#trafalgar medal

[ltwilliammowett]

Alexander Davison’s pewter Medal for Trafalgar 1805

It is believed that copper-rimmed pewter medals commemorating Nelson and H.M.S. Victory (designed by T Halliday) were hastily commissioned by Alexander Davison, Nelson’s Agent, for award to the crew of H.M.S. Victory who took part in the battle and were in London at the time of Nelson’s State Funeral, with the intention that Victory’s crew members would wear them during the funeral ceremonies and the great procession.

[woahbeans]

and they lived happily ever after

[bingus35]

I know OP Grand collection has some of the more out there cards but what is this 😭

[wordsmusicandstories]

Lady Hamilton & Horatio Nelson:  At Trafalgar (part 37)

Lady Hamilton & Horatio Nelson:  At Trafalgar (part 37)

It was Friday 13 September 1805, the day Nelson set out on his last journey after saying goodbye to little Horatia and her mother. ᚜ Friday the 13th is considered an unlucky day in Western superstition, in reference to Christian tradition: the number of people at the table at the Last Supper was thirteen, Jesus and his twelve apostles, one of whom, Judas, was about to betray him, and the next…

[aimeedaisies]

The Princess Royal’s Official Engagements in October 2023

02/10 As President of the Riding for the Disabled Association visited Avon Riding Centre, to mark its 40th Anniversary. 🐴🥳

03/10 Held two Investiture ceremonies at Windsor Castle. 🎖️

With Sir Tim As Patron of the Minchinhampton Centre for the Elderly, visited Horsfall House, Minchinhampton. 👵🏻👴🏻

04/10 In Cornwall Princess Anne visited;

Origin Coffee in Porthleven. ☕️

Camborne School of Mines at the Penryn Campus of University of Exeter, in Penryn. 🔨

St Ewe Free Range Eggs Packing Centre in Truro. 🥚

05/10 As Colonel of The Blues and Royals (Royal Horse Guards and 1st Dragoons), attended a Household Cavalry Medal Parade at Powle Lines, Picton Barracks in Wiltshire. 🫡

07/10 With Sir Tim Attended the Scotland vs Ireland Rugby World Cup match at the Stade de France in Paris. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇮🇪🇫🇷🏉

09/10 As Patron of Livability, visited Livability Millie College in Poole. 🏫

As Patron of UK Youth, visited Avon Tyrrell Outdoor Activity Centre in Bransgore. 🧗‍♀️

10/10 Attended a Future of UK Food Systems Seminar held by Crops for the Future at the National Institute of Agricultural Botany in Cambridge. 🚜

As Commandant-in-Chief (Youth) of St. John Ambulance, opened the new Ambulance Hub in Castle Donington. 🚑

11/10 Held two investiture ceremonies at Windsor Castle. 🎖️

Unofficial, Sir Tim attended the opening of the New Zealand Liberation Museum, Te Arawhata, in Le Quesnoy, France. 🇫🇷🇳🇿

As Patron of Scots in London Group attended a Reception at St Columba’s Church of Scotland. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Attended a Blue Seal Club Dinner at the Cavalry and Guards Club in Piccadilly, London. 🤵‍♂️

12/10 As Patron of the Campaign for Gordonstoun, chaired a Cabinet Meeting at the Lansdowne Club, London. 🏫

As Patron of English Rural Housing Association, attended a Parish Council Rural Housing Conference at Eversholt Hall, Bedfordshire. 🏡

Visited the Aircraft Research Association in Bedford. ✈️

As Grand Master of the Royal Victorian Order, attended Evensong and a Reception at The King’s Chapel of the Savoy, London. 🎶

14/10 Sir Tim represented Princess Anne, Patron of the Wiltshire Horn Society, at a dinner on the occasion of their centenary. 🐑

15/10 As Member of the International Olympic Committee, and Chairman of the International Olympic Committee Members Election Commission, attended the first day of the 141st International Olympic Committee Session in Mumbai, India. 🇮🇳

16/10 As Member of the International Olympic Committee, and Chairman of the International Olympic Committee Members Election Commission, attended the second day of the 141st International Olympic Committee Session in Mumbai, India. 🇮🇳

Attended an IOC Reception at Jio World Centre. 🌏

17/10 As Member of the International Olympic Committee, and Chairman of the International Olympic Committee Members Election Commission, attended the third day of the 141st International Olympic Committee Session in Mumbai, India. 🇮🇳

Visited the Commonwealth War Graves Commission Bombay 1914-1918 Memorial at the Indian Sailors’ Home, in Mumbai. 🪖

Attended a reception at the residence of His Majesty’s Trade Commissioner for South Asia and Deputy High Commissioner for Western India in Mumbai. 🌏

Unofficial Sir Tim attended a memorial service for Lord Lawson (former Chancellor of the Exchequer) at St. Margaret’s church in Westminster ⛪️

19/10 Hosted a Reception with the King, Queen and the Duchess of Edinburgh at Buckingham Palace to thank those who contributed to and were involved with the State Funeral of The late Queen Elizabeth II and with the Coronation of Their Majesties. 🥂

With Sir Tim, As Colonel-in-Chief of the Royal Army Veterinary Corps attended the launch of the Corps History Book at the National Army Museum in London. 📚

With Sir Tim, As Patron of the Royal Navy and Royal Marines Charity, attended the Trafalgar Night Dinner at the Old Royal Naval College in Greenwich, London. 🤵‍♀️🤵‍♂️

20/10 Opened Cutbush and Corrall Charity almshouse accommodation in Maidstone.

