#traffic here is terrible. and yet. the schedule doesn’t match.

[crowcryptid]

Thank you to my professor for having common sense and ending the class 30 mins early cause no one who is willingly taking a class at this time is memorizing chemical formulas past 9 pm

[lou-struck]

When You're With Me

Tooru Oikawa x Reader

~Tooru has just gotten back from a long trip abroad and is ready to get home. 

WC:1.6k

This is my Submission for @mrskenmakozume Home Collab which can be found HERE

Tagging: @enchantedforest-network

Rain pummels your windshield as you creep through your lane at a snail’s pace as yet another driver cuts you off clearly, not paying attention to where they are going. 

You glance at your dashboard clock and see the blinking green numbers glaring back at you. 

03:24 am and let loose a dramatic sigh as the car that cut in front of you merges poorly again, this time nearly hitting a group of businessmen who were making their way across the crosswalk.

It’s far too early to deal with this bullshit. 

But people always do crazy things when they are in love

Even if it’s something like picking their boyfriend up from the airport at three in the morning

Tooru Oikawa has been away for two months traveling the globe with his professional volleyball team. Of course, he has had tons of away trips before; none have ever lasted this long.

It’s strange, but without him, the new house the two of you moved into doesn’t feel like home. 

The rapidly changing time zones and your schedules have made communicating nearly impossible. Whenever you have a free moment, he is out with his teammates or is in a dead zone, and whenever he’s free, it’s at some ungodly hour when you are trying to sleep.

You have missed him terribly. 

Watching your boyfriend’s volleyball matches on the television did little to lighten the load you have placed on your heart.

“To keep up with this heavy volume of traffic, please use the front two lanes solely for unloading passengers and luggage. Violators will be towed at the owner’s expense.” The automated speaker repeats for the third time since you have been waiting in the arrivals drop-off lane at the airport.

If it weren’t so early, you would feel a bit guilty picking up your boyfriend in your pajamas and fuzzy slippers, but you don’t have the energy to care, not when you are only a few meters away from finally getting to see him up close.

And that you do. 

Clad in his team’s warm-up sweats and jacket, Tooru stands on the edge of the sidewalk looking out at the passing cars trying to spot yours. When he sees you approaching, his features light up boyishly, and he starts to walk toward you. He makes it halfway until he looks behind him, where his luggage sits untouched by everything except for the rain.

He doesn’t have the time to look embarrassed as he grabs them and weaves through the crowd of travelers. When he gets to the car, he impatiently tosses both bags into the back seat with a tired grunt. 

He slams the door shut a bit louder than he intended to do, but it doesn’t slow him down at all. In a flash, the passenger door swings open, and he lunges over the center console with a squeal. “Baby, you’re here. I have missed you so much. Did you miss me?” 

His long, lean arms wrap around you, and he holds you as close to his body as he can.

His normally pristine-looking hair is drenched with rainwater, and the droplets soak through the sleep shirt you have on. But it doesn’t bother you. “Of course I have.” 

Despite the annoyed honking of the cars around you itching for your spot, you continue to hold him. The heavy weight of loneliness that has been resting over your heart disappears as you listen to the familiar rhythm of his heartbeat.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he repeats, mumbling into your shoulder. “I’m sorry it took so long.”

“You sure took your time.” you sniffle, “We should’ve done this hours ago.”

He snorts amusedly and gives you a playful squeeze, “Next time, I’ll just fly the plane myself through the damn thunderstorm; I’m sure I could.”

“I don’t think it’s that easy,” you giggle, pulling back to get a good look at his face. As much as he tries to hide with playful winks and looks of adoration, he looks utterly exhausted; his skin has an unnatural paleness to it that accentuates the dark bags that rest under his bright brown eyes. You know he can’t sleep on airplanes, so he must be running on fumes by now.

“Can we go home?” he mumbles, tiredly gripping your hand. “I want nothing more than to just fall asleep in our bed, in our room with you.”

“Absolutely,” you respond, intertwining your fingers with his, “I think we both deserve a good night’s sleep.” Driving with one hand is considerably difficult, but you don’t want to let go of Tooru’s hand for even a moment. 

He is abnormally quiet for the majority of the car ride home as he stares down at your hand, occasionally running his thumb over the back of your hand. 

“Did you watch me?” he murmurs softly, breaking the comfortable silence. “In my games?”

“Every game, but you know that already.” you tease, a pleasant smile on your lips from his question. You know what’s coming next.

He smirks and raises your hand to his lips in a teasing kiss. “But did you really watch me? That one serve I did was incredible, wasn’t it?”

“Tooru, you broke the poor guy’s nose.” you giggle. “I don’t know if I’d call that incredible.”

“Nope, I did him a favor~” he yawns, looking just a bit sinister; you don’t know all the details, but the player he nailed with that wicked serve of his was known to be quite the instigator in the Volleyball League. “He didn’t know how to shut up, so I gave him a distraction.”

“Just as petty as ever,��� you giggle as you turn down your street. Tiredness makes the trip go by much faster.

“I think you meant to say pretty.” he grins as you pull into your driveway. The neighborhood is quiet as your car comes to a stop. It’s not even four in the morning, so the two of you have plenty of time to catch up on some rest. Especially since you both have the day off.

“Should we get your bags out of the back?” you ask, sliding out of the driver’s seat.

“Leave them; I have more important things to bring in with me.” he coos, stepping out the door and scooping you up. You cover your mouth to muffle your squeal and look around. Your neighbors may be suckers for Tooru’s charm, but you don’t think you have the same effect on them.

After spending the day traveling, you wonder how he still has the strength to carry you; the stamina of professional athletes never ceases to amaze you. 

“Ahh, home sweet home.” he sighs dreamily, unlocking the door and carrying you through the threshold as if you are newlyweds. He locks the door behind him with a click and reluctantly sets you down carefully with the last of his energy; whatever else he was going to say was cut up by a deep yawn. 

“Woah, big yawn. I think we should get some rest,” you grin, thinking about how wonderful it will feel to finally get to rest in your boyfriend’s arms. You’ve missed his sleep-talking and long limbs more than you would ever tell him; he can be such a tease about these kinds of things. 

His shoulders slump as he smiles goofily, “Sleep is good.” 

You flick off your slippers and watch as they hit the wall with a little thud.

“Hey, that’s not nice.” he sighs, wrapping his arms around you and resting the majority of his weight on your shoulders. “This is our home; we should love it, not hit it with bunny slippers.”

“Sorry, wall,” you apologize with mock sincerity and try to drag both you and Tooru to the bedroom. Your side of the bed is a mess of sheets and pillows while Tooru’s is still partially made; you haven’t had the heart to move anything since he left, replacing his form with body pillows and heated blankets that don’t do him justice.

You both flop down onto the firm mattress, too tired to do anything else. Sleep is on the menu tonight, and you are starved. 

Burrowing into the sheets, you enjoy the cold sensation of silk against your skin. “Feel’s good,” he murmurs into the pillow holding out his arms for you to join him.

“You’ve missed it that much?” you ask. “We have only lived here for a few months; does it already feel like home?”

“Not it’s you.” his breath is hot against your neck. “When you are with me, anywhere can feel like home. You know, it’s funny, but I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since I left.”

“Me too,” you admit, enjoying the sensation of being used as his personal body pillow. “It’s not the same without you.” You twist around to start getting into your favorite sleeping position. 

Now facing him, you see his eyelids beginning to droop; keeping them open must be so difficult for him. “Promise me that if I have to go away for that long, you’ll come with me.”

“I promise,” you mumble, ignoring your pillow entirely and resting your head on his chest. 

“I love you so much,” he breathes, reaching up to kiss the top of your head, “Thank you for being my home.”

[sugar-petals]

can you give us more thoughts about domestic yoongles? the taemin's one (wich I love) just made me miss the cat boy so much ;o;

i have a phd in househusband yoongi so let me fire out some ideas for ya.

myg at home headcanon

🐱 word count. 1.9k | fluff, slice of life, slight nsfw mentions, x reader, bullet points

The doorbell sound is a recording of Yoongi imitating a doorbell. He’s such a meme. Ceci n'est pas une pipe.

Seemingly, he teaches himself a new recipe every week. To perfection. Yoongi is very particular about sticking to the recipe and wielding his kitchen tools in the right way. He collects knives, olive oil, and still hates cutting onions.

He separates sleep time, work time, and couple time as the holy trinity. For each, he switches his mood.

Blushes easily no matter for how long you’ve been together.

Establishes his own radio show where he DJs at one point.

Yoongi keeps an extreme track on the garbage schedule. He knows exactly what is due when. Separating the trash is a must. That includes sorting out fake friends trying to get between your relationship. Your social circle as a couple is extremely deliberate.

Yoongi deems himself a terrible host for guests. Unless Hoseok is there to drag him out, it's true he rather stays in the kitchen or at the barbecue preparing the menu courses rather than making small talk. He leaves the hospitality bits to you, however you want to go about it.

What he lacks in conversing with guests, he makes up in bed, God is absolutely fair.

He sings and hums pretty often and has his own vernacular of extraterrestrial uwu noises. It's an alphabet that you have to yet decipher but it's incredibly cute.

Self-made paintings everywhere around his house. 

Yoongi hasn't gone clubbing since grammar school. The most he does is going to a restaurant at lunch with very close friends. And always in a work context. His private life is so secluded from everything else and paparazzi just don't spot him anywhere, Dispatch thinks he must live abroad.

Very well, he does consider his big ole house a separate country. It's a living organism with a studio, gym, trophy room, small-size basketball court, and vastly equipped kitchen. A home theater as well, he likes American movies (like Inception) and Korean action genres, and you can stream whatever you fancy in there whenever you like. 

Yes, he has underwear with cute little bears on.

There's even a little pond in the backyard. Yoongi, Pisces he is, likes fishes after all. Sometimes he sits at the edge of the 'Little Ole Min Lake (LOML)' and stares into the water for literal hours with his chin parked on his palm.

His fridge is so high-tech and futuristic, even Yoongi is rendered clueless by its AI sometimes. The washing machine, too.

Yoongi watches RuPaul’s drag race. What did you expect? He finds it so humorous.

Owns lord knows how many comic collections.

Favorite holiday destination: New York.

Christmas is basically 50% you unveiling new music equipment to him in the garage and Yoongi almost fainting at the sexiness of it. The other 50% is spent holding hands and orgasm after orgasm until the new year since you loose track of time.

Goes on long rants why he’d marry you again every weekend.

Making you presents is his specialty. Always accompanied with a hand-written note. He writes a lot of things by hand for you in general. Texting, basically never. Always on paper.

No sex without a blanket and socks on. Yoongi gets cold very very easily and just doesn’t like showing skin. You buy him a heated blanket for his birthday, he even uses it in his studio chair.

Chronically addicted to making out.

Matching black outfits and glasses.

Laughs at even your worst jokes or phrases you didn’t expect you even uttered.

Yoongi owns the phoniest, most secretive-looking black car ever and nobody knows about it. Even he forgets he owns it, in fact he genuinely acts like it just doesn’t exist. Hilarious. And that guy has a level 1 Korean driver's license. Which allows him to drive trailers and busses and fucking trucks, and construction machines, let that sink in.

It's really a genius curse. Yoongi being put to the test will always deliver but he won't choose to execute his full skillset if he doesn't have to. Well, pragmatic. He's not as phony as he thinks he is, which is even more hilarious.

He uses that behemoth of a car so scarcely because he'd rather have things delivered to his doorstep and he's stingy with gas. Also, he doesn't like traffic and driving because of the traumatic shoulder accident and his tendency to space out. Translation: You drive that thing... that monster... it really is an impressive, fast, and scary machine. 

If someone devious ever even remotely manages to invade his privacy and get past the doubly-installed security system, he has enough money to deal with it no matter what.

If it concerns your privacy, he's a red belt. And owns Jin's number if a taekwondo master is required. Jimin's if it needs someone with kendo skills.

If Yoongi needs someone to go on a complete rampage, Jungkook lives just down the block. He can sprint to Yoongi's bunker I mean mansion within 45 seconds. 30 if it's very urgent. 20 if the reward is an instant ramen splurge with Yoongi's black card.

He has a sexy, glamorous sword collection hanging on the living room wall anyways, so. Who the hell is dumb enough to mess with him and his expensive lawyer in the first place.

But just in case, who knows... Yoongi settles matters shruggingly, anonymously, and with cash and he's too exhausted for violence, but don't underestimate his deter-min-ation and network for emergencies. Also, he is Agust D after all.

He will bonk a naughty burglar or kidnapper across the head with a wooden cooking spoon or take him down by throwing a basketball if the situation requires it. Damn, his reflexes are so fast, a feral cat in motion. So, lean back and sip on your drink of choice. Things are cared for.

If Yoongi is the one being kidnapped or a highly skilled stalker invades the property at night when he's fast asleep (nothing can wake this man during certain hours, strong REM right here): Don't forget that honeyboy is a Dodgers fan. There are signed baseball bats everywhere in this damn house.

In that sense, your parents visiting you here for the first time thought you were an undercover thug couple. Not to worry mom and dad, you both just like sports very much okay.

Yoongi walks around in all black clothes and the rooms are all seemingly dark. Even if you live together, you don't know his skin care routine. It's clear to you he's some sort of vampire.

Since Yoongi always forgets to remove his makeup, you made it a habit to wipe it down when he's about to pass out. He won't lie, he enjoys that kind of affection.

Holly is your resident child. You're essentially a family.

He insists to tackle this by himself, Yoongi sees his therapist monthly. Not shifting responsibility is something he's stubborn about and he pours his emotions into writing. You will do conversation about deeper stuff, but he says it's mostly up to him and his own mind. He dislikes burdening you or opening up too much and it's something to respect rather than force him about. If he wants to share a thought, he will. It doesn’t mean he can’t trust you or sucks at communicating (we know that he’s direct). Yoongi simply can’t put that much pain in such few words nor should you alleviate it for him.

Calls from the manager faze Yoongi as much as Jimin is bothered by gravity. If he’s busy kissing your body slow mo, who the hell dares to disturb his worship. 

This man had so many let-downs and interpersonal catastrophes in his life, he's super discerning with people. Because he rolls that way, during their first meeting Yoongi uses his psychology certificate on your friends. You see him squint at them, he listens very closely. After they pass the vibe check aka meow radar, he befriends them, too.

Yoongi doodles Grammy trophies everywhere to manifest them.

Yoongi shaves his legs.

All the sex toys he’s ever bought are black. Gotta vibe in style.

He spends ridiculous amounts of time in the studio but he's yours for the remainder of the night, breakfast, and he makes a lavish lunch and dinner.

Um, consider his head parked between your legs. The Hongkong line was not a joke.

Doesn’t mind you squishing his cheeks whenever and for how long you like. 

Every other weekend he gets flowers, vouchers, and gifts — not because of fans, they don’t know where his house is, but because he donates so much.

Namjoon often drops by and cleanses the area with his crystals.

Yoongi is a photography major so you can ask him to take professional, ceiling-high black and white shots of you.

Feeding each other food lovingly. Man, this guy got lips.

He set up a library just for you, in the exact historical aesthetic you like the most. Send him the link to any book you want, it's basically in the online shopping cart already. As I said, he wants to make you presents like every week.

Sometimes he sits on the other end studying English videos and vocab while you read. And yes, he's already 95% fluent but pretends being merely intermediate. He knows technical terms even native speakers have never heard of.

He collects pajamas and earrings.

Swears on the phone.

Namjoon being the horniest member is a cover-up story. Yoongi masturbates almost unreasonable amounts of times, by himself and in your arms when going to bed. Not gonna lie, it’s a sight to see his hands at work. He’s almost equally obsessed with fingering you once you ask him.

Yoongi was the one asking you to move in and almost had a nervous meltdown before meeting up with you to tell you just that. 

He’s the little spoon and of course a sleeping burrito to hold tight.

Finds you equally attractive in any state or styling. Yoongi practices what he preaches, he always reacts the same and says the same. 

Jams out to outrageous beats Namjoon sends him by dancing in the studio. You walk in on him every time. Was embarrassed at first, now you dance along.

Has bought you a life-sized Yoongi pillow and customized you a giant Shooky to hug when he’s not at home over night.

Owned a wine cellar until he quit drinking. Turned it into a piano room instead.

Only you know Yoongi has a serpent and dagger tattoo.

Scrubs the bathroom religiously.

The house smells like restaurant food and his extravagant perfumes half of the time.

Sometimes he has to remind himself he’s married to you and not his coffee machine. He shall be forgiven. You can’t complain that he doesn’t love you enough, nor is he ever not adorable when drinking his latte.

Never wears short sleeves. It can be scorching and he’ll wear a jacket. 

Tell him and the cap stays on during sex.

He grows his hair out and puts it in a low bun. The bangs remain.

Yoongi has installed the most fire-proof building in the entire city it seems. That he wanted to be a firefighter when he was young definitely shows. Figures the house has to be protected from heat: His blasting studio music and Yoongi himself are just way too sizzling.

Still melts into a puddle when you kiss his nose.

Couple sunrise watching. 

© submissive-bangtan 2017-2021. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate. all depictions fictional.

[omgjasminesimone]

Happiest Place on Earth

Logan x MC (Ellie)

Summary: Logan and Ellie go to Disneyland.

Now with Epilogue

Word count: 2500

Ellie lounges in her childhood bed, already dressed in her sleep shorts and tank top despite the fact that it’s only 8 pm. She’s currently unemployed, so her sleep schedule is a little off. Ellie really wishes she could land a job. Being out of her father’s house for four years and then returning to discover he still treats her like a child makes her wish she could afford to pay rent and move. Ellie lets out an impatient sigh as she continues to wait for her Grubhub order to finally arrive. Sure, LA is notorious for its terrible traffic, but this wait is ridiculous! She regrets pre-tipping the driver in the app.

The doorbell rings. “Finally.” Ellie mutters to herself, quickly running down the stairs and flinging the door open. She freezes, eyes widening as she takes him in, just casually standing on her father’s door step.

Logan smiles sheepishly. “Hey troublemaker.”

Ellie wants to simultaneously kiss him and slap him, but she’s rooted to her spot. It’s been over 4 years since she’s heard a word from him, since he ran after promising her he was done running.

Ellie crosses her arms over her chest, feeling defensive as she drinks in his manlier frame, the light stubble on his chin, the weariness in his eyes. “What are you doing here Logan?” Ellie questions.

Logan shoves his hands in his jean pockets. “I wanted to see you.” He replies softly.

“You wanted to see me?” Ellie asks incredulously, tears welling in her eyes. “You left me Logan! You ran and stayed away for years without even so much as a letter to tell me you were okay! I loved you so much, I would have run with you if you just asked.” Ellie whimpers, wiping furiously at the tears streaming down her cheeks.

Logan takes her face in his hands and wipes her tears away with his calloused thumbs. “You had to go to school, get back on the right path. And I didn’t run. I would never run from you.” He reveals.

Ellie looks up at him with watery eyes. “What?” She questions.

Logan smiles sadly, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip. “I turned myself in Ellie.” He explains. “I served my time. I just got out two days ago. I’m in a halfway house now, it’s an anti-recidivism program I got into because of my good behavior when I was in jail. They hook you up with a job with a company run by a former felon, someone who gets it.” Logan adds.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have visited you, I would have written you letters every day. I would have waited for you Logan.” Ellie insists, burying her face into his chest and hugging his waist as she pictures him all alone in jail while she was out enjoying college.

His arms encircle her shoulders, returning her embrace. “I know troublemaker, that’s why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to imprison you too.” Logan responds. “But now I’m out, and you’re done with school, and if you’ll have me, I’d like to start fresh.” Logan offers sheepishly, loosening his hold so he can look down at her. “Assuming you’re not seeing anybody. I checked your Facebook, and it said you were single. I don’t know if that’s current though…” Logan trails off.

Ellie lets him sweat for a moment before answering his question. “You’re in luck. I recently broke up with my ex-boyfriend. He said he didn’t want to do long distance after graduation, even though he got a job in San Diego. I guess 120 miles is too much to overcome.”

“He’s an idiot to let you go. If you give me another chance, I’ll love you the way you deserve.” Logan says reverently.

“And no more secrets? You promise this time?” Ellie prompts.

“Secretly turning myself in is the last secret, I swear.” Logan responds, feeling encouraged when he starts to lean down to her lips and she doesn’t pull away.

Ellie closes the distance, pushing herself onto her tiptoes and weaving her fingers through his now shorter, but still long, hair. Both their mouths open and their tongues tangle together as he grips her waist, hauling her completely against him. It’s like all the time they’ve spent apart melts away as they kiss. He left an imprint on her, and now, back in his arms, she finally feels whole again.

Logan pulls away when he needs to breathe, but he can’t stay away for long, pressing a quick peck to her kiss swollen lips. “Is your dad home?” He questions, hands slipping under her tank top and trailing over the soft skin of her lower back.

“He’s working a night shift.” Ellie replies, watching the glint that appears in Logan’s eyes when he realizes they have the place to themselves.

Logan steps into the house, making sure to lock the door behind him before gathering Ellie into his arms and hurrying up to her room.

30 minutes later, Ellie’s food finally arrives. But she’s a little preoccupied, so the delivery driver leaves it on the porch.

…

..

6 months later

 “I thought you said the lines wouldn’t be bad in February Ellie.” Logan complains, leaning against the railing as they continue to wait to board Space Mountain.

“This isn’t bad at all. In the summer, these lines can be up to 3 hours.” Ellie responds, and then she tries to soothe his slight irritation by looping her arms around his neck, leaning up to kiss him softly “I promise you it will be worth it. I wouldn’t lead you wrong on your very first trip to Disneyland.”

Ellie had insisted on getting them tickets for his birthday after finding out he had never been. Logan had tried to convince her that the money would be better spend saving up for rent for when they got an apartment together, but his girlfriend was undeterred. He only has 3 more months until he can leave the halfway house, no more curfew, no more parole, he’ll be truly free. Ellie got a job a few months ago, working as a consultant. She doesn’t love it, but it pays pretty well. Her income coupled with what he makes as a mechanic means they can afford a one bedroom in a LA suburb. To Logan, it feels like things are finally starting to fall into place.

Logan smiles when Ellie breaks the kiss, pulling her back in for another more passionate one. Ellie pulls away after a few seconds. “Watch the PDA. There are children present.” Ellie gestures to the little girl waiting in line in front of them with her mother. The little girl’s attention is firmly on the pair of them as her mother seems to be busy on the phone. Logan smiles at her and the girl blushes and looks away.

“No, that’s not what I told him. I don’t know where he got that price point, it’s way too low, it’s not going to work.” The stressed out mother mutters into the phone, massaging her temples. “I’m aware of that Charles.” She spits out, pressing her cell phone more firmly to her ear in an attempt to drown out the loud sounds of the theme park. “What? I can’t hear you. Wait, one second.” The mother turns to Ellie and Logan. “I hate to have to ask this, but can you keep an eye on her for a few minutes while I take this call? You guys look like a wholesome couple.” The mother pleads.

Ellie nods. “Of course, we’ll take good care of her.”

The mother offers an appreciative smile at the young pair before she hurries off. Ellie turns to Logan. “Did you hear that? Wholesome! We should report that back to your parole officer.” She whispers, smirking at him.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been called wholesome before. Forget my parole officer, we need to tell your dad.” Logan retorts quietly. Detective Wheeler still isn’t a fan of Logan. He’s spent quite a bit of time trying to talk Ellie out of moving in with him, to no avail.

“I bet it’s our matching Disneyland sweatshirts and the ears giving off the wholesome vibe. Isn’t that well worth the $150 you had to spend, since you insisted on buying mine for me?”

Logan winces slightly as he remembers seeing that ridiculously high number come up on the gift store cash register. “That was a little steep for the apparel, but if it makes you happy it was worth it. Your happiness is priceless.” Logan’s charm comes through, as always.

Elle grins at him, giving him a chaste kiss. Normally, a sweet comment like that would have earned him a steamy make out session, but they’re in the middle of babysitting.

Ellie squats down to the little girl’s level. “Hi, I’m Ellie. And he’s Logan.” Logan offers a wave when Ellie points at him.

The girl smiles at them.  “Hi, I’m Katie.” She says shyly.

“So Katie, what’s your favorite ride?” Ellie asks.

Katie grins. “It’s A Small World. What’s your’s?”

“I can’t possibly pick just one, that’s like asking me to pick a favorite child. I love Disneyland in general.” Ellie answers.

“What’s your favorite?” Katie directs her question at Logan, who rubs behind his neck sheepishly.

“Well, so far I’ve been on the Pirates of the Caribbean one and It’s a Small World, so the Pirates one I guess.”

Katie’s jaw drops. “This is your first time at Disneyland? But you’re old!”

“22 – I mean 23” Logan corrects when he remembers that he is in fact 23 today “isn’t that old.” He says somewhat defensively, but he’s just playing at being offended. He crouches down next to Ellie to be eye level with Katie. “How old are you?” He asks.

