#twelve days of Christmas

[ben-the-hyena]

Second day of Christmas : the Yule Goat

In Scandinavian countries, the Yule Goat or Julbock is an emblematic Christmas figure taken straight from Norse and Germanic mythologies. Inspired from the goats who accompanied Thor and turned malevolent and satanic at the moment of Christianism's coming, he became good again in the 19th century and it was then said he was the one bringing presents to children, before being rewritten agai as just the Julenisse's mate/steed, the elf who is said to be the one bringing gifts more recently. The reason why I drew him crisp burnt is referring to the Gävle Goat, Sweden. It's super funny, but too long tocbe explained here, there are lots of articles and videos on the subject and this year is a new step in its history

[coffee-with-a-view]

Merry Christmas

[grub-karkat-in-strange-places]

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my matesprit gave to me...

Twelve trolls trolling, eleven Dirkers Striding, ten lords a English, nine Jadies dancing, eight maids a miiing, seven drones a culling, six girls a gaying, five fucking rings, four Caliborns, three French-ish girls, two turtle Daves and a grubkat in a pear tree.

[superblysubpar]

12 days of Xmas request:Friends to lovers.

Snowed in alone w Eddie at either his place or yours. Power goes out, no heat. Spend a couple of hours huddled together like eskimos but come nightfall, it’s unbearably cold. And, well, huddling becomes cuddling, cuddling becomes….“how do you think we’re gonna get warm if you’re trying to take my pants off!”

There is still one spot left in my twelve days event if you’d like to request something - no need for it to be Christmas themed, winter activities/stories are more than welcomed too. The playlist so far is linked at the end of the story. Let me know what you think, any interaction is so appreciated and loved! 

Summary: see above ask for summary, I couldn’t help myself and I wrote smut for @boomhauer in an apology for all my joe keery/steve photo blasting lately. I hope you like it! Eddie Munson x you, use of Y/N and petname baby, slight fingering (reader receiving, eddie performing), unprotected PIV intercourse/creampie, coming so fast it'll give you whiplash | This post is NSFW and contains smut so 18+ only

A/N: So sorry this is late, I ended up having a busy weekend and was unable to edit/post from my phone. I hope it was worth the wait! Also, I promise if you don’t like this song, it’s not a creepy fic. It’s just two idiots snuggling in a sleeping bag together that leads to a good time. No coercion I promise. All consensual. 

2.5k words

Day 06 | Track 06: “Baby It’s Cold Outside” by Dean Martin

You thought when your aunt offered up their cabin for a winter getaway it sounded like a great idea. A much needed vacation for the group of you older kids. To be away from Hawkins and the young ones and just be kids yourselves again for a little bit. 

As you watched the sky turn darker, purple tint falling across everything as the white snow fell in what seemed like heapfuls, it’s only mission in life to attack and annihilate the planet, you started to think it was actually the start of a terrible horror movie. 

So far, you were the only one there, your parents dropping you off on their way to their own vacation. You let the curtain fall in front of the window as you searched the cabin, deciding that knowing where extra blankets, candles, and the liquor cabinet was located were all becoming drastically more likely to be of use. 

You were pulling on another sweater and wool socks when the phone rang and you ran to it, sliding a little on the cabin’s wood floors, answering it breathlessly, “Hello?”

Static filled the other side and you tried again, “Hello?”

“Oh! Y/N! Thank god!” Robin’s voice was crackling and you pushed the phone closer to your ear like that would help.

“Robs, I can barely hear you-” more static that made you pull back a little.

“Steve and I are stuck in a little town not too far…” static took over her words, trailing in and out of a coherent sentence, “motel. Eddie should…” and then the line went dead. 

Eddie should what? Should have been here by now? Was she going to say shouldn’t have and then what?

Your fingers started to itch as you realized the phone was completely dead, no static or dial tone. You looked around and the lamps you had clicked on were all out.

Oh shit. Totally a horror movie.

Glad you had in fact located extra candles, you started to light them as the cabin started to fall into darkness and then you heard a loud bang and froze. 

