#ugh so many mutuals and buds are doing it this year and I’m over here crying over brushes

[gruvu]

When you cannot join art fight this year because you’re working on your style and technique on a new art program and so far making even a sketch has taken hours of your life. Unable to actually do a full piece at this point because god is against you.

[laurenairay]

Make Me a Fool - T. Barrie

Summary: Sofia is tired of going on dates with the wrong guys - when a meet-cute with Tyson turns into only friendship, will she ever have anything more than that?

Word Count: 7.2k

Warnings: meet-cute, fluff, pining, friends to lovers, some bad language

A/N: this is my first OC in a published fic! (I have another in a WIP). Thank you to @danglesnipecelly​​ and @itsbadgerbadgermushroom​ for their encouragement in trying this 😘 and also tagging @texanstarslove​ and @broadstbroskis​ for just genuinely being sweethearts 💚

~~~

The Dating World hadn’t exactly been an easy ride for Sofia. No matter where she met guys – whether it was through dating apps, blind date recommendations from mutual friends, or even that cute guy she met at the coffee shop – every single one had turned out to be no good. They were all wrong for so many reasons, whether that was a playboy with multiple girls on the go, a guy who was only actually after sex, someone that was so self-centered that she barely got a word in edgeways, or there was simply no spark.

And it wasn’t like she didn’t want these dates to work – Sofia loved love. Her parents had met in high school and had been together happily in love ever since. Sure, she knew that was rare, but to her they were absolute couple goals. All she wanted was to love someone and be loved in return, just like her parents loved each other. Was that really so much to ask for?

Sofia certainly didn’t think so.

Another Friday night alone rolled around, and the only thing Sofia wanted was to get a pint of ice-cream and watch some sappy movies. Maybe while giving herself a pedicure and wearing a facemask. Who didn’t love a pamper night? So with her wavy brown hair piled on top of her head, blue eyes scrubbed free of make-up, and wearing her glasses instead of her usual contact lenses, Sofia headed out for her ice-cream. There were a fair few people in the grocery store when she arrived including one guy by the ice-cream freezer. Huh, a very cute guy. Luckily she was still wearing a bra. No, not the time. She was here for ice-cream, and ice-cream only.

As she walked up to him though, Sofia noticed that he seemed to be desperately looking for something – a specific flavour? – but with no luck. Yep, there was the desperate whimper of frustration. Time to step in; this was her territory.

“You okay there bud?” Sofia asked, frowning.

The guy flinched slightly but turned to face her with a frustrated expression. Oh wow he was beautiful – square jaw, gorgeous brown eyes, big broad shoulders, thick arms…and those curls! Wait, no, focus.

“No, I’m not. I just moved here for work and everything is shit and I just wanted my favourite flavour ice-cream but they don’t have it and I just…ugh!”

The guy trailed off, running a shaky hand through his messy curls. Oh wow, she hadn’t been expecting that. Nevertheless…

“Sorry, you didn���t need to know all that. It’s just been a really bad week,” he grimaced, trying to force a smile.

Poor guy. Well, she could definitely relate to comfort eating after a bad week, that was for sure. So Sofia smiled kindly back, shaking her head. “Please don’t apologise! We all have shitty weeks,”

The guy laughed, but it still sounded a little broken. Time to step up her game.

“Maybe I can suggest an alternative? I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a regular at this particular freezer,” she said, wearing a hopeful smile.

This seemed to crack a genuine smile. “Sure, be my guest,” he nodded, “I’m Tyson, by the way,”

Well it was a start. “I’m Sofia. Nice to meet you!”

Tyson smiled shyly at her, seeming a little hesitant.

Sofia dramatically rolled her head from side to side, stretched her arms over her head and bounced a few times on the spot as if warming up, earning an outright giggle from Tyson, making her grin at him. Much better.

“Okay, cherry vanilla sweetheart is okay, banana toffee treat is a weirdly interesting combination, I’m a huge fan of the fudgy chocolate brownie, and the caramel swirl is to die for. But my absolute favourite is the peanut butter chocolate heaven. If you like Reese’s chocolate, then you’ll love this one,” she listed, pointing to the different shelves.

What? Sofia took her ice-cream seriously – there was nothing wrong with that.

Tyson looked a little stunned, but that quickly turned into a brilliant smile, making Sofia’s breath catch in her throat. “The peanut butter chocolate one sounds pretty good actually. Exactly what I need,”

“Happy to help,” Sofia shrugged, trying to play it cool as she passed him a carton of it, as well as grabbing one for herself.

“Hey, um….”

Sofia looked up at Tyson as he trailed off, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. What?

“This is a kinda weird to ask, and I swear I’m not a creep, but I’m new in town and I really don’t know the best places in town to get ice-cream from so-”

“Would you like my number?” Sofia asked, trying not to giggle at his rambling, “for ice-cream related emergencies?”

Tyson’s smile seemed to dim slightly, but he nodded so Sofia figured that was what he wanted to ask her. That was what he wanted, right?

“Yeah, exactly,” he murmured, “I could really use a friend,”

Sofia hoped her smile hadn’t dimmed as well when she passed her phone to him. Friend. Why did that feel weird?

When he passed her phone back with his saved number in it, Sofia sent him a quick message of ‘Hey, it’s Sofia :)’, earning a smile from him as his phone lit up.

“I’ll see you again soon, ice-cream friend?” he asked, voice full of hope.

She couldn’t help but to giggle, nodding her agreement. “Yeah I’d like that Tyson,” she said, smiling at him.

If he wanted friendship, then she could and would give it to him.

*

The friendship that blossomed between Tyson and Sofia was genuine and sweet. He’d texted her the next morning, just a picture of the empty carton and a thumbs up – and she laughed as she sent back the exact same thing. And from there they were texting pretty much every day, Sofia getting to know exactly how sweet and kind and caring Tyson was. They started hanging out in person too, coffee runs and lunches and late-night dinners, to the point where they had a standing movie night (with ice-cream!) every Friday when Tyson didn’t have a game – and hadn’t that been a surprise, finding out that he played in the NHL. He had admitted that ice-cream wasn’t even remotely in his diet plan at all, but Sofia obviously wasn’t going to tell anyone – and besides, Tyson deserved a cheat treat every now and again, especially with how hard he was working and playing.

Over less than two months, Tyson quickly became one of her best friends. He was just so easy to talk to, and he knew exactly how to make her smile when she was having a bad day – not to mention how amazing his hugs were. And she knew that she was a huge support for him in his new city. She always answered the phone while he was on roadtrips so he could hear a friendly voice, never judging for anything. Sofia knew that she gave him a break from the intensity of his hockey life. She just…liked him, okay? He was such a good person, and really quite her ideal guy – but he only wanted and needed a friend, so that’s what she was determined to be for him. He deserved that much at least.

A few more months passed into their friendship, and it was a week into the New Year where their Fridays lined up perfectly, so Sofia was on her way over to Tyson’s with a couple of bottles of decent white wine. He was supplying the ice-cream this time, but damn it she needed the wine too. Yesterday night she went on her third date with a cute guy she’d been really hopeful about, but, well…

“He said what?” Tyson gasped, his jaw dropping.

“That he wanted to fool around before we went any further, and if I didn’t want to then he couldn’t see a future for us,” Sofia groaned.

“Please tell me you kicked his ass to the curb,” Tyson scowled.

“You’re damn right I did,” Sofia grumbled, taking a big gulp of her wine.

Tyson took a big gulp of wine in solidarity, staring at her with his big brown eyes wide with disbelief. But then Sofia couldn’t help but sigh.

“Why do my dates always end up going so badly? Is there something wrong with me?” Sofia asked, pouting.

Was there? Had she been the problem all along? But Tyson immediately shook his head.

“No, absolutely not,” he said firmly

As much as the conviction in his words made her heart skip a beat, she sighed again.

“Tyson…”

“Nope, I won’t have you talk about yourself like that,” Tyson interrupted, frowning at her, “These guys you try to date are the problem, not you. Ethan…Easton…Evan…whatever his name was, you are worth so much more than that. You’re kind, funny, smart, caring and beautiful, and any guy would be lucky to have you in their life,”

Any guy, huh? Sofia felt tears spring to her blue eyes, so she quickly wiped them away, but not before Tyson saw.

“Hey, c’mere,” he murmured, beckoning her towards him.

Sofia shuffled down the sofa willingly, curling into Tyson’s side and slumping her head against his chest. She immediately relaxed as his arm wound around her waist.

“It’s okay to be a romantic, yeah? It’s not a bad thing that you want to genuinely fall in love. I know I do,” Tyson said softly.

Of course he wanted to fall in love as well. Of course.

“Thanks Tys. I don’t know what I would do without you in my life,” Sofia sighed, squeezing his hand where it rested on her hip.

Tyson just hummed his agreement, pressing a kiss to her wavy hair, making Sofia smile sadly. Of all the guys she couldn’t have, why did Tyson have to be one of them? She couldn’t see Tyson’s sad smile in return though.

“Ice-cream and 10 Things I Hate About You?” Tyson asked.

“Yes please, I need Heath Ledger in my life,” Sofia nodded, sniffing as she sat upright.

Tyson laughed, wiping her cheeks dry of the tears she didn’t know had fallen. “There, still beautiful,”

Why did he have to make things so difficult?

*

Love was a funny thing. It could be fleeting, passing like a ship in the night, or even all-consuming, like a wildfire with no hope until it burned out on its own. The more time that Sofia spent with Tyson, the harder she fell for him, and the harder it was for her to pretend that she was okay just being friends. No matter how many first dates she went on, how many guys she hoped to move on from him with, nothing worked. The very first moment they’d met when she’d gone out of her way to make him laugh as she recommended him ice-cream, she knew she was done for. But how could she tell him how she felt? He’d literally asked for her phone number to be his new friend in a new city, nothing more. And there was no way she was ruining the incredible friendship that they’d built between them, not a chance. There was no way she could feel anything but empty if he was no longer in her life, and she couldn’t risk losing him. She wouldn’t.

But she didn’t know what to do.

What Sofia didn’t know was that Tyson felt exactly the same. The moment he’d met her, he was gone. She was beautiful – that much was obvious as soon as he saw her – sparkling blue eyes, that amazing wavy brown hair he always wanted to run his fingers through, and the warmest most genuine smile he’d ever seen. But it was her heart that dazzled him on that first night – instead of walking away from his crazy mid-breakdown frantic self, she’d offered to help him and made him laugh. She’d gone above and beyond to make him feel better, and he’d never met anyone like her before. Like an idiot though, he’d completely messed up asking her out on a date, and instead she’d given him her number to be his friend in this new city. Only his friend.

Hell, he knew she wasn’t interested in him romantically – she went on enough dates to show him that he didn’t stand a chance. How could he? He knew he was nowhere near good enough for her as a life partner. Even though he’d told Nate (wonderful oblivious emotionally-useless Nate) how hopeless he felt in their weekly phonecalls, Nate kept telling him to take a chance on Sofia, that Sofia would feel the same as him, Tyson knew Nate was wrong. But there was no way he could give up having her in his life, no matter how much it hurt him to be second to those stupid guys she dated. So he did his best to be the absolute best friend she could possibly need, no matter how hard it was.

Tyson only wished she could see him as more.

*

“Oh god, why did I drink so much?” Sofia groaned.

Tyson giggled as she slumped against his front door as he closed it, just about able to kick her heels off her feet. “I told you not to do shots with the Swedes, but you didn’t listen,”

Sofia whined, not wanting to admit that he was right. Even though he was right. Tyson smiled fondly at her, shaking his head as he kicked off his own shoes.

“I just wanted your teammates to like me,” she grumbled.

“They already do, sweetheart. They love you as much as I do,”

Tyson froze at the words that spilled from his lips, his heart skipping a beat at the smile that spread across her lips.

“Sweetheart?” Sofia grinned.

Tyson let out a shaky breath. The deep blush that spread across his face made Sofia laugh, a little giddiness rushing through her body along with the alcohol.

“Let’s get you some water,” Tyson grumbled.

Sofia just laughed again, skipping along behind him to the kitchen. It had been a last minute invite to drinks with his team this Friday night (she’d initially hoped to save the Friday night for a second date with a guy from Hinge that she had been hopeful about, but their first date on Tuesday had been so dry and dull), but Sofia had still had a brilliant time. She knew that Tyson knew that she had been disappointed with her date this week, so it had been really sweet of him to invite her out to cheer her up. And he’d even called her sweetheart! A girl could dream, right? Tyson kept his back to her as he reached for a glass in the cupboard and pulled out a jug of filtered water from the fridge, but Sofia just hopped up on the island counter to watch him, happily swinging her legs.

She’d had a great evening with one of her favourite people and now she was still hanging out with him – what more could she want?

“Here, why don’t you drink this while I get you something comfy to wear?” Tyson murmured, breaking her out of her thoughts as he pressed the cold glass of water into her hand.

“Thanks Tys,” she said, smiling, “you’re the best,”

He smiled shyly at her, still blushing slightly, before he left the room to get her some clothes. Sofia sipped on the water as she waited to Tyson to return, still swinging her legs with a smile on her face. She knew she probably shouldn’t have had so many shots tonight, but it had just been such a fun atmosphere. Sofia definitely wasn’t the only one drinking that much (at least, she wasn’t the guy that had to be carried out to an uber) – and she knew that Tyson was watching out for her, so she knew she was able to relax and just have fun. He made her feel safe, that she could just be herself without worrying, and tonight at the bar she’d had an amazing time.

The hangover tomorrow would be worth it.

“Okay, some comfy shorts and a tshirt for you,” Tyson announced, walking back in the room, dressed in sweatpants and an old tshirt now instead of his nice shirt and jeans.

“Ooh gimme,” Sofia grinned, hopping off the counter.

Tyson smiled fondly at her, taking the glass from her hand in exchange for the clothing. Then she frowned at him, earning a frown back. “What’s wrong?”

“The zipper on this dress always sticks and all the vodka will not help – will you unzip me?” Sofia asked, eyes wide and pleading.

Something inside her was telling her that this was a stupid idea, such a stupid thing to ask, but the remaining alcohol coursing through her veins drowned that out. But when Tyson just stood there in silence, his mouth slightly open and his eyes glazed, she felt a niggle of doubt start to creep in. What was she doing, asking him to unzip her? Stupid.

“Forget it, I’ll just stay in this dress,” Sofia mumbled.

“No!”

Sofia flinched at his shout, making him wince.

“I’ll unzip you, it’s fine,” Tyson insisted, “turn around?”

Sofia nodded, biting her lip as soon as her back was facing him, swallowing heavily as she heard him take a shaky breath. She jumped slightly as his fingers brushed the top of her spine, unable to stop her heart beating faster as he slowly unzipped her dress. What had she been thinking, asking him to unzip her? Now she’d never forget the feeling of him standing so close, the touch of his fingers on the small of her back, no matter that she was still a little tipsy.

“There, all done,” Tyson said, voice a little shaky, “I’ll go put a movie on, yeah?”

Sofia just nodded, watching in silence as he walked away. Damn it. She took a deep breath, letting her dress drop to the floor with her eyes briefly closed, before shaking herself out of it and quickly unhooking her bra, dropping that to the floor too. Once she’d pulled on his clothes over her panties (even his laundry detergent smelled amazing), she dumped her discarded clothes onto the kitchen counter and headed into the living room to join him. He’d turned off all but one floor lamp, leaving the room with a low glow, nice and cosy. Tyson looked up at her with a smile, settling her nerves. Whatever, it had just been a weird moment, that was all.

“Pretty Woman?” he suggested.

“Sounds good to me,” she nodded.

He lifted his arm, making her grin and sit down, snuggling into his side, kicking her legs up next to his on the ottoman.

“Comfy?” he murmured, wrapping an arm around her waist.

“Yeah, press play,” she nodded, settling into his hold.

~

It can’t have been more than 30 minutes before Sofia felt a little heavier in his arms, so Tyson looked down – sure enough, Sofia was fast asleep in his arms. He swallowed heavily as he watched her peaceful face, mind flashing back to the kitchen moment earlier. Unzipping her dress had felt so intimate, especially when his fingers touched the small of her back, and now she was lying in his arms? How was his heart supposed to cope with this? This was everything he wanted…and it wasn’t real. It wasn’t going to last. But…surely it wasn’t a bad thing if he just let her continue sleeping? She looked so sweet, so cosy, and he didn’t want to disturb her. So instead, he just switched the movie off, tossing the remote onto the coffee table before snagging the blanket off the back of the sofa and gently throwing it over the two of them. Their legs were already kicked up on the ottoman after all; he could sleep like this. Luckily she’d already been wearing her glasses tonight rather than her contacts, so at least he didn’t have to worry about waking her up to take them out – he just gently pulled them off her face and tossed them to the other end of the sofa. No point in waking her up. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, relaxing back into the cushions, and closed his eyes.

He could pretend for one night, right?

~

Sofia blinked her eyes open slowly, groaning as she (blurrily) saw that it was 5am from the clock on the wall. They hadn’t even turned off the floor lamp…but the tv was off and there was a blanket over her. Over them. And Tyson had even taken off her glasses for her. Oh wow. She’d fallen asleep on Tyson, and he hadn’t moved her? She lifted her head from Tyson’s chest, looking at his sleeping face with a soft smile. He was so handsome, wasn’t he? Her heart ached a little at the gentle expression on his face, soft and kind even in sleep. Wow. And it was so nice being held in his arms, the two of them having shifted a little to curl around each other in their sleep, her arm over his waist with both of his around her. She could stay like this for a little longer, right? He was so warm, and it just felt so right…

She could pretend for one night, right?

*

The next few weeks following the sofa-sleepover weren’t quite as smooth and easy as Sofia had hoped. It’s not that it was particularly awkward, oh no, and there definitely wasn’t a bad vibe between her and Tyson…it was just different. Something felt different between them – she didn’t know if it was because she knew what it felt like to sleep wrapped up in his arms, or the fact that he had demonstrated (even more so than usual) just how kind and caring he truly was, but it was something. And she knew Tyson was the same, because every now and again he would get a strange expression on his face before he shook it off and carried on as usual with a smile.

She couldn’t put her finger on it, and it was frustrating as hell. It was almost like being in limbo, that weird stage that wasn’t quite friendship anymore, but definitely wasn’t anything more. And Sofia was getting so tired of it. She knew she was going to have to tell him sooner rather than later – things were too off for her not to. Because at this rate, she was just going to make herself devastatingly miserable, and she had more respect for herself than that. She wasn’t a fool, and she wasn’t going to start acting like one now.

It was going to have to be all or nothing. But damn if that wasn’t the scariest thing Sofia had ever felt. And she had put it off every time she’d seen him since that night, unable to speak the words that would change everything. It was just so hard, faced with the potential of losing him for good. She hadn’t even been on any dates at all over the past few weeks, unable to even think of anyone that wasn’t him, which was so outside of her usual self that even her colleagues had noticed.

Speaking of…

Tonight she was out at a bar with some of her friends from work. It wasn’t a big weekend booze-up, just a casual couple of drinks after work mid-week – Sofia was only planning on having a couple of glasses of wine as she was heading out to dinner with Tyson afterwards. All she knew was that he had a phone call scheduled for something to do with his work, so they’d decided to meet at the bar first before heading out for food. Sofia was all glammed up though, contact lenses in and blue eyes surrounded by a subtle smoky-eye, with a cute new little black lace dress hugging her curves. She’d gotten ready in the bathrooms at work with a couple of the other ladies she worked with (they were staying out for drinks after she left) so at least she wasn’t the only one. She felt beautiful, the confidence shining through in her smile, and she knew she’d turned heads as she walked into the bar with her colleagues.

Maybe tonight was the night. Hah. Maybe not.

“And another glass of Sauvignon Blanc for you, Sofia!”

Sofia smiled as her friend passed her the new wine glass, nodding her head in thanks. She needed to stay out of her thoughts, wary of being lost in them, especially as she was seeing Tyson tonight. Clear, focused and confident. That’s what she needed to be. Not pining and mopey. No, that wasn’t good at all.

“Oh, hey, isn’t that your boy?”

Your boy. Hah. If only.

She spun around to where her colleague was indicating, unable to stop the smile that spread over her lips as she saw Tyson. Waving to get his attention, Tyson did a dorky wave back before he walked over.

“Hey, sorry I’m a little late. You look amazing,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around her in a hug.

She blushed slightly as she hugged him back, squeezing his waist even with her wine in her hand, before letting go.

“Thank you, you’re too sweet! And it’s really not a problem. I did just get a new glass of wine though,” she said, lifting it in indication.

Tyson laughed, shrugging. “I’ll get myself a beer too then, and we can head out after?”

“Sounds good to me!” she grinned.

Tyson grinned back, walking over to the bar in question. Sofia turned back to her colleagues, several of whom were grinning widely at her, but she just rolled her eyes, shaking her head and earning a few pouts.

“Don’t you dare say anything,” she warned.

