean!! most of THK dialogues are lame AF. it's like someone took a lot of the wittiness of the movie out and replaced that with lame tired and cliche BL dialogues. most of the actors ate their roles but even that some lines feels listless and lack flair. instead of charm the show sometime came off as trying too hard or trying too little to be charming. and that is the problem Thai language as a tonal language has a lot of possibility to do and says so much more interesting stuff but because it's a GMMTV show the dialogues feels stripped of any potential and ended up being generic and sanitized.

I'm the same with @solitaryandwandering feelling about the side stories. i'm so bored with them, i love you mike with all my heart but i can't spend another minute watching you and what her face hitting on each other. that being said i'm still intrigued by our main fuckboi Khai and loser with zero braincell Third even tho they're aggravating me so much. Khai continuingly semi unpurposefully hurts Third but the crack starts to show in this ep that he seems to some degree to know what is going on with Third.

In Thai he says "When he came to sleep with me like a wife, then i'd talk nicely to him." Khai maybe is in deny or he just an absolute asshole that let his subconscious hurts Third this badly. but it's clear he is catching up and acting out on purpose. and Third in his infinitely dumbassery refused to uses his god danm words. and the end those two ended were they always do uncommunicative and stuck in the a cycle of this toxic friendships. these two needs time out and spend time apart to reevaluate themselves and grows as people before i'd buy any kind of kind romantic relationship. but this is a BL sooo let see where this goes.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Dear Dakanda (2005)

[impala124]

Theory of love Episode 1: I hate myself for loving you

Well well well, what do we have here? Could it be my half-baked thoughts on Dear Dakanda, a movie I was supposed to have finished watching 3 days ago, but couldn't get through in a single sitting because I was too busy face-palming myself the whole time, and how it relates to episode 1 of Theory of love? Yes, it is.

The film is about a shy art student, who's in love with his bestfriend but is unwilling to confess because he's scared of losing their friendship.

Third in his review of the film:

I was practically cheering for Khaiyoi. I felt relieved for him.

Even though the film is told from Mhoo's perspective, we know very little about the man himself, other than his unrequited love, which made it really hard for me to root for him. So, Third was definitely projecting onto Mhoo.

As @lurkingshan has already pointed out, Third sees himself in Mhoo and has chosen to out do him in his pining for his bestfriend. It makes me wonder when Third saw Dear Dakanda for the first time, whether it was before meeting Khai or after. He and Khai had a meet-cute which is similar to that of Mhoo and Dakanda, atleast that's how Mhoo views it.

If he had watched the movie prior to meeting Khai, then he was just setting himself up for failure by comparing Khai to Dakanda. Now, if it were the latter, I wonder why he couldn't see himself in Nui rather than Mhoo. Maybe Nui was too honest about her feelings for Third to relate to her. I'm pretty sure that one of the reasons Third likes Khai is because Khai isn't afraid of confrontation, unlike him. Khai goes to the film sceening of a guy his ex chose over him, just to publicly humilate the guy. Third can't even himself to show Khai the concert tickets he bought for them to go together.

Side note about their meet-cute: It's a reference to the characters from My girl, which credits the director of Dear Dakanda as one of its screenwriters. If I'm remembering it right, My girl is also on the list.

@neuroticbookworm made a note about the romanticisation of pining in the movie and I'm pretty sure Third caught that because he was embodying it. As harsh as it might sound, the suffering of both Third and Mhoo is self-inflicted.

At no point were they given any indication that their feelings might be reciprocated and yet, they continue to resent the other person for treating them 'only' as a friend. I understand yearning, I love it, but give me some insight into the character before showing them as a pathetic loser (my favorite genre of men, if I may say so myself).

@bengiyo made an interesting note about the overtly heterosexual bubble Third lives in. This gave me a whiplash because in 2025, I'm kinda used to bls where queerness is the norm. We don't know anything about Third's past experiences and how long he's known that he's attracted to men to make any judgements here, but let me just note that Third is not some wallflower, he's part of a clique that is rather popular. Now that Two saw Third crying in the dark over Khai, maybe he'll find an ally, because Third definitely needs someone in his corner.

Something I'm interested in knowing more about is what Khai brings to his friendship with Third. Third repeatedly says that being friends with Khai is better than nothing, so he can't be a friend that flakes on him constantly, as he did in this episode. Hope you're not that much of a masochist, Third!!

Mini-rant:

Having Dakanda mention that she broke up with her boyfriend in her letter to Mhoo was definitely a choice and I wonder how much of that factored into Mhoo mailing her the postcards in return. Also, Mhoo writing I'm happy that, in the end, the thing that lasts the longest and can't easily be ruined is our friendship and ending the postcard by stating that this will be his last correspondence with her doesn't sit right with me.

Of course, one can outgrow a friendship, but, was Mhoo only friends with Dakanda in the hope that she might wake up one day and see him in a romantic light? That would be rather disingenuous now, wouldn't it?Is a female friend worth having only if she's a potential romantic partner? Is the narrative punishing Dakanda for not recognising Mhoo's quiet pining and replying with Why did you confess now?after he let her know about his feelings for her by having her break up with her boyfriend? This whole sequence reeks of valourization of Mhoo's unrequited love over Dakanda getting herself a boyfriend and Third definitely feels the same way about his pining and Khai's flings. Told y'all, I can't look at het romantic relationships objectively because biases start kicking in.

(OR)

Maybe it's about Mhoo choosing to move forward in his life instead of trying to see what can become of his relationship with Dakanda, now that she's aware of his feelings towards her.

We can't know for sure, but I feel like it's a bit of both.

