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#ugh hhhhhgh
moonlight-seraph · 24 days
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🔄 give us the alternate cari
Scooch, you big bitch, or I'm going to fuckin' lay on you.
Ugh.
I see there's a distinct lack of scooching. I fuckin' warned you, Coyote.
Wh-hhhhhgh
Warned you! Yer fuckin' stuck now, dogman. Can't move 'less you wanna kill me.
Why.
'Cause no one actually gets on your ass for playing hooky, and sure as shit no one else's got the cojones to bug you. So you, Coyote, are my alibi for a fuckin' nap. Now hold me. Or I'm gonna bite you.
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soft-sadist · 3 years
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Another night with an aching full belly, and i still have more to eat waiting for me 😩💕💦
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autisticbillpotts · 5 years
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me listening to the penumbra podcast: oh rita you are so stupid and smart and bisexual
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benreys-realm · 3 years
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Chapter: 7 Jail Break Gone Wrong
This was far from how Gordon expected to bust Benry out of Black Mesa. Possibly smuggling him out, sure. Something SAFER AND LESS LIFE THREATENING, but definitely not this. Much to Gordon’s utter horror, Tommy and Barney took a literal SNATCH AND DASH tactic, both seeming to just stare at Gordon oddly each time he mentioned what a horrid idea this truly was. But, he sure was learning a lot today.
First thing, neither Tommy nor Barney are even human. Nope, Tommy, oh his yeah he had his suspicions, but BARNEY?! This was not exactly expected. Just seemed to jolly and cheery, and while Gordon was busy clutching Benry close to his chest hiding behind some very large metal storage crates while both Tommy and Barney went full on assault on the guards and military. From what he could hear, not even heavy duty guns could put a dent in Barney.
Tommy, seemed to have some sort of magic or powers that he couldn’t explain keeping him safe. Meanwhile, Benry was busy snoring away in Gordon’s arms with some very heavy duty noise cancelling headphones on. Apparently, Benry sleeps like a baby whenever Gordon holds him, and this was no exception. Literally, napping through a massive ass battle with bombs, gunfire, and all sorts of bullshit happening. Unbelievably, typical. Was he SERIOUSLY the only human within this group?
After things seemed to go quiet, only the sounds of Barney’s heavy breathing and Tommy’s exhausted sigh gave the signal the fight must’ve been over, for now. They’ve been making horribly slow progress, and Gordon was sure he was only slowing them down... Benry would’ve been fine on his own, with them. They would’ve been out by now... A slight jump from Gordon as Barney leans in around the metal crate, looking human again. Except, for the teeth... and the eyes.... those were a bit unnerving.
Very large and sharp jagged canines pokes gently from under his scruffy lips, and 4 new eyes, each set above and below his once gorgeous mixed brown green and some speckles of blue eyes, now fully pitch back with no pupils. Like a spider... Gordon thought nervously. With a slight grunt, Barney’s other eyes vanished and blinking several times, his brown green juman eyes returned. After that he looked faintly dizzy, and leaned against the crate which actually shifted an inch just by him leaning against it.
“Hhhhhgh..... Ugh sorry Gord’n.... ooof. Been in that human form for so damn long I forgot how taxing it is on my old body and joints... sorry we didn’t tell ya sooner, this wasn’t in the plans at all, needing to get Benry out immediately.... we, weren’t sure how you’d react. Figured seein’ how well you took to Benry... you’d be... accepting of us...” Barney stammers a bit, clear hesitation in his voice.
For a moment, Gordon felt taken aback. They truly felt guilty? About not telling him..? That is fully understandable of why THEY shouldn’t be sorry, that’s a huge thing to tell someone, or how they might be treated... was he freaked out? Undeniably so. Was he going to run screaming and cry in a tight little ball? No, not till he got home or something... Worst part was he can’t tell his therapist about this shit, and the fact he just lost all coverage FOR his therapist. Dammit.
With a shaky breath, Gordon locks eyes with Barney and smiles softly. From what he could tell, Barney seemed skeptical, but returned the smile.
“It’s okay, Barney. I understand why, you wouldn’t be comfortable sharing that. It’s just, a bit to take in, the.... fighting is definitely unexpected.... but with Benry and you guys now I should be okay... as long as we all get out alive that’s all that matters, right? For Benry?” Gordon says, that spark of determination glowing brightly in his vibrant green eyes.
That comment completely seemed to shake Barney, who stared, wide eyes and blinked many times. That look on his face was the shock of what looked like a 5 year old who just got their candy taken away from them. After several long stunned moments, a soft weary but genuine smile crept across Barney’s face. With one slow motion, his hand ran through his thick jet black hair, showing some of the greying bits hidden deep within those gorgeous black locks. There was a stiff silence before Barney locked eyes with Gordon with a soft smile and a bright gleam in his eyes. 
