#trasdobc

[a-writing-otter]

Chapters: 10/11 Fandom: Gravity Falls Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bill Cipher/Ford Pines, Fiddleford H. McGucket/Stan Pines Characters: Bill Cipher, Ford Pines, Wendy Corduroy, Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Original Characters, Stan Pines, Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez, Melody (Gravity Falls), Gideon Gleeful, Pacifica Northwest, Mrs. Gleeful (Gravity Falls), Fiddleford H. McGucket Additional Tags: Handyman Bill Cipher, Post-Book: The Book of Bill (Gravity Falls), Temporarily Human Bill Cipher, Blood and Injury, Unsuccessful Murder Attempts, Demon possession, Making Out, Smoking, Bill is Trying to Tap That So Hard, Alcohol, Underage Drinking, (Like only a little), Demon Exorcism, Bill Cipher is a Magical Girl, Top Bill Cipher, Bottom Ford Pines, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Biting, Tongue Sucking, Throat Bulge, Multiple hands Summary:

Things are complicated in Bill’s life as it is now that he’s in a human body on glorified house arrest while doing community service as the new handyman for the Mystery Shack, what he doesn’t need it a situationship-turned-maybe-just-ship with Ford Pines.

…maybe he shouldn’t seek it out either, but that’s besides the point. He’s got one goal and that’s to get back in his body, get his powers back, and far away from this rock.

So, when salvation comes in the form of a former fling spinning plans about how to get his revenge and eat it, too, Bill’s all too eager to listen. It’s not like he cares about these people, this place, or anything else here. He’s got plans, big plans, and there’s nothing that can stop him, not even these squishy, human emotions he’s starting to feel.

[a-writing-otter]

WIP Wednesday - Chapter 9 of the Redemption and Subsequent Death of Bill Cipher

“Okay. Okay. One more time.”

Bill shakes himself off, eyes fixed on where Red and Dipper are standing. Dipper is sitting on the back of Question Mark’s pickup truck with his notebook and Red is standing there, twirling an axe in her hand. Bill is stanced in front of a target, facing them.

As of three days ago, Bill is back on his feet and back to work. After waking up and being cognizant enough to actually function in Ford’s room, they’d made him lay back for another day. While Bill put up a good bit of complaint about it, it wasn’t all that bad, mostly because Ford stayed with him and pet his hair and let him stay in his bed.

Again, things aren’t exactly back to the way they were before, but there’s marked improvement. Ford will be in the same room as him again, talks to him again, even seeks him out. The night before, they’d just sat on the roof of the Mystery Shack looking at the stars and talking in a way that made Bill remember again how things had been thirty years prior.

In addition to whatever is repairing between him and Ford, Bill has devoted all spare energy to trying to get that alternate form to come out. They’ve tried meditation and clenching and willing it into being, but nothing has worked. The last solution was near-death experiences.

Thus Red, her axe, and a large target behind Bill.

“Ready?” Red asks, tossing the axe up and down in her hand for a second.

Shaking his shoulders out, Bill nods.

“Ready.”

“Alright then. Three… two—“

Red throws it on two, it sails right past Bill’s ear, Bill screams, and nothing else happens.

“What happened to ‘go on one’?!” Bill shrieks when he comes back to himself, heart hammering in his chest.

“It’s no fun if you expect it,” Red laughs, going over to collect her axe where it is sunk deep into the target beside Bill. “We’re trying to simulate a ‘near death experience’.”

“Yeah, well—“

“What are you doing?”

The three of them look up to see Ford and Mabel wandering to them. Ford is staring at Bill like he’s got three heads while Red pulls the axe out and puts it on her shoulder.

“I actually don’t know how to answer that question,” Bill confesses.

“We’re seeing if we can coax that other version of Bill out through fear,” Dipper says instead.

“By throwing axes at him?” Ford doesn’t sound mad, almost unimpressed. “There’s better ways to scare him.”

“Well, if you’ve got anything better, I’ll hear it. Nothing’s happening,” Bill tells him.

“Short of just praying that it happens when it happens, we’ve tried everything I would normally suggest,” Dipper notes from the truck.

And that’s the problem, isn’t it?

“You could try the ‘Mew Mew Kissy Cutie’ method?” Mabel suggests, climbing up into the truck to sit next to Dipper.

Ford and Bill both blink at her while Red groans and rolls her eyes.

“The what?” Bill asks.

“It’s a stupid kid’s show,” Red dismisses.

“It is an ‘anime’,” Mabel corrects with a good deal of gravitas, “and it is a very important anime.”

“Those are the shows that Soos watches sometimes, right?” Ford recalls and Mabel nods enthusiastically.

“Soos showed them to me! It’s about a magical girl!”

“Magical—” Bill starts.

“Girl?” and Ford finishes.

“Well, I’m not magic or a girl.”

Dipper makes a thoughtful sound.

“You are magical and, technically, you aren’t a boy or a girl, you’re a demon.”

“I mean, yes, your binary understanding of gender doesn’t work outside of your realm, but according to the fake ID your grunkle got me so I can buy various age-appropriate implements, I’m a man.”