You were alone in a cabin, stuck in a snowstorm with no transportation, and the power went out. You were the idiot who got killed off first and all of your friends would still come up the following day, unsure of what happened and get sucked into the plot of the movie, all running from whoever or whatever got you first.

You grabbed the closest thing to you as you heard the thudding get louder, the door swung open and you lunged towards the figure in the door who was screaming right back at you.

Hands up in the air and large brown eyes blinking at you and you stopped, a box of macaroni noodles suspended in the air as you tried to catch your breath. It was just Eddie.

You threw the box of noodles at him anyways, “Don’t do that! I could have killed you!”

Eddie had his hand over his heart, catching his own breath, but he caught the box with a lopsided grin on his face, “With uncooked pasta?”

You crossed your arms, the sudden chill he let in reminding you that you didn’t have heat anymore and frowned, “Shut up.”

Eddie looked around at the candles and his smile fell, “Fucking hell. Do we not have power?”

You shook your head, “Just went out. Robin called me and-”

“Are they okay? I lost them when we stopped for gas, Steve’s little BMW should not be driving in that shit.”

You nodded and moved your way to the living room, “Yeah from what I could hear, it sounded like they stopped at a motel. So just us tonight I think.”

Eddie smirked as he removed his snow covered outer layers, pushing a duffle bag across the floor. 

You looked at the unlit fireplace and asked, “What? What’s so funny?”

Eddie laughed as he hung up his coat, “Oh just Harrington and Buck stuck in a snowstorm in a tiny motel room. I feel like I’d pay money to watch how that all unfolds, arguing over TV channels, sides of the bed, all that,” he came over to the fireplace, “Plus, you know, we’re definitely living the plot of a horror movie.”

You groaned and rubbed at your cold cheeks, “Don’t say that, I was already thinking that before you got here. I’m the first dumb girl to go.”

Eddie started to poke around in the fireplace and chuckled, “Nah, you’re the first girl. You’re the one who makes it out in the end. Movie ends with you covered in the blood of some crazy monster or serial killer that you defeated in some revenge plot for killing your…”

He trailed off and you tried to calm your heart down, because Eddie saying you were the badass who lived in a horror film over everyone may have been a throwaway comment to him, but for you it was the greatest compliment and you were swooning a little. 

His tongue was out as he concentrated on lighting the logs when the familiar woosh of the flame catching filled the small cabin and his lips fell into a smug and confident smile, you had to turn away from how cute he was. You grabbed all the extra blankets you could find and dumped them in front of the fireplace. He looked at the blankets, the fireplace and then around at all of the candles before his eyes landed on you. Both of you turning away from the other quickly, him mumbling something about changing. 

You tried not to focus on Eddie’s movements as you unrolled your sleeping bag, tucking more blankets into it and over it. As he left and walked down the hall, you took the liberty of unfolding his sleeping bag and went down the hall to change yourself. 

Shivering from being away from the fire for only a few minutes, you returned to find Eddie starting to zip into his sleeping bag, a plain sweater and sweatpants, you had never seen him so casual before, like his layers of defense were gone. 

You tucked yourself in and no matter how you rearranged the blankets, you were freezing. 

You listened as Eddie was doing the same, and you were fairly certain he could hear your teeth chattering.

“Y/N?” 

You rolled to see only his big brown eyes blinking at you, the flames of the firelight flickering in them and his nose poked out, a little pink. You shook from your shivering and he closed his eyes before blowing out his breath, “Okay, I’m totally not trying to be a perv, but would you want to share sleeping bags? I feel like it would help.”

You knew he was right, but the thought of you and Eddie sharing a sleeping bag was overwhelming. But as your teeth clinked together you found yourself nodding. He slowly unzipped his and you crawled in, careful to keep your arms from drifting past his elbows and facing him, chests and legs pressed together but both of you rigid against the other’s body. 

You pulled your sleeping bag and the blankets around you both and already it was better, the heat from the fire on your forehead and Eddie’s breath on your cheek. You pressed your hands tighter, curling up against his chest and looked up at him through your lashes, whispering, “Is this okay?”

He nodded and cleared his throat, arm wrapping around your waist, “This?”

You nodded and took a deep breath, the scent of Eddie’s soapy laundry detergent filling your nose and making you a little dizzy, nose pressed to his collar. 