[dramalove247]

🐠 Dori: Did I start my week off binging Theory of Love on my day off? Yes, yes I did. And I have a few hours before work today to finish the series.

I have been listening to the song What Would You Do by Wonho on repeat (it's on my "currently obsessed" playlist) and I can't hear it without thinking of Theory of Love. The chorus reminds me of Third so much and how their rolls reverse. So in true If You Give A Mouse A Cookie fashion, I had to re-watch the series and I am enjoying it so much the second time!

I'm excited to see the tag has some action right now! I am looking forward to reading other people's posts. 😍

[gmdramalove]

LOL! Apparently you're in the mood for some pain. Excellent choices. Which did you settle on?

I just binged my second watch of Theory of Love in 2.5 days and it was a lot of "fun". And apparently there is a group of people on Tumblr re-watching it right now, so that's fun. I love reading what other people are saying about a series.

feeling an urge to rewatch either theory of love or love mechanics to be sad and angry about sweet boys in love with assholes

[waitmyturtles]

Gelboys, and the Delicious Art of Eliciting Cringe

A bunch of my amazing friends are doing an amazing project in rewatching the wonderful 2019 drama, Theory of Love, and watching the romcom films that are thematically associated with each ToL episode. Their recent ToL posts have gotten me thinking about Third and cringe.

When I think about Theory of Love, I always firstly think about wanting to chuck a chancla at Third's conker.

I'm a Khai defender, even while admitting that he was a gigantic putz to Third during a lot of the series. But, as the lovely @lurkingshan said to me when I first tuned into ToL -- Third was the architect of his own misery.

Oh, indeed he was. This incommunicative wet blanket! I wanted to keep yelling at Third: if you crush on a person, they can't read yer mind until you say something about it!

Third filled me with a sense of dread and cringe. He couldn't bring himself to communicate his crush on Khai to Khai. My dread came from watching Khai continue to do his Khai things, with my knowing that Third would get increasingly heartbroken vis à vis Khai, without Third intervening unto himself to stop his cascade into misery until it was too late for him. As a viewer, I saw Third devolve, slowly crumbling into more and more despair.

In my 2023 review of Theory of Love, I argued that part of the show's brilliance in presenting such a pitiful Third at the start was a brilliant narrative move to lull us viewers into feeling a sense of implicit empathy towards Third -- a sympathetic bias that would then lead to us viewers to not question Third on his actually very questionable decisions. I thought it was such a good play on the part of the screenwriters to tease us viewers like this.

What I'm absolutely LOVING about the currently-airing Gelboys are similar feelings of simultaneous empathy and cringe for the guys in the love triangle that's been established as of episode three among Fou4mod, Chian, and Bua.

We were first presented with Fou4mod and his life deal: his wildin' family, his musical predilections, his bisexuality -- and his very strong internal demand for clarity in relationships. Surely the moment of crying in the mall to end episode one gave me the teeny-bopper shivers, but I got the strongest sense of cringe from Fou4mod's behavior at the end of episode two, when we saw him -- in real time!!! -- compromise and negotiate around his internal emotional compass for the sake of keeping the waffling Chian close to him.

(h/t @clairedaring )

That shit was just painful to watch (and it was AMAZINGLY well done). For my sake, it was particularly painful because I could so, so, SO relate to being just like that when I was a teenager.

I'm an old mom and auntie now, but ::hacking cough:: back in mah day, I remember being a 15-year-old teenager and thinking that my only rule in relationships would be that if I was lucky enough to date someone cute, then that would be all I'd need. I wouldn't demand anything else. I'd consider myself worthy if someone cute liked me back.

Cue the sirens and alarms! Someone should have, because of course, with that mindset, I got myself into a whole lot of messy-ass shit, dealing with a bunch of assholes during and well after my college years. I had a common mix of low self-esteem and and ill-conceived priorities that led me to date a string of incompatible dillweeds until I got myself into more mature relationships from my mid-20s on (with those relationships not always being perfect ones, either).

I find the cringe that Fou4mod and Chian present to be SO particularly viscerally painful because, to me -- it is SO relatable.

We have here teenagers who don't know what they're thinking, what they're feeling, what they're even doing -- because they don't have the comparative life experience to know what their actions might result in by way of what we, as the more mature and invisible audience, expect as their natural emotional ends. Fou4mod and Chian have no idea, because this is the first time they're going through these waffling human interactions, in love, dating, courtship, relationships, hook-ups, whatever.

Take even Chian's waffling and cringey behavior. I am loving all the varied takes on Chian (cc @tinrange and @mirmoria). It is so easy at this point, now that we've consumed episode three, to perhaps demonize Chian, and I definitely feel at times like I want to do that, too.

But I want to take a step back and assess Chian's existence as we know it at this moment -- from my perspective, of all things, as a worried mom, and as a former teen myself.

I love what @tinrange presented in her post about Chian's existence and status as a teenager who is very, very alone, and is looking for some kind of connection ANYWHERE, no matter how unhealthy he knows, and his friends know, those connections to be. Chian is so alone, we might even consider his current state one of (temporary?) abandonment. I love that his moment getting advice from chatGPT shocked so many of us to states of stomach discomfort.

But, also -- this kid is ALWAYS connected online. The headphones are in. Killing time with his napping and/or studying friends, watching a drama on 2.0x. Scrolling IG endlessly. Repeatedly editing his Close Friends list. Thinking about the symbolism of sharing a story to literally one person. Receiving the heartbreak, in silence, of realizing those symbolic efforts keep cyclically coming to naught as Bua flip-flops his attention to others.

Chian is in an almost constant state of distraction. During the very few times that we see him disconnected -- like the moment above, when he sees Bua with Moo after doing Bua's nails (like a chump), or the moment when he negotiates his unclear status with Fou4mod -- he is able to, finally, get in touch with the discomfort of the instability of his status with Bua. And it's clearly breaking him.