“It’s not about being a boy or a girl,” Mabel insists before standing, striking a pose, “it’s about saving the world and doing so in a cute outfit and magical powers! One of those things is taken care of.”

“…but I can’t access the magical powers,” Bill reminds. It’s stupid, incredibly stupid, but at this point, they’ve only got so many options.

“Alright, what do I do?”

Mabel energetically jumps down from the truck and goes over to him.

“So, the first thing you do is you have to spin around in a circle and put your arms above your head. After a couple circles, you stop, you strike a pose, and you wink.”

“…I do what?”

“You know, you—“ And Mabel comes closer before lifting her arms above her head. She turns in a neat circle a couple of times before stopping short, hip popped with one hand on it and the other holding a peace sign next to her face.

Bill blinks at her.

“You’re kidding.”

“You heard her,” Ford insists, sounding amused. “You spin in a circle with your hands above your—“

“You just want to see me dance around and make an idiot of myself.”

“The concept has merit, yes,” Ford teases.

Bill waves him off before looking down at Mabel. “I seriously have to do all of that?”

Mabel nods energetically.

The entire group is staring at Bill hopefully and— Look, they’re desperate at this point. …what’s the worst that happens, honestly?

Bill lets out a deep sigh, squaring his shoulders, and muttering under his breath about “stupid powers” and “stupid magical girls”. Stopping a few paces away, he takes a deep breath in, willing the pale heat in his face to die down.

He lifts his arms over his head, spins in two circles before doing the same move as Mabel before stopping, hip popped, hand on his hip, and peace sign near his face.

Nothing happens.

Ford immediately bursts into laughter and Bill throws his hands up.

[a-writing-otter]

Chapters: 3/11 Fandom: Gravity Falls Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bill Cipher/Ford Pines Characters: Bill Cipher, Ford Pines, Wendy Corduroy, Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Original Characters, Stan Pines, Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez, Melody (Gravity Falls) Additional Tags: Handyman Bill Cipher, Post-Book: The Book of Bill (Gravity Falls), Temporarily Human Bill Cipher Summary:

Things are complicated in Bill’s life as it is now that he’s in a human body on glorified house arrest while doing community service as the new handyman for the Mystery Shack, what he doesn’t need it a situationship-turned-maybe-just-ship with Ford Pines.

…maybe he shouldn’t seek it out either, but that’s besides the point. He’s got one goal and that’s to get back in his body, get his powers back, and far away from this rock.

So, when salvation comes in the form of a former fling spinning plans about how to get his revenge and eat it, too, Bill’s all too eager to listen. It’s not like he cares about these people, this place, or anything else here. He’s got plans, big plans, and there’s nothing that can stop him, not even these squishy, human emotions he’s starting to feel.

[a-writing-otter]

WIP Wednesday - Chapter 10 of The Redemption and Subsequent Death of Bill Cipher

Bill is drinking tea as he looks down at Dipper’s journal. The most recent pages are several detailed descriptions and theories revolving the entity known as Copernicus (Less of an “entity” and more of a “pain in the ass” in Bill’s opinion, but tom-may-to, to-mah-to). After wading through what memories he’s got, Bill has divulged everything he can come up with on both the demon himself and incubi in general.

“So, they’re only as strong as who they’re feeding off of?” Dipper asks, scribbling something down.

Bill makes a halfway gesture.

“They’re only as strong as the strength they’ve accumulated and the realm that they’re rooted to. Copernicus feeds on this realm, most incubi do because it’s a plane rife with people who all hate their lives and are willing to indulge in anything to escape it. The goal is to feed here and tear it up in another dimension, usually the Nightmare Realm. Copernicus wants to feed and tear it up here, so he needs to bring his roots into this realm. If he does that, he doesn’t need Dottie Gleeful anymore and can just walk around and cause indiscriminate chaos.”

“Which is why he needs the rift opened—“

“So he can squeeze his scrawny ass through,” Bill mutters into the tea before taking a sip.

“How do we avoid doing that while getting him out of a person?”

Bill comes a little closer over Dipper’s shoulder.

“Your uncle’s working on that right now,” Bill mumbles before pointing at the book and the drawing that Dipper has rendered of Copernicus’ previous demon form, per Bill’s description. “Good sketch, kid.”

Dipper smiles up at him before turning back to it.

“What does he look like normally?”

Bill sighs at that.

“Well, it’s… a little more complicated.” He stares down into the cup for a second. “I always knew him like that, as a diamond with three eyes, similar to the way I used to look, but a different shape, color, and eyes set-up. He also likes neck-ties and bowler hats.”

“But?”

“But incubi are a lot more fluid with their form,” Bill explains. “He put that form on to appease me. To… To make me feel less alone.”

Copernicus, once upon a time, had been very good at that. Up until a couple of months prior, he hadn’t remembered their time together unfondly. Copernicus had been a pretty good boyfriend, all things considered. They’d drifted the Nightmare Realm together, caused undue chaos, and when Bill had told him about the things he heard, the things he saw, Copernicus believed him.

Another universe, they might have ruled this stupid planet together.

But now Bill wants to “protect it” and that kind of throws a wrench in everything else.