Katie puts up 5 fingers triumphantly.

“Have you started school yet?” Ellie asks, and Katie nods excitedly. “What’s your favorite part?”

Katie has a lot to say on the subject, and the conversation flows until her mother returns. “Thank you.” She mouths at the pair as she and Katie turn away from the pair to continue waiting.

Ellie turns back to Logan, trying to decipher what the look he’s giving her means. “What?” She finally asks when she realizes she has no idea why he’s looking at her like that.

“You’re going to be a really great mom when we have babies.” He comments, pulling her into his arms.

Ellie loops her arms around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “When? Not if? You’re awfully confident.” Ellie teases.

“I know that you love me, you’re not going anywhere.” Logan teases back, kissing the bridge of her nose. It tickles a little, causing Ellie’s nose to wrinkle. He smiles softly, allowing his eyes to close before capturing her lips this time.  

She pulls away slightly after a few moments, speaking against his lips. “How many kids will we have?” She asks.

“I don’t know, I think a lot though. Like, 8 or 9.” Logan answers.

Ellie steps back in surprise. “8 or 9? That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have to carry them around, or push them out.”

Logan smirks, gripping her hand and pulling her to him again. “Not all biologically our’s Ellie. I do want 2 or 3 biological kids though. I want them to look like you, and be smart like you.” Logan reveals, resting his head atop her’s as he hugs her to him.

He can feel her smile against his neck. “I hope they’re kind and brave like you. And I hope they get your hair.” Ellie responds, tangling her hands in his soft locks. He’s growing it out again.

“Oh, they will. My hair genes are strong.” Logan teases, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.

Ellie looks up at him. “So what about the other 6 or 7 kids? Adopted?” Ellie asks.

“I was thinking fostered, actually. So it’s not like we’d have 9 kids in the house at one time. That would be a lot. I was placed in homes with 8 other kids sometimes, and it definitely wasn’t ideal. I think we’d be great foster parents, and there are a lot of bad ones out there, trust me on that one.” Logan reminisces on his own childhood in foster care, and Ellie squeezes him comfortingly.

“How does foster care work? If they wanted to stay permanently, could we adopt them?” Ellie questions.

“Well, the hope is always that their parents get their stuff together and reunite with their kid, but that doesn’t always happen. So in that case, we could adopt them out of foster care.” Logan answers.

“This is important to you, isn’t it?” Ellie asks.

“Yeah, it is. I want to give a foster child the kind of loving home environment that I wanted.” Logan replies.

“Then I’m 100% on board. Although we have a lot of steps to go before we start seriously considering kids. We have to move in together first, make sure we don’t actually hate each other.”

“I could never hate you. I love every single thing about you Ellie Wheeler. You think I would wear these stupid Mickey Mouse ears for just anyone?”

Ellie laughs, leaning in to kiss him. “I love you too.” She promises between increasingly passionate kisses. As they kiss, Ellie starts to envision the future he’s painted. Their future family. Family trips to Disneyland. Tears prickle at the back of her eyes with the knowledge of how much she wants that with him, how much she loves him.

Ellie pulls away from him. “Let’s get out of here for a little bit. I want to be alone.” She says suggestively.

Logan gestures to Space Mountain, they’re almost to the front of the line now. “I thought you wanted to ride this.”

“I’d rather ride you.” She whispers in his ear, delighting in the way he shivers at her words.

Logan grips her hand, leading her out of the line and to his car with the dark tinted back windows.

…

..

.

An hour later, the two lay cuddled up in the backseat of Logan’s Devore GT, their clothes scattered all over the car. “You ready to go back in there?” Logan asks, idly tracing patterns over Ellie’s ribcage.

Ellie gently runs her thumb over the smudged stamp on his hand to allow them re-entry to the park. “I want to stay here for just a little bit longer.” She answers.

Logan kisses her forehead. “No complaints here.”

They lay in contented silence for a few moments before Ellie breaks the quiet. “You know, it’s funny you skipped marriage talk and went straight to kids.” She comments, gazing into his eyes.

Logan arches an eyebrow. “I thought marriage was implied. Let me clarify for you, I do in fact want to marry you Ellie Wheeler.”

Ellie blushes despite herself at hearing him admit that so earnestly. “I want to marry you too.” She returns, kissing him softly. “But don’t think that that counts as a proposal Logan. I want the whole thing, big public romantic gesture and all.”

“Like a Disneyland proposal?” Logan questions softly, smirking when she looks at him with wide eyes.

taglist:  @choicesarehard @ifyouseekheart @brightpinkpeppercorn @regina-and-happiness @drakexnadira @flyawayboo @fairydustandsarcasm @alesana45 @umiumichan @maxwellsquidsuit @lahelable @god-save-the-keen @mrsmckenziesworld @paisleylovergirl @iplaydrake @sinclaire-made-me-sin @hazah @lovehugsandcandy @desiree-0816 @cora-nova @justdani14 @lady-dianelewis @emceesynonymroll @emichelle @badchoicesposts @client-327 @riverrune @liamzigmichael4ever @princessstellaris @mrskaneko 

[itsgonnabe-brian-may]

Thank God for New York

// Requested: no

Director!Joe Mazzello x Director!reader

wc: 3k

warnings: none

//

After the whirlwind of awards season, the amount of downtime Joe had significantly increased. He made a youtube channel for christ sake. Sure he still did auditions and table reads at least once a week, but he was itching for more. Being on such a big production as Bohemian Rhapsody with direction problems sparked his interest in directing another film even more. He had told his agent that a few months ago, but nothing really came up. Until now. 

You had been directing a biographical type of film for a couple of months and needed some help. Honestly, you needed a lot of help. It wasn't because you weren't good at your job or lacked the skillset to do it. You were deemed one of the best up and coming directors in the industry. Especially for documentaries. However this film wasn't your original idea, it was a project you picked up because a friend had asked you to take over so that they could deal with personal things. You weren't one to say no, plus you loved a challenge. The only thing was you knew nothing about growing up in New York. You had moved to New York a few years ago in order to pursue filming, and LA wasn't quite your speed. So when there was talk of a native New Yorker wanting to help out you were ecstatic. 

A few days later you connected with Joe's agent asking if he was still interested in directing. It wasn't full creative control but the second pair of eyes and hands would be greatly appreciated.

You chewed on your lip as you waited to hear back from his agent. To your luck, Joe was easy to reach and said yes immediately.  

Your phone rang in the middle of a scene, letting it go to voicemail was customary but you were desperate and picked up anyways. 

Hello? 

Hi, is this Y/N L/N

This is her. Who is this? 

Hi, I'm Joe Mazzello, you and my agent talked on the phone about the assistant director position on your documentary. 

Oh! Hi! I'm so glad you called. The position is yours if you want it, I've gotta say I'm kinda desperate here. You laughed running a hand through your hair. 

Well, I'd love to give you a hand! When do you want me? 

Honestly now, but that probably isn't possible. Why don't we meet tomorrow on location? I'll text you the address and a time? 

Sounds perfect, I'll make sure to bring my directors cap. He teased 

Oh, even better. See you tomorrow!

Yup, Bye. 

Bye. 

One the line went dead you leaned back into your chair with a happy sigh. 

"Alright, Cut!! That's a wrap for today. On location tomorrow at 8:00!" You called and the cast and crew dispersed for the night. 

Picking up your phone again you created a new contact for Joe and opened a new message. 

Hey. Here's the address: Cast and Crew call is at 8 and if you can show up a little earlier that would be perfect. Looking forward to meeting you! - Y/N 

Within a few short minutes, your phone buzzed with a response. 

Sounds good. I'll bring the coffee :) - Joe

You laughed and went to your trailer, getting ready for the next couple of nights to be spent in a hotel.

Joe arrived back at his apartment from an audition with a smile on his face. The same one that was plastered on his face when his agent called telling him that you, Y/N, wanted his help. He had seen your latest movie, on a date actually, and loved it immensely. The girl he was with didn't and it ended a few days later, but the fact that he was getting to work with you made up for his ended relationship. He packed a suitcase, making sure to pack the cheesy baseball cap with the words Director embroidered in white on the front, just to tease you. 

Both of you slept terribly. Anxiety and excitement kept you both tossing and turning. Joe got up earlier than planned but got ready and threw his suitcase in his trunk and set off. Without traffic, the drive was around 2 hours, which wasn't bad at all. He arrived just before 7:30, giving him time to pick up coffee and muffins before meeting you. 

You sat on a park table with a notebook on your lap with all of your notes. The pen in your hand tapping the page gently as you read through today's schedule. 

"Y/N?" Joe asked hesitantly looking around, only seeing you. 

You instantly looked up with a smile. 

"Joe!" you said jumping off the table and walking over to him.

The handshake turned into a hug. You both exchanged the usual "I love your work" before sitting down and talking business.  

The first few scenes Joe just watched and made small notes about your directing style. The more he watched the more he noticed it was a lot like his. You were very hands-on and instructive, but down to earth about it, you rarely yelled, unless something was going terribly wrong.

After you finished shooting the latest scene, you told Joe that its time to put that director's cap on because it was his turn. 

Joe laughed and pulled the cap from his back pocket and donned it with a smirk. You couldn't help but throw your head back with laughter. As Joe directed the next scene you noticed the exact same things he did. You came to the conclusion that you were going to work well together. 

And that's exactly what happened over the next couple of weeks. You had become quite close. Spending every spare second together, endless teasing, brainstorming, cracking jokes and just messing around. 

Joe had certainly become quite the prankster on set, becoming close with the leading man. A lot of times they messed with you. Filling your trailer with balloons, switching the nameplates, pulling out your chair from under you, or replacing your black pens with sparkly pink ones. You made sure to write all notes and criticism's for them with the pink pen. 

As the months dragged on, the weather got colder and wetter. Often times it was raining, which was helpful to get consistent scenes, but the looming thunderstorms created a threat that pushed time limits onto your shooting days. Finally, you had finished the scene perfectly. 

"That's a wrap for today!" Joe yelled out in a megaphone he insisted on having even though the cast and crew numbers never exceeded 20 people. 

"Is that really necessary Joe?" You laughed

"Of course it is" Joe proclaimed through the megaphone again, aiming it at your face. 

Your laugh bubbled past your lips as you pushed the megaphone from your face. A mischevious smirk replaced the smile. 

"Can I see that," You innocently asked. 

"Why?" He laughed into the megaphone. 

"Come on Joe," You pleaded. 

"Fine, don't break it," 

"Mhm sure," You laughed pulling it from your co-directors grip. 

As soon as it was in your possession you jumped off your chair and ran out into the street, not stopping because of the pouring rain. 

"Hey!" He called after you, jumping up to follow, but not leaving the comfort of the dry tent. 

"If you want it back you'll have to come and get it," you teased into the megaphone. 

"Nah, you can have it," Joe shrugged nonchalantly. 

"Okay, well I hope you don't mind that I spill your deepest darkest secrets over a megaphone," You teased quirking a brow at him, inviting him to play along. 

"You wouldn't dare," he said matching your facial expression. 

"Whatever you say Mr. I tell girls I'm 6ft when I'm actually 5ft 9" you smirked

"Hey! Stop it!" Joe laughed 

"Should I tell the world that you have Red Sox boxers--" 

"Nooo!" Joe said running out and trying to grab the megaphone from you. 

You laughed swinging the megaphone out of reach. 

"That's not even true!" Joe argued, trying to maintain a serious face, but failing. 

"The world doesn't know it's true," You laughed back. 

"This is no laughing matter, I could be hung for such crimes here," Joe quipped. 

"I guess I'll have to prepare something nice to say at your hanging," you teased back. 

Eventually, you both ended up laughing your asses off in the rain, tossing empty threats back and forth. A loud crack of thunder followed by a flash of lightning shut them both up. Looking up at the sky, the rain pounded on their faces.

"I guess that's our cue to get out of the rain," Y/N laughed. 

"I guess so," Joe laughed as they started walking back to their trailers. 

Their trailers were conveniently next to each other. Yet, they spent most of their time in Joes trailer together. Of course, Y/N always argued that it was because he had the best snacks. Which was definitely true, but not the only reason she hung out in his trailer, or sometimes even fell asleep on the couch. It was almost like a significant others apartment. She had her own cabinet instead of a drawer where she kept a change of clothes, makeup wipes, and a toothbrush. Though, neither of them thought about it like that. They just thought it was efficient and something friends did.

You were dragged out of your thoughts as the megaphone was ripped from your hands and Joe tried to quickly run up the steps inside his trailer. 

"Joe!" You called out after him, barging into his trailer. 

He put the megaphone on the top shelf in the kitchen where he could barely reach and you most certainly couldn't reach without moving a chair to stand on. 

"I guess I'll just take a quick nap," You fake yawned wandering over to his unmade bed, threatening to lay down in your clothes still dripping wet from the rain. 

"Ah, No you won't," Joe said grabbing onto your waist pulling you back and away from his bed. 

Your breath hitched, you hoped Joe didn't notice, but if he did, he didn't say anything. 

He pulled open a drawer and tossed a knit sweater at you and then grabbed the leggings you had left over and threw them at you too. 

"Change, then maybe it can be nap time," He laughed and pulled off his wet long sleeve and put on another sweater. He couldn't help it but his eyes lingered over your shoulders as you faced away pulling on his sweater. The second it was over your head your nose filled with the familiar scent of him. It was oddly comforting. 

After you finished changing out of your wet clothing you decided to put on a movie, one that you both hadn't seen yet and make some dinner before calling it a night. 

"I can't believe we're almost done with filming," You yawned slumping down further into the couch. 

"I know, it's gone by so fast," Joe added looking over at you with a small smile on his face. 

"I'm glad you joined, it's been such a huge help, even if you're annoying sometimes," You teased. 

Joe just laughed and wrapped his arm around your shoulder pulling you close to his chest. 

You inhaled his sent and sighed happily. You both stopped paying attention to the movie, your eyelids falling heavy. 

The next morning you woke up wrapped in his arms. Groaning you shifted slightly so you could look at your watch. It was 7:45. Shooting started at 8 today, meaning it was, unfortunately, time to get up. 

"Joe, come on, wake up. You don't want to be late for the last day of shooting do you?" You said gently trying to wake him. 

He groaned pushing you away slightly. 

"What time is it?" He asked, his voice still heavy with sleep. 

"7:45," you responded pulling yourself off the couch.

You put a pot of coffee on, knowing the smell would wake him up. As the coffee brewed you did your hair, applied a few layers of mascara, ran some neutral lipstick over your lips and pulled on a pair of jeans. Keeping Joes sweater on. 

"Okay, okay. I'm up," Joe groaned sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

"Mhmm, here, now you'll really be up," You hummed handing him a cup of coffee. 

"God you're the best," He praised with a happy smile after taking a sip. 

"I know, now get your ass in some jeans. Filming starts in 10," you laughed taking your own mug of coffee and walking out of his trailer. 

5 minutes later, a much more awake Joe joined you. 

"Nice sweater," he teased as he joined you behind the camera. 

"Agreed," you smiled into the sweater. 

Unfortunately, today there weren't many shenanigans on set. Everyone tried their hardest to get the last few scenes done, with as little retakes as possible. Sure filming was fun and all, but after 3 and a half months of filming, everyone was tired and ready to go home. Even you and Joe. 

Once the final 

"That's a wrap!" 

was called by both you and Joe, the actors got out of makeup, the whole cast made their way down to a bar downtown in celebration. There were drinks, toasts, thanks, and even a cake with the movies name written in sparkly pink frosting. Tipsy Joe found that quite funny. 

You and Joe stayed throughout the entire party, but by the end of it, you were both quite done. 

With a warm embrace, you parted ways for the first time in a while.

However, you both made sure not to lose touch.  Texting almost every day, coffee 'dates' at least once a month, movie marathons in person or over face time, and of course late night phone calls with full updates on each other's lives. You had even begun to meet each other's friends and families. Rumors of a relationship sent both of you into fits of laughter, even though secretly you both wished they were true. You guys were practically a couple, minus the fact that you didn't live together and weren't intimate. Though you were quite touchy when you saw each other.

The next time you saw everyone from the cast and crew all in one place again was at the premiere. Your guys' family and friends were there. Gwil, his fiance, Rami, Lucy, and Ben were there too.  Yet, you and Joe spent most of the evening together. Especially the red carpet. You were wearing a gorgeous light gray lace dress that Joe coordinated his tie to. Joe couldn't keep his hands to himself, or his compliments. The phrase "You look so stunning" slipped through his lips at least 10 times that night. 

Then it came time for the actual screening. You and Joe stood in the front corner holding a microphone after everyone had reached their seats. 

"I'd like to thank everyone for coming, this film has been in the making since July of last year and has taken the combined effort of all of the amazing cast and crew to make it work as well as it did. I'm thankful to have had this opportunity to share this story with the world, so I'm letting you guys see it first, because if it sucks then I don't have to release it. Remember, I know each and every one of you by name so don't go talking shit to the press." You teased in your introduction speech. 

"I'd also like to extend a thank you to the megaphone holder and resident new yorker for being such a wonderful co-director, even if you drove me crazy. Anyways, enjoy!" You proclaimed as the lights dimmed and the introduction music began rolling.

You and Joe found your way to your seats, his hand intertwined with yours. Both of you watched the movie intently as if you had never seen it before, even though you both have seen the full thing at least twice. 

"God, we did so well," Joe murmured into your ear as the last few scenes came on screen. 

"Couldn't have done it without you, Joe, seriously. Thank God for New York," You laughed quietly turning to face him. 

"Amen," He breathed his gaze catching your lips, just before he leaned in and caught your lips with his. 

At first, you were taken aback but after a second you melted into his grip, the end credit music joining in at the perfect time, it was almost as if you were in a movie of your own. 

You pulled away as the crowd went wild, standing up and facing you with their applause. Joe bowed comedically and pointed to you. You took after and copied his bow giggling.

The after party was crazy, there was even more booze, celebrities, and deserts. Most importantly there was a dance floor. And of course, you found Joe and his friendy tipsily busting a move. Usually, you would've been too shy to join, but the champagne and adrenaline pushed you to jump in the group. 

"Y/N!" Joe smiled grabbing your hands and dancing with you for a while. The music shifted from upbeat to chill a few times as the night progressed. Joe and you had stayed for most of it, currently, you were swaying to The Weeknd, Joe's hands on your hips, and yours on his shoulders. 

"Move in with me," Joe stated abruptly. 

"What?" You asked incredulously. 

"I'm serious, move in with me," He said again. 

"We're not even dating Joe," 

"Okay, be my girlfriend, and move in with me," He smiled widely. 

"Seriously Joe?" you asked.  

"Seriously Y/N," 

Instead of responding you leaned in, kissing him gently, smiling against his lips. This time it wasn't in a dark theater, but in public, your family and friends watching, hell probably the whole world too, but you didn't care. All you could think to say was Thank God for New York. 

[rhnuzlocke]

Chapter Six: Can You Hear the Music?

Rustboro was a dense little city but lacked the skyscrapers of a metropolis like Kogane. Even with all the traffic and bustle, the streets felt wide and comfortable to Ren. There was something almost charmingly quaint about the downtown. Perhaps it was the varied stone facades and carved pokemon adoring the top edge of every building. Or maybe it was the profuse rooftop gardens and street trees full of Beautifly, Dustox, and Taillow.

Ren and Kai walked through the busy streets with their pokemon around them. Jay was now a Combusken, and Tāraki bounded excitedly by her side, burbling away, while Māia flitted above them both, twittering into any pauses in the conversation. A few people gave them looks for having so many pokemon out—most people had only one—but Ren ignored them, steps bouncing from heel to toe while Kai smiled shyly at her.

“Are you sure about treating us?”

“Of course! Your first badge deserves some celebration! Especially after a match like that! I can’t believe you picked the Rock Gym first. You’re braver than I thought!”

“It was just because I have to survey Mt. Rose. I have my whole route worked out and I have to stick to the schedule to get every location I picked. I only want to take one gap year before college.”

“I’m still impressed, dude. It’s so cool that you know what you want to study and everything already. And taking the Gym Challenge on top of that? I couldn’t do it.”

“You have a full team already!”

“Only because I’m a sap.”

Kai took a few bigger steps to catch up. “I know your dad is a Gym Leader,” he persisted, “but it’s supposed to take months to build up that kind of stamina.”

“What can I say? I run hot.” Run shrugged. “But if we could back up to that badge match, you and Jay pulled off a mid-battle evolution! That’s so rare!”

They found a native restaurant with an open patio and claimed a table. Jay sat down gingerly in one of the chairs and carefully slid her tail through a hole at the back. Tāraki hopped up to stand in another empty seat, while Panahi and Māia landed on the table. Māia puffed herself up and chirped at Jay, who clucked back, fiddling with her long claws on the table. Kai stifled a chuckle.

Ren chuckled too. “You can battle Jay next time we have a match, I promise.”

“Hell yeah!” Māia crowed. Ren stared at her, not quite believing it.

“Oh, can you understand her already?” Kai asked.

“Not until just now!” Ren squealed. “Shiawasedaaaaaaaaaaaa! Kimi no himitsu wa kyousou-ryoku o kanjiru kotodesu!”

Māia puffed up again with joy and Ren grinned for a moment before clearing her throat awkwardly when she realized she had slipped into Kantogo. Thankfully, a waitress came to her rescue and handed them menus.

“We serve pokemon dishes here if your teams are hungry,” she informed them before leaving them to make their selections.

“That’s so cool!” Ren exclaimed, looking it over. “Do you all want anything?”

“Well, what do they have?” asked Panahi.

“There are a few pokebean-based dishes, but you’ve all basically been eating that as chow since we left. There’s mushrooms and some vegetables.” Panahi stuck out her tongue in disgust. “There’s a nectar drink.” Tāraki gasped and started bouncing up and down in his chair, hands pressed to the table. Ren laughed at him. “As if you need the sugar! But I’ll order you one.” He crowed in delight. “They have some meat options too. Oh, braised Magikarp!”

“Yes please, Honey!” cried Panahi, and Māia nodded.

“Akahana?” Ren asked.

“Never had it,” Akahana mumbled, not lifting her head off her paws.

“Oh it’s a treat! You’ll love it!” Panahi crooned down at her, and Akahana grunted what could be construed as an affirmative.

“I’ll have a little,” Iki piped from under Ren’s chair.

“Shroomish wants berries,” Akahana added in response to her new teammate’s clicking.

“Done!”

They put in their order, and Tāraki continued to bounce in place from sheer anticipation.

“You never really introduced me to the newbies,” said Kai.

“Right! Well this ace battler of a Taillow is Māia.” The tiny bird stood her very tallest on the tabletop, flashing her red chest in Kai’s direction. “And I actually don’t have a name for this clever creature yet.” She gestured down to the Shroomish. “I’ve just been calling her Aragekikurage. It’s a mushroom,” she explained when Kai looked confused. “I don’t know if it grows here, and it doesn’t actually look much like her. It’s just the same brown as her underneath. It’s not even a cap—more wrinkly and it feels like velvet.”

Kai thought about it for a few seconds. “Oh! we have that! It’s called a wood ear!”

“Pfff! I see it.”

“The Hoenni name is hakeka, I think.”

“I like that much better! Thanks, Kai.”

His cheeks reddened. “No problem.”

“Right! That reminds me! I didn’t tell you before because I didn’t want to distract you from your match, but I have another little present for you.” She pulled out her nav and slid it over to him. He took it, looking adorably puzzled, then his mouth fell open, and his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. Ren smiled fondly at him, her own jaw propped up on one hand in a way that failed to conceal a self-satisfied smirk.

“There must be at least ten variants.” He was breathless. “Holy—holy shit.”

“I marked the location for you~”

Kai’s eyes went glassy, and Ren couldn’t hold back a laugh anymore. He reddened and buried his face in his napkin, which made Panahi snicker behind a wing.

“I went a little overboard, didn’t I?”

You were nervous.  

“I guess… Yeah, I was. I think an even younger me would have been fine on my own, just me and my team, but after… everything, I missed my friends. I missed people— more than I was willing to admit to myself.”

Kai was still a bit red and could barely even thank the waitress when she returned with their cart of food. Tāraki sipped his nectar through a straw, eyes closed in absolute bliss, and Jay seemed nearly as pleased with her taro and Wurmple hash browns. Akahana took a rather delicate first bite of her Magikarp but was wolfing it down seconds later.

“So, I’ve been thinking,” said Ren in her best attempt at nonchalance. “Since we’re both traveling now, maybe we could do it together?” Kai nearly choked on his boil-up. “We don’t have to! I know you have all your stuff going on. I just thought… Well, it was really nice having you to show me around.”

Ren glanced away in embarrassment, and it was her turn to blush all the way to the tips of her ears. When she forced herself to look back up, Kai was staring at his plate, and the motion of his shoulders indicated he was wringing his hands under the table. Ren’s gut gave a horrible lurch, but before she could make herself say anything, Kai started.

“It’s a good idea!” he blurted.

