#trashy take games journalism is dead

[ofcowardiceandkings]

when your clickbait title is something as boring basic as "cosy games suck" im not even gonna acknowledge with a rage-watch, youre just being embarrassing

[hualianff]

ASMR/Streamer AU

Thinking about an AU with video-game streamer HC and ASMRist XL. Both have huge followings on Youtube and other social media; both never show their faces.

On his channel, MantouASMR, XL uses audio from everyday things like cutting fruit or typing at his computer. Other times, he plans out a general script to help his viewers sleep or motivate them for the day. XL writes and reads his own poetry, as well as sings on his channel too.

XL strives to be the most attentive and considerate content creator. He is constantly reading his viewers’ comments and taking up their suggestions for future videos. Anything to help his viewers get through their day or lift their mood.

(One time, XL read a comment from the parent of a child who was MantouASMR’s superfan. XL’s voice apparently helped their son sleep when he’s scared of the monster under his bed. In his next “Time to Sleep” video, XL iterated a short thank you message for the son and his parent for listening and watching his videos, and he hoped he could continue helping in the future.)

(Another time, XL read a comment from a student who said his voice helped her concentrate on her maths homework—though she mentioned she still doesn’t understand integrals and derivatives. The following day, XL uploaded an ASMR math lesson.)

XL’s voice is known to be very soothing, his whispers as airy and delicate as a spring breeze. His lower register is smooth like honey, and anyone who happens to hear his melodious laughs on a live stream instantly falls in love with his character.

On the other hand, HC’s voice is enticingly deep but has a deadly edge to it. He has no shortage of vulgar language, especially when it comes to playing with other streamers. When HC posts an occasional video that’s not video-game-related such as a rare Q&A, he’s somewhat more pleasant.

Of course, HC is incredibly grateful for his followers’ support. He just finds himself involved in too much internet bullshit even when he respectfully minds his own business. HC supposes that it comes with being China’s number one video game streamer—Crimson Rain Ghost King—watched by millions all around the globe. However, this doesn’t stop HC from being vocal about his opinions and expressing himself without giving a fuck what others thought.

Naturally, HC and XL are in completely separate circles on the Youtube platform. As far as their fans are concerned, a mellow ASMRist and a brash gamer don’t interact with each other...

Here’s the catch: Hualian are secretly married.

XL and HC have been together for over ten years now—married for just under three years. They felt no need to disclose their full relationship when HC began gaining popularity as a streamer, nor when XL’s channel tripled in size a few years later.

In his lives, XL often mentions his mysterious husband a lot. For the third anniversary of his channel, XL retells his wedding day. The picture for the video is of HC’s and his intertwined hands with a red string attaching their middle fingers.

HC was the first one to subscribe to XL’s channel (from a side account). He never fails to remind XL that “Gege has many gifts to share with the world.”

Out of nowhere, a trashy review journal bashes XL’s videos, calling them unoriginal and lowkey creepy because XL is “...a full-grown man whispering random shit that people love for some reason.” HC tries to keep XL from reading the article, but he’s too late. What’s worse is that other media sites speculate XL’s identity after, trying to expose him.

XL has experienced media backlash in the past. This event has him revisiting trauma where he nearly lost everyone in his life. He also went through severe depression and has developed major anxiety since then. One of the main reasons XL started his Youtube channel was because he wanted to be the person of comfort he wished he had had during those dark times.

Witnessing how affected XL is by the article and online hate, HC’s already-thin patience is close to snapping. That specific journal does nothing but writes drama-seeking shit about creators with a notable platform–HC included. Not that he gives a fuck about it.

Except they made XL their next target, and that is unacceptable. HC promptly makes a video grilling the hell out of the journal and the writer who published the article, making it very clear that, “Whoever reads and supports this bullshit are the scum of the Earth.”

HC uploads the video, then proceeds to make a XL-care-burrito. He feeds his husband, keeps him warm, and cuddles him all day. After dinner, XL feels renewed with energy, thoroughly enjoying his Saturday with his biggest, most devoted fan. XL decisively unwraps himself from the burrito and goes to make that sewing tutorial ASMR video he planned for the weekend.

HC’s viewers are once again curious as to if he has connections to XL. They begin digging up evidence but after the short investigation, it seems not to be the case.

Of the two instances XL couldn’t edit out him saying his husband’s name on live, no one seemed to agree on what the two muffled syllables were. XL never shows above his chest (he wears a facemask in case of a slip-up) or goes into too much detail with his stories. Both XL and HC’s other social media accounts are squeaky clean. Plus, you can count on one hand how many times HC has mentioned anything about his personal life.

Their fans stop their analysis, for the most part; XL’s viewers adamant about protecting his privacy and HC’s viewers not wanting to piss their idol off.

With Youtube being an important and time-consuming side of their life, XL and HC make sure to balance their personal, professional, and romantic lives as best as they can, or re-evaluate priorities when things begin to go downhill.

In addition to streaming, HC works as an animator for a respectable company. He has flexible work conditions and schedules.

HC during his stream debuting a new popular game: “I helped make this game, of course I know what I’m doing.” XL watches from the side wearing an adoring and proud smile.

XL is an open and free-spirited soul, so he switches side jobs often such as a barista, salesman, model, etc.

HC’s other hobbies include photography, music, traditional art, and bowling. (He has impeccable aim for obvious reasons.) XL enjoys seeing his friends (SQX, MUA; MQ, lawyer; FX, lawyer), cooking, reading, and skateboarding.

Extras:

-HC often streams with XL in his lap.

-Hualian create NSFW ASMR for themselves.

-(HC in their bed, listening to one of XL’s ASMR videos...

XL, smiling like a minx and slipping into bed shirtless: “Why watch my video when you have the real thing right here?”)

-Someone edits a comedic video with XL and HC’s voices, comparing their styles and approaches to speech. It garners lots of attention for their respective channels, the hashtag #mantouxcrimson ??? trending for a few days.

Video title: You’re friends with both Mantou Gege and Crimson Rain

(In the video)

Situation 1: You haven’t started your homework and it’s already midnight.

XL’s voice: “Whatever you do, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You can’t do things well if your mind is unwell. Try to finish the things that need to be done, but be kind to yourself~~”

HC’s voice: “You little fucker, what have you been doing this whole time!? If you don’t do your job in the next five seconds, I’ll make sure to bury your worthless dead body where no one can find you-“

(Brainchild with @no-one-says-hi)

[trvelyans-archive]

look out

a comm for @dauntless-necromancer of the detective’s daughter miss maxine spending a weekend at the warehouse with unit bravo <3 it was such a pleasure to write for you again !!! i hope you enjoy <3

-

When Max finishes up science club on Friday, there are three vampires waiting outside school for her.

… That sounds like the beginning of a bad YA novel.

Not that she reads those. Well… she does, just not that often. She’s too busy with homework most of the time – also, lots of them are bad. Besides, she’s glad that she hasn’t had time to read lately, because she wouldn’t want Unit Bravo to catch her flipping through some trashy teen book when they get home from… y’know, killing werewolves or demons or whatever. (Or not killing them? She doesn’t really understand what it is they do.) She hitches her backpack higher over her shoulders, pushes her glasses up her nose and clears her throat as she heads down the sidewalk towards the sleek black van they’re standing in front of.

Nice, Max thinks. Better than Dad’s car.

It nearly broke down on the way to school this morning. Max doesn’t know how she felt about him making the 45-minute drive into the city with it, but he kept changing the subject whenever she brought it up. Actually, he didn’t really say or do anything but go over a checklist of what she needed for the weekend until she was about to get out of the car and he said, “Sorry, kiddo. I’ve just been… on edge lately.”

As if he had to tell her that. She sees him every week – she knows how stressed he’s been. That’s part of the reason she went along with this plan so willingly: she wants to get to the bottom of whatever’s going on with him.

“Max!” The shortest one – Farah – practically pounces on her as she approaches their van outside the school, grinning widely. (No vampire fangs, Max notes. Maybe they only come out sometimes? She has an urge to write that down somewhere. She should definitely start taking notes.) “How are you? How was school?”

“Good,” Max says. “And I’m good. How are you?”

“I’m good,” Farah replies, grinning. “I’m excited!”

“She has quite the schedule planned for you,” Nat says, smiling softly. Max likes Nat the most out of all of them – she’s smart and nice, if a little… boring. But boring can be good, sometimes! “We’ve all been looking forward to your visit, though.”

Max looks over at Morgan, who tosses her cigarette onto the ground and stomps it under her boot, staring at the school with a frown and a furrowed brow.

Maybe not all of them, Max thinks.

“Whose car is this?” she asks, pointing at the van.

“The Agency’s!” Farah hurries to pull the door of the van open and gestures inside. “Nothing but the best for Eddie’s daughter!”

“All the vans look like this,” Morgan grumbles. Farah elbows her.

“Nothing but the best,” she repeats.

Max pokes her head inside – it’s practically spotless and smells like new-car smell (except she knows it probably isn’t). They’re probably just really particular about, like, cleaning them after they use the vans to haul back dead werewolves or whatever. (God, she hopes they don’t do that, and she especially hopes they haven’t done that with this van. She makes a mental note to ask Nat about it later.)

As if on cue, Farah grabs Max’s overnight bag from her hand and tosses it inside the car.

“What are you waiting for?” Farah asks. “Let’s go!”

-

At first, Max as hesitant to spend her weekend with Unit Bravo. Before her dad finished finalizing plans with them, she begged Mom to take the weekend off work until her mom was sick of her asking. As much as she’s grown to like… most of the Unit, she didn’t know how much she’d like spending three days with them. After all, she still hasn’t forgotten what happened with that freak Murphy earlier this year. She still hasn’t forgot that, whether they wanted to or not, they left her dad out to dry and he got his ass – butt – kicked because of it.

And yet, by ten o’clock Friday night – the time she would usually be getting ready for bed – she’s pretty sure she’s gonna like spending the weekend here much more than she thought she would.

They’ve set up camp in the games room. After Max scarfed down the slightly burnt dinner that Nat made her, they spent the evening playing darts – Morgan won the first three games, to Farah’s annoyance, and then Max won the fourth game, to even more of Farah’s annoyance – and now they’re about half an hour deep into what feels like will be an incredibly prolonged game of pool.