A couple of them held up their hands in surrender, making her laugh, but another frowned over at something over Sofia’s shoulder.

“Maybe you should say something,” her friend said, jutting her chin in the direction of the bar.

Sofia turned around again, to see what the hell her friend was talking about, before she froze, her breath catching in her throat. Tyson was at the bar…talking with a pretty blonde woman. That, that didn’t mean anything, right? It wasn’t like they were…oh, there it was, the woman brushed her hand up against Tyson’s arm, giggling at something Tyson said while he smiled down at her. Of course a beautiful woman was flirting with him, and why wouldn’t he flirt back? It wasn’t like he had anything or anyone tying him down. It wasn’t like she had any claim to him herself. It wasn’t like Sofia had ever told him how she felt.

And now she was paying for it. Was she really too late? After all this time? Feeling her smile slip, Sofia turned her back on Tyson, forcing her smile back on her face for her colleagues, who were all just staring at her in pity.

“Please don’t,” she begged, taking a deep breath, “clearly I lost my chance,”

“He’s already walking back over, that was just flirting!” one of the girls insisted.

But Sofia just shook her head, taking a big gulp of wine. She was going to need it. That woman was beautiful, blonde and buxom just like every hockey WAG stereotype. And she was definitely not – so maybe this wake-up call was what she needed. No matter how much it hurt.

“Hey, sorry I took so long, service was slow,” Tyson said, apologising as he slipped back in next to her.

Lie. But it was okay, it wasn’t like she wasn’t aware.

“No worries. Cheers!” Sofia said, raising her glass.

Tyson frowned slightly at the fakeness of her smile, but lifted his pint glass to clink with hers anyway. Sofia just took another big gulp of wine.

After that, as hard as she tried, she couldn’t break herself out of that edge of sadness. The evening was tinged with it now, like an ice grip over her heart. Seeing him flirting with that woman was the kick up the ass that she needed – there was a reason that she and Tyson were just friends.

But even though she tried to keep up a happy façade, she knew that Tyson saw through it, even when they’d left and were eating in the restaurant he wanted to try. He would pause every now and again, a little confused expression on his face, which only broke Sofia’s heart a little more. He knew her so well, but he still didn’t know this. And now she didn’t even know if it was worth saying anything – she looked nothing like the woman he’d been flirting with, so what was the point?

Soon enough, their dinner was over (not that Sofia could say what she’d eaten or what they’d talked about, only that neither of them drank anything alcoholic), and Tyson was driving them home.

Oh, he was driving them to his apartment. Not what she’d expected, but she would roll with it. Nothing they hadn’t done several dozen times before. She could hold herself together a little longer.

“So, the food there was really nice. I’ll have to recommend it to some of the guys,” Tyson said, smiling as he unlocked the door.

“Definitely!” she nodded, shutting the door behind them, “although I’m pretty sure none of them will be going for dessert like we did,”

Tyson made a shushing noise, pressing her finger dramatically to his lips, making her laugh as they walked into the kitchen, sitting down on the stools at his kitchen island. Her laugh trailed off slightly as her heart clenched again, realising how comfortable and how right this felt between them. Why couldn’t this be easy? Why couldn’t things just be easy for her for once?

“Hey, what’s going on?”

She looked over to Tyson as his soft question brought her out of her thoughts.

“What do you mean?” she asked, forcing a smile onto her lips.

“There,” he frowned, “That. That fake smile, you’ve been doing it all night,”

Ouch.

“Have not,” she muttered.

“Yes, you have! You were fine when I first met you but as soon as I came back with a drink, something had changed. What’s wrong?”

Why did he have to be so perceptive? He was a hockey player for fuck’s sake. Why did he have to notice this now?

“It’s nothing Tys. I’m fine,” she said firmly.

Tyson rolled his eyes, making her purse her lips together. “I can tell when you’re lying, Sof. You’re clearly not fine. What happened? Was it something I said?”

“No, it wasn’t something you said,” she said sharply.

“Then what’s wrong? Because it’s clearly something!” he asked, his voice raising louder in frustration.

Ugh, for fuck’s sake.

“Why can’t you just drop it?” she snapped.

“Why won’t you just tell me?” he shot back.

Sofia groaned, throwing her head back. “Maybe it’s personal and maybe I don’t want to tell you,”

“What did I do to make you not trust me? We tell each other everything and now there’s something you can’t say? Won’t say? What the hell Sof-”

“I like you!”

Oh god.

Oh no.

As Sofia tried to breathe, there was one thing she noticed more than anything. Tyson was frozen, his mouth open in shock – and he hadn’t said a word. Sofia laughed at his silence, a little wet with imminent tears, a lot broken, and shook her head. What was a little more heartbreak, right? It’s not like she could take it back now.

“No, you know what? I’m pretty sure I love you. But that doesn’t matter, right? Because you haven’t said a damn thing a-and I knew this was going to be the reaction you gave me, which is exactly why I haven’t said anything before. So now you know – I have feelings for you, and…and you clearly don’t have feelings for me. I think I’m just going to go,”

She still hesitated though, as she pulled her phone out to order an uber. 2 minutes away. But Tyson opened and closed his mouth, eyes frantic but voice silent. And that was all she needed to know. Uber booked. Goodbye Tyson. Sofia left his apartment with a heavy heart, slamming the door closed behind her, tears prickling at her eyes as she ran to the elevator, but she pressed her lips together in an attempt to control herself. She’d told him how she felt, and he hadn’t returned her feelings. She’d put herself out there, all for nothing. And that’s all there is to it.

She could wait until she was home to cry.

If nothing else, she was lucky enough that by the time she reached the bottom of his apartment building, her uber had arrived, so she hurried in quietly, resting her head against the window. The driver seemed to realise that she wasn’t in the mood to chat and just put on some soft music, making her heart clench even more as her mind replayed the last 10 minutes.

She’d finally told Tyson how she felt.

Tyson hadn’t said anything.

Nothing at all.

And he definitely hadn’t tried to stop her leaving.

What more of an answer did she need?

*

Sofia woke up with a heavy heart, feeling like every part of her body was aching. She felt empty, completely drained, just as she feared she would if...no, when she lost Tyson. There was no going back now. There was nothing else she could do. Her friendship with Tyson was over, and fuck that hurt so much. He was such a big part of her life…what was she supposed to do without him?

She barely managed to shuffle from her bed to her kitchen before she started crying, hands shaky as she made her morning coffee. This was her own fault, she knew that. But that didn’t make it hurt any less. So she just let the tears fall, the pain of her heart breaking flooding through her body. It couldn’t have been more than 20 minutes until she finished her coffee, but it felt like hours, her head throbbing and her eyes stinging, her cheeks tacky with tears. She couldn’t carry on like this. She couldn’t waste her day, her life, like this. What was the point in that?

Sofia hated feeling pathetic, feeling weak, especially over a guy (even if that guy was Tyson), so she took a deep breath, wiping her cheeks dry with her fingers. “No more. Suck it up,” she muttered to herself.

Her breath shook as she left her coffee mug in the sink for later, her hands still shaking a little too, but she stood a little taller, trying to convince herself that everything was going to be okay. Because it had to be okay. It had to. There wasn’t any other option.

But as she went to walk towards the bathroom to take a shower, the door buzzer rang. What the hell?

“Who is it?”

“It’s me,”

Holy shit. Oh god. Tyson?!

“What are you doing here?” she asked shakily, her voice cracking.

“Please will you just buzz me up?”

Oh god. Should she? She couldn’t just leave him outside, right? This couldn’t be happening. What the hell was he doing here, after last night?

“Please Sof? We need to talk,”

Well, fuck.

She bit her lip, before pressing the buzzer, allowing the building’s front door to open. She knew she had less than minute before he would climb all the stairs and knock on her front door, so she quickly ran to her bedroom, scrubbing her face with a make-up wipe and running a brush through her hair. That was better than nothing. She whipped off her ratty old pyjamas and quickly pulled on some clean panties, some sweatpants and a baggy sweater, at least making herself look casual rather than like a slob.

Then she heard three knocks on the door. Damn it.

Sofia quickly shoved her glasses on her face, taking one last glance at herself in the mirror before walking as calmly as she could to open the front door. Sure enough, Tyson was standing there, looking the most nervous she’d ever seen him. Well, at least she wasn’t the only one feeling affected.

“Can I come in?” he asked softly.

She just nodded, letting him walk past her before shutting the door behind him. Sofia bit her bottom lip, wringing her hands together, before she took a deep breath. This was her home. She was in control here.

“So, you didn’t answer my question,” she said simply, “what are you doing here?”

Tyson let out a whoosh of breath, running a hand through his messy curls. He looked…well, he looked exhausted, if nothing else. Like he’d barely slept. Much like her. Wow. What was he…

“I came here to apologise, Sofia,” he finally admitted.

“Apologise? For what?” she asked, forcing a smile.

“Stop. Please stop,” Tyson said, his eyes full of sadness as he stared her down, “you know you don’t have to pretend with me,”

Well, fuck.

“What do you want me to say, Tys? I’m trying to patch together a broken heart here,” she said, her smile now wobbly. Damn it. She wasn’t going to cry again. She wasn’t!

“But I don’t want you to patch up a broken heart!” he blurted.

Sofia’s breath caught in her throat, her mouth going dry. What was he saying?

Tyson swallowed heavily, looking down at the ground before looking back at her, his eyes shiny but steady.

“You make me a fool, Sofia,” Tyson murmured, “every time I think I’ve got my head on straight, you spin me around. I always feel like such an idiot around you, always messing up. Just like last night, when I just froze up like a fucking statue instead of telling you how I feel. The thought of you not being in my life, even just overnight, is too much to bear. I can’t be without you,”

What?

He…what?

Tyson saw her hesitation, but didn’t dare stop talking now that he’d started. And Sofia couldn’t find any words to say at all. So Tyson licked his bottom lip nervously, before taking a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

“I should never have let you walk out of my front door last night. I should never have let you go without telling you that I love you too,”

Sofia whimpered, hand flying up to cover her mouth as tears filled her eyes. He loves her too? He…loves her? Tyson bit his bottom lip, stepping forward to rest his hands on her shoulders, desperate for the contact.

“Please tell me you still love me? Even though I acted like a fool? Even though I hurt you?” he said softly.

She immediately nodded, tears finally trickling down her cheeks. “Of course I still love you. These feelings aren’t just going to disappear overnight,”

Tyson smiled, his eyes a little watery too, but he leant down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead, making Sofia whimper again before slumping into his arms. He slid his hands from her shoulders to wrap his arms fully around her, her hands rising up his back to clutch at his t-shirt.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry,” Tyson whispered.

“It’s okay,” Sofia said, her voice muffled into his chest.

“No, it isn’t. You weren’t okay last night and I pushed you and pushed you, and then acted like a complete asshole,” Tyson muttered.

“You weren’t an asshole! I…I was so sad last night, before we left the bar for dinner. It killed me to see you flirting with her, that beautiful blonde woman while you ordered your drink,”

There. There it was.

But Tyson just huffed a laugh.

“That was nothing. She meant nothing. And now you know how I feel every time you went out on a date with one of those stupid guys,” Tyson mused, “you go out on so many dates!”

Sofia blushed slightly, thunking her head down on Tyson’s collarbone, making him laugh.

“I haven’t been out on any dates at all since we fell asleep on the sofa,” she grumbled.

“Yeah,” Tyson said, his voice much more serious now, “I noticed that. And it gave me hope,”

“Hope?” she asked softly, looking up at him.

“Hope that maybe it wasn’t just me that had feelings,” he explained, smiling.

Sofia smiled shyly back at him, before biting her bottom lip. Tyson noticed her hesitation, and unwrapped his arms from her, leaving one hand linked with hers. Sofia blushed slightly at the contact, as silly and simple as it was, making Tyson smile again.

“C’mon,” he urged, tugging her towards him lightly.

She followed Tyson through her own apartment until they reached the sofa in the living room, the two of them sitting down next to each other. Her heart beat a little faster as he turned to face her properly, but she tucked up her legs to face him too, her knees brushing his thighs. This felt different. This felt so different.

“Hey,” he murmured.

“Hey,” she laughed.

Sofia looked down at where there hands were still joined, Tyson just running his thumb over her knuckles in response. Why were they being so weird about this? No, she needed to know what he wanted. It couldn’t be any worse than last night, that was certain. She could do this.

“So what do you want here, Tys?” she asked softly.

Tyson smiled. She was so much braver than him, twice now. “I want to call you mine, Sofia. And I want you to call me yours,”

Sofia’s breath caught in her throat, but her lips spread into a brilliant smile. Yes. That was…that was everything she wanted. And he was just offering it to her on a silver platter? Really? Well, she wasn’t turning this done, no way in hell.

“I think I could get used to calling you my boyfriend,” she said, not hiding an ounce of her happiness.

Boyfriend. Wow.

Tyson’s smile spread into a grin, the giddiness spreading through his face, making her laugh. “I can’t wait to tell Nate that you’re finally my girlfriend,”

Sofia snorted. Of course Nate would come first before his family. “Is there going to be an I-told-you-so in there?” she mused. She wouldn’t put it past Nate to do so.

“Oh yeah he’s never going to let me live this down,” Tyson nodded, “especially with how I treated you last night,”

Hey, no.

“Water under the bridge, Tys. We’re sorted now, right?” she said firmly.

“Yeah, of course we are,” Tyson grinned, giving her hand a squeeze.

He was finally hers. And she was finally his. Fuck that felt so good.

“There is one thing though,” Tyson said, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“Oh yeah?” she said, frowning.

What?

“Can I kiss you?” he asked shyly.

Her frown melted into a smile, earning a smile back. Instead of answering, Sofia leant her head up, Tyson meeting her in the middle to press their lips together in a gentle kiss. Oh wow. Oh wow oh wow oh wow. She pulled away with her lips tingling, Tyson looking just as dazed as her.

“Kiss me again?” Sofia asked breathlessly.

Tyson grinned.

[leggomylino]

I saw someone else do one of these about a week ago, and it’s been on my mind to do one as well. It’s a very sweet gesture and I want to let all my mutuals know that not only do I see them and care about them, but I also really appreciate y’all as well! So without further ado, here’s my shoutout to each and every one of you! ->

@lovesickmark​ -> I’m pretty sure you’re like, the first person I really connected with on here? If not THE first then definitely one of the first. I know you’ve been going through a lot and I respect that; I’m cheering for you from the sidelines tho, just remember that! It’s been wonderful having you around so I hope you’re doing well and that you keep moving forward. <3

@jisungx2​ -> JOSIIIIIIIE >A< My INFP sister. I’m sure things have been kind of annoying and rough for you too, what with the holidays here and having to work Black Friday and most the rest of the season (holy cow I salute you and I’m really glad you didn’t die. Ily man.) It makes me so happy when you leave cute asks in my box like “hope you have a great day!” or “[enter cute chain mail here]”. You’re just very cute 😞😞 and I really wish you all the best this holiday season! I hope you’re taking care of yourself and remembering to take breaks when you need it. Remember the storage room excuse. Ily bro man.

@iiasha​ -> We haven’t been talking for very long but like, omgosh I love talking to you oops. 😂😅 Idk sis, I guess because most of my mutuals are a bit younger than me it’s nice to have someone who’s the same age I can relate to? And also someone to guide me through the confusing but quite entertaining world of the Seventeen fandom 💍 (I’m on my laptop and I couldn’t find the giant diamond emoji don’t @ me). ALSO! YOUR WRITING!! IS SO GOOD!!! Ugh I STILL gotta get to that Jimin alt. ending 😫😓 But I’ve been very invested in working and my language studies as of late while procrastinating on my other works rip. ANYWAY! I APPRECIATE YOU!! LET’S TALK MORE!!! YEEHAW!!!!

@joully​ -> You and I are still going to take over the kpop industry with our band, right? Shoot, what was the name of it again?? 😂😂 I don’t remember RIP...anyway, we don’t talk hardly as much but, I still see a lot of your posts and think about you! You’re really talented and I’m totally jelly of your piano skills 🥺🥺 Like dang I wish I could play half as good sis. Also, I’d really like to visit Germany one day! My dad’s best friend lives there, they met while he was travelling Europe in the army. He said we may go there one day and if we do, or if I just have to make my own adventure, I’d love to meet at a coffee shop and say hello. <3 Please continue taking care of yourself and come talk to me sometime! If you don’t, I will!! Lol 💕

@minniewoos​ -> 😎😎 <- SEE I REMEMBERED ❤️ I really hope your anatomy final went well! I bet it did <3 And if you haven’t taken it yet, you’re going to do great, I know! ^^ We haven’t talked for long but, I enjoy talking to you a lot. It’s always nice and appreciated to have another stay to bond with and just chat about how dumb boys can be but wow they sure are cute while doing it. Sigh. Anywho, I’m looking forward to talking with you more, and if you ever get a chance, I’m excited about getting to maybe study Korean together!  천천히 해 💓

@kpoptrashx2​ -> Luisa!!! We don’t really speak as often either 🤔 But I really appreciate that you’re always there to help me with my writing and give me pointers when I need it. Thank you so much for that! It’s truly very helpful because as a writer I have no idea how something is going to sound to others who have no idea what’s going on inside my head. ^^” Not only that but it’s a joy getting to chat with you as well. 💓 I hope you’re doing well and that we’ll get to catch up soon!

@hanniesunshine​ -> Omgosh sis I cannot wait for your story to come out! You know the one I’m talking about so I won’t accidentally spoil anything lol. But anyway! I hope you’re well and that you’re doing alright. We haven’t talked for very long but I had so much fun talking about your story with you, and I’m looking forward to chatting about even more stuff! 🥰

@bopping-to-my-kpop​ -> Sis you betta talk to me more or imma come after you 😤😤 Don’t test me I’ll dang sure hold another court case if I have to! And it’ll be totally rigged because I’ll be in charge of everything! The judge? It’s me. The jury? Also me~ Any outside opinions? I have influence in all of them! 💞 ...Nevertheless, I really hope that you’re well, and please know that you can come to me for anything :c Even if it’s just to take your mind off of something negative and you need a laugh. I’ll see what ridiculous shenanigans I can cook up for you, okay? You’re never a burden, I love helping people (esp. people I care about!) so please stop by anytime!! #westanemmainthishouse 🥀

@xxsanshinexx​ -> I haven’t talked to you in forever but I really hope you’re doing well! I haven’t seen many posts from you recently :(( Idk if you’re just busy or if I’m blind, but if you ever get a chance I’d love to catch up! Whatever you got going on please keep doing your best and remember to take your time as well. <3

@spuds-potato​ -> 🌟🌟🌟 B)) What’s poppin little sis? I hope you’re doing well as well, and I’m still waiting for my story 😤😤 Remember if Celi dies she’s dragging her bf down with her okay?! Okay. Some Romeo and Juliet action going on 😂😂 Aaaaaaanywho, I’ll have to pop in soon on Insta and you can tell me about your day! Remember boys are dumb and drink plenty of water~ 💗💗

@chanscoffee​ -> I know you’re super busy but I totally miss talking to you 😭😭 and I hope you’re well. I rarely use Snap but I need to hop on there sometime and maybe we can chat! Or on Insta. Idk we’ll see. Whatever you have going on just know I’m still supporting you and I’m here if ever you need someone. 💖

@daydream-jwoo​ -> Okay I’m telling you now imma be texting you soon! Seriously sis how have you been?! We have so much to catch up on! 😩😩 The holidays have managed to be both crazy and slow at the same time some how? Like time has been completely nonexistent and a total paradox lately. 🗿🗿 It’s wild. Anyway imma keep this one short bc it’s been so long and I’ll text you soon!! 💝💝

@thevampywarlock​ -> Give me a minute.........okay. *deep breath* AAAAH I THINK YOU’RE REALLY CUTE!?!?! ...Aaaaaanyway uwu” The stories you write are so cute and just, small wholesome things that you manage to extend and expand upon? Does that make sense? I really admire that. It’s like subtle but I definitely see it and eventually I’m going to come around to going on a reblogging spree \o7o/ But until then I hope you’ll consider stopping by and talking with me more? You’re a wonderful author and I think you have a kind heart. ^^ <3

@jisungsjheekies​ -> Oh sis. We gotta chat more too! Your stories are also very cute and well written and idk why but, I feel very compelled to support both you and @backhugsforhyunjin​ and whole squad. It’s very strange and I don’t mean to alarm anyone 😂😅 I just...can’t really explain it other than I feel like y’all are good people and I’d love to get to know you better. Anyway I’ll cut this short to avoid making anything unnecessarily weird, but, I’d really love to talk with you more! And I def support and appreciate you!!

@backhugsforhyunjin​ -> Sis you too, we def gotta chat more 😤 If you ever need anyone to talk to, I understand we aren’t close at all but I’m available to listen or give advice if you need it? 😅 Also, you’re a wonderful author as well. I really wish the best for you and hope to hear from you more in the future. If anything, please remember to take your time and know that there are people cheering for you! You got this, whatever it may be!!

@gaiyofanfiction​ -> Asdfghjkl now that we’re buds ofc I had to make you a part of this too 🤪🥳 I think we could use a team name, what do you think about #TurkeyDragons?  Bc the NCT float?? 😂😂 I like it honestly...but if you hate it lmk lmao. I hope we get to talk more soon and I’m really looking forward to an update of Twisted Karnival! One of the greatest fanfics I’ve ever read on here 😞✊ Of course with the Holiday season here updating isn’t super important, y’all pls take care of yourselves first and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season! (p.s. if anyone else is reading I wish this for y’all as well!) ❤️🎄