Opened the Royal British Legion Industries Centenary Village, Greenwich House, in Aylesford, Kent.

As Patron of the Butler Trust, visited HM Prison Elmley.

24/10 Held an Investiture at Windsor Castle. 🎖️

As President of the English-Speaking Union of the Commonwealth, delivered the Evelyn Wrench Lecture at Dartmouth House in London. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

25/10 In Scotland Princess Anne visited;

The International Society for Optics and Photonics Photonex Exhibition at Scottish Event Campus in Glasgow. 🔍

As President of Victim Support Scotland, visited the National Office-West in Glasgow. 🫂

Peter Equi and Sons Limited Ice Cream Manufacturer. 🍦

26/10 Opened the National Honey Show at Sandown Park Racecourse in Esher, Surrey. 🍯 🐝

As Royal Patron of the Security Institute, this afternoon attended the Annual Conference at the Royal Society of Medicine in London. ⛓️

With Sir Tim As President of the Royal Yachting Association, attended a 50th Anniversary of the Yachtmaster Scheme Dinner at Trinity House, London. 🛥️🍽️

27/10 Held an Investiture at Buckingham Palace. 🎖️

31/10 In Scotland;

As Patron of the Moredun Foundation, attended a Conference at Moredun Research Institute, Pentlands Science Park, in Penicuik. 🧬

As Royal Patron of the Leuchie Forever Fund, attended a Reception to launch Leuchie House’s new strategy in Edinburgh. 🏡

As Chancellor of the University of Edinburgh, held a Chancellor’s Dinner at the Palace of Holyroodhouse. 👩‍🎓

Total official engagements for Anne in October: 47

2023 total so far: 400

Total official engagements accompanied by Tim in October: 6

2023 total so far: 81

[opsidecrewsclash]

One Piece Side Crews Clash - Round 2

Members and Propaganda under the cut

Heart Pirates

Members:

Trafalgar Law

Bepo

Shachi

Penguin

Jean Bart

Ikkaku

Uni

Clione

Hakugan

Polar Tang

Propaganda:

LTHEYRE FROM THAT COLD NORTH BLUE SEA THEY CAN MAKE IT!!!! They're ride or die for the biggest dork with a bounty, a man who collects coins, who themed themselves after arctic animals because their captain likes leopard seals and their navigator is a polar bear. The only submariners in one piece (unless you count fishmen) they are all also medically certified (certified what? I don't know they just hand out those things in one piece) they assist the most misleadingly badass pirate Trafalgar Law, THE SURGEON OF DEATH in his surgeries (the success rate of which is incredibly low considering he also performs it on his enemies) They also put up with comatose and grieving Luffy and half of the straw pirates in a small space, on a secret mission, for an extended amount of time. They deserve a medal for that alone.

Big Mom Pirates

Members:

Propaganda:

Pirating as a family business…can’t beat that

Big Mom is awesome. She's doesn't need a fleet cos' her kids make up the equivalent of a fleet, but she has a fleet regardless. Very colourful.

[phykios]

have a silly little ficlet dump that will go nowhere

It was a glorious spring morning on Olympus when she realized that she hadn’t attended a mortal ball in quite some time. This was not, in and of itself, an odd thing–Annabeth, goddess of architecture, was not exactly someone who particularly enjoyed balls any more. In the early days, it had been exciting, mingling with those whom she had recently departed, quietly basking in their awed gazes and flowery praises.

The novelty, though, had quite worn off some hundred years back.

Still, there was something in the spring air, high above London, that made her reconsider. It was the season, after all, and Aphrodite practically glowed as she floated around the halls of the gods, given new strength and power from the sheer volume of mortal matchmaking in the city below. Some of it must have rubbed off on her, because she agreed to join the goddess of love down in the city on her invitation, to observe the latest mortal drama.

“It’s been a fine, fine season,” Aphrodite said, as they walked into the ballroom, arm in arm, as though they were much closer companions than they truly were. “Ah,” she sighed, her eyes fluttering. “My, the romance in this room! Finer than any wine, more powerful than any song!”

And she flounced off, tittering, the smell of roses nearly overpowering in her wake. Leaving Annabeth quite alone.

That was fine. She didn’t mind, terribly.

She took her turns with a variety of young men, army officers all. Some of them had the air of Ares or Mars about them, and it didn’t take long for Annabeth to notice the god himself, skulking about in backrooms, waiting for his illicit lover. Is that why Aphrodite had insisted on Annabeth’s company?

Before she could dwell too deeply on it, she had a new partner in her arms, and it was only a testament to her centuries of existence that she did not gasp upon seeing him.

The hair. The face. Those eyes. It couldn’t be.

The man bowed over her hand, the picture of courtesy. “Good evening, lady.”

She swallowed, imperceptible to mortal senses. “Good evening.”

“May I have the distinct pleasure of your name?” He grinned up at her, roguish and slanted, and her heart shook.

“Only if I have yours first,” she shot back. She needed time, time to calm herself. What an odd sensation, requiring time.