Max’s on Farah’s team, apparently. She thinks it’s because Farah doesn’t want to lose again, but she’s going to be disappointed – Max’s only played pool a couple times before, and Dad is never an easy opponent.

(In pool, at least – she kicks his ass – butt – at chess.)

“Y’know,” Farah says, leaning on the pool table and turning to face Max with a bright smile, “I don’t know a lot about you, Max. Your dad doesn’t talk about you a lot – well, I mean, he does sometimes! But just about how proud he is of you and stuff.”

Max smiles. It never hurts to hear that the hours she spends doing homework every night always pay off. “He doesn’t tell us much of anything else, though, like…” Farah purses her lips, scanning the ceiling while she searches for a question. “What do you like to do for fun?” Her eyes widen with excitement. “We can add whatever it is to the schedule for this weekend!”

Morgan snorts and hits a striped, orange ball, sending it straight into the pocket at the corner of the table. “Not even I have enough energy to put up with all the shit you have planned for this weekend, Farah,” she says. “You think the kid does?”

“I’m not a–“ Max stops herself before she finishes the sentence. “Well, I would love to do anything you have planned, Farah,” she continues politely. Mostly because the more time they spend together, the more dirt she can try to dig up. “I can’t wait to see what else we’re going to do tonight.”

“Tonight? Oh, the rest of tonight is all about pool, baby!” Farah grabs her cue stick and turns back to the table. “We gotta get through the next three games of our tournament before we even think about doing anything else.”

Max waits until Farah’s back is turned to wince. It looks like she won’t be able to sit any of them down and have a serious discussion anytime soon, then. It’s not that she doesn’t want to play pool at all – she’d like to play pool and see if she can find any board games – but she just has more important things to tend to, as well.

She’s not exactly going to say that, though, so when she catches Morgan smirking at the look on her face, she forces herself to smile.

-

Saturday morning, Max creeps out of her dad’s bedroom wearing one of his old t-shirts and a pair of basketball shorts she found in his closet. She thought about having a shower but decided against it – firstly because she’s too lazy to figure out how the shower in his bathroom works, and secondly because she really wants a bowl of the cereal that she spotted on top of the fridge last night. She pads slowly through the wide, empty hallways, her socked feet thumping softly against the floor, and the kitchen door creaks open as she walks inside, yawning.

Unfortunately for her, she didn’t get a lot of sleep. It’s kind of hard to do so when you’re in some supernatural underground warehouse surrounded by vampires and one of them plays music very loud and very late at night.

“Good morning,” Nat says. She’s sitting at the table with a cup of tea and a book open in front of her – the book looks old. Looks ancient. If she has access to books that look so ancient, then how old is Nat? Max can’t ask that, right? Dad’s told her that it’s rude to ask women how old they are - does that count for vampires, too?

She clears her throat when she realizes that she hasn’t answered yet.

“Good morning,” she replies, tiptoeing over to the table and tucking her hair behind her ear before pushing her glasses higher up her nose. “Can I – uh, have some cereal?”

Nat laughs gently. “Of course,” she answers. “I bought it just for you – the others don’t eat human food very often.”

‘Human’. It feels weird to hear them refer to her as a human. She knows they aren’t humans, of course, at least not anymore, but – they look like humans and sound like humans. She hasn’t even seen a fang yet! (Though she’s not sure whether or not she wants to.) “Oh.” She nods, blushing. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Max can feel Nat watching her as she heads for the fridge, standing on her tiptoes to grab the cereal box. “Does Farah have any plans for you today?”

“She does. Well, I think she does – she said so last night, anyway, when I finally went to bed, but I think I might try and catch up some homework this morning first.” Max opens the door of the fridge and reaches for a jug of milk that looks entirely unopened – Nat really did buy everything just for her, apparently. “I have a journal to write for English, a project to work on for science, some equations to work on for math…”

“Sounds like quite a lot of work.”

As if any of her work compares to the work of top-secret agents who also happen to be vampires. Still, Max sighs and nods. “Yeah, it is a lot sometimes,” she agrees. “I don’t mind it most of the time, though. I like school. But I’d rather just… I don’t know, hang out with you guys this weekend…”

Well… she’s a bit worn out from playing pool and darts as of right now, and she doesn’t want to spend any more time with Morgan because Morgan doesn’t seem to like her very much, but she all she needs is to have some coffee and she’ll feel a lot better. (Hopefully.) (Do they even have any coffee here?)

“Who says you can’t do both?” Nat asks. “I’ll be moving to the library soon, if you want to join me.”

Max smiles. “Really?”

“Absolutely,” Nat answers. “There’s plenty of room for you to do your work, and I wouldn’t mind some company.”

“Okay.” Max nods, looking down at her bowl as she pushes the dry cereal around in her milk. “Thanks, Nat. For, uh, you know…” She shrugs, feeling suddenly self-conscious. “Buying me food and stuff.”

“Of course. My pleasure.”

She goes back to her reading, leaving Max alone with her thoughts and her cereal.

-

Miraculously, in the peace and quiet of the library, Max manages to get almost all of her work finished.

Well, she saves the last part of her science project for tomorrow, but mostly because she starts falling asleep in her chair at about three in the afternoon and heads back to her dad’s room to take a nap that ends up lasting a lot longer than she intended. Nat’s not in the library when she returns at about half past ten, which is a letdown, both because Max genuinely likes her company but mostly because she didn’t get any information about what’s going on in Wayhaven out of her earlier.

She’s hoping she can get some tomorrow. Unless they have to go into the field and kill (or not kill) some more werewolves, in which case she’ll probably be out of luck.

After scarfing down the leftovers of last night’s dinner, she decides to continue her search for Nat anyway, and while she’s leaving the kitchen she comes across Farah in the hallway. She tails Max around the Warehouse for a little while and asks her what feels like a thousand questions – what class her favourite is, what her mom’s like, what she wants to be when she grows up – and while Max wouldn’t have liked answering them a month ago, she does now without even thinking about it. Playing darts and pool with someone for six hours can really help them grow on you, apparently.

They’re on their fifth lap when Farah stops abruptly. “Alright, Max,” she says. “Think I’m gonna head to Morgan’s room and ask her if she wants to play darts!”

Max cringes – she hadn’t realized how bored Farah might be wandering around what’s basically her own house. She doesn’t seem too bothered by it, though. (Is she ever bothered by anything?) “But you can come find me later in the games room if you’re bored, alright?” she continues, smiling widely.

“Okay.” Max smiles. “Thanks, Farah.”

“No problem!” Farah pats her shoulder before she bounces away whistling, and Max considers going with her for a few seconds before she remembers the importance her mission and prepares herself for another several hours of searching for Nat.

She knows that whatever she finds out is probably going to scare the hell – heck – out of her, but she still wants to know – her dad is scared, too, and she doesn’t want him to feel like he’s alone or like he can’t talk to her about it! Which she knows is a silly thing to think, but she can’t help it. She loves her dad – besides, she’ll be much better off if he can prepare her for anything scary that might happen to her, right?

The way his mom didn’t?

She wanders around for a couple minutes before she can hear the sounds of someone grunting and yelling in the distance, and she starts running towards the sound before she can question it. She doesn’t find any rabid werewolves or anything, though, which she definitely thought she would – just an open set of double doors to her left and someone with a blonde ponytail punching mannequins inside.

Ava.

Max frowns immediately. She didn’t want to see Ava this weekend – out of all the Unit, she’s Max’s least favourite. She dislikes Ava more than Morgan, and considering that Morgan personally doesn’t like Max, either, that’s saying something. She steels herself to run back the way she came when Ava glances over at her.

“Oh.” Her eyebrows furrow slightly. “Maxine.”

Staring at her, Max nods politely. “Ava.”

And then, without thinking about it, she steps through the open doorway into the room, glancing around curiously.

It looks sort of like a school gymnasium, only with lower-hanging ceilings and an army of dummies and mannequins that they definitely, definitely don’t have at her school. The lights are brighter in here than they are in the hallway, and after nearly an hour of wandering through the Warehouse, she half-heartedly raises a hand to shield her eyes, lips pursed.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“Training,” Ava answers.

Training.

Maybe she’s training so that next time some bloodthirsty freak tracks Max’s dad down, Ava won’t let him get taken again. She’s the one who was with him when Murphy snatched him, after all. Max hasn’t forgotten that.

(Dad says that Ava couldn’t have saved him, that something had happened to her before they escaped his apartment, but Max doesn’t care. Her dad matters more than anything.)

“Have you been avoiding me?” Max asks.

Ava’s eyes widen in surprise before she clears her throat and shakes her head. “I haven’t,” she answers. “I had Agency work to tend to today.”

Max toes a crack in the floor with the tip of her shoe. “You didn’t come with the others to pick me up yesterday.”

“I had work to do then, as well.”

“Mmhmm.”

Ava turns back to the dummy, shaking her bandaged hands out before curling them into fists again. “I won’t be able to entertain you, if that’s what you’re looking for,” she says, reaching out to hit the mannequin so hard that it nearly topples over. “I’m sure you could find something to do with one of the other agents.”

“Do you train a lot?”

Max doesn’t know if she’s asking to pester Ava or if she’s genuinely curious. Probably a little bit of both.

“Yes,” Ava answers. It doesn’t sound like she’s going to say any more than that, but Dad has always said that she’s not very talkative. (He says it with a smile, though, which Max doesn’t understand at all.)

“So, you’re gonna keep my dad safe from whatever it is that’s been going on lately?”

Across the room, Ava tenses. It’s visible enough for Max to notice.

“What has he told you?”

Of course, Max’s first instinct is to be honest with her and say “nothing”, but when the realization that she stopped her herself from getting any sort of information hits her, she nearly kicks herself for it.

“Good,” Ava says. “You don’t need to concern yourself with Agency business.”

Max frowns. “I do if I want to keep my dad safe.” Because you might not, she thinks, but she doesn’t say it.

“That’s not your job, Maxine.” Ava says her name like she knows her, and Max doesn’t like it one bit. “I think Ed- I think your father would agree with me on that.”

“But it’s not fair!” she says. “If I’m in danger, too, don’t I deserve to know?”

“That is not my choice.”