Ren’s face settled into a huge toothy grin, and a terrible weight lifted off her shoulders. Kai finally looked up at her and sagged in relief, matching her smile with a far more tentative one.

Panahi shuffled her wings, looking immensely satisfied, and probably not entirely from the meal she had just finished. Ren was about to shoot her a glare when she noticed a private little smirk on Jay’s face as well that made her think Kai finally finding his voice was probably her doing somehow.

Ren resolved to thank Jay later—but not now. She didn’t want to push her luck.

“Great! Then we’ll do it.”

...

The next day Ren and Kai headed out east on Route 116 towards the picturesque Mt. Rose. It was the sort of Mountain range one might find in a fanciful painting and was all the more breathtaking in reality. Ren kept finding herself craning her neck back to look at the peak, though that was more due to proximity than sheer height.

Akahana went abruptly still ahead of them and picked up her ears.

“Something’s not right,” she murmured.

Everyone else stopped to listen, and after nearly a minute of straining at silence, the wind changed, and Ren finally heard faint wailing that grew louder and more instant.

“What is that?”

“Hunting,” said Akahana.

Then another sound, low and lilting, almost like music, drifted over it.

“Is that singing?” Ren wondered.

“It’s pokemon, not human,” Akahana answered

“Let’s check it out!” Tāraki cheered and bounded off.

Jay took off after him, followed swiftly by Māia and Panahi. Ren shook her head before leading the rest of them. Akahana walked tall and stiffly, ruff raised all along her back and Iki stayed close behind her.

As they approached the singing became more distinct and musical but wordless, while the growling and wailing faded altogether. Finally they found half a dozen Cloaked Poochyena asleep on the ground around a stately old tree. A fluffy Skitty sat on one of the branches, singing clearly and gently, and Ren began to feel a bit drowsy. Fortunately, the song drew to a close, and the Skitty slipped easily back down out of the tree with the grace of regular practice. It gave a low, dramatic bow to its slumbering audience and sighed.

Ren whistled, and it looked up at them all in surprise. Rather than being intimidated by their number, it smiled and trilled a sweet greeting at them. Kai already had his dex out.

“Looks like an Angora variant, but they aren’t wild.”

“Those Poochyena are out cold. That’s one powerful Sing,” said Ren. “Hello Skitty! That was pretty cool. Do you only sing lullabies or do you put on other performances as well?”

Akahana stepped up to translate, and the Skitty looked very pleased indeed by the interest and complement. It sauntered over to answer and settled its plume-like tail primly over its paws.

“He says he mostly only sings lullabies to avoid being eaten, but that’s more or less a full-time job. He prefers singing dance tunes but he’s happy to take requests.”

“That’s nice of him. And I’m sure Kai wants an interview. But maybe we should move this somewhere else?”

They all retreated a ways and found a clearing to have lunch in. Kai and Jay talked to the Skitty while the others ate. Tāraki, Hakeka, and Māia finished quickly and wanted to train, so Ren had the plant-types work together while Māia tried out some aerial maneuvers on her own.

Akahana listened passively to the various goings on, head on her paws and one eye closed. But as soon as the interview was over, the Skitty sauntered over to her, and Akahana raised her head to talk with him. Ren watched more curiously the longer their conversation went on. It was rare to get more than a few laconic remarks from Akahana. And for having nearly been eaten by a pack of Poochyena earlier, the Skitty’s posture was easy and confident beside her. He even leaned in and crooned now and again, a cheeky grin on his face, which Akahana tolerated with her usual stoicism.

Finally, Panahi called him over for something to eat, and he went with dip of his head and friendly brush of his tail. Ren went to sit by Akahana.

“Anything interesting?”

“He was born out here. His father was a pet, his mother was wild. He says it’s tough because his fur isn’t really suited for the weather. He goes into the city sometimes but hasn’t had much luck there… And he’s a flirt.”

“Oooh?” said Ren with a barely suppressed grin.

Akahana snorted. “Not my type.”

“Only other dark-types or—”

Suddenly a commotion erupted from where Tāraki and Hakeka had been practicing.

“What does it even matter anyway?” Tāraki yelled. “I’m still a better battler than you even without my ‘strongest move’! You’re just jealous!”

Hakeka railed something back at him, and Ren was already running over. “Whoa! Break it up! What happened?”

“She started it!” Tāraki shrilled. “She always—”

“Don’t give me that!” Ren cut him off sternly. “Just tell me what happened as straightforwardly as possible. You know I can’t understand her that well yet, so I’m trusting you to be as fair as possible.”

Tāraki grumbled and crossed his arms, taking a few breaths to calm himself down a little. “She got annoyed because I wasn’t doing well. She said I was lazy and stupid for not working as much on my special moves as on my physical ones.” He took another breath and muttered, “and I called her jealous for not being as good a battler as me.”

“Well, first of all, she is definitely not jealous. You know that right? If she has a problem with you, it’s for something else.” Tāraki nodded, tail still twitching in agitation. “And she does have a point, even if she should have said it more kindly. All of the strongest moves in your pool are special attacks, so if you really want to be a battler, it’s worth it to work on them—especially if you want to fight in this Gym.” He accepted this without objection but looked far from happy, and Ren turned her attention to Hakeka. “That being said, we are a team and we should all treat each other with respect. Special attacks are more difficult for Tāraki than they are for you, and you shouldn’t put him down for something he can’t control. Understood?” Hakeka nodded. “Good.”

Hakeka left, and Tāraki lay down on the ground, looking tired and dejected.

“What’s the matter, Shima?”

“She said I wasn’t trying, but I do. It’s not just that I don’t like special moves. I can’t focus on them. It makes my head hurt. I just… can’t.”

Ren laid a hand gently on his back. “You know that’s okay, right?”

“But—”

“It makes things harder, but there’s nothing wrong with you, okay?”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. That’s normal. And we’re partners. I’m your trainer. I’m here to help you. If special moves are really that difficult for you, we’ll find a way to make them easier. And we’ll find a way for you to battle that plays to your strengths. You don’t have to be like everyone else to be strong and cool, because you already are.”

Tāraki launched himself at Ren and hugged her tightly, and she squeezed him back just as hard. He rubbed his head against her collarbone, and she laughed at the affection.

Then a wail sounded from nearby followed by voices and caws of distress. Everyone stopped.

“Peeko! Give her back! Please!”

A moment later an old man stumbled past the edge of the clearing and tripped. Ren ran to him and carefully helped him up.

“Are you okay, sir?” Kai fretted.

“What’s going on?” said Ren.

“My Peeko, my darling Wingull! He took her!”

“Who—”

“Which way did he go?” Ren asked urgently.

“He’ll head for the tunnel. Only good escape route.”

Ren turned to go, but Kai caught her arm. “Wait!”

“He stole something from Devon, a briefcase. That’s why Peeko and I were confronting him. I’ll go with you.”

“No. Please just sit down, sir. I’ll get your pokemon.”

“But Ren—”

“I have more pokemon, and someone should stay with him. I’ll be careful, I promise.”

Kai wrung his hands for a moment, face twisted up with nerves. “Okay,” he said finally.

“Be right back!”

She took off, and her team followed, while Kai and Jay guided the old man to a rock to sit down on.

“Thank ye, lass!” he called after her.

It didn’t take long for Ren to find the route again and the tunnel under the mountain that it led to. The larger car entrance was blocked off, but the footpath looked open, and the lights were on. Just as she reached it, a horrible cacophony of sound struck her, stopping her dead. Ren clamped her hands over her ears and stepped to the side to escape the blast range.

“Whismur,” Akahata growled, ears pinned to her head. “And Loudred,” she added as a deep throbbing bass hummed up through their feet. “Tons of them.”

“I’ve never heard an Uproar like this,” Panahi whined, head between her wings.

“Shit shit shit!” Ren yelled, barely audible. “We can take one guy but not a whole army of wilds.”

It was then Ren noticed that the Skitty had followed them. The sound from the tunnel grew louder again before tapering off, and he mewed.

“He says he might be able to calm them,” said Panahi. “Apparently he sings for them sometimes.”

“Please. You can name your price afterward.”

The Skitty nodded and puffed out his chest before stepping in front of the tunnel as another swell of sound bloomed out of it. He projected his voice in a way that defied all probability, one clear note cutting through the disorienting chaos until it split and softened. Then he began his lullaby.

Ren withdrew her team before they could be ensnared and covered her ears, following behind as the Skitty walked calmly forward into the underground. It wasn’t enough to block him out completely but it did keep her from getting too drowsy. The Whismur faded to almost nothing for a while, but then there was a yell and the glimmer of what might have been Water Gun ahead of them, and the Whismur voices swelled again.

Ren and the Skitty raced forward, and he sang as loud as he could until suddenly nothing came out. Ren looked and saw that his mouth was still open and his ribs still heaving, and she was baffled for a moment until she realized the Whismur must be canceling him.

The whole tunnel began to resonate, and Ren had to stop as the ground became unstable. Then the rock around them cracked like thunder, and the ceiling above them trembled and fractured. She sent out Akahana.

“Get the Skitty out of here!”

She looked Ren in the eyes for a moment, then grabbed the Skitty by his scruff and ran back towards the entrance. Ren sent out Tāraki, and they ran deeper in. The figure was just ahead of them now, struggling with a Wingull.

Stones began to fall all around them, most of them small but increasing in size as the rock groaned and crackled. As they closed on the thief, she realized he was the same gangly teen from the woods with his red hoodie and Brown Poochyena. The Wingull wrested her beak free as he stared at the shaking rocks all around him and blasted him in the face with Water Gun. Spluttering, he lost his grip, and the Wingull soared over their heads straight for the entrance. As Ren’s eyes followed, she noticed the ceiling buckling.

“Look out!” yelled Tāraki, and she withdrew him.

The teen had followed her gaze and fumbled for his own pokeball.

“MOVE!” Ren bellowed, charging towards him.

But he didn’t. Instead he just stared at the rocks about to crush him as his pokemon flowed safely back into her ball.

Ren tackled him, and they went skidding back across the floor. She landed on top of him, hands on his chest, face almost hitting his shoulder, as a cascade of rocks fell with a shaking rumble. They both remained still for a moment, eyes squeezed shut, waiting for it to be over.

Nothing hit them.

They cracked their eyes open, and she released her death grip on his hoodie. It was darker. The ceiling lights must have gone out—been destroyed—but the emergency lights along the floor were still working, casting everything in a soft, warm glow.

The thief looked up at her, eyes like saucers until something above her caught his attention. Before she could turn her head, He grabbed her around the shoulders with one arm and threw up the other. She flinched as a rock struck his arm just above her head and rolled off onto the floor with a thunk. It was larger than his fist.

“Ow,” he said, and his arm fell across her back. He let out a long breath, and his head lolled, but she could hear his heart thundering through his chest. Everything else was quiet. Then he finally seemed to register that Ren was on top of him, that he was holding her there, and he threw his arms off.

Ren glared down at him as she pushed herself up.

“I’m sorry!—I mean, thank you!—I mean—” he stammered and then covered his face to stop himself. “Oh, fuck.”

Ren stepped off, but stayed looming over him and scowled. “That’s more like it. Believe it or not, I didn’t come in here to save your pathetic ass from being crushed by rocks.” He sat up. “R-r-right. Yeah… B-but, um, th-thanks anyway.”

“You just stole an old man’s Wingull and nearly got us killed! I don’t want your fucking gratitude!”

He nodded sheepishly and got to his feet.

“Give me the Devon package!” she demanded, and her eyes bored angrily into him as he turned and picked the silver briefcase off the floor behind him, arms trembling.

Ren only glanced to make sure it looked right before snatching it from him. She glared at him as he wiped his face and patted the dust off his uniform. For a moment, Ren thought he split his lip, but she soon realized it was a scar, much like his nose had healed slightly crooked. He made to touch the back of his head, which must have hit the floor when they fell, but he stopped, sucking in breath, and clutched at his injured arm. He had rather intricate black tattoo sleeves that were difficult to make out against his brown skin in the dim of the emergency lights. The trembling was probably mostly adrenaline, but he was soaking wet, and his cropped hair was matted up with dust.

“Just go,” she told him.

He looked at her. “What?”

“I’m not gonna keep you here or drag you in. Just tell me your name, and you can go.”

“You’ll t-tell the p-p-police and get m-me arrested.”

“No I won’t. I have six pokemon with me to help haul you in if that was what I wanted.”

“B-b-b-b—” He couldn’t get it out and swallowed before trying again. “Why?”

“So I know what to call you.”

He opened his mouth, then closed it again, chewing over several different things while she waited. “It’s J-Josh,” he said finally, “Josh Takamoana.”

“Alright Josh, I hope we never see each other again but I have a feeling we will. You better hurry. All that noise is bound to draw some attention.”

He gave her one last lingering glance before turning and stumbling towards the other side. Ren watched him until he disappeared. Then something at her waist gave a tug. Red light sprang from one of her pokeballs and formed into Tāraki.

“Are you okay? You scared me!”

“Yeah. Sorry, Shima. I’m okay.”

He climbed up her and looked at the rubble all around them. She turned back to the way they had come. It was dim, and there were a lot of rocks to climb over, but she could see daylight beyond.

“What happened?” Tāraki asked as they started to pick their way through.

“I saved that guy from getting squished and got the Devon thing back but I let him go.”

“Why?”

“Just a feeling.”

And what feeling was that?  

“Pity mostly. He was younger than me—still just a kid really—and already so beaten and desperate.”

Very sentimental.  

“I didn’t feel right punishing him any more, especially not when he banged up his arm protecting me.”

And what else? What did you see?  

“I don’t… Even then, when he saw that rock coming down, his first instinct was to shield my head and not his.”

You saw someone like you.  

“I suppose I did.”

They stumbled out of the tunnel, and Ren’s eyes had barely adjusted to the light when something bumped into her and nearly knocked her off her feet.

“You’re okay!” Kai exclaimed and held her tight just to be sure “We heard the sound, and I was worried so we ran over, but then the tunnel collapsed, and I thought you were dead!”

She felt a trembling and squeezed him back. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“You’re shaking,” he said into her ear. He was right.

“Oh. It’s just the adrenaline. Don’t worry.”

Ren disentangled herself and saw the old man was standing there, cuddling with his Wingull. Akahata even wagged her tail a little when Ren looked down at her. The Skitty walked up and put a paw on her foot, mewing sweetly.

“He’s glad you’re okay. Also he’s been saying that he owes me for saving his life and wants to come with us so he can pay me back somehow.”

Ren’s smile turned to a frown. “I promised him but I don’t have a slot left. I’d have to leave one of you with Otōsan…” She sat down on the ground so she didn’t have to stand on her unsteady legs as she thought about it. “Kai, how would you feel about adding the Skitty to your team?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t mind. Jay?”

She nodded.

“We’re traveling together, so this way you’ll still get to see Akahana. Is that okay?” The explanation was satisfactory, and he happily went into Kai’s offered pokeball.

Kai sent him right back out, and he weaved through Kai’s legs and settled on Ren’s lap, purring loudly. His vibrations seemed to calm her own, and she pet his soft fur.

Then a Whismur hopped out of the cave and cautiously approached them. It was rather large and light gray in color with yellow markings. It called out to them with a surprisingly deep voice for its size and the Skitty answered.

“Uh, so the Whismur heard the Skitty try to stop the Uproar,” Kai said as they went back and forth, and Jay twittered a translation. “And he’s heard him sing before and always liked his voice. So he wanted to thank him. And now with the tunnel collapsed and everything else. He wants to know if I’d be willing to take him too.”

“Well are you?”

“Yeah. A Bass Whismur would be perfect.”

As he got out another ball, the old man approached with the Wingull on his shoulder.

“Thank ye so much, lass. Can I know your name?”

“It’s Kosugi,” she answered and offered her hand to shake.

“Oh, this is Captain Briney,” said Kai.

“You saved my dear Peeko. If there is ever anything we can do for you, please let us know. We have a good boat, so if you ever want to get to any of the isles, we’ll be happy to take ya.”

“That’s very kind of you. I’m sure I’ll take you up on it at some point.”

“Do,” he said with another firm shake.

Kai sent his new Whismur back out, which made Ren realize the rest of her team was still in their balls, and she released them.

They had barely finished the introductions and explanations when the Rustboro police arrived.

“I didn’t tell them about Josh's scar or his nose or his tattoos or anything else useful. I said it was too dark, and I didn’t actually catch him, that he dropped the briefcase in the panic. I couldn’t have told anyone why I did it at the time.”

But you understand now?  

“Yes. I do.”

[smochiis]

dress me up, buttercup I three (m)

✩ pairing : hoseok x reader

✩ genre: idol+stylist!au, drama, humor, angst

✩ warning: face sitting, fem dom, dirty talk

✩ word count: 8.1k

✩ summary: There are nearly 1,000 reasons why mixing work and romance is a terrible idea. Unfortunately, Jung Hoseok makes it very hard for you to resist.

✩ chapters: one | two | three | four

✩ a/n: this was really just an excuse to write whiny, needy hobi….. (゜▽゜;)

The first few weeks of your relationship are spent learning each other. If you thought you knew everything about Hoseok before, you were mistaken – there are so many things about him that you didn’t know or didn’t notice. For example, his constant need to shower because he hates being sweaty, the fact that he tends to get just a little grumpy when other men look at you, and the almost invisible freckle on his upper lip that begs for you to kiss it.

You also learn that besides his “oppa kink” – which he swears he doesn’t have – he really, really likes to eat you out. And that surprises you because none of your previous boyfriends enjoyed it that much. Sure they did it, but it was more to reciprocate than it was because they genuinely liked it.

Then again, you know you shouldn’t be surprised considering how often Hoseok’s out there wagging his tongue on stage.

You feel like you’re constantly learning new things about him. Each day brings a new surprise, a gift.

It’s your willingness to embrace this that allows the two of you to settle into your relationship with comfort. But it’s also because you have strict rules about leaving work at work and home at home. At work, he’s an idol and you’re his wardrobe stylist. At home, you’re an ordinary couple who watch bad movies and quarrel over how much butter to put in the popcorn.

And as an inevitable result, your relationship is turned into something discreet. You don’t really intend for it to happen, but you and Hoseok both agree that it’s probably better this way.

Because, your other worries aside, you have no doubt that it would be frowned upon, maybe even cost you your job. And the last thing you want to do is create more waves with management. Or the media. God, if Hoseok’s fans were to find out he’s dating a staff member…

Not only would it damage the group’s image, you’d likely need a bodyguard of your own.

You know Hoseok, and all the boys really, love their fans. But he’s told you plenty a horror story about the especially entitled ones and how frightening they can be. Mean comments online, you can handle. Death threats and physical violence, though? Probably not. And if there’s one thing Hoseok isn’t willing to risk, it’s your safety.

Still, sometimes he just can’t help himself. He steals kisses when no one’s looking, plays with your fingers, rubs your shoulders when you’re stressed.

You’re not perfect either – sometimes you just have to kiss his cheek right before a performance. Looking at him all dressed up in outfits that you pull does something to you, makes you willing to take risks. And the possibility of being caught is tantalizing, an added thrill you never thought you’d enjoy.

And for a while, everything is perfect.

But unfortunately an idol’s career is 95 percent work and five percent rest. Which means that your career is 95 percent work and five percent rest. Your book grows at an exponential rate, over half of the photos being Hoseok.

You worry that you might be a little biased. Just a little.

The days and the schedules get longer and harder. Variety shows, interviews, award shows, flights out of the country, guest appearances, fan meetings, flights back into the country, online mini-episodes… Back to back to back to back. There’s seemingly no end. And on the rare chance that the two of you both have spare time, you’re spending it with each other instead of resting.

Though Hoseok has fallen asleep on you more than once. And while you try not to let it bother you, because you understand he’s even busier than you, the irritation begins to simmer when it happens time after time…after time…

You’d like to say that your relationship is relatively unaffected by it all. But, if you’re being honest, the combination of little sleep, over-working, and next to no personal time leaves the two of you high-strung and snippy. You bicker over silly things, like which direction the toilet paper should face, but thankfully you manage to hold fast to the golden rule: leave work at work and home at home.

Until the day the both of you reach your breaking point.

Hoseok is running on maybe two hours of sleep and a chocolate-glazed donut. You’re not doing much better but at least you’ve had a couple coffees, though you’re beginning to think that drinking them on an empty stomach isn’t good for your temper.

The day started with Jimin sleeping well past his alarm, thus making the boys very late, and as a consequence they got stuck in early-commuter traffic. Once they finally arrived on set, Namjoon accidentally knocked over one of the very expensive cameras, Taehyung almost broke his finger, and Jungkook ripped his pants right up the thigh by simply squatting. And if that isn’t enough, one of the makeup artists smashed her vial of liquid foundation, Jin’s manager cracked his phone all to hell, and the set director almost wiped out on a puddle of spilled coffee.

Nothing seems to be going right for anybody, not just you and Hoseok. Only one person seems unaffected, bright and smiley, and you chalk it up to his being an intern – he’s still fresh and crisp.

Hojun was brought on only a month ago but he fits right in with the rest of the staff. He’s especially taken a liking to you, following you around and asking questions. You figure it’s because you’re the one closest to his age and so you take it upon yourself to mentor him where you can.

And you won’t lie, he’s been very helpful during the schedule from hell.

He fetches you coffee after coffee, brings you snacks, and even runs back to the dressing room when you need to switch something at the last minute. Like now, as you observe the tiny, almost invisible stain on Hoseok’s shirtsleeve.

“Hobi,” you grumble, “I thought I told you to be careful.”

“I was,” he protests.

“Obviously not.” You hold his own arm up to his eyes so he can see the stain. “I’m glad you got something to eat but this shirt is worth more than my paycheck. And it’s dry-clean only.” Glancing over your shoulder, you catch the intern’s eye. “Hojun, there’s another shirt back in the dressing room. Second garment sleeve on the right. Could you go grab it for me?”

He beams, glad to be given something to do. “No problem, noona.”

As he leaves, you turn back to Hoseok. “Take this off so I can put it with the other dry-clean only stuff.”

But he isn’t even looking at you. He’s staring at the intern’s back as he hurries to the dressing room. “How long is he going to be here?” he asks.

“Hojun? Another two months.” You tug on Hoseok’s shirt. “Off.”

“I don’t like him,” he grumbles, but begins unbuttoning his shirt. You just snort. And Hoseok takes that as a sign to explain himself. “He follows you around everywhere. Noona, noona, noona. Like a puppy. Or an annoying little kid.”

He’s jealous, you realize. And while usually that would just amuse you, you’re too tired to deal with it today.

“You used to do that too, you know,” you say, lifting a brow.

He just scowls. “He’s an intern, it’s different. And he’s not even really your intern, is he?”

“No.” You shake your head as Hoseok hands you the ruined shirt. “Technically, he’s the team leader’s intern. But we all use him where we can because we need another set of hands. He’s useful.”

“Funny, I never see him with the other stylists.” Hoseok’s tone is dark and speculative and you don’t like it one bit. He might not be implying anything yet, but it’s clear in his eyes what he thinks about this situation.

Your lips purse as you stare at him. “Maybe it’s because I’m comfortable to be around. It wasn’t too long ago that I was an intern myself so I remember what it’s like and he appreciates that. Now could you drop it?” You don’t intend for your voice to come out in a snap, but it does.

“Fine,” Hoseok snaps back.

And you naively think that’s the end of it. Hojun returns moments later with the garment sleeve in one hand and his phone in the other, nodding furiously at the voice on the other end of the line.

“Of course,” he says with the barest hint of fear which tells you he’s speaking to Soojung, the team leader. “I’ll be there in just a second.” He tries to hang up the phone and hand you the garment bag at the same time and winds up dropping both in his hastiness.

You bend over and grab them, handing him back his phone. “You’d better get going. She gets angry when she’s kept waiting,” you warn with a grin.

Hojun just nods, well aware, but he flashes a matching grin. “Thanks, noona.”

When he practically sprints away, you find yourself chuckling. Because you remember doing the same exact thing. It’s weird to think that almost four years have passed since then, even weirder to think that you’ve been working as Hoseok’s personal wardrobe stylist for nearly two of those years.

You never intended to stay this long…

Hoseok is strangely very still as you bring out the new shirt and hand it to him. Usually he shifts his weight from foot to foot and begs you to help him get dressed, shamelessly abusing his “cute factor”. But now he just shrugs on the shirt himself, quickly does up the buttons, and rolls the cuffs. You have barely enough time to make a last-minute inspection before he heads to the filming site.

And it’s only after he’s long gone that you realize he didn’t speak a word to you that whole time.

 You half expect Hoseok to cancel your dinner plans. But you receive no text or call that says otherwise so you busy yourself that night making fish with beans and rice. It’s not extravagant by any means, but it’s tasty and easy to make. And, quite frankly, you think you deserve an award for even attempting to make dinner instead of just ordering out.

You’ve just put a couple fish fillets on the saute pan to steam when you hear your door open. Hoseok joins you in the kitchenette moments later, leaning against the frame.

