#too much of keyboard combinations even for a stanley like me

[glimpsesofeuterpe]

Are you going to be using your new tablets for commissions too? 👀 Or is it still a learning curve to get used to them?

yesss

[thesinglesjukebox]

PEGGY GOU - STARRY NIGHT

[7.75]

Some sumptuous house to lead you into the weekend...

Alfred Soto: What a sumptuous mix! The Korean producer weaves an elementary bass line around house chords, 1984-era hand claps, and catchphrases from her native tongue. It sounds like July barbeques, and it's only April. [9]

Kat Stevens: Peggy has been consistently churning out this sort of quality elastic-band house, full of spring and space and snap. "Starry Night" is basically breakfast techno, something that will get you up and out of the house in time to pick up the parcel from the sorting office before work. [7]

Leah Isobel: Peggy Gou walks a specific, sublime line between lush textures and plastic camp. She builds "Starry Night" on a smorgasbord of digital sounds that sit just left of the real; the spiky handclaps, the city-pop synth pads, the chintzy keyboard, the vworp-y bass that defies the rules of physical noise. The beats drive the song forward with a relentless velocity, while she barks with military precision: "Moment. Now. Us." Her music asks if it's possible to engineer feeling from sheer determination; my body moves for me, answering yes. [8]

Nortey Dowuona: Slinking, poppy bass sidewinds alongside bubbly, strolling drums as chipper piano chords are followed by ghostly wailing synths and bottled, flat-smacked percussion. Gou breathily sings, then issues soft but firm chants over boiling synths that are finally laid like a blanket over the whole production. [10]

Katherine St Asaph: Immaculately tasteful house in the Todd Terje vein, the sort I'd be immensely pleased to hear out in the wild, but a little safe and stakes-less to seek out specifically. [7]

Will Adams: I wasn't sold on this genteel house workout until the trance chords started pumping through the right side of the mix, and I was even more intrigued when the thumb piano followed it. "Starry Night" builds patiently, perhaps too much, but the payoff is worth it. [7]

Iris Xie: This week I've been dropping this in at various points during Jayda G's "Stanley's Get Down (No Parking on the DF)," and the transition is so smooth and clear like freshly washed glass. The house music instrumentals are lively and have funky vitality, and the subtle marimbas in the back bring in a lively feel of participation that is infectious and feels a little visceral. Combined with Peggy Gou's own proclamations, and I've been thinking about how interesting it is to see how house music, which is originated from queer Black people, and the way both of these songs have their own particular ways of bringing out the particular energies and focuses of these particular artists. In this case, Peggy Gou goes for a different type of effortless, driving cool that is more grounded in getting you up and dancing by using the instrumentals to get you back up and moving spontaneously, in contrast to Jayda G asking you to take up space in very refined and posed forms. Both valid, but still very interesting to witness and participate in. [7]

Will Rivitz: Say what you will about lo-fi house -- creatively bankrupt, a constant reminder of streaming's algorithmic churn, what have you -- but its explosion has led to a seepage into myriad other sub-genres and scenes, and its omnipresence has meant that of the many strands of its diffuse hybridization that have been thrown onto walls of speakers, a few of them have stuck. In particular, its tongue-in-cheek ethos matches nicely with the less darkly and stoically serious mélanges of house, particularly the Terjeified funk of "Starry Night." Gou's track is a masterclass in doing less with less, six or seven disparate loops interweaving with little variation into a tightly-knit scarf of warm disco. As anything more than a lovely accompaniment to a night out or an afternoon of work, it's a little listless, but as an accompaniment, it is sublime -- and, honestly, most house that tries to be more ends up overwrought and undercooked. See you on the floor. [7]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[ddp456]

“It’s quite simple, really...”

So, Wendip fans - I have good news and bad news.

Bad news first - My Wendip surprise has hit a snag.  (yes, again this year, too!)

I’ll give you all an update ASAP.  In the meanwhile, I whipped up this little yarn to serve as an appetizer until then.  Same deal goes as the last fic - if someone cares enough to make a cover art for this, I’ll throw it up on Fanfction.net as well.

Enjoy!

“This isn’t going to hurt, is it?”

Wendy Corduroy squirmed in the rigid seat.  The oddly-shaped helmet strapped to her head matted her poofy auburn hair against her brow, leaving it covered with beads of sweat.   Her eyes raced around the secret laboratory beneath the Mystery Shack as dials clicked and spun, machinery hummed in different decibels, and vials of unknown liquids slowly boiled and bubbled beneath their heated test tubes.

Huge libraries of hardcover research books decorated the walls next to the exit.  A spiraling stairwell led to another floor of boring-looking tomes. A number of end-tables and shelves displayed a lifetime’s worth of knick-knacks and souvenirs from untold adventures.  An old, chipped worktable sat at the middle of the room, filled to the brim with clutter and unfiled paperwork.