Max curls her hands into fists at her sides. If she were in cartoon, she knows for a fact that she’d have steam coming out of her ears. Her dad would say she’s being unreasonable for pinning what happened with Murphy on Ava, but – she got her stubbornness from him, so he’s really the one to blame. Him and Ava and whoever else in the world lets her dad get hurt.

“Fine,” Max says. “But you better keep me safe, then, too, or my dad will never forgive you.”

She swears she can hear Ava open her mouth to say something behind her, but she’s turning on her heel and stomping down the hallway before the vampire can get a word out. When she reaches her dad’s room, she nearly slams the door but stops herself at the last second and closes it slowly, taking deep breaths in and out through her nose so she doesn’t get too wound up.

All she can hope is that Ava doesn’t tell Dad about their conversation. As much as she loves him, she doesn’t love being scolded.

-

To Max’s relief, Ava doesn’t tell Dad. (At least she hasn’t told him yet.)

She tells Rebecca, instead.

Max is packing her stuff up at the end of the day on Sunday when she hears a knock at the door. At first she thinks it’s her dad – by now, he should be on his way to the Warehouse to pick her up – but when she hurries over to open the door, she sees her grandmother standing there on the other side, instead.

Rebecca smiles kindly. “Maxine,” she says. “May I come in?”

They’ve only seen each other once or twice since their first meeting. She’s another one of the people that Max has a grudge against for how they’ve treated her dad, except this time he seems to hold the same grudge, too.

Still, Rebecca let Max stay the whole weekend and didn’t come to see her until now. She can’t exactly say no.

Max moves to the side and opens the door even further while Rebecca steps into the room, scanning the space with sad eyes. Max guesses from the way she’s acting that she probably hasn’t been in this room much before, at least not long enough to get a good look at everything. Max feels defensive about it for her dad’s sake – this is his space, after all, and he’s not here to decide whether or not he wanted Rebecca to come inside – so she relaxes when Rebecca turns to her again.

“I’ve been meaning to come see you,” she says, her voice soft and tentative. “I’m afraid I’ve just been rather busy this weekend.”

Busy. Max nearly snorts at that, but she doesn’t.

“Agent du Mortain talked to me earlier,” Rebecca continues. “About your conversation with her yesterday.”

Max’s eyes widen in surprise. “I didn’t say anything bad to her, I promise!”

Her grandmother smiles. “I know you didn’t,” she says. “She didn’t say that you did. Only that you expressed a concern for Ed- for your father’s safety. And I wanted to assure you that the Agency is doing everything we can to keep him safe.”

“So he won’t get kidnapped again? Or get strapped to a bed by some bloodthirsty weirdo?”

“He told you that, did he?”

“Yeah. He tells me everything.” Max crosses her arms over her chest. “He doesn’t treat me like a kid the way everyone else does.”

“Well… I suppose that’s fair.” Rebecca presses her lips together. “As long as you haven’t told anyone…?”

“Of course not!” Who would she tell? The girls in her class would never believe her. Even if she came to school with a vampire bite on her neck or carrying a werewolf tooth, they would probably just say that she was faking it to impress the boys in their class.

“Good.” Rebecca nods. “In any case, Maxine, I just came by to promise you that I, personally, will do everything I can to keep your father safe, as will the Unit. Your father – as well as you and your mother – are all under our very close protection. What happened with Murphy…” She clenches her jaw the way Dad does when he’s upset. Max’s heart hurts at the sight. “It will not happen again. I promise.”

“You can’t abandon him.”

Rebecca seems surprised by how firmly Max says it, but she responds with nothing more than a tight nod. “I won’t. I would die before I let that happen.”

Despite that, Max’s first instinct is not to believe her. After everything her dad said about Rebecca, how much can they trust her, really? Even if she’s trying now, it doesn’t make up for everything she missed when Dad was a kid, nor does it make up for the fact that no one will tell Max what’s going on even though she might be in danger, too. But the determination in Rebecca’s words, in her eyes… Max’s seen the same look in her dad’s eyes a million times. Her dad, who she loves to the ends of Earth and trusts more than anyone.

So, in the end, Max can’t help but trust Rebecca, too. Her and the team, even Ava. She just hopes that none of them do anything to break that trust, because after spending eight hours playing darts this weekend, she has pretty good aim.

-

It’s ten o’clock when Dad and Max get back to his apartment that night.

His car stalled on his way back to Wayhaven – she knew something bad was going to happen! – but thankfully he was close enough to town that he could call someone to tow him back in. They’ve borrowed an Agency van for a couple days that he’ll drive her to school with tomorrow, and as she sits on the counter beside him and watches him put dinner together, she tells him that he should just buy it from the Agency.

“Maybe you’ll get a discount,” she muses, leaning back against the cabinet. “Or maybe if one of the werewolf corpses left a stain –“

“Max!”

“What?”

“They don’t –“ He sighs in exasperation. “That’s not what the vans are for.”

“Sure it’s not.”

Dad laughs. Max can always trust him to laugh at her jokes. She can trust him with anything. She turns to look at him and watches him pour pancake batter into the pan, gnawing on the inside of her cheek.

“Dad?”

“Mmm?”

“Don’t get kidnapped by someone like Murphy again, okay?”

He glances up at her, face softening. “I won’t,” he says. “I promise.”

She believes him. Even if she doesn’t believe anyone else, she believes him, no matter what.

[spacehologramcollection]

Request; Kombat Krew and them falling for you+ Saying I love you.

I guess this is a sequel to them flirting? Not even sure. But this is a kind of when they realised, they loved you, and when they actually confessed it. Trashy, kind of long and not as many characters as I wanted to include. But it’s still warm and sticky over here, writing on my laptop is really uncomfortable! I will do a part two I swear. Under the cut due to length.  Warnings; Little NSFW, NSFW implied I guess? Better to be on the safe side. 18+. Angst, mentions of angst, fluff, tooth rotting fluff. Trash.  GIFS do not belong to me.

Sub Zero (Kuai Liang);

·         Kuai Liang is a complex man. A complex man full of ice puns and good advice. A shame he can never take his own advice. Not that he has much to give in terms of romance.

·         He realises he is attracted to you slowly. It’s not a massive ‘Oh dear, oh dear, I seem to have fallen for Y/N!’ situation no. It takes a little bit for him to realise that he does have, more advanced feelings. Feelings that go past the usual, friendship type which he shares with the majority of people.

·         What brings him to the realisation that he has strong romantic feelings for you are quite varied. You laughing at his puns and jokes, you debating with him and holding a conversation with him. The fact he can stay awake with you and discuss various things, no matter how stupid they may seem to him. And the fact that you listen to him and actually take his advice, lord knows someone should!

·         He will end up confessing his initial attraction to you one night. You both cannot sleep, so you’re sat atop the temple watching the snow flurries fall.

·         He’s nervous. His throat feels dry and he has no idea what to say to you. How does one profess their attraction? Bi-Han told him to compliment you, but everything seems so crude and forward. Smoke told him to write it down and give you it. That seemed lazy and cowardly. He’s the fucking Grandmaster of Lin Kuei. He’s fought through hell, and yet, he cannot confess his attraction to you.

·         He is literally Shang from Mulan. “You fight Good” but instead he talks about how committed and loyal you are. How you’ve got honour and he respects you. Before getting a little sweeter and managing to choke out a few words, on how he feels strongly towards you.

·         His ears are bright red by the time he says he wishes to be with you, if you want him that is, he understands. As Jonny says, cold hands are not ideal for much.

·         You swear you hear him squeak a little when you plant a kiss on his cheek. Admitting the attraction is mutual. Queue him smiling and laughing, before wrapping an arm slowly and tentatively around you.

·         No one can see you. So, this is fine. He can be Kuai Liang, a guy who just got himself the best partner in the world tonight.

·         The ‘I love you’ comes later on. It’s when you’re both in bed one night. His frosty breath ghosting your neck. One arm around your waist, holding him to you tightly. Not wanting to ever let go. He’ll whisper it before planting a cold laden kiss to the back of your neck. When you sleepily utter it back, he feels content, tightening the grip on your waist.

Smoke;

·         What. Is. This. Fucking. Feeling. If you thought Kuai was bad, meet Smoke, Smoke is 110% worse. He wants to scream, because even though he’s read many a book, he cannot find the right words to say to you.

·         Luckily, he wrote it in his rainbow unicorn dream journal, and it happens to be Bi-Hans favourite book. So, have no fear, the better Sub-Zero Brother is here! His words not mine. Bi-Han gives terrible love advice, but he does listen to how he fell for you.

·         He got hit with the realisation, that he had the feels for you, pretty damn hard. So hard, it nearly knocked him out. But I’ll get to that later. You’d known each other a bit. You both used to read the same book, before discussing it when neither of you could sleep. Which is often with Smoke, since he has a smoke demon living within him, one that sometimes, will not shut the fuck up (I’m going off the HC that it’s like a Symbiote relationship. Eddie and Venom style, since Smoke can turn into an Enenra)

·         You’re both discussing the latest chapter in the current novel you’re reading. You’re hands briefly touched, and he just could not cope. It had been a while since he’d been touched that softly. For the rest of the night, he was immersed with watching you speak, didn’t matter what you were saying. He wanted to hear it.

·         Before you left, you mentioned there was a book you were looking for but could not find. After you left, Smoke hunted that fucker down. Top shelf, to the right, behind Bi-Han’s ‘forbidden book’ Long story short, he slipped, fell and the book fell onto his head. Nearly knocking him out. Nobody saw, so it’s fine.

·         “You love Y/N, we love them too. They have a nice…’ That damn Enenra will not stop discussing you. He wants to meet you, but that is never happening. Not in a million fucking years. Never. Smoke doesn’t like fucking meeting him, why the fuck would he let it meet you?

·         He struggles with what to say. Bi-Han suggested just being out-right and forward. If it failed, he could always leave the temple and become a smoke machine. Really not helping.

·         In the end he does write you a note. He slips it into the book you’ve been looking for. It details how he was struggling to say the words, so he thought he’d write them for you. He highlights about what he loves about you. How soft you are with him, how you help braid his hair, how you laugh at his jokes and how you aren’t afraid of him.