“Of course.” Straightening up, he stood tall and proud in his uniform, his deep blue coat brushed to perfection, his Trafalgar medal shining. “Lieutenant Jackson, of His Majesty’s Royal Navy. And you are…?”

“…Miss Chase,” she said, splitting the difference. She would not give this man her name. Not yet.

There was a flicker in his eyes, something that could be recognition–or could be something else entirely. “A pleasure, Miss Chase, a great pleasure indeed.”

[littleastrobleme]

A Very Franklin Holiday

Recently I had a brief but exciting visit to London with my mother and saw many Franklin-related sites and artifacts that I have written about in my thesis, but never actually gotten to see. Here are the highlights:

Sir John's Statue, Trafalgar Square

He's in a quiet area downhill from Nelson's big monument. This statue was unveiled in the 1860s with Jane Franklin in attendance. It features a relief of Crozier delivering Franklin's funeral service, as well as the names of the lost crew. His statue was placed in front of a really pretty, peaceful and very green space; an apt contrast to his final resting place, I think.

Franklin Relics at the National Maritime Museum

These objects included the famed dip circle and chronometer, a boot from Starvation Bay, a pemmican canister, Sir John's Hanoverian Guelphic Order medal and Dr. McDonald's medicine chest, still well-stocked with supplies (this fact put many unpleasant questions in my head).

I also saw JCR's Hot Boy Arctic Summer portrait, as well as some other polar paintings I didn't get great images of.

The below message was deployed using balloons by searchers in hopes that Franklin's men would see them and adjourn to safe depots or rescue ships.

Bonus: After World War I, ships started distinguishing themselves with ship's badges that represented the vessel with a unique image. Later Erebuses and Terrors had dope badges!

(The Terror one was like fifteen feet in the air, sorry)

Below, examples of other ship's badges (note HMS Scott!!) and an activity where kids could design their own:

Sir John's Monument, Westminster

More images here: https://littleastrobleme.tumblr.com/post/712444752573972480/sir-john-franklin-my-personal-friend-sir-john

Bonus Round: Scott's Statue!

Looking lofty and explorerly, he was within eyesight of Franklin's statue and also Nelson's.

Final Thoughts:

It was really surreal to see monuments and artifacts I wrote my master's thesis about after I had already written the dang thing. It was very surreal to see Franklin relics in real life. I messaged a friend this description of my experience with them and I think it gets my thoughts across well, so I will put it here:

"I got to see my first Franklin relics in person at the National Maritime Museum. They were.... Underwhelming isn't the right word. They just seemed really small and remote. They looked sad, you know? Despite no longer being strewn across the scree of King William Island, something about these lonesome scraps of vanished human lives sitting devoid of much context in a glass case made them seem so sad."

Thanks for joining me on this little quest for Franklinalia! Getting to go to London after missing out on a study abroad that would have taken me there in 2020 was such a special privilege and I feel very lucky.

[stainlesssteellocust]

“…they showered us in flower petals, draped our bodies in white chiffon and silver, and arranged for us a Triumph through the reconquered streets of London. I still remember, the cheers of the crowd, the laughter of the soldiers, the weeping of the captives they had strung up for our entertainment. The statues had been stripped from Trafalgar Square, of course, so we had to use replacement decorations; blunted stakes, for the most part. Edith helped organise it; that was when they started calling her the Shrike-Spear.

“We never did get Nelson’s statue back. Most of it got melted down for medals, and we recovered some of those, but the head is in a museum at Tcho-Tsui even now. One day...”

[sea-dukes-assistant]

King Charles III Coronation 2.0

I forgot some stuff the first time: my collection of fancy boxers has garnered more appreciation that I thought, apparently, so there's that, and my CVO medal for *ahem* personal services to Late Ma'am's husband. Also, *wears 'Merican chest candy HARDER*.

I TOLD Y'ALL. DRESS BLUES.

OK so some context here, first: Amongst the fics I have (still) sitting in my drafts, Sir has seen fit to give me the honorary rank of Lieutenant Commander in his Navy because, well, *gestures vaguely at the entire headcanon* this is entirely self-indulgent bullshit I share because Sea Duke gets laid and we all like when that happens.

MOVING ON. *ahem*

Yes, so, Royal Navy dress blues (No. 1B dress). I don't have ceremonial day dress because that's reserved for Vice Admiral and above. Shaving cream and cologne are Truefitt & Hill's "Trafalgar." Chest candy is my own, and, befitting of any occasion where the Royal Navy is doing stuff, there is Pusser's Rum/grog involved because, by Sea Duke, we finna get litty titty after the ceremony. Camilla will of course try to crash the party and we'll let her. Go on Ma'am, twerk dat ass; IT IS UR DAY TOO, QUEEN (LITERALLY).

Oh also the "SUCK IT, HAROLD" sign to hold up while I'm on the balcony, because I, too, can be petty on international TV.

[ltwilliammowett]

The Battle of Trafalgar - a brief timeline

At 6am on 21 October 1805, the two fleets sighted each other and at 6.40am Nelson gave the order to ‘prepare for battle’. The French were sailing in line off Cape Trafalgar, while the British came in from the west, gradually forming two lines. The British fleet was outnumbered, the enemy totalling nearly 30,000 men and 2632 guns to Nelson’s 18,000 men and 2148 guns.