“Absolutely not!” Stanford Pines double-checked the computer monitor across from her.  He tapped away at the keyboard, inputting new commands at lightning speed.  “In fact, it might just do the opposite.”

Wendy winced confusingly, “T-Tickle?”  Her hands tightly gripped the sides of her chair.

Ford shook his head, “No, not that either.”  His harden eyes moved upwards.  “But don’t worry – we won’t be going anywhere near your feet, I assure you.”

Wendy’s freckled face turned white.  “Huh?! How did you know I was thinking – “

The scientist chuckled. “To be honest, you told me.”  He pointed to the giant video screen mounted behind Wendy.  “Part of the procedure is that your thoughts will be shown on this display.  The smaller televisions above it can provide collaborating videos and audio as well.”

Wendy turned around to see a series of green, flowing texts flying across the largest screen:

“HOW DID HE KNOW THAT? ISN’T THIS LIKE AN INVASION OF PRIVACY? HEY, AT LEAST I DON’T HAVE TO WORK NOW!”

The sound of laughter made Wendy switch screens.  One of the smaller ones played a somewhat faint image of Dipper and her wrestling around on her bed.  Wendy had her arm wrapped around his head as she gave him the ultimate noogie.  On the other end, Dipper had an orange-and-yellow socked foot in a death grip as he mercilessly tortured its sensitive underside.

“Say it!  Say that you give up!”

“NEHEHEHEH! Never!  You – You first!”

Wendy smiled briefly at the memory before turning back around towards Ford.  He silently watched the scene, itching his beard stubble with curiosity.  “Hmm…”

She forced an uneasy laugh out of embarrassment.  Ford’s silence only added to Wendy’s nervousness.  Her fingertips tapped the armrests of the chair as the helmet seemed tightened around her head.

“This is so freaky!  Why I’d even agree to this in the first place?”  

It had only been less than a half-hour ago that the teen had been sitting at her post at the Mystery Shack’s Gift Shop.  Wendy sat back on her stool, her shoulder-blades resting against the cracked wall as her mud-covered boots rested on the countertop.  Her nose buried in the latest gossip magazine. The world was peaceful and quiet until…

“A-hem!”

“Whoa!”  Wendy was jolted out of her zen.  Her balance lost, her arms flailed in mid-air until she slipped from her seat and landed hard to the floor.

“OW!”  She rubbed her sore backside as a hand reached out to help.

“Thanks, Dip.”  Wendy accepted the help back to her feet.  “You really scared the living – “

Her words faded as she was pulled upwards to meet Ford’s stern, broaden face.  He adjusted his cracked glasses with his six-fingered hand as he cleared his throat once more.

“Sorry about that.” Ford apologized.  “I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind assisting me with an experiment.”

“Oh, okay…”  Wendy placed her fallen trapped cap back on her head.   This had been the first time the long-lost Great-Uncle of the Pines twins had addressed her.   “What’s up?”

“Not here…”  To Wendy’s surprise, Ford walked towards the vending machine across from her desk and dialed a combination of random numbers. A second later, the ground shook beneath her feet.  The machine itself slid away from the wall, revealing a hidden staircase leading deep into the earth.

“WHOA!”  Wendy’s green eyes grew wide.  She had heard Dipper mention something about secrets literally built into the Mystery Shack itself, but she never expected anything like this.

Ford walked down the steps as a series of lights hanging overhead instantly sprang to life.  “Now, if you’ll follow me, we’ll be at my lab – “ He paused, noticing there wasn’t a second set of footsteps behind him.  The elder spun around to see Wendy standing at the entryway with an unnerved expression.

“On second thought,” Wendy pointed towards the family entrance to the parlor.  “Stan – I mean, the other Stan, will probably need me to stay here at the counter…”

“Oh, please!”  Ford waved away in disgust.  “Stanley’s been asleep in his recliner for hours!  He didn’t care enough to put on pants today, yet alone properly manage a business!”

Wendy giggled and covered her mouth.

“I know things look odd and even scary. “  Ford held a hand against his heart.  “But it is dire that you come with me.  Your life, as well as that of your family and friends, may depend on it.”

Wendy’s guard dropped as the old man’s façade fell.  His frown twisted into an all-too-familiar tiny beam.  “Please…?”

“So, that’s where Dipper gets his smile from…”

Before she knew it, Wendy followed along the coat tails of the sage explorer down the staircase and onto an old-fashioned service elevator.  Ford threw a nearby switch, closing a gate shut behind Wendy, making her flinch slightly.  There was no going back now.

The elevator slowly descended down the shaft, its wheels noisily squeaking the entire way.   The landing violently shook beneath their boots.  An awkward silence filled the narrow passage.  

“So…”  Wendy broke the silence as Ford stared into the distance, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.  “I never would have guessed that something like this was hidden beneath the Shack.”

Ford nodded, “It’s actually ironic – your father was the one who designed and built this very cottage.”

“Get out!”