~~~

. . . That was a lot. If I’ve forgotten anyone I sincerely apologize and I love and appreciate you as well! Please don’t be mad at me 😩😩 At the end of the day I really do love and appreciate all my followers and mutuals, y’all are all fantastic and I’m always rooting and cheering for you like the Mom in every Pokemon rpg ;-;-;-; Keep going and become the Pokemon Champion okay? And I mean really go kick Gary’s ass, because he’s an ass and needs his ass whooped after all the crap he puts you through in Red/Green. I can’t wait for a reboot to come up on Switch so I can kick his butt all over again 😤🤭🥴 Anyway x9,000, thanks for coming to my Appreciation Ted Talks and I sincerely hope you all have a wonderful day and rest of 2019, as well as a happy New Year and an amazing 2020! ...Dear son of a biscuit it’s gonna be 2020. Wow. Letting that sink in. Where’s the rewind button? Actually I’m not sure if I wanna go back maybe it’s best if we bury this year for the most part and start over 👀💧

OKAY THAT BEING SAID EVERYONE GO OUT AND TAKE DOWN GARY!!! ILY ALL WOO 화이팅!! LET’S GET THIS 2020 BREAD after a cup of eggnog and some holiday celebrations uwu Peace out and again I love y’all! 💝

[fatebreaking-a]

Tagged by : I am a thief. ( Stolen from @starthieve​ ) Tagging : steal it from me.

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

( I will not, I will pick all my muses, how dare- I’ll leave everything except this blog + my other Sona blog out, for length’s sake.) long post, so it’s under the cut.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES-ish / NO. ( people who like her like her, and people who don’t... really don’t. )

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO / MAYBE ?

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO / MAYBE ?

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — lol. I take inspiration from canon, let’s put it that way.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Your local patron saint of lost causes, a heroic entity who has overcome betrayal and judgement to become an existence that can save the world. Also she’s tall and strong and hot and nice, what more could you want? Huh? You want more than being hugged by a 6′4″ lady??? Sona can also be in various countries, and can participate very easily in fluff, angst, and all sorts of other types of threads.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  Lots of angst and drama, a bit of a loner with a distant vibe. Having no etwahl and not playing music kills the interest and ‘usual interactions’ for a lot of people, and being mute & not jumping to telepathy can make threads dry and slow. Being a ‘sexy boob lady’ ( u g h ) also has painted her in a certain light - I’ll never forget that someone said that ‘ofc everyone ships with Sona, she’s the village bicycle.’ I’ve made her exceptionally strong ( almost overpowered ), and that doesn’t jive with people sometimes - shoving in all these themes that I personally like and crafting an interesting story of a divine / demonic seer witch who doesn’t know what to do with herself, is finally ‘too strong’, and finds power distasteful... The themes can be a little depressing and cold, even when she acts nice. And seeing “Even though she feels nothing, she still acts nice” in character can feel... tiring. A mute is not an easy person to write with, and I don’t shy away from trying to give the impression that ‘waiting for Sona to communicate can be tiring’ - because I want my readers and mutuals to feel the kinds of things she goes through everyday. While I try to make the blog accessible, Sona has a speech disability, and that can be tiring.

Also that she doesn’t act like a fancy noble... I don’t know. I feel like the way that I write her is very, very different to the fandom’s impression of her, and that leaves people disillusioned. “This isn’t what I expected or signed up for.” She’s just not that person... And because she doesn’t speak, a lot of prompts are off limits. I’ve also recently reset because I wanted to emphasize that she is patient, grim, and secretive while still being kind. I’ve toned down her tendency for mischief a lot, she used to be an absolute gremlin.

A lot of these things also apply to my other Sona blog ( @virtuous-dignity​ ), where she is extremely structured and self-confident and a bit of a recluse, so while she’s much much nicer, she’s also a complete hardass. It’s rough stuff, especially since I make sure to point out, “hey this Sona practices music over 8 hours every day.” “Hey this Sona finds it morally wrong to play music for small audiences.” There are certain traits that just cut ideas in the bud.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  I played Sona a lot in bot lane. Multiple years of sexist remarks, shitty writing, and bad characterization made me frustrated. A lot of things were left unexplained and the etwahl felt like too much of a focus that I could not answer, “who is Sona besides a musician with a fancy instrument”. She has to be someone, right? But we never get to that in the story ( nor in the apparent upcoming lore rework either... ). She has to be someone, her being a famous musician is not everything. So I forcibly tossed aside the music part, especially to also prevent accidentally being pulled into ‘your music is so pretty’ plots. Plus: I wanted to write a character with an internal conflict who was going through some things but wanted to be nice anyway - I believe in that idea a lot. And I wanted to write a character that, tbh, could ship and flirt and just... be flirty and easy going more ( hah! didn’t work out so great now! ). My first canon characters were a ‘left by the void Malz’ dealing with his sins and Ori, who I talk about below, and neither were really great for getting that flirty vibe out. I also really wanted to emphasize that... Well, to be blunt, that if I wrote Sona as sexually promiscuous, that wasn’t a bad thing. That ‘being sexy’ and ‘sex positive’ did not equal ‘objectified tiddy witch’ and ‘perfect candidate for oppai mouse pad’ and other things I’ve heard directed at me in my league experience. Many, many things. Ugh. It kind of did end up turning into a thing where Sona herself draws an interesting line between ‘haha I can tell everyone’s looking at me with those eyes and it’s the fucking worst’ and ‘ok but I trust you and am in bed with you, so I want you to grab me’ - but that’s getting more into ns/fw topics so I’ll leave it there. 

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  All my characters tend to be expressions of myself, as well as answering important thematic questions, like “What does it mean to be rejected by your home and no longer have a place”, and some other stuff. I usually go back to that. Plus, exploring concepts around abandonment and loneliness is something I do a lot with her - feelings of neglect and disillusionment, and ideas surrounding “do I need to like someone or be liked by someone to treat them with dignity”. ( virtuous-dignity, on the other hand, was created because I wanted to write something as soft and uwu as possible, and then it turned into something about ‘balancing dignity for oneself with duty to others’ and handling those kinds of conflicts. )

I also really do enjoy, on some level, turning people around on these characters. “You made me care about character x” is such high praise.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. ( idk, how many of you think robots are hot- )

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. ( I think people downplay Ori’s intelligence a lot, but Riot also casually implied she did open heart surgery on herself so??? )

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO / MAYBE ?

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO / MAYBE ?

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — hahahahahahaha. hah. hah. Sorry. Everything I write is divergent by default.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  A genius inventor and cute spherical robot duo who speak to other robots and shoot lightning, run around acting cute, and try to save their city one step at a time - all while dealing with deep existential dread and fighting off a fate that decrees Ori’s death. Between ‘pancake bot’ and Ori being an accidental flirt, there’s plenty of variety and development here as my oldest canon muse. Not to mention that the blog ‘grows’ and ‘changes’, and in the last year, Ori has taken to dying her hair pink ( because Vi is cool is why, just don’t let her near a rifle or she’ll try to imitate Cait ). I also regularly think about / draw different hairstyles and clothing styles. Ori is very much ‘alive’, the most so out of the three muses on this blog. A human that has the memories of being a robot, trying to live on and live a good life. Also, there are bird, angel, and time themes. So many clocks. Mega clocks!

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  Deep angst and existential dread, because she knows her fate is to die and she’s cheated time. Themes of dysphoria and other troubling topics abound. Being stuck in time loops, thinking she’s an aberration, needing crutches because her legs stop working, etc.

Also, removing the fact that she is a robotic automaton is a bunch of the appeal of Ori. Or well, it’s what makes her character ‘interesting and unique’ to many. Without that, she is ‘yet another Zaunite’, as the thing that made her most interesting was her death and rebirth. ( Nevermind that her entire story is that she’s a selfless person but- I’m supposed  to act like she’s bad, right? )

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  Hey remember when institute of war was a thing? And then when it wasn’t? And Ori’s lore was “died to a turret shot trying to be a champion”... and then it was up in the air for two years?

That’s why. If no one else will love her, I will. She deserves better. And then the lore became close to my lore so I rewrote everything a second time trying to stick to the themes I had.

Ori’s thematic question is, “What do you do when you don’t recognize yourself anymore? How do you get back to ‘okay’ and what do you do from there?” It’s a pretty dim question that has a lot to do with body image, but also to do with abandonment and neglect, and  just dropping out of people’s lives. I think that’s something that people can really relate to. I originally wrote her on a multi with a ‘post void Malz’, who was dealing with the trauma of being puppeted around for years and all the things he had done, trying to get back to ‘okay’ without getting killed. More below:

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  Themes as noted above, Ori is super cute, and a lot of my art & general ideas. I’ve kind of turned these three characters in borderline OCs and keep developing them as they grow... Sometimes I think the stories and concepts I’ve written have outgrown the fandom. And thinking about her, and how she would live, and what her story is... mmm.

Also, the themes I write... I think they matter. Maybe it’s not obvious to anyone but myself, but writing a character who feels dysphoria and hates their body for ‘betraying them’... is relatable. It’s not nice. It’s not simple. But it’s relatable and it matters. Ori’s theme on this blog has a lot to do with “fighting a fate that says you’re going to lose and defying expectations” as well as “coming back from something wicked and rotten in your psyche/body”. And I do write some other skin verses for her but they’re all adapted to meet that theme. ( For example, in SG, she rises to guardian after finding out she’s fated to become a dark star and fights that fight alone, because ‘hell no she’s not going to go dark’. This was 5+ years ago back when there were theories SG and DS were same universe. )

Mostly it’s writing about these themes of expectation and reality. Overprotective parent, absentee parent, dealing with trauma... All my writing is like that. It can make my characters seem overly tragic, yes, but these ideas are not so far gone that they’re completely irrelevant and beyond belief. I’m sure many people have experienced emotional exhaustion and problems with body image. Even though I do write ‘polite but ready to fight’ characters only... Well, I believe in exploring and expressing these kinds of problems. Inner conflict and all. But also fluff! Fluff is really nice! Talk to her about pancake robot.

I also really do enjoy, on some level, turning people around on these characters. “You made me care about character x” is such high praise.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO. ( post rework??? oh my god )

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. ( hard to consider ‘martial’ characters strong when Xer/ath and Syn/dra exist )

Are they underrated?  YES / NO. ( she’s a little overrated, isn’t she?  )

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO / MAYBE ?

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO / MAYBE ?

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — I still draw from old lore with her big four blades of doom and ‘reviving’ with the help of Raka ( though I leave it vague / easy to gloss over ). I also had a lot of ideas about music and rhythm and tradition before the update ( drums were a big thing for her, so strong percussive beats and motions reign over the more silk and ribbon dances that flow more, drawing on things like Zelos existing, Lito’s lessons & harsh behavior, and her own internalized habits of trying to calm herself ), so I draw on those a ton. For me, the progression is ‘classic’ -> ‘infiltrator / nightblade ‘ -> ‘aviator’ all as one timeline. Also wrote her as being ‘missing in action’, which makes the awaken cinematic weird. I also really try to emphasize that she’s an emotionally stunted wardog with scars and not ultra pretty, so.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  A world traveler and a wardog, you can find her anywhere, any time, ready to kick some butt and enjoy the local food. Her simmering fury is a counterpoint to her relatively muted demeanor and adventurous spirit. However you may find her, there’s a definite charm to being flown up above the clouds to watch a sunset and talk. She will fly you where you need to be.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  I’m a little stuck on old lore and writing Lia as a character that has “left behind” her past and is pretending to be dead does make certain interactions tough. She’s also a deeply stunted character, emotionally, and I write her ten years of experience as having chilled her to a cold, ever burning ember rather than a passionate flame. Also, ‘aviator’ is kind of weird to handle for a lot of people.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  This one is really simple. When this blog started, the only splash where Irelia was smiling was the aviator splash. That’s it. That as the whole reason. “I want her to be happy and have found her happiness.”