He doesn’t say anything as you boil the beans and then put them on top of the rice. Or when you plate the fish and sit down at the table.

All you get is a mumbled, “Thank you,” before he begins to eat.

You figure he’s probably still sore about earlier. But the fact that he showed up to dinner means that he’s not too angry, you think. And the food is tasty, which makes up for the lack of conversation.

Halfway through dinner, your phone buzzes.

It’s a text from your old college friend, Jenny, the one who helped you get hired. Every once in a while, she checks up on you, asks how you’re handling everything and how the boys are doing. She’s been an excellent confident during the last few weeks because she understands exactly what you’re going through. Opening it, you’re greeted with a picture. Her chubby-faced baby, dressed in a pink tutu and matching headband, is propped up next to a small chalkboard that reads Promoted to Big Sister!

The warm smile on your face feels so nice after frowning all day. Quickly, you text your friend back with many congratulations and an appropriate amount of emojis, wondering what kind of gift you should send her. At least she’s having a great day, you think with a smile as you go back to eating.

That smile quickly drops when Hoseok scoffs, “Who’s that from? Hojun?”

“What?” You really hope he’s joking but when you look across the table, it’s clear he’s not. “What on earth makes you think I’m texting Hojun?”

He pushes a piece of fish around on his plate, runs his tongue over his teeth. “The kid’s practically attached to your hip. Every time I turn around, he’s asking you for something. He can’t go five minutes without talking to his noona.” Hoseok twists the word like it’s something foul.

“He’s an intern,” you say, grinding your jaw, putting down your chopsticks. “Of course he’s going to ask me questions. Why are you being like this?”

“Why?” he echoes, blowing out an incredulous laugh. “Have you seen the way he looks at you? Seriously, Y/N, you can’t be that blind.”

The jealousy is sharp in his tone and, tired and exhausted as you are, your anger flares. Along with your disbelief. Because, Hojun? Really?

“You think he likes me?” You can’t hold in your scoff, letting Hoseok know how outlandish it is. You brace your elbow on the table and fix him with a hard look as you count off on your fingers. “First of all, I highly doubt that. Second of all, even if he did, what can I do about it? I can’t stop someone else’s feelings. And thirdly, it shouldn’t matter because I don’t have feelings for him.”

And that’s all that Hoseok really should care about, in your opinion. The only thing you can control is your own feelings. How can he expect you to control other people’s?

Hoseok’s jaw is flexing, his knuckles turning white. “But you encourage him.”

“When have I ever?” You gape.

“All the time!” Suddenly he’s standing, throwing his hands out. “You let him call you noona, and follow you around. You even let him buy you coffee and donuts.” His eyes, usually bright and warm, are cold and exhausted as they glare at you. “And just today he dropped his phone on accident, of course his noona picked it up for him and flashed her ass right in his face.”

Your jaw drops in amazement. That’s what this is over? Because you picked up Hojun’s phone?

“Are you serious, Hoseok?” you say, fury bubbling under your skin. You push yourself out of your seat and level your gaze. “I can’t be nice to someone without you going into jealous Hulk-mode?”

“You can’t be nice to a kid who’s got feelings for you,” he growls.

And something inside you snaps.

“Okay, that’s it. You’re being ridiculous.” You storm away from the dinner table, not sure where, exactly, you’re going. It isn’t like there’s a lot of space in your apartment. You just need to put some distance between you and Hoseok.

But he follows you.

“How am I being ridiculous?” he says seriously, coming up right behind you. “Most guys would be pissed if some kid was following their girlfriend around and she didn’t do anything about it.”

You spin around on your heel and peg Hoseok with your most menacing stare. “Are you even listening to yourself?” you hiss, pushing a finger into his chest. “Hojun is an intern, that’s it. You’re telling me you’re threatened by a kid because he calls me noona and brings me donuts on Fridays? You’re telling me who I can and can’t be nice to?” Fury drips from your every word.

He pauses, as if finally hearing you for the first time today. But he looks down at you with that glint in his eyes, his jaw locking, and you know he’s still not really listening.

“Are you honestly that insecure?” you growl. “If you’re going to be like this every time I smile at another man then you really need to do some self-reflecting. Now would be a good time to get started.” You gesture to the door.

You expect him to spit something back at you. And seeing the look on his face, you know he wants to. But instead, to your surprise, he storms over to the hallway and shoves his feet into his shoes, grabs his stuff, and throws open your front door.

He’s yanking it closed behind him before you can say anything.

Stunned, you stare at your door for a few moments. And as angry as you are, you’re even angrier that he left. Despite that you literally told him to go.

You expected him to stay, so you could try and work things out. But maybe, you think hazily, he doesn’t want to work this out.

For a few hours, you stew in your anger.

Hoseok must have lost his damn mind if he thinks that your intern-who’s-not-really-your-intern is any sort of competition. And the fact that he’s searching for competition at all just makes you angrier. You’re with him, you’re faithful, and that should be enough.

You don’t have time for men who act like pre-pubescent brats.

You throw away the leftovers of the forgotten meal and scrub the dishes until your hands are raw. And afterwards, you clean the living room. Even though there isn’t much to clean for once because you’ve hardly been home. You vent all your frustrations with the duster and the vacuum and only then, hours later, do you allow yourself a shower.

It’s there, under the hot water, that your anger ironically begins to cool.

Hoseok has been pushed to his limits lately and so have you. You haven’t slept a full night in weeks, nor been eating healthy, and you know the two of you just aren’t being yourselves as a result. But you also don’t want to make excuses for his behavior. He was wrong, and maybe you didn’t exactly handle it the right way, but wrong is wrong.

Still, as you crawl into bed, you can’t help but worry. He hasn’t called or texted you. You have no idea if he even made it back to the dorms okay and you contemplate calling him to check.

“No,” you tell yourself.

Though you know you shouldn’t let pride dictate you, you refuse to contact him first. He has to be the one to come to you. Even though you really, really want to just check if he’s okay.

Worrying your bottom lip, you clutch your phone and try to fall asleep. Just in case he calls, you tell yourself. But you’re unsure if he will.

At some point you must have really fallen asleep. Because the next thing you know, the mattress dips and there are lips pressed to your sleep-warm neck. You stir awake at the familiar presence, dropping your phone and rubbing your eyes.

“Hobi?” Your voice is rough with sleep.

“Hey,” he whispers after a moment. “I came back. I didn’t want us to go to bed angry.”

Pushing yourself up, you blink at his familiar shape. And even though it’s dark, you can make out his slumped shoulders and the frown-wrinkles marring his face. He smells like outside, which means he didn’t go back to the dorms.

The fact that he’s here, with you, speaks volumes.

“I did some self-reflecting like you said. Took a walk in the park, which I haven’t done in years,” he begins hesitantly. “Maybe it was the air there, I don’t know, but I cleared my head…realized you’re right. I was being ridiculous. A jealous asshole.”

Hearing your own words, you suddenly feel slightly guilty. “Hobi…”

“No, no,” he holds up his hands with a sigh, “I was. I tried to control you.”

“We all say and do things we don’t really mean when we’re angry,” you tell him softly, scooting closer. He holds very still, like he’s afraid you’ll change your mind, but when you lean against his arm, he relaxes a little.

“Maybe. But that’s no excuse. That isn’t the kind of person I want to be.” His sigh is of pure exhaustion as he scrubs a hand over his face.

“I know.”

“I’m tired and I’ve been overworking myself for too long. We’ve barely had real time together. So when I saw this kid hanging around you, flirting with you… I got jealous,” he admits in a small voice. “I thought I could get over it but when you didn’t outright reject him, I snapped. And I know that’s not fair. And me being tired is no excuse either. I let my own insecurities get the better of me and I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You can tell that he’s thought about this a lot. Probably practiced this speech in his head on his way back to you. And you know it must pain him to say it aloud because you can feel his honest regret in each and every word.

Which prompts you to say, “I’m sorry, too.”

Hoseok glances at you in confusion.

“I should have taken your concerns more seriously instead of writing them off. Even if I didn’t agree with them,” you say as you search for one of his hands in the dark. You find and give it a gentle squeeze. “I said a lot of harsh things when I should have at least listened to you first. I hope you can forgive me.”

“I’m the one who should be asking for forgiveness here,” he says incredulously.

“Then let’s just agree to forgive each other,” you suggest, pressing into his side and holding his hand.

Now that he’s here with you, and you know he’s okay, you’re relieved. And more than anything, you want to kiss him. To reassure him and yourself.

“You know,” you whisper slowly, “they say the best way to make up after a fight is to kiss each other.”

“Oh, is that what they say?” Hoseok snorts. But, nonetheless, he tilts his head to the side so that your lips can meet.

You intend for it to be a short, sweet kiss. A symbolic ending to the feud. But the second his soft mouth is under yours, you’re reminded of exactly how long it’s been since the two of you have really kissed. The past month has been nothing but stolen kisses backstage and quick cheek-pecks after dinner. You just haven’t had time for anything more than that.

So without meaning to, it turns into a sweltering atonement. Your tongue is in his mouth and your hands are in his hair and you’re kissing Hoseok like you’ve been dying to for the past month.

He must feel it too, because he holds you tight and loves your mouth like he’s trying to make amends. Slow, easy, apologizing with each glide of his tongue and nip of his teeth.

Your insides are molten by the time you reluctantly part to breathe.

“You know,” he pants, thumb rubbing circles against your hip, “we may have apologized for being jerks. But I still haven’t apologized for trying to control you.”

“Mm…” You nuzzle into the side of his neck.

“I figure the best way to make up for that is to let you control me,” Hoseok whispers. “Eye for an eye.”

And the suggestion is so seductive, your interest piquing immediately, you can’t help but sit up a little bit straighter. “You think so?” Your voice is breathier than you thought.

“Mm.” He leans over, presses his mouth to your ear. “Tell me what to do, angel.”

You shiver, a thousand ideas coming to mind.

You’ve always been more than happy to let your partner take control in the bedroom, rarely doing so yourself. Not for lack of interest, more likely lack of motivation. And none of your past bedmates have ever blatantly told you to have your way with them. Hoseok is the first. And because it’s Hoseok, you’re confident.

Licking your lips, you say, “Take off your shirt.”

There’s a spark in his eyes as he immediately complies. He tosses his black sweatshirt onto the floor of your bedroom, leaving his chest exposed as he lays propped against your pillows. Golden skin, defined ridges, and firm muscle. Even muted by the darkness you know it’s all still there.

You flatten your palm against his chest, feel the strong beat of his heart. It seems to get even stronger as you touch him, sliding your hand down his sternum and to his abdomen before coming back up. Your fingers dance around the flat brown disc of his nipple and you grin when it turns into a hard nub before your eyes.

He’s excited by the idea of this and you can’t wait to play out one of your fantasies.

“Lay down,” you murmur.

Hoseok pushes himself lower on the bed so that he lays flat, your pillows in a mound behind his head. He stays still, arms limp by his sides, and stares at you while awaiting your instructions.

And when you hook your fingers in your pajama bottoms and slide them down your legs, you can see the glint of excitement in his eyes. He knows exactly what you’re thinking and without realizing, he begins to lick his lips.

Though you’ve always loved being eaten out, Hoseok was actually the one to bring up “face-sitting” not too long into your relationship. You couldn’t help but be intrigued by the idea of it and he promised to try it one day. Today seems to be the day and you’re admittedly much more turned on than you thought you would be.

You’re not too sure about the actual mechanics of it, though, so it will be a learning experience.

When your pajama bottoms and panties are gone and you’re left naked from the hips down, Hoseok groans. “God, angel, I can smell you from here. You’re already turned on, let me taste you,” he says.

Your automatic response is to comply, but you stop yourself with a raised brow. “I thought I was in charge here?”

Hoseok swallows, licks his lips again. “Please let me taste you?” he corrects.

And the sound of his voice, the way he says please, makes you shiver. It sounds so good. You’re tempted to give him whatever he wants, let him do whatever he wants, so long as he keeps saying please like that.

You’re surprised at how easy it is to gather your courage and place your knees on either side of Hoseok’s face. And while he must have a great view, you personally think yours is better. His naked torso gleams in the moonlight while he keeps his hands fisted at his sides. You’re tempted to touch him all over but you hold yourself back.

Because Hoseok starts leaving little kisses all over the insides of your thighs. Gentle, wistful touches here and there that make you shiver.

“More passionately,” you whisper.

He adds his tongue, laving your skin like he’s pretending it’s your mouth. His kisses are open-mouthed and hot, leaving behind spit and the slight scrape of his teeth. It isn’t long before your thighs are wet and it isn’t from your arousal, it’s all Hoseok.

“That’s good,” you praise, and you’re ashamed to admit that you’re already a little breathless. You reach back and curl your fingers in his hair as you lower yourself just a little. “Now my pussy. Kiss it.”

You’re slightly nervous about being so demanding. Worried about abusing this control. But Hoseok is completely relaxed and more than willing to play, which eases you.

His lips meet your slit without hesitation. Again, the kisses are small and light. Gentle touches against your flesh that is already wet. He licks a stripe down your slit before repeating, nibbling softly on your labia and kissing it. The only sounds in your bedroom are your breathing and Hoseok’s wet tongue as it works.

You swallow, resisting the urge to grind down into his face. “Tenderly. Like you mean it,” you tell him.

He presses his mouth further into your pussy, taking the sensitive folds into his mouth and sucking. His access is limited, though, so you slide one hand down your front and between your legs. You spread yourself open for him since he’s unable to do so himself, hands gripping the sheets.

His chin just barely brushes your clit with every movement of his jaw and you sigh. “Use your tongue.” You can feel the wet muscle digging through your folds, licking up your juices. You can also feel your vaginal muscles starting to protest at being so empty. “Now kiss,” you murmur, using your other hand to tug on Hoseok’s hair again.

He hums, trading his tongue for sweet kisses against your burning flesh. But then he goes right back to devouring you like he’s starving and you’re his first meal in four days. You’re practically dripping into his mouth by the time he works his tongue inside your hole.

But the penetration is too shallow.

“Deeper.” Your voice is perilously close to a whine and you try to get yourself back under control. You’re the one in charge here, you’re the one who has to keep their cool.

You lower your hips just a little more and Hoseok leans his neck up and his tongue pushes deeper inside you. And while he fucks you with his tongue, your fingers glide over your clit and your hips beging to swivel. Shamelessly, you grind against his mouth and chin and have to bite your bottom lip to keep from whimpering.

“That feels so good, Hobi.” You suck in a breath, concentrate on the feeling of his lips and tongue.

You’re honestly surprised at how good this feels. Though you were excited to try face-sitting, a part of you doubted it would go well. You’ve never been more happy to be wrong. The trick is simply confidence.

But, as you’re the sole one in charge, you cannot focus only on your own pleasure. You have to pay attention to Hoseok, too. Because he’s more than glad to get you off and ignore himself and you can’t have that.

So even though you don’t want to, you pull your hips away from Hoseok’s face. He lets you go with a gasp, chest heaving.

You lean forward and crawl a little lower down his body, your hands finding the waistband of his black sweats. And even in the dark, you can see the huge bulge inside. Everything inside you coils with excitement and your mouth waters.

Hoseok lifts his hips off the bed so you can push his sweatpants and boxers down to his mid-thigh. You don’t take them off completely, as that would require you to leave him.

You feel yourself get wetter when you set your gaze on his dick. It’s fully erect, flushed red and angry, the tip wet with pre-cum. Your hands smooth over Hoseok’s toned abs, fingers finding the trail of hair that leads to the base of his cock.

“This hard already?” you tease as you wrap your hand around him. “You like eating my pussy that much?”

“Yes,” Hoseok hisses, hips pushing into your hand. “You taste so good, angel. I’m so fucking hard.”

“Mm,” you hum and begin to stroke him nice and slow. Your thumb gathers the pre-cum from his slit and spreads it around, a natural lubricant. It still isn’t enough, though, so as you lower your mouth you say, “Fuck me with your tongue, Hobi.”

The noise he makes when you put the tip of him in your mouth is something like a low whine. He groans something afterwards, but the words are muffled by your folds as he returns to licking and sucking. Slowly, you suck more of him, your tongue laying flat against the underside of his cock.

“Fuck,” Hoseok grunts, you have no trouble hearing that. “Can I use my hands? I need to touch you.”

You let his dick slide out of your mouth, your hand pumping him. “You can use your hands.”

To be honest, you meant to tell him that earlier. But you sort of forgot, being too caught up in how well he fucks with his mouth.

You can feel the woosh of air as Hoseok’s hands fly to your waist, bringing you back against his mouth. He licks his way from your clit to your entrance, up and down, until you have to bite back your whimpers. He makes it so hard to focus on him but you’re determined as you suck the tip of his cock and run your fingertips along his inner thighs.

Inevitably, his hands find their way to your ass and start kneading. It’s like he can’t help himself, you think with a laugh.

But when his tongue starts to swirl around your clit, your walls clench around nothing and your laughter dies. “Fingers, Hobi,” you say, licking his cock from base to tip. “Use your fingers.”

As your own fingers begin to play with Hoseok’s balls, you can hear him sucking on his fingers. You doubt you need the extra lubrication, you’re already soaked, but the sound makes you groan around his cock. Hoseok rims your entrance with his fingers a few times before easing them inside.

They sink all the way in, till his knuckles are touching your plump lips. At the same time, you swallow as much of his cock as you can without gagging.

You feel so full. His cock in your mouth, fingers in your pussy, tongue on your clit – Hoseok is everywhere. And though you’re supposed to be the one in charge, you feel overwhelmed by his presence. If he keeps thrusting his fingers like that and sucking on your clit, you’ll come in no time.

You can already feel it.

“Fuck, Hobi,” you moan. You take him out of your mouth and rest your head on his thigh while your hands jerk him off, knead his balls. His dick is covered with your saliva which makes it easy and you squeeze him hard enough to make him choke. “Keep going.”

“Are you about to come? I can feel it,” Hoseok pants, scissoring his fingers and stretching you.

“Mhm.” Your eyes scrunch shut as you push your hips back against his face, seeking relief. “I’m gonna come all over your fingers and in your mouth. Would you like that?” you whisper, turning yourself on.

Hoseok’s groan vibrates through your pussy and you stutter. “God, yes. I want that,” he mumbles into your clit.

His fingers start working harder, pushing inside you fast and deep. He alternates between rubbing the flat of his tongue against your clit and sucking on it hard. With every move, he makes it harder for you to concentrate until it gets to the point that you can’t – all you can do is sloppily jerk him off and roll his balls between your fingers.

Your orgasm is fast approaching, your whole body tightening in response. And you kiss the sensitive crest just underneath the head of Hoseok’s cock and moan, “Just like that. Yes, Hobi, fuck.”

He sucks hard on your clit one last time and then you’re falling apart. It feels like you’ve lost control over your whole body as your walls squeeze around his fingers and pleasure runs through you in wave after wave. You’re left gasping, frozen, as he helps you through your orgasm with thrusting fingers and gentle kisses on your clit.

Your ears are ringing by the time his fingers slow. “You taste so good, angel. I could fuck you like this forever.” He presses his mouth to the inside of your thigh, smearing it with your release.

It takes you a minute to find your voice. “So you don’t want me to sit on your dick?” you ask teasingly after clearing your throat.

“I didn’t say that.” Hoseok’s voice is suddenly strained and his cock jumps in your hand, as if afraid you’ve forgotten about it.

“Mm…” You stroke him reverently, as if you’re thinking. “Do you want me to fuck you? You want your cock in my tight little pussy?” you murmur, surprising yourself. You’ve never been able to execute dirty talk like this without feeling ridiculous.

But there’s something about having Hoseok underneath you that makes it so hot. Knowing that he’s fully capable of throwing you under him and fucking you senseless, yet he’s choosing not to. Knowing that he’s willingly let you control every bit of this and how he experiences it. It’s empowering, but also humbling, because you realize how much he must trust you.

His fingers dig into your ass. “I definitely want that. Please, angel.”

“Good, because I want that too.” You leave his cock with a kiss, petting the insides of his thighs.

Then you lift your hips into the air and crawl off of Hoseok, kneeling next to him on the bed. You lean over, searching blindly in the dark for the drawer to your nightstand table. Finding it, you rummage around until your fingers brush over a familiar foil packet.

Hoseok began leaving a stash of condoms at your apartment a few days after his first “visit”. Unfortunately, it’s too risky for an idol to carry them around on his person. One of the other boys actually found himself in deep water a few years ago because of them, so the concern isn’t unwarranted. Besides, it’s not like you guys have sex anywhere else.

Ripping open the packet, you expertly roll the condom on Hoseok’s throbbing length, pinching the tip to give him a little room. Sitting there, you contemplate teasing him. But when you look at his face, you don’t think you can.

He’s flushed, eyes dark, biting his lip. He stares at you like he’s desperate for your touch, anything you’re willing to give him. His freshly-dyed hair is matted with sweat and clings to the sides of his face because he hasn’t been able to push it out of the way, and your eyes catch the way the column of his throat works as he swallows.

He looks like he’s about to beg for relief.

And you don’t know why that turns you on but your insides throb as you straddle his hips. Reaching beneath yourself, you prop up his cock as you sink down.

“Oh, my god,” Hoseok moans, kicking his head back and exposing his throat.

You’re so wet from his mouth and your previous orgasm that he slides right in. The stretch is amazing, still so good after months together, and you don’t think it will ever feel this way with anyone else.

“You feel so good, so big,” you mumble, moving your hips in circles just the way he likes.

The combination of praise and your hips earns you loud, unabashed moans from Hoseok. You squeeze him tighter without meaning to, his noises making your body react. Although Hoseok is vocal during sex, he usually just grunts and hisses with the occasional groan under his breath. The loud moaning is new and he sounds so good you want more.

“Fuck, Hobi, your cock is so good,” you continue, hoping the praise will give you what you want. “You stretch me out so good. No one fucks my pussy like you,” you gasp, surprised at how dirty but true those words are, “and no one ever will.”

The veins in Hoseok’s neck are stark against his skin as his mouth opens to release another low, loud moan. His hands fly to your hips, fingers making bruises on the flesh of your thighs.

“No one,” he echoes as if lost in pleasure.

Satisfied, you decide to reward him. Picking up your hips, you begin to move up and down, knowing that he’s on the verge of coming. You can feel the pulsing of his cock inside you, see the way his face is twisted.

He looks so pretty like this, all sweaty and fucked-out beneath you. Almost as pretty as when you dress him up.

You want to hear him moan again. So you bring your hips down particularly hard, the slapping echoing in your bedroom. But instead of a moan, you get a choked, “God, I love you.”

Your hips stutter in their rhythm, heart nearly stopping in your chest.

Even though you’ve been together for little more than a few months, he’s never told you that. To be fair, you haven’t told him that either. There have been a few times where it looked like he wanted to, and you can definitely recall almost blurting it out yourself, but something always stopped you both. Now, in the dark of your bedroom, there is nothing to stop either of you.

Those words make you feel fragile and invincible at the same time, the strangest combination. Heart picking back up, hips working, feeble hope builds in your chest.

“How much?” you ask.

“So, ah, much,” Hoseok grunts, finally opening his eyes. Dark, bottomless, they pierce you. “So fucking much.”

He means it.

“I love you too,” you confess, reaching down to brace your hands on his chest, give yourself more leverage. “So you should have no reason to worry, right? You don’t need to be jealous,” you say as your ass smacks his hips with soft slaps. “I’m all yours and you’re all mine. I want to hear you say that. Tell me, Hobi.”

“I’m all yours – fuck – and you’re all mine.”

The way he says it, voice rough with pleasure, makes you feel like you can come again.

“I don’t need anybody else, Hobi. Just you.” The words tumble out of your mouth. And though the sex is practically mind-numbing, you’re reminded of why, exactly, you’re bouncing on his dick in the first place. His hands start to help you move up and down, slamming you onto his cock, and you know he’s close. “Mm, that feels good.”

His face contorts at your voice. “Oh, god, I need to come. Can I come?”

Asking you for permission. Something about it turns you on – maybe it’s the power-play. But even though he asked nicely, you can’t let him just yet.

“No, not yet,” you pant. “Tell me one more time.”

You need to hear those words again.

“Fuck. All yours, all mine,” he snarls, voice cracking. “Fucking hell, I need to come. Please?” And he sounds so desperate, his hips beginning to thrust up to meet yours. His grip on your hips is so tight you know he can’t hold on much longer.

But still, not yet.

Now you’re swiveling down on his cock, hips moving in fast circles, and you can feel that second orgasm fast approaching. “That didn’t sound like you mean it.”

This time, it’s for him. He needs to hear those words.

With a frustrated growl, Hoseok gives in. “You don’t need anyone else. All you need is me. Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He dissolves into muttered curses when you reward him by squeezing your vaginal muscles around him. “I’m all yours and you’re all mine and, fucking shit, I love you. Now please, can I come?” he all but whines.

Then, and only then, are you satisfied.