“I will – “  He paused and let out a nervous laugh, “I see.  You were using an euphemism.  My mistake.  But it’s true.  Dan Corduroy helped create what you now know as the Mystery Shack over 30 years ago.”

“Wow…”  Wendy absorbed her surroundings outside of the caged elevator. She looked on with a sense of pride, knowing that her family had lent a hand in creating such an extraordinary marvel. The redhead turned towards Ford. “Dad doesn’t about any of this junk, does he?”

He broke eye-contact. “Not...exactly.  Let me put it like this: your old man thought I was putting in one hell of a den.”

“HA!  Sounds about right!”

The elevator eased to a gentle stop.  They were now in front of a sturdy redwood door.  Golden marking wrapped around at the top and the bottom in half-circles as a jewel-encrusted keyhole lied in the center.

Ford reached into his coat pocket and retrieved a long, aged key.  He inserted it into the opening and rotated it tightly.  The door sprang open with a slow creak.  He opened an arm towards the new room shrouded in complete darkness.

“After you…”

Wendy’s body grew sore in thanks to the awkward chair given to her.  Proper posture wasn’t exactly her thing.  She couldn’t decide if it was the seat or the uncomfortable atmosphere that added to her anxiety.

“I know this guy is Dip’s uncle and all, but why do I feel like it’s one of my old B-movies, where he’s going to hit a button, and shackles are going to pop outta this thing and grab my wrists and ankles?”

“I wouldn’t be too worried.” Ford reassured the worried girl with a sly grin.  “I’m more of an “angry scientist” than I am a “mad” one, so I’m not exactly one to have deathtraps lying about the lab.”

“Huh?”  Once more, Wendy glanced over her shoulder, finding her fears displayed for the world to see.  She groaned aloud and pinched her nose in embarrassment.  “Oh, man…”

“Secondly,”  Ford walked to his desk and took hold of the roller chair placed there.  “Unlike my brother, I do recognize the fact that child endangerment and imprisonment is a serious crime in the state of Oregon.”

Wendy bit her lip to stop chortling.  Seeing her growing calm, Ford rolled the chair in front of her and took a seat. “And lastly, if anything, I asked you here for your own protection, Gwendolyn.”

“It’s “Wendy…” if you don’t mind, Mr. Pines.”

Ford glanced up at the large television for a split second.

“I HATE THAT NAME SO MUCH! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS, MY MOTHER? I WISH I HAD A COOL NICKNAME LIKE DIPPER DOES.”

“My mistake, “Wendy.” Ford rubbed his chin with curiosity. “And I’d prefer “Ford” as well.”

“It’s a deal, Ford.” Her smile faded as she rubbed her hands together.  “Um, going back to what you said earlier.  This machine is supposed to “protect me?” She gently tugged on the black cord stemming from the helmet that led back to the series of screens. “And from what exactly?”

“Let me explain.”  The man sat back on his padded chair, much to Wendy’s chagrin.  “The machine that you are attached to is my own creation: Project Mentem mk-2.”

“That’s a mouthful!”

“You’re telling me. As that machine scans your mind, it will also shield it from being controlled by outside forces.”

“Outside forces?”

Ford leaned forward, “Have you ever heard the name “Bill Cipher?””

Wendy hesitated.  “Uh, I…think so…”

Once more, Wendy’s thoughts betrayed her as they ran across the computer screen for all to see.

“THAT’S THAT TRIANGLE GUY, RIGHT?  I THINK IT’S THAT TRIANGLE GUY.  HE’S THE ONE THAT MADE DIPPER ACT ALL FREAKY A FEW WEEKS AGO.  I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WHEN HE THREW HIS ARM AROUND ME AND CALLED ME “TOOTS.”  AND HE WOULDN’T STOP STARING AT MY CHEST.  EW!”

Ford placed his hands on the armrests of Wendy’s chair, missing her fingertips by inches.  His tone grew utterly grim.  “Bill Cipher is an interdimensional being, made of pure negative energy.  He lives for complete and utter chaos!  And he will not stop until he unleashes such horrors onto this very world!”

Wendy gulped, as another thought was splashed across the screen:

“I SAW THAT DRAWING IN DIPPER’S BOOK.  THAT CREEP DIDN’T LOOK SO TOUGH TO ME.  HE LOOKS LIKE SOME DEMENTED FLYING CORN CHIP.  I BET I COULD TAKE HIM ANYTIME!”

Enraged, Ford rose to his feet, forcing his chair back.  “THIS ISN’T SOME KINDA JOKE, KID!”  He marched back and forth across his lab as Wendy was helpless to do anything but watch. “Do you even know what you’re dealing with?”  He continued on lecturing.  “This thing destroyed his own universe without an ounce of regret!  He hunted me endlessly across countless dimensions and realities for the last 30 years!  He’s responsible for the demise of several civilizations, and you think you stand a chance against him?!  He’d destroy you in a blink of his eye!”