You inched a little closer, risking the movement of your legs tangling in his a bit, pressing your cheek to his chest and listened to his heart beating rapidly underneath it. You smiled at the thought of him being just as nervous as you and wrapped one of your arms around his waist too, fingers touching the skin on his lower back where his shirt had raised a little. 

He sucked in his breath and you started to pull away, “Sorry, too cold or-”

He pulled you closer, “No! I mean,” his cheeks were pink, and he cleared his throat again, “No, just surprised me. It’s good. It’s nice.”

He was babbling and you scooted closer again. Listening to the fire crackle, Eddie’s heartbeat and breathing slowing, you felt your eyelashes fluttering together. You started to move your fingers up and down Eddie’s spine and he hummed a little, arms wrapping around you tighter.

His own fingers were buzzing small circles into your lower back and you shivered, and didn’t argue when Eddie whispered, “Still cold?” 

You felt him pull your arm away and before you could protest at the lack of contact, he was rolling you, back to his chest and curling you into him, both of his arms wrapped around you and your legs tangled together. 

His breath on your neck and close to your ear as he whispered, “Better?”

You gasped at the heat of his breath on your skin and nuzzled back into him as you nodded. His fingers splayed across your stomach and thigh and you pushed your hips back into him. Your skin was buzzing with electricity, Eddie’s breath in your ear doing something to you that you’d never felt before. You were on the verge of making a needy, whimpering noise when you felt his hardening length pressing into your ass.

You rolled your hips back into him slowly and he nudged against you, fingers continuing to leave a buzzing trail on your stomach and through the layers on your hips. His breath continued to fan up and down your neck. A teasing game you were playing, your hips rocking into him like it could be an accident, him nudging back against you, but the more you kept doing it, you both knew it was on purpose. Bodies slowly pushing closer together and hips rolling against one another. Your heartbeat pounding in your chest and underwear growing wetter as you both slowly grinded into each other.

His nose nudged just under your ear, his lips grazing your skin and your hand laced itself into his, and you arched your back into him, pulling his fingers to your waistband.

You pushed his hand past the layers, thick fingers sliding through your slick easily and you shivered against him, guiding his other hand to your hip and rocking against his fingers moving up and down through your wetness. 

You heard him whisper so quietly, that if his mouth hadn’t been directly behind your ear you wouldn’t have heard him, “fuck me, is this really happening?”

You giggled and wrapped your fingers back into his hair, pulling him to your neck harder, his lips traveling up and down it. You moaned as he nipped at your skin before sucking a bruise into you as his fingers pushed into you deeper. 

Removing his lips from the new mark and trailing down your jaw, he whispered into your skin, “You know, I think I read somewhere that if you take your clothes off, your bodies can-”

You started to pull down your bottom half layers and you felt his fingers still and you grabbed his wrist, pushing him to keep moving and he started babbling into your neck, “Oh my-fuck, okay, you sure?”

You laughed and pushed yourself into his erection, rolling your hips as his fingers continued to glide through your folds, not sure what else to show him how you wanted this desperately so you said, “Yes, Eddie. Gonna take your pants off now or…?”

He nodded into your neck, shimming his sweats down, and you shivered as he slid between your thighs, both of you a little breathless. He reached up and turned your chin, eyes wide and concerned and you knew he was going to be sweet and ask you if you were sure again.

You rolled your eyes and pressed your lips to his and you felt him relax, sighing into your mouth. He pulled away and brushed the hair from your neck, pushing his tip through your folds and into your entrance slowly.

Eddie pushed deeper, both of you gasping at how your walls clutched him tighter, his fingers splayed across your hip, digging into your skin and dragging you up and down slowly and to your delight, he whined into your ear. 

Bodies slowly grinding together, Eddie’s hips rocking up into you, his breath hot on your neck and ear, his hand squeezed your hip once more before trailing up your side till he reached your chest, cupping one of your breasts.

Your eyelids were fluttering closed, the feeling of Eddie sliding in and out of you slowly as his breath buzzed into your skin was sending you into a euphoric state. Eddie pressed more kisses into your neck as his hand traveled back down your stomach.