But he's not stopping the cycle, as of episode three. His wheel, for now, seems to keep turning in the same direction, back towards his attraction to Bua, almost serving Bua the attention that Bua wants, on a platter.

Chian, I'd posit, doesn't have the life experience yet to know how to break that cycle. From the perspective of a worried mom, what would I say to Chian? "That Bua guy is a POS, you gotta move on"?

My advice would be useless, we know that. We know Chian's not been listening to his friends, to the point of his friends giving up on Chian, knowing Chian is going to repeat the cycle of servitude and rejection that he's been dishing up to Bua.

But besides Chian not listening to his friends, I'll say again that Chian -- especially without the physical presence of supportive and empathetic family near him to give him perhaps sounder advice than his friends -- does not have the guidance or skill set to know HOW to change his behavior. He might only be able to break away from Bua when Bua does something idiotic or drastic. Which, we know, will leave Chian even more in the dumps -- because that specific scenario would leave Chian with absolutely no agency to change his hoped-for outcomes.

WE, as the viewers, know how Chian needs to change his behavior. But Chian, as a very wonderfully written natural teenager, has no idea how to do that yet. And I think that's just so very raw and realistic, and it's being beautifully done in this show.

What was great about Khai in Theory of Love was that, in the second half of the series, we saw him engage in very specific acts of behavioral change to get to a place to be a realistic partner to Third. I talked in my ToL piece about how behavioral change is very much the most difficult type of change a human can make.

While I don't have a lot of hope for a positive outcome for Chian (YET), I am at least encouraged by Fou4mod continuing to dally around the center of his own moral compass, hinting to Chian that he'd like an update on that status question, stat.

Fou4mod centers himself around his desire for clarity, even though he's really messing around the edges of it, eliciting the concern of Baabin. But Fou4mod still has that conviction. It hasn't burnt out yet. He has hope, and that hope is defining and disappointing him, as we see in the last scene of the episode, as he stands in-between Bua, Moo, and Chian. And unlike Chian -- Fou4mod has family, lots of it, around him, and a friend that's patiently by his side, there to comment on Fou4mod's navigation of this very titchy and ick situation.

Fou4mod has optimism and is guided by his center. Bua seems like a big ol' playa (but we'll find out more if/when we get an episode about him). While Chian, in many ways, does indeed deserve to be put into a blender, I want to make one little note of hope I have for him, something that makes me cringe at him just a tiny little bit less:

While Bua used his Close Friends list to show off his flirting towards Moo to Chian, Chian removed Fou4mod from his list before he uploaded his own flirtatious moment with Bua.

The whole IG flirting circle thing is just messy and uncool anyway. But at least Chian thought to put up a boundary that Bua himself hadn't thought of. Maybe Chian will show us a glimpse of an internal compass that we're unaware of as this series goes on.

[lurkingshan]

Theory of Love Episode 1: Dear Dakanda

And we're off! We begin this week with a 2005 romcom classic from Thailand: Dear Dakanda (the Thai title is more like "Close Friend"). The plot, in brief:

Mhoo buzzes off his luscious mane of hair and heads south to hit the beach. An accident on a boat lands him in the hospital with a broken leg and flirting with a local nurse, Nui, and as he gets to know her we flash back to his uni days in Chiang Mai to see what he's running from: Dakanda, the girl he met during Freshy games, fell in love with, and stayed close friends with while pining after her hopelessly throughout college. In the end, he ends up confessing only via letters after he already gave up and ran away, and the film ends on an ambiguous note.

For those who have seen TOL, I think the parallels here are fairly obvious, and the posters above confirm: Mhoo's story is Third's story. Like Mhoo, Third never says a word about his feelings, choosing to keep it to himself and cry and rage alone. And similar to Khai in these early episodes, Dakanda seems totally oblivious to her friend's feelings as she enjoys spending time with him.*

*There's another parallel to a Thai BL here: Nui is clearly an inspiration for Tharn in I Told Sunset About You! I won't get into that as it's off topic for this discussion. But it's fun to watch old Thai media and newly understand how shows we love were referencing it.

This movie is so much about how Mhoo hurt himself with his slience for years, and ultimately gave up without giving Dakanda a chance to even respond to his confession. Unfortunately, Third doesn't seem to have learned anything from watching it. We hear in his review of the film that he romanticizes--and ends up emulating--Mhoo's behavior rather than recognizing that Mhoo set himself up to fail and things might have gone differently if he was willing to be more honest with his friend. As @bengiyo pointed out, the fact that Third gets caught up in these heterosexual romance films and takes all the wrong lessons from them is part of the conflict at the heart of this story. I love how the show signals that by pointing us to this film right at the start. And with its story over the next 12 weeks, TOL will be in dialogue with this film, ultimately rejecting the notion that Mhoo's refusal to communicate and ambiguous ending was romantic.

As for this first episode, I love how it drops us right in the middle of Third's dramatic pining spiral as it sets up the world of the show. One of the things the show is super clear on is that Khai's player behavior, while kind of dickish, is fairly normal and accepted--Two and Bone act exactly the same way--and Third is only pressed about it because of his feelings. But as the film framing this episode signals, Third never says anything, just gets increasingly resentful as Khai keeps unwittingly reminding him that they are not on the same page.