Not to mention his current “boyfriend” situation which is less of a “boyfriend” situation and a “maybe-not-also-kind-of-yes-boyfriend-situation”. Which, like, now isn’t exactly the time to quantify that just because they slept together.

And Bill said that he loves him.

And neither of them have commented on it in the few days since.

It’s fine. It’s good. All fine. Time to figure this stuff out once they dealt with everything else.

Right.

“What’s he look like when he’s normal?”

It takes a second for Bill to conjure the image, thinking back to the dream he’d had before they exorcised him.

“Kind of… amorphous. A cloud, grey-purple in color. Lots of hands and eyes. God, Cooper’s really just eyes. Incubi tend to have very fluid forms, lets them adapt to different forms with ease.”

“So if he is able to get the rift open—“

“No, he won’t just turn into anyone.” Bill lets out an almost bitter laugh. “He’s vain as anything, you saw the way he was with Dottie. He’s got forms he favors and he’ll turn into one of those. But, we’re not opening the rift, so it’s not really an issue that we—“

“We’re going to open the rift,” Ford announces as he walks into the kitchen.

“Oh, look,” Bill glances to Dipper, “your uncle’s gone crazy.”

[a-writing-otter]

Chapters: 8/11 Fandom: Gravity Falls Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bill Cipher/Ford Pines Characters: Bill Cipher, Ford Pines, Wendy Corduroy, Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Original Characters, Stan Pines, Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez, Melody (Gravity Falls), Gideon Gleeful, Pacifica Northwest, Mrs. Gleeful (Gravity Falls) Additional Tags: Handyman Bill Cipher, Post-Book: The Book of Bill (Gravity Falls), Temporarily Human Bill Cipher, Blood and Injury, Unsuccessful Murder Attempts, Demon possession, Making Out, Smoking, Bill is Trying to Tap That So Hard, Alcohol, Underage Drinking, (Like only a little), Demon Exorcism, Bill Cipher is a Magical Girl Summary:

Things are complicated in Bill’s life as it is now that he’s in a human body on glorified house arrest while doing community service as the new handyman for the Mystery Shack, what he doesn’t need it a situationship-turned-maybe-just-ship with Ford Pines.

…maybe he shouldn’t seek it out either, but that’s besides the point. He’s got one goal and that’s to get back in his body, get his powers back, and far away from this rock.

So, when salvation comes in the form of a former fling spinning plans about how to get his revenge and eat it, too, Bill’s all too eager to listen. It’s not like he cares about these people, this place, or anything else here. He’s got plans, big plans, and there’s nothing that can stop him, not even these squishy, human emotions he’s starting to feel.

[a-writing-otter]

Chapters: 7/11 Fandom: Gravity Falls Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bill Cipher/Ford Pines Characters: Bill Cipher, Ford Pines, Wendy Corduroy, Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Original Characters, Stan Pines, Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez, Melody (Gravity Falls), Gideon Gleeful, Pacifica Northwest, Mrs. Gleeful (Gravity Falls) Additional Tags: Handyman Bill Cipher, Post-Book: The Book of Bill (Gravity Falls), Temporarily Human Bill Cipher, Blood and Injury, Unsuccessful Murder Attempts, Demon possession, Making Out, Smoking, Bill is Trying to Tap That So Hard, Alcohol, Underage Drinking, (Like only a little), Demon Exorcism Summary:

Things are complicated in Bill’s life as it is now that he’s in a human body on glorified house arrest while doing community service as the new handyman for the Mystery Shack, what he doesn’t need it a situationship-turned-maybe-just-ship with Ford Pines.

…maybe he shouldn’t seek it out either, but that’s besides the point. He’s got one goal and that’s to get back in his body, get his powers back, and far away from this rock.

So, when salvation comes in the form of a former fling spinning plans about how to get his revenge and eat it, too, Bill’s all too eager to listen. It’s not like he cares about these people, this place, or anything else here. He’s got plans, big plans, and there’s nothing that can stop him, not even these squishy, human emotions he’s starting to feel.

[a-writing-otter]

WIP Wednesday - Chapter 6 of The Redemption and Subsequent Death of Bill Cipher

“Am I— Did I interrupt something?” Stan asks a little awkwardly.

“Nah,” Bill, who recovers much faster from gaping at Stan like a fish, leans back into the bench before punching Pine Tree’s shoulder. “Kid was just heading out to go break windows or something.”

“Better hope it’s not these windows or [you’re] cleaning it up,” Stan tells Bill before reaching out, shoving the bill of Pine Tree’s hat down over his eyes. Pine Tree grumbles and fixes it before turning a far brighter smile on Stan.

“Your sister’s looking for you. Something about trying to make a suit out of glitter.”

“Oh. Great.” Pine Tree rubs his face and gets to his feet. “Thanks, Grunkle Stan.”

He goes to the door and pauses to look at Bill for a second.

“Just… you know, I think you’re right. I think things will be okay again soon.”

Bill’s brow furrows as Pine Tree heads back inside before he starts chuckling as he shakes his head.

“Weird kid.”

“They’re receptive,” Stan says as he takes up Pine Tree’s seat and Bill tries not to groan. “Not that you’ve made it exactly hard to miss that things are weird between you and my brother. I think the temperature in the room drops by ten degrees every time one of you walks into it. And I thought things were bad with my ex-wife! Ha!”