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  I will admit that Lia is the character that I give the least attention to out of these three, and part of it is because I don’t really do flirting or shipping with her as much. She’s not one to reach out to others, and there are a lot of popular Lia blogs to the point that when I, as a multi, write with someone... She probably isn’t the first pick.

But I just... want her to be happy. That’s it. As I mentioned with the Ori section, what I’ve worked out for her has kind of outgrown the fandom itself, she’s become a different entity. Her themes largely involve recovery and finding oneself anew, and writing a character that is passionate about others while still being cool-headed is some of the variety I need. Because Lia is ace/homosexual, she sits out on a lot of the flirty content, but the chances I get to write her being romantic and caring... my god. Just a few posts back and forth with @unholyshe​ ‘s Akali and a So/na I used to write with....... Unforgettable. ( On that note go follow @unholyshe​ what a good writer, gosh dang. ) It’s these small interactions I find intensely compelling, and having a ‘quiet intensity’ and really thinking about her body language...

Also it’s nice to write a character with little secret agenda, who is just straightforward. “Will I enjoy kissing you? Only one way to find out. ‘It was okay.’ “ A ‘the only way forward is through, just do it’ attitude is refreshing.

------------------

Learning to write all three characters helps me write the others: The little things I think about that are specific to each person really help me out for the others. The depth of using body language from Sona bleeds into how Lia uses body language, and how Ori doesn’t ( even common ticks ), etc etc. Ori’s blunt, observational style of speaking ( telling you that you look good like it’s an observational fact ) helps me understand how to be straightforward with Lia.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES …? / NO. ( sometimes I do get very anxious abt it, esp. since I’m so divergent and do things like ‘so/na is one part succubus lol’ )

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO. ( do excerpts count? less headcanons and more musings, since I’m on like 5+ years with 2/3 of these. )

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. ( time is not a thing but I used to write a ton, my drabble energy goes to novels now )

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO. ( this is why you see mobile posts from me constantly, and so many excerpts / musings ).

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO. ( It’s what I want but it can also be disillusioning / disappointing to people so. Dunno. Anxiety. =/  )

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. ( It takes me a bit to warm up to a character again, but yes. I know my writing is not bad but I can be a little insecure about it. )

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. ( Very. I cry a lot and I get upset pretty easily. Sometimes I end up being really cold instead but idk. )

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  — To a point. Sometimes criticism is irrelevant or meaningless, or is just personal taste. “Sona shouldn’t be that strong” isn’t helpful ( but thinking about ways to pare down the complexity is good! ) Sometimes I get criticism that is the equivalent of tasting a chocolate cake and going, “It should have been vanilla, I like vanilla better.” That’s cool, but that has nothing to do with the taste of the chocolate cake I made. ( Ori as a human isn’t interesting, talk more about Sona & the etwahl even though it’s broken, Lia flying doesn’t make sense, etc - these are foundational flavors, so what can I do? ).

Also sometimes people make comments that make me feel they’re just being petty / catty and not sincere. I’ve seen quite a few hypocritical comments and it’s hard to take them seriously. So, yes, but ‘to a point’... Mostly I take suggestions, which I then talk about for the muse. Exploring those ideas. Unsolicited criticism is... hmm. In my experience, about half of it isn’t constructive. And from the wrong person, it can sound judgemental. 

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  — Of course? I love asks. Always. Great. Awesome. If I have a chance to draw to answer these asks, even better.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Not really. I’m divergent, they probably disagree because they have a different vision for the character. I’ll be honest here and say I’ve had enough people tell me that “my portrayals are not what they expected” that this can be... disheartening. I usually have a good reason for 80% of my hcs. If we’re talking in IMs though or just conversing, I’m totally fine with it. This comes back to unsolicited criticism - to be a little blunt, some people just straight up don’t know what they’re talking about. And given that I put a bunch of effort in trying to make sure most of my headcanons can be glossed over, so it doesn’t cause conflict and my ‘ultra grim take’ doesn’t cause the end times... I dunno. I’d rather that someone tell me “the kind of interactions they want”, so I can lean into that direction. If you just want fluff, I can leave most of my darker hcs for So/na at the door... But you need to tell me that, so I can work with you. 

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  — just leave? huh? I mean, I already know people disagree. If you’re not rude, then we’ll just move on and be chill. Otherwise... well, we won’t be chill and you can still go, but I’ll consider you a dick. I don’t expect everyone to agree with “Ori is a human”, but why bring that up to me?

This is why a lot of the time, when people talk about characters and my muses, my brain defaults to “Well that has nothing to do with me.” Why should I invest any time being upset that people are disappointed with my portrayal or I’m not what they expected. It’s exhausting. People have some really strong opinions about Lia and Sona sometimes, but... ‘that has nothing to do with me.’ There’s no point in trying to convince someone to try your flavor of ice cream when they’ve already decided what flavor and toppings they want. It just leads to tremendous insecurity. I should not have to argue that ‘my portrayal is worth paying attention to’. 

Ugh. I might be too sensitive about this. There was a point where people really got in the habit of saying, “this is how character x is” ( not their muse ), and it felt like someone trying to enter my kitchen. It did not feel like a suggestion or an idea. It was an assertive, “this is how Irelia is” by, say... a Ry/ze or Ken/nen blog or something. That felt extremely isolating and alienating to me, because it felt like I could not participate in that conversation at all. Or stuff after. I had to sideline myself, because... that has nothing to do with me or my interpretations. Ofc griping at them is wrong because I know they mean, ‘this is how I see it’, but ye. I’m short tempered and easily upset. Working on it.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  — um? bye? hello?

god I used to go “ ok that’s cool you don’t like my portrayal, here are some other great So/na blogs that I love” but I realized that I was directing someone who felt the need to tell me my portrayal or character is bad to those people... and no. no no no. I still feel a little guilty about it, because thinking I directed a toxic person to my duplicates...  yuck.

If you don’t like the characters, or you don’t like my divergent takes, that’s fine. I get it’s not for everyone. Just unfollow me. You’re not paying me. You’re not under any obligation. To an extent, i don’t mind being critical of the character, but there’s a difference between being critical and being hateful to someone’s muse? And it depends a lot on how close I am with a person. For example, I think Sy/las is a complete scumbag and I hate him, but I don’t go yelling that to every Sy/las blog I see. C’mon.

Another bit of salt but it’s... kind of a sad topic, really. There are some characters people love to hate, whereas other ones get the ‘protection squad’. And in general it’s really disheartening to see someone shittalk Lux every two weeks, but go ‘these other champs are off limits’. If you have that attitude, it makes me think you’ll shittalk my characters the moment they get popular ( COUGHIRELIACOUGH ) and that’s kind of sad. And mean. So general advice on this is: Probably just don’t tell someone you hate their muse, you know? Idk. Everyone has their own tolerance level too so. meh.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Somewhat.  Not much to say here, sometimes I am very tired, sometimes I comma splice like a madman, sometimes I overuse hyphen dashes to avoid deciding whether to use a comma, period, or semicolon - like this. I don’t need an editor. English is my first language. But if there’s something egregious or you have tips, let me know? I’m someone who looks up grammar rules regularly, and breaks teh rules just as regularly. Knowing when and how to break grammar rules is useful. Though I do tend to... overuse something once I’ve learned it. Hyphen dash, I’m looking at you.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   — Yes and no. I’m chill, I can be a little overly passionate, and I’m pretty quick to apologize... But I have certain moral standards and if you break those, you’re done. Also I can be a vengeful bastard. I try to give as much benefit of the doubt as I can and many chances, but I’ve noticed that I really... have a sour attitude towards a lot more people than I expect. Sometimes people who are very well liked, just because they said or did something that ticked me off. Luckily, I have the special skill of not being a jerk even if I don’t like you, and overall trying to be nice to most people, so it usually won’t matter. 

Ah and I can be a little selective in who I talk to / play favorites a bit. I’m a busy person with an adult life and a stressful job, I only have so much patience. I skip from “tolerating it” to “leaving”, and that can seem like I ghosted, but that’s not always the case. Just better to leave than to pick fights. I have some pretty strict standards and harsh opinions. Short temper. Vengeful. Alas.

Somehow people think I am very nice and baby, so take that for what you will. Pft. I just want people to be happy and feel comfortable and okay. Wrong is wrong, blah blah blah ok I stop now.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

( If you managed to read all this, with 3 full muses... Let me know, I want to hug you??? )

[marvel-redemption-omega]

The One

A/N: This is my entry for @softhairbarnes' writing challenge! I’m so excited to have participated and can’t wait to read the other entries. I hope you guys enjoy and feedback is appreciated! This is the first story I’ve written -and completed- in quite some time! I’m proud of it. I don't know how to do the Keep Reading tab, sorry. If anyone can help it'd be much appreciated. //Reposted to tag host of the writing challenge!//

Summary: Reader gets sent on an un-knowingly false mission. When they return, Tony sends them on a wild goose chase before they get to settle down and actually start to unwind with their Avenger family.

Pairings: Reader-x-Everyone; Reader-x-OMC

Prompt: “You're still the one I love, the only one I dream of//You're still the one I kiss good night//I'm so glad we made it, look how far we've come my baby” -- Prompt is at end of story

Word Count: 6634

Flight time estimates:

Bahrain to LAX 21hr flight: 1000 departure; 0700 arrival next day

Hour layover

LAX to NY 5.5hr flight: 0800 departure; 1300/1330ish arrival same day

Looks like we made it

Look how far we've come my baby

Six weeks. Six weeks spent in Bahrain just to find out that the drug and human trafficking ring were non existent and just rumors of the military in an attempt to draw out the buyers. It was infuriating enough to be sent on the recon mission alone, but to have no communication with your team back home, well it rubbed you the wrong way.

You give an annoyed growl at the thought as you pack your suitcase.

“I think I’m gonna kill Tony when I get back,” you murmur to the open air. You had been lucky enough to snag a room at the NGIS building on base, paid for courtesy of Tony Stark. “I can’t wait to get back to my baby,” you add as the thought crosses your mind. A smile adorns your face as you sling your duffel bag onto your shoulder and make your way to the check out desk; the mere thoughts of holding him clears any and all negativity. 

I forgot how much I absolutely LOATHE airports.

The check in line is backed out the door (thankfully you were already checked in) and there’s luggage everywhere. Security was packed as always, even for such an mid Saturday morning flight and the walk to the terminal had been pretty long too.

Why couldn’t I have a quinjet again? Ugh… You try to focus on the positive things and pop in your ear buds, setting your music to shuffle.

I’ll be home soon. I can beat up Tony soon. I can take a week off. I can sleep in my own bed. I can ask Sam for his bomb-ass waffles. Ahh, movie night with the team! I wonder who I can convince to make a blanket fort with me this time. Clint did last time, so I won’t bug him again, unless he offers then all bets are off.

Yep. The positive things, like a blanket fort. Who said you had to grow up just because you’re over the age of eighteen? Because you are an avenger or S.H.I.E.L.D. agent? Bitter adults unhappy with their life choices, that’s who. Best to not be like them.

You look at your ticket, tilt your head up just a bit, and count the people in line waiting to board the same plane. Nine people in front, many more behind, most with small toddlers or babies. A few not-quite-toddlers but not adolescents are here too.

Unaccompanied.

Crowded plane. Noisy kids. Body heat. Body odor.

You don’t know which is worse, honestly. They are all pretty bad. With a sigh you settle into the aisle seat, glad your seat-mates happen to be a quiet couple. In their late twenties most likely. You close your eyes, put your headphones back in to ignore the flight safety brief -something you knew by repetition-, and smile to yourself as you reminisce while your playlist shuffles some rock songs from the ‘80s before switching to some late ‘90s country. You subtly nod along to the beat, foot tapping softly, and you silently sing along to Kenny Chesney.

We mighta took the long way

We knew we'd get there someday

“Y/n! You and (S/o/n) look so cute! How could you not tell us you two were together?!” Your friends swarmed and congratulated you.

“We just wanted to try first, see if it went anywhere.” It was a shy admittance, more for them or yourself, you weren’t sure. You glanced over at your significant other. They had been dragged away by your family. It was a family barbecue after all. You should have known it would happen. They met your eyes as you shared uneasy and apologetic glances respectively.

Your friends would wait until your family approved before they’d all have a go at interrogation before they gave their approval. You rolled your eyes at the small group. They were extra sometimes, but they were your family. Blood or not you knew they’d have your back in an instant.

The relationship only lasted a short while but it had been nice. The two of you broke it off mutually and agreed to always be there for the other. You still loved them regardless.

Time passed and things changed. People came and went from your life, some good, others not so much. There was one who was there to stay forever though. You wouldn’t change anything for the world and you hoped he knew it. He meant the world to you. Some of your friends said he was a mistake and would ruin your life. You chose not to listen. How could he when he was the reason you could smile again?

Most of your friends had left, their lives pulling them in different directions. Some to college, others to military, some even settled down and got married. Family became distant with the exception of your parents and siblings.

You got a call asking you to come to a coffee shop, him included, for a job interview. Although you had been skeptical, your parents convinced you to go. How bad could it have been if they were inviting him too? How often does that happen, they had asked.

Fury had been intimidating at first glance. Then you noticed he had a cat with him. The cat, he called Goose, took high interest in you and him. You’d laughed before giving Fury your attention, though you watched Goose sniff at the male beside you then purr and curl up in his lap. His smile was contagious as he beamed at you.

After leaving the strange interview, you went home. Though the thoughts of what the “Avengers Initiative” was, really left an itch. An itch you just had to scratch.

Curious as you were, you had no intention on meeting with Fury again. He made you uneasy, although not in a bad way. You just knew something was off and knew he wouldn’t say unless you agreed. But you could try and find the answer on your own anyway.

Fury proved you wrong in seeing him when he slipped you an invitation a few weeks later for a party. It had been a brief meeting. A run in at the grocery store. The address was to a nice place in New York. Your love agreed to go with you on the promise of exploring the city after the party. After all, a trip to New York from Colorado was a trip to remember.

You drove instead of flew. It took a day and a half to reach the destination. Traffic hadn’t been bad until New York itself. But you had planned to be there a few days early to explore before the party. Your love had agreed to the change of schedule and made a list of things he wanted to see and do. Coney Island was at the top of the list.

It was always hard to leave when you went on missions. He missed you and you him, but you know why you did it. You worked as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent now. Fury had seen the spark in you that you had tried to bury long ago.

Consider the itch, scratched.

Thoroughly.

You were called by Fury as you were getting out of a bath. Your boss wanted to show you something. He wouldn’t say what, only that an Agent by the name of Coulson would be picking you up in the morning. When you told him, his smile and excitement couldn’t be contained at the thought of you working with elite agents.

That was three years ago.

They said "I bet they'll never make it"

But just look at us holding on

We're still together still going strong

Your eyes snap open as the shift in speed jostles you awake. With a frown and a yawn you look out the window to see the familiar layout of the LAX airport. Shooting a message to Tony to let him know you made it, you start to gather your trash and lone duffle from under the seat in front of you.

Kinda wish I would have bought one of those suits or something while I was there. At least have something to show for my half year work-cation. At least I will be able to say I’ve traveled outside the states, even if it was for work.

Tony’s reply is lightning fast, something about a surprise pick up waiting for you. You roll your eyes at the million thoughts running through your mind as you debark slowly. The exit seems like forever as you wait for the people in front of you to creep forward only to stop after eight steps. Everyone is shuffling awkwardly and trying not to hit someone else; stopping for others to slide out or get their bags from the over head storage.

Finally, oh my gosh. That took FOREVER.

You make a face at yourself.

Yikes. Guess Tony really has sugar-daddied us. Yeesh. I guess I owe him a thank you. Nah. He made me fly commercial.

You snort at your inner rambling and almost miss the female yelling at you.

“Y/n!”

Your head snaps to the familiar voice and you can’t help the grin even if you want to, arms open as she meets you halfway and you both squeeze tight. Unconsciously you place a kiss on the top of her head as she laughs against you.

“My brother and I have been waiting for you! Come on! We have such a long trip back, even with our jet. We can catch up over some real food first,” she explains quickly and pulls you out of the terminal and to the arrivals pick up.

“Shuri! Calm down. I’m not going anywhere, you can let go of my arm,” you laugh and rest a hand over hers and she relaxes her grip a little. She gives a smile and nods.

“Sorry. I’m just excited! There’s still more!” She squeals and points to the car that’s pulling up. You raise a brow but smirk as the too-dark tinted window of the limo rolls down to reveal T’Challa in the backseat.

“Hello, King Panther,” you tease and slide in beside Shuri. He rolls his eyes playfully but leans over his sister for a partial hug regardless.

You're still the one I run to

The one that I belong to

You're still the one I want for life

(You're still the one)

Breakfast at Waffle House comes and goes all too soon; with no calls or messages from Tony other than a brief text saying he’d see you in several hours, you get anxious. None of the others had messaged you and you wonder if they’re on missions or maybe are on their way back too. T’Challa and Shuri do a good job of distracting you on the plane to New York.

When the young princess goes to check on her brother, you take advantage of her absence and put her side of the bench seat to good use. You sprawl out with a yawn and smile up at T’Challa as he walks back. He takes in your posture and can’t help when his lips twitch up.

“You look comfortable,” he comments and lifts your legs to take the seat. He lays them over his lap and pats your shins in good spirit. “I’m sorry we did not think to bring a pillow or blankets with us.”