And of course, he makes it worse for himself by agreeing to help Khai deal with his exes, a truly self-destructive choice that only fuels his jealousy. And every time Khai behaves selfishly or thoughtlessly or does anything to remind Third that their feelings are not mutual, his anger only grows, but Third can't help but press on it like a bruise. I groaned when Third went to catch Khai at the theater with the date he ditched him for; stop torturing yourself, my guy! For his part, Khai has some maturing to do, as he is far too willing to be an ass to his friends in the name of hooking up, and he also just doesn't get that he is constantly hurting Third's feelings by treating him so casually. But for the first half of the show, we are firmly in Third's story and perspective, and I'm excited to see him get to the end of his rope.

Tagging in my other watch partners in case they have anything to add: @neuroticbookworm @solitaryandwandering and @twig-tea.

[bengiyo]

Theory of Love Romcom Rewatch Episode 11: He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

Once again I am watching Theory of Love because @lurkingshan gets specific pleasure out of making me change my mind about this show. This week we’re continuing with He’s Just Not That Into You (2009), an American romantic drama. As usual, I had not actually seen this one before, and I absolutely despised it. @lurkingshan wrote about how the lack of trust in relationships leads to huge messes.

He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

He’s Just Not That Into You (2009) tells the story of related women all grappling with men’s disinterest in commitment with them. I find it so difficult to earnestly describe what happened in this film, because it was essentially a film about how men are annoyed with women wanting anything from them, or being mad when the women they currently want don’t like them, while women spend their entire time wondering why these guys won’t call them back or propose. This was a deeply grotesque film for me, and I can’t believe they made me dislike Justin Long this much. 

Honestly, I’m so mad about this film being gross that I’d much rather urge men who think they should watch this film to watch Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Don Jon (2013). Both films have Scarlett Johansson, except the latter doesn’t suck. I can’t believe we have another film competing with Piss Boy in The Last Moment (2008). I truly have nothing redeeming to say about this film. 

Theory of Love Episode 11

In this episode, Two encourages Third’s jealousy and mistrust of Khai for reasons that only serve the plot, and Third sees the moment where Ching Ching makes her move on Khai. Third, hurt and upset, decides to make out with a stranger at the bar. When Khai tries to explain himself to Third later, things turn ugly and end with Khai’s foot sliced open from glass in the aftermath of a physical altercation.

This is now my third time watching Theory of Love, and at this point I’ve actually become sympathetic to Khai. Despite my natural tendencies to sympathize with unrequited piners, Third is actually rather mean. His fight with Khai was ugly, and he threw glass at that man. Moreover, none of Khai’s friends slowed down to hear what he had to say for himself after encouraging this new relationship with Third. They all fucked off and abandoned the entire trip they had planned with no attempt to understand what happened. 

The train station sequence hits a lot better for me this time around because there really was no other option for Khai except to hope that his friends would care even a little bit about him and come to him. It’s genuinely sad to see Khai set aside his ego and accept that this is how he will be remembered by his closest guys. While I’m glad Third recognized how badly they had hurt Khai, I am quite over Third’s desire to wallow and be resentful all the time. 

[twig-tea]

TOL RomCom Rewatch catch-up: Eps 1-6

As folks may have noticed, I’ve been pretty absent from tumblr the last few weeks. I started the TOL Romcom Rewatch and then was unable to bring myself to write except that one infodump re Dear Dakanda for ep1. But this week was ep6, the point at which we flip (foreshadowing to the next film) to Khai’s perspective, and I wanted to write now, because I’m excited to see whether the way the parallels in the show and the films we watch will feel the same through the perspective flip, or whether this will end up being specific to Third’s POV and Khai's section will feel different. 

My thesis for the first half of this series is: Third is terrible at watching films. I know, it’s not a hot take so much as stating the obvious. Pretty sure at this point all of the other romcom rewatch buds have said the same thing over the last several weeks, and I’ll link out to them when I get into the relevant sections. But the more nuanced point I want to make is that: while Third takes a very literal and surface interpretation to these films, often identifying in ways that perpetuate his poor communication habits and validate his dramatics, these films actually have messages in them that he needs to hear, and if he could watch these films with a more mature lens, he would actually find the lessons he needed in them. In other words, I blame Third on Third, not on the films he was watching. That being said, this post is already late enough, so this is going to be less structured than I usually like.

Week 1: Dear Dakanda

Week 1’s film was Dear Dakanda, which I did already write about a bit as a reblog to @lurkingshan's week 1 post. I like @solitaryandwandering framing Third and Mhoo as an unreliable narrator in their post.  Like Shan wrote initially, Third definitely romanticized Mhoo/Khaoyai and did not realize that if he had said anything, maybe things could have been different. He certainly didn’t realize how Mhoo treated Dakanda like an ideal rather than a person. Like @neuroticbookworm said in her post, Third is treated badly by Khai because Third lets Khai treat him that way. He does things for Khai that Khai had already accepted a ‘no’ from him for. @bengiyo noted that Mhoo’s hesitance to confess is less understandable to him than Third’s, due to the additional lens of queerness that the show implies without ever committing to.

And what I keep thinking about is Nui modeled a different route. She didn’t pine for ages, she confessed pretty quickly to Mhoo, and it worked–he gave up on Dakanda without even giving her agency in the decision (as Megan also pointed out in their post). Nui is not a perfect protagonist or model either, but Third would have been better served modelling his behaviour after Nui than Mhoo (something I note @impala124 speculated about in their post too).  

Week 2: Love Actually

In Week 2, Megan wrote an excellent and frankly cathartic post about why Love Actually sucks, actually. And Shan wrote a great post talking about how Third modelled his confession after a confession in the film that was doomed by design . Impala noted that even in his fantasies, Third didn’t really think Khai would respond to him. I also liked bookworm's point in her post that at least in the film the confession came with context, but in the show Third’s confession came out of nowhere, so it’s understandable Khai reached for a rationalization instead, because he doesn’t seem to be seeing or considering Khai at all in these plans. Piggybacking on this, I could not help but think after watching this truly terrible film that Third would have been much better served modelling his behaviour and taking lessons from the ‘no homo’ confession between the self-absorbed rock star Billy Mack and his manager, Joe.