·         He doesn’t expect you to be so quick with you reply, if at all. The Enenra does fill him with doubt. Doubt that you could ever love someone like him. Well, jokes on it. When Smoke returns from training, he went extra hard to try and take his mind off of the note; he’s surprised to see you’re sat waiting for him in his room.

·         You’re holding the note and smiling. He’s about to speak, but you quickly cut him off, listing everything you love about him. How he smiles, his grey eyes and how they remind you of the sea. How he’s essentially a warm beacon of light in this frozen hell. How he smells of apples all the time. And how when you’re sick, he’ll always bring you soup and read to you.

·         The ‘I love you’ comes when you’re both ice skating. He said there was a frozen lake near the temple. Nobody goes there, because what’s the point? So, it’d be a nice chance to be alone for once.  He’s actually pretty damn good at it. Not surprising since, you know, he’s essentially a ninja. But he’s got an arm around you, you’re both kind of just spinning, he’s a firm grip so no chances of you falling. It tumbles from his lips after you share a quick kiss. When you say it back, he can’t help but smile and press his forehead to yours.

Kabal;

·         Pre-Burn; For Kabal. When he gets the feels, he gets them HARD. He’s a laidback guy so he’s not going to get flustered. He’s just gotta make sure you feel the same. And also, that he can make it a day to remember when he confesses.  

·         He realised he was attracted to you, when you were training together. The Fight Club had closed early. Kano was away, it was dead, so you decided to close up shop. Kabal offered to stay back and help you clean up. You’d been flirting for fucking weeks.

·         It turned into you wanting to learn to throw a punch. Kabal was more than happy to help. You’re both joking about, you’re trying to hit the air and stumbling. Both of you are laughing, having a good time and then BAM. THE FEELS ARE THERE. He catches you when you stumble and pulls you close.

·         Suddenly this whole plan of him taking you out to dinner and a movie goes to shit. He kind of just leans in and kisses you. When you kiss back, it affirms that you have feelings for him.

·         After you break apart, he confesses that he’s been attracted to you for a while, and he thinks he’s falling for you pretty hard. He’ll ask if you want proof of how much he’s fallen for you. Because if you want proof, he can show you something he’s not shown anyone but Erron before.

·         You’re a little bit curious so, fuck it why not. That and spending time with him is always a bonus.

·         Brings you back to his apartment and will literally show you his living room. It’s decked in nerdy memorabilia, the latest console and a high-spec gaming PC; which is logged into his trolling WoW account.

·         Whilst you’re busy looking at his action figures and comic books. And his extensive collection of Johnny Cage films (You’ll have to talk about that later to him, since he told you he hated them.) He’s busy fumbling around in his bedroom.

·         When he returns you see he’s wearing thick framed glasses. He asks you not to laugh. And to not tell anyone. But yeah, Erron only saw this shit because he barged in un-invited one day. Saw Kabal sat there, near butt ass naked, watching TV with his glasses on. He’d have seen it all if the Pizza box hadn’t been covering his dick.

·         When you burst out laughing at his story, it kind of cements that he has feelings for you. He loves to make you laugh, because it’s the sweetest sound in the world.

·         He will tell you that. And then asks if it’s proof enough, when you say no, but a kiss would. He’s more than happy to oblige.

·         The ‘I love you’ portion comes further down the line. You’re both sat in the car, belting out some absolute fucking classics. He looks over, catches you smiling and singing along like there’s no tomorrow. Still in your pjs, because you both decided a late-night drive was a great idea. He just cannot stop smiling, you’re all his. He just randomly says it. It does make you spit out your Mcflurry though.

·         Post-Burn; Okay so this is angst central. The confident and laidback Kabal has gone. Replaced with Self-loathing. He hates his appearance now. So when the feels hit him, he starts to feel guilty, why should you be saddled with him?

·         The feels and realisation that comes with them, rise up when you help take care of him after his accident. When you offer to rub lotion on his skin, offer to help with his mask and gear. The fact you visited him in the hospital every day. You offer to go out and grab his shopping or to get medicine, when he doesn’t feel like leaving the house. The fact you aren’t ashamed to be seen with him. God, he loves you.

·         The fact you don’t mind going out in public with him, does put some of his self-doubt to rest. But not a lot.

·         He ends up confessing his attraction one evening. He couldn’t sleep one hot and sticky night. His skin is extra sensitive after the accident, so hot nights kill him off. He merely messaged you casually, explaining what was going on and asking if you were up; safe to say it came as a surprise to see you at his door, takeout in hand.

·         You both end up eating pizza and watching a movie. The AC is now cranked on full. You end up asking if it’s okay to cuddle up to him. He’s nervous and stuttering but he says yes. He needs to be a bit more adventurous.

·         You’re falling asleep, cuddled into him, eyes half-lidded fighting to stay awake. He’s laying back, stroking your hair and enjoying the feel of having someone’s skin against his own.

·         He ends up mumbling that he’s falling for you and he’s sorry for that. Queue you sitting up, arms stretched out to wrap around his neck. Telling him to never apologise for giving you what you want. He’ll press his masked forehead to yours, hands clutched in his, with him caressing the knuckles.

·         The ‘I love you’ Post-Burn is such a tender moment. It’s very raw and emotional. He’ll have taken his mask off to show you his face. When you accept him, caressing over the creases of his skin, slowly fluttering your fingertips. He feels so warm and content. He closes his eyes, leaning into your touch. After you kiss him for the first time, he’ll breathlessly utter it. His breath will hitch waiting for your retort; he’ll only relax when you say it back. He’ll smile, making eye contact before stroking your face. You’re everything he could have ever wanted and hoped for.

·         Crispy Kabal is such a sweetheart. And I fucking love him.

Erron Black;

·         Aw hell no. After Nitara and Skarlet, he swore no more feels. But then he met you and well, aw shit here we go again.

·         Erron is confident in his approach and is not ashamed to admit his feelings. If he has feelings for you, he’s going to tell you. He’s very straight forward like that. No point wasting precious time you two could be dating after all.

·         He realises he is attracted to you when he’s teaching you to shoot his pistol. He’s got his arm around your waist, hand helping to adjust your aim; and you’re sort of dressed a little like him. You did it as a joke, but you look mighty fine in that poncho and hat.

·         He’s impressed with your aim for a rookie, he’ll compliment you on it and admit he’s mighty impressed. Pretty face, good aim and as sweet as sugar, ain’t you the complete package That’s enough to make you blush.

·         He’ll take his hat off and ask if you fancy just grabbing a drink. He’s got a lot to tell you. Mostly about how he’s falling for you. By the end of the night, he’ll have listed off nearly everything about you. Which is on the ‘what I adore about you’ list.

·         He’ll love how you’re blushing and laughing. He’ll wrap an arm around you and ask if you fancy tagging along with him. He needs a solid partner, someone he can rely on and can go with the flow. You do all that.

·         He’s such a charmer in all honesty.

·         Him saying ‘I love you’ comes one night when you’re camping. You went for a hike, set up camp and you’ve been chatting bubbles for the past few hours. He was telling you all about his life, by god he’s lived a long one and has a lot of stories. You’re laid in between his legs, looking up at the stars. Whilst he makes up constellations.

·         Each time you go along with his made up bullshittery he smiles and laughs a little to himself. The three words just escape his mouth, he’s pretty relieved you say it back. He’s never really said ‘I love you’ before. It makes him feel all soft and fuzzy inside. It is time he settles down he thinks.

Scorpion (Hanzo Hasashi);

·         This man is the most conflicted out of everyone. He cannot be falling for someone else. He feels guilty, how could he be doing this? He feels joy, he can finally feel again and not be emotionally numb. He feels scared, he doesn’t want to lose you. He feels nervous, he knows what to do and what to say. But that doesn’t mean he’s confident about it.

·         He, like Kuai, realised that he was falling for you slowly and it was over a period of time. He didn’t just think ‘OH DAMN’ not that he’d ever think that. It was small things. How you’d bring him tea after his morning meditation. How you’d meditate with him, do yoga and train with him. To you making him little paper cranes and leaving them around him.

·         The thing that made him realise that he was falling in love with you; was one night, the two of you were sat drinking and you asked him to dance. He doesn’t do dancing… but he couldn’t say no to you, not when you were looking up at him like that.

·         One thing he does do is swaying. He can sway like no tomorrow. He ends up swaying with you. He can feel your heartbeat against his chest, you fit so nicely in his arms, and you feel so warm.

·         He’ll end up leaving quickly, excusing himself, the guilt becoming too much for him to cope with. He cannot do this… or can he? He ends up asking Takeda for advice, who in the end, says it’s okay to eventually move on.

·         You’ll go back to your room and he’s sat there on your bed. He’s smiling nervously before apologising and confessing why he left. He’s attracted to you and it’s making him feel guilty. You’ll have to take things slow with him, but it is worth it in the end.

·         The sacred three words comes a bit later. More so than the others. He feels conflicted and he over-thinks saying it so much. What does he say? How does he say it? What if you don’t say it back?

·         In the end it sort of happens naturally and when he’s not even thinking about it. You’re both walking through the Fire Gardens. You’re asking him some questions about it. You both stop on the bridge. He pops a blossom in your hair, smiling as you adjust it and look up at him. The words leave his lips so quickly that he doesn’t think. He’s racked with fear and guilt, till the words leave your mouth in return. Then those feelings subside, replaced by happiness and joy.  

[inktheblot]

As awful as it was, Fiddleford getting Portal straight to the head was what snapped Stanford out of his Bill-worship and stubborn adherence to the success of the transuniversal metavortex. What if that didn't happen, and Weirdmageddon came to fly 30 years ahead of schedule?

Or, a summary of an AU I will probably never get around to writing but I put too much thought into anyway.

Setting the scene of 1982-Weirdmageddon in full swing. Turning Gravity Falls inside out is fun, but eventually, of course, Bill figures out that he can’t go any further than this stupid hick town. He turns to who else but Stanford Pines, the man who changed the world, for potential solutions. “Hey, pal, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about this barrier thing, would you?”

Ford is basically Bill’s brainwashed little lap pet of the apocalypse by this point. The demon decided to keep him around because messing with him is entertaining and he might happen to have some decent knowledge left in the ol’ noggin that could come in handy later. “You belong here. I am your Muse and you are my Genius,” Bill constantly reminds him, an endlessly repeating mantra in his head. Bit by bit, Bill has twisted Ford’s thoughts and convinced him this is where he was meant to be all along: living among freaks and monsters.