“I’m – I’m sorry, okay?” Wendy shut her eyes and turned her head. “I-I didn’t mean – “

Ford lowered his guard as his sights came across the master computer.  His heart sunk into his knees as he quietly read the thoughts displayed:

“I HATE IT WHEN BOYS FIGHT. I HATE IT WHEN BOYS YELL AT ME. IT’S LIKE HOW STAN AND MY DAD ALWAYS YELL AT ME.  I REALLY WISH HE’D STOP YELLING AT ME…”

He looked ahead to the teenaged girl shivering in her seat.  Ford opened his six-fingered hands, wondering if he was any better than the monster he was trying to defeat.

“Wendy…”  The scientist reclaimed his seat, but made sure to keep his distance.  “I…I apologize for my outburst.  But you have to understand, please; any matter that involves Bill in even the slightest capacity has to be taken seriously.”  He ran a hand through his salt-and-pepper colored hair.   “In the last few decades, I have born witness to the outrageous atrocities that he has committed across time and space.  It is something that no one deserves to see.  It is something no one deserves to fall victim to.  For that, I implore you again:  will you continue to help me keep not just this world safe from Bill’s influence, but my family as well?”

“It’s – It’s okay, man.” Wendy agreed with a shake of her head. “I’m still game if you are.  So, what’s the plan?  How can I help?”

As both persons calmed, Ford sunk back into his seat comfortably.  “You already have.”  He highlighted another computer monitor.  “As the Mentem mk-2 scans your thoughts, it has been applying a shield to your brainwaves. See for yourself.”

Wendy spun to her right, finding a black screen with bright, dark-green text displaying a progress bar:

SCANNING THOUGHTS – 35%

“Within a few minutes,” Ford clarified.  “The process will have scanned the entirety of your mind, protecting it from any possible threat from Bill.”

“Oh…okay, then…”

The two sat and peeked around the room without saying another word.  The only sound to be heard was the occasional blip coming from the progress bar.

“Hey, Ford?  Can I ask you a stupid question?”

“There are no stupid questions, but yes, proceed anyways.”

“Alright.”  Wendy itched the back of her slender neck.  “Why me? Why do you think this Bill guy would try to possess my mind like he did to Dipper?”

Strangely enough, Ford’s face lit up with interest.  “It’s quite simple, really.  I believe you would be the perfect selection for Bill simply because of who you are.”

“Who I am?”  A dozen new thoughts raced through Wendy’s mind.

“WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY THAT? IS IT BECAUSE I GREW UP HERE IN GRAVITY FALLS?  OR BECAUSE I WORK AT THE MYSTERY SHACK?”

“My mistake.  I shouldn’t have been so coy.”  Ford stood back up and began to pace with his arms tucked behind his back.  Another “Pines family” trait that easily reminded Wendy of “her boy.”  The adventurer paused for a moment, “It…wouldn’t be too forward to say that you and my great-nephew have grown close this summer, would it?”

Wendy found herself stunned for a split second.

“CLOSE?  OF COURSE WE ARE.    HE’S MY BOY.  THIS SUMMER WOULD HAVE TOTALLY BITE WITHOUT THAT LITTLE GUY.  AFTER EVERYTHING THAT WE’VE BEEN THROUGH, HOW COULD WE NOT?”

“Eh.  You could say that…”

“I see…”  Ford nodded along with both forms of testimony.  “But the question is how close are you two?”

The lower-right screen displaying Wendy’s heart-rate instantly spiked.

“Only a fool wouldn’t be able to see that you share a sort of…”  Ford waved his hand around in a circle as he attempted to find the correct term.  “…a special bond.  In fact, when Dipper sat in that very spot, you were a constant topic in his thoughts.

“Time out!”  Wendy tried to switch the conversation around. “Dipper had this mind-mumbo-jumbo done to him, too?”

“Not exactly.”  Ford confessed.  “There was an…incident when we attempted to use the machine on him.  It was only recently during some spare time that I was able to repair Project Mentem.   Hence, the mk-2 at the end.

“SO I’M THE GUINEA PIG TO SEE IF THIS HUNK OF JUNK WORKS?  GREAT, JUST GREAT.  MAYBE IF MY BROTHERS DIDN’T MESS AROUND WITH THAT UNICORN HAIR DIPPER GAVE ME, I WOULDN’T HAVE TO SIT THROUGH THIS.  I REALLY HOPE THIS DOESN’T BACKFIRE AND LEAVE ME WITH MY MIND WIPED LIKE WHAT THOSE BLIND-EYE JERKS TRIED TO DO TO US.”

Wendy gasped.  She forced a cheesy grin and pointed at the big screen behind her.  “Say, do we really need to have that thing on the entire time?”  The lumberjane gently tugged at the wiring binding her to the circuity.  “There isn’t a sleep mode or something we can switch on?”

Ford waved away her concerns.  “It is more than all right, Wendy.  I already know about the adventures you and Dipper have gone on these last few months.”