Like Shan said, I can understand on the surface why Third identified with the Mark character. This character has loved from afar in what he feels is hopeless pining, but he can't help but hope. In the film, the character's situation is much more absurd (they have never had a conversation!!! Juliet is MARRIED TO HIS BEST FRIEND PETER!!! I cannot with this movie), and so he decides to confess on Christmas as a way of finally being able to move on. 

Mark’s confession, which Third emulates, is him one-sidedly pouring out his feelings before moving on with his life. Juliet rewards him with a kiss (WHY), and then we see the three of them (Mark, Juliet, and Peter)  together in the future relaxed and presumably with Mark being a better friend to both of them than he has been to date. 

Mark's confession reminded me strongly of Mhoo's confession in Dear Dakanda: A one-sided dump of information with no interest in the recipient's feelings. Both of these character moments, as neuroticbookworm said in their post, did not have the person they were in love with in mind. 

In contrast, let's take a look at the other confession in this story. Why did I choose the one that was canonically non-romantic (and explicitly "no homo", at that) as the one Third should have emulated? Well, this confession was about two friends, one of whom finally admitted that, instead of the party lifestyle he thought he wanted, he actually just wanted the company of the man who had supported him and stayed by his side all this time. Billy said aloud, to Joe, that they were the two most important people in each other's lives, and that even though he had underappreciated his friend, this man was the person he cared about most. 

You may have noticed that this confession is from a character who is (relatively) Khai-coded. Rather than thinking about his own perspective and who he always most relates to, if Third had been thinking about Khai's perspective, and caring about Khai's feelings, he might have confessed in a way that Khai can relate to and that speaks to him. Instead, so far he's still so wrapped up in his own perspective that he keeps trying to approach with Third-character-coded approaches. 

Most importantly, the confession is clear and allows for the recipient to respond. And it also leaves room for them to be important to each other in a platonic way, if that were the only thing that would work for both parties.

A little bit of an aside, but I loved Ben and @happypotato48 thinking through a list of what queer films in Thai Third would have had access to. I had fun thinking about whether any of those had better confession scenes that he could have emulated but I ended up coming to the same conclusion as Ben, I can see why he turned to romcoms. 

Week 3: Friends with Benefits

The allegory here was not very difficult: Jamie is the romantic who loves romcoms but falls for assholes and is tired of being lied to, and Dylan is the player who has no interest in romance but by becoming his friend and then sleeping with him Jamie apparently managed to break through his walls to allow himself to actually fall in love with someone. The worst part about this film is that Jamie gets mad at Dylan for pulling away emotionally after sleeping with her, accusing him of being like her other asshole guys who only date her to get her to fuck them. But, as Dylan points out, he took her home to meet his family after they fucked, and they are only friends with benefits; she’s getting mad at being denied emotional intimacy she never actually asked for or that he ever agreed to. [The part that frustrates me most about this film is it all could have worked if Jamie got mad at Dylan for pushing for emotional intimacy without being willing to name what he was doing, instead, but alas alack.]  And then Dylan decides he does love Jamie and makes a big gesture, and everything is fine. Jamie doesn’t have to own up to any of what she did (i.e., assuming the dynamic of their agreed relationship had changed and then getting mad at him for violating rules she’d set in her head about it). I really appreciated Megan calling out that actually there was some great sex-positive stuff in there buried under all the bullshit. 

Shan pointed out, and I agree, that Third’s fantasy from this film would definitely be that Khai realizes his feelings and confesses to him, and also that this is not the Khai we have seen to date.  I would have loved for Third to take away from this film that you don’t get anywhere without actually talking about it, but unfortunately as Bookworm pointed out, this film fully enables his delusion that you can romcom moment your way into a relationship without ever having to speak. Impala noted that the difference between Third and Jamie is that Jamie had the sex without the closeness and Third has the closeness without the sex. It is interesting that Third chooses domesticity as his in rather than casual sex—while I do think that some of that choice is related to the different hetero/homo dynamics of these properties (by which I mean, Third doesn’t think sleeping with Khai is on the table anyway), I also think this has to do with what Ben pointed out in his piece around how Third, as his bro, is Different to Khai. Like Pluem said, he has a serious case of ‘main character syndrome’ . Honestly, if Third were watching this film with any kind of critical lens, he would have seen that the ending should never have worked, and that relationship intimacy does not happen on its own without a conversation. Instead, he takes the dramatics to heart.

Week 4: Crazy Stupid Love

Slight aside, Week 4’s Crazy Stupid Love made me furious and I had to unpack why, because after conversing with my fellow watchers I was able to admit that the plot that didn’t work for me did on paper work, and  other than the side plot which was a little gross, the film wasn’t that bad. Turns out I was projecting past experiences on Jacob when the character was written in a way that his emotional turn was believable (I didn’t believe it when I watched it). Apologies to this film. I still maintain parts of it suck, though–being in love isn’t an excuse to violate boundaries. This is a terrible lesson that Third seems to have taken from this film instead (re: his peeking into Khai’s room in the previous episode). Also, if you love somebody, please don’t set them up to be caught having committed a felony without their knowledge (the naked photos from the film). 