Now Ford is half-asleep and half-drunk from time punch. He starts babbling about the Law of Weirdness Magnetism and how yes, you can drop the barrier. But after layers of intoxication and mind alteration, he’s barely talking coherently at all, so Bill takes things into his own hands. “Hey, don’t wear yourself out, kid! You wouldn’t mind if I just poked around in that brilliant mind of yours for that equation, right? See, it’s no biggie…You rest, Sixer. I’ll handle the hard work here.”

But Ford’s mind is a mess now; it’s not even close to organized anymore. It’s scattered with lots of weirdness, lots of upside-down-ness…and triangles. Lots of triangles. It’s pretty funny, Bill thinks: a couple of years ago, Stanford Pines was the most driven and determined young scientist this side of Dimension 52, and now he’s complete chaos-ified slush.

Bill amuses himself sifting through the disarray of Ford’s Mindscape, until he comes across something very interesting tucked inside a battered textbook. It’s an old photograph of two near-identical boys posing on a beach, all sunburns and smiles. 

Bill gets a Wonderful Awful Idea.

“OH BOY. OH BOY OH BOY. CONGRATULATIONS, MISSUS PINES, IT’S TWINS!” 

How HILARIOUS would it be to hold a little family reunion??? While Bill’s physical form can’t leave Gravity Falls - yet - the Dreamscape is still his to conquer, and it won’t take long for him to pick up this second Stan. He puts Ford’s mind to sleep and returns to the material world, only to project his dream form back outward moments later. He leaves the town - and his pet - in the hands of his Henchmaniacs.

Stanley is, frankly, in deep shit, as we might expect. By the time he dreams of this floating nacho, he’s just about had it with the world. Since he never got that postcard from his brother, he’s pretty convinced that no one gives a damn about him and nothing in his life is gonna turn around anytime soon. He’s pretty dead set on ending it all, but he figured he’d at least sleep on it before being too rash.

Then along comes this triangle guy who seems to know Lots of Things, throwing haughty proclamations and bizarre nicknames left and right. “Hey, Fish Head, you’re a bargaining man, yeah? How’s about striking a deal with me,” he proposes. “Before you go blowing your brains out, I thought maybe you might want to see your brother one more time…”

Stan is not on his conman A-game. He's too exhausted and miserable to try sorting through riddles and deals and God knows what else. He does protest the offer at first: “Nah, why bother? I haven’t seen him in like, what, twelve years? He hates me.” But eventually he figures this is all a dream, and anyway, he has nothing to lose. So he shakes the demon’s hand.

The blue fire thing is a little creepy, but he doesn’t have much time to process it, since the next thing he knows, his body is being yanked out from under him. 

He regains consciousness somewhere that must be very far away from the deadends of New Mexico. This doesn’t look remotely like his trashy motel room. It doesn’t look like Earth at all, really. “What the hell is this? Is this hell?? Is that what that flyin’ corn chip was getting at? I’m dead, I’m in hell, and - and - and Ford’s here too! That’s it, isn’t it? This is it? This is - this is the end?”

Right on cue, Stanley catches sight of his brother, now somewhat awake and alert again, floating in midair, glowing yellow and looking utterly…well…demonic. Something deep within Stan breaks. He balls up in manic panicked laughter on the floor of the Fearamid.

Things don’t go too well between a Stanley barely alive and a Stanford spellbound by otherdimensional evil. An ugly conversation fueled by old grudges and new magic commences.

Eventually Stan finds a means of temporary escape from Bill’s lair, dropping onto the streets of chaos-torn Gravity Falls, muttering curses to himself all the while. The next human being he happens to run into is none other than Fiddleford McGucket, decently crazy but still technically sane. That’s when solutions start happening…if tackling a grumbly guy in the street because "DID YOU SAY STANFORD?! YOU’VE SEEN STANFORD?!” is any way for things to start shaping up.

Fidds is safe, relatively speaking. When things started getting messed up, he immediately figured Ford’s research had something to do with it. He rushed over to Ford’s house, where everything was pretty much wrecked, but he managed to snatch up Journal 1 and the components for the unicorn-hair protection spell. Then he found a shed to put up the shield around, to keep himself alive at the very least. He avoided use of the memory gun as best he could, figuring a situation like this would require all his wits, and anyway, trying to forget about this living nightmare wouldn’t make it disappear.

Stan and Fiddleford explain to each other as much as they know about Stanford and the situation at hand, and begin to formulate a plan. They return to the Fearamid with the memory gun. One of them distracts Bill while the other blasts his influence out of Ford’s head.

The three reconvene. Stan and Fidds attempt to jog Ford’s memory: just enough to get him to understand what’s going on, but not so much that he falls back under Bill’s power.

Seeing the people he loves most so distraught ignites something in Ford. He is reminded of all the things he wished he’d said to them, all that he owes them, and he knows what he has to do to make it up to them. As if again possessed but now by a benign force, he sets the memory gun in his own name and summons Bill into his mind one last time, offering up his genius and the equation needed to escape Gravity Falls.

Bill answers the call immediately, meandering through Ford’s mind in search of his prize, only to realize soon enough that everything is going down in blue flames. He whips around to find the image of Ford staring him down, his eyes clearer than they have been in over a year.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Bill shrieks. "YOU’RE DESTROYING EVERYTHING! WHAT ABOUT ALL WE WORKED FOR?! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! YOU ARE MY GENIUS! I AM YOUR MUSE!”

“It’s true that there is great Genius involved in this, but you won't find it in here,” Ford murmurs, thinking of his brother and his best friend holding down the trigger on the other side of his consciousness. “No one else will suffer from your trickery…or my foolishness."

Bill screams. Ford exhales. The Mindscape fades to white. The invasive weirdness evaporates from Earth Dimension 46’;.

Ford awakens to Stan and Fiddleford leaning over him, tears in their eyes and worry on their faces. They manage to convince their amnesiac companion to return to his old house, but any hope of restoring his memory seems for naught…

That is, until Fidds happens upon a stray thirty-eight-sided die stuck in the floorboards. “This was our favorite game in college,” he explains to Stan wistfully. “Kinda nerdy, maybe, but we sure had fun with it. How did that chant thingummy go? Something like…‘with pen and paper, shield and sword…’”

A weak and tired, but nevertheless passionate voice sounds from the other side of the room.

“‘Our quest shall be our sweet reward.'"

[silvershadow1398]

BOLD WHAT APPLIES TO YOU:

