#trying my bestest to walk around with an open mind to everything and feeling awestruck

[mwebber]

frosh was also surprisingly pleasant idk i thought it’d be much more nervewracking but oh yeah. no yeah we’re gonna be just fine methinks

[ridemedaddyjames]

Split - Part IV

Split - Part III

Pairing: Kevin Wendell Crumb x reader

Warnings: angst, cursing, stockholm syndrome

Words: 2,100

“You mean you don’t wanna leave?” Hedwig questioned, completely befuddled by your response, his attention span dwindling again. “Okay, I’ll show you my room,” he shrugged, taking your hand in his as he led you through the complicated maze. When you finally found his room, it seemed to be a well organized mess. Of course, you could never find anything in here, but he had no trouble at all.

“Hedwig, this is your room!?” You exclaimed, smiling widely at how much it truly represented his mind and personality. With everything strewn about, it made it difficult to maneuver through the mess, but he managed to get to the CD player and turn up the music.

“Do you like it? Miss Patricia gets kinda angry when it’s a mess, and Dennis refuses to come in.” Hedwig said, wondering how you’d feel about all of it.

“I think it’s amazing, it really represents you,” and, just like that, you couldn’t stop yourself from grinning like a child. Hedwig always had that affect on you, to make you happy no matter what the situation may be.

“Wanna dance to some Kanye West?” He asked, grabbing you and showing you how to move as he twisted his body into different directions. You tried to mimic him, turning yourself in the same way, but, instead of dancing, you’d just ended up tripping on a pile of toys and clothes.

Hedwig laughed, bending over to help you up. Being the deviant you are, though, you decided to pull him down with you instead. He landed on the pile of clothes, rolling with laughter. “You’re the bestest friend ever,” he said, finally catching his breath as the two of you got up.

“Well, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you,” you reminded him as you wrapped your arms around him, comfortingly. He held you close, and you could feel him playing with your hair as you giggled.

“Okay, we gotta get back before Mr. Dennis comes, or he’ll be really mad that I let you out. Etcetera,” Hedwig nodded, walking with you back to the room where you were supposed to be being held.

The two of you exchanged one last hug before he disappeared, leaving you alone with your thoughts once again. This time you imagined what it may be like to have kids. Patricia would be the aunt that would spoil them rotten. Hedwig would look at it as having a new friend and twenty-four hour playmate. Dennis would probably see it as a nuisance, and would ask that you keep it contained, and Kevin...Kevin would be the happiest he’s ever been. He would want to prove that he could do it; raise a child without all the problems he had to face growing up. That in itself seemed reason enough to do it, but it was all a fantasy made up in your head, and you realized that when Dennis opened your door and let himself inside.

“I brought you something,” Dennis fidgeted, awkwardly, as he did his best to hide whatever it was behind his back. “Close your eyes, and put out your hands.”

If he’d have said those words to Marcia or Claire they would be screaming with fear, but you could hardly contain the excitement that was coursing through your veins. When you opened your eyes, you found a book resting in your palms. ‘Frankenstein’ you read, feeling an immediate attachment to him as a person with this inanimate object. You ran your fingers over the cover. The pages looked as if it had been read a thousand times, but the binding was so perfect that it seemed to be brand new. This represented how well put together he seemed on the outside, and the story behind those walls; his beautiful disguise. Your eyes lit up at the gesture, your heart racing in your chest.

“I thought you might like something to pass the time. It’s - um - it’s my favorite. You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to, though.” Dennis stated, his Boston accent thicker than usual in part to his nervousness. Tears swelled in your eyes, but you did your best to blink them away, still so awestruck that he had given you something that meant so much to him.

He was being so gentle, and, without even thinking, you leapt from your spot on the small cot to throw your arms around his neck. His hands rested against your waist, taking in the smell of your hair. Dennis was falling for you, and it absolutely terrified him, but you were just as broken as he was, and he couldn’t help but find some sort of comfort in knowing that.

“Dennis, will you dance with me?” You whispered in his ear, feeling his muscles tense at the feeling of your breath on his skin. It had been a weakness of his, and you’d known it from the start. That day he brought you here, asking Marcia to dance with him, you still burned with jealousy that it hadn’t been you in his arms. At first he was hesitant, his fingers landing stiffly against your sides, and you prayed to no one in particular that he would loosen up.

Finally, he moved with you, slowly at first, before the steps had taken on a life of their own. The two of you seeming to follow the same nonexistent rhythm as you danced to nothing at all. By the time you’d finished, you were entirely out of breath, arms around his neck, beaming widely up at him as you felt his chest against yours. You hadn’t realized how close the two of you had been, or how natural it all seemed.

Your insides fluttered, dying to say what was on your mind, but there weren’t enough words to speak how this man made you feel. Which is why you broke the nonexistent barrier, and, without warning, leaned up on your tiptoes to press your lips to his.