Loved Shan pointing out how the reveals in the episode are handed similarly to the film, and Bookworm noted that the theme of betrayal are also consistent across the film and the episode (though she rightly notes the likelihood of reconciliation is very different) (loved pluem’s rant about how out of pocket Khai was this episode). This is the lesson that I had wish Third had learned watching this, that moving on past a betrayal requires vulnerability and openness on both sides. Neither Third nor Khai are willing to be that with each other at this point in the story; instead Third is very focused on the romance of one-sided love and pining (and, like Megan said, I bet he cheered when Robbie continued pursuing his crush on Jessica despite her asking him multiple times to stop). But while boundary violations make for popular film, they don’t make for good relationships.  

Week 5: 10 Things I Hate About You

Like Shan said in their post Third’s interpretation of what Kat was doing in her poem is frankly embarrassing. Third’s argument in this episode reminded me a lot of the Jamie/Dylan fight in Friends with Benefits, in which Third was mad about things that Khai rightly points out he has no reason to be mad at, based on the parameters of their friendship. Ben mentions in his post that third is lashing out but refusing to name what is actually the problem (Bookworm notes that Third passive-aggressively hints that he hasn’t wanted to be Khai’s friend for awhile; frustrating). I wonder how much of Khai getting mad back is related to how he knows he’s been messing with Third’s feelings and is stressed about it–like how Patrick lashes out at Kat because she’s rightly guessed he has other motivations for going to prom–similar to Third being unwilling to name the actual problem, Khai is too, though he gets closer with his ‘you’re not my wife’ comment (Pluem speculates in his post that Khai is aware and acting out on purpose and I think so too). Megan points out that both Kat and Third have to learn the difference between maintaining healthy boundaries and not letting anyone in. The fantasy in this film and in Third’s mind, is that someone will come along and break through, avoiding having to ever learn. In this film, as wrong as they were, I would have much rather that Third have learned from Bianca and Cameron; Cameron finds out he was being manipulated and he asks outright: 'Did you ever even like me? Was any of it real?' And he states his own feelings too. They owed Kat a huge apology too, but for a couple to learn from I would have rather Third sat up and taken note that an honest conversation naming the hurt and discussing real feelings is more productive than passive aggressive displaced anger. 

Week 6: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I like Shan's theory that this film is our bridge from Third to Khai, and this is why I decided to write this post now, because I want to go into the Khai section of this show with fresh eyes to see whether the ways that the episodes end up paralleling the films changes with the change in POV. I think Shan is exactly right with her drawing the parallel between Joel only realizing that he didn’t want to lose Clementine after the erasing was already underway to Khai on the beach weeks into Third cutting him out of his life and Khai realizing this is not at all what he wants.

Bookworm said it perfectly that this film is so carefully constructed to make us and Joel realize that good relationships are built through intimacy and vulnerability; the question now is if Khai and Third are ready to do what they have not done to date, and be open with each other. And their point about how we lose access to Third’s thoughts right when we most need them was bang on. 

Megan characterized the procedure in Eternal Sunshine as a violence against the self, relationship, and community, and I was thinking about Khai’s plan to break Third's heart and how it had the same effect. As they said, miscommunication is the core of their problem and when two people act independently in a relationship, miscommunication is inevitable. I think their post hit the nail on the head of what I wanted Third to take from this film: If you want a relationship you need to accept the whole person. Instead, Third thinks to himself how nice it would be if he could erase specific memories. I was thinking about how there is a similarity to me in how Third could only confess to the recorded post only visible to him, and how Joel could only open up to the Clementine in his head who is just an extension of his psyche. At the same time, I wonder if Third choosing to finally be the one to leave and cut ties like Clem in this episode is him finally making a Khai-coded character choice. And in reading Ben’s summary of the film, it struck me how much these characters are choosing to be physically vulnerable to relative strangers over being emotionally vulnerable with people they love and with themselves. The choices of these characters in both properties are more painful the more I unpack them.

Finally, doing a final edit of this post, it struck me how the actions of Mhoo in Dear Dakanda really seem like the kind of immature person who would delete the memories of Dakanda if he could. He did the next best thing, purging everything that reminded him of her and saying that he'll never be in touch again.

Welp this was a mess but at least I've got this out there now. I'll try not to leave the back half to one post. One general thing I'll say is that so far I'm getting so much out of this project and I'm so glad that Ben suggested it and Shan leapt on it. For those who enjoy thinking more deeply about shows, I highly recommend watching evn a couple of these films and thinking about Theory of Love and how these films tell us so much about Third's perspective (and, I hope in the back half, Khai's).

[neuroticbookworm]

Theory of Love Romcom Rewatch Episode 5 and 6

If we peep at the list of movies on this project, a gradual increase in narrative quality is very noticeable. Which is why I was so excited when we finally arrived at last week’s pick, 10 Things I Hate About You. My brilliant rewatch project buddies have thoroughly meta’d the movie and the corresponding episode, while my tired ass procrastinated a lil too close to the sun and missed posting last week. So I figured I’ll combine my thoughts on the movies and episodes of week 5 and 6 into one post filled with few observations and lots of incoherent screaming. Let’s go!

10 Things I Hate About You

ICYMI, 10 Things I Hate About You is a modern day adaptation of the Shakespeare play, The Taming of the Shrew. And coincidentally, Taming is the only Shakespeare play I have read so far, thanks to my 10th grade English curriculum. My memory of the opinions I had on this play as a teenager are not pleasant, so I was a little skeptical going into this movie (I have watched the movie before, but it was so long ago that I barely remembered a thing about it). This movie was surprisingly a treat to watch, for multiple reasons. Heath Ledger was charming as always, the writing was smart, witty, and snappy (hey this Shakespeare guy is pretty good I should check out his works sometime), and the supporting cast was so stacked and so delightful to watch on screen.