You are currently sick. You really really hate being sick. French is the language you are learning / have learned in school. Your have thick lips. - hate them You have clear skin. You wish you were taller so that you could model. - yes except i don’t want to pursue modeling A tornado recently devastated your area. You exercise at least five days out of the week for more than an hour. - normally yes but not this semester You watch The River. You watch The Walking Dead. Your hair is dark brown. You’re really shit at math. - i’m meh You’re stubborn. You would consider yourself an opportunist. You enjoy having nightmares. You have more lip products than any other sort of cosmetic. In the way of material items, you get almost everything you want. You’re spoiled. You need to distance yourself from most people in your life. You don’t like most of the people in your life. When you’re at home, you spend most of your time in your bedroom. You’re in love with a loser. You lost your virginity in a vehicle of some sort. You would like to have a pilot’s license. You’re still a minor. You love the brand Obey. You love the brand Wildfox Couture. You love to go thrifting. You love to go shopping. You are most unhappy in the winter. Your hands are always ice cold. You own a lot of decorations that are covered in peace signs. You shower more than once a day. The deoderant you most commonly use is Ban. You smoke weed. You don’t eat anything that comes from an animal. You love cucumber. You are considered underweight. You love Burt’s Bees. There is a candle burning in your room. You don’t smoke cigarettes. You own something from Juicy Couture. You own something from Louis Vuitton. You own something from Dooney & Bourke. You think it’s okay to wear yoga pants to the grocery store. You have matured a great deal recently. You hate throwing up more than anything. Your mother craved peanut butter when she was pregnant with you. You think tattoos are trashy. You are not religious or spiritual. You don’t understand the concept of spirituality. - but i totally respect everyone!!! You are not paranoid about your government. You would like to live in a different state / province than where you live. You have been expelled from school. You have been expelled from more than one school. You have kissed an ex-boyfriend’s older brother. You have been cheated on. Completely. You have cheated on someone. Completely. You are attracted to females but you’re more attracted to guys. You have made out with a chick. You could only see yourself in a serious relationship with a guy. - though i am ace You have lost a friend to suicide. You are addicted to the game Draw Something on your iPhone. You have a small lisp that you hate. You have a dentist’s appointment this week. You have never had a cavity. You think it’s gross if you don’t wash your hair every day. You like the clothing brands Moosejaw and The North Face. Every time you go to the mall you must visit American Eagle and Target. You go to the mall at least once a week. You get all awkward when a guy you don’t know asks for your number. You have an iPhone You wish you had an XBOX so you could play Skyrim. You have a Wii. You love Zelda games. You love Mario games. You love Pokemon games. You have been taking fashion risks lately. Your hair is it’s natural color. Your hair lies past your boobies. You love your boobies. - sure You’re an A cup. You have pale skin. You love movies, film and cinema. You have a lot of crushes on male celebrities and musicians. Most of your ex-boyfriends have not had short hair. You used to tan but you don’t anymore. You have abs. You don’t know how to do much with your hair. You usually wear your hair straightened, down. - it’s naturally pin straight You have friends that work at fast food restaurants. You live with neither of your parents. You feel like a lot of people in your life are toxic. You’re very fragile. You’re very quiet. You feed too much off of male attention. You own a pair of pastel colored skinny jeans. You own a pair of UGGs. You own a pair of Minnetonkas. You own a pair of BC Dakotas. You own a pair of Jeffrey Campbells. You own a pair of Dolce Vitas. You want a job. Any job. All of your grandparents are dead. - one is You think tight, colorful printed ts with ‘cute’ characters are tacky. You’re annoyed with people who ask you not to take the Lord’s name in vain. You have stolen currency from a family member. You have taken alcohol that didn’t belong to you. You have taken marijuana that didn’t belong to you. You have taken prescription pills that didn’t belong to you. You take diet pills. You love to cuddle. You’re far too vulnerable when it comes to cute members of the opposite sex You wouldn’t date someone who wasn’t fit. - no need to go crazy but it would be nice if they were healthy You break expensive technological equipment quite frequently. You watch a lot of the HBO series. You can get really nasty when you’re hurt. But you are generally the world’s most passive-est person. You use the word ‘like’ too often. You like Abercrombie & Fitch better than Hollister Co.. You get annoyed when you hear someone use the term ‘prep’ in a negative way. You’re sick of hearing about things found on Pinterest by your friends. You compare yourself to every walking creature you encounter. You’ve let yourself be used by a hot, popular guy. Your relationship status has been changing on a daily basis. You love Belvita breakfast crackers. Your favorite food is strawberries. You idolize Johnny Depp. Your camera is a Nikon. Most of your electronics are made by Apple if Apple makes it - some You would be uncomfortable making out with a boy in public. You love Urban Outfitters. You love Forever21. You get annoyed when you hear someone making fun of Justin Bieber. You flirt so much you don’t even realize it. You’re not opposed to wearing really short shorts in the summer. Summers are extremely hot where you live. You don’t have any pets. You love the colors red and pink together. Your favorite color is purple. You love to go on hikes. You would jog more if you weren’t so worried about how you look running. You enjoy doing laundry. You enjoy brushing your teeth. - i don’t ENJOY it but it feels good when i do You’re very uncoordinated. You know how to shoot a gun properly. You love going to a gun range. You would love to learn archery. You have been on a volleyball team. You have been on a softball team. You have been on a gymnastics team. You were a Girl Scout. Your favorite condiment is mustard. Your straightener is a GHD: Katy Perry’s edition. You live in a college town. Your ex-boyfriend was an exchange student. You will, without a doubt, attend and graduate college. - not 100% but likely You will never try meth. You will never try heroin. You have tried acid. You have tried shrooms. You would like to live in a more tropical climate. You’re incapable of being happy in cold weather. You don’t count calories but you always seem to know how much you’ve had. You drink mostly water. You like to dance to songs like Wop and Wobble. Your favorite animated movie is Despicable Me. You love everything Disney and Pixar. You like to watch 'haul’ videos on YouTube. You’re subscribed to GlamBag. You’re subscribed to Surf magazine. You’re subscribed to Maixm magazine. You’re subscribed to Spin magazine. You’re subscribed to The Wall Street journal. You’re subscribed to a lot of magazines and things you don’t pay for. You have a flat stomach. - mostly??? You thoroughly love your body. You don’t feel comfortable wearing a bikini around strangers or in public. You love to swim! You babysit younger family members for free on occasion. You touch your hair a lot. You love kissing laying down. You’ve been to Universal Studios. You’ve been to Disney Land. You’ve been to a Six Flags. You’ve been to a Hard Rock Cafe. You have never left the country you live in. You’re guilty of gossiping. You love raunchy adult cartoons (Bob’s Burgers, Family Guy, etc.) You love EpicMealTime. The Office makes you giggle. You’ve read all of The Hunger Games books. You’ve read all of the Game of Thrones books. You’ve read all of the Sookie Stackhouse series. You’ve read all of the Harry Potter books. You wish you were like, 12, again. You’re getting an apartment in a big city very soon. You need your partner to be just a bit dominant in a relationship. You love it when guys pick you up. You don’t believe in any apocalypses. You think you would, though, enjoy a zombie apocalypse. You have most of your teacher’s cell phone numbers and email addresses. - not phone You wouldn’t ever want to date someone younger than you. - not at this age You get along really well with middle-aged women in your family. You love sweet potatoes. You play hide and seek with younger family members. There is a highway within walking distance of your home. You’re shy if a strange guy in public talks to you. You look younger than you are. You are 5'6. You’re mostly happy. You’re always calm. You have breakdowns when no one’s looking. The flooring in your house is wood. - only in one room You could not sleep comfortably in a bed smaller than a queen. You love hugs. You think little kids are kind of gross, but you totally love them anyway.

[cuddlebunny698-blog]

You are currently sick. You really really hate being sick. French is the language you are learning / have learned in school. Your have thick lips. You have clear skin. You wish you were taller so that you could model. A tornado recently devastated your area. You exercise at least five days out of the week for more than an hour. You watch The River. You watch The Walking Dead. Your hair is dark brown. You’re really shit at math. You’re stubborn. You would consider yourself an opportunist. You enjoy having nightmares. You have more lip products than any other sort of cosmetic. In the way of material items, you get almost everything you want. You’re spoiled. You need to distance yourself from most people in your life. You don’t like most of the people in your life. When you’re at home, you spend most of your time in your bedroom. You’re in love with a loser. You lost your virginity in a vehicle of some sort. You would like to have a pilot’s license. You’re still a minor. You love the brand Obey. You love the brand Wildfox Couture. You love to go thrifting. You love to go shopping. You are most unhappy in the winter. Your hands are always /ice/ cold. You own a lot of decorations that are covered in peace signs. You shower more than once a day. The deoderant you most commonly use is Ban. You smoke weed. You don’t eat anything that comes from an animal. You love cucumber. You are considered underweight. You love Burt’s Bees. There is a candle burning in your room. You don’t smoke cigarettes. You own something from Juicy Couture. You own something from Louis Vuitton. You own something from Dooney & Bourke. You think it’s okay to wear yoga pants to the grocery store. You have matured a great deal recently. You hate throwing up more than anything. Your mother craved peanut butter when she was pregnant with you. You think tattoos are trashy. You are not religious or spiritual. You don’t understand the concept of spirituality. You are not paranoid about your government. You would like to live in a different state / province than where you live. You have been expelled from school. You have been expelled from more than one school. You have kissed an ex-boyfriend’s older brother. You have been cheated on. Completely. You have cheated on someone. Completely. You are attracted to females but you’re more attracted to guys. You have made out with a chick. You could only see yourself in a serious relationship with a guy. You have lost a friend to suicide. You are addicted to the game Draw Something on your iPhone. You have a small lisp that you hate. You have a dentist’s appointment this week. You have never had a cavity. You think it’s gross if you don’t wash your hair every day. You like the clothing brands Moosejaw and The North Face. Every time you go to the mall you must visit American Eagle and Target. You go to the mall at least once a week. You get all awkward when a guy you don’t know asks for your number. You have an iPhone You wish you had an XBOX so you could play Skyrim. You have a Wii. You love Zelda games. You love Mario games. You love Pokemon games. You have been taking fashion risks lately. Your hair is it’s natural color. Your hair lies past your boobies. You love your boobies. You’re an A cup. You have pale skin. You love movies, film and cinema. You have a lot of crushes on male celebrities and musicians. Most of your ex-boyfriends have not had short hair. You used to tan but you don’t anymore. You have abs. You don’t know how to do much with your hair. You usually wear your hair straightened, down. You have friends that work at fast food restaurants. You live with neither of your parents. You feel like a lot of people in your life are toxic. You’re very fragile. You’re very quiet. You feed too much off of male attention. You own a pair of pastel colored skinny jeans. You own a pair of UGGs. You own a pair of Minnetonkas. You own a pair of BC Dakotas. You own a pair of Jeffrey Campbells. You own a pair of Dolce Vitas. You want a job. Any job. All of your grandparents are dead. You think tight, colorful printed ts with ‘cute’ characters are tacky. You’re annoyed with people who ask you not to take the Lord’s name in vain. You have stolen currency from a family member. You have taken alcohol that didn’t belong to you. You have taken marijuana that didn’t belong to you. You have taken prescription pills that didn’t belong to you. You take diet pills. You love to cuddle. You’re far too vulnerable when it comes to cute members of the opposite sex You wouldn’t date someone who wasn’t fit. You break expensive technological equipment quite frequently. You watch a lot of the HBO series. You can get really nasty when you’re hurt. But you are generally the world’s most passive-est person. You use the word ‘like’ too often. You like Abercrombie & Fitch better than Hollister Co.. You get annoyed when you hear someone use the term ‘prep’ in a negative way. You’re sick of hearing about things found on Pinterest by your friends. You compare yourself to every walking creature you encounter. You’ve let yourself be used by a hot, popular guy. Your relationship status has been changing on a daily basis. You love Belvita breakfast crackers. Your favorite food is strawberries. You idolize Johnny Depp. Your camera is a Nikon. Most of your electronics are made by Apple if Apple makes it You would be uncomfortable making out with a boy in public. You love Urban Outfitters. You love Forever21. You get annoyed when you hear someone making fun of Justin Bieber. You flirt so much you don’t even realize it. You’re not opposed to wearing really short shorts in the summer. Summers are extremely hot where you live. You don’t have any pets. You love the colors red and pink together. Your favorite color is purple. You love to go on hikes. You would jog more if you weren’t so worried about how you look running. You enjoy doing laundry. You enjoy brushing your teeth. You’re very uncoordinated. You know how to shoot a gun properly. You love going to a gun range. You would love to learn archery. You have been on a volleyball team. You have been on a softball team. You have been on a gymnastics team. You were a Girl Scout. Your favorite condiment is mustard. Your straightener is a GHD: Katy Perry’s edition. You live in a college town. Your ex-boyfriend was an exchange student. You will, without a doubt, attend and graduate college. You will never try meth. You will never try heroin. You have tried acid. You have tried shrooms. You would like to live in a more tropical climate. You’re incapable of being happy in cold weather. You don’t count calories but you always seem to know how much you’ve had. You drink mostly water. You like to dance to songs like Wop and Wobble. (-: Your favorite animated movie is Despicable Me. You love everything Disney and Pixar. You like to watch ‘haul’ videos on YouTube. You’re subscribed to GlamBag. You’re subscribed to Surf magazine. You’re subscribed to Maixm magazine. You’re subscribed to Spin magazine. You’re subscribed to The Wall Street journal. You’re subscribed to a lot of magazines and things you don’t pay for. You have a flat stomach. You thoroughly love your body. You don’t feel comfortable wearing a bikini around strangers or in public. You love to swim! You babysit younger family members for free on occasion. You touch your hair a lot. You love kissing laying down. You’ve been to Universal Studios. You’ve been to Disney Land. You’ve been to a Six Flags. You’ve been to a Hard Rock Cafe. You have never left the country you live in. You’re guilty of gossiping. You love raunchy adult cartoons (Bob’s Burgers, Family Guy, etc.) You love EpicMealTime. The Office makes you giggle. You’ve read all of The Hunger Games books. You’ve read all of the Game of Thrones books. You’ve read all of the Sookie Stackhouse series. You’ve read all of the Harry Potter books. You wish you were like, 12, again. You’re getting an apartment in a big city very soon. You need your partner to be just a bit dominant in a relationship. You love it when guys pick you up. You don’t believe in any apocalypses. You think you would, though, enjoy a zombie apocalypse. You have most of your teacher’s cell phone numbers and email addresses. You wouldn’t ever want to date someone younger than you. You get along really well with middle-aged women in your family. You love sweet potatoes. You play hide and seek with younger family members. There is a highway within walking distance of your home. You’re shy if a strange guy in public talks to you. You look younger than you are. You are 5'6. You’re mostly happy. You’re always calm. You have breakdowns when no one’s looking. The flooring in your house is wood. You could not sleep comfortably in a bed smaller than a queen. You love hugs. You think little kids are kind of gross, but you totally love them anyway.