“You can come,” you say while your hand sneaks down to your clit. Hoseok obeys immediately, coming with a harsh shout, holding your hips still while he throbs inside you and spurts into the condom. Rubbing your clit in small circles, you grind down on his cock to draw out his pleasure. “That’s it, Hobi…”

You watch his face, how his mouth moves silently, how his brows are furrowed. You watch how he stares at his cock sheathed in your pussy, how he hisses at how good it feels. And you watch when he looks up at you, sweaty and exhausted and full of so many different emotions.

It’s enough to send you over the edge, squeezing him tight. You shake through your orgasm, voice coming out in short, breathy whines. And through it all, you hear his voice and feel his fingers touching your cheeks.

“I love you. God, I really love you.”

Collapsing forward, absolutely spent, you rest your head on Hoseok’s shoulder. “Apology definitely accepted,” you gasp.

You’re both sweaty and out of breath and neither of you want to move. You, in particular, feel like your thighs and abdomen are on fire. Even though it’s way too hot and sticky, both of you bask for a moment or two, taking in everything that just transpired. Mostly, those weighty words that you blurted in the heat of the moment.

Eventually, though, Hoseok nudges you to the side and slips out of you. You lay there while he stumbles to the bathroom to get rid of the condom.

When he comes back, you make room for him again and curl into him, your favorite place in the world. His arm folds around your waist. And though you’re completely exhausted and feel like you could sleep for a week, your mind is more awake than ever.

Hoseok brushes a hand over your damp hair. “What are you thinking about? Your forehead’s all wrinkled.” He presses against the lines to try and smooth them out.

“This is what I was afraid of,” you say quietly. “We brought work problems home with us. Thankfully we managed to work things out, but what about next time?”

“There won’t be a next time,” he says confidently.

“You can’t promise that.”

He sighs, knowing you’re right. “So what do we do?” He rubs your shoulder.

“What do you mean?” You look up at him.

“Well, we can’t just keep chugging along while knowing that, as things stand, our relationship probably won’t make it,” he murmurs and your heart tightens. You don’t even want to think about that, especially not after what the two of you shared tonight. Hoseok rubs your shoulder again, as if thinking the same thing. “There has to be something we can do.”

But truthfully, there isn’t much. Your options are limited. It’s not like Hoseok can up and quit, much less change anything about, his job. He’s at the peak of his career, following his childhood dream, and you could never even ask him to throw it away.

You, however…

You bite your lip. “Well… There might be something.” When he looks down at you in surprise, you say, “I could stop working as your stylist.”

Hoseok rears back in bed. “What? But you love your job,” he says, shocked, and the look on his face makes you want to kiss him. “You shouldn’t have to quit. No, let’s think of something else.”

The firm way he says it, his fierce frown, has you smiling. “No, I didn’t say quit. I meant maybe I could work as a stylist for another group or company. I would still be doing what I love, just not necessarily with you all the time.”

He blinks, a considering look on his face. Then his nose wrinkles. “Would you be okay with that?”

“It wouldn’t be that bad, actually,” you continue. “All my life, people have had to help me. I’ve never really been able to do anything completely on my own. My friend helped me get this job.” The complex fear that you’re not independent enough is one you’ve been burying for years, unwilling to face it. Now you have a good reason to. “But I want to do it on my own. Using my own strength and skills to find a job is something that I need to do. To be actually satisfied, I need to feel like I earned my position. Does that make sense?”

You hope it does. Because, you understand what you mean in your head. But when you say it aloud, you’re not sure if the meaning gets across and you don’t know how to phrase it any better.

His fingers stroke your shoulder lightly and he sighs. “When you put it like that. I just don’t want you to feel forced into doing this.”

“It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while, actually,” you admit. “But even if I hadn’t been, I would still probably do it. Because I love you.”

And your relationship, however reluctant you were to begin it in the first place, is worth fighting for.

Hoseok melts in your arms, you can feel it. He pulls you into his chest for a tight hug, drops a kiss to the top of your head. “If this is what you want, then I’ll support you 100 percent,” he murmurs, sounding choked up. His lips move and you can feel his grin. “But only if you tell me that again.”

You smile, press your lips to his chest. He’s so easy to please.

“I love you,” you whisper. And then, with a cock of your brow and a curve of your lip, you say, “Oppa.”

Hoseok throws his head back into the pillows in a full-body laugh.

[bffhreprise]

Entry 330

 I snarled, ordering my son to return home immediately.  How dare he injure someone so valuable when acting on my behalf!?  Godric was too immature to be of any use of the family.  Was the fault mine?  I considered for a moment, just growing angrier.

 “Adelmar?” questioned my wife.

 I barely could contain the anger building up inside of me, but forced myself to stand and get away from the crowd.  I didn’t want to kill anyone here.  That endless song pounded through my head, ceaselessly calling me to join the dragons.  I couldn’t!  Not yet.  There was too much to do.  Something streaked toward me with incredible speed.  Shock pierced my anger.  I had thrown a punch, but James was holding my fist, having stopped it with ease.

 “Adelmar.  It’s me, James.  What’s wrong?” he asked, perfectly calm.  He obviously didn’t even consider me a threat.

 “When did you get this strong?” I demanded, trying to focus on the shock instead of the anger, but that terrible calling was still so loud to me.

 “Is it time already?” questioned Alma, having arrived shortly behind James, her dress hiked up in her hands.

 Guilt struck me.  My cousin would forgive me anything, even ruining her wedding.  Giving in to an idea, I dropped all of the spells defending me against magical attacks, immersing myself in James’ power.  In seconds, I was feeling better, the anger gradually subsiding.  Even the call of the dragon mother wasn’t a match for James’ peculiar magic.

 “Cousin, I wasn’t aware that your husband was holding back so much during his challenges.” I told her, restraining the spark of anger more easily now.  Why hadn’t she reported this to me?  I straightened my suit, sensing where my movements had displaced it.

 “I did inform you that he was much faster and stronger than I originally believed.” she calmly reminded me.

 “YOU SHOULD HAVE SHOWN ME!” I yelled, taking a step toward her.  The anger was spiking again.  When James casually blocked my path with his arm, I hugged him.  My cousin had chosen well.  “I’m sorry, James.  I’ll be fine soon.” I assured him as I stepped back.

 “What’s wrong?” he asked once more.  The obvious concern for me on his face was enough to keep my anger in check.

 “His time’s coming soon.” replied Alma, leaning against her husband.  She always did her best not to show her volatile emotions, but I could see her sorrow plainly.

 “Time?” questioned James.

 “There’s something I haven’t told you yet.” she replied, looking at him.

 “I imagine there are many things you haven’t told me yet.” he jested.

 “Just tell him.” I ordered, knowing James was family now.

 “My family is descended from dragons, and each member of the Slayer family is destined to become a dragon.  My mother didn’t die.  She became a dragon and went… elsewhere.” explained Alma quite succinctly.

 “Elsewhere?” he inquired, obviously interested now.

 “She doesn’t know.  None of us do.” asserted Adelmar.  “Welcome to the family.” I told him, forcing a smile.  Trying to deny these two their honeymoon was tempting.  James’ company would be invaluable to me right now, but I wouldn’t do that to Alma.

 “Yes.  Welcome, James.  We’re thrilled to have you.” agreed my beautiful Anwen as she hugged me.

 “Would you two care to come back for more photos?” asked James.  “We were just about to send for you, so your timing is rather great.”

 My smile turned wry as I said, “Timing on almost turning into a dragon and disrupting your party?  I think my timing needs improved.  Then again, I don’t know that I could have stopped were you not here.  Despite the other effects of your magic, there is a very calming effect to it.”

 “I’m glad I decided to attend my wedding today then.  Alma certainly would have been fired up if I had skipped out, and you apparently would have been as well.” he teased, grinning at me.

 Alma lightly hit him before saying, “Sorry, Adelmar.  He can’t take anything seriously at times.”

 “All part of his charm, I’m sure.” I acknowledged.  Then I told James “I still cannot believe your strength and speed.  If you had struck Hyun-woo full force, the man would have died on the spot.”  James had easily convinced me that the fight was somewhat of a struggle for him, but deception was valuable to my family as well.

 I was enjoying the company of my family quite fully before the vampires arrived.  Thanks to James’ influence, I didn’t lash out at them, which could have been a fatal mistake.  Even as a dragon, I doubted I could take the three old relics in a fight, and Ariadne was known to have wiped out an entire army of my brethren when she was two thousand years younger.  Knowing that Aaliyah claimed to be her niece made things even worse.  I mentally thanked James again for being able to calm me.

,,,^._.^,,,

 Even my concern for Adelmar couldn’t weigh me down today.  My wonderful husband had saved my cousin for now.  The reception went even better than I had hoped.  The speeches were a bit long, largely thanks to my cousin, but the meal was fantastic.

 “James, we should do some dancing while we’re away.  That ended too soon.” I told him, remembering every moment fondly as I nuzzled his arm.  We were on our way to the airport now.  At least, I had thought we were.  “Mila, you missed the turn.  Where are you taking us?”

 “I have a surprise for you, so please forgive this little stop before we fly out.” replied my husband, smiling at me as I tried to read his face.

 “Oh.  Does the pilot know?” I questioned, hoping he had considered it.

 “Yes, he was given the correct schedule rather than what you were given.” explained Mila, sounding amused.

 I should have assumed that she’d never fail in that regard.  “Lovely.  Our marriage has already started with more secrets.” I teased, already looking forward to what I’d be seeing.

 “Actually, this is to be a bit of explanation.” insisted James, obviously enjoying the suspense.

 “Oh?” I asked, just before the vehicle’s location changed.  We had driven under a bridge, away from heavier streams of traffic.  Then we appeared in a parking lot.  “We just teleported.” I acknowledged aloud.

   “You didn’t really want us to deal with traffic, did you?” teased James as he opened the door.

 After realizing where we were, I said, “I’m not allowed in there.”

 “As one of the primary shareholders, I give you permission.  The others have already confirmed.” he replied, offering his hand to me.

 I accepted his hand, sighed, and said, “Of all the places to go first, you had to pick one of the most plain-looking buildings around.”

 He merely shrugged, seeming quite pleased with himself.  I knew, of course, that this restaurant supposedly hosted the best food in the world.  The catering at our picnic and at our wedding had shown that the restaurant’s chefs were a match for Marco, which was very impressive.

 I nearly tripped after passing through the second set of doors into the restaurant.  My ability to sense heat had never been able to pierce any branch of this building, and what I was feeling now was inexplicable.  The inside of the building was absurdly large, far larger than the outside.  “What sort of illusion is this?” I questioned, as what I sensed from the diners finally registered.  

 “No illusion.  The Intergalactic House of Awesome Sauce is present on thousands of worlds, offering the best fine dining services in all of time and space.” insisted a familiar voice.  Evanna, the girl who had catered for us in the park.

 “You weren’t there a moment ago.” I stated, watching her.

 Smiling, Evanna said, “No, I wasn’t.  Please follow me, and I’ll show you to your room.”

 I had countless questions, but I didn’t resist when James pulled me along by the hand to follow Evanna.  In a couple steps, we appeared in a much smaller, even more lavish room boasting a single table.

 Motioning into the room, Evanna said, “Please wait here for your next host to attend to you.”

 “You won’t be taking us around?” questioned James, sounding surprised.

 “No.  Sorry, James.  As much as I would like to give you another tour, Carl has me assigned elsewhere today.” she told him, waving before she vanished again.

 “How is this possible?” I questioned, hoping he really did mean to provide explanations as he had suggested in the car.

 “Stabilized passages through space-time with radiation buffers, annoying people buffers, and other fun buffers.” explained Aaliyah, having appeared right beside us.  “Buffers… Don’t you love buffers?  Along with some other useful tech I designed, they allow the Intergalactic House of Awesome Sauce to simultaneously exist throughout all of space and have room for all.  Pretty slick, isn’t it?”

 I shook my head in disbelief and said, “You’re just messing with me, aren’t you.”

 “She really isn’t.” asserted James.  “Where would you like to go?”

 “When and where, really.  The ‘when’ is just as important.  I’m calling first choice though.  See ya!” exclaimed Aaliyah.

 We were suddenly transported to an open field near some mountains.  Far more astonishing, I could see my mother taking notice of us.  “Mother…?” I asked, fully convinced my senses were deceiving me.

 “Alma!” exclaimed Mother, arriving next to us in one leap of her enormous, draconic body.  “You’re married?”

 Illusion or not, I hugged her and said, “Yes.  Just today.  Father was there.  He misses you.”

 “No telepathy today?” asked James, sounding surprised.

 Mother snarled at him, looking annoyed, but James didn’t seem remotely startled.

 “Today?  You two have met?” I asked, pieces falling into place in my head.  I glanced from my engagement ring to my mother, realizing what had inspired him.

 James shrugged and said, “Of course.  How do you think I decided on a ring design?  I forged your engagement ring in a volcano on this planet.”

 “We’ve been fools, Alma.  After I attacked James, the dragon queen told me a great many things that I would like to share with you.” explained Mother.  “Why can I not see your thoughts?” she asked, sounding shocked.

 “I was given something that protects my mind from intrusion.  Adelmar approved of its use on Ai and Mai as well.  There are many things I would like to share as well.” I admitted, still struggling to believe this was really happening.  First, Father was granted sanity for the duration of my wedding.  Now, I was seeing Mother for the first time in years.

 “I’ll hang out over that way and give you two a bit of time to catch up.  We’ll probably be on this planet for a while.” stated James, jogging away as soon as I nodded.

 I didn’t even know where to begin.

[seopt58147]

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

Today, for a change of pace we’ll look at how to build the most wasteful, ineffective PPC account possible. The blunders listed here range from ignoring easy wins that could have maximized your ad’s visibility, to lazily throwing ads at every passerby rather than being deliberate and crisp with this incredibly powerful targeting available to digital marketers.

My hope after you read this is that you’ll think twice before taking a shortcut that might seem harmless but can lead to major missed opportunities or mediocre results.

Warning: some sarcasm follows.

Blunder #1 – Using Broad Match Keywords for Everything

To get things off on the wrong foot, let’s start off easy. Ignoring all precise keyword and phrase match targeting options and dumping all your keywords into broad match.

Example: You run a business that sells vintage surf-wear in Honolulu, but you decide to put the keyword “clothes” into broad match.

This might seem extreme, but can you think of a keyword or two in your own PPC account that might benefit from a little more specificity? That one place where you let yourself off the hook saying: “Hey, it’s not perfect, but some of the people who search for this term probably want what we sell.”

Tightening up your keyword lists to be mostly phrase- and exact-match can yield far better results for a much more affordable price.

Blunder #2 – Refusing to Switch to Expanded Text Ads

Have you seen all those pesky notification from Google telling you to upgrade to Expanded Text Ads? Begging you to give prospective customers a little more insight into what you sell and why it would be worth their time to check out. There’s a reason for that.

Google and Bing are constantly trying to create value for searchers and advertisers. They want you to put the right product and message in front of the perfect customer. Sure, it takes some time and elbow grease to update old copy to take advantage of Expanded Text Ads and other changes, but it’s entirely worth it to communicate the value of your offer even more clearly.

Blunder #3 – Not Using Device Bid Modifiers

Is the data telling you that your ads convert twice as well on desktop compared to mobile? Even though that seems like extremely valuable information, practitioners new to PPC or those simply stretched too thin often don’t consider adjusting their ads based on device.

Behavior differences between desktop and mobile are real. There’s an entire section of your paid search analytics and any decent web analytics platform entirely dedicated to telling you about these differences.

There’s no reason and no real excuse not to peek at mobile vs. desktop performance and make intelligent choices about paying for more of the ads that work well.

Blunder #4 – No Negative Keywords

Just because you know your product won’t be interesting to people looking for something entirely different, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t waste money advertising it to them.

Wait, that’s exactly what that means.

Negative keywords are one of the most powerful tools in your belt as a search marketer. As with all things worth doing, it can take a little time to add these (the right way) to every campaign and ad group. But even a little effort spent on throwing out irrelevant searches and clicks can have major positive impact to your ROI.

Blunder #5 – Ad Scheduling? Sounds like a lot of work.

Running a sale for the next few days? Trying to get customers into the shop during certain hours? Closing your service business up at night?! Regardless of the reason your offer might change over the day, the week, or the year; scheduling your ads to appear at the most relevant times is extremely important.

Ad scheduling can’t control when and what people search, but it sure is helpful for putting up a relevant message at the moments your best customers are likely to be looking for you.

Blunder #6 – Ignoring Search Partner Network Results

Want to make sure you’re wasting some extra cash? Pay no attention to how ads are doing on Google’s Search Partner Network. What’s that? You say you’ve had zero conversions in the past three years? I’d probably just ignore that. If Google adds all of its partner network to your targeting by default, it must be good.

Seriously though, Google is running a business. They have products (ad placements) of differing quality. Some are good for all, and others need to be taken with some extra scrutiny, or not at all.

It’s incumbent on you as the marketer to evaluate where your ads are running and whether they’re running profitably for your business.

Blunder #7 – Opting for CPM Bidding Models. Because who needs performance?

(Turns sarcasm to 11.) Clicks are overrated. And for that matter, so is return on ad spend (RoAS).

In fairness, and in theory, CPM bidding can work but it relies on the assumption that higher impressions always equate to proportionally higher sales, or that your offer is so high-converting that you save money by foregoing any performance (click) guarantees. We know that’s not always true, so it’s generally a very risky strategy. This is especially true if you don’t have time or expertise to closely monitor and manage your campaigns.

One of the best things about search marketing is that you can choose to pay entirely for promising user behavior (clicks). There are very few reasons to let go of this and revert to an advertising model where you’re just paying for ad impressions.

I’m guessing you might have a budget to work within as well. All the more reason to focus every search marketing dollar on those users that look promising today.

Blunder #8 – Not Using Display Impression Caps

Want to annoy the heck out of a prospective customer? A great way to do this is to skip setting impression caps for your display ads. You’ll want those display ads to follow users around the internet, with no escape. Try as they might, they’ll never see your display ads less than 40x per day.

More seriously, the goal of advertising is to give consumers just a little positive nudge in the right direction before, during, and after they make a purchase. You never want to beat them over the head with advertising. Impression caps allow you to effectively and discretely provide that nudge, rather than seeming rude and possibly creepy by showing the same ad 100 times per day.

Blunder #9 – Targeting ALL COUNTRIES

Targeting just the countries you serve sounds like common sense, but it’s surprisingly easy to overlook when setting up your account, especially if you’re not experienced in AdWords. Make sure your location targeting is accurate so you don’t end up wasting your money serving ads in countries on the other side of the planet if your business is elsewhere.

Blunder #10 – Changing Bid Strategy Without Testing Results

Are you currently using Manual CPC but have a hunch that a CPA bid strategy would perform better? Or getting set to target an entirely new theme and set of keywords? Great, go for it, but only if you’ve benchmarked how you’re doing today, and tested performance of the new approach before committing a giant spend.

Completely switching your account’s bid strategy only to find out that you made performance worse for days, weeks, or even months can put a serious damper on morale and budgets. Minimize risk by testing your new strategy on one campaign. If it performs well, then you can roll it out to the rest of the account. But do test, do benchmark, and do iterate deliberately.

Blunder #11 – Not Using RLSA

Say a customer was searching for running shoes. The customer searched “running shoes,” clicked on your ad, didn’t make a purchase, and left your site. Those customers were so close to converting, if only there was a way to give them the final nudge they need. Luckily for us, there is.

Using remarketing lists allows us to target ads to people who exhibit a specific behavior on our site. The target behavior can be just about anything, whether it be spending 100 seconds on the site or abandoning their cart. RLSA is a massively helpful tool for all marketers, so it’s important to utilize it thoughtfully and consistently.

Blunder #12 – Using One Campaign Budget for Your Whole Account Why waste your time creating different campaigns for all your products? Just create one giant campaign and cram everything in there. That way, you don’t have to waste all that time clicking into the different campaigns.

This is another basic but extreme mistake that can really ruin your account’s performance. Campaigns as a subset of Accounts are there for a reason. It allows us to separate our account into related groups so we can be as specific as possible with our advertising in both the creative and the bid optimization. It benefits both the marketer and the consumer if you split up your account into multiple campaign, so please, please do this.

Blunder #13 – Targeting Mobile Traffic to Non-Mobile-Friendly Sites

Every year we hear that mobile search is getting bigger and bigger. Matter of fact, Google announced last week that it’s finally rolling out it’s mobile-first index in a very real way. If you haven’t yet, it’s time to take that seriously and make your website mobile-friendly.

If your website isn’t mobile-friendly yet, do not target mobile traffic. It’s that simple, but that’s a massive audience to miss. If a site’s mobile experience is terrible, mobile users won’t convert, so you’re better of sticking to desktop users until you get your mobile experience fixed (and you should).

Blunder #14 – Search And Display In The Same Campaign

Display and search ads are incredibly different and should be treated as such.

For simple illustration, think about a user’s intent to engage when they proactively search for something on Google, vs. visiting a site to read an article where the right rail has a display ad for something they looked at last week.

It’s not a painstaking process to separate display and search into different campaigns, so take the time clean up your account a bit. You’ll thank me later.

Blunder #15 – Addressing Multiple Keyword Themes in One Ad Group

Using multiple keyword themes in a single ad group isn’t as damaging as some of the others on this list, but it can create confusion or distraction for consumers.

Let’s use a clothing store as an example: You put all of your clothing related keywords in the same ad group. Now, say the ad’s headline says something like “Clothes for Sale” or just “Clothes” (overly generic to make a point). Now, when people search for a more specific “red hat” or “blue shoes”, the generic clothes ad will show up for them. The ad’s not technically wrong, but it would benefit from being a lot more specific. Similarly, you wouldn’t want to show an ad for “red hat” to “blue shoe” searchers, but that’s exactly what can happen if you lump too many topics into a single ad group.

Sorting out your keywords into clear themes and matching those to ad groups allows you to be specific and highly relevant in your ads’ creative and messaging. It just makes the consumer experience that much better.

Blunder #16 – No Analytics

Proof positive that this list is not rank-ordered.

“Marketers got by for years without Google Analytics, so why should you use it? Right??”

This argument reminds me of the person who still insists on using a paper map on road trips when we have incredible GPS systems in our phones. Yes, people did get by before Google Analytics. No, that’s not an excuse to not use it.

Google Analytics is an incredible tool that allows us to make highly educated decisions around basically everything we do as digital marketers. And, it’s free. Learn to use it, and your whole job gets easier, not to mention your results.

Blunder #17 – Always Going For The #1 Spot

As the famous race car driver Ricky Bobby once said: “If you ain’t first, you’re last”. In the world of PPC, that couldn’t be more wrong. Being at the top of search results feels great, but there are many instances where it’s far more beneficial to be in the second or third spot.

For example: You sell T-shirts that go for $20 apiece. Now let’s say ads cost $1 per click to be in the #2 position for a given search term, but would cost $10 to be in the #1 position. $10 per click to sell a $20 T-shirt is likely far too expensive unless your site conversion rate is 60% (in which case, we should all be reading your blog). In this instance, we’d much rather stick with the second spot.

Blunder #18 – No Ad Extensions

Just like a few others on this list, Ad Extensions exist for a very good reason. They’re proven to increase CTR by connecting prospective customers with the right information quickly, which means it’s also a better experience for the consumer. Ad extensions are also incredibly easy to set up and manage, so consider this an easy win.

Blunder #19 – Have Your Ads Link to Irrelevant Pages

This might be my personal favorite. Clicking on an ad only to end up on a completely irrelevant page is guaranteed to leave your prospective customer disoriented and confused. The lesser sin here is sending them to a page that’s completely generic. Luckily, this is an easy fix. If your ad is promoting a specific product or category, send me to the product or category page! If I end up anywhere less specific and relevant than this, something’s wrong.

The Lesson Among the Mistakes

We had a lot of fun trying to think of ways to bungle PPC account setup and management. Some of these mistakes are more ridiculous than others, but the bottom line is that you need to take the time to consider your audience and your message. Use the tools at your disposal to make your account as efficient as possible. Otherwise, you may be losing customers before they even get to your site. And if you’ve got other favorite mistakes, we’d love to hear them in the comments.

https://ift.tt/2HcAToN

[duiatty48170]

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

Today, for a change of pace we’ll look at how to build the most wasteful, ineffective PPC account possible. The blunders listed here range from ignoring easy wins that could have maximized your ad’s visibility, to lazily throwing ads at every passerby rather than being deliberate and crisp with this incredibly powerful targeting available to digital marketers.

My hope after you read this is that you’ll think twice before taking a shortcut that might seem harmless but can lead to major missed opportunities or mediocre results.

Warning: some sarcasm follows.

Blunder #1 – Using Broad Match Keywords for Everything

To get things off on the wrong foot, let’s start off easy. Ignoring all precise keyword and phrase match targeting options and dumping all your keywords into broad match.