“I’mma beginnin’ ta see what Benry admires and adores about ya, Gord’n... You’re a very special and unique person, Mr. Freeman....” Barney says, that bright gleam not faiding. The comment caught Gordon off guard, whose face went bright red. The only thing that prevented Barney from letting out a booming hearty laugh was an extremely cute yawn from Benry, who began to knead Gordon’s sleeve with his small paws. The motion got a soft awe out of Barney, while Gordon just smiled and gently used his right hand to run his hand through Benry’s soft black fur. That motion got a lot of purring, and some tail wagging, and Benry proceeded to attempt to bury himself deeper into Gordon’s clothes and chest. 
With a soft sigh, Gordon gently readjusts his glasses before looking around. If he was honest, he doesn’t remember how the hell he got where he was... Mostly, he thought the sheer stress of the situaion of breaking out an alien from space from a massive underground government facility and being hunted by the guard, military, and possibly whatever the hell G-Man was was not exactly a peaceful expierence. The thought of that alone made Gordon;s head feel fuzzy, and he felt a firm and warm hand gently set on his shoulder. Barney was right besides him and gently squeezes his shoulder.
“Hey, easy Gord’n, Tommy says you’ve been running on sheer adreniline and you’ve been having some sorta blackouts... Just, take it easy alright? Tommy mention’d this might be due to stress, or G-Man... BUT I’mma just keep moving you two from spot to spot till we get out, alright? Won’t let anything happen to ya, promise...” Barney says, with that soft smile. It took a lot of energy to keep his eyes open, which he returned the smile before quickly dozing off, right along with Benry.
With a faint sigh, Barney casts a weary glance at Tommy, whose eyes and hands were glowing faintly, and a soft yellow glow enveloped both Benry and Gordon, before fading softly. With a sigh, Tommy glanced at Barney, who slowly looked away.
“Look, I know this isn’t ideal to do to them but, this is better than them seeing what has been going on and seeing us as monsters, not to mention the stress and trauma it would cause both Gordon AND Benry...” Tommy says slowly, his face weary and tired. There was a long stretch of silence, before Barney spoke up. 
“Is... This truly necessay, though...?” Barney asks, before glancing hesitantly over his shoulder at the building of Black Mesa, which they were in a small Black Mesa warehouse, which had been promptly removed of all guards and people. After a pause, Tommy nods.
There was a deep and loud sigh from Barney, who gently slips his hands under Gordon’s back and knees, carefully carrying him and Benry who clung tightly to his chest. With a soft grunt, Barney trots behind one of the large metal shipping crates, and waits. Necessary, he says. If that were true, he wasn’t sure. Either this was for all of their safety, Tommy’s revenge, or something along those lines, or all of that, Barney wasn’t sure he’d ever find out. 
Curiously, Barney peeks around the corner, keeping Gordon and Benry safely tucked behind the crate as Tommy asked. Tommy knew he was gonna peek, he wanted to see what this kid was capable of. For a brief moment, everything seemed to pause. Barney’s hair stood on edge as he felt a strange charge of energy, all seeming to focus on Tommy. Like before, that same yellow aura seemed to surround Tommy’s body, the brightest glow coming from his hands and eyes. With a loud yell, there was a bright flash that surrounded the facility of Black Mesa, before the entire place seemed to BURST in a massive explosion.
The shockwave of the blast actually damaged the building they were in,and Barney seemed to have lost hearing temporarily in both of his ears... Loud bangs and booms of dangerous and unknown machines and power sources in Black Mesa seemed to react with whatever Tommy had done, and Barney rushed forward to Tommy whose feet had once again returned to the ground. 
Without warning, Tommy quickly went limp, but thankfully to Barney’s lightening reflexes, caught him before he could topple onto the concrete floor and hurt himself. In mute horror, Barney just held him in his arms, his shallow breaths all that could be heard. Cleary, he exhausted him self to the breaking point. With a displeased grunt, Barney mumbles to himself and gently sets Tommy down on the floor, and brings Gordon and Benry close by, mosty waiting for Tommy to rest.
This, had been a very rough and long day, so many lives lost, how much blood was now on all their hands... The thought made Barney shiver, as he stares out at the now burning bones of what was once the great facilty of Black Mesa. As Tommy promised, they were the only four surviors. Everyone else, was gone. They had a chance now, to live freely, to be happy.
With a faint sigh, Barney scooped Tommy up in his arms, along with Gordon and Benry in the other, and slowly began trudging forward out of the shattered and demolished bits of Black Mesa, hoping that somehow they’d find a safe haven that they all could call home.
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brownheadedcowbird · 7 years
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tfw life-altering chronic illness that nobody takes seriously without a 10 minute education !
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