“It’s fine. It’s not like the jet has freezing a/c and I have a hoodie in my bag if I really need it. So far the sweatpants and T-shirt are keeping my temperature balanced. Besides, I could just cuddle the great Black Panther if I get cold,” you jest, eyes gleaming with mischief. He eyes you warily, wondering if you are actually going to pounce on him. You smirk and tilt your head before shaking it at him, answering his unasked question.

“Did my sister tell you there are more surprises for you?”

“After being picked up and private jetted to New York after some good home-feeling breakfast, I honestly don’t know what could be better,” you admit with a thoughtful look. His deep brown eyes meet your gaze and you grin. He lets out a chuckle as you squirm and pull your legs from his lap and pull your bag into your own lap and unzip it as he talks.

“Oh but I think Tony has more planned than he let us in on. You know how he likes to party,” he reminds and you pause in your rifling to glance at him with a grimace.

“That’s one thing I didn’t miss. All his damn parties and charity balls and galas and whatever else he calls them,” you mutter, toss aforementioned hoodie over your shoulder, and zip your dufflebag closed again. You retrieve the article of clothing and sit by T’Challa before leaning against his side. He glances at it but doesn’t say anything when you use it as a pillow.

The silence is comforting to say the least.

You're still the one I love

The only one I dream of

You're still the one I kiss good night

You don’t remember falling asleep but the hushed tones and loud shush-ing brings you out of your peaceful nap. You immediately glance up from where you had, probably, fallen along the seats. Your eyes meet familiar, warm brown ones and the twinkle in them doesn’t go unnoticed. Neither does the soft strokes against your scalp.

Is it improper to fall asleep in a King’s lap? Oops, oh well. Too late now. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission anyway.

“You could have woken me up, T’Challa,” you yawn, stretch, and sit up in your seat.

“You looked like you needed it. Besides, Shuri was just telling me about a new project she’s working on and would like your opinion on it,” he shrugs. His sister shoots him a glare but beams when she turns her gaze turns to you.

“So you need a new weapon right? I was thinking we could make something small like a gun, or whatever you prefer, and kind of do how I did with his suit. Put the technology in a bracelet or watch or something for you so you can be armed and no one is the wiser. I spitballed the idea with Tony and he agreed it would be cool. He’s actually working on an AI for you as we speak.” She rambles as you watch her rock back and forth on her feet in excitement.

You can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. She is like a little sister to you, just how Peter’s like a younger brother. They’re both so beyond their years that you can only pray and hope they stay safe and innocent forever, though you know it won’t happen, you still hope. She grins at the affirmation you give and punches the air.

It was only another ten minutes before you were bouncing on your own feet, standing behind T’Challa as he lands the jet at the compound. Your nerves kick in as the door opens and ramp lowers.

You’re home. After six long months. You are home.

Ain't nothin' better

We beat the odds together

I'm glad we didn't listen

Look at what we would be missin'

People always asked why you never date, when there were so many eligible candidates for you to chose from. Especially with your new job alongside the Avengers.

You would always answer the same. ‘I have someone who has already stolen my heart, why do I need another who might break it?’

He was the one who was always there for you. He had been for the longest time. He was the one you hope would always need and want you.

It was nice to be needed. It made you feel complete. Whenever you felt lonely and hopeless you would just remember he was there, waiting for you to come home to him.

He never let you down and always seemed to know when something was bothering you or if you needed hugs and cuddles. You missed him so much when you were away and you loved him so.

You just hope he never forgets it and never takes your for granted.

They said "I bet they'll never make it"

But just look at us holdin' on

We're still together still goin' strong

You don’t even have time to register who jumps you, but that doesn’t stop you from wrapping your arms around them and stumbling back to steady yourself. Bubbly laughter pulls your gaze to them and you smile brightly down at Wanda. She’s got her arms wound about your neck, hugging you tight.

“Hello to you too,” you chuckle and rub her back while she mutters something incoherent into your neck.

“Y/n! You won’t believe what I did while you were gone! There so much that’s happened! Tony’s got a plan to have a party tonight for your return-” she drops from her hold on you and shakes her head at your ringing phone, pouting.

“Tony? What’s up?” You give an apologetic look to Wanda as said billionaire strolls out the front doors of the compound and ends the call without answering you. You refrain from rolling your eyes and move into his welcoming arms. “How rude. Call me then not even answer and hang up.”

“I didn’t realize you were here already. Do you think you could go pick up Peter? I know Queens is a bit of a drive but,” he holds up a small access card, “your choice of ride if you say yes.”

“Bribery won’t work on Y/n, Tony. You know that,” Shuri chides.

“He doesn’t know I’m back, does he?” You inquire and snatch the card from Tony before he can decide giving you open freedom to his cars is a bad idea. With a shake of his head in response, you start walking to the garage with the others trailing behind.

“I might have told him I’d be by to pick him up for a Spider-Man thing this afternoon. Lunch is on me too. Wherever you want,” Tony bribes and offers you a small, plastic card with his name on it. It’s a deep, bright blue color and doesn’t look to have been used.

“You sure you want to give me that? I can make you regret it you know,” you tease and grab the card from him, slipping it into your pocket for safe keeping. The fear and slight panic that crosses his face causes you, Shuri, and Wanda to break out into laughter and T’Challa to grin.

You're still the one I run to

The one that I belong to

You're still the one I want for life

(You're still the one)

You glance at the facility before giving a small nod, a mental pep gesture or yourself, and turn to face the quad following. They all give you reassuring smiles and await your response patiently. Well, except Tony, who keeps fiddling with his watch.

“Right, well, Friday will be available in the car for directions if you need them. It’s something I’ve added to all my vehicles since you’ve been gone,” he clears his throat and changes the subject.

Smooth, Tony. What are you hiding?

You give him a curious brow raise but he waves you off and ushers you into the garage and over to his line of expensive cars.

“Keys are all here,” Tony opens a lock box on the wall to reveal rows upon rows of various keys, “they’re numbered like the vehicles. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to call Pepper and Happy and let them know that there is a slight change of plans since you’re picking up Parker.” And just like that, Tony leaves you with your friends.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that very few of y’all knew I was coming back today. Wanda, think you can do some snooping and see what our hot-shot billionaire is hiding from us?” You inquire and run your hand over the keys until they stop on the third row down, seventh from you.

“I can come with if you want company,” offers Shuri after a glance at her brother. They share a silent sibling argument and you chuckle at them, wishing you had a sibling to be best friends with.

“It’s alright. You guys go relax. I guess I’m going to surprise Pete at school and bring him back. See if y’all can convince the playboy billionaire to get Mexican or Shawarma for dinner?” You inquire as you snag the key from the hook labeled “23”.

“That can easily be arranged,” Wanda grins and motions for Shuri and T’Challa to follow her back into the lounge area of the facility. You nod and give a small wave as they disappear inside. A smirk splits your face and you make a beeline for the car.

You're still the one I love

The only one I dream of

You're still the one I kiss good night

“Friday, can you play “Backstreet’s Back” please? And crank it up loud?” You request, windows rolling down while you slow to a stop out front of the school.

“Of course, (title) (Y/n),” the disembodied voice -you so dearly missed- sounds almost pleased to be of service. You smile, pat the dash, climb out, and walk to the passenger side where you lean on the front, patiently waiting for the bell to ring. When it does, you scan the crowd of people, searching for the few familiar ones.

“Peter! You’re coming to practice tomorrow right? We could really use you on the decathlon team this year,” MJ calls from behind the young avenger.

He looks up from his phone, a text from Tony mentioning he needs to come over right away and Happy had an appointment so someone else was picking him up, and nods back at her, lips curling up in a bright smile.

“Yeah. Text me the info and I’ll be there!” He agrees. Ned smacks Peter’s arm and gasps, pointing to the parking lot where you are. MJ, having joined Ned and Peter, nudges the latter with a smile of her own.

“Maybe you can skip the first one,” she proposes. When he doesn’t answer, mostly due to shock, she takes his silence for her answer.

“BACKSTREET’S BACK, ALRIGHT!”

“Haha! Okay, Friday, you can turn it down now. I have their attention. Thank you,” you laugh at the faces of your unofficially adopted kids as the music lowers drastically.

Peter nearly drops his phone, recognition flickering in his eyes, as he breaks from his friends in a sprint, reaching you in seconds. Much like Wanda, he throws himself at you. This time you’re ready for the impact of a human and wrap him up tight.

“What?! How?! When did you get back?! You’ve been gone for months!” He shrieks; he pulls away and sends a quick glance to his friends who are standing nearby. They have matching grins on their faces, almost as if they knew you would be picking him up.

“I know. Tony flew me in. I think I spent at least a full day flying,” you explain. Letting him go, you move around the car to the driver’s side. “Come on. I think Wanda got Tony to buy dinner. He owes me anyway for making me fly economy after being on that fake mission for half a year.”

“Yeah that’s a valid point. I see Mr. Stark also let you borrow one of his cars,” he quips, eyes scanning the blue Audi R8 spyder. He says goodbye to his friends and ducks into the passenger seat, you in the drivers.

The ride back contains playful banter and generalities; simple conversations about school, missions, and flights are tossed back and forth. You lean back in the seat, content and more than happy to be back. Beside you, Peter glances at his phone at the silent message from MJ.

Enjoy the weekend, don’t worry about the decathlon meeting this weekend. We have plenty of sessions later in the semester you can come too.

No one is found when you get back. Everyone seems to have abandoned the facility. Peter frowns at the lack of people and the uneasy feeling he’s getting. He fidgets and tilts his head.

“My spidey-sense isn’t alerting me to anything. So I don’t think anyone is in trouble, that’s good,” he utters and his eyes sweep through the common area. They stop on a small mess on the coffee table to their right. He walks over to investigate and huffs at the realization.

It’s a note, addressed to you, stating that the girls (Pepper, Wanda, Nat, and Shuri) have gone to the mall to pick up pretzels for you; the guys (T’Challa and himself since everyone else happened to be on missions) went to get actual food. It was a surprise but it was one of your favorite places to eat. Tony had signed it and added two hearts interwoven after his signature.

Sappy dork.

“Mr. Stark just sent word that traffic is bad and that it might be awhile before they get back. Would you like to watch a movie while you wait?”

The disembodied voice of Friday makes you and Peter jump at the sudden break in silence. You glance at each other and nod, taking deep breaths to calm down. He recovers only just before you and picks up the note that he dropped when startled.

“Tell him bullshit; I was just driving through it. But thanks, Friday. I think I’ll go get a shower instead. Pete, you have a room here right?” When he nods you motion at him. “Go change and get comfortable then. I have a feeling that we’re going to have a long wait ahead of us. We can catch up and start a Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit marathon.”

The way his eyes immediately brighten at the mention of a dorky movie marathon pulls a laugh from you. He looks so much like a kid in a candy store that you can’t help but instigate his childish side. Mischief makes itself known in your own eyes as you turn toward your old room, vacant for half a year.

The joy from thoughts of watching some of your favorite movies with your half-sibling-half-adopted-son gets doused the moment you step out of the shower. You button your jeans and grab your shirt from the bed and slip it over your head, hair still slightly damp.

“Mx. (Y/n)?”

“What’s up, Friday?”

“Pepper regrets to ask, but wants to know if you can check in on a couple of new Avengers in safe houses? She says that you might know one of them? Doctor Stephen Strange?”

“Yeah, he’s an old, uhh, an old study buddy from college,” you shrug. A sigh passes your lips as you purse them, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I don’t even wanna know what kind of trouble he is in to be in a safe house. Who else?”

“A cat named Goose; according to Tony it’s Nick Fury’s cat and someone needs to make sure there’s still food and water out. The other is a former CIA agent; she helped Steve rescue Bucky, Sharon Carter. I can have everything sent to your phone if you’d like?”

“Yeah that’s fine.”

You nod to the intelligence before pausing, head tilted slightly to the left.

I wonder…

You glance up at your tv and then to the ceiling.

“Hey, Friday, I know you’re an Artificial Intelligence, but did Tony make it so you can see what we’re doing? Or I guess, respond to certain sounds or video waves? Does that make sense? Like, do you have a sense or some kind of knowledge of the actions or activities that any one person happens to be doing when you talk to them?” You ramble as you try to find the right words to make coherent sentences. There’s a bit of a pause on the AI’s end while you wait for an answer with baited breath.

“Yes and no. While I am not human and cannot deduce anything myself, Mr. Stark programmed a way for me to tell if someone is busy, for instance in the shower or bath; if two people are fondue-ing, as Mr. Stark says Steve calls it; or if someone is asleep.”

You scrunch your nose at the mention of fondue, not keen on knowing that you had been watched; even if it was by an artificial creation. You huff, grab your phone, and make your way to the living room where Peter is waiting.

“Sup, Kid? I guess I gotta go check in on some people in safe houses, want to come with?” You offer and watch as he shifts almost anxiously on the couch. You note he changed into some sweatpants and a hoodie.

“Umm, no. I’ll stay here and get everything set up for when you come back. It shouldn’t take too long, right?” He politely declines but sends a small, reassuring smile your way. You give him one in return and pick up the keys as you head out.

“Text me if you need anything or if something happens,” you call over your shoulder and pause at the door. Something didn’t seem to be adding up but you didn’t want to press Tony. You just assume that he is planning a big party like he had for your birthday. Peter’s voice is muffled by the distance but you hear the sarcastic, playful ‘yes, Mom’ of his response.

You're still the one I run to

The one that I belong to

You're still the one I want for life

(You're still the one)

You stopped by Sharon’s safehouse first. She’s in one just a few blocks away and answered only when Friday gave her word. You end up staying for an hour and some change when she ensnares you with talk of Steve; what could you say, you are a sucker for gossip. Especially if the stories are of old friends.

From there you go to Fury’s safehouse and are greeted with a happily purring cat. Your lips twitch up when you bend down and pet the adorable tom cat. He curls around your legs and you click your tongue. He follows, jumps onto the counter, and meows at you while you work on opening the new bag of food for him. You decide to spend an hour with the cat, if only to make sure he ate and give you time to clean out his litter box. Anywhere you move, Goose follows. You begin to question if he knows that you are there to help him. You don’t mind the company and you have a text saved as a draft, asking if you can keep Goose or at least cat-sit for Fury. You might have froze the last second before pressing the send button, deciding it was better to ask in person; though it didn’t stop you from thinking of cat-napping the poor, isolated baby.

Leaving Goose the cat at the safe house is harder than you expected. You have to promise him that you will be back with treats in a few days before he stops blocking your path and trying to trip you up. You smile, say goodbye to him, and leave with full intent on keeping your promise to him.

After dislodging yourself from the house full of happy memories, you have Friday send Tony a message saying you’re finishing up the check-in with the doctor. No more than a minute goes by before your phone goes off, signaling a call. You answer with a smirk.

“‘Bout damn time, you asshat. Sharon’s good albeit a little lonely. You should help a girl out,” you chastise. You can hear his smirk when he replies, something about you needing to help the doctor and get back to the compound since they were there with food. You can hear people in the background and sounds from the tv.

“Just hurry up and get here before your food gets cold,” he sasses and you chuckle at him before agreeing and hanging up. The drive to Stephen Strange’s house takes the longest. Granted it’s only ten miles more, but it’s the farthest from the new facility. Between your driving and the car you borrowed from Tony, you make it to the last location in record time.

Strange is standing on the porch when you exit the car. He’s grinning ear to ear as you approach and you halt any forward movement. His eyes glint with secrets and you slowly approach him warily. He grins and opens his arms for a hug before pulling you into the house. You scan your new surroundings with wide eyes and gasp audibly when you see his red cape sitting on a chair. The fabric raises a corner and waves as you pass. You nod and give a small wave back, completely at a loss for words at how much your old college friend has changed.

“So why exactly do I need to check up on you? You’re a whole grown-ass man,” you tease and lean on the door frame between the kitchen and living room. He smiles, holds out a cup of tea, and motions for you to sit. Glancing around, you take a seat on one of the recliners and pat the open seat next to you when Stephen shoos his cape out of it’s spot. It gratefully accepts the position beside you.

“It’s not that I need you to check up on me, but more that I need to keep you distracted,” he gives you a Cheshire Cat grin. Your eyes bulge out and you jump to your feet, tea abandoned on the side table.

“I swear to fuck-- you and Tony are in cahoots aren’t you!” you accuse with a growl. The cape floats behind you, sides folding and raising like hands resting on hips. Stephen barks out a laugh and you catch a faint orange glow before he disappears.

“Just get back to the new compound and you’ll see what awaits you,” Strange’s disembodied voice rings in your ears. The cape follows you, much like a stray dog you think as you search for the keys in a frenzy.

It had taken you nearly an hour to get the keys. Every time you would spot them, they’d ‘mysteriously’ disappear and reappear elsewhere in the house. You finally got fed up and yelled at the cape to help. It managed to snatch the keys before they moved again and it dropped them in your hands.

The lights were dim and Friday had stopped answering your questions; even Tony, Pepper, and Peter wouldn’t answer their phones. The cape drapes over your shoulders as you wander the seemingly empty halls of the compound.

Faint blue-glow illuminates the walls ahead and you follow it until the familiar sounds of Hercules fills your ears. You peak around the corner and freeze. Your eyes widen at the sight; blanket pallets scattered about the living room floor, furniture pushed aside; a blanket fort partial caved in on one side.

Natasha and Bruce are curled up on the couch, both asleep and snoring softly. Clint is curled up half in and half out of the collapsing fort. Steve, Bucky, and Sam are slumped against each other, looking as content as they’ve ever been together. Tony is stretched out on one side of one of the L-shaped couches, Pepper curled with him, their hands intertwined; Wanda and Vision are in a similar position on the other side of the same couch as Iron-Man and his wife. Stephen is leaning against the couch by Tony and Pepper, head rolled to the side as he slept. T’Challa is in a recliner, soft snores coming from him.

