#uh danchou are you okay

[astrxealis]

i forgot that there’s pandemonium/pandaemonium in gbf too ngl

[circle-bircle]

order isn't real do whatever. oh my god you didn't know about the eternity sands... YEAH... to 5* the weapon you need to have 3 eternity sands. to flb the evoker you also need a second evolite. to get the evoker's 4th skill you need a sunstone. also 100 world ideans. to fight the world and get its ideans, you need 1 of each defender mat from zone mundus. there's 4 defenders. you need 50 defender mats to flb the evoker, then 100 of each (approximately, the world seems to be okay at dropping 2-3 ideans for me per fight) to fight the world enough. so me obsessed with two evokers needs to get 300 defender mats and fight the world 200 times. i'll be over here... forever... uh you also need to recruit all the eternals in order to get new world quartz (the stuff you make/upgrade evoker weapons with) as a box option in gw.

god i hope so!!! i hope so!!! he deserves to have fun. danchou's over here running away and being horrified even when he brings us popcorn, danchou please. pleaseee. accept the serial killer into your heart. nier/death fought the world with the power of love, literally, i can't wait to see how he's going to do it.

you have extremely good opinions on cute murderers and spouses has anyone ever told you that

no offense im not reading your paragraph of telling me what i gotta do. i need eternity sands for transcending the summons not (gestures vaguely) the 1 million ideans and killing 50 of this random tree/bug/?????? in replicard. i knew the gw thing but i barely have two of them unlocked because all of the other ones are ugly and/or boring. i have bad taste in eternals so (shrug) godspeed to you my amigo. i feel like the anniversary goodies should have helped with the nwq shortage unless you were a little bit silly and spent them all on sephira stones or something

i feel like instead of fighting the world with love i think he is going to fight the world with his bare hands and something something 'isn't this a wonderful concerto?!?' (and also the tower because obvs). but it'd be funny if he got his ass handed to him.

you just told me that!! thank you!! i'm honored :D

[x0401x]

Mekakucity Talkers: Chapter 24

As Mary sent a message to Mekakushi-dan’s chatroom, the one who showed up was Kano of 20 years in the future!?

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Mekakushi-dan Chatroom

Mary: Oitsusu.

(T/N: This was her failing to imitate Seto’s “oissu”.)

Mary: Is there anyone around? After practicing typing in my phone, I’ve become able to do it properly.

(T/N: She’s writing everything in hiragana.)

Mary: Also, just a while ago, I got a weird message. When I opened it, a lot of weird letters appeared on the screen, so I wonder if it’s a dangerous mail. Have you guys received it too? Huh? Everyone, what’s wrong? Are you not here?

???: This icon... could it be Mary?

Mary: Wh-Who are you?

???: My~, how nostalgic. It’s been a long time since this chatroom had any messages.

Mary: Who are you? Is this... Mekakushi-dan?

???: Yeah, right guess, right guess! This is Mekakushi-dan’s chatroom. I deleted my icon so you might not be able to recognize me, but this is Kano~!

Mary: Kano, you startled me.

???: No, no, I’m the one who’s surprised. To think what Mary had said back at that time would come true...

Mary: What do you mean?

???: That’s right~. I don’t know if you’ll believe me if I say it, but the world I’m in is of 20 years ahead.

Mary: 20 years... ahead?

???: Do you get it? Right now, I’m in the future where 20 years have passed from the world you are in, Mary. 

Mary: Eh? Azm... Amazing. Kano, you’re amazing. You time-slipped?

???: Ah, wrong, wrong. It’s the opposite, Mary.

Mary: “Opposite”?

???: I mean it’s not me; the one who time-slipped was you, Mary. You’re connected to a world 20 years later through this chatroom.

Mary: Wawawah. I’m amazing. I’m like the protagonist of some book.

???: Oh? So you believe in me?

Mary: I do. It’s amazing.

???: Mary, you’re so upfront, huh... You have a flexibility that we didn’t after we became adults.

Mary: What is everyone doing 20 years later?

???: Oh? You gonna ask about that~? My, being asked and talking about these past 20 years make me tear up! I’ve been leading a life of generosity~

Mary: What is Kido up to?

???: Huh~? Are you okay with not listening to my story~?

Mary: What about Kido?

???: Okay, okay, Kido it is. To tell the truth, that instantaneous strength and highly aggressive kicking technique are things to expect in her, y’see. Guess what; she’s working internationally as a kick boxer...!

Mary: A kick boxer... So she fights?