[laughingpinecone]

Trick or Treat letter

Likes: worldbuilding, slice of life (doubly so if the event the fic focuses on is made up but canon-specific), missing moments, 5+1 and the likes, bonding and emotional support/intimacy, physical intimacy, lingering touches, loyalty, casefic, surrealism, established relationships, future fic, hurt/comfort or just comfort from the ample canon hurt, throwing characters into non-canon environments, banter, functional relationships between dysfunctional individuals, unexplained mysteries, bittersweet moods, journal/epistolary fic where applicable, dreams and memories and identities, tropey plots when they make the uniqueness of the characterization and/or relationship shine

For art, I like works that feel more like a book illustration than a book cover, if you know what I mean? Regardless of the level of skill and detail involved, I like it a lot better when the picture feels like a candid photo of the character(s) than when it’s a pose.

Cool with: what-ifs, AUs, any tense, any pov, any rating, plotty, not plotty, IF, nerdy canon references, unrequested characters popping up

DNW: non-canonical rape, non-canonical children, unrequested ships, canon retellings

Ghost Trick

I love Cabanela being fierce and dazzling bright and determined and loyal to the very end, dancing to his own rhythm, so sure of himself and of his ideas that he doesn’t even need to prove to anyone that he’s right. Too sure of the wrong idea, once, and everything crashed and burned.

And I love Jowd being the immovable object to Cabanela’s unstoppable force, a self-depreciating asshole with a penchant for gallows humor that grows more morbid by the hour, and also incredibly smart (both assholes figured out Sissel’s powers better than Sissel did) and athletic and with an unsuspected talent for stealth.

I love how they work as a team, as best friends (with Jowd being the most important person for Cabanela, but Alma and Kamila being the most important for Jowd), I love how Jowd keeps his memories but Cabanela doesn’t and how this probably changes their dynamic in the new timeline. And what about the opposite, what about an alternate scenario where Cabanela is the one who keeps his memories? And I also ship them very much, especially in the new timeline with Alma (married couple+1) (honestly, Jowd knowing how much Cabs did for him and remembering him broken and bloodied is A Lot. especially if he’s a lil into it) or just the two of them when she is dead (no-reset scenarios etc).

But I also love how they play off other characters. Sissel has a great dynamic with both of them, Missile is also fierce and determined and loyal to the very end, Pigeon Man always needs more love especially from either or both his two canon friends, Jowd mentoring Lynne is a wonderful thing and so is their Special Investigation Unit equivalent aka Cabanela mentoring Memry… I like Yomiel’s potential with Jowd, they’re great foils with imho potential for a great odd friendship, while I’d ask for no Cabanela and Yomiel fic of any kind.

I also nominated Emma due to a Discord-induced plot bunny: it’s a pity she never learned that the annoying dog next door was in fact a wonderful, noble soul, so… could she ever find out? And then switch to writing about furries Maybe a slight what-if during game events where she dies and Missile saves her? Or just Emma being Emma, writing her gloriously trashy novels and living the life. I love her so.

Gorogoa

I'm interested in worldbuilding and connections between all the situations in the game. Both in fic and art, pick a corner, any corner (or more!) of this journey and explore it in any way that rings true for you. How is Gorogoa's presence palpable in the very fabric of this world, and how does the boy perceive it? How is... literally anyone and/or anything... connected to anyone and/or anything else? Pick a scene and run with it, really, I’m enchanted by the whole thing and curious to see more.

Obduction

Worldbuilding worldbuilding worldbuilding! And journals, if you like the format. I love all three mains and all possible friendships or… one-sided strained friendships between them. How does Farley live with the consequences of her plan? What did Josef do before he was elected, or after someone else succeeds him, or does he turn out to be an incredibly effective mayor after the game’s events when people need his brand of unrelenting enthusiasm to start a new life on a new planet? When does CW accept that he’s not going home again? How was Farley elected and why did she step down immediately? Do CW and/or Josef get to meditate with the Arai at some point? How’s friendship with a Villein? What do they find on this new world?

Out of all the possibilities given by OC obductees, one of my favorites is some unwitting D’ni getting pinecone’d during the Fall. Josef does greet us in D’ni after all, who taught him that? Just imagine the possibilities. Would they fit in? How? What would they think of the seeds as opposed to linking books? How would they take the fake Myst linking book and Unwritten rulebook that also got pinecone’d to Hunrath?

And what about Karl Hunrath himself? As soon as I found out that he was a real UFO enthusiast, I was hooked. This skirts close to RPF which usually isn’t my thing, but as an Uru fan sometimes you gotta draw the line a lot farther than usual. Just give me anything about this complicated man who threw away his life looking for aliens and ended up confined in an Earth bubble with a whole alien world outside… and eventually changed that place’s society so much that it was named after him.

From the Playstation patch: how’s Hunrath’s night life at the pub and what kind of barista is Farley (the recipes show her handwriting)? How did CW react to a whole-ass Russian submarine being pinecone’d right under his workshop?

Syberia

First game only please, no spoilers beyond that, although I hope to have at least started the sequel by the time the collection goes live. I just liked it so much that I had to request it… I like the mood of this world, how it feels weird to Kate but not too weird, and I like to imagine that her New York, too, was a little more fanciful than the one we know. The train, too, is a wonderful setting and always a joy to go back to. So I would ask for any kind of scene taking place on the train or focused on the train. Any character or platonic combination of characters – Oscar and Kate have an established odd friendship that I adore, they’re both fascinating characters in their own right and Oscar gets no solo focus while Kate’s more introspective moments are tied to her phone calls and her old life in NY, so I think there’s fertile ground for more fannish explorations. And Helena! Oh how I loved Helena. Did she and Kate bond during her trip? What kind of shenanigans could they be up to? Or what about Helena and Oscar, how does talking to a second automaton change her perception of both of them?

The Last Remnant

I love how distinct all these characters managed to be thanks to their battle quotes, their red bubble dialogues, and even their unique stat (‘authority’ is a natural fit for David but 'romance’ tells me something new about Sibal!). I fell in love with the overall feeling of this weird setting and especially with these characters, so I’m mostly asking for fic that explores their personalities, with a sprinkle of worldbuilding if you feel like it, or art that shows them living their daily lives.

Any and all Qsiti: just give me the deets on Qsiti worlduilding and I’ll be a happy camper. I ship these three very much but I’m also invested in their friendship and in each of them as a singular character. The fact that Pagus is a goddamn catch is one of my favorite things, and he can be a smart cookie with any of the other smart cookies in the party, or be a history buff with Glenys, or tutor Yuniver. Proud, paranoid chatterbox Maddox entrenched in his cover-up stories, finding it hard to stop being a spy and relax, maybe spending time with someone very simple, like Sheryl, or a very different kind of fellow veteran like Roberto. Self-assured Sibal who probably knows a lot about the mysteries of the underground world and is also the most romantic soul out of the entire cast, talking volcanoes with Paris or discussing the Rainbow Bond with Haruko? If you also like all three of them, either as old friends or as a ship, who of them comes up with what excuse to reconnect again now that Remnants are no more, or do they drop all pretenses and admit they just want to make up for lost time?

David: The outstanding cinnamon roll who accomplished so much, but at what cost :( I’m interested in post-canon for him, adjusting to a life without remnants - how did it feel to be bound to one or two of them anyway, and what’s it like without, and suddenly knowing you’ll be the first Nassau in who knows how long who’ll reach old age? - and without Rush. Speaking of whom, I’m cool with the ship and I love Rush’s role in the plot but I mostly didn’t connect with how Rush himself was actually written, so if you want to write him in I’d like a much bigger focus on his supernatural nature, how he was a strange boy with a good heart (Things Unchangeable meant so much to me!) who ignored human social conventions because he was not in fact human. If you wanna do a “Rush comes back” reunion fic, romantic or not, I’d like it to be more than a decade into the future and with emphasis on Rush’s Remnant nature. Back to David, who otoh is very much entrenched in human social conventions, I’d like to see him find support and friendship even outside his trusted Generals. I’d be interested in seeing him get closer to any unique leader you might like, I can easily see half the characters absolutely adoring him sooner or later. From the Duke of Ghor to Roberto, to sweet Zolean who knows what it’s like to lose someone dear and hope he comes back, or Rhagoh & Remnant Kate, or Paris or Jager or, eventually, even Allan…

Kate: identity shenanigans and characters who are not real in the conventional sense are always a fave topic of mine and Kate delivers. Is she still around after the Remnant that created her disappeared? Yes? No? Somewhere in between? Does she feel freed by this new development? In trying to find her own sense of self separate from Rhagoh’s, who does she reach out to?

Zolean: just give my boy something nice. Some extended closure. A found family who loves him. Someone to talk military strategies with. A pupil. Someone who knows the deepest roads of Siebenbur. A boyfriend. All of the above. This fish is too nice and too sad, please help him.

Twin Peaks

I figured Trick or Treat would be the best exchange to have a snowball’s chance in Hell of getting fanworks about the secondary characters of TPTR, so, here goes… I like the whole canon, books included, and the whole cast up to and including James, so feel free to add whomever your fanwork idea may require, nominated or not.