Plan of Lord Horatio Nelson's attack strategy (1758-1805), on the combined fleet (France and Spain), October 21, 1805 (Battle of Trafalgar). Lithograph (27 x 36.7 cm), published by Robert Dodd, 1805, England

At 11.45am Nelson ordered a special signal to be flown from his flagship Victory. It read: ‘England expects that every man will do his duty’. The signal was greeted with delight by the fleet.

Finally, at 11.50am, French commander Pierre-Charles-Jean-Baptiste-Silvestre de Villeneuve sent the signal ‘engage the enemy’. The French vessel Fougueux fired the first shots at Vice-Admiral Cuthbert Collingwood’s flagship, Royal Sovereign. The battle had begun. Collingwood was the first to reach the enemy line, firing a broadside into one of the Spanish flagships, Santa Anna. The ships in his division followed him, approaching in a slanting line, spreading the force of the impact and enveloping the allied rear as Nelson had intended.

HMS Victory, by Patrick O'Brien (1960-)

Nelson meanwhile headed towards the great Spanish ship, Santissima Trinidad, but spotting that Villeneuve was flying his flag on the Bucentaure, the next ship astern, he ordered Flag Captain Thomas Hardy to attack her first. The Victory passed under the stern, firing a broadside as she went, giving the Bucentaure a knockout blow.

As the Victory moved on she became entangled in the Redoutable, and the two ships drifted away. This created a large gap in the Franco-Spanish line through which Nelson’s division then poured, splitting the enemy fleet in two – again, exactly as Nelson intended.

Breaking the Line, by Patrick O'Brien (1960-)

The battle developed into a ferocious pounding match but the British had the advantage thanks to Nelson’s strategic pre-planning and the fact his men were better trained in delivering rapid, accurate gunnery. When firing finally ceased at 5.30pm, 17 enemy ships had been captured and another was a blazing wreck. Four managed to escape but were captured a few weeks later, and 11 managed to struggle back to Cadiz.

A total of 449 British sailors were killed and 1217 wounded. French and Spanish losses were heavier: 4408 were dead, 2545 wounded and some 20,000 taken prisoner.

Britain’s decisive victory was overshadowed by news of the death of Nelson, who was shot onboard Victory at 1.15pm and died at 4.30pm. The triumph was further eclipsed by a fierce storm that raged after the battle, forcing the British to abandon most of their captured enemy ships.

The Battle of Trafalgar, 21 Ocotober 1805, by unknown

News of Trafalgar reached London a fortnight later in the early hours of 6 November 1805. Public rejoicing for the victory was muted by widespread sorrow for the death of Nelson. As a reward for Trafalgar, Collingwood was made a baron, all the captains received the official Naval Gold Medal and a special grant of money was made by the government to all those who had taken part. This was to compensate them for the prize money they lost when their captured vessels sank in the storm.

The Battle of Trafalgar cemented Britain’s reputation as ruler of the seas and demonstrated that the Royal Navy had superiority in training, professionalism and expertise in naval tactics that set it apart from its rivals. By 1809 there were over 140,000 men serving on 732 ships, more than ever before.

However, the victory at Trafalgar had little overall impact on the course of the war. Napoleon needed more to be stopped.

[woahbeans]

pov the cashier at hot topic is kinda cute

(ask me about my law playlist it’s 5 hours of 2010s emo music)

[valkyries-things]

JANE TOWNSEND // SAILOR

“She was a 19th-century British sailor. She is notable for her service on HMS Defiance during the Battle of Trafalgar. According to one source, she was the first woman to be awarded the General Service Medal.”

[travelella]

Norway Fun Facts!

There are 400,000 lakes in Norway

Norway ranks 8th among the countries having the longest coastlines on earth.

Norwegians indulge in a 4-week holiday every summer season.

In 1884, the Norwegians impeached their government.

The most famous chocolate factory in Norway is Freia. It also served as the inspiration for Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Norwegians are the biggest readers in the whole world.

Almost 70% of Norway is uninhabited.

Norway is also one of the least corrupt countries in the world.

The world's longest road tunnel is in Norway. The Lærdal Tunnel is 15 miles (24.5 km) long.

The Norwegian capital of Oslo has been the proud venue of the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony every year (with just a few exceptions) since 1901.

Everyone living in Norway has three figures taken from their annual tax return published: their annual income, income tax paid, and total wealth.

Norway is the world's most successful nation at the Winter Olympic Games. Despite having little more than 5 million residents, Norway has won more medals than any other country in Olympic history.

To say thank you for their help during World War II, the city of Oslo sends Britain a tree every Christmas. The tall Norwegian spruce from the Oslo forest is placed prominently in Trafalgar Square.

[bantarleton]

1854 Photograph, taken 49 years after Trafalgar. Group portrait of three Greenwich Pensioners seated, holding canes, wearing bicorn hats and facing the viewer. From left to right is Ralph, Ausdell and Witty. Ausdell is the only man wearing any medals. (Royal Collection Trust)

[nehswritesstuffs]

Thousand Arc Reactor Derived Intertemporal Starship, but we just call her Thousand Sunny

OR, “Why Are So Many of These Space-Time Adventurers Extremely Hot?”: An Essay Crisis Bi-Panic Essay By Sanji Jambenoire

I apologize in advance for this, like, wow.