Movement draws your eyes to the bean bag pillow where Peter is unconscious and holding onto said moving thing. Shuri is leaning against his shoulder, breathing even as she slept. The blankets fall away from the youngest Avengers and a four year old pops up from Peter’s lap. Big brown eyes lock with your own eyes and a grin breaks out across his face. You quickly bring a finger up to your lips and drop to your knees, arms opening wide, inviting the child. The Cloak of Levitation slipped from your shoulders to give you a moment with the boy.

He stumbles over the mass of tangled limbs and blankets and into your arms, eyes brimming with tears. You quietly sooth him; hands rubbing his back, as his little arms tighten around your neck and his tears stain your shirt.

“Shh, my child. It’s alright, Zaza’s here,” you whisper and hold him close. He sniffles and pushes away, hands moving up the sides of your face, resting on your cheeks. You turn your head and press kisses to his little hands and arms. “Zaza is here, you’re fine, Baby.”

“Miss Zaza. No more work?” he questions, voice innocent and quiet. You smile and nod, tearing up a little yourself. You stand with him cradled to your chest, hand firm on his back. His hands move to the collar of your shirt, twisting and playing with the hem of it.

“Yeah, Baby. No more work for awhile.”

“Pwomise?”

You can’t hold back anymore. Hot tears roll down your cheeks as he asks you to stay home with him for cuddles and a Disney movie marathon.

“Promise, my Love. No more missions or work for awhile my sweet Dax,” you concede and kiss his cheek. He giggles at the sensation and you can barely make out the soft pleas of “stop” and “Zaza tickles” from him.

Natasa glances up, eyes heavy with sleep. It takes her a minute to register what’s going on, but when she sees you with your son, she smiles. Feeling as though you were being watched, you turn and meet her gaze. A silent conversation is had between the two of you and you tip your head forward in a thank you. The assassin’s eyes close once again and Dax curls against you.

You're still the one I love

The only one I dream of

You're still the one I kiss good night

I'm so glad we made it

Look how far we've come my baby

“You're still the one I love, the only one I dream of,” you softly sing and sway as you make your way up the stairs, Dax in your arms.

“You're still the one I kiss good night.” You place a kiss on your son’s head when you gently place him in the middle of your bed. He gives you a sleepy smile, eyes heavy as he tries to fight against the sleep threatening to take him.

“I'm so glad we made it, look how far we've come my baby,” you coo and climb into bed with him. He snuggles close to you, hands in little fists against his chest as he faces you.

“I love you, Zaza,” he whispers, eyes finally closed.

“I love you too, Baby. Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up,” you promise and settle down for the night. You stretch out on your back and your son moves so he’s tucked into your side, head resting on your chest. You gently rub his back and continue to hum the tune of Shania Twain’s “You’re still the one” until his breathing evens out. Once you’re one hundred percent sure that he’s asleep, you let it take you as well.

[hey-hey-chan]

Supernatural!Jisung

A cocky shapeshifter with a temper, that’s all I knew about Han Jisung. I had no classes with him until this year, unfortunately, luck was never on my side. 

He was a pretty nice guy, don’t get me wrong. But he was arrogant, always thinking he was better than everyone else, even his friends. From the way he walks to the way he acts, everyone can tell he’s got major skills. He’s one of the strongest shapeshifters, and one of the most powerful people on campus. No one likes to mess with shapeshifters because their anger is uncontrollable, and they’re unpredictable. 

Luckily, I was just a witch. 

Honestly, I was a bit scared of the boy. I never talked to him before and I only heard stories of how he lashed out at one boy for stealing his girlfriend and almost tore his friend apart for just playfully teasing him. 

I did not want to get on his bad side. 

But the boy was just so annoying, it was hard to take anything he did seriously! 

“Today class, I’ll be assigning a group project due next Friday.” The class groaned. Everyone knew everyone hated school projects, it was a mutual hate in high school. “Deal with it kids.” Silence. 

“Ok, so I assigned your partners already, you’ll be meeting up outside of school so please be certain to exchange numbers.” I groaned. I hated talking to everyone at this school, they were all weird. Either super cocky or super abnormal or super strong and scary. I was average I would say. 

“Jeno, Hyemi. Woojin, Chan.” The two smiled at each other, ugh lucky. 

“y/n, Jisung.” My heart stopped. JISUNG? I looked over at him, but he already was, smirking. I internally groaned. 

And at that moment, I knew this wasn’t going to turn out well.

After class, Jisung ran out of the room once it was the end of class. I groaned, I wanted to start working as soon as possible since I had plans next week

I ran after him. “Jisung!” I called out. “Wait!” When he didn’t slow, I grew upset. His friends looked back and pointed at me, but Jisung ignored me either way. Letting my temper get the best of me, I whispered a spell under my breath. It was a special spell only those of royal descent could use. 

Suddenly, the bodies around me stopped, freezing in their place. I heard a gasp. 

“What the hell?” I smirked as Jisung looked around, and then his eyes landed on me. “Hey witch change it back, you need to chill out.” I felt his power start to erupt, which made my heart jump. But my spell made it clear so no one could use magic in this realm. 

“Funny, magic and powers don’t work here, sorry bud.” He glared at me. I held out my hand. 

“Now, phone number.” At those words, he smirked. 

“Aw baby, if you wanted to get my number, all you had to do was just ask.” I glared at him. I kept my anger under control, as I was from the royal line of witches and warlocks. 

“For the project, Jisung. I just want to get this over with as soon as possible.” I extended my hand. “Number please.” I used the spell of compulsion, also a royal spell when not used by fae, to make him act. I smiled once I had it.

“And while you’re here, be at the hidden library, 3pm tomorrow. See you there.” 

Quickly, the world spun to life and continued on, feeling like nothing was wrong. Jisung turned around and glared at me, but he knew better to attack. He let it go while his friends were confused at his actions. 

And I realized, I had made enemies with one of the most powerful shapeshifters who I happened to be working on a project with.

The next day, I was sitting in the library, waiting for the arrival of Han Jisung. I checked my phone, it was 3:01. I grew uneasy; I hate when people are late. I huffed and waited 10 more minutes.

Nothing.

Another 10. Still nothing. I sighed. I decided to just do my homework from other classes in the library, wishfully thinking that Jisung would show later. 

As I was about to leave at 6pm, I heard a voice call my name. I looked up and didn’t find myself staring at the right person.

“Jeongin” I asked. I felt the pit in my stomach gurgle. I felt a bit nervous around this boy. First because he’s so beautiful. And second, since he is also of royal descent, we are bound to wed when we get older to model a perfect couple for the younger generations. I mean, he’s cute and all, but I barely know the guy besides him being a warlock and potentially powerful one.

“Hey y/n, you look pretty sad here by yourself.” I scoffed, leaning back in my chair. 

“Yup, I was supposed to meet someone, but I think they sorta stood me up?” He started to look uneasy. 

“Wait, you’re going on a date..? I thought we were supposed to wed when we grew up.” Wow, there was really no secrets with this guy. I was a year older than him and even though that’s not a lot, in high school, that feels like a whole generation gap. I coughed to cover my laugh.

“Um, not a date, just for a school project.” I decided to ignore the wed part. Honestly, I wasn’t too against it. I never thought I was going to fall in love with someone on my own, so an arranged marriage wouldn’t hurt me. Plus, I’m aware of the strengths it would bring to the royal powers. 

“Oh cool. That sucks, who was it?” I sighed.

“Two words: Han Jisung.” Jeongin burst out laughing.

“Oh Jisung hyung? He’s not that bad noona, it’ll be ok.” The boy glanced down at his watch and frowned. “Oops, I was supposed to help out my roommate with making dinner. I’ll see you around?” I nodded. 

I sat back in my chair and sighed. It was 6pm and Jisung was a no show. I felt tears well up in my eyes, even though this wasn’t a big deal. I felt embarrassed that my future husband knew I was getting stood up by Han Jisung and that he probably thinks everyone can walk over me. And ah! I just hate Jisung so much! 

“You’re in an arranged marriage?” I jolted out of my chair and let out a scream, resulting in everybody shushing me. I blushed but grew angry at the boy in front of me.

“Don’t scare me like that!” I exclaimed I said, slapping his arm. He look surprised at the attack but laughed. 

“I didn’t scare you, I just asked you a question.” I crossed my arms. 

“Actually, you did scare me. And another fact, you’re 3 hours late! How could you?

“I sat here for 3 hours and now you show?? I had to tell my freaking future husband that I was just stood up by you and I’m so embarrassed and upset and now I’ll still have to do the project which I will be doing BY MYSELF.” 

But Han Jisung had the AUDACITY to smirk at me which made my blood boil.

“Actually sweetheart, I was here. I was just in a different form, a fly. That’s how I knew you were in an arranged marriage. I just wanted to see you struggle and it was hilarious. I guess little Miss Royalty isn’t so good at witchcraft as everyone thought she was.” I growled at his words.

“Why the hell would you try to test me? If you thought I was so smart, wouldn’t you be happy that you got me as a partner?! And you did this because what, you wanted to prove to me how bad I am or that shapeshifters are better or something? What reason do you have besides that you’re a huge jerk, Han Jisung! You are the meanest person I ever met!” 

I felt myself getting emotional, something I often did when I was angry. Most people here lash out with anger, but I just start to cry, bad habit.

Jisung had the decency to at least look puzzled at my emotional state.

I grabbed my backpack and walked out the door, holding in my tears. 

I hate being an angry crier, it’s like the worst crier you could be. You just look like a child and no one takes you seriously. 

And even worse, I was more upset that a guy like Han Jisung could make me feel so many sad emotions.

The next morning, I woke up feeling like trash. My eyes were swollen and my hair was a mess since I didn’t wash the hairspray out of it. And on top of that, my nose was stuffed and I had a massive headache. Great, now I’m sick. 

“y/n, are you not going to school?” My roommates, Ahyoung asked. I looked up at her and she recoiled, which made me sad that a werewolf would be frightened of me.

“I’m sick.” I mumbled. She smiled fakely.

“Oh ok, well, I’ll go now. Hope you feel better.” She left me alone to wallow in my sadness. 

I thought of the anger I felt yesterday and felt it make my blood boil. 

“That stupid guy thinks he can just walk all over me and then push my buttons just because I’m of royal descent. UGH!” I buried my head under my pillow. 

Soon enough, the clock ticked by and struck 11 am, and I still hadn’t eaten anything yet. Right as I was about to get up, I heard a knock on the door. Weird, Ahyoung doesn’t get out til 2:30. 

I stood up, wrapping my blanket around me, and opened the door. And then slammed it shut. I heard the pounding.

“Y/N! Please let me in!” I raised a brow. I stayed silent. “C’mon baby, I know you’re in there.” My cheeks turned red at his insult. Baby? Because I cried?? 

I got angry, meaning, I cried again. I quietly sobbed into my arm, and a stuffy nose and crying isn’t the best. I heard him sigh.

“Ok that wasn’t the nicest thing to say. I know you’re listening, so I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I can’t control my temper sometimes and also I’m a big jerk like you said. Forgive me?” I crossed my arms at the half-assed apology. I wiped my nose and blew into it, a mistake.

“Shit, are you crying again? Seriously, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” I hate when people say that, it makes me cry harder. 

“Just go away Jisung!” I yelled. Usually, I would do a spell, but spells go wonky when you’re sick. And crying. 

“Are you naked?” I gasped at the question. 

“You jerk! You try apologizing to me and really you just want to be a perv! Ok, ok, you freak!” As I was rambling, I saw a fly land on the ground and then Jisung appear. “AH!” I screamed, smacking him. 

“Ouch! Ah lady, chill out! I asked if you were nude first, chivalry.” I glared at him, but then looked to what he had in his hands and I softened like the baby I was. I crossed my arms. 

“That doesn’t matter. You should’ve let me grant my permission.” He sighed. 

“Please y/n, I feel really bad for making you upset. I never had a girl gt so upset at what my teasing before and I just wanna make it up to you.” I look to the chocolates and roses he had in his hand. He jutted them out. “For you.” I felt my heart jump a bit, and I was upset by that reaction. I sighed. 

“I’ll keep the gifts.” I said snottily. I wiped my nose on my sleeve and he chuckled. I glared. “What?” I snapped. He backed up.

“I was just gonna say you’re kinda cute when you’re not trying to strangle me.” At first, I wanted to punch him, then I realized what he said. 

“You think I’m cute?” I blushed. He smiled, now he was blushing. 

“I said kinda, don’t flatter yourself.” My heart dropped. He noticed my reaction. “And also you have a husband, sorta.” I rolled my eyes.

“True, I mean, I’m only ok with it ‘cause there’s probably no guy who’s going to fight for me.” Suddenly, Jisung’s eyes brightened. I took a step back. “What?” I asked. He smiled widely, like he had a plan.

“Was that a challenge?” I raised a brow. 

“A what now?” He grabbed my hands, making my blanket fall and I happened to be only wearing a pink tank top, and was braless with shorts. I screamed and shoved him. 

“AHH! HAN JISUNG!” 

“Shit sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!” I picked up the blanket again. “But first, I just wanted to say that challenge accepted.” I scoffed.

“What challenge?” He smiled.

“You said there’s no guy going to fight for you.” I don’t like where this is going.

“So I’ll be the first.”

[johnboothus]

Next Round: Nomadica Wine Co-Founder Kristin Olszewski on Making Canned Wine Cool

Airing between regular episodes of the VinePair Podcast, “Next Round” explores the ideas and innovations that are helping drinks businesses adapt in a time of unprecedented change. As the coronavirus crisis continues and new challenges arise, VP Pro is in your corner, supporting the drinks community for all the rounds to come. If you have a story or perspective to share, email us at podcast@vinepair.com.

In this “Next Round” episode, host Adam Teeter discusses the new canned wine brand Nomadica with one of its co-founders Kristin Olszewski. The two highlight Nomadica’s packaging and how the brand uses works of art as the “doorway” to excite its customers, welcoming them into what are often complicated conversations about wine. Olszewski emphasizes that while canned wine offers a particular convenience — for throwing a can in your purse or enjoying a sparkler on the beach — she always takes pride in the “juice” Nomadica uses.

Nomadica has paired with several small wineries to create limited-edition releases and sources all of its wines from producers Olszewski swears by. As a trained sommelier with over a decade of experience in the field, she proudly markets Nomadica as sommelier-curated canned wine, and hopes the brand can change consumers’ minds about the bottle-versus-can debate.

Nomadica’s current lineup includes two sparkling wines, a still rosé, and a red. Listen or read below as Olszewski discusses her initial skepticism of canned wine, how she built the brand, and her hopes for Nomadica’s future.

Listen Online

Listen on Apple Podcasts

Listen on Spotify

Or Check Out the Conversation Below

Adam: From Brooklyn, New York I’m Adam Teeter. And this is a VinePair “Next Round” conversation. As you guys know, we’re bringing you these conversations between the regular podcast episodes in order to give everyone a better picture of what’s going on in the alcohol beverage industry. Today, I’m really lucky to be talking with Kristen Olszewski, the chief beverage officer and founder of Nomadica Wine. Kristen, what’s going on?

Kristen: Hi, Adam. I’m so excited to be here with you today.

A: Thank you so much for joining me. I hope I didn’t butcher your last name.

K: That was actually perfect pronunciation.

A: So you are based in L.A., right? And a former sommelier, who now has a canned wine business?

K: Yes, from Barolo to canned wine. I love it.

A: So can you tell me a little bit about Nomadica, and then we’ll get into your career and how you came to start it in the first place, but give me the “What is Nomadica wine” pitch.

K: OK, so Nomadica is sommelier-curated canned wine. Of course, I am the sommelier curating the wine. And then anyone who takes a look at our cans always remarks on how beautiful they are. We work with artists so that the art on the can works as the first tasting note for the wine inside.

A: Oh, interesting. So I got to tell you, literally I’m not kissing your a** here. I just saw your cans a few years ago and they were brought into my office and I was like, “Wow, this is the first canned wine brand that I thought was understanding what craft beer had gotten right,” if that makes sense. Craft beer’s branding has been so good, especially on the can and that’s what consumers love. And I saw a lot of canned wine brands coming out prior to meeting you that looked a lot like this could have been designed by Anheuser-Busch, right? It was very “Bud Light,” but it was a rosé. And so I was like, wow, how is this the brand? Because at the time, I didn’t know you, and we’re just meeting for the first time, to be fair to everyone listening. I’m just excited about it. I was like, how has it taken anyone else this long in wine to figure this shit out? Just because it’s in a can doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be beautifully designed and something that you want to pull out and people will ask you in the park, what are you drinking? That’s been what craft beer has gotten right for so many years now, whether it’s L.A. breweries that I am less familiar with than the New York City ones, the Other Halfs and the KCBCs. And if you listen to this podcast, you hear me talking about these breweries a lot whose labels just look dope. I was blown away that you were the first one I saw to do that. So this is a very roundabout way of me asking you about your wine brand and what your decision to create a wine brand was in the first place. Because prior to this, you were at a restaurant group, you were a working somm, so why a canned wine brand?