As a young and budding shrew, I remember my teenage self being pretty miffed at the idea of a dude “taming” one of my brethren. But as I watched the movie, I quickly realized that the story is aware that it really doesn’t take much for a girl to be termed a shrew; all you need to do is not comply with the stupid social mores of the time and the job is done. The story also doesn’t just let Kat be a prickly and annoyed teen who is Not Like Other Girls. As @bengiyo mentioned in his post, I loved that Kat was called out by Mr. Morgan for her derision and performative white feminism. I also liked how Kat was a pretty easy project (ugh) for Patrick, even though she thinks she is anything but. Her mental walls built entirely with hardcover copies of The Bell Jar (lol) were not high enough to hide her hopeful naivete on the matters of the heart. I loved the idea of social misfits finding romance with each other.

This film was not without its flaws: I agree with @lurkingshan that the narrative forgave Patrick so quickly for getting paid to date Kat, then deliberately hiding the truth from her, and gaslighting her when she questioned his motivations. Knowing how the rest of Theory of Love plays out, it’s easy to see how the show’s approach to Khai’s retribution differs from the way the movie treated its stupid and flawed boys.

Speaking of the show, I think I struggled to write about this episode last week because I was frustrated by all the conflict avoidance that was going on in the episode. Third felt hurt, betrayed, and angry after overhearing Khai and Bone talking about their stupid scheme, and he lashed out at Khai (which is great) without ever telling him exactly why he is so mad at him (not so great). Instead of direct confrontation, Third chose the passive aggressive route. He told Khai that he hadn't wanted to call Khai a friend for a while (which is so loaded with hidden meaning that Khai has no way of parsing), and he moved out without an explanation. When Khai brings a girl to their group project meeting, both Third and Khai escalate the passive aggressive comments to a point that almost culminates in an explosive fight between friends, before Third stepped in to stop them. And he walks away once again without resolving a thing.

And Khai was no better! He was fuming when Third finally returned home late at night, and he let his anger and frustration override his brain, and did not connect the dots on what could’ve possibly made Third say “You played with my emotions.” *insert eyeroll* He never gave a good think on what could’ve possibly made Third so mad and prickly towards him, and he never allowed himself to read Third’s emotions beyond his hurtful words. One of the things that is really standing out to me in rewatch is how Third and Khai are so different in their approach to conflict resolution. Third enjoys being in pain, so he never works towards addressing the problem in a constructive way. He brushes things under the rug without a resolution, so that he can glare and scoff and be perpetually mad. Khai, on the other hand, seems to prefer direct confrontation. He wants people to spell their ire out for him, which is not bad in itself, but it looks like he also uses it as an excuse to never pay attention to non-verbal communication. These two approaches are totally incompatible with each other, and it is clear that if Third and Khai want to end up together, they have to learn how to constructively work through and resolve a conflict between them.

The episode ends with Khai reaching out and making amends with Third out of nowhere, and I was so glad that @solitaryandwandering picked up on Chekhov's laptop that had mysteriously changed Khai’s behavior. Next up on the romcom list was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and I’ve been looking forward to this week’s movie and the episode right from the beginning of this rewatch project. And yes, it was everything I'd ever wanted and more.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I watched this movie in my late teens as a young and curious cinephile in undergrad whose favorite weekend activity was hunting down and watching 16 straight hours of media from around the world. I remember being so moved by the story and the fight to preserve the memories of a loved one, and I was looking forward to revisiting it. I really did not anticipate the effect it would have on me this time around, as I spent most of the runtime screaming at my screen, feeling so many emotions all at once.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is the story of Joel, an unassuming everyman who comes across as passive, internal and someone who would rather prefer to be left out of even the tiniest whiff of conflict. He meets Clementine, a quirky girl with loud hair who has no problem chatting up a stranger on the train and picking a fight with him when he says something she disagrees with. The movie then throws us into a confusing montage, suggesting the passage of time, and picks back up with Joel reaching out to Clem, his girlfriend, after a vicious fight. Which leads to him learning that she had undergone a procedure to wipe her memories of them, so she can move on from him. Joel, feeling crushed, betrayed, and cast aside, makes an impulsive decision that is very out of character for him and decides to undergo the same procedure to wipe Clementine from his memory. We are introduced to Dr. Howard, the lead doctor and the brains behind the technology, Stan and Patrick, the technicians working under him, and Mary, the receptionist at the practice. What follows is Joel’s emotional journey as the procedure takes him through the memories he shared with Clementine one by one, the good, the bad, and the ugly, before permanently erasing it from his brain.

This movie has two distinct yet intertwined narrative threads:

The dissection, research, and understanding of Joel and Clem’s relationship

The movie’s cognizant lens on the ethics and morality of the memory-wipe technology, and its commentary on the people willingly working in the industry

The first thread is the core of the story, and the one that hurts the most with its commentary on romantic relationships, and the beauty in the imperfectness of it all. Watching Joel realize halfway through the procedure that he does not want to forget Clementine, and his futile fight to save at least some of his memories of her was heartbreaking. The procedure erasing Joel’s memories of Clem starting from the most recent ones means that we (and Joel) go from watching them fighting, cursing, screaming, and making each other miserable, to the soft moments of quiet intimacy, and to those few precious moments where simply existing in the world with the person he loves makes Joel feel larger than life, and the happiest he’d ever been. The story is so skilfully constructed and edited to slowly immerse Joel and the audience into the realization that relationships are rarely perfect, and communicating and working through problems is always a better path for long-term happiness than going nuclear and wiping every trace of the other person from memory.