4042 words; come and feast your eyes upon what is definitely a most unholy of unions between two of my favorite fandoms and I’m still amazed I took this long to come up with it despite the fact it should have been clear in retrospect that I’m a ticking time bomb; contains ZoSan and mentions of other ships for our favorite blond bicycle, as well as some Sanji ogling because, well, it’s Sanji;

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Things had not exactly been normal since the day Monkey D. Luffy crashed into Sanji’s life.

For one, the dude was a fucking alien. Not, like, from a foreign country alien, but from another goddamned galaxy. Literally. The asshole crashed his ship into his foster dad’s restaurant and everything had devolved from there. One minute he was kicking out an asshole who wasted food, the next there’s this blue box smoldering in the dining room, with a young man stumbling out to announce how hungry he was and stretched his limbs to gobble up the food the asshole was going to waste.

Yeah. Stretched. Like taffy. Bloody fucking alien from outer space.

Secondly, after a lot of arguing, his dad kicked him out of the restaurant and onto the ship, claiming it would do him some good. While the thing nominally looked like a blue police box, inside the seemingly-wooden doors and there truly was an entire ship inside. It was a rather big adjustment, but everything seemed to slot into place fairly easily…

…and that mostly was because of the third thing: the rest of the “ship’s crew” was more than a bit on the odd side.

Luffy had a habit of… collecting people, as it were. Sanji was only one of many people he ended up collecting in his adventures. Well… maybe the term “collecting” wasn’t entirely the case. Possibly “acquired” might be better. No matter what, it was a weird group, though they always made things feel natural, in a ways.

Then again, how could one think things were really, genuinely natural when there was a nine-foot skeleton, a blue-haired cyborg, and a man-fish that sort of wandered around everywhere?

Not a terribly easy thing to do—he really deserved a fucking medal.

Thusly, Sanji traveled with this man—this Time Lord—and his motley crew of weirdos whose origins stretched throughout time and space. There were a lot of Time Lords out there, and the most enigmatic of them with the initial D. in their name, and sometimes, their paths crossed.

“I swear by all that is right in the galaxies, Strawhat-ya, I will break my Hippocratic Oath one day and flat-out murder you,” grumbled the Time Lord they were now currently stranded on a planet with. Both of their ships had picked up distress signals, which meant that Luffy—the Straw Hat—wanted to investigate and Trafalgar Law—the Surgeon—had wanted to make certain there was no one that needed medical attention. Unluckily for both of them, tractor beams kept both their ships grounded while they attempted to figure out what was keeping them there.

“Shishishi—looks like there’s no other choice but to go on an adventure, Torao!” Luffy grinned draping his arm around the other man’s shoulders in the casual way only an interdimensional trickster-god-cum-hazard-to-all-life-itself could pull off. “Isn’t that great?!”

“It’s… something.” Law glared at the small cluster of Luffy’s “crew” that had gathered and attempted to bore a hole through them with only his eyes. When it didn’t work, he raised an eyebrow. “Maybe you happen to have some sense of normalcy, unlike your captain.”

“I’d agree with you,” Sanji shrugged, “but he did convince us to leave our lives and travel with him.”

The Surgeon closed his eyes and grumbled—of course he did.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The biggest thing about travelling with Monkey D. Luffy—the Straw Hat, Time Lord Extraordinaire—Sanji found was that he did like to keep an interesting ship.

The particular space-time ship that they were on was custom-built by a cyborg named Franky, the sleek walls and tasteful décor contrasting his loud and obnoxious personality. Was he just an American? From the future? The blond really didn’t know. Shit, he didn’t even know what the Historian found in him.

Oh, yeah, there were other Time Lords on the crew as well. The Historian—Nico Robin, to some—was a powerful woman whose ability to replicate her limbs made Sanji’s heart flutter at the possibilities. The Musician—Soul King Brook—was the walking skeleton with an ear for music so uncanny it could alter emotions and thoughts. The Physician—Tony Tony Chopper—could transform between different sorts of reindeer-themed forms. It was all a bit much, really.

It wasn’t as though the non-Time Lord crewmembers were shoddy, however. Nami was a cartography whiz with the innate ability to find their way through a transtemporal storm with ease. Usopp was an incredible marksman, having grown up in an idyllic colony where really the only thing to do on the entire planet was target practice. Jinbe, despite being an Earthen Sea Devil from the dawn of time, if one would believe, was an excellent driver and could handle any craft from the sprawling multi-dimensional ship to a motorbike. Roronoa Zoro of the Shimotsuki Clan of Wano Prefecture, the spicy-as-fuck actual samurai from the actual Sengoku fucking Jidai fuck fuck fuck why is he hot like a tater tot, could cut through pert near anything with his three swords. No, one of them was not permanently attached. Sanji was not equipped to see all four of the man’s “swords” at once.

It almost made his talent of cooking seem like child’s play, in a way.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“How in the hell have we really survived this long?”

Sanji, Zoro, and Law were all watching as Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and several members of Law’s crew bounced happily on the spongy surface of the planet, Robin having deduced that it was a living organism of sorts that colonized the planet after more active species accidentally left some during a resupply stop. Much of the Straw Hat and Surgeon’s crews were off investigating the area, all with the exception of the dozen who were left.