Example: You run a business that sells vintage surf-wear in Honolulu, but you decide to put the keyword “clothes” into broad match.

This might seem extreme, but can you think of a keyword or two in your own PPC account that might benefit from a little more specificity? That one place where you let yourself off the hook saying: “Hey, it’s not perfect, but some of the people who search for this term probably want what we sell.”

Tightening up your keyword lists to be mostly phrase- and exact-match can yield far better results for a much more affordable price.

Blunder #2 – Refusing to Switch to Expanded Text Ads

Have you seen all those pesky notification from Google telling you to upgrade to Expanded Text Ads? Begging you to give prospective customers a little more insight into what you sell and why it would be worth their time to check out. There’s a reason for that.

Google and Bing are constantly trying to create value for searchers and advertisers. They want you to put the right product and message in front of the perfect customer. Sure, it takes some time and elbow grease to update old copy to take advantage of Expanded Text Ads and other changes, but it’s entirely worth it to communicate the value of your offer even more clearly.

Blunder #3 – Not Using Device Bid Modifiers

Is the data telling you that your ads convert twice as well on desktop compared to mobile? Even though that seems like extremely valuable information, practitioners new to PPC or those simply stretched too thin often don’t consider adjusting their ads based on device.

Behavior differences between desktop and mobile are real. There’s an entire section of your paid search analytics and any decent web analytics platform entirely dedicated to telling you about these differences.

There’s no reason and no real excuse not to peek at mobile vs. desktop performance and make intelligent choices about paying for more of the ads that work well.

Blunder #4 – No Negative Keywords

Just because you know your product won’t be interesting to people looking for something entirely different, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t waste money advertising it to them.

Wait, that’s exactly what that means.

Negative keywords are one of the most powerful tools in your belt as a search marketer. As with all things worth doing, it can take a little time to add these (the right way) to every campaign and ad group. But even a little effort spent on throwing out irrelevant searches and clicks can have major positive impact to your ROI.

Blunder #5 – Ad Scheduling? Sounds like a lot of work.

Running a sale for the next few days? Trying to get customers into the shop during certain hours? Closing your service business up at night?! Regardless of the reason your offer might change over the day, the week, or the year; scheduling your ads to appear at the most relevant times is extremely important.

Ad scheduling can’t control when and what people search, but it sure is helpful for putting up a relevant message at the moments your best customers are likely to be looking for you.

Blunder #6 – Ignoring Search Partner Network Results

Want to make sure you’re wasting some extra cash? Pay no attention to how ads are doing on Google’s Search Partner Network. What’s that? You say you’ve had zero conversions in the past three years? I’d probably just ignore that. If Google adds all of its partner network to your targeting by default, it must be good.

Seriously though, Google is running a business. They have products (ad placements) of differing quality. Some are good for all, and others need to be taken with some extra scrutiny, or not at all.

It’s incumbent on you as the marketer to evaluate where your ads are running and whether they’re running profitably for your business.

Blunder #7 – Opting for CPM Bidding Models. Because who needs performance?

(Turns sarcasm to 11.) Clicks are overrated. And for that matter, so is return on ad spend (RoAS).

In fairness, and in theory, CPM bidding can work but it relies on the assumption that higher impressions always equate to proportionally higher sales, or that your offer is so high-converting that you save money by foregoing any performance (click) guarantees. We know that’s not always true, so it’s generally a very risky strategy. This is especially true if you don’t have time or expertise to closely monitor and manage your campaigns.

One of the best things about search marketing is that you can choose to pay entirely for promising user behavior (clicks). There are very few reasons to let go of this and revert to an advertising model where you’re just paying for ad impressions.

I’m guessing you might have a budget to work within as well. All the more reason to focus every search marketing dollar on those users that look promising today.

Blunder #8 – Not Using Display Impression Caps

Want to annoy the heck out of a prospective customer? A great way to do this is to skip setting impression caps for your display ads. You’ll want those display ads to follow users around the internet, with no escape. Try as they might, they’ll never see your display ads less than 40x per day.

More seriously, the goal of advertising is to give consumers just a little positive nudge in the right direction before, during, and after they make a purchase. You never want to beat them over the head with advertising. Impression caps allow you to effectively and discretely provide that nudge, rather than seeming rude and possibly creepy by showing the same ad 100 times per day.

Blunder #9 – Targeting ALL COUNTRIES

Targeting just the countries you serve sounds like common sense, but it’s surprisingly easy to overlook when setting up your account, especially if you’re not experienced in AdWords. Make sure your location targeting is accurate so you don’t end up wasting your money serving ads in countries on the other side of the planet if your business is elsewhere.

Blunder #10 – Changing Bid Strategy Without Testing Results

Are you currently using Manual CPC but have a hunch that a CPA bid strategy would perform better? Or getting set to target an entirely new theme and set of keywords? Great, go for it, but only if you’ve benchmarked how you’re doing today, and tested performance of the new approach before committing a giant spend.

Completely switching your account’s bid strategy only to find out that you made performance worse for days, weeks, or even months can put a serious damper on morale and budgets. Minimize risk by testing your new strategy on one campaign. If it performs well, then you can roll it out to the rest of the account. But do test, do benchmark, and do iterate deliberately.

Blunder #11 – Not Using RLSA

Say a customer was searching for running shoes. The customer searched “running shoes,” clicked on your ad, didn’t make a purchase, and left your site. Those customers were so close to converting, if only there was a way to give them the final nudge they need. Luckily for us, there is.

Using remarketing lists allows us to target ads to people who exhibit a specific behavior on our site. The target behavior can be just about anything, whether it be spending 100 seconds on the site or abandoning their cart. RLSA is a massively helpful tool for all marketers, so it’s important to utilize it thoughtfully and consistently.

Blunder #12 – Using One Campaign Budget for Your Whole Account Why waste your time creating different campaigns for all your products? Just create one giant campaign and cram everything in there. That way, you don’t have to waste all that time clicking into the different campaigns.

This is another basic but extreme mistake that can really ruin your account’s performance. Campaigns as a subset of Accounts are there for a reason. It allows us to separate our account into related groups so we can be as specific as possible with our advertising in both the creative and the bid optimization. It benefits both the marketer and the consumer if you split up your account into multiple campaign, so please, please do this.

Blunder #13 – Targeting Mobile Traffic to Non-Mobile-Friendly Sites

Every year we hear that mobile search is getting bigger and bigger. Matter of fact, Google announced last week that it’s finally rolling out it’s mobile-first index in a very real way. If you haven’t yet, it’s time to take that seriously and make your website mobile-friendly.

If your website isn’t mobile-friendly yet, do not target mobile traffic. It’s that simple, but that’s a massive audience to miss. If a site’s mobile experience is terrible, mobile users won’t convert, so you’re better of sticking to desktop users until you get your mobile experience fixed (and you should).

Blunder #14 – Search And Display In The Same Campaign

Display and search ads are incredibly different and should be treated as such.

For simple illustration, think about a user’s intent to engage when they proactively search for something on Google, vs. visiting a site to read an article where the right rail has a display ad for something they looked at last week.

It’s not a painstaking process to separate display and search into different campaigns, so take the time clean up your account a bit. You’ll thank me later.

Blunder #15 – Addressing Multiple Keyword Themes in One Ad Group

Using multiple keyword themes in a single ad group isn’t as damaging as some of the others on this list, but it can create confusion or distraction for consumers.

Let’s use a clothing store as an example: You put all of your clothing related keywords in the same ad group. Now, say the ad’s headline says something like “Clothes for Sale” or just “Clothes” (overly generic to make a point). Now, when people search for a more specific “red hat” or “blue shoes”, the generic clothes ad will show up for them. The ad’s not technically wrong, but it would benefit from being a lot more specific. Similarly, you wouldn’t want to show an ad for “red hat” to “blue shoe” searchers, but that’s exactly what can happen if you lump too many topics into a single ad group.

Sorting out your keywords into clear themes and matching those to ad groups allows you to be specific and highly relevant in your ads’ creative and messaging. It just makes the consumer experience that much better.

Blunder #16 – No Analytics

Proof positive that this list is not rank-ordered.

“Marketers got by for years without Google Analytics, so why should you use it? Right??”

This argument reminds me of the person who still insists on using a paper map on road trips when we have incredible GPS systems in our phones. Yes, people did get by before Google Analytics. No, that’s not an excuse to not use it.

Google Analytics is an incredible tool that allows us to make highly educated decisions around basically everything we do as digital marketers. And, it’s free. Learn to use it, and your whole job gets easier, not to mention your results.

Blunder #17 – Always Going For The #1 Spot

As the famous race car driver Ricky Bobby once said: “If you ain’t first, you’re last”. In the world of PPC, that couldn’t be more wrong. Being at the top of search results feels great, but there are many instances where it’s far more beneficial to be in the second or third spot.

For example: You sell T-shirts that go for $20 apiece. Now let’s say ads cost $1 per click to be in the #2 position for a given search term, but would cost $10 to be in the #1 position. $10 per click to sell a $20 T-shirt is likely far too expensive unless your site conversion rate is 60% (in which case, we should all be reading your blog). In this instance, we’d much rather stick with the second spot.

Blunder #18 – No Ad Extensions

Just like a few others on this list, Ad Extensions exist for a very good reason. They’re proven to increase CTR by connecting prospective customers with the right information quickly, which means it’s also a better experience for the consumer. Ad extensions are also incredibly easy to set up and manage, so consider this an easy win.

Blunder #19 – Have Your Ads Link to Irrelevant Pages

This might be my personal favorite. Clicking on an ad only to end up on a completely irrelevant page is guaranteed to leave your prospective customer disoriented and confused. The lesser sin here is sending them to a page that’s completely generic. Luckily, this is an easy fix. If your ad is promoting a specific product or category, send me to the product or category page! If I end up anywhere less specific and relevant than this, something’s wrong.

The Lesson Among the Mistakes

We had a lot of fun trying to think of ways to bungle PPC account setup and management. Some of these mistakes are more ridiculous than others, but the bottom line is that you need to take the time to consider your audience and your message. Use the tools at your disposal to make your account as efficient as possible. Otherwise, you may be losing customers before they even get to your site. And if you’ve got other favorite mistakes, we’d love to hear them in the comments.

https://ift.tt/2HcAToN

[restateagnt17101]

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

Today, for a change of pace we’ll look at how to build the most wasteful, ineffective PPC account possible. The blunders listed here range from ignoring easy wins that could have maximized your ad’s visibility, to lazily throwing ads at every passerby rather than being deliberate and crisp with this incredibly powerful targeting available to digital marketers.

My hope after you read this is that you’ll think twice before taking a shortcut that might seem harmless but can lead to major missed opportunities or mediocre results.

Warning: some sarcasm follows.

Blunder #1 – Using Broad Match Keywords for Everything

To get things off on the wrong foot, let’s start off easy. Ignoring all precise keyword and phrase match targeting options and dumping all your keywords into broad match.

Example: You run a business that sells vintage surf-wear in Honolulu, but you decide to put the keyword “clothes” into broad match.

This might seem extreme, but can you think of a keyword or two in your own PPC account that might benefit from a little more specificity? That one place where you let yourself off the hook saying: “Hey, it’s not perfect, but some of the people who search for this term probably want what we sell.”

Tightening up your keyword lists to be mostly phrase- and exact-match can yield far better results for a much more affordable price.

Blunder #2 – Refusing to Switch to Expanded Text Ads

Have you seen all those pesky notification from Google telling you to upgrade to Expanded Text Ads? Begging you to give prospective customers a little more insight into what you sell and why it would be worth their time to check out. There’s a reason for that.

Google and Bing are constantly trying to create value for searchers and advertisers. They want you to put the right product and message in front of the perfect customer. Sure, it takes some time and elbow grease to update old copy to take advantage of Expanded Text Ads and other changes, but it’s entirely worth it to communicate the value of your offer even more clearly.

Blunder #3 – Not Using Device Bid Modifiers

Is the data telling you that your ads convert twice as well on desktop compared to mobile? Even though that seems like extremely valuable information, practitioners new to PPC or those simply stretched too thin often don’t consider adjusting their ads based on device.

Behavior differences between desktop and mobile are real. There’s an entire section of your paid search analytics and any decent web analytics platform entirely dedicated to telling you about these differences.

There’s no reason and no real excuse not to peek at mobile vs. desktop performance and make intelligent choices about paying for more of the ads that work well.

Blunder #4 – No Negative Keywords

Just because you know your product won’t be interesting to people looking for something entirely different, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t waste money advertising it to them.

Wait, that��s exactly what that means.

Negative keywords are one of the most powerful tools in your belt as a search marketer. As with all things worth doing, it can take a little time to add these (the right way) to every campaign and ad group. But even a little effort spent on throwing out irrelevant searches and clicks can have major positive impact to your ROI.

Blunder #5 – Ad Scheduling? Sounds like a lot of work.

Running a sale for the next few days? Trying to get customers into the shop during certain hours? Closing your service business up at night?! Regardless of the reason your offer might change over the day, the week, or the year; scheduling your ads to appear at the most relevant times is extremely important.

Ad scheduling can’t control when and what people search, but it sure is helpful for putting up a relevant message at the moments your best customers are likely to be looking for you.

Blunder #6 – Ignoring Search Partner Network Results

Want to make sure you’re wasting some extra cash? Pay no attention to how ads are doing on Google’s Search Partner Network. What’s that? You say you’ve had zero conversions in the past three years? I’d probably just ignore that. If Google adds all of its partner network to your targeting by default, it must be good.

Seriously though, Google is running a business. They have products (ad placements) of differing quality. Some are good for all, and others need to be taken with some extra scrutiny, or not at all.

It’s incumbent on you as the marketer to evaluate where your ads are running and whether they’re running profitably for your business.

Blunder #7 – Opting for CPM Bidding Models. Because who needs performance?

(Turns sarcasm to 11.) Clicks are overrated. And for that matter, so is return on ad spend (RoAS).

In fairness, and in theory, CPM bidding can work but it relies on the assumption that higher impressions always equate to proportionally higher sales, or that your offer is so high-converting that you save money by foregoing any performance (click) guarantees. We know that’s not always true, so it’s generally a very risky strategy. This is especially true if you don’t have time or expertise to closely monitor and manage your campaigns.

One of the best things about search marketing is that you can choose to pay entirely for promising user behavior (clicks). There are very few reasons to let go of this and revert to an advertising model where you’re just paying for ad impressions.

I’m guessing you might have a budget to work within as well. All the more reason to focus every search marketing dollar on those users that look promising today.

Blunder #8 – Not Using Display Impression Caps

Want to annoy the heck out of a prospective customer? A great way to do this is to skip setting impression caps for your display ads. You’ll want those display ads to follow users around the internet, with no escape. Try as they might, they’ll never see your display ads less than 40x per day.

More seriously, the goal of advertising is to give consumers just a little positive nudge in the right direction before, during, and after they make a purchase. You never want to beat them over the head with advertising. Impression caps allow you to effectively and discretely provide that nudge, rather than seeming rude and possibly creepy by showing the same ad 100 times per day.

Blunder #9 – Targeting ALL COUNTRIES

Targeting just the countries you serve sounds like common sense, but it’s surprisingly easy to overlook when setting up your account, especially if you’re not experienced in AdWords. Make sure your location targeting is accurate so you don’t end up wasting your money serving ads in countries on the other side of the planet if your business is elsewhere.

Blunder #10 – Changing Bid Strategy Without Testing Results

Are you currently using Manual CPC but have a hunch that a CPA bid strategy would perform better? Or getting set to target an entirely new theme and set of keywords? Great, go for it, but only if you’ve benchmarked how you’re doing today, and tested performance of the new approach before committing a giant spend.

Completely switching your account’s bid strategy only to find out that you made performance worse for days, weeks, or even months can put a serious damper on morale and budgets. Minimize risk by testing your new strategy on one campaign. If it performs well, then you can roll it out to the rest of the account. But do test, do benchmark, and do iterate deliberately.

Blunder #11 – Not Using RLSA

Say a customer was searching for running shoes. The customer searched “running shoes,” clicked on your ad, didn’t make a purchase, and left your site. Those customers were so close to converting, if only there was a way to give them the final nudge they need. Luckily for us, there is.

Using remarketing lists allows us to target ads to people who exhibit a specific behavior on our site. The target behavior can be just about anything, whether it be spending 100 seconds on the site or abandoning their cart. RLSA is a massively helpful tool for all marketers, so it’s important to utilize it thoughtfully and consistently.

Blunder #12 – Using One Campaign Budget for Your Whole Account Why waste your time creating different campaigns for all your products? Just create one giant campaign and cram everything in there. That way, you don’t have to waste all that time clicking into the different campaigns.

This is another basic but extreme mistake that can really ruin your account’s performance. Campaigns as a subset of Accounts are there for a reason. It allows us to separate our account into related groups so we can be as specific as possible with our advertising in both the creative and the bid optimization. It benefits both the marketer and the consumer if you split up your account into multiple campaign, so please, please do this.

Blunder #13 – Targeting Mobile Traffic to Non-Mobile-Friendly Sites

Every year we hear that mobile search is getting bigger and bigger. Matter of fact, Google announced last week that it’s finally rolling out it’s mobile-first index in a very real way. If you haven’t yet, it’s time to take that seriously and make your website mobile-friendly.

If your website isn’t mobile-friendly yet, do not target mobile traffic. It’s that simple, but that’s a massive audience to miss. If a site’s mobile experience is terrible, mobile users won’t convert, so you’re better of sticking to desktop users until you get your mobile experience fixed (and you should).

Blunder #14 – Search And Display In The Same Campaign

Display and search ads are incredibly different and should be treated as such.

For simple illustration, think about a user’s intent to engage when they proactively search for something on Google, vs. visiting a site to read an article where the right rail has a display ad for something they looked at last week.

It’s not a painstaking process to separate display and search into different campaigns, so take the time clean up your account a bit. You’ll thank me later.

Blunder #15 – Addressing Multiple Keyword Themes in One Ad Group

Using multiple keyword themes in a single ad group isn’t as damaging as some of the others on this list, but it can create confusion or distraction for consumers.

Let’s use a clothing store as an example: You put all of your clothing related keywords in the same ad group. Now, say the ad’s headline says something like “Clothes for Sale” or just “Clothes” (overly generic to make a point). Now, when people search for a more specific “red hat” or “blue shoes”, the generic clothes ad will show up for them. The ad’s not technically wrong, but it would benefit from being a lot more specific. Similarly, you wouldn’t want to show an ad for “red hat” to “blue shoe” searchers, but that’s exactly what can happen if you lump too many topics into a single ad group.

Sorting out your keywords into clear themes and matching those to ad groups allows you to be specific and highly relevant in your ads’ creative and messaging. It just makes the consumer experience that much better.

Blunder #16 – No Analytics

Proof positive that this list is not rank-ordered.

“Marketers got by for years without Google Analytics, so why should you use it? Right??”

This argument reminds me of the person who still insists on using a paper map on road trips when we have incredible GPS systems in our phones. Yes, people did get by before Google Analytics. No, that’s not an excuse to not use it.

Google Analytics is an incredible tool that allows us to make highly educated decisions around basically everything we do as digital marketers. And, it’s free. Learn to use it, and your whole job gets easier, not to mention your results.

Blunder #17 – Always Going For The #1 Spot

As the famous race car driver Ricky Bobby once said: “If you ain’t first, you’re last”. In the world of PPC, that couldn’t be more wrong. Being at the top of search results feels great, but there are many instances where it’s far more beneficial to be in the second or third spot.

For example: You sell T-shirts that go for $20 apiece. Now let’s say ads cost $1 per click to be in the #2 position for a given search term, but would cost $10 to be in the #1 position. $10 per click to sell a $20 T-shirt is likely far too expensive unless your site conversion rate is 60% (in which case, we should all be reading your blog). In this instance, we’d much rather stick with the second spot.

Blunder #18 – No Ad Extensions

Just like a few others on this list, Ad Extensions exist for a very good reason. They’re proven to increase CTR by connecting prospective customers with the right information quickly, which means it’s also a better experience for the consumer. Ad extensions are also incredibly easy to set up and manage, so consider this an easy win.

Blunder #19 – Have Your Ads Link to Irrelevant Pages

This might be my personal favorite. Clicking on an ad only to end up on a completely irrelevant page is guaranteed to leave your prospective customer disoriented and confused. The lesser sin here is sending them to a page that’s completely generic. Luckily, this is an easy fix. If your ad is promoting a specific product or category, send me to the product or category page! If I end up anywhere less specific and relevant than this, something’s wrong.

The Lesson Among the Mistakes

We had a lot of fun trying to think of ways to bungle PPC account setup and management. Some of these mistakes are more ridiculous than others, but the bottom line is that you need to take the time to consider your audience and your message. Use the tools at your disposal to make your account as efficient as possible. Otherwise, you may be losing customers before they even get to your site. And if you’ve got other favorite mistakes, we’d love to hear them in the comments.

https://ift.tt/2HcAToN

[personalinjurylawyer93555]

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

Today, for a change of pace we’ll look at how to build the most wasteful, ineffective PPC account possible. The blunders listed here range from ignoring easy wins that could have maximized your ad’s visibility, to lazily throwing ads at every passerby rather than being deliberate and crisp with this incredibly powerful targeting available to digital marketers.

My hope after you read this is that you’ll think twice before taking a shortcut that might seem harmless but can lead to major missed opportunities or mediocre results.

Warning: some sarcasm follows.

Blunder #1 – Using Broad Match Keywords for Everything

To get things off on the wrong foot, let’s start off easy. Ignoring all precise keyword and phrase match targeting options and dumping all your keywords into broad match.

Example: You run a business that sells vintage surf-wear in Honolulu, but you decide to put the keyword “clothes” into broad match.

This might seem extreme, but can you think of a keyword or two in your own PPC account that might benefit from a little more specificity? That one place where you let yourself off the hook saying: “Hey, it’s not perfect, but some of the people who search for this term probably want what we sell.”

Tightening up your keyword lists to be mostly phrase- and exact-match can yield far better results for a much more affordable price.

Blunder #2 – Refusing to Switch to Expanded Text Ads

Have you seen all those pesky notification from Google telling you to upgrade to Expanded Text Ads? Begging you to give prospective customers a little more insight into what you sell and why it would be worth their time to check out. There’s a reason for that.

Google and Bing are constantly trying to create value for searchers and advertisers. They want you to put the right product and message in front of the perfect customer. Sure, it takes some time and elbow grease to update old copy to take advantage of Expanded Text Ads and other changes, but it’s entirely worth it to communicate the value of your offer even more clearly.

Blunder #3 – Not Using Device Bid Modifiers

Is the data telling you that your ads convert twice as well on desktop compared to mobile? Even though that seems like extremely valuable information, practitioners new to PPC or those simply stretched too thin often don’t consider adjusting their ads based on device.

Behavior differences between desktop and mobile are real. There’s an entire section of your paid search analytics and any decent web analytics platform entirely dedicated to telling you about these differences.

There’s no reason and no real excuse not to peek at mobile vs. desktop performance and make intelligent choices about paying for more of the ads that work well.

Blunder #4 – No Negative Keywords

Just because you know your product won’t be interesting to people looking for something entirely different, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t waste money advertising it to them.

Wait, that’s exactly what that means.

Negative keywords are one of the most powerful tools in your belt as a search marketer. As with all things worth doing, it can take a little time to add these (the right way) to every campaign and ad group. But even a little effort spent on throwing out irrelevant searches and clicks can have major positive impact to your ROI.

Blunder #5 – Ad Scheduling? Sounds like a lot of work.

Running a sale for the next few days? Trying to get customers into the shop during certain hours? Closing your service business up at night?! Regardless of the reason your offer might change over the day, the week, or the year; scheduling your ads to appear at the most relevant times is extremely important.

Ad scheduling can’t control when and what people search, but it sure is helpful for putting up a relevant message at the moments your best customers are likely to be looking for you.

Blunder #6 – Ignoring Search Partner Network Results

Want to make sure you’re wasting some extra cash? Pay no attention to how ads are doing on Google’s Search Partner Network. What’s that? You say you’ve had zero conversions in the past three years? I’d probably just ignore that. If Google adds all of its partner network to your targeting by default, it must be good.

Seriously though, Google is running a business. They have products (ad placements) of differing quality. Some are good for all, and others need to be taken with some extra scrutiny, or not at all.

It’s incumbent on you as the marketer to evaluate where your ads are running and whether they’re running profitably for your business.

Blunder #7 – Opting for CPM Bidding Models. Because who needs performance?

(Turns sarcasm to 11.) Clicks are overrated. And for that matter, so is return on ad spend (RoAS).

In fairness, and in theory, CPM bidding can work but it relies on the assumption that higher impressions always equate to proportionally higher sales, or that your offer is so high-converting that you save money by foregoing any performance (click) guarantees. We know that’s not always true, so it’s generally a very risky strategy. This is especially true if you don’t have time or expertise to closely monitor and manage your campaigns.