Bill winces at that, pulling a face as he leans forward to bury his face in his hands.

“Yeah, well, we weren’t even dating—“

“No, you two were just sucking face anytime you were left unsupervised.”

“Please, Pine Tree already got onto me for this. I fucked up and—“

“Summoned a demon, yeah, I heard.”

Bill’s blood runs cold and he looks between his fingers at Stan. …he’s not swinging, he’s not snarling, and Bill can say he’s almost positive that this isn’t Stan then.

“…and you’re cool with that?”

“What? Oh, no, absolutely not. I almost strangled you in your sleep when my brother told me.”

Billy, admittedly, feels a little better with that admission.

“He also said that you came to him to get rid of said demon.”

“Yeah, well… I don’t know. Taking over the universe is so last year.”

Stan snorts at that.

“You’re, like, really cool with that?” Bill tries again. “Don’t want to, I don’t know, punch me in the eye?”

Now Stan shrugs.

“I wouldn’t go that far, but I think watching you walk around on eggshells, convinced one of us is going to take a swing at you or tell the Axolotl—“

“Axo— Oh, wait, no, you said it right.”

“I listen. I’m just saying, you know, you with your tail between your legs ain’t a bad look. Certainly makes me feel better.”

“…but, like, the whole breaking your brother’s heart? Trying to take over the universe? You’re sure you’ve got no murder held in your very large, very family-oriented heart?”

“Don’t go tempting me, Cipher, but… Ford’s an adult, you’re… maybe an adult, I don’t know, how do demons age?”

“Depends,” Bill admits, pulling a face. “Interdimensional demons live to about a hundred millennia or so, sometimes longer if they take care of themselves.”

“You said you were a dream demon though,” Stan remembers.

“Yeah, well, that’s a little more… complicated.”

Stan cracks open his pitt cola and gestures to Bill. He debates for a second before taking in a deep breath and sighing.

“I was born an interdimensional demon, a very precocious, adorable thing. Even though they’re relatively harmless, mostly brokers for deals made between species, they’ve got their own power. It doesn’t help that I was born… different.”

Bill’s voice gets soft, thoughtful.

“They tried to understand me, probably. They couldn’t though. A world full of two-dimensional idiots, they never understood what I saw, understood how I felt. So it was, you know, a little…”

“Othering?” Stan offers and Bill nods.

“Othering. Everyone adored me. ‘Special Billy’, ‘unique Billy’, ‘Billy who sees things no one else can see’.” […crazy Billy.]

Bill grips the bench a little too tight, knuckles turning white as he looks down at the ground.

“I won’t bore you with the sob story of a universe lost to a monster,” and maybe because it’s bad enough to admit it to Ford, admitting it to Stan who he still doesn’t trust not to come swinging at him is another thing, “but I ended up alone. I was drifting through time and space for, easily, a couple millennia. I spent a lot of time floating amongst the stars I’d stared at so long. I saw galaxies born, galaxies die; I saw nebulae explode and reform; stars would go through entire lifecycles in front of my eyes. It was me and the cosmos, so I guess I didn’t feel alone.

[a-writing-otter]

WIP Wednesday - Chapter 4 of The Redemption and Subsequent Death of Bill Cipher

Bill’s entire body is clenched as he stares down at Ford. The hand holding to the knife is aching with how hard Bill is holding onto it, wanting nothing more than to throw it down, but knowing he’ll hurt Ford likely if he just drops it.

“Are you awake?”

Bill can’t even begin to form words to answer Ford’s question, just barely managing to give a stiff nod in response.

“Okay.” Ford’s words are easy, calm, and the only thing keeping Bill from spiraling out of control. “I’m going to take the knife from you now.”

And just as controlled, Ford pulls Bill’s hand down slowly, then uncurls his trembling fingers, and puts the knife down on the end table. The action proceeds to make all of Bill’s ability to stand rush out of him. Once again, his legs give out from under his body, but rather than falling to the floor or collapsing on the stairs, Ford guides him to the bed beside him.

“You’re okay. It’s okay,” Ford soothes and Bill realizes his face is in Ford’s chest with Ford’s arms tight around him. “It’s okay.”

Once more, Bill tries to open his mouth, to say literally anything, but the only sound that manages to escape is a sob. All at once, he seems to realize he’s got tears streaming down his cheeks and his entire body caves as he bawls into Ford’s chest.

Not once during this episode does Ford let go. Ford swings Bill’s legs up onto the bed, settles them in so that they’re lying together while he holds Bill’s head with one hand, rubs his back with the other. The crying doesn’t stop and Bill is… is [disgusted] with himself, this pitiful, sniveling display. However, no amount of disgust is stopping him from unraveling in Ford’s arms as he finds himself clinging to Ford’s chest as his shoulders shake and he gasps and cries for minutes on end.

Then all at once, it dries up. His gasping sobs peter off, even with the tears still slowly coming, but Bill now just frozen. Ford is still petting his hair, still rubbing his back, and maybe that’s the only thing keeping him tethered to this world.

“Feel better?”

