#ugh i hate how weird fandom makes the femme thing bc!! i loveeee steve with a funky gender

[qprstobin]

I thought I was the only person who felt uncomfortable with the overfeminization of Steve and how he’s always “mom” to them in fics, I’m glad I’m not! It’s worse when you remember that Joe Keery doesn’t really like that joke either. And while the occasional joke is fine, when it’s emphasized in a fic and the kids actually call Steve mom purposely, it just feels sorta weird?

You are far from the only one who dislikes it!! Unfortunately it's caught on so strongly in popular fanon :( It's worse because I actually like genderqueer and transfem Steve!! But not like the way some of the fandom overly feminizes him.

Steve's such a fun character, because he is very traditionally masculine in a lot of ways, and part of his character journey is (while not done explicitly because I don't think the Duffers did this on purpose) him kind of accepting the ways in which he isn't traditionally masculine (the hair products, the "babysitting", the fact that he's often the emotionally vulnerable one in relationships - wanting the emotional connection when the girls come to him for sex).

(It's because of this that I think he's a fun character to explore the possibility of him being transfem or genderqueer!)

But all of this doesn't stop him from being masculine. He's a jock, he has an interest in cars, he can be a little overprotective not even in a parental way but in the "I'm the man so I've got to take care of my partner" sort of way. The dude will bitch about being a babysitter and then get an action movie sequence of him ripping apart a monster with his teeth and bare hands. The dichotomy of these two things is what makes him fun!!!

Like you said, the mom jokes can be fun on occasion. (I've mentioned before that I think it's funny when it's contrasted with Robin as the dad, because it's exactly the type of fun gender bending bit that they would drive into the ground.) But when they are constantly being said, all the time, no trace of irony, and it's reflected on Steve's character too (like to the point where he's extremely out of character?)? It's just weird.

Part of it is that honestly Steve is much more of an older sibling in all honesty in canon - he's actually a pretty classic sci-fi/fantasy older sibling, who teases the younger sibling and then constantly does self sacrificing moves against whatever monster is trying to attack his siblings, all while cursing out his siblings for getting him into this mess.

The other part is, if you're going with parental Steve, what is so wrong with him being jokingly referred to as Dad? Like, I'm sorry if some people have never had a father who cooks, cleans, helps with laundry, takes the kid with them while they do the errands. This is an issue in our society of gender norms and societal expectations. But that doesn't mean you have to perpetuate these same gender roles in your gay fanfiction lol. I think it would honestly make him uncomfortable after a point to constantly be called a mom when he's pretty much said that he used to fantasize constantly about being a father. (Ooh, now that's a fun idea to explore.)

Anyway, fandom can like, do what they want but I'm... not a fan of that trend lol.