“You…do?”  A sense of unease formed in the pit of Wendy’s stomach as her fears turned to anger.

“THAT LITTLE DORK!  HE RATTED US OUT!  ZIPPED LIPS, MY BUTT!  JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON HIM!  WHAT ELSE DID HE SAY?  WAIT. THE MACHINE.  WHAT IF THIS THING MADE HIM SQUEAL?”

Ford could see a new memory forming on the secondary monitor.  Wendy and Dipper were standing with Mabel on the top of the Mystery Shack’s roof as the sun shined high in the clear blue sky.  Meeting eye-to-eye, they each made a zipping motion over their lips simultaneously.

“Zipped lips, eh?” Ford noted.  “But nevertheless, I can assure you, Dipper didn’t betray your trust in any fashion.”

“He didn’t?”

“Of course not.”  The researcher went back to his desk and took an item with him before sitting down before Wendy.  “In fact, I learned about your journeys the same way he did about mine here in Gravity Falls: though documentation.

Wendy looked to see the all-too-familiar hardcover book marked with a golden six-fingered insignia lying in Ford’s lap.

“Hey!  That’s Dipper’s journal!”

“You mean my journal.”  Ford proudly patted the front cover.  “It makes this old man proud to see Dipper continuing in my researching the wonderful oddities inhabiting this town.”  He opened the Journal 3 and scanned somewhere towards the middle portion.  “You certainly had your hands full in the last few weeks, if I can say so.  It’s all right here:  ghosts in the convenience store, clones amongst party-goers here at the Shack, time-traveling shenanigans …”

“Uh…”  Wendy held up a finger to object.  “Kinda lost on those last two, Ford.”

“In that case,” Ford closed the journal.  “What about the fact that when I went to check on my abandoned bunker in the woods, every trap I had set had been disabled and I found the captive alien shapeshifter frozen in an effigy that looked exactly like Dipper?”

“Uh…”

“Plus,” he reached into his oversized slicker and pulled out a dainty-sized lumberjack’s belt and a sheath for a hatchet.  “I found these inside the bunker.  I believe they’re yours?”

An uncomfortable laugh sailed pass Wendy’s throat.  “You’re pretty mad about that, aren’t you?”

“Maybe at first, but after things came together, I was more amazed.  Especially by what was captured on film.”

“We were taped?!”

“Wendy,” Ford said.  “One does not hide thousands of dollars of equipment as well as one-of-a-kind alien technologies deep in the Oregonian woods without having some type of surveillance equipment at the ready.”

She shrugged.  “True that.”

“And don’t get me wrong; all of you kids worked wonderfully as a group to recapture the shapeshifter, but it was the brief period in which you two were separated from Mabel and Soos that stood out.  I could easily see marvelous examples of teamwork being displayed.  I think it can go without saying how well you complement each other.”

“Thanks, I guess…” Wendy went to scratch her head, finding it blocked by the massive helmet.  “Sorry if I seem rude, but what’s with all these questions about Dipper and me?”

“To be frank,” he explained. “I’m simply trying to fill in the blanks to a lot of uncertainties that I have.”

“Such as?”

“Perhaps, it would be best if I were more forward.”  Ford lowered his crossed leg and hunched forward.  “So, I’ll come out and ask:  what are your intentions towards my great-nephew?

Wendy’s brow rose, pinching the tip of her head enclosed by the helmet.  Her heart-rate monitor went into full-blown overtime.

“OH MAN! OH MAN! OH MAN! THIS IS LIKE HOW MY DAD GRILLS ANY BOY I BRING TO THE HOUSE.  THIS IS KARMA PAYING ME BACK, RIGHT?!  WHAT SHOULD I SAY? HOW – “

Unfortunately, the middle monitor provided the answer for her, as Wendy could hear her own voice playing through the speakers:

“But, I'm too old for you. I mean, you know that, right?”

Both watched the scene played out, as Wendy and Dipper sat on a log deep into the Gravity Falls Woods just outside of Ford’s hidden bunker, as she tried her best to calm his anxiety and over wrecked nerves.

Wendy lowered her head to see Ford still studying the screen with great interest.  His face reminded her of Dipper’s as she had left him wondering on that log as she rode away on her bike.  Wendy would give anything to be free of the embarrassing and awkward situation.

“Ford…”  The teenager struggled with her words.  “It’s not – I can explain…”

Her random thoughts spread across the main television at neck-break speeds.

“I WISH THINGS WEREN’T COMPLICATED.  IT’S NOT LIKE DIP’S A BAD GUY.  I HOPE HE UNDERSTANDS.  I HOPE I DIDN’T HURT HIM.  HE SEEMED FINE AT MOVIE NIGHT.  WHAT ELSE COULD I DO?  THERE’S NO WAY IT WOULD HAVE WORKED.  MAYBE WHEN HE GETS OLDER…”

At long last, Ford finally spoke, “Well, that explains a lot.  It’s not as serious as I thought.”