Bill still can’t quite find words, so he shakes his head in the negative and Ford’s hands don’t stop.

“Take your time.”

Bill isn’t sure how much longer they stay like that, but the position becomes uncomfortable and, more than that, this deep shame takes root in him. Bill finally starts to pull away to sit up. Ford does let him go, but sits up with him and only then is Bill able to take full inventory of the damage to Ford’s face. His hands go up, thumb streaking across the mess of blood that’s on his cheek and likely in Bill’s hair now.

“I— I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

Ford takes his hands and holds them in his own. The look on his face isn’t angry or judgmental, it’s surprisingly… soft. His thumb rubs over Bill’s knuckles for a second as he makes a shushing sound.

“I’m okay. You’ve done far worse to me before.”

And that more than anything else seems to shut Bill up, his mouth closing with a click of his teeth especially when the bastard has the audacity to [smile] about it.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?”

Frankly, no, because he doesn’t like this flighty fear he’s feeling in his chest, this nausea that’s been reoccurring for nights. He just wants to run, to go to another universe and not have to deal with problems there.

But he can’t, so he doesn’t, so he gives a little nod.

“Has this happened before?” Ford asks when despite his nod, Bill remains silent. Bill nods again.

“Have you hurt anyone else?”

Bill shakes his head.

“Do you usually wake up?”

And, again, Bill nods.

“It only happens in your sleep?”

Another nod.

Bill seizes up when Ford reaches out again, pulling him to his chest. He wants to stay scrunched up and uncomfortable, this should be uncomfortable, but— but Ford is warm and he’s sturdy under Bill and his body traitorously gives in. His head fits against the crook of Ford’s shoulder and when Ford adjusts, lays his head on his, Bill almost sobs again.

[a-writing-otter]

WIP Wednesday from “The Redemption and Subsequent Death of Bill Cipher”

“I— I tripped,” Bill lies swallowing back the bile in his throat. Whether Stan believes him or not is another story. He squints at him and then at where Bill’s managed to knock over the fire poker stand in his fall. Bill swallows thickly, his pulse heavy in his throat

Hours pass in the time that they stand there before Stan shakes himself off, grunting.

“Barging around here in the middle of the night, you’ll wake everyone up.”

And to Bill’s surprise, Stan holds a hand out. Bill is still shaking as he takes it and stands, brushing himself off.

“Thanks,” he grits out, pointedly not looking at Stan. They hover there for a moment before there’s suddenly a hand on his shoulder.

“You usually sleep through the night. You, uh, have a, uh, bad dream?”

Bill can’t help the way he’s staring at Stan like he’s got three heads (that might even be normal than this given everything that Bill has seen in his time outside of this realm).

“What’s it to you?” Bill snaps only for Stan’s nose to wrinkle. “Why do you care?”

“I don’t,” Stan shakes off, letting go of Bill. “But if you’re gonna go running around here causing a ruckus and waking everyone up, then that’s a problem!”

“I wasn’t trying to do anything, I tripped!”

“Well, I—“ Stan cuts himself off, eyes closed and a vein throbbing in his forehead. He forces a breath out through his mouth and Bill feels like he’s standing on eggshells without trying to break them.

“Look,” Stan begins, more gathered. “I’m just trying to— We’re gonna have to be around each other for the summer, until this… this,” and he gestures to Bill, “gets figured out. I don’t know if you usually have nightmares in your normal dorito shaped version of you. They’re pretty normal for humans though.”

The fact that Stan, Stanley Pines, is being nice to him is enough to get Bill to shut up and keep from snapping at him that Bill knows what a nightmare is. Hells, what is happening?

“Just— If you had a nightmare, tea helps, you know?”

Bill realizes after a moment that he’s nodding, not sure what else to do.

“Do you—“ Stan looks like he’s bracing himself. “Do you want— tea?”

He winces and then Bill winces and then they are both pointedly looking away from each other.

“Tea. Tea would be nice,” Bill finally responds in spite of the nausea.

It’s how they end up in the kitchen, Bill sitting at the dining table and staring at said table like he’s trying to see through it. Stan is facing the stove, poking at the kettle and fussing with the knobs. Neither of them speak for the longest time and Bill’s almost convinced he’s going to get to get away with this silence as Stan sets down a steaming mug of tea in front of him.

“Look. This thing with my brother—“

“There’s nothing going on with—!” Bill immediately rushes to cut him off, something almost desperate in the words.

“Dear god, Bill, let me finish!” Stan winces at the way his voice carries, clears his throat, and then continues. “Whatever this thing you have going on with my brother, just… keep it away from the kids, alright?”

Bill blinks rather stupidly at Stan. On the short list of things he expects Stan to say to him, which isn’t a lot considering they decidedly do not talk to each other, giving some kind of permission for this thing that definitely doesn’t exist between him and Ford is not it.

“…you’re okay with it?”

Stan scoffs.

“Not even a little. If it were up to me, I’d keep you a billion miles away from my whole family. But,” and he sighs, “Ford’s a… stubborn asshole. And I’ve never seen him so much as look at another human being, let alone have whatever happened a few nights ago happen. And it’s a little less distressing that you’re not, you know.” He makes a face.