“This is… typical,” Law muttered. “Whenever Strawhat-ya is around, logic and reason and maturity seem to go right out the airlock.”

“Eh, could be worse,” Zoro shrugged. The other two looked at him, eyebrows raised. “We could also be underwater right now.”

Ah, yes, the tragic flaw of the Time Lord: their bodies were so dense due to the extra… stuff allowing them to do their respective weirdo things that they could not float. Sanji knew it well, having had to fish Luffy out of the shallow end of a kiddie pool before. Law was also suspiciously silent—it nearly sounded like he was in agreement.

“Hey, Captain!” one of the Surgeon’s minions laughed. Porg? Penguin? Puffin? Sanji couldn’t keep track anymore. “Come on! Jump with us!”

“I’ll stay here, thank you,” Law grumbled. “Where is Ikkaku-ya and Clione-ya? I need their report.”

“You’re also starting to think there’s no need for distress beacons on this plant too, aren’t you?” Sanji wondered aloud. He side-eyed Law and tried not to drool—how in the hell did he make those gross tats look delectable? “It really is too damn quiet.”

“Wish it weren’t the case, Blackleg-ya.” There was a loud thud behind him and they turned, seeing the Surgeon’s aforementioned crewmates scrambling to get to their feet and run to them. “Report.”

“We think we found the source of the distress signal,” the man, Clione, replied as he gulped for breath. “It was definitely a plea for assistance from a sentient being.”

“Was…?” Zoro wondered, eyebrow raised.

Ikakku’s mouth twisted as she tried not to shudder. “You ever see turkey jerky?”

No; Zoro had never seen a turkey, let alone a jerky of it.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Every so often, they take a break on Earth. Mostly it’s Sanji and Nami’s home spacetime, in their flat that they only can afford because his foster dad owns the building, and it’s not like they really mind. Logueton is a decently-sized city, with enough weird shite going on that people might look twice at the Musician, but not think too hard about it.

It also helps that UNIT’s there, although they’re not much help either. Absolutely riddled with other Time Lords, it acts as the front to all the extraterrestrial hullabaloo that goes on, explaining it away as military drills or film sets or a gas leak. Some days it succeeds better than others. They’re working on it.

It was dark as Sanji was walking back from his closing shift at the Baratie, his foster father’s riverboat restaurant, when he came across Zoro staring at a tree. Well, more like glaring at the tree.

“Oi, marimo, it’s not going to bow unless you cut it,” he mentioned around his cigarette. He took a drag and let the smoke filter out slowly in the cool evening air as he walked up to the other man. “What did it ever do to you?”

“You don’t have trees here.”

“You’re looking straight at one, dipshit.”

“…but it’s one tree. Why aren’t there many others? I get lost so easy without the trees.”

“…because this isn’t a nature park or forest,” Sanji frowned. He looked at the way the Western dress shirt and slacks hung on Zoro and choked back a whine—fuck, he could be a model… a surly, green-haired, built-as-hell model. “Maybe I can take you to one on my next day off. Would you like that?”

“Is that a Logueton courtship ritual?”

“It doesn’t have to be.” Except, please, yes, just do it already. “Come on; let’s walk home.”

“Another courtship ritual.”

“What’s with you and the courtship rituals?”

“You’re the one who keeps suggesting them.”

“…and what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that if we hurry back to the flat then there will be no one there to overhear me bust your ass raw with my hips.”

A curled eyebrow raised. “Oh…? How cute. You think you’d top.”

“Don’t need to in order to make you lose all control, future pretty boy.”

Sanji grinned, terrified. Oh, it was on.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Ikkaku and Clione did genuinely find the source of the distress signals, but it wasn’t pretty.

It had been the doing of another Time Lord, one that was clearly more vicious than any of the ones within their current ranks. Both crews gathered around the charred corpse, most none too pleased that they were dealing with something this big already.

“Who do you think it was?” Nami scowled. “This doesn’t look like the Garrison’s doing.”

“Miss Nami,” one of the Surgeon’s crew grimaced, “with all due respect: the man is West Quadrant Mafioso.”

“She’s right—he’s too into guns,” the Historian supplied. “This is also not the Haboob—the victim is too hydrated.”

“Sand-themed shit should give you a better name than Haboob,” Usopp frowned. He then looked at the Historian with a raised eyebrow. “How would you know?”

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers for,” Jinbe said. He glanced up at the Straw Hat, who seemed to be vibrating in excitement. “You seem to know what’s going on, don’t you?”

“Nope!” Luffy beamed. “This is pretty neat though, isn’t it? The mystery! The adventure!”

“Something that knew how to send a distress signal is dead,” the Physician chided as he examined the corpse. The Surgeon knelt next to him, watching pensively. “What do you think?”

“The body was clearly damaged after death,” he replied. Taking a finger, he outlined the neck, stopping at a specific point. “Point of impact was here—they tried to misdirect the blame, make it seem as though someone like the Haboob or the Electrician, but the signs are there, pointing to only one person.”

“Whom?”

“None other than the Heavenly Yaksha himself, Blackleg-ya,” the Surgeon said, deathly serious. “There’s going to be additional bodies somewhere—possibly a colony or a ship that fell by the wayside—and that’s where we’re going to find answers.”