Cyril Pons: after he got unceremoniously booted from TV and had to adapt to living at the trailer park, what’s he like? Is he still a journalist at heart, has he ever walked into something news-worthy in the woods? Is he chummy with other good folks who like to venture into the woods (Hawk, Margaret etc)? Did the internet offer him new opportunities like it did Jacoby? How Mark Frost-like is he?

Freddie Sykes: used by supernatural forces beyond our comprehension, being made to kill a man and ? dissolve ? a demon, and then discarded like a, well, used glove,  what’s next for One-Punch Brit? I’m interested in little surreal scenarios that could occur because of his glove and also any kind of bonding with other folks in town. We only see him with James, but if he’s here to stay, he’s gotta meet more people! Maybe he hits it off with Wally? The baseline for me would be that this glove is cool but also a responsibility, a disability, and has already packed quite some trauma on the guy.

Marjorie Green: Right off the bat, I thought she was adorable. I still think that and, after seeing people jokingly call her “the Dog Lady”, I noticed a few parallels between her and the more widely known Log Lady. Marjorie is another version of Margaret, the color green appears to be connected to the connections between worlds, and little Armstrong did tell her something that only he could perceive, jumpstarting the whole Buckhorn plot. Therefore: what other strange happenings did this unlikely duo stumble into? What does Marjorie see that we do not?

Maggie Brown: oh look it’s the Mandatory Sensible Person at the Sheriff’s station. Or is she? We don’t know much except that she looks so cool and sensible and I love her. Does she hang out with Andy and Lucy? What’s her relationship with the sheriffs? What about Chad? What weird things does she get to listen to through those headphones?

Jesse Holcomb: the yin to Maggie’s yang, this is still a request for Sheriff’s Station shenanigans but he’s the weirdo of the new crop and I love him. What the hell was that about… everything about him, really? Does he just appear at crime scenes out of seemingly nowhere? What???

Wally Brando: the king. Just give me anything Wally. Wally being Wally with Lucy and Andy being Lucy and Andy. Harry godfathering him and getting him into the whole Marlon Brando aesthetic (or Andy and Lucy themselves, heck, they’re the ones who named him that). Young Wally vs young Richard. Wally crossing through worlds on his cool motorcycle. Frank who just does. not. get. him. but Harry says he’s a good kid so he rolls with it. Wally being otherworldly cool in general.

Monica Bellucci: I’m equally down with “that dream was a spirit – maybe even Phil - communicating with Gordon by wearing a Monica Bellucci mask because beautiful women are all he understands” and “actual Monica Bellucci was a spirit all along. That’s just how things are”. Or any other even more ridiculous contextualization of that scene. The more batshit scenarios narrated with a completely straight face the better. Where does she hang out, and with whom? What were Gordon’s other Monica Bellucci dreams like?

[zolganif]

You are currently sick. You really really hate being sick. French is the language you are learning / have learned in school. You have thick lips. You have clear skin. You wish you were taller so that you could model. A tornado recently devastated your area. You exercise at least five days out of the week for more than an hour. You watch The River. You watch The Walking Dead. Your hair is dark brown.-Naturally. But it is currently not that color.  You’re really shit at math. You’re stubborn. You would consider yourself an opportunist. You enjoy having nightmares. You have more lip products than any other sort of cosmetic. In the way of material items, you get almost everything you want. You’re spoiled. You need to distance yourself from most people in your life. You don’t like most of the people in your life. When you’re at home, you spend most of your time in your bedroom. You’re in love with a loser. You lost your virginity in a vehicle of some sort. You would like to have a pilot’s license. You’re still a minor. You love the brand Obey. You love the brand Wildfox Couture. You love to go thrifting. You love to go shopping. You are most unhappy in the winter. Your hands are always / ice / cold. You own a lot of decorations that are covered in peace signs. You shower more than once a day. The deoderant you most commonly use is Ban. You smoke weed. You don’t eat anything that comes from an animal. You love cucumber. You are considered underweight. You love Burt’s Bees. There is a candle burning in your room. You don’t smoke cigarettes. You own something from Juicy Couture. You own something from Louis Vuitton. You own something from Dooney & Bourke. You think it’s okay to wear yoga pants to the grocery store. -I don’t care anymore about what people wear. Their life, not mine.  You have matured a great deal recently. You hate throwing up more than anything. Your mother craved peanut butter when she was pregnant with you. You think tattoos are trashy. You are not religious or spiritual. You don’t understand the concept of spirituality. You are not paranoid about your government. You would like to live in a different state / province than where you live. You have been expelled from school. You have been expelled from more than one school. You have kissed an exes older brother. You have been cheated on. Completely. You have cheated on someone. Completely. You are attracted to females but you’re more attracted to guys. You have made out with a chick. You could only see yourself in a serious relationship with a guy. You have lost a friend to suicide. You are addicted to the game Draw Something on your iPhone. You have a small lisp that you hate. You have a dentist’s appointment this week. You have never had a cavity. You think it’s gross if you don’t wash your hair every day. You like the clothing brands Moosejaw and The North Face. Every time you go to the mall you must visit American Eagle and Target. You go to the mall at least once a week. You get all awkward when a guy you don’t know asks for your number. You have an iPhone. You wish you had an XBOX so you could play Skyrim.  You have a Wii. You love Zelda games. You love Mario games. You love Pokemon games. You have been taking fashion risks lately. Your hair is its natural color. Your hair lies past your boobies. You love your boobies. You’re an A cup. You have pale skin. You love movies, film and cinema. You have a lot of crushes on male celebrities and musicians. Most of your exes have not had short hair. You used to tan but you don’t anymore. You have abs. You don’t know how to do much with your hair. You usually wear your hair straightened, down. You have friends that work at fast food restaurants. You live with neither of your parents. You feel like a lot of people in your life are toxic. You’re very fragile. You’re very quiet. You feed too much off of male attention. You own a pair of pastel colored skinny jeans. You own a pair of UGGs. You own a pair of Minnetonkas. You own a pair of BC Dakotas. You own a pair of Jeffrey Campbells. You own a pair of Dolce Vitas. You want a job. Any job. All of your grandparents are dead. You think tight, colorful printed ts with ‘cute’ characters are tacky. You’re annoyed with people who ask you not to take the Lord’s name in vain. You have stolen currency from a family member. You have taken alcohol that didn’t belong to you. You have taken marijuana that didn’t belong to you. You have taken prescription pills that didn’t belong to you. You take diet pills. You love to cuddle. You’re far too vulnerable when it comes to cute members of the opposite sex You wouldn’t date someone who wasn’t fit. You break expensive technological equipment quite frequently. You watch a lot of the HBO series. You can get really nasty when you’re hurt. But you are generally the world’s most passive-est person. You use the word ‘like’ too often. You like Abercrombie & Fitch better than Hollister Co.. You get annoyed when you hear someone use the term ‘prep’ in a negative way. You’re sick of hearing about things found on Pinterest by your friends. You compare yourself to every walking creature you encounter. You’ve let yourself be used by a hot, popular guy. Your relationship status has been changing on a daily basis. You love Belvita breakfast crackers. Your favorite food is strawberries. You idolize Johnny Depp. Your camera is a Nikon. Most of your electronics are made by Apple if Apple makes it. You would be uncomfortable making out with a boy in public. You love Urban Outfitters. You love Forever21. You get annoyed when you hear someone making fun of Justin Bieber. You flirt so much you don’t even realize it. You’re not opposed to wearing really short shorts in the summer. Summers are extremely hot where you live. You don’t have any pets. You love the colors red and pink together. Your favorite color is purple. You love to go on hikes. You would jog more if you weren’t so worried about how you look running. You enjoy doing laundry. You enjoy brushing your teeth. You’re very uncoordinated. You know how to shoot a gun properly. You love going to a gun range. You would love to learn archery. You have been on a volleyball team. You have been on a softball team. You have been on a gymnastics team. You were a Girl Scout. Your favorite condiment is mustard. Your straightener is a GHD: Katy Perry’s edition. You live in a college town. Your ex was an exchange student. You will, without a doubt, attend and graduate college. You have tried acid. You have tried shrooms. You would like to live in a more tropical climate. You’re incapable of being happy in cold weather. You don’t count calories but you always seem to know how much you’ve had. You drink mostly water. You like to dance to songs like Wop and Wobble. (-: Your favorite animated movie is Despicable Me. You love everything Disney and Pixar. You like to watch 'haul’ videos on YouTube. You’re subscribed to GlamBag. You’re subscribed to Surf magazine. You’re subscribed to Maixm magazine. You’re subscribed to Spin magazine. You’re subscribed to The Wall Street journal. You’re subscribed to a lot of magazines and things you don’t pay for. You have a flat stomach. You thoroughly love your body. You love to swim! You babysit younger family members for free on occasion. You touch your hair a lot. You love kissing laying down. You’ve been to Universal Studios. You’ve been to Disney Land. You’ve been to a Six Flags. You’ve been to a Hard Rock Cafe. You have never left the country you live in. You’re guilty of gossiping. You love raunchy adult cartoons (Bob’s Burgers, Family Guy, etc.) You love EpicMealTime. The Office makes you giggle. You’ve read all of The Hunger Games books. You’ve read all of the Game of Thrones books. You’ve read all of the Sookie Stackhouse series. You’ve read all of the Harry Potter books. You wish you were like, 12, again. You’re getting an apartment in a big city very soon. You need your partner to be just a bit dominant in a relationship. You love it when guys pick you up. You don’t believe in any apocalypses. You think you would, though, enjoy a zombie apocalypse. You have most of your teacher’s cell phone numbers and email addresses. You wouldn’t ever want to date someone younger than you. You get along really well with middle-aged women in your family. You love sweet potatoes. You play hide and seek with younger family members. There is a highway within walking distance of your home. You’re shy if a strange guy in public talks to you. You look younger than you are. You are 5'6. You’re mostly happy. You’re always calm. You have breakdowns when no one’s looking. The flooring in your house is wood. You could not sleep comfortably in a bed smaller than a queen. You love hugs.  You think little kids are kind of gross, but you totally love them anyway.