“Ford, you don’t understand – “

He looked straight at her and removed his glasses, wiping them off with his sleeve. “Let me tell you something,” Ford said without an ounce of emotion in his voice.  “The more the things change – the more they stay the same.  In Dipper’s case, it’s “you’re too young.”  For me, an entire lifetime ago, it was “Sorry, Ford.  But you have six fingers on each hand.  What would people think?”  He held up one of his unique hands for Wendy to see.  “So, believe me, Wendy, when I say I understand perfectly.”

Wendy remained completely silent as a single thought forced on the screen behind her:

“DOES DIPPER THINK THE SAME WAY, TOO?”

The strict professor put his damaged spectacles back on.  “But in all honesty, I am actually relieved by this revelation.”

Wendy shook her head in astonishment, “Wait?!  You are?!”

“Of course.”  Ford stood up, holding the Journal 3 in his right hand, and placed it back into a slot in his work desk.  “After all, you are only a child yourself.  I’d be shocked if things had played out any differently.”

The demeaning comment struck Wendy unexpectedly.   It had been a long time since anyone had referred to her in such a way.

“Oh…kay, then.  But I still don’t understand.  What does all this Dipper-talk have to do with me and that triangle guy?”

“That’s precisely the point.”  Ford walked back.  “It’s all related.  Other than myself, there isn't anyone else that Bill Cipher had more interactions than with Dipper.  Like me, Bill has invaded Dipper’s dreams on occasion, and went as far as to trick him into giving him control of his body.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning that maybe with the exception of Mabel, there is no one closer to that boy than you, Wendy.  Over the last few weeks, Dipper has become more involved in my experiments and my research.  It’s to the point he’s serving as a pseudo-apprentice of sorts.  He now has knowledge that would allow Bill to conquer this world with ease.”

“Jeez…”

“…is quite the understatement.  For this, I believe that if Bill couldn’t possess Dipper, he wouldn’t hesitate to use those closest to him as a bargaining chip.  For some reason, he doesn’t bother Mabel.  Maybe her dreams are so chaotic, they frightened even him. That leads me to believe that…”

“…he’d come for me instead.” Wendy finished.  “So, when you said earlier that this mind-thingie is for my protection, it’s really more for Dipper’s.  You think I’m some kind of…”

“…liability.  It might seem harsh, but after everything I’ve seen in the footage from the bunker, I couldn’t be more certain.  You both would stand in the face of danger for the other’s welfare.  I truly think that if your life was in jeopardy, Dipper would be willing to sacrifice the entire universe to save you.  And with all due respect, that scenario cannot be allowed to happen.”

Wendy didn’t know what to say.  How could she feel so important and yet, so very small at the same time? As she thought about it a bit more, the redhead came to a new realization.

“Dipper – he doesn’t know I’m here, does he?”

Ford didn’t answer her question.  His eyes rose over her head.  “And we’re…just about…”

*DING!*

A bell sounded through the laboratory.  The helmet finally released its death grip on her temples, as a drained Wendy nearly slid off her seat.

“Finished!”  Ford rose to his feet and went to help Wendy up onto hers.  He proudly patted her back, nearly knocking her off-balance.  “How are you feeling?”

Wendy tried to find her center as she replaced her trapper hat on top her crown of copper hair.  She grabbed her forehead.  “My brain is throbbing.”

“All perfectly normal,” he declared.  “Now, you want to be wary of any other side effects.”

“Other side effects?”

“Yes.  This is my new prototype, after all.  There wasn’t time to work out all of the kinks.”  Ford began to count off on his fingers.  “So, if you experience leaky eyes, bloody nose, oozing out of certain orifices, and/or itchy palms or soles, don’t hesitate to let me know immediately.”

“T-Thanks.  Appreciate it…”  Wendy was thankful her mind wasn’t being monitored any longer.

“Only the best for the liability.  Isn’t that right, old man?”

As Wendy staggered towards the exit, Ford returned his chair to his desk and took a seat.  He started to scribble all sorts of follow-ups into his notebooks.  “I’m going to record my latest findings, so I’m afraid I’ll be a while.”  He pointed towards the door, “If you want to go on ahead, simply throw the switch to bring the elevator back to the surface.  You’ll find a button at the end of the path that’ll re-open the vending machine leading back to your work station.”

“You got it, Ford.  I guess…I’ll see you around.”

Just as Wendy started to turn the door knob, she heard Ford call out, “Wendy, wait?”

She paused and looked back to see Ford with his chair spun towards her.

“For what it’s worth,” he anxiously adjusted his collar.  “I wanted to thank you for everything that you do for Dipper.  I, above all people, can understand how lonely and awkward things can be at his age.  I’m glad that he has someone like you to help him along.”

Wendy let out a sigh of relief.  “It’s no biggie, really.  Like I said before, he’s fun to hang with, and – “

Ford continued on, as if he didn’t hear Wendy at all, “With that said, I figure that it’s only a matter of time before things return to normal, and your life will go back to how it used to be.”