I remembered little to nothing about the side characters from my first watch of this movie, and I was absolutely floored by the vile and unethical behavior of every single person involved in this practice. Patrick steals Clem and Joel’s medical files from the clinic and used them to pursue Clem exactly as Joel did, sending her spiralling into a mental breakdown that she couldn’t fully understand, as the memories that’s causing her pain are gone, leaving only a discombobulated echo that is now made stronger by Patrick’s actions. We also see this confusion paralleled in Mary, who is openly infatuated with Howard, despite her relationship with Stan. Each reveal in this thread hit me like a ton of bricks, and every time I thought I was through the worst of it, the story hit me with another, more horrifying one.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a film that will both devastate and heal you with its romance, while simultaneously scrambling your brain with its brilliant writing and commentary. I recommend it to everyone, and especially to narrative gremlins and angst monsters like me.

And finally, episode 6 of Theory of Love, my beloved! My experience of watching episode 6 was pretty similar to @lurkingshan’s, I remember jumping up from the chair and screaming when I watched Khai narrate his marvellous plan that destroyed his friendship with Third. The POV switch is a great narrative tool in any well-constructed story, but it hits especially hard in Theory of Love, because both the audience and Khai lose our access to Third and his thoughts at the same time, just when we need it the most.

Lemme do a quick rundown of episode 6:

After making amends for his part in their fight in episode 5, Khai takes Third shopping and buys him a gift that is personalized and meaningful.

Then they go to a party where Khai gets drunk, holds Third down against a wall, and forcefully makes out with him, while calling him a girl’s name, which further devastates Third.

The next day, Khai chases down an already dejected Third, and thanks him for talking sense into him, and tells him that he’s gonna pursue his current girlfriend seriously with the intent of long-term commitment.

Third, finally reaching his limits, decides to move on from Khai, and starts involving himself in university projects that will keep him occupied and away from Khai.

Khai notices Third pulling away from him and their friend group, and gets increasingly sad about it. Finally he goes away to visit his brother.

Sitting on the beach with him, he reveals that he found out about Third’s feelings when he stumbled upon the private video Third made confessing his feelings for Khai and struggling with the idea of moving on. So Khai hatched a plan to make Third thoroughly hate him, to help him move on from Khai. And finally, after orchestrating the clusterfuck to end all clusterfucks, he reveals that he might like Third back.

Just putting all of his actions in writing is making me wanna scream into a pillow. The sheer stupidity of it all makes my mind boggle every single time. Third has been making dumb choices consistently for five episodes, but my boy Khai outdid it all in just one episode. This week was the one where I felt the strongest thematic parallels between the episode and the corresponding romcom, which is funny because the parallels also cannot be fully attributed to either Khai or Third. It almost felt like a bridge between the two POVs, with Joel’s passiveness clearly mirroring Third, while Joel’s struggle of coming to terms with an impulsive decision that fundamentally changed his relationship with a person that he realizes a little too late as too important for him to lose, perfectly mirrors Khai’s position at the end of episode 6.

The narrative structure of the episode is also clearly influenced by the structure of the secondary narrative of the film, every information revealed by Khai hit me hard and fast, and the next, more brutal one was already in the chamber, ready to be fired. There’s always another rock bottom under Khai's current rock bottom. It’s not hard to see how Joel and Clem’s incompatibility parallels Khai and Third’s. And it is also notable that Joel and Clem’s second chance came after they had listened to the other say the most hurtful things about them. That was their rock bottom, and the movie’s ending made us feel hopeful that they now have the emotional tools to find their way out of it. We shall see how the show parallels it and approaches the mending of Khai and Third’s relationship in the coming weeks.

In one of their quiet moments in the movie, Clementine whispers into Joel’s cheek, “Share with me, Joel. That’s what intimacy is.” I know Joel heard her, albeit a little late. And I hope that it is one of the lessons Third internalizes eventually, in his journey of mending and rebuilding his and Khai’s relationship.

[happypotato48]

Theory of Love Romcom Watch Along Episode 4 : Crazy Stupid Love (Lazy Unhinged Edition)

I've been up for almost 24 hours playing Monster Hunter so, plz clap for me that i somehow use my remaining 10% of my brain cells writing this. so let talk about this white people movie first. surprisingly i enjoyed this movie way more than i thought i would Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone and Julianne Moore are phenomenal in this. The way this movie live up to it name of Crazy Stupid and Love with it earnestness and uncompromising commitment to says that yeah Loves are fucking dumb but they're worth fighting for.

Now let talk about the Fuckbois. i think i didn't mention this last week but this is my first time watching TOL after ep 2 so i have zero clue aside from some gifs and that this is a GMMTV BL that deft gonna have a happy ending. SOOOOOO Khai did something so awful that made me genuinely see red. he "queerbaited" Third because he feels like it something he could and should does. in his head there only one version of Third and bacause a friend made him slightly doubt that. he think he could subject Third to this cruelty in the name of proofting something. these flirts and baits are just a game to him because he can't fathom and unwilling to ever consider for one second that Third feelling might be true. this kind of queer teasing is something i personally delt with in my childhood, something that made me feel like my inside are turning outward. this feelling of getting something you wanted so badly but also doesn't want other people to see because you're trying to protect your self from homophobia, it's suck. Love is stil a thing i think is worth fighting for and Oh BOY KHAI YOU LITTLE BITCH you better fight like your life depend on it to earn my approval, you stupid fictional fuckboi.

Hope this post make sense cuz idk if it does55555555.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

I feel compelled to say something even if it sounds ridiculous. I was thinking about the TOL Rewatch today, and the fact that it's Love Actually day. And opinions on the film aside I think it needs to be said, that although portuguese people are not a monolith, the portuguese representation in that film makes us all cringe, in how bad it is. Even if they are representing the immigrant population in Marseille, my point stands. It's not only wildly inaccurate, but also kind of offensive.

That's all.