“A triangle?” Bill offers up.

“Yeah. That.” Stan mutters something about “damn nerd loving geometry” before continuing. “He’s never shown interest in people except for you. I’d tell him to get taste, but apparently he’s not interested in that and if I try and tell him off, he’s just going to double down.”

“First of all, I am an incredible catch and literally anyone would be lucky to be into me,” Bill defends without an ounce of irony. “So take that into consideration.”

When he looks up from the table, Stan is just staring at him.

“Yeah, uh, I’ve got nothing constructive to say there considering the fact that you tried to kill me, my family, and destroy the entire world.”

Bill can only kind of shrug in response, what can he honestly say to that?

“I guess you’re trying to make amends for that or something, right? Soos said something about a lizard—“

“Axolotl.”

“Yeah, that. And I guess you’re… cleaning the shack to do that?”

“Eh, close enough.” Bill honestly can’t say that he has a better answer than that. Something, something, learning human compassion, something, something community service.

“How’s that going?”

Bill taps his nails on the table and shrugs his shoulders after a second. Honestly, it’s not working, he tells himself. They’re all insufferable and he hates them all and he looks forward to when he’ll have them all under his subjugation. That’s the plan, after all.

“Fine enough. I guess,” he says instead. “I guess I’m cleaning my soul by wiping counters down.”

“Eh, maybe one day when you learn how to not miss spots, they’ll let you go home.”

Bill glares at Stan and Stan only laughs in response.

“The kids like you, which is weird after, well, you know.”

“Everything?”

Stan grimaces. “Yeah. Everything.”

They lapse into quiet again, Bill drinking his tea and Stan staring out the window at the darkened forest.

“It’s only because of them and Ford that I’m playing nice. After everything in the mindscape, I can’t say that I didn’t like the feeling of punching you in the face.”

Bill can’t help but rub at his face a little, mind flashing with the pain that’d come from the memory.

“We really thought you’d be gone after that. Gave a lot up to get rid of you.”

“For what it’s worth, so did I.”

When he’d called out to the Axolotl, he hadn’t expected an answer. To wake up in the void, in front of the great salamander of judgment had been… shocking. Relieving, but shocking.

“I’ll try not to be in your hair long.”

Stan makes a noncommittal noise.

“Stay for a bit. I guess if you’re bothering us, you’re not planning world domination.”

Bill tries to swallow past the bile that rises up in his throat again, not sure why that’s bothering him so.

“Besides, I ain’t seen Ford like this, again, ever. Maybe you’re good for him. Or maybe you’ll help it get out of his system.”

Bill snorts.

“Maybe don’t interrupt us next time.”

“Maybe don’t try to give my brother a handy in the bathroom everyone uses next time.”

And in spite of himself, Bill smiles, even laughs and he’s surprised when Stan laughs with him.

AN: If you liked that and you’re like “what’s going on? Why is Bill on the floor? What happened between him and Ford?” Well, do I have a treat for you! This is from my ongoing project, The Redemption and Subsequent Death of Bill Cipher! It’s a nice Billford fic taking place in the handyman au universe where Bill gets turned into a human and then figures out that humans have things called feelings and guilt. I’ve got one chapter posted, the second one is written and to be edited, and the third one is in progress! It’s my first undertaking of a multi-chapter fic since high school and so I’m very excited to share it.

If you’d like to check it out, link is below. I’ve also got fics for a bunch of different fandoms on there (including a one-shot smut fic including Bill and Ford ;)) from various different fandoms across the last several years. Please check me out! Otherwise, thanks for reading! <3

[a-writing-otter]

Chapters: 2/11 Fandom: Gravity Falls Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bill Cipher/Ford Pines Characters: Bill Cipher, Ford Pines, Wendy Corduroy, Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Original Characters, Stan Pines, Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez, Melody (Gravity Falls) Additional Tags: Handyman Bill Cipher, Post-Book: The Book of Bill (Gravity Falls), Temporarily Human Bill Cipher Summary:

Things are complicated in Bill’s life as it is now that he’s in a human body on glorified house arrest while doing community service as the new handyman for the Mystery Shack, what he doesn’t need it a situationship-turned-maybe-just-ship with Ford Pines.

…maybe he shouldn’t seek it out either, but that’s besides the point. He’s got one goal and that’s to get back in his body, get his powers back, and far away from this rock.

So, when salvation comes in the form of a former fling spinning plans about how to get his revenge and eat it, too, Bill’s all too eager to listen. It’s not like he cares about these people, this place, or anything else here. He’s got plans, big plans, and there’s nothing that can stop him, not even these squishy, human emotions he’s starting to feel.

[a-writing-otter]

Chapters: 1/12 Fandom: Gravity Falls, The Book of Bill (Gravity Falls) - Fandom Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bill Cipher/Ford Pines Characters: Bill Cipher, Ford Pines, Wendy Corduroy, Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Original Characters, Stan Pines, Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez, Melody (Gravity Falls) Additional Tags: Handyman Bill Cipher, Post-Book: The Book of Bill (Gravity Falls), Temporarily Human Bill Cipher Summary:

Things are complicated in Bill’s life as it is now that he’s in a human body on glorified house arrest while doing community service as the new handyman for the Mystery Shack, what he doesn’t need it a situationship-turned-maybe-just-ship with Ford Pines.