“Fuck, baby, I’m not gonna last,” he gasped against you and you whined, arching your body away from him, needing more and also already feeling like it was too much. 

Eddie’s fingers pulled some of your slick up and to your clit, pressing soft figure eights into it as his hips started to thrust up into you faster, pulling your leg over atop his, spreading you wider for him. 

You clutched the blankets, the arousal and tension that had been building for too long threatening to snap, “Eddie, please, fuck!” You didn’t even know what you were begging for, wanting him to slow down and go faster all at once. 

He gripped your hip as his other hand worked faster into your swollen bundle of nerves, his thrusts hitting that spongy spot deep inside of you and his breath was hot in your ear as he groaned, “I know, come on, let go for me baby.”

His voice in your ear was the tipping point of no return, his thrusts started to stutter as you screamed out his name, his lips and nose nudging down your neck as his finger continued to swirl and press into you softly. Your orgasm crashing into you both at the same time, tightening around him as you cried out and his hot ropes of cum painted your walls. Both of you were breathless, panting against one another. 

Eddie kissed your neck and laughed a little, “Now is definitely when the killer comes in.”

You smacked his hip, “Eddie!”

You felt his smile against your neck as his arms wrapped around you tighter, despite you being as close as you could be still, and he whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”

His lips brushed down to your collar, fingers tracing soft circles on your bare hip and his nose nudged at your shirt, whispering, “I really did read something about keeping warm without clothes on,” his lips brushed up to your ear again and he squeezed his arm around your waist as he whispered, “It’s only going to get colder outside, baby.”

Twelve Days of Christmas Playlist:

[weatheringtea]

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me Nine ladies dancing, Eight maids a-milking, Seven swans a-swimming, Six geese a-laying, ♪ Five golden rings ♪, Four calling birds, Three French hens, Two turtle doves, And a partridge in a pear tree.

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

When you think of Eleven Pipers Piping..

[originaljediinjeans]

🎼🎵ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS,

MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME,

TWELVE DRUMMERS DRUMMING

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

ELEVEN PIPERS PIPING

🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷

TEN LORDS-A-LEAPING

🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺

NINE LADIES DANCING

💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃

EIGHT MAIDS-A-MILKING

🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄

SEVEN-SWANS-A-SWIMMING

🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️

SIX GEESE A-LAYING

🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚

FIVE GOLDEN RINGS

💍💍💍💍💍

FOUR CALLING BIRDS

🐧🐧🐧🐧

THREE FRENCH HENS

🐔🐔🐔

TWO TURTLEDOVES

🕊🕊

AND A PAAAAAAAARTRIIIIIIIIIIIIIDGE IN A PEAAAAAAARR TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 🐤🎄

[joemerl]

My favorite gift this year was from my girlfriend. She got me a pear tree and a cool partridge to live in it! Thanks, babe!

[daily-teki]

Day 96: on the third day of Christmas, the death game gave to me;

Three French hens

Two turtledoves

And a partri(o)dge in a pear tree

[wrengrif]

Okay, okay, but last Christmas GO thought for the year.

Crowley would, THIS YEAR, send Aziraphale the 'Twelve Days Of Christmas'.

To Heaven. Via Muriel and the Elevator Express.

So please now imagine Heaven with;

12 Partridges in Pear Trees,

22 Turtle Doves,

30 French Hens,

36 Calling Birds

40 Golden Rings

42 Geese A'laying

42 Swans A'swimming (Yeah, he sent along the inflatable pools. Along with all the frozen peas.)

40 Maids A'milking. (Goats. They are milking goats.)

36 Ladies Dancing. (Thank You Mrs. Sandwich.)

30 Lords A'Leaping. (Don't ask.)

22 Pipers piping.

12 Drummers drumming.

The other Archangels are screaming bloody murder as they and all the other angels trying to keep all this chaos under control, save Saraquel who is petting a goat.

Here is Aziraphale, his eyes gleaming with tears, because despite the entire Assholery ... Crowley is still his True Love. Aziraphale holding 40 rings of gold and just mouth wibbling, as he says, "He remembered I like pears."