One of the best things about search marketing is that you can choose to pay entirely for promising user behavior (clicks). There are very few reasons to let go of this and revert to an advertising model where you’re just paying for ad impressions.

I’m guessing you might have a budget to work within as well. All the more reason to focus every search marketing dollar on those users that look promising today.

Blunder #8 – Not Using Display Impression Caps

Want to annoy the heck out of a prospective customer? A great way to do this is to skip setting impression caps for your display ads. You’ll want those display ads to follow users around the internet, with no escape. Try as they might, they’ll never see your display ads less than 40x per day.

More seriously, the goal of advertising is to give consumers just a little positive nudge in the right direction before, during, and after they make a purchase. You never want to beat them over the head with advertising. Impression caps allow you to effectively and discretely provide that nudge, rather than seeming rude and possibly creepy by showing the same ad 100 times per day.

Blunder #9 – Targeting ALL COUNTRIES

Targeting just the countries you serve sounds like common sense, but it’s surprisingly easy to overlook when setting up your account, especially if you’re not experienced in AdWords. Make sure your location targeting is accurate so you don’t end up wasting your money serving ads in countries on the other side of the planet if your business is elsewhere.

Blunder #10 – Changing Bid Strategy Without Testing Results

Are you currently using Manual CPC but have a hunch that a CPA bid strategy would perform better? Or getting set to target an entirely new theme and set of keywords? Great, go for it, but only if you’ve benchmarked how you’re doing today, and tested performance of the new approach before committing a giant spend.

Completely switching your account’s bid strategy only to find out that you made performance worse for days, weeks, or even months can put a serious damper on morale and budgets. Minimize risk by testing your new strategy on one campaign. If it performs well, then you can roll it out to the rest of the account. But do test, do benchmark, and do iterate deliberately.

Blunder #11 – Not Using RLSA

Say a customer was searching for running shoes. The customer searched “running shoes,” clicked on your ad, didn’t make a purchase, and left your site. Those customers were so close to converting, if only there was a way to give them the final nudge they need. Luckily for us, there is.

Using remarketing lists allows us to target ads to people who exhibit a specific behavior on our site. The target behavior can be just about anything, whether it be spending 100 seconds on the site or abandoning their cart. RLSA is a massively helpful tool for all marketers, so it’s important to utilize it thoughtfully and consistently.

Blunder #12 – Using One Campaign Budget for Your Whole Account Why waste your time creating different campaigns for all your products? Just create one giant campaign and cram everything in there. That way, you don’t have to waste all that time clicking into the different campaigns.

This is another basic but extreme mistake that can really ruin your account’s performance. Campaigns as a subset of Accounts are there for a reason. It allows us to separate our account into related groups so we can be as specific as possible with our advertising in both the creative and the bid optimization. It benefits both the marketer and the consumer if you split up your account into multiple campaign, so please, please do this.

Blunder #13 – Targeting Mobile Traffic to Non-Mobile-Friendly Sites

Every year we hear that mobile search is getting bigger and bigger. Matter of fact, Google announced last week that it’s finally rolling out it’s mobile-first index in a very real way. If you haven’t yet, it’s time to take that seriously and make your website mobile-friendly.

If your website isn’t mobile-friendly yet, do not target mobile traffic. It’s that simple, but that’s a massive audience to miss. If a site’s mobile experience is terrible, mobile users won’t convert, so you’re better of sticking to desktop users until you get your mobile experience fixed (and you should).

Blunder #14 – Search And Display In The Same Campaign

Display and search ads are incredibly different and should be treated as such.

For simple illustration, think about a user’s intent to engage when they proactively search for something on Google, vs. visiting a site to read an article where the right rail has a display ad for something they looked at last week.

It’s not a painstaking process to separate display and search into different campaigns, so take the time clean up your account a bit. You’ll thank me later.

Blunder #15 – Addressing Multiple Keyword Themes in One Ad Group

Using multiple keyword themes in a single ad group isn’t as damaging as some of the others on this list, but it can create confusion or distraction for consumers.

Let’s use a clothing store as an example: You put all of your clothing related keywords in the same ad group. Now, say the ad’s headline says something like “Clothes for Sale” or just “Clothes” (overly generic to make a point). Now, when people search for a more specific “red hat” or “blue shoes”, the generic clothes ad will show up for them. The ad’s not technically wrong, but it would benefit from being a lot more specific. Similarly, you wouldn’t want to show an ad for “red hat” to “blue shoe” searchers, but that’s exactly what can happen if you lump too many topics into a single ad group.

Sorting out your keywords into clear themes and matching those to ad groups allows you to be specific and highly relevant in your ads’ creative and messaging. It just makes the consumer experience that much better.

Blunder #16 – No Analytics

Proof positive that this list is not rank-ordered.

“Marketers got by for years without Google Analytics, so why should you use it? Right??”

This argument reminds me of the person who still insists on using a paper map on road trips when we have incredible GPS systems in our phones. Yes, people did get by before Google Analytics. No, that’s not an excuse to not use it.

Google Analytics is an incredible tool that allows us to make highly educated decisions around basically everything we do as digital marketers. And, it’s free. Learn to use it, and your whole job gets easier, not to mention your results.

Blunder #17 – Always Going For The #1 Spot

As the famous race car driver Ricky Bobby once said: “If you ain’t first, you’re last”. In the world of PPC, that couldn’t be more wrong. Being at the top of search results feels great, but there are many instances where it’s far more beneficial to be in the second or third spot.

For example: You sell T-shirts that go for $20 apiece. Now let’s say ads cost $1 per click to be in the #2 position for a given search term, but would cost $10 to be in the #1 position. $10 per click to sell a $20 T-shirt is likely far too expensive unless your site conversion rate is 60% (in which case, we should all be reading your blog). In this instance, we’d much rather stick with the second spot.

Blunder #18 – No Ad Extensions

Just like a few others on this list, Ad Extensions exist for a very good reason. They’re proven to increase CTR by connecting prospective customers with the right information quickly, which means it’s also a better experience for the consumer. Ad extensions are also incredibly easy to set up and manage, so consider this an easy win.

Blunder #19 – Have Your Ads Link to Irrelevant Pages

This might be my personal favorite. Clicking on an ad only to end up on a completely irrelevant page is guaranteed to leave your prospective customer disoriented and confused. The lesser sin here is sending them to a page that’s completely generic. Luckily, this is an easy fix. If your ad is promoting a specific product or category, send me to the product or category page! If I end up anywhere less specific and relevant than this, something’s wrong.

The Lesson Among the Mistakes

We had a lot of fun trying to think of ways to bungle PPC account setup and management. Some of these mistakes are more ridiculous than others, but the bottom line is that you need to take the time to consider your audience and your message. Use the tools at your disposal to make your account as efficient as possible. Otherwise, you may be losing customers before they even get to your site. And if you’ve got other favorite mistakes, we’d love to hear them in the comments.

https://ift.tt/2HcAToN

[restatebrk24219]

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

Today, for a change of pace we’ll look at how to build the most wasteful, ineffective PPC account possible. The blunders listed here range from ignoring easy wins that could have maximized your ad’s visibility, to lazily throwing ads at every passerby rather than being deliberate and crisp with this incredibly powerful targeting available to digital marketers.

My hope after you read this is that you’ll think twice before taking a shortcut that might seem harmless but can lead to major missed opportunities or mediocre results.

Warning: some sarcasm follows.

Blunder #1 – Using Broad Match Keywords for Everything

To get things off on the wrong foot, let’s start off easy. Ignoring all precise keyword and phrase match targeting options and dumping all your keywords into broad match.

Example: You run a business that sells vintage surf-wear in Honolulu, but you decide to put the keyword “clothes” into broad match.

This might seem extreme, but can you think of a keyword or two in your own PPC account that might benefit from a little more specificity? That one place where you let yourself off the hook saying: “Hey, it’s not perfect, but some of the people who search for this term probably want what we sell.”

Tightening up your keyword lists to be mostly phrase- and exact-match can yield far better results for a much more affordable price.

Blunder #2 – Refusing to Switch to Expanded Text Ads

Have you seen all those pesky notification from Google telling you to upgrade to Expanded Text Ads? Begging you to give prospective customers a little more insight into what you sell and why it would be worth their time to check out. There’s a reason for that.

Google and Bing are constantly trying to create value for searchers and advertisers. They want you to put the right product and message in front of the perfect customer. Sure, it takes some time and elbow grease to update old copy to take advantage of Expanded Text Ads and other changes, but it’s entirely worth it to communicate the value of your offer even more clearly.

Blunder #3 – Not Using Device Bid Modifiers

Is the data telling you that your ads convert twice as well on desktop compared to mobile? Even though that seems like extremely valuable information, practitioners new to PPC or those simply stretched too thin often don’t consider adjusting their ads based on device.

Behavior differences between desktop and mobile are real. There’s an entire section of your paid search analytics and any decent web analytics platform entirely dedicated to telling you about these differences.

There’s no reason and no real excuse not to peek at mobile vs. desktop performance and make intelligent choices about paying for more of the ads that work well.

Blunder #4 – No Negative Keywords

Just because you know your product won’t be interesting to people looking for something entirely different, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t waste money advertising it to them.

Wait, that’s exactly what that means.

Negative keywords are one of the most powerful tools in your belt as a search marketer. As with all things worth doing, it can take a little time to add these (the right way) to every campaign and ad group. But even a little effort spent on throwing out irrelevant searches and clicks can have major positive impact to your ROI.

Blunder #5 – Ad Scheduling? Sounds like a lot of work.

Running a sale for the next few days? Trying to get customers into the shop during certain hours? Closing your service business up at night?! Regardless of the reason your offer might change over the day, the week, or the year; scheduling your ads to appear at the most relevant times is extremely important.

Ad scheduling can’t control when and what people search, but it sure is helpful for putting up a relevant message at the moments your best customers are likely to be looking for you.

Blunder #6 – Ignoring Search Partner Network Results

Want to make sure you’re wasting some extra cash? Pay no attention to how ads are doing on Google’s Search Partner Network. What’s that? You say you’ve had zero conversions in the past three years? I’d probably just ignore that. If Google adds all of its partner network to your targeting by default, it must be good.

Seriously though, Google is running a business. They have products (ad placements) of differing quality. Some are good for all, and others need to be taken with some extra scrutiny, or not at all.

It’s incumbent on you as the marketer to evaluate where your ads are running and whether they’re running profitably for your business.

Blunder #7 – Opting for CPM Bidding Models. Because who needs performance?

(Turns sarcasm to 11.) Clicks are overrated. And for that matter, so is return on ad spend (RoAS).

In fairness, and in theory, CPM bidding can work but it relies on the assumption that higher impressions always equate to proportionally higher sales, or that your offer is so high-converting that you save money by foregoing any performance (click) guarantees. We know that’s not always true, so it’s generally a very risky strategy. This is especially true if you don’t have time or expertise to closely monitor and manage your campaigns.

One of the best things about search marketing is that you can choose to pay entirely for promising user behavior (clicks). There are very few reasons to let go of this and revert to an advertising model where you’re just paying for ad impressions.

I’m guessing you might have a budget to work within as well. All the more reason to focus every search marketing dollar on those users that look promising today.

Blunder #8 – Not Using Display Impression Caps

Want to annoy the heck out of a prospective customer? A great way to do this is to skip setting impression caps for your display ads. You’ll want those display ads to follow users around the internet, with no escape. Try as they might, they’ll never see your display ads less than 40x per day.

More seriously, the goal of advertising is to give consumers just a little positive nudge in the right direction before, during, and after they make a purchase. You never want to beat them over the head with advertising. Impression caps allow you to effectively and discretely provide that nudge, rather than seeming rude and possibly creepy by showing the same ad 100 times per day.

Blunder #9 – Targeting ALL COUNTRIES

Targeting just the countries you serve sounds like common sense, but it’s surprisingly easy to overlook when setting up your account, especially if you’re not experienced in AdWords. Make sure your location targeting is accurate so you don’t end up wasting your money serving ads in countries on the other side of the planet if your business is elsewhere.

Blunder #10 – Changing Bid Strategy Without Testing Results

Are you currently using Manual CPC but have a hunch that a CPA bid strategy would perform better? Or getting set to target an entirely new theme and set of keywords? Great, go for it, but only if you’ve benchmarked how you’re doing today, and tested performance of the new approach before committing a giant spend.

Completely switching your account’s bid strategy only to find out that you made performance worse for days, weeks, or even months can put a serious damper on morale and budgets. Minimize risk by testing your new strategy on one campaign. If it performs well, then you can roll it out to the rest of the account. But do test, do benchmark, and do iterate deliberately.

Blunder #11 – Not Using RLSA

Say a customer was searching for running shoes. The customer searched “running shoes,” clicked on your ad, didn’t make a purchase, and left your site. Those customers were so close to converting, if only there was a way to give them the final nudge they need. Luckily for us, there is.

Using remarketing lists allows us to target ads to people who exhibit a specific behavior on our site. The target behavior can be just about anything, whether it be spending 100 seconds on the site or abandoning their cart. RLSA is a massively helpful tool for all marketers, so it’s important to utilize it thoughtfully and consistently.

Blunder #12 – Using One Campaign Budget for Your Whole Account Why waste your time creating different campaigns for all your products? Just create one giant campaign and cram everything in there. That way, you don’t have to waste all that time clicking into the different campaigns.

This is another basic but extreme mistake that can really ruin your account’s performance. Campaigns as a subset of Accounts are there for a reason. It allows us to separate our account into related groups so we can be as specific as possible with our advertising in both the creative and the bid optimization. It benefits both the marketer and the consumer if you split up your account into multiple campaign, so please, please do this.

Blunder #13 – Targeting Mobile Traffic to Non-Mobile-Friendly Sites

Every year we hear that mobile search is getting bigger and bigger. Matter of fact, Google announced last week that it’s finally rolling out it’s mobile-first index in a very real way. If you haven’t yet, it’s time to take that seriously and make your website mobile-friendly.

If your website isn’t mobile-friendly yet, do not target mobile traffic. It’s that simple, but that’s a massive audience to miss. If a site’s mobile experience is terrible, mobile users won’t convert, so you’re better of sticking to desktop users until you get your mobile experience fixed (and you should).

Blunder #14 – Search And Display In The Same Campaign

Display and search ads are incredibly different and should be treated as such.

For simple illustration, think about a user’s intent to engage when they proactively search for something on Google, vs. visiting a site to read an article where the right rail has a display ad for something they looked at last week.

It’s not a painstaking process to separate display and search into different campaigns, so take the time clean up your account a bit. You’ll thank me later.

Blunder #15 – Addressing Multiple Keyword Themes in One Ad Group

Using multiple keyword themes in a single ad group isn’t as damaging as some of the others on this list, but it can create confusion or distraction for consumers.

Let’s use a clothing store as an example: You put all of your clothing related keywords in the same ad group. Now, say the ad’s headline says something like “Clothes for Sale” or just “Clothes” (overly generic to make a point). Now, when people search for a more specific “red hat” or “blue shoes”, the generic clothes ad will show up for them. The ad’s not technically wrong, but it would benefit from being a lot more specific. Similarly, you wouldn’t want to show an ad for “red hat” to “blue shoe” searchers, but that’s exactly what can happen if you lump too many topics into a single ad group.

Sorting out your keywords into clear themes and matching those to ad groups allows you to be specific and highly relevant in your ads’ creative and messaging. It just makes the consumer experience that much better.

Blunder #16 – No Analytics

Proof positive that this list is not rank-ordered.

“Marketers got by for years without Google Analytics, so why should you use it? Right??”

This argument reminds me of the person who still insists on using a paper map on road trips when we have incredible GPS systems in our phones. Yes, people did get by before Google Analytics. No, that’s not an excuse to not use it.

Google Analytics is an incredible tool that allows us to make highly educated decisions around basically everything we do as digital marketers. And, it’s free. Learn to use it, and your whole job gets easier, not to mention your results.

Blunder #17 – Always Going For The #1 Spot

As the famous race car driver Ricky Bobby once said: “If you ain’t first, you’re last”. In the world of PPC, that couldn’t be more wrong. Being at the top of search results feels great, but there are many instances where it’s far more beneficial to be in the second or third spot.

For example: You sell T-shirts that go for $20 apiece. Now let’s say ads cost $1 per click to be in the #2 position for a given search term, but would cost $10 to be in the #1 position. $10 per click to sell a $20 T-shirt is likely far too expensive unless your site conversion rate is 60% (in which case, we should all be reading your blog). In this instance, we’d much rather stick with the second spot.

Blunder #18 – No Ad Extensions

Just like a few others on this list, Ad Extensions exist for a very good reason. They’re proven to increase CTR by connecting prospective customers with the right information quickly, which means it’s also a better experience for the consumer. Ad extensions are also incredibly easy to set up and manage, so consider this an easy win.

Blunder #19 – Have Your Ads Link to Irrelevant Pages

This might be my personal favorite. Clicking on an ad only to end up on a completely irrelevant page is guaranteed to leave your prospective customer disoriented and confused. The lesser sin here is sending them to a page that’s completely generic. Luckily, this is an easy fix. If your ad is promoting a specific product or category, send me to the product or category page! If I end up anywhere less specific and relevant than this, something’s wrong.

The Lesson Among the Mistakes

We had a lot of fun trying to think of ways to bungle PPC account setup and management. Some of these mistakes are more ridiculous than others, but the bottom line is that you need to take the time to consider your audience and your message. Use the tools at your disposal to make your account as efficient as possible. Otherwise, you may be losing customers before they even get to your site. And if you’ve got other favorite mistakes, we’d love to hear them in the comments.

https://ift.tt/2HcAToN

[realtor10036]

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

Today, for a change of pace we’ll look at how to build the most wasteful, ineffective PPC account possible. The blunders listed here range from ignoring easy wins that could have maximized your ad’s visibility, to lazily throwing ads at every passerby rather than being deliberate and crisp with this incredibly powerful targeting available to digital marketers.

My hope after you read this is that you’ll think twice before taking a shortcut that might seem harmless but can lead to major missed opportunities or mediocre results.

Warning: some sarcasm follows.

Blunder #1 – Using Broad Match Keywords for Everything

To get things off on the wrong foot, let’s start off easy. Ignoring all precise keyword and phrase match targeting options and dumping all your keywords into broad match.

Example: You run a business that sells vintage surf-wear in Honolulu, but you decide to put the keyword “clothes” into broad match.

This might seem extreme, but can you think of a keyword or two in your own PPC account that might benefit from a little more specificity? That one place where you let yourself off the hook saying: “Hey, it’s not perfect, but some of the people who search for this term probably want what we sell.”

Tightening up your keyword lists to be mostly phrase- and exact-match can yield far better results for a much more affordable price.

Blunder #2 – Refusing to Switch to Expanded Text Ads

Have you seen all those pesky notification from Google telling you to upgrade to Expanded Text Ads? Begging you to give prospective customers a little more insight into what you sell and why it would be worth their time to check out. There’s a reason for that.

Google and Bing are constantly trying to create value for searchers and advertisers. They want you to put the right product and message in front of the perfect customer. Sure, it takes some time and elbow grease to update old copy to take advantage of Expanded Text Ads and other changes, but it’s entirely worth it to communicate the value of your offer even more clearly.

Blunder #3 – Not Using Device Bid Modifiers

Is the data telling you that your ads convert twice as well on desktop compared to mobile? Even though that seems like extremely valuable information, practitioners new to PPC or those simply stretched too thin often don’t consider adjusting their ads based on device.

Behavior differences between desktop and mobile are real. There’s an entire section of your paid search analytics and any decent web analytics platform entirely dedicated to telling you about these differences.

There’s no reason and no real excuse not to peek at mobile vs. desktop performance and make intelligent choices about paying for more of the ads that work well.

Blunder #4 – No Negative Keywords

Just because you know your product won’t be interesting to people looking for something entirely different, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t waste money advertising it to them.

Wait, that’s exactly what that means.

Negative keywords are one of the most powerful tools in your belt as a search marketer. As with all things worth doing, it can take a little time to add these (the right way) to every campaign and ad group. But even a little effort spent on throwing out irrelevant searches and clicks can have major positive impact to your ROI.

Blunder #5 – Ad Scheduling? Sounds like a lot of work.

Running a sale for the next few days? Trying to get customers into the shop during certain hours? Closing your service business up at night?! Regardless of the reason your offer might change over the day, the week, or the year; scheduling your ads to appear at the most relevant times is extremely important.

Ad scheduling can’t control when and what people search, but it sure is helpful for putting up a relevant message at the moments your best customers are likely to be looking for you.

Blunder #6 – Ignoring Search Partner Network Results

Want to make sure you’re wasting some extra cash? Pay no attention to how ads are doing on Google’s Search Partner Network. What’s that? You say you’ve had zero conversions in the past three years? I’d probably just ignore that. If Google adds all of its partner network to your targeting by default, it must be good.

Seriously though, Google is running a business. They have products (ad placements) of differing quality. Some are good for all, and others need to be taken with some extra scrutiny, or not at all.

It’s incumbent on you as the marketer to evaluate where your ads are running and whether they’re running profitably for your business.

Blunder #7 – Opting for CPM Bidding Models. Because who needs performance?

(Turns sarcasm to 11.) Clicks are overrated. And for that matter, so is return on ad spend (RoAS).

In fairness, and in theory, CPM bidding can work but it relies on the assumption that higher impressions always equate to proportionally higher sales, or that your offer is so high-converting that you save money by foregoing any performance (click) guarantees. We know that’s not always true, so it’s generally a very risky strategy. This is especially true if you don’t have time or expertise to closely monitor and manage your campaigns.

One of the best things about search marketing is that you can choose to pay entirely for promising user behavior (clicks). There are very few reasons to let go of this and revert to an advertising model where you’re just paying for ad impressions.

I’m guessing you might have a budget to work within as well. All the more reason to focus every search marketing dollar on those users that look promising today.

Blunder #8 – Not Using Display Impression Caps

Want to annoy the heck out of a prospective customer? A great way to do this is to skip setting impression caps for your display ads. You’ll want those display ads to follow users around the internet, with no escape. Try as they might, they’ll never see your display ads less than 40x per day.

More seriously, the goal of advertising is to give consumers just a little positive nudge in the right direction before, during, and after they make a purchase. You never want to beat them over the head with advertising. Impression caps allow you to effectively and discretely provide that nudge, rather than seeming rude and possibly creepy by showing the same ad 100 times per day.

Blunder #9 – Targeting ALL COUNTRIES

Targeting just the countries you serve sounds like common sense, but it’s surprisingly easy to overlook when setting up your account, especially if you’re not experienced in AdWords. Make sure your location targeting is accurate so you don’t end up wasting your money serving ads in countries on the other side of the planet if your business is elsewhere.

Blunder #10 – Changing Bid Strategy Without Testing Results

Are you currently using Manual CPC but have a hunch that a CPA bid strategy would perform better? Or getting set to target an entirely new theme and set of keywords? Great, go for it, but only if you’ve benchmarked how you’re doing today, and tested performance of the new approach before committing a giant spend.

Completely switching your account’s bid strategy only to find out that you made performance worse for days, weeks, or even months can put a serious damper on morale and budgets. Minimize risk by testing your new strategy on one campaign. If it performs well, then you can roll it out to the rest of the account. But do test, do benchmark, and do iterate deliberately.

Blunder #11 – Not Using RLSA

Say a customer was searching for running shoes. The customer searched “running shoes,” clicked on your ad, didn’t make a purchase, and left your site. Those customers were so close to converting, if only there was a way to give them the final nudge they need. Luckily for us, there is.

Using remarketing lists allows us to target ads to people who exhibit a specific behavior on our site. The target behavior can be just about anything, whether it be spending 100 seconds on the site or abandoning their cart. RLSA is a massively helpful tool for all marketers, so it’s important to utilize it thoughtfully and consistently.

Blunder #12 – Using One Campaign Budget for Your Whole Account Why waste your time creating different campaigns for all your products? Just create one giant campaign and cram everything in there. That way, you don’t have to waste all that time clicking into the different campaigns.

This is another basic but extreme mistake that can really ruin your account’s performance. Campaigns as a subset of Accounts are there for a reason. It allows us to separate our account into related groups so we can be as specific as possible with our advertising in both the creative and the bid optimization. It benefits both the marketer and the consumer if you split up your account into multiple campaign, so please, please do this.

Blunder #13 – Targeting Mobile Traffic to Non-Mobile-Friendly Sites

Every year we hear that mobile search is getting bigger and bigger. Matter of fact, Google announced last week that it’s finally rolling out it’s mobile-first index in a very real way. If you haven’t yet, it’s time to take that seriously and make your website mobile-friendly.

If your website isn’t mobile-friendly yet, do not target mobile traffic. It’s that simple, but that’s a massive audience to miss. If a site’s mobile experience is terrible, mobile users won’t convert, so you’re better of sticking to desktop users until you get your mobile experience fixed (and you should).

Blunder #14 – Search And Display In The Same Campaign

Display and search ads are incredibly different and should be treated as such.