Why couldn’t they have a normal, less-threatening adventure for once? Weird food and pretty space-women and maybe some bizarro-world environments like saltwater in rain and native species that had eyes in their hands. Was that really too much to ask?

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“While I appreciate you’ve made friends, I’d like if you not get distracted while at work.”

Sanji snapped out of his stupor and looked down at the stock pot in front of him, near to bubbling over and ruining the soup. His face went red as he adjusted the heat and glared at his foster father from across the Baratie’s kitchen.

“I wasn’t thinking about them,” he lied.

“Carne lives right below you and that Japanese lad had you screaming into your mattress for two hours last night.” Oh, fuck—caught. “See you got over Viola pretty quick.”

“She wanted a stability I am not ready to provide.”

“Pudding’s been asking after you again.”

“She attends my cookery class once and she’s the most in love she claims to have ever been in.”

“Gin stopped in yesterday.”

“What can I say? I’m just destined to leave a trail of broken hearts behind me.”

“You’re destined to burn the fucking soup if you’re not careful,” his dad snapped. “If I crack open a history book about feudal Japan, am I going to see a woodcut of your new bedwarmer committing seppuku due to the painful memory of his blond lover from the stars?”

“You wound me.”

“You get away from the fucking soup and work on chopping this veg—maybe the repetition will clear your head before the dinner rush.”

“You sure giving me a knife is a good idea, Pops?”

“Just the fuck away from the soup, Eggplant.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Sanji took the knife and began chopping vegetables for use in other dishes later that night. He popped a stick of chewing gum in his mouth and started on the onions—what a great single solution for multiple problems. “At least I get a leg up every now and then.”

“You don’t want to know what I get up to,” Zeff scoffed from the soup. “It’d make your toes curl.”

“Wouldn’t change the fact that you still go home to a cat.” Sanji grinned inwardly—ha, got him.

“At least it’s not a ball of moss.”

Fuck—had him there.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

As usual, the Surgeon was correct with pinpoint accuracy. There were more bodies further out, clustered around what appeared to be not only a downed spaceship, but a generations-old colony that surrounded it. Both crews moved about the carnage with unease.

“It must have just happened,” Usopp noticed. “The grass is still pretty short—I’d say the last time they ran a mower through was a week ago.”

“That’s how you notice?” Sanji scoffed. A weird feeling lurched in his gut as he looked around; there was something extra-wrong about this. “What are the rest of you seeing?”

“There’s absolutely no one adorned in any sort of decoration,” one of the Surgeon’s crew said. “There’s no jewelry, necklaces, rings, tattoos, piercings… and everyone has one of three haircuts.”

“Not only that,” the Physician whimpered, “there’s a sour smell in the air, worse than death normally is.”

“No children,” the Historian replied. She allowed the Physician to bury his face in her side, patting him as a mother would her child. “This colony has been around for many decades, and yet there are no children. There is a school, but none of her students amongst the dead. It is highly improbable all of them escaped.”

“Then we just have to find the survivors,” Luffy nodded. Sanji glanced over at the Surgeon, noting how the other man had gone near sheet-white in his face. “What’s wrong, Torao?”

“I hate being right,” the Surgeon grumbled. He nodded once, gesturing over towards a building with a crossed-out smiley face painted on it. “That’s his symbol.”

“Who’s?” Luffy asked, picking his nose. Nami smacked him on the backside of his head, causing him to tumble forward.

“Heavenly Yaksha, you moron!” she sniped. “Weren’t you even listening back there?! I don’t want to get mixed up in that creep’s business!”

“Sorry, but we already are,” Bepo said. For being a bipedal talking polar bear, he certainly had an adorable, little brother sort of air about him. “By answering the distress signal, we’re in it now.”

“Luffy, if I’m late for my next shift because of this, I’m going to kick your ass,” Sanji hissed. The Straw Hat simply grinned at him before wandering off.

“We travel in space-time ships,” Franky noted. “Being late for work is a super-high improbability.”

“...except it’s Luffy: everything improbable happens when it comes to him.”

Shit—he was right.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was weird enough splitting his time between his father’s restaurant and adventuring throughout time and space, but it was much weirder as the two lives he lived began to blur together like a glitch between reality and the Matrix.

At least Nami living at his flat had been pretty normal before then. She was Human, as most people on Earth came, and that wasn’t too disorienting. It was when the rest of Luffy’s collection began showing up around Logueton and at the Baratie did it become a point of contention.

The Historian wasn’t terribly bad, sitting in the corner with tea and a book, and Zeff guessed the Musician and Jinbe were alright on a slow day, but the Straw Hat showing up usually meant that there was something weird about to happen, and chances were something was also going to be broken. Few of the rest of them made for a calmer time, which raised the old man’s blood pressure more than he cared to admit.

“I hate to say that your cross-century affair is one of the most normal things about this,” Zeff said through gritted teeth. He was overseeing as his dining room was being cleaned up, as Usopp had been working on a new batch of Ghost Pepper Exploding Stars and Luffy, Franky, and Chopper had knocked into him, the entire thing exploding. Tears streamed down their faces as they cleaned, the materials of the munitions getting to them. Sanji and some of the rest of staff were watching as well, waiting to be able to prep to open the restaurant.