[junosaccount]

On the first day of Christmas,

🎶 my true love sent to me...

... a prophet in a pear tree 🎶

[stuffaboutminneapolis]

🎶four calling birds

three french hens

two turtle-doves

and a dead pigeon outside the market house building in downtown saint paul🎶

[zinnia-apologist]

On day one, it's a partridge in a pear tree.

On day two, it's two turtle doves, and another partridge in a pear tree. That's three birds today, plus the one bird you already have. Four birds.

On day three, it's three french hens. And then two more turtle doves, and another partridge in a pear tree. 6 new birds + 4 old birds = 10 birds.

On day four, it's four calling birds. Yep, just more birds. And more of the same birds, too. 10 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 20 birds.

On day five, you've finally got something other than birds! Your true love gave you five golden rings! And also more of the same birds you already had -- 20 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 30 birds. You've got 30 birds and 5 rings. You've got a 6:1 bird-to-ring ratio.

Day six? More goddamn birds. Six geese, more of the previous birds, and all the birds you already had. Oh, and five more rings. Current bird math is 30 + 6 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 46 birds. And 10 rings.

Day seven? You guessed it! More birds! 46 + 7 + 6 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 69 birds. Nice. (Oh yeah, and now you have 15 rings.)

Day eight, you've now got eight maids. They're a-milking. I can only assume what they're milking is cows. Do they each come with a brand new milk-ready cow? I can only assume so, because your true love's gonna keep giving you more over the next few days. Hey, wait, does that mean each partridge came with its own pear tree, too? I think we need to expand our math a bit now.

So, we've got 8 human people working on 8 cows, and currently, one pear tree per day, meaning also 8 of those. In addition to our 69 birds (nice), we get another 7 + 6 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 23 birds each of the coming days, because none of our new gifts are going to be any new types of bird, thank goodness. So now we're at 92 birds. Plus, 5 more golden rings, bringing those up to 20. Our current gift ratios:

136 total individual gifts

92 birds (67.6%)

20 golden rings (14.7%)

8 maids (5.9%)

8 cows (5.9%)

8 pear trees (5.9%)

Day nine: Nine ladies dancing! That's more human people. So, our new ratios:

190 total individual gifts

115 birds (60.5%)

25 golden rings (13.2%)

25 women performing services (13.2%)

16 cows being serviced (8.4%)

9 pear trees (4.7%)

Day ten: ten... lords a-leaping??? I don't know what these lords think they're doing. But they sure are here and they sure are a-leaping. And your true love sure did give them to you, as a gift.

254 total individual gifts

138 birds (54.3%)

52 people of varying social status (20.5%)

30 golden rings (11.8%)

24 cows (9.4%)

10 pear trees (3.9%)

Day eleven: Now, it would be funny to insist that the eleven pipers piping are, in fact, sandpipers, a type of bird. But for your sake, I'm going with what is historically assumed -- they are musicians who play pipes. They're just as noisy as the birds, though.

329 total individual gifts

161 birds (48.9%)

90 people (27.4%)

35 golden rings (10.6%)

32 cows (9.7%)

11 pear trees (3.3%)

Day twelve: Oh, you thought the pipers were loud? Have twelve drummers drumming. Oh, and more pipers, and everything else, too.

So! Our grand total:

416 total individual gifts

184 birds (44.2%)

140 people (33.7%)

40 golden rings (9.6%)

40 cows (9.6%)

12 pear trees (2.9%)

Congrats on the birds. Hope you like them. You're never getting rid of them.

[grub-karkat-in-strange-places]

On the fourth day of Christmas, my matesprit gave to me...

Four Caliborns, three French-ish girls, two turtle Daves and a grubkat in a pear tree.

[russetfoxfur]

if any of my christmas wishes ever come true, i want the hermits to try and sing the Twelve Days of Christmas except no one knows the lyrics, the only lyric they can agree on is 'five golden rings', halfway through impulse suggests they start singing Jingle Bells and the Soup Group gets on it, and also mumbo is leading the chorus. just saying. it would be really funny

[weatheringtea]

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me ♬ Four calling birds, Three French hens, Two turtle doves, And a partridge in a pear tree.