For simple illustration, think about a user’s intent to engage when they proactively search for something on Google, vs. visiting a site to read an article where the right rail has a display ad for something they looked at last week.

It’s not a painstaking process to separate display and search into different campaigns, so take the time clean up your account a bit. You’ll thank me later.

Blunder #15 – Addressing Multiple Keyword Themes in One Ad Group

Using multiple keyword themes in a single ad group isn’t as damaging as some of the others on this list, but it can create confusion or distraction for consumers.

Let’s use a clothing store as an example: You put all of your clothing related keywords in the same ad group. Now, say the ad’s headline says something like “Clothes for Sale” or just “Clothes” (overly generic to make a point). Now, when people search for a more specific “red hat” or “blue shoes”, the generic clothes ad will show up for them. The ad’s not technically wrong, but it would benefit from being a lot more specific. Similarly, you wouldn’t want to show an ad for “red hat” to “blue shoe” searchers, but that’s exactly what can happen if you lump too many topics into a single ad group.

Sorting out your keywords into clear themes and matching those to ad groups allows you to be specific and highly relevant in your ads’ creative and messaging. It just makes the consumer experience that much better.

Blunder #16 – No Analytics

Proof positive that this list is not rank-ordered.

“Marketers got by for years without Google Analytics, so why should you use it? Right??”

This argument reminds me of the person who still insists on using a paper map on road trips when we have incredible GPS systems in our phones. Yes, people did get by before Google Analytics. No, that’s not an excuse to not use it.

Google Analytics is an incredible tool that allows us to make highly educated decisions around basically everything we do as digital marketers. And, it’s free. Learn to use it, and your whole job gets easier, not to mention your results.

Blunder #17 – Always Going For The #1 Spot

As the famous race car driver Ricky Bobby once said: “If you ain’t first, you’re last”. In the world of PPC, that couldn’t be more wrong. Being at the top of search results feels great, but there are many instances where it’s far more beneficial to be in the second or third spot.

For example: You sell T-shirts that go for $20 apiece. Now let’s say ads cost $1 per click to be in the #2 position for a given search term, but would cost $10 to be in the #1 position. $10 per click to sell a $20 T-shirt is likely far too expensive unless your site conversion rate is 60% (in which case, we should all be reading your blog). In this instance, we’d much rather stick with the second spot.

Blunder #18 – No Ad Extensions

Just like a few others on this list, Ad Extensions exist for a very good reason. They’re proven to increase CTR by connecting prospective customers with the right information quickly, which means it’s also a better experience for the consumer. Ad extensions are also incredibly easy to set up and manage, so consider this an easy win.

Blunder #19 – Have Your Ads Link to Irrelevant Pages

This might be my personal favorite. Clicking on an ad only to end up on a completely irrelevant page is guaranteed to leave your prospective customer disoriented and confused. The lesser sin here is sending them to a page that’s completely generic. Luckily, this is an easy fix. If your ad is promoting a specific product or category, send me to the product or category page! If I end up anywhere less specific and relevant than this, something’s wrong.

The Lesson Among the Mistakes

We had a lot of fun trying to think of ways to bungle PPC account setup and management. Some of these mistakes are more ridiculous than others, but the bottom line is that you need to take the time to consider your audience and your message. Use the tools at your disposal to make your account as efficient as possible. Otherwise, you may be losing customers before they even get to your site. And if you’ve got other favorite mistakes, we’d love to hear them in the comments.

https://ift.tt/2HcAToN

[bathrem22032]

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

Today, for a change of pace we’ll look at how to build the most wasteful, ineffective PPC account possible. The blunders listed here range from ignoring easy wins that could have maximized your ad’s visibility, to lazily throwing ads at every passerby rather than being deliberate and crisp with this incredibly powerful targeting available to digital marketers.

My hope after you read this is that you’ll think twice before taking a shortcut that might seem harmless but can lead to major missed opportunities or mediocre results.

Warning: some sarcasm follows.

Blunder #1 – Using Broad Match Keywords for Everything

To get things off on the wrong foot, let’s start off easy. Ignoring all precise keyword and phrase match targeting options and dumping all your keywords into broad match.

Example: You run a business that sells vintage surf-wear in Honolulu, but you decide to put the keyword “clothes” into broad match.

This might seem extreme, but can you think of a keyword or two in your own PPC account that might benefit from a little more specificity? That one place where you let yourself off the hook saying: “Hey, it’s not perfect, but some of the people who search for this term probably want what we sell.”

Tightening up your keyword lists to be mostly phrase- and exact-match can yield far better results for a much more affordable price.

Blunder #2 – Refusing to Switch to Expanded Text Ads

Have you seen all those pesky notification from Google telling you to upgrade to Expanded Text Ads? Begging you to give prospective customers a little more insight into what you sell and why it would be worth their time to check out. There’s a reason for that.

Google and Bing are constantly trying to create value for searchers and advertisers. They want you to put the right product and message in front of the perfect customer. Sure, it takes some time and elbow grease to update old copy to take advantage of Expanded Text Ads and other changes, but it’s entirely worth it to communicate the value of your offer even more clearly.

Blunder #3 – Not Using Device Bid Modifiers

Is the data telling you that your ads convert twice as well on desktop compared to mobile? Even though that seems like extremely valuable information, practitioners new to PPC or those simply stretched too thin often don’t consider adjusting their ads based on device.

Behavior differences between desktop and mobile are real. There’s an entire section of your paid search analytics and any decent web analytics platform entirely dedicated to telling you about these differences.

There’s no reason and no real excuse not to peek at mobile vs. desktop performance and make intelligent choices about paying for more of the ads that work well.

Blunder #4 – No Negative Keywords

Just because you know your product won’t be interesting to people looking for something entirely different, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t waste money advertising it to them.

Wait, that’s exactly what that means.

Negative keywords are one of the most powerful tools in your belt as a search marketer. As with all things worth doing, it can take a little time to add these (the right way) to every campaign and ad group. But even a little effort spent on throwing out irrelevant searches and clicks can have major positive impact to your ROI.

Blunder #5 – Ad Scheduling? Sounds like a lot of work.

Running a sale for the next few days? Trying to get customers into the shop during certain hours? Closing your service business up at night?! Regardless of the reason your offer might change over the day, the week, or the year; scheduling your ads to appear at the most relevant times is extremely important.

Ad scheduling can’t control when and what people search, but it sure is helpful for putting up a relevant message at the moments your best customers are likely to be looking for you.

Blunder #6 – Ignoring Search Partner Network Results

Want to make sure you’re wasting some extra cash? Pay no attention to how ads are doing on Google’s Search Partner Network. What’s that? You say you’ve had zero conversions in the past three years? I’d probably just ignore that. If Google adds all of its partner network to your targeting by default, it must be good.

Seriously though, Google is running a business. They have products (ad placements) of differing quality. Some are good for all, and others need to be taken with some extra scrutiny, or not at all.

It’s incumbent on you as the marketer to evaluate where your ads are running and whether they’re running profitably for your business.

Blunder #7 – Opting for CPM Bidding Models. Because who needs performance?

(Turns sarcasm to 11.) Clicks are overrated. And for that matter, so is return on ad spend (RoAS).

In fairness, and in theory, CPM bidding can work but it relies on the assumption that higher impressions always equate to proportionally higher sales, or that your offer is so high-converting that you save money by foregoing any performance (click) guarantees. We know that’s not always true, so it’s generally a very risky strategy. This is especially true if you don’t have time or expertise to closely monitor and manage your campaigns.

One of the best things about search marketing is that you can choose to pay entirely for promising user behavior (clicks). There are very few reasons to let go of this and revert to an advertising model where you’re just paying for ad impressions.

I’m guessing you might have a budget to work within as well. All the more reason to focus every search marketing dollar on those users that look promising today.

Blunder #8 – Not Using Display Impression Caps

Want to annoy the heck out of a prospective customer? A great way to do this is to skip setting impression caps for your display ads. You’ll want those display ads to follow users around the internet, with no escape. Try as they might, they’ll never see your display ads less than 40x per day.

More seriously, the goal of advertising is to give consumers just a little positive nudge in the right direction before, during, and after they make a purchase. You never want to beat them over the head with advertising. Impression caps allow you to effectively and discretely provide that nudge, rather than seeming rude and possibly creepy by showing the same ad 100 times per day.

Blunder #9 – Targeting ALL COUNTRIES

Targeting just the countries you serve sounds like common sense, but it’s surprisingly easy to overlook when setting up your account, especially if you’re not experienced in AdWords. Make sure your location targeting is accurate so you don’t end up wasting your money serving ads in countries on the other side of the planet if your business is elsewhere.

Blunder #10 – Changing Bid Strategy Without Testing Results

Are you currently using Manual CPC but have a hunch that a CPA bid strategy would perform better? Or getting set to target an entirely new theme and set of keywords? Great, go for it, but only if you’ve benchmarked how you’re doing today, and tested performance of the new approach before committing a giant spend.

Completely switching your account’s bid strategy only to find out that you made performance worse for days, weeks, or even months can put a serious damper on morale and budgets. Minimize risk by testing your new strategy on one campaign. If it performs well, then you can roll it out to the rest of the account. But do test, do benchmark, and do iterate deliberately.

Blunder #11 – Not Using RLSA

Say a customer was searching for running shoes. The customer searched “running shoes,” clicked on your ad, didn’t make a purchase, and left your site. Those customers were so close to converting, if only there was a way to give them the final nudge they need. Luckily for us, there is.

Using remarketing lists allows us to target ads to people who exhibit a specific behavior on our site. The target behavior can be just about anything, whether it be spending 100 seconds on the site or abandoning their cart. RLSA is a massively helpful tool for all marketers, so it’s important to utilize it thoughtfully and consistently.

Blunder #12 – Using One Campaign Budget for Your Whole Account Why waste your time creating different campaigns for all your products? Just create one giant campaign and cram everything in there. That way, you don’t have to waste all that time clicking into the different campaigns.

This is another basic but extreme mistake that can really ruin your account’s performance. Campaigns as a subset of Accounts are there for a reason. It allows us to separate our account into related groups so we can be as specific as possible with our advertising in both the creative and the bid optimization. It benefits both the marketer and the consumer if you split up your account into multiple campaign, so please, please do this.

Blunder #13 – Targeting Mobile Traffic to Non-Mobile-Friendly Sites

Every year we hear that mobile search is getting bigger and bigger. Matter of fact, Google announced last week that it’s finally rolling out it’s mobile-first index in a very real way. If you haven’t yet, it’s time to take that seriously and make your website mobile-friendly.

If your website isn’t mobile-friendly yet, do not target mobile traffic. It’s that simple, but that’s a massive audience to miss. If a site’s mobile experience is terrible, mobile users won’t convert, so you’re better of sticking to desktop users until you get your mobile experience fixed (and you should).

Blunder #14 – Search And Display In The Same Campaign

Display and search ads are incredibly different and should be treated as such.

For simple illustration, think about a user’s intent to engage when they proactively search for something on Google, vs. visiting a site to read an article where the right rail has a display ad for something they looked at last week.

It’s not a painstaking process to separate display and search into different campaigns, so take the time clean up your account a bit. You’ll thank me later.

Blunder #15 – Addressing Multiple Keyword Themes in One Ad Group

Using multiple keyword themes in a single ad group isn’t as damaging as some of the others on this list, but it can create confusion or distraction for consumers.

Let’s use a clothing store as an example: You put all of your clothing related keywords in the same ad group. Now, say the ad’s headline says something like “Clothes for Sale” or just “Clothes” (overly generic to make a point). Now, when people search for a more specific “red hat” or “blue shoes”, the generic clothes ad will show up for them. The ad’s not technically wrong, but it would benefit from being a lot more specific. Similarly, you wouldn’t want to show an ad for “red hat” to “blue shoe” searchers, but that’s exactly what can happen if you lump too many topics into a single ad group.

Sorting out your keywords into clear themes and matching those to ad groups allows you to be specific and highly relevant in your ads’ creative and messaging. It just makes the consumer experience that much better.

Blunder #16 – No Analytics

Proof positive that this list is not rank-ordered.

“Marketers got by for years without Google Analytics, so why should you use it? Right??”

This argument reminds me of the person who still insists on using a paper map on road trips when we have incredible GPS systems in our phones. Yes, people did get by before Google Analytics. No, that’s not an excuse to not use it.

Google Analytics is an incredible tool that allows us to make highly educated decisions around basically everything we do as digital marketers. And, it’s free. Learn to use it, and your whole job gets easier, not to mention your results.

Blunder #17 – Always Going For The #1 Spot

As the famous race car driver Ricky Bobby once said: “If you ain’t first, you’re last”. In the world of PPC, that couldn’t be more wrong. Being at the top of search results feels great, but there are many instances where it’s far more beneficial to be in the second or third spot.

For example: You sell T-shirts that go for $20 apiece. Now let’s say ads cost $1 per click to be in the #2 position for a given search term, but would cost $10 to be in the #1 position. $10 per click to sell a $20 T-shirt is likely far too expensive unless your site conversion rate is 60% (in which case, we should all be reading your blog). In this instance, we’d much rather stick with the second spot.

Blunder #18 – No Ad Extensions

Just like a few others on this list, Ad Extensions exist for a very good reason. They’re proven to increase CTR by connecting prospective customers with the right information quickly, which means it’s also a better experience for the consumer. Ad extensions are also incredibly easy to set up and manage, so consider this an easy win.

Blunder #19 – Have Your Ads Link to Irrelevant Pages

This might be my personal favorite. Clicking on an ad only to end up on a completely irrelevant page is guaranteed to leave your prospective customer disoriented and confused. The lesser sin here is sending them to a page that’s completely generic. Luckily, this is an easy fix. If your ad is promoting a specific product or category, send me to the product or category page! If I end up anywhere less specific and relevant than this, something’s wrong.

The Lesson Among the Mistakes

We had a lot of fun trying to think of ways to bungle PPC account setup and management. Some of these mistakes are more ridiculous than others, but the bottom line is that you need to take the time to consider your audience and your message. Use the tools at your disposal to make your account as efficient as possible. Otherwise, you may be losing customers before they even get to your site. And if you’ve got other favorite mistakes, we’d love to hear them in the comments.

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[seocompany35203]

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

19 Extreme PPC Blunders

Today, for a change of pace we’ll look at how to build the most wasteful, ineffective PPC account possible. The blunders listed here range from ignoring easy wins that could have maximized your ad’s visibility, to lazily throwing ads at every passerby rather than being deliberate and crisp with this incredibly powerful targeting available to digital marketers.

My hope after you read this is that you’ll think twice before taking a shortcut that might seem harmless but can lead to major missed opportunities or mediocre results.

Warning: some sarcasm follows.

Blunder #1 – Using Broad Match Keywords for Everything

To get things off on the wrong foot, let’s start off easy. Ignoring all precise keyword and phrase match targeting options and dumping all your keywords into broad match.

Example: You run a business that sells vintage surf-wear in Honolulu, but you decide to put the keyword “clothes” into broad match.

This might seem extreme, but can you think of a keyword or two in your own PPC account that might benefit from a little more specificity? That one place where you let yourself off the hook saying: “Hey, it’s not perfect, but some of the people who search for this term probably want what we sell.”

Tightening up your keyword lists to be mostly phrase- and exact-match can yield far better results for a much more affordable price.

Blunder #2 – Refusing to Switch to Expanded Text Ads

Have you seen all those pesky notification from Google telling you to upgrade to Expanded Text Ads? Begging you to give prospective customers a little more insight into what you sell and why it would be worth their time to check out. There’s a reason for that.

Google and Bing are constantly trying to create value for searchers and advertisers. They want you to put the right product and message in front of the perfect customer. Sure, it takes some time and elbow grease to update old copy to take advantage of Expanded Text Ads and other changes, but it’s entirely worth it to communicate the value of your offer even more clearly.

Blunder #3 – Not Using Device Bid Modifiers

Is the data telling you that your ads convert twice as well on desktop compared to mobile? Even though that seems like extremely valuable information, practitioners new to PPC or those simply stretched too thin often don’t consider adjusting their ads based on device.

Behavior differences between desktop and mobile are real. There’s an entire section of your paid search analytics and any decent web analytics platform entirely dedicated to telling you about these differences.

There’s no reason and no real excuse not to peek at mobile vs. desktop performance and make intelligent choices about paying for more of the ads that work well.

Blunder #4 – No Negative Keywords

Just because you know your product won’t be interesting to people looking for something entirely different, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t waste money advertising it to them.

Wait, that’s exactly what that means.

Negative keywords are one of the most powerful tools in your belt as a search marketer. As with all things worth doing, it can take a little time to add these (the right way) to every campaign and ad group. But even a little effort spent on throwing out irrelevant searches and clicks can have major positive impact to your ROI.

Blunder #5 – Ad Scheduling? Sounds like a lot of work.

Running a sale for the next few days? Trying to get customers into the shop during certain hours? Closing your service business up at night?! Regardless of the reason your offer might change over the day, the week, or the year; scheduling your ads to appear at the most relevant times is extremely important.

Ad scheduling can’t control when and what people search, but it sure is helpful for putting up a relevant message at the moments your best customers are likely to be looking for you.

Blunder #6 – Ignoring Search Partner Network Results

Want to make sure you’re wasting some extra cash? Pay no attention to how ads are doing on Google’s Search Partner Network. What’s that? You say you’ve had zero conversions in the past three years? I’d probably just ignore that. If Google adds all of its partner network to your targeting by default, it must be good.

Seriously though, Google is running a business. They have products (ad placements) of differing quality. Some are good for all, and others need to be taken with some extra scrutiny, or not at all.

It’s incumbent on you as the marketer to evaluate where your ads are running and whether they’re running profitably for your business.

Blunder #7 – Opting for CPM Bidding Models. Because who needs performance?

(Turns sarcasm to 11.) Clicks are overrated. And for that matter, so is return on ad spend (RoAS).

In fairness, and in theory, CPM bidding can work but it relies on the assumption that higher impressions always equate to proportionally higher sales, or that your offer is so high-converting that you save money by foregoing any performance (click) guarantees. We know that’s not always true, so it’s generally a very risky strategy. This is especially true if you don’t have time or expertise to closely monitor and manage your campaigns.

One of the best things about search marketing is that you can choose to pay entirely for promising user behavior (clicks). There are very few reasons to let go of this and revert to an advertising model where you’re just paying for ad impressions.

I’m guessing you might have a budget to work within as well. All the more reason to focus every search marketing dollar on those users that look promising today.

Blunder #8 – Not Using Display Impression Caps

Want to annoy the heck out of a prospective customer? A great way to do this is to skip setting impression caps for your display ads. You’ll want those display ads to follow users around the internet, with no escape. Try as they might, they’ll never see your display ads less than 40x per day.

More seriously, the goal of advertising is to give consumers just a little positive nudge in the right direction before, during, and after they make a purchase. You never want to beat them over the head with advertising. Impression caps allow you to effectively and discretely provide that nudge, rather than seeming rude and possibly creepy by showing the same ad 100 times per day.

Blunder #9 – Targeting ALL COUNTRIES

Targeting just the countries you serve sounds like common sense, but it’s surprisingly easy to overlook when setting up your account, especially if you’re not experienced in AdWords. Make sure your location targeting is accurate so you don’t end up wasting your money serving ads in countries on the other side of the planet if your business is elsewhere.

Blunder #10 – Changing Bid Strategy Without Testing Results

Are you currently using Manual CPC but have a hunch that a CPA bid strategy would perform better? Or getting set to target an entirely new theme and set of keywords? Great, go for it, but only if you’ve benchmarked how you’re doing today, and tested performance of the new approach before committing a giant spend.

Completely switching your account’s bid strategy only to find out that you made performance worse for days, weeks, or even months can put a serious damper on morale and budgets. Minimize risk by testing your new strategy on one campaign. If it performs well, then you can roll it out to the rest of the account. But do test, do benchmark, and do iterate deliberately.

Blunder #11 – Not Using RLSA

Say a customer was searching for running shoes. The customer searched “running shoes,” clicked on your ad, didn’t make a purchase, and left your site. Those customers were so close to converting, if only there was a way to give them the final nudge they need. Luckily for us, there is.

Using remarketing lists allows us to target ads to people who exhibit a specific behavior on our site. The target behavior can be just about anything, whether it be spending 100 seconds on the site or abandoning their cart. RLSA is a massively helpful tool for all marketers, so it’s important to utilize it thoughtfully and consistently.

Blunder #12 – Using One Campaign Budget for Your Whole Account Why waste your time creating different campaigns for all your products? Just create one giant campaign and cram everything in there. That way, you don’t have to waste all that time clicking into the different campaigns.

This is another basic but extreme mistake that can really ruin your account’s performance. Campaigns as a subset of Accounts are there for a reason. It allows us to separate our account into related groups so we can be as specific as possible with our advertising in both the creative and the bid optimization. It benefits both the marketer and the consumer if you split up your account into multiple campaign, so please, please do this.

Blunder #13 – Targeting Mobile Traffic to Non-Mobile-Friendly Sites

Every year we hear that mobile search is getting bigger and bigger. Matter of fact, Google announced last week that it’s finally rolling out it’s mobile-first index in a very real way. If you haven’t yet, it’s time to take that seriously and make your website mobile-friendly.

If your website isn’t mobile-friendly yet, do not target mobile traffic. It’s that simple, but that’s a massive audience to miss. If a site’s mobile experience is terrible, mobile users won’t convert, so you’re better of sticking to desktop users until you get your mobile experience fixed (and you should).

Blunder #14 – Search And Display In The Same Campaign

Display and search ads are incredibly different and should be treated as such.

For simple illustration, think about a user’s intent to engage when they proactively search for something on Google, vs. visiting a site to read an article where the right rail has a display ad for something they looked at last week.

It’s not a painstaking process to separate display and search into different campaigns, so take the time clean up your account a bit. You’ll thank me later.

Blunder #15 – Addressing Multiple Keyword Themes in One Ad Group

Using multiple keyword themes in a single ad group isn’t as damaging as some of the others on this list, but it can create confusion or distraction for consumers.

Let’s use a clothing store as an example: You put all of your clothing related keywords in the same ad group. Now, say the ad’s headline says something like “Clothes for Sale” or just “Clothes” (overly generic to make a point). Now, when people search for a more specific “red hat” or “blue shoes”, the generic clothes ad will show up for them. The ad’s not technically wrong, but it would benefit from being a lot more specific. Similarly, you wouldn’t want to show an ad for “red hat” to “blue shoe” searchers, but that’s exactly what can happen if you lump too many topics into a single ad group.

Sorting out your keywords into clear themes and matching those to ad groups allows you to be specific and highly relevant in your ads’ creative and messaging. It just makes the consumer experience that much better.

Blunder #16 – No Analytics

Proof positive that this list is not rank-ordered.

“Marketers got by for years without Google Analytics, so why should you use it? Right??”

This argument reminds me of the person who still insists on using a paper map on road trips when we have incredible GPS systems in our phones. Yes, people did get by before Google Analytics. No, that’s not an excuse to not use it.

Google Analytics is an incredible tool that allows us to make highly educated decisions around basically everything we do as digital marketers. And, it’s free. Learn to use it, and your whole job gets easier, not to mention your results.

Blunder #17 – Always Going For The #1 Spot

As the famous race car driver Ricky Bobby once said: “If you ain’t first, you’re last”. In the world of PPC, that couldn’t be more wrong. Being at the top of search results feels great, but there are many instances where it’s far more beneficial to be in the second or third spot.

For example: You sell T-shirts that go for $20 apiece. Now let’s say ads cost $1 per click to be in the #2 position for a given search term, but would cost $10 to be in the #1 position. $10 per click to sell a $20 T-shirt is likely far too expensive unless your site conversion rate is 60% (in which case, we should all be reading your blog). In this instance, we’d much rather stick with the second spot.

Blunder #18 – No Ad Extensions

Just like a few others on this list, Ad Extensions exist for a very good reason. They’re proven to increase CTR by connecting prospective customers with the right information quickly, which means it’s also a better experience for the consumer. Ad extensions are also incredibly easy to set up and manage, so consider this an easy win.

Blunder #19 – Have Your Ads Link to Irrelevant Pages

This might be my personal favorite. Clicking on an ad only to end up on a completely irrelevant page is guaranteed to leave your prospective customer disoriented and confused. The lesser sin here is sending them to a page that’s completely generic. Luckily, this is an easy fix. If your ad is promoting a specific product or category, send me to the product or category page! If I end up anywhere less specific and relevant than this, something’s wrong.

The Lesson Among the Mistakes

We had a lot of fun trying to think of ways to bungle PPC account setup and management. Some of these mistakes are more ridiculous than others, but the bottom line is that you need to take the time to consider your audience and your message. Use the tools at your disposal to make your account as efficient as possible. Otherwise, you may be losing customers before they even get to your site. And if you’ve got other favorite mistakes, we’d love to hear them in the comments.

https://ift.tt/2HcAToN