Dennis stood there, awkwardly, letting it happen, eyes wide in horror before slowly easing into it. You felt his hand slowly move up your back before holding you closer to him. His other placed, softly, against your cheek. Your eyes fell shut, enjoying every second. Your gut told you that this was wrong, but Gods how it felt so right. This was absolute bliss. This was love.

Suddenly, Dennis pulled away, taking a step back as he put his hands on his hips and stared at the ground. He was thinking, and you wanted to know what went on inside that beautiful mind, until he said something that cut you to your core.

“We can’t,” he realized, breaking the silence. “I shouldn’t have done this, it was a mistake. I can’t get close to you, it’ll only make things harder than they have to be.” He seemed to say it more to himself than to you. Finally, Dennis reached for the door to slam it shut, but you stopped him, taking hold of his thick, bulging, arm, and pressing yourself against him once again.

“Please, please, don’t go. I just,” you stopped, trying to find the words. “I dont want to be alone.”

The hurt in your eyes made him hesitate, and it was that split second of worry that told you he really did care. Before you could stop him, he’d rushed out of the room, leaving you in silence.

Feeling defeated, lost, and alone, you through yourself down on the cot before breaking down in tears. To your surprise, and after what felt like an eternity of sobbing, a soft voice came from the other side of the room. “Y/N, why you cryin?” Hedwig muttered, coming to sit beside you on the tiny bed. You had pulled your legs up to your chest, and, although you hesitated at first, you couldn’t stop yourself from falling into his arms. Hedwig didn’t know how to react, his body going limp compared to the stiffness of Dennis. You rested your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Ultimately, he opted for the safe route as he ran his fingers through your hair, soothingly.

“Is this because of Mr. Dennis? Was he mean to you?” Hedwig finally asked, mustering up the courage to talk to you. “If it is, I told him we’re dating, and that he doesn’t have a chance.”

“Hedwig, I need to tell you something,” you muttered, feeling your heart break once again.

“Wait, wait! Do you like Mr. Dennis?!” Hedwig gasped, unable to comprehend what was happening as he pushed you off of him. “But - but I thought you were my girlfriend?!” He stammered, looking at you like a lost puppy.

“You’re my friend, and I care about you in a different way than I care about him.” You confessed, trying your best to clear up this whole entire situation. “I love you both, just in different ways,” saying it out loud meant finally coming to terms with it, and it only made it hurt worse. Maybe you’d been wrong; maybe Dennis didn’t care about you at all.

“He didn’t pick you! He wanted them. The other girls! You’re mine!” He shouted, bringing you back to reality as your breath caught in your throat. This nine year old had found a way to pour salt in an open wound, and you could feel it eating at you from the inside out.

A heart wrenching sob pulled from your throat, echoing off the walls as you tried to stop yourself from falling apart in front of him. Fuck this, fuck all of it. What made Claire and Marcia so perfect?

Hedwig sat there, fearing what you might do next as the truth soared through your veins like a venomous drug. Your eyes were bloodshot, your throat burned, and you felt like you could never shed another tear, but they still came. “Y/N...do you want me to talk to him? I mean, he doesn’t really listen to me, but I can if you want me to,” Hedwig offered, seeing how hard this was for you. As much as he wanted you for himself, he couldn’t help that he also wanted to make you happy.

“You would do that for me?” You whimpered, wiping the tears from your eyes. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that you didn’t deserve Hedwig as a friend, he was too kind hearted.

“Of course I would, but, I don’t know what you see in him, I think he’s creepy,” Hedwig shivered, making a disgusted face. It was enough to make you smile, leaning in for a quick hug before he took off.

Part of you hated yourself for what you were about to do, but the other half convinced you that it was okay. So, instead of shredding the book that Dennis had given you, you’d decided to read it instead. With every turn of a page you found yourself falling more in love with him as a person, and understanding why this book mattered to him so much. As your eyes grew heavy, you pulled the book against your chest, cradling it in your arms; which is exactly how you’d fallen asleep.

When you woke up, Dennis was standing over you, arms crossed, breathing heavily. It seemed as if he were contemplating how to go about this whole ordeal. Looking up at him, you were sure your eyes were bloodshot, and you realized your appearance must have been questionable.

“Speak,” he finally ordered, making you jump at how dark his voice was. This was a side of him that you’d rarely seen, and it was starting to make you nervous. It should’ve absolutely terrified you, made you cower beneath him. No, this voice did something entirely opposite. It awoke something in you that you’d never felt before; a burning hunger in your gut that was completely alien to you. You needed him like a moth needed a flame, and like an addict needed a drug. He was your drug. Dennis never made it feel like love, though. No, this was cat and mouse to him. Just another game, and, with your head in the clouds, you couldn’t help but let your mouth flow freely with how you’d been feeling from the moment you were brought here.

“I think I love you,” you muttered, giving it everything you had as you threw all caution to the wind. This was your chance to get exactly what you wanted, pain, and lies, and chaos combined. If he didn’t kill you, the adrenaline of your love for him would.