She raised an eyebrow, “I’m not following you here…”

The senior went back to writing in his research, “It’s more than obvious that Dipper is extremely interested in following in my footsteps, and to be honest, I’d be more than honored to train him to do as such.  However, if there’s one thing I’ve learned through the years, is that in this line of work, relationships, rather they be emotional or physical, romantic or platonic, are fleeting.  In the end, they serve to be nothing more than a distraction from what’s really important in life.”

“What – What are you saying?”

“That in time, I’m more than positive that Dipper will grow out of this little fascination he has with you and focus on something that actually has substance in reality.”

“You think Dipper will just forget about me?”

“Or you about him. Whichever comes first.”

Wendy was left dumbstruck. Her stomach felt twisted by the man’s lack of empathy on all fronts.  However, she couldn’t leave on this note.  There was still one worry weighing down on her mind.

“Listen, Ford.”  The ginger rubbed her elbow fretfully. “Before I go, I wanted to ask you one last thing.  Let’s say that this little experiment didn’t work, and this Bill guy does find a way to take control over me.  What would you do then?”

Ford stopped writing in his notepad, but didn’t show Wendy a speck of his attention.  Another eerie silence filled the lab.  Mere seconds passed like hours before he finally gave an answer:

“We’ll…worry about that if and then the time comes.”  He returned to his studies as if nothing had transpired.  “Please make sure to close the door behind you.”

It took nearly all of Wendy’s remaining strength to respond.  “Yeah, I’ll do that…”

As Wendy slowly shut the door, she took one last look at the seemingly-disconnected old man focusing solely on the isolated world that he created for himself.  As much as she hated to admit it, this also reminded her of “her boy” as well.

The exhausted clerk pulled the switch back, making the elevator creep back up the way it had come. She leaned against the gated wall with folded arms as her mind raced over the recent experience, and all that came from it.  A glimpse of natural light offered little comfort from the gloominess of her current surroundings.

One thing was for certain: When Wendy reached the surface, she was definitely going to have to stare at a wall for a while, and rethink everything…

[m-m-r-jess-blog]

Jamie Paige - Anew, Again

One day, on soundcloud, the internet streaming site, I come across a peculiar tag for music "Soundclown"...now, this was in 2012/13, and now it's 2016 the topic has been covered by sites/blogs, essentially, it's the audio equivalent of YouTube poop, and standing in one corner of this extreme sub-genre, was an artists called "Piss Spears" (bear with me)and, upon investigation of their account, I found a huge web of accounts, producing different music, but all created by this central person, these accounts were:  hrmnzr adrimnzer Olive Reece mel irl stab something (technically a collaborative effort) Paige Stanley blue limits piss spears cats girl And the music styles would vary wildly, from soundclowning as mel irl (with one particularly notable acoustic cover of Childish Gambino's "bonfire") to vaporwave with "blue limits". Now I'm sure in that list I've probably missed one or two but to put it simply, this artist was frequent and prolific. Now, one of the alter ego's not listed is, you guessed it, "Jamie Paige", the persons whose new album "Anew, Again" I shall be reviewing. So, without further ado, here is the review of an indie artist with 4 years’ worth of hard production, mixing, and editing.

01 - Decree Starting with a very harrowing guitar piece, and whiny vocals, Jamie sends an initially harsh message "someday everything we know will be gone" however, as they go one through this sad, somber intro, the message is turned on it's head.And just then the drums kick in, the synths pick up and everything becomes so much more cheery. Jamie's voice becomes less strained and erratic as their message becomes far more positive and motivational with lyrics like "our power is more than our sun" and "we will be alright today" which, on its face sends a message of positivity but how the artist emphasizes the use of "today" implies that there may not be a happy tomorrow, and alludes to visions of a dark nature with lyrics like "the reality facing me shows, and I cannot believe what I see"

02 - Space Center Starting off with a more chipper chord set, this time with the keyboard as the instrument of choice, they are looking back on a cold day with someone of significance outside a space center. They talk of how they hope that this person is doing better, potentially implying that this person wasn't in the best shape when they saw them for the last time. Jamie paints a rather remorseful picture, or at least regretful about this moment and how it played with notable lyrics like "I never thought for a second you'd be gone, and I'd never get to make amends with you". This song carries a surprisingly emotional punch for anyone who has ever cared for someone, only to have things move apart, either by unfortunate circumstance of negative force. 03 - Skygirl* Not bothering with much of a build, in stark contrast to the past two tracks, Skygirl starts off chipper and quickly I truly love the synths on this track, it's impossible to not want to move as it hits the breaks. And the chipper backing is met by nothing but lyrics so sugary and fluffy they'd give you diabetes if they could, and it's actually impressive. I can't work out the significance of the aforementioned 'sky girl' but regardless of the confusing chorus, lyrics like "what we need is less of tidal waves [potential jab at JayZ?] more of peace, and love, and better ways" making me just fizz up inside and go "daww"

04 - Imaginary, Effervescent Another emotionally down opener, talking of starring down on a cliff, but just like the first track, they see a vision of a figure in the distance, and as she slowly turns to face Jamie, she wakes up. The rest of the song is of Jamie reminiscing (though this time in a seemingly more positive light than on 'space centre') of time spent with this imaginary figure from their dream. With a catchy hook and a nice break before everything kicks into over-drive and things become a little cacophonic, with the vocals still just as fine and in-tact as they were previously, I feel that this song will hit or miss with most.

