#tws01e01 wolf moon

[tin-wufborf]

Teen Wolf Rewatch: Season 1, Episode 1—“Wolf Moon”

All right, party people, please prepare yourself for my morally grey and overly cynical rewatch of a show I both love and hate more than anything. Also, I’m a rambler and a ranter, so this is gonna be long, no doubt.

Also, fair warning, I am not a fan of Scott McCall, so if you’re a proud card-holding member of the Scott McCall Defense Squad (dumb name btw), I recommend that you keep on scrolling because you do not want to engage in discourse with me. I am a petty little bitch and absolutely will argue with you for the sake of arguing. Ya’ll get hilariously upset about people’s dislike of him, and it gives me great joy to see the absolutely pathetic length’s you’ll go to in order to protect this piece of shit ass character.

I know he can’t help it, but I could not stop staring at DOB’s stress herpes that appears intermittently throughout this episode. Like, you can almost track what order scenes were filmed in based on the size of the middle of his top lip. Poor baby was absolutely pressed on his first real acting gig, and his body was absolutely responding to it.

As someone who is from Northern California and has spent time in our wooded areas and forests, it is laughable to me how much these Georgia woods could not be mistaken for California forests in a police lineup. Like, I know they had to make do with what they had, but holy fuck, the foliage in these two states aren’t even fucking close, my dude.

I always love that Scott has a guitar in his room throughout the entirety of the show, but we never once find out whether or not this fool can actually play. Like, it’s literal set dressing, and it’s even more hilarious when you consider that Tyler Posey actually can and does play the guitar. They could have given Scott a cool little skill if they wanted, but they were like “eh, he does lacrosse, that’s enough character traits for Scott”.

Maybe Scott had a fucking asthma attack while looking for the body because he wouldn’t just shut the fuck up and stop complaining about the thing he wasn’t forced to do. Jesus christ, Scott, shut the fuck up. We get it. You don’t wanna be here. But then, like, why did you go?

I also love that they wanted us to believe that Scott was that severely asthmatic at the beginning, but they start the show by showing him putting on a pretty impressive pull-up show and having a pretty nice body before being bitten, like ???

I love the Sheriff shining a flashlight through the sparse trees in the woods like you can’t see everything out there. You could run blindfolded through these trees and not hit a single fucking thing because everything is so damn far apart.

On a related note to the point above, where the fuck did these deer just appear from?? They literally just come from some sort of liminal space that exists behind the trees. Is there a platform nine and three-quarters situation happening in the trees of Beacon Hills?

All of the dead bodies and crime scenes in this show are so clean, my god.

I would have beat the fucking freckles off of Jackson Whittemore for how he treats people, stg. Little fucking punk-ass rich could. Ugh.

I kind of vaguely recall that the reason BHHS is all about lacrosse is that Jeff Davis was trying way too hard to be different, but like…what fucking Northern California public high school is this meant to represent? I’m not saying that it doesn’t or can’t possibly exist, but I would say that the overwhelmingly popular sports in our area are still your basic ass football, baseball, and basketball. In these parts, that’s a rich kid sport. Some public schools have lacrosse teams, but they tend to be even less popular than soccer teams out this way.

So, I love Lydia (or, more so, I love what fans have postulated about her and built her up to be in fandom because she actually kinda sucks as a character with real dimension in the show), but like…she is the worst version of a popular hot chick ever. Lydia Martin is a straight-up bitch in the first season of this show. Like…what a shallow little cunty bitch.

Will continue in a reblog because apparently this has gone on too long and Tumblr likes to tell me what to do.