K: Well, it was a crazy journey. I got introduced to my co-founder through a mutual friend. He actually comes from the New York restaurant scene, and he was like, “Hey, I met this girl. She wants to start a wine company. You should speak with her.” As you know, I’ve spent my entire career working in Michelin and wine-focused restaurants and am literally obsessed with wine. So I go meet her after working on the floor at Mozza, I show up in my lady suit in my favorite natural wine bar in Los Angeles, shout out to Tabula Rasa. And Emma tells me that she’s been pouring nice wine into Pellegrino cans to take by the pool or on really long Uber rides in Los Angeles. And at first I was like, “Ugh, canned wine?” To be honest, I’d only had bad experiences with canned wine. It’s not something I thought of myself as ever drinking or ever having any interest in. But Emma is famously stubborn and stalked my Instagram, found a winemaker she knew I really liked on the Central Coast, Josh Klapper from La Fenetre at Timbre, who worked at Avant Cremant for a while. She canned a small batch of his Pinot Noir and brought it back to me to taste. And I let it sit in my cabinet for two months. I’ll be honest, I opened it up one night when I didn’t feel like opening up a bottle. And I had this realization that canned wine wasn’t bad. People were just putting bad wine in cans. And of course, I think the market has changed now. There are some amazing players in the canned wine space, and I could not be more excited about sharing this space with some really great winemakers, but Nomadica was born. And so we decided to use artists as our labels because I’m sure anyone who works the floor will understand this. You spend all night talking to people, and probably 10 to 15 percent of the people you speak with actually have language to describe what they like in wine, right? They understand what body means, what tannin is, or how to talk about acid levels, what volatile acidity is, et cetera. But most people you have to use unconventional formats to describe flavor profiles and tastes. I remember one time describing Poggio di Sotto Brunello di Montalcino to a guest as God walking down your throat in velvet slippers. And he’s like “Yeah, I want that. I want that wine.” So we thought it would be really fun to be really playful with that and play on the idea of synesthesia here, and I think we do a great job and we’ve actually just hired a creative director the last couple of months who is immensely talented. And I can’t wait to reveal our new lineup of can art coming out next year.

A: That’s super cool. So when Emma brought you this idea, you were like “OK, let me figure this out. I’ll think about it.” How long did it take you from thinking about it, to saying, “OK, screw it. I’m quitting my job. I’m doing this full-time?” What was the process? What did you go through to do this?

K: Well, I worked two jobs for a very long time. I’m sure anyone who started their own business knows the hustle is real. So I would spend all day working on Nomadica and then I’d spend all night at Osteria Mozza, slinging Barolo and Brunello and all the fun Italian wines. And we were able to raise a little bit of money last year, and I was able to go full-time, and I can’t even tell you how exciting it was — and still is — to work for myself. It’s crazy.

A: Awesome. Yeah. It’s totally great, right? It’s this thing that you just finally take the leap and you do it, and it’s nuts. So you have this canned wine brand. You finally got it on your own. What is your goal for this brand? Or obviously you said that it’s about putting good wine in cans, but what does that actually mean to you? And could you put Barolo in a can? Do you know what I’m saying? I’ve heard some people be like, “Oh, there’s only certain kinds of wine that you’d put in cans.” So what does it mean for you in terms of the wine you put into a can?

K: Well, we source wine specifically for the can, and I do think this is where my decade-plus in wine really does come in handy. We don’t just put any juice in the can. I will probably never put Barolo in a can. I do think it needs to age in a bottle, but certain varietals like our current red, a Sangiovese blend with a little bit of old vines and vanilla and Grenache. It’s poppy. It’s bright. It doesn’t have tannin, it’s high-acid. It’s crushable. So that’s kind of where we’re heading here. And then we have a core lineup of wines. Two sparklings (a white and a rosé), a still rosé, and a red. We’re adding a still white to that lineup next year. And then we’re also doing some really fun limited editions that we’re just going to drop online, small boutique things. We’re doing a collab with Stolpman Vineyards. We’re doing a carbonic Syrah with them. And then Mike from Rootdown and Cole Ranch, and SLK wines made an amazing Piquette with some 70-year-old Riesling from his single vineyard.

A: OK. I get it, though, I get it. So basically the whole idea is it’s wines that are drinkable now, right? We’re not aging anything in this. Are you the person that’s drinking from the can, or do you expect the consumer to pour into the glass?

K: So I always say wine tastes better from a glass, and no one will ever get me to change my mind on that. There are some circumstances where you’re on a hike, you’re at the beach, you’re sneaking a can into your purse to have with an In-N-Out burger. I don’t know for a fact, I’ve never done this myself, of course — I would never — but sometimes you just drink out of the can for convenience. Another thing I really like about the cans, and I think one of the special things about what we do at Nomadica is we have nothing to hide. I encourage everyone to drink it out of a glass. And because of that, we’ve noticed — we’ve done a lot of surveys with our customers, and they’re wine drinkers. They’re a little older, they’re in their 30s typically, and they’re choosing us because they don’t want to open an entire bottle.

A: Oh, interesting. So, here’s what I’m curious about. I was going to ask this question, you sort of answered it for me, but it’s who does dump it into a glass? Because we started, and in all fairness, we’ve never had your wine submitted for the tasting, we started two years ago a big open call for canned wines. Because there’s so many now, right? Canned wines were submitted to us and actually our tastings director basically the first year was like, we have to stop pouring the wines into a glass. And so we don’t, if anyone else who listens has submitted to us before, you’re now learning, it’s the only tasting where we do not pour the wines into the glass, because when we surveyed our staff and then readership, most said they drank it from the can. And so we were like, well, because a lot of times when you pour it into the glass, especially with some of these canned wines, you get that weird sulfur smell initially. And so we were like well, no one is actually going to get that because they’re drinking it from the can. They’re consuming it in the way they would consume a seltzer or the way they would consume White Claws, but yeah, the way they would consume a seltzer or a beer, that’s that format we’ve been conditioned. We drink from it. We don’t pour into a glass. So I, that’s why I was curious to ask you, just because I wonder, then, if you think about what kind of wine goes into the can, knowing that it’s not going to be examined or it won’t aerate?

K: Yes, absolutely. So when I’m selecting wines, I always have several cans, and I taste it out of the can and because I don’t want to control how anyone drinks it. I want it to be amazing in every single scenario.

A: It’s funny, there’s a restaurant near me in Brooklyn that sells Nomadica, but how have you expanded? What has that been like? So you obviously quit your job. You’ve raised a little bit of money. You’re now out in the world. What has your growth trajectory looked like? Or what are your plans for growth? How is that working?

K: So we’ve actually been really lucky in a pretty awful year — let’s be honest — to really hang on, and over half of our business is in on-premise, which people are always surprised by. I mean, I was surprised by that. I think when we first started Nomadica, I was like, “Oh, this is just gonna be retail. This is just going to be retail,” but we’ve seen a massive uptick from luxury hotels and grab-and-go programs. I’m sure that restaurant in Brooklyn is one of those.

A: It’s like a little falafel shop.

K: Oh, Holy Pita! I love that place.

A: That’s so funny that you know which one it is!

K: Of course I do. Of course I do. I have a very hands-on approach with our national sales office, and I think because the wine world and the beverage world is really small and I have to just really shout out our partners. At the beginning of this, we went to people and we’re like, “OK, this sucks for everyone.” I have worked in restaurants basically my entire life. And I’m worried about the future of restaurants. I think we all are. And so we went to a lot of our partners and just asked how we can help them, how we can be there for them. So we’ve done a bunch of Zoom tastings, virtual staff trainings. We’ve done a lot of charitable partnerships. And I think our relationship with our partners is better than ever. And thankfully, the industry is so small, we’ve also felt that love back towards us in a lot of ways.

A: Right. So is part of the plan for this to be a DTC brand? So obviously, on the site, right, you can order, you have the wine shop. Was that part of the business plan to begin with where you would be able to send people the wines they love on a subscription basis or is that since Covid?

K: Well, that’s definitely a re-pivot since Covid. We had always planned on launching some e-comm business as wholesale. We love our wholesale partners. We’re never going to take our foot off the gas of that, but e-commerce allows us to do these limited-edition collaborations and allows us the opportunity to talk to our customers, which I love. I miss the floor so much. I can’t even tell you. I just love talking to people about wine. It’s a sick obsession. I’m sure you understand. And so we actually just expanded, we’re going to be able to ship to 48 states in January, we’re launching a subscription service called “Club Nomadica.” You can either order monthly or subscribe quarterly, and we’re doing some really fun, exciting things next year.

A: So can you tell us any of those things?

K: So I’m so excited about this. We’re offering this up to all of our Club Nomadica customers, they get 24-7 access to me for all of their wine questions. It’s called “Text a Somm.” And so we’ve been beta testing it. And this came about because I get probably at least 10 texts a week from friends or family. Either it’s a photo of a wine list, “What’s the cheapest, best wine I can drink?” Or “I’m at the grocery store. What do I get?” And so we were like, wouldn’t this be great if we offered this up to our customers and our early adopters. And we’ve been beta testing it. People love it.

A: Yeah. I will say just full disclosure, no relation to the VinePair Text a Somm program. Totally different.

K: Totally different things.

A: But yeah, no, I think that’s super cool. I mean, obviously, yeah. I’m joking, but we did do “Text a Somm” this summer to give working somms a shift, basically. And we saw how many people texted in who have just random questions for wine professionals and they really want to know stuff. So obviously we’re never going to make this full-time. I think it’s super cool that you’re doing it like this. I think you’re also insane to be available 24-7. But I mean, it is still a young company, so I feel that’s when you have the energy be like “Yeah, s***. I’ll do it. 3:00 a.m. I don’t care.” So I dig that. So I have to ask you a question that is not about the wine. Then we’ll get back to the wine, but we’re going to be going all over the place here. I did check out your LinkedIn and it looks like you thought about going to medical school.

K: Yes. Oh my goodness.

A: So, where did that change for you? Obviously you went back, you had done undergrad, then you went back to that post-bacc to go to medical school. Where did you fall in love with wine in that journey and say, “You know what, screw being a surgeon, I’m gonna ultimately own a canned wine brand.”

K: So I majored in sustainable agriculture, moved to San Francisco, cooked for a little bit, worked at some really amazing restaurants, front of house, met Carlin Carr, who’s now the wine director for the Frasca group. She was so generous with pours. I cannot even tell you, and I kind of started to get the bug for wine there, but for a slew of reasons decided that “No, I should be a doctor. I should go prove to people that I’m really smart.” And so I went and did my pre-med post-bacc at Harvard. I’m originally from Massachusetts, so it was just moving back home for me, essentially. And throughout this time I was spending my summers working on Nantucket at Straight Wharf Restaurant, which actually has an incredible Bordeaux and Burgundy cellar. The restaurant has been around since the ’70s. Julia Child was actually the opening chef there. I know, so, so cool. And my last year, and here’s when I really started to get exposed to great wine. And there’s very generous guests. I had the opportunity to taste things that I could never in a million years afford to buy. And then in my last year of school, I’m taking my MCAT, applying for med school, I get in and that’s that, I’m going to med school. I’m going to be a doctor. And I meet this woman, Felicia Foster, who was running the small wine bar in Somerville, which is right outside of Boston, called Spoke Wine Bar. And she just mentored me, invited me to taste with her, you know when you first start out in wine and you’re tasting things and just don’t have the confidence to name flavors, to talk about the wine. She just encouraged me, and exposed me to Piedmont and Austria and Germany and all these wines that I just had no idea about, and she just really encouraged me to leave school because I was pretty miserable. I’ll be honest. And I love wine and I just took the leap and never looked back.

A: That’s great. That’s awesome. So back to the wine. So obviously the company is only a few years old. What are your goals for Nomadica? Would you like to ultimately grow it to a level where it is bought by a larger wine company? Would you like to own it forever? Would you like to ultimately use the label to expand into bottles or other things? I’m curious, what is your vision for the brand? As of right now as we’re closing out 2020 moving into 2021.

K: I really do want Nomadica to be everywhere. I think we’ve all had the experience in our life, whether it’s we go to a sports game or a movie theater and you drink beer because there’s not a wine that you would drink. And I really do think Nomadica solves that problem. And to be quite honest, we’re just so focused on building this thing and making it as great as it possibly can be that if we potentially get bought out, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We’re just trying to make our product as great as can be and do some really fun things while we’re at it.

A: So you bring up a really great question and probably something that some people who listen to the VinePair podcasts always have, which is how do you get into those kinds of places? How do you get into the sports arenas or the movie theaters or the Holy Pitas of the world? And what I mean by that is I think that your value proposition is really great. I love the cans. I think the juice inside the can is absolutely stellar. And I get the marketing positioning of sommelier-curated wines. But the places that I think where you find the initial customers is where you’re talking about, right? The places where I wish there was a good glass of wine, but I don’t have it. And for the most part at those places, the person doing the buying may not know the difference between Nomadica or be able to appreciate the differences between Nomadica and that canned wine brand from Oregon or that canned wine brand from — not to pick on them — that canned wine brand from Northern California or something else from even New York state, right? How do you explain to them that this is the canned wine brand they should have for all of the reasons that I understand they should have it, the quality, the better design, all that stuff. Is it just that they see the package and they get it? What is your strategy there?

K: The packaging definitely is the door opener, but our strategy is really just, I can’t even tell you how great I’ve gotten at rejection the last few years. I remember starting this journey and thinking I’m great at sales. I sell wine on the floor every night, I can sell so much wine, and I really didn’t realize how you just have to constantly take it on the chin and keep going. And that’s basically my strategy. So I never really take no for an answer because I do think that there’s always an opportunity to revisit. And that our sales have definitely shown that to be true. And maybe it’s not always a “no,” maybe it’s a “not now.” And you just relentlessly follow up. You leverage your network. I stalk buyers, I’ve realized how creepy I am. And we’ve also been really lucky. I recently brought on Terra Hannaford as my COO, and she was the VP of sales from Casamigos and just what a difference she’s made in the company. And she has taught me so much about how to leverage and manage our distribution network, which was not formerly a skill of mine coming from the fine-dining wine world, and how to talk to retailers, how to use everything from your friend that you knew in seventh grade who maybe has a cousin that owns a wine shop. You got to really connect with people. And so I think it’s been working pretty well.

A: That’s awesome. So I feel like at this point I have a really good picture of the business. Do you plan to raise more money? What are your goals? Because like I said, the cool programs you have coming are “Text a Somm” et cetera. What are your goals when you think about where you’d like to be at the end of 2021?

K: Yeah, well we’ll raise some more money. We’ve got some exciting innovations on the way that you will be one of the first people to know about, I promise. I’m so excited about that for 2021. And just a lot of really innovative programming, and you know things take money, unfortunately. And I want to be everywhere in the U.S.

A: Kristen, this was really awesome to talk to you and get to know the business, where you’re headed. Like I said, I really think that the product is awesome. When I came in contact with it two years ago, I thought it was great. And then to be fair, I see so much stuff that it passed my mind. And when I got emailed about it again a few weeks ago, I was like, “Oh man, yes, I absolutely want to have this conversation” because I think you really seem to get it in a way that I think a lot of other people who are trying to do the canned wine thing just are missing, right? I’m not telling you to make, as I said earlier, the next “Bud Light.” I’m telling you to make the thing that I also would love to have out on my table or to be seen with in the park. That’s what I want. And I feel you’re delivering that, and it’s just awesome.

K: Thank you, Adam. That’s so nice.

A: So anyways, all the best in 2021 and with Nomadica. I’ll definitely keep watching, and I’ll definitely drink it when I go to Holy Pita.

K: Shout Out to Holy Pita!

A: Shout out to Holy Pita. Talk to you soon.

K: Bye, Adam. Thanks.

Thanks so much for listening to the VinePair Podcast. If you enjoy listening to us every week, please leave us a review or rating on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever it is that you get your podcasts. It really helps everyone else discover the show. Now, for the credits. VinePair is produced and hosted by Zach Geballe and me, Adam Teeter. Our engineer is Nick Patri and Keith Beavers. I’d also like to give a special shout-out to my VinePair co-founder Josh Malin and the rest of the VinePair team for their support. Thanks so much for listening, and we’ll see you again right here next week.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity

The article Next Round: Nomadica Wine Co-Founder Kristin Olszewski on Making Canned Wine Cool appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/next-round-nomadica-wine-kristin-olszewski/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/next-round-nomadica-wine-co-founder-kristin-olszewski-on-making-canned-wine-cool

[wineanddinosaur]

Next Round: Nomadica Wine Co-Founder Kristin Olszewski on Making Canned Wine Cool

Airing between regular episodes of the VinePair Podcast, “Next Round” explores the ideas and innovations that are helping drinks businesses adapt in a time of unprecedented change. As the coronavirus crisis continues and new challenges arise, VP Pro is in your corner, supporting the drinks community for all the rounds to come. If you have a story or perspective to share, email us at podcast@vinepair.com.

In this “Next Round” episode, host Adam Teeter discusses the new canned wine brand Nomadica with one of its co-founders Kristin Olszewski. The two highlight Nomadica’s packaging and how the brand uses works of art as the “doorway” to excite its customers, welcoming them into what are often complicated conversations about wine. Olszewski emphasizes that while canned wine offers a particular convenience — for throwing a can in your purse or enjoying a sparkler on the beach — she always takes pride in the “juice” Nomadica uses.

Nomadica has paired with several small wineries to create limited-edition releases and sources all of its wines from producers Olszewski swears by. As a trained sommelier with over a decade of experience in the field, she proudly markets Nomadica as sommelier-curated canned wine, and hopes the brand can change consumers’ minds about the bottle-versus-can debate.

Nomadica’s current lineup includes two sparkling wines, a still rosé, and a red. Listen or read below as Olszewski discusses her initial skepticism of canned wine, how she built the brand, and her hopes for Nomadica’s future.

Listen Online

Listen on Apple Podcasts

Listen on Spotify

Or Check Out the Conversation Below

Adam: From Brooklyn, New York I’m Adam Teeter. And this is a VinePair “Next Round” conversation. As you guys know, we’re bringing you these conversations between the regular podcast episodes in order to give everyone a better picture of what’s going on in the alcohol beverage industry. Today, I’m really lucky to be talking with Kristen Olszewski, the chief beverage officer and founder of Nomadica Wine. Kristen, what’s going on?

Kristen: Hi, Adam. I’m so excited to be here with you today.

A: Thank you so much for joining me. I hope I didn’t butcher your last name.

K: That was actually perfect pronunciation.

A: So you are based in L.A., right? And a former sommelier, who now has a canned wine business?

K: Yes, from Barolo to canned wine. I love it.

A: So can you tell me a little bit about Nomadica, and then we’ll get into your career and how you came to start it in the first place, but give me the “What is Nomadica wine” pitch.