05 - Adelaide Delays (feat. Natbird & Marcy Nabors) The first song with a feature on the album, and, despite a few harrowing lyrics about being trapped in an abusive relationship (although these could also be a metaphor for Jamie's relationship with music in general), is an instrumental track and honestly, it's nothing special, probably the weakest part of the album for me. Not sure what role this double feature of "Natbird" and "Marcy Nabors" played but I'm gonna go ahead and assume it wasn't lyrics writing and was more likely on the production side.

06 - Song for Jijo* Another cheery song with a flow that brings to mind imagery of "The Gorillaz" or more specifically imagery of "noodle" jumping up and down in the music video to "Dare", which is odd really, because the lyrics certainly don't reflect anything Albarn would put out under that particular effort. The pacing of this song is absolutely outstanding, I can truly see this having radio-play potential on a more dance orientated station. The general tone of the song is of Jamie speaking to another significant other (though the specifics of their relationship is never even remotely touched, and it's better that way) who is clearly not doing well, despite stating they are.

07 - Grand Restore (feat. Marcy Nabors & GUMI English)* Whoa, a Vocaloid? Seriously? Well that's certainly a way to harken back to the days of your early soundcloud efforts I suppose, but it's not something that could be taken very seriously by the majority I fear. Which is a shame really, because I actually really like it, the addition of her own vocals throughout the chorus is a nice touch, but most importantly, the song is just so damn catchy, like really catchy, the intro breaks in with this almost retro synth section and Gumi's high pitch voice break in with the drums and other components of the beat. I can't give many lyrical themes here because deciphering Gumi's "Engrish" is rather...taxing, however, she speaks on following her dreams and carrying on through adversity with lyrics such as "I won't hesitate to make my dreams come true". The beat is, again, outstanding and makes me picture dancing "Noodle" again, but I don't know if this would work in a dance/club setting, just on the vocals alone.

08 - Space Center -pt. 2 This song polarises me rather heavily, on the one hand the beat is mediocre to slightly good, and the intro lyrics are talking of saying goodbye to the body and other nonsensical observations, but then the beat breaks up and Jamie says the lyrics that have been stuck in my head since I first heard the album "ALL THIS TIME" and my opinion on this track is flipped on its head and suddenly it's all I wanna listen to, but getting to the good part requires me to go through this rather synthetic feeling, "AMV" worthy intro. I can't think of a setting, whether it be a long drive, or at home drunk at 3am, in which this song works all the way through. There is a very nice drum loop for the outro that I really do enjoy.

09 - Good Time, Lead Line* Here, we see Jamie battle the voices of doubt in her head, by putting on her brave face, and simply proving them wrong, proving through doing. I'm not sure what the "lead-line" is supposed to imply here, maybe the cord connecting microphone to recorder? Regardless of that, this song incorporates everything good I've thought about Jamie's production and lyrical style, and puts it on one track, the up-beat attitude to dealing with things, it's cutesy, sure, but it comes across sincere enough that it doesn't matter. It's...also got one of the hardest outro's of any song I know, it just ends, no up-note, no down-note, it just cut's off. Which is jarring, and symbolic of how all good things must come to an end. Whether that message is intentional, it's all I got out of it. And I'm not too salty about it, honestly, because all I have to do is hit play, and suddenly I'm right back there.

OVERALL IMPRESSION - 4/10 The production here is outstanding, on most of the tracks there will be something you either like or are okay with (or in some cases, really, really, really, like) there seems to be no dislikeable production or "beats" on here. The vocals use a lot of electronic pitch shifting and alteration, which whilst it gives a smooth sound, may not be for everyone. The tone of the album is really strong and whilst I was initially critical of the first lyrics of album being so dark, honestly I applaud it for such things now. I may not have this on constant repeat but I can certainly enjoy it when I listen through it. It is a landmark of the work produced by this artist, and I mean under any of their many, many aliases. I love the combination of genres and styles, from bedroom-production low-fi on the first track to the unbelievably sugary later tracks. I must say however, is an unbalanced album, with the latter half being the strongest. My main gripe I suppose could be summed up by how poorly the first song sets up the album. It really doesn't give a good example as to what kind of ride I was in for and even in hindsight it still doesn't. To put it bluntly, it's not the greatest thing, but it's enough to make me realize I actually enjoy dance music, and more importantly, want to hear more from the artist as they grow.