…maybe he shouldn’t seek it out either, but that’s besides the point. He’s got one goal and that’s to get back in his body, get his powers back, and far away from this rock.

So, when salvation comes in the form of a former fling spinning plans about how to get his revenge and eat it, too, Bill’s all too eager to listen. It’s not like he cares about these people, this place, or anything else here. He’s got plans, big plans, and there’s nothing that can stop him, not even these squishy, human emotions he’s starting to feel.

[a-writing-otter]

I'm thinking of one comment on the most recent chapter that was like "damn Bill really trying to turn into triangle version and can barely stand because Ford wants to fuck that version" and like I did do that

Bill, shaking like a chihuahua, finding out he's down an eye, pale, hasn't eaten much in days: I have to be the most fuckable shape in this room

[a-writing-otter]

WIP Wednesday - The Redemption and Subsequent Death of Bill Cipher Chapter 8

“He’s trying to wear me out,” Bill agrees, seeing where Ford is going. “He’s trying to get me desperate. So I just need—“

“To keep him distracted and then we can figure out how to deal with him!”

“Okay, but how are we going to deal with him?” asks Shooting Star.

“You said he’s limited in a human vessel,” Pine Tree reminds. “He can’t do certain things in it.”

“…or if he tries, he’ll get worn out.” That’s it! Bill suddenly turns, grabs Ford by the face in both hands. “I’m going to draw him away, I need you to try and stun him again. I’ll keep him close, but you need to keep shooting.”

“What about Mrs. Gleeful?!” Shooting Star points out. “Bill’s right, that’s a person!”

“Stun won’t kill her,” Ford insists, not pushing Bill away. “Copernicus will have to pull away before she takes too much damage, right?”

Bill nods.

“Otherwise he risks losing the host.”

“So we wear him out before he wears you out. This is going to work.” Ford’s smiling a bit and he glances down at Bill’s mouth and Bill glances down at his and there’s a moment, a fleeting moment, where he thinks Ford is going to kiss him.

But that moment is promptly wiped out as a cut of lightning slices through the tree they’re hiding behind. The four of them go flying, Shooting Star and Bill in one direction with Ford pulled by Bill, but Pine Tree in a completely different direction.

Bill rolls across the ground with Ford, ending up on top of him as Dottie Gleeful comes walking through the forest, swaying with her steps as the dress swings around her legs.

“Oh, Billy, Billy, Billy, don’t tell me you’ve decided to cower from me! You know, I love your little plan, really, I do, but you really shouldn’t be so loud when you talk.” Copernicus smiles broadly, cheeks pulled to a grotesque degree. “Especially when I know how you think. But, it’s no matter.”

Copernicus takes a moment as he tucks a piece of curly, grey hair behind his ear.

“I’ll make this so easy for you.” There’s a beat of silence before violet eyes cut to him with no shred of sympathy. “Call down the Axolotl.”

Bill snorts as he gets onto his knees.

“I can’t. I don’t know how.”

“I’m not asking. I’m telling you: call down the Axolotl. Now.”

“What are you even going to do? You borrow a body for five minutes and you think you can take on the Axolotl?”

“I didn’t say I had to explain my plan to you,” Copernicus says coolly before pointing a finger at him. In the moment, Bill’s eyes are fastened to the digit, a very clean cut nail in dark purple lacquer. “Call the Axolotl down. I won’t tell you again.

“I—! I don’t know how! I haven’t been talking to them the entire time I’m here, they’re just— They’re just watching—!”

But his eyes cut to Pine Tree across the way, the kid on his back, reaching for his arm, probably having landed bad. As far as it goes, he’s the only one who can call the Axolotl because it’s watching him.

When Bill looks back up, Copernicus is smiling, having just followed his eyes.

“Oh, is that it?” he asks, nodding to Pine Tree. “Well. That makes this very, very easy, doesn’t it?.”

Copernicus reaches a hand out and an electric charge starts to build in his palm as he aims at Pine Tree who is staring at Bill, the most panicked he’s seen that brave little shit ever be.

The air tastes like static and time stops.

Bill doesn’t remember moving. One second, he’s crouched on the ground and, the next, he’s moving through the forest as fast as his legs can carry him. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do, but he can’t just stand there.

Axolotl, please. Please, not him. Not Dipper. Please, just— Please!

[a-writing-otter]

Chapters: 4/11 Fandom: Gravity Falls Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bill Cipher/Ford Pines Characters: Bill Cipher, Ford Pines, Wendy Corduroy, Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Original Characters, Stan Pines, Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez, Melody (Gravity Falls) Additional Tags: Handyman Bill Cipher, Post-Book: The Book of Bill (Gravity Falls), Temporarily Human Bill Cipher, Blood and Injury, Unsuccessful Murder Attempts, Demon possession, Making Out, Smoking, Bill is Trying to Tap That So Hard, Alcohol, Underage Drinking, (Like only a little) Summary:

Things are complicated in Bill’s life as it is now that he’s in a human body on glorified house arrest while doing community service as the new handyman for the Mystery Shack, what he doesn’t need it a situationship-turned-maybe-just-ship with Ford Pines.