“It’s weirder that our little shit’s not sleeping with the ginger after all,” Carne mumbled. Patty hit his fist atop the other man’s head and he cursed. “Hey! He’s fucking horny and she’s a hot score! It’d be hard for anyone to keep out of her bed, I imagine.”

“You’re just pissed you lost money on it,” Patty quipped. Eh, couldn’t argue there. He looked over at the corner booth where Zoro was sleeping while Robin read and Jinbe and Brook shared tea. “Aren’t any of you going to help?”

“They need to learn to clean their own messes,” Brook chuckled. “Besides, ghost pepper sauce is for ribs that still have meat on them… which I distinctly lack.”

“I still wonder some days what kind of soup you boil into,” Carne shot back. The Musician shivered at the chill in the air—how threatening.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The two crews eventually found where the colony’s children were being held hostage, and it was subsequently difficult for them all not to go bloody ballistic. The children—along with a small group of adults—were tied up and imprisoned inside a laboratory, with a small staff milling about freely. When the leader saw the Surgeon had broken into the lair, he tried to hide his fear behind laughter.

“Funny it is to see you here, Trafalgar Law,” he chortled. “I see you’ve brought some friends.”

“What are you doing?!” the Surgeon demanded. The lead scientist shrugged.

“Joker’s wishes,” he replied. He then turned his attention to the Straw Hat and the others. “How cute—friends? Other subjects?”

“The people who are going to kick your ass,” Luffy snarled.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“It’s called Cup-a-Soup. I get nice ones—not the American shit. It’ll do until I can go to the store.”

Trafalgar Law stared at the box in Sanji’s hand, his brow furrowed in confusion. What about instant soup was absolutely blowing that man’s mind? He and several of his crew were currently stuffed into the flat along with all the Sunny’s usual bunch, meaning the blond didn’t have nearly enough food in the place to feed all of them at that exact moment.

“Don’t they have instant soup on your planet?”

He didn’t know if the stunned silence was cute or just plain infuriating.

“Fine; I’m taking Chopper and we’re getting supplies. None of you assholes touch anything. That includes you, Luffy!” He pointed at the stretchy Time Lord as he let go of the windowsill, allowing the twist of his arms that wrapped around his body to snap back into place. Grabbing his keys, phone, and wallet, he went with the small reindeer-teen out of the flat and began the walk to the store. “Fuck, Zeff’s going to kill me.”

“Why would he do a thing like that?” Chopper wondered. Sanji looked at his friend and sighed—the Physician was too pure a person to get embroiled in half of the shit they were involved in.

“The flat he’s currently letting Nami-swan and I rent is currently filled with no fewer than fifteen rowdy crazies from across time and space, and I know that the man who lives underneath us needs to open the restaurant in the morning.” He lit a cigarette to smoke as they went—what a fucking pain. At least it was dark out, meaning that Chopper didn’t have to worry as much about which form he was wandering about in. “I feel like I need more than a goddamned smoke.”

“You know how I feel about that,” Chopper chided gently.

“I know.” He patted him on the head. “I’ll get there, one day. Just gotta get these fucking stress levels down, you know?”

Chopper reluctantly nodded in agreement and changed into a large, fur-covered man as they went into the store. The pair went and bought enough supplies to feed a small army, with Chopper’s immense size helping as they readied to take the shopping home. On their way, they almost ran directly into a woman who was carrying a sword and wearing a pair of eyeglasses atop her head.

“Citizens! I’m from the United Naval Integral Taskforce! Have you seen a giant man-eating gorilla come out of the supermarket?! I have reports of something along that description threatening the peace!”

“It went that way,” Sanji and Chopper said in unison, pointing in the opposite in which they were walking. The woman sprinted off, leaving the other two to go about their business.

“I wonder why she just doesn’t wear contacts,” Chopper wondered.

“…and risk touching an eyeball? I get why she doesn’t.” They calmly went back to the flat and opened the door, only to find that the kitchen was now a complete disaster, with the sane ones having fled to the inside of the Sunny while someone decided to try to make Cup-a-Soup.

How Sanji had never had a stroke was honestly beyond medical knowledge.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Caesar Clown was exactly that—a clown for Luffy to punch into oblivion as the rest of the crew freed the captured colonists. Some of the Surgeon’s crew were able to work with Franky to rig the laboratory—a spaceship in its own right—to jettison itself out of the atmosphere and past orbit, sending him back to where the Heavenly Yaksha had his base of operations. It was then up to the two crews to help bury the dead and, afterwards, lead the remaining inhabitants in a Glad to Be Alive party.

“So, who killed the colonists?” the Surgeon asked. The Straw Hat chewed his food and stared at him.

“Uhh… the Heavenly Yaksha.”

“Yes—now who did we just narrowly miss running into here because he left early?”

“The Heavenly Yaksha.”

“Good,” Sanji groaned. “Now, who did we just send Caesar Clown to?”

“Joker.”

“So this means…?”

“We still need to find out the connection between Heavenly Yaksha and Joker! Hey! Usopp! That’s my meat!” The Straw Hat dove across the table for some more mutton, which made both Sanji and the Surgeon groan in frustration.

“Blackleg-ya, I don’t really know how you do this all the bloody time,” the Time Lord said.

“To be honest? I’m not entirely sure how I do either.”