K: OK, so Nomadica is sommelier-curated canned wine. Of course, I am the sommelier curating the wine. And then anyone who takes a look at our cans always remarks on how beautiful they are. We work with artists so that the art on the can works as the first tasting note for the wine inside.

A: Oh, interesting. So I got to tell you, literally I’m not kissing your a** here. I just saw your cans a few years ago and they were brought into my office and I was like, “Wow, this is the first canned wine brand that I thought was understanding what craft beer had gotten right,” if that makes sense. Craft beer’s branding has been so good, especially on the can and that’s what consumers love. And I saw a lot of canned wine brands coming out prior to meeting you that looked a lot like this could have been designed by Anheuser-Busch, right? It was very “Bud Light,” but it was a rosé. And so I was like, wow, how is this the brand? Because at the time, I didn’t know you, and we’re just meeting for the first time, to be fair to everyone listening. I’m just excited about it. I was like, how has it taken anyone else this long in wine to figure this shit out? Just because it’s in a can doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be beautifully designed and something that you want to pull out and people will ask you in the park, what are you drinking? That’s been what craft beer has gotten right for so many years now, whether it’s L.A. breweries that I am less familiar with than the New York City ones, the Other Halfs and the KCBCs. And if you listen to this podcast, you hear me talking about these breweries a lot whose labels just look dope. I was blown away that you were the first one I saw to do that. So this is a very roundabout way of me asking you about your wine brand and what your decision to create a wine brand was in the first place. Because prior to this, you were at a restaurant group, you were a working somm, so why a canned wine brand?

K: Well, it was a crazy journey. I got introduced to my co-founder through a mutual friend. He actually comes from the New York restaurant scene, and he was like, “Hey, I met this girl. She wants to start a wine company. You should speak with her.” As you know, I’ve spent my entire career working in Michelin and wine-focused restaurants and am literally obsessed with wine. So I go meet her after working on the floor at Mozza, I show up in my lady suit in my favorite natural wine bar in Los Angeles, shout out to Tabula Rasa. And Emma tells me that she’s been pouring nice wine into Pellegrino cans to take by the pool or on really long Uber rides in Los Angeles. And at first I was like, “Ugh, canned wine?” To be honest, I’d only had bad experiences with canned wine. It’s not something I thought of myself as ever drinking or ever having any interest in. But Emma is famously stubborn and stalked my Instagram, found a winemaker she knew I really liked on the Central Coast, Josh Klapper from La Fenetre at Timbre, who worked at Avant Cremant for a while. She canned a small batch of his Pinot Noir and brought it back to me to taste. And I let it sit in my cabinet for two months. I’ll be honest, I opened it up one night when I didn’t feel like opening up a bottle. And I had this realization that canned wine wasn’t bad. People were just putting bad wine in cans. And of course, I think the market has changed now. There are some amazing players in the canned wine space, and I could not be more excited about sharing this space with some really great winemakers, but Nomadica was born. And so we decided to use artists as our labels because I’m sure anyone who works the floor will understand this. You spend all night talking to people, and probably 10 to 15 percent of the people you speak with actually have language to describe what they like in wine, right? They understand what body means, what tannin is, or how to talk about acid levels, what volatile acidity is, et cetera. But most people you have to use unconventional formats to describe flavor profiles and tastes. I remember one time describing Poggio di Sotto Brunello di Montalcino to a guest as God walking down your throat in velvet slippers. And he’s like “Yeah, I want that. I want that wine.” So we thought it would be really fun to be really playful with that and play on the idea of synesthesia here, and I think we do a great job and we’ve actually just hired a creative director the last couple of months who is immensely talented. And I can’t wait to reveal our new lineup of can art coming out next year.

A: That’s super cool. So when Emma brought you this idea, you were like “OK, let me figure this out. I’ll think about it.” How long did it take you from thinking about it, to saying, “OK, screw it. I’m quitting my job. I’m doing this full-time?” What was the process? What did you go through to do this?

K: Well, I worked two jobs for a very long time. I’m sure anyone who started their own business knows the hustle is real. So I would spend all day working on Nomadica and then I’d spend all night at Osteria Mozza, slinging Barolo and Brunello and all the fun Italian wines. And we were able to raise a little bit of money last year, and I was able to go full-time, and I can’t even tell you how exciting it was — and still is — to work for myself. It’s crazy.

A: Awesome. Yeah. It’s totally great, right? It’s this thing that you just finally take the leap and you do it, and it’s nuts. So you have this canned wine brand. You finally got it on your own. What is your goal for this brand? Or obviously you said that it’s about putting good wine in cans, but what does that actually mean to you? And could you put Barolo in a can? Do you know what I’m saying? I’ve heard some people be like, “Oh, there’s only certain kinds of wine that you’d put in cans.” So what does it mean for you in terms of the wine you put into a can?

K: Well, we source wine specifically for the can, and I do think this is where my decade-plus in wine really does come in handy. We don’t just put any juice in the can. I will probably never put Barolo in a can. I do think it needs to age in a bottle, but certain varietals like our current red, a Sangiovese blend with a little bit of old vines and vanilla and Grenache. It’s poppy. It’s bright. It doesn’t have tannin, it’s high-acid. It’s crushable. So that’s kind of where we’re heading here. And then we have a core lineup of wines. Two sparklings (a white and a rosé), a still rosé, and a red. We’re adding a still white to that lineup next year. And then we’re also doing some really fun limited editions that we’re just going to drop online, small boutique things. We’re doing a collab with Stolpman Vineyards. We’re doing a carbonic Syrah with them. And then Mike from Rootdown and Cole Ranch, and SLK wines made an amazing Piquette with some 70-year-old Riesling from his single vineyard.

A: OK. I get it, though, I get it. So basically the whole idea is it’s wines that are drinkable now, right? We’re not aging anything in this. Are you the person that’s drinking from the can, or do you expect the consumer to pour into the glass?

K: So I always say wine tastes better from a glass, and no one will ever get me to change my mind on that. There are some circumstances where you’re on a hike, you’re at the beach, you’re sneaking a can into your purse to have with an In-N-Out burger. I don’t know for a fact, I’ve never done this myself, of course — I would never — but sometimes you just drink out of the can for convenience. Another thing I really like about the cans, and I think one of the special things about what we do at Nomadica is we have nothing to hide. I encourage everyone to drink it out of a glass. And because of that, we’ve noticed — we’ve done a lot of surveys with our customers, and they’re wine drinkers. They’re a little older, they’re in their 30s typically, and they’re choosing us because they don’t want to open an entire bottle.

A: Oh, interesting. So, here’s what I’m curious about. I was going to ask this question, you sort of answered it for me, but it’s who does dump it into a glass? Because we started, and in all fairness, we’ve never had your wine submitted for the tasting, we started two years ago a big open call for canned wines. Because there’s so many now, right? Canned wines were submitted to us and actually our tastings director basically the first year was like, we have to stop pouring the wines into a glass. And so we don’t, if anyone else who listens has submitted to us before, you’re now learning, it’s the only tasting where we do not pour the wines into the glass, because when we surveyed our staff and then readership, most said they drank it from the can. And so we were like, well, because a lot of times when you pour it into the glass, especially with some of these canned wines, you get that weird sulfur smell initially. And so we were like well, no one is actually going to get that because they’re drinking it from the can. They’re consuming it in the way they would consume a seltzer or the way they would consume White Claws, but yeah, the way they would consume a seltzer or a beer, that’s that format we’ve been conditioned. We drink from it. We don’t pour into a glass. So I, that’s why I was curious to ask you, just because I wonder, then, if you think about what kind of wine goes into the can, knowing that it’s not going to be examined or it won’t aerate?

K: Yes, absolutely. So when I’m selecting wines, I always have several cans, and I taste it out of the can and because I don’t want to control how anyone drinks it. I want it to be amazing in every single scenario.

A: It’s funny, there’s a restaurant near me in Brooklyn that sells Nomadica, but how have you expanded? What has that been like? So you obviously quit your job. You’ve raised a little bit of money. You’re now out in the world. What has your growth trajectory looked like? Or what are your plans for growth? How is that working?

K: So we’ve actually been really lucky in a pretty awful year — let’s be honest — to really hang on, and over half of our business is in on-premise, which people are always surprised by. I mean, I was surprised by that. I think when we first started Nomadica, I was like, “Oh, this is just gonna be retail. This is just going to be retail,” but we’ve seen a massive uptick from luxury hotels and grab-and-go programs. I’m sure that restaurant in Brooklyn is one of those.

A: It’s like a little falafel shop.

K: Oh, Holy Pita! I love that place.

A: That’s so funny that you know which one it is!

K: Of course I do. Of course I do. I have a very hands-on approach with our national sales office, and I think because the wine world and the beverage world is really small and I have to just really shout out our partners. At the beginning of this, we went to people and we’re like, “OK, this sucks for everyone.” I have worked in restaurants basically my entire life. And I’m worried about the future of restaurants. I think we all are. And so we went to a lot of our partners and just asked how we can help them, how we can be there for them. So we’ve done a bunch of Zoom tastings, virtual staff trainings. We’ve done a lot of charitable partnerships. And I think our relationship with our partners is better than ever. And thankfully, the industry is so small, we’ve also felt that love back towards us in a lot of ways.

A: Right. So is part of the plan for this to be a DTC brand? So obviously, on the site, right, you can order, you have the wine shop. Was that part of the business plan to begin with where you would be able to send people the wines they love on a subscription basis or is that since Covid?

K: Well, that’s definitely a re-pivot since Covid. We had always planned on launching some e-comm business as wholesale. We love our wholesale partners. We’re never going to take our foot off the gas of that, but e-commerce allows us to do these limited-edition collaborations and allows us the opportunity to talk to our customers, which I love. I miss the floor so much. I can’t even tell you. I just love talking to people about wine. It’s a sick obsession. I’m sure you understand. And so we actually just expanded, we’re going to be able to ship to 48 states in January, we’re launching a subscription service called “Club Nomadica.” You can either order monthly or subscribe quarterly, and we’re doing some really fun, exciting things next year.

A: So can you tell us any of those things?

K: So I’m so excited about this. We’re offering this up to all of our Club Nomadica customers, they get 24-7 access to me for all of their wine questions. It’s called “Text a Somm.” And so we’ve been beta testing it. And this came about because I get probably at least 10 texts a week from friends or family. Either it’s a photo of a wine list, “What’s the cheapest, best wine I can drink?” Or “I’m at the grocery store. What do I get?” And so we were like, wouldn’t this be great if we offered this up to our customers and our early adopters. And we’ve been beta testing it. People love it.

A: Yeah. I will say just full disclosure, no relation to the VinePair Text a Somm program. Totally different.

K: Totally different things.

A: But yeah, no, I think that’s super cool. I mean, obviously, yeah. I’m joking, but we did do “Text a Somm” this summer to give working somms a shift, basically. And we saw how many people texted in who have just random questions for wine professionals and they really want to know stuff. So obviously we’re never going to make this full-time. I think it’s super cool that you’re doing it like this. I think you’re also insane to be available 24-7. But I mean, it is still a young company, so I feel that’s when you have the energy be like “Yeah, s***. I’ll do it. 3:00 a.m. I don’t care.” So I dig that. So I have to ask you a question that is not about the wine. Then we’ll get back to the wine, but we’re going to be going all over the place here. I did check out your LinkedIn and it looks like you thought about going to medical school.

K: Yes. Oh my goodness.

A: So, where did that change for you? Obviously you went back, you had done undergrad, then you went back to that post-bacc to go to medical school. Where did you fall in love with wine in that journey and say, “You know what, screw being a surgeon, I’m gonna ultimately own a canned wine brand.”

K: So I majored in sustainable agriculture, moved to San Francisco, cooked for a little bit, worked at some really amazing restaurants, front of house, met Carlin Carr, who’s now the wine director for the Frasca group. She was so generous with pours. I cannot even tell you, and I kind of started to get the bug for wine there, but for a slew of reasons decided that “No, I should be a doctor. I should go prove to people that I’m really smart.” And so I went and did my pre-med post-bacc at Harvard. I’m originally from Massachusetts, so it was just moving back home for me, essentially. And throughout this time I was spending my summers working on Nantucket at Straight Wharf Restaurant, which actually has an incredible Bordeaux and Burgundy cellar. The restaurant has been around since the ’70s. Julia Child was actually the opening chef there. I know, so, so cool. And my last year, and here’s when I really started to get exposed to great wine. And there’s very generous guests. I had the opportunity to taste things that I could never in a million years afford to buy. And then in my last year of school, I’m taking my MCAT, applying for med school, I get in and that’s that, I’m going to med school. I’m going to be a doctor. And I meet this woman, Felicia Foster, who was running the small wine bar in Somerville, which is right outside of Boston, called Spoke Wine Bar. And she just mentored me, invited me to taste with her, you know when you first start out in wine and you’re tasting things and just don’t have the confidence to name flavors, to talk about the wine. She just encouraged me, and exposed me to Piedmont and Austria and Germany and all these wines that I just had no idea about, and she just really encouraged me to leave school because I was pretty miserable. I’ll be honest. And I love wine and I just took the leap and never looked back.

A: That’s great. That’s awesome. So back to the wine. So obviously the company is only a few years old. What are your goals for Nomadica? Would you like to ultimately grow it to a level where it is bought by a larger wine company? Would you like to own it forever? Would you like to ultimately use the label to expand into bottles or other things? I’m curious, what is your vision for the brand? As of right now as we’re closing out 2020 moving into 2021.

K: I really do want Nomadica to be everywhere. I think we’ve all had the experience in our life, whether it’s we go to a sports game or a movie theater and you drink beer because there’s not a wine that you would drink. And I really do think Nomadica solves that problem. And to be quite honest, we’re just so focused on building this thing and making it as great as it possibly can be that if we potentially get bought out, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We’re just trying to make our product as great as can be and do some really fun things while we’re at it.

A: So you bring up a really great question and probably something that some people who listen to the VinePair podcasts always have, which is how do you get into those kinds of places? How do you get into the sports arenas or the movie theaters or the Holy Pitas of the world? And what I mean by that is I think that your value proposition is really great. I love the cans. I think the juice inside the can is absolutely stellar. And I get the marketing positioning of sommelier-curated wines. But the places that I think where you find the initial customers is where you’re talking about, right? The places where I wish there was a good glass of wine, but I don’t have it. And for the most part at those places, the person doing the buying may not know the difference between Nomadica or be able to appreciate the differences between Nomadica and that canned wine brand from Oregon or that canned wine brand from — not to pick on them — that canned wine brand from Northern California or something else from even New York state, right? How do you explain to them that this is the canned wine brand they should have for all of the reasons that I understand they should have it, the quality, the better design, all that stuff. Is it just that they see the package and they get it? What is your strategy there?

K: The packaging definitely is the door opener, but our strategy is really just, I can’t even tell you how great I’ve gotten at rejection the last few years. I remember starting this journey and thinking I’m great at sales. I sell wine on the floor every night, I can sell so much wine, and I really didn’t realize how you just have to constantly take it on the chin and keep going. And that’s basically my strategy. So I never really take no for an answer because I do think that there’s always an opportunity to revisit. And that our sales have definitely shown that to be true. And maybe it’s not always a “no,” maybe it’s a “not now.” And you just relentlessly follow up. You leverage your network. I stalk buyers, I’ve realized how creepy I am. And we’ve also been really lucky. I recently brought on Terra Hannaford as my COO, and she was the VP of sales from Casamigos and just what a difference she’s made in the company. And she has taught me so much about how to leverage and manage our distribution network, which was not formerly a skill of mine coming from the fine-dining wine world, and how to talk to retailers, how to use everything from your friend that you knew in seventh grade who maybe has a cousin that owns a wine shop. You got to really connect with people. And so I think it’s been working pretty well.

A: That’s awesome. So I feel like at this point I have a really good picture of the business. Do you plan to raise more money? What are your goals? Because like I said, the cool programs you have coming are “Text a Somm” et cetera. What are your goals when you think about where you’d like to be at the end of 2021?

K: Yeah, well we’ll raise some more money. We’ve got some exciting innovations on the way that you will be one of the first people to know about, I promise. I’m so excited about that for 2021. And just a lot of really innovative programming, and you know things take money, unfortunately. And I want to be everywhere in the U.S.

A: Kristen, this was really awesome to talk to you and get to know the business, where you’re headed. Like I said, I really think that the product is awesome. When I came in contact with it two years ago, I thought it was great. And then to be fair, I see so much stuff that it passed my mind. And when I got emailed about it again a few weeks ago, I was like, “Oh man, yes, I absolutely want to have this conversation” because I think you really seem to get it in a way that I think a lot of other people who are trying to do the canned wine thing just are missing, right? I’m not telling you to make, as I said earlier, the next “Bud Light.” I’m telling you to make the thing that I also would love to have out on my table or to be seen with in the park. That’s what I want. And I feel you’re delivering that, and it’s just awesome.

K: Thank you, Adam. That’s so nice.

A: So anyways, all the best in 2021 and with Nomadica. I’ll definitely keep watching, and I’ll definitely drink it when I go to Holy Pita.

K: Shout Out to Holy Pita!

A: Shout out to Holy Pita. Talk to you soon.

K: Bye, Adam. Thanks.

Thanks so much for listening to the VinePair Podcast. If you enjoy listening to us every week, please leave us a review or rating on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever it is that you get your podcasts. It really helps everyone else discover the show. Now, for the credits. VinePair is produced and hosted by Zach Geballe and me, Adam Teeter. Our engineer is Nick Patri and Keith Beavers. I’d also like to give a special shout-out to my VinePair co-founder Josh Malin and the rest of the VinePair team for their support. Thanks so much for listening, and we’ll see you again right here next week.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity

The article Next Round: Nomadica Wine Co-Founder Kristin Olszewski on Making Canned Wine Cool appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/next-round-nomadica-wine-kristin-olszewski/