…maybe he shouldn’t seek it out either, but that’s besides the point. He’s got one goal and that’s to get back in his body, get his powers back, and far away from this rock.

So, when salvation comes in the form of a former fling spinning plans about how to get his revenge and eat it, too, Bill’s all too eager to listen. It’s not like he cares about these people, this place, or anything else here. He’s got plans, big plans, and there’s nothing that can stop him, not even these squishy, human emotions he’s starting to feel.

[a-writing-otter]

Campers, it's, like, actually happening

These last two chapters have been really hard to write for a multitude of reasons not limited to, but including I'm very depressed, I'm going through a breakup, it's the end of a project, and also the actual material is just so tender to work on

Like, if you've noticed, the fic has a very particular name and, upon reading the fic title, you assume certain things are going to happen. It's just, not happening the way most would expect and I need to make sure it not only makes sense narratively, but also emotionally. You all have stuck with me for almost 70k words, potentially 80k by the time I'm done, I want to give you all not just a happy ending, but a good ending.

That being said, I'm actually proud of what's coming out and, with a final write and edit, I hope you'll like it.

I don't have a timeframe for when it'll be done/out, but it's coming. Big things are coming.

And, also, if you haven't read my magnum opus, check out The Redemption and Subsequent Death of Bill Cipher on AO3. We've got two chapters left and maybe the old men can get over their emotional constipation.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59209834/chapters/150985987

[a-writing-otter]

WIP Wednesday - Chapter 5 of The Redemption and Subsequent Death of Bill Cipher

“Oh, hells forfend, what could you possibly— Oh! Billy!”

Bill keeps his hands jammed against the outer ring of the summoning circle as he glares at Copernicus.

“Sweet Moses! Don’t ’Oh! Billy!’ me, where in the hells have you been?!”

Copernicus has the decency to look a little sheepish as he brings his hands to his center.

“I told you, I’ve been busy.”

“Well, I’ve been…” Oh, how does Bill even begin to describe this? These past few weeks and suddenly he feels things for these humans, feels an affection for this world.

“Look, I’m calling all of this off.”

Copernicus lets out an aborted laugh.

“What do you mean you’re ‘calling it off’?”

“What I just said. I just—“ Bill wants to touch his face, but he needs his hands down on the summoning circle to continue this conversation with Copernicus. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to destroy this realm or take over the universe or—“

“You’ve gone soft.” It’s accusatory and Bill winces.

“I’m saying that maybe it’s not worth it.”

“Oh, no, no, no, no! You grew to care about these humans and now you want out!”

The thing is that Bill can’t even refute that argument because that is exactly the reason, isn’t it? The twins are cute and charming, or whatever, and Ford’s… Ford and he likes Stan and Question Mark and Melody and—

“You’re not using me anymore. I quit.”

Silence meets his words before a slow, steady laugh erupts from Copernicus’ body. It gets louder and louder until he’s cackling. His eyes are narrowed and Bill imagines that there’s sharp teeth in a smile that doesn’t show.

“Billy, you don’t get a say in this. You never got a say in this.”

All the blood in Bill’s body runs cold, fingers curling against the dirt in the circle.

“What do you—?”

“Billy, you don’t think I didn’t think of a contingency if you suddenly grew a conscience, did you? I worked too hard for you to back out of this on a whim.”

Bill flashes his teeth like an animal.

“I’m not letting you use my body, use my brain anymore!”

“Oh… Oh, Billy, do you think it’s really that easy?” Copernicus floats closer, gripping Bill’s jaw. “Do you think you can just bail on me without consequence? We made a deal, darling, you’re mine until I decide you’re not.”

Bill rips his head with away with a growl, eyes narrowed on Copernicus.

“You’re out of your mind!”

“To be completely fair, I’m in your mind and, besides, you’re out of your depth, Cipher!” Copernicus pulls away, arms thrown wide. Suddenly, his form starts to warp. Black and inky, it ripples and twists until it’s an amorphous purple blob, three pairs of arms sticking out of the shape with dozens of eyes split across it.

“Gods know how long I kept that form to please you, but if we’re playing this game now, there’s no reason. I was hoping you’d play nice, but it can’t be helped. If what you really want is out, then you’ve got another thing coming. You’re mine and, if you won’t work with me, you’ll be my bait. You’ve already played so well for so long, you only need to do it for awhile longer.”

Bill rears back and almost breaks his grip on the circle before leaning forward again.

“What do you mean?!”

“Oh… Oh, are you really that stupid after all of this time? Thirty-five millions years and you lost all your common sense. Darling, this was never about you. I used you, you have to know that.” He puts a hand to what might be his cheek, it’s a little hard to tell in this form, but that patronization is still evident.

“You were so easy, a few flattering words and you came crawling to me. Was it that way too with your little genius? I told you we could rule the world, that I would help you, and you just crumbled. It’s no matter now, even if you want to back out, you can’t get me out of your head. You’re stuck with me and if you close your eyes, your body is mine. I’ve already have so much fun with it, it’s just a shame that you woke up too soon before I could do anything.”