???: That’s right! As of now, she has a body stronger than anyone else’s... I can’t stand up to her at all. One of these days, too, I nearly had my neck broken.

Mary: What about Momo-chan?

???: No, wait, listen to my story a bit.

Mary: Talk about Momo-chan.

???: Okay, okay. Kisaragi-chan, it is~. She said she wanted to create a new type of food with that unique sense of hers. Actually, she quit being an idol and are now a food researcher...! I wonder whether she is or not producing numerous disgusting dishes day and night...

Mary: Mo... Mo-Mo-Mo... Momo-chan’s food... I don’t wanna ea... I don’t wanna ea...

???: Well, I get what you mean to say. Once people eat her cooking, they can’t forget its taste, right?

Mary: A-Anyone else?

???: Let’s see... The one who shocked me the most was Shintarou-kun, I think.

Mary: Shintarou...

???: About that, one day, he suddenly shaved his head, secluded himself in the mountains, started training and became a monk.

Mary: A monk... Shintarou’s hair is gone?

???: Hm, that’s right... But hair is kind of an extremely delicate topic for me, so I guess I’d rather if you leave it as that...

Mary: Got it.

???: Well, we’re all doing our best. Ene-chan is active as a virtual idol in that form of hers. Hibiya-kun’s character bloomed so he attends lives everyday as an idol otaku.

Mary: Kano, what about you?

???: Eh?

Mary: Kano, what do you do?

???: Ah~, to be honest... I don’t really wanna say it...

Mary: ?

???: I sorta failed at work, and now I’m living in a cardboard box at the park...

Mary: Eh? Uh... D-Do your best. Hum... Uh...

???: Believing in a story like that... Mary, you really are naïve after all.

Mary: Eh? Ah.

???: It was a joke, it was a joke! I’d just wanted to tease you a little~

Mary: Was this a lie?

???: Yup! A lie! About everyone’s occupations too; a~ll of them!

Mary: Kano, you idiot. I won’t forgive you. Revenge.

???: Don’t talk of dangerous things like revenge! That was just a bit of communication! Besides, what I said about this being 20 years later is true, y’know? Even now that 20 years have passed, we’re all doing our best.

Mary: Geez. I see. Is that so? Hum. Kano, even after 20 years, is everyone still...

???: Mary, do you really wanna ask that?

Mary: Eh?

???: About what everyone is up to right now. About what we’ve been doing 20 years after that.

Mary: Ah... Uh...

???: I can tell you, Mary, about what’s gonna happen to you from this point on. But do you really think you wanna... know?

Mary: Hn... Erm... As expected, I’ll leave it be. I won’t ask.

???: Is that so? I would tell you the truth this time, y’know?

Mary: It’s fine. I mean, I’ll know it someday. I’ll confirm it by myself.

???: Mary, since it’s you, I did think you’d say that. I’m relieved.

Mary: wawawawah

???: Eh? What’s wrong?

Mary: My phone is acting weird. It’s rattling.

???: Speaking of that, Mary, your phone broke 20 years ago. You’d better buy a new one. Give my regards to the me of that side, ‘kay?

Mary: Ah, hot. The phone is hot.

???: Aah, just let go of it already!

Mary: Kano. See you.

???: Yup. See you, Mary.

Mary-san has logged out.

???: Huhu. It’s been 20 years after that, huh?

??? (2): Even 20 years ago, Mary was Mary.

???: Huh? What~? If you were seeing this, you could have talked to her~

??? (2): I pass.

???: You’re referring to yourself as “ore” again~. In the Mekakushi-dan chatroom, you properly act like the leader, huh~?

???: Shut up. I could go kick you right now.

???: No, seriously, please cut me some slack.

??? (3): As a matter of fact, Danchou-san’s kicking technique is splendid. Maybe you could aim for the world, y’know? I have confidence in my cooking as well!

??? (4): Oh~? If everyone wishes for it, I also wouldn’t mind transforming myself into a super hyper pretty virtual idol, y’know!?

???: My, my~? Somehow, none of you had deleted this chat app. If Shintarou-kun were alive, he’d surely have been happy about that...

??? (5): Hey! I ain’t dead! Don’t just kill me off!

???: You’re poking your nose in briskly today too, huh~

??? (3): But I’m surprised~. What Mary-chan said 20 years ago really wound up being true in the end~.

??? (5): Back when I heard she had time-slipped, I was baffled.

???: Ah! That’s right! Since we’re already at it, why don’t we all assemble next time? We could go out for drinks for once in a long while.

??? (4): Aah, seems good!

??? (3): Well, then...

......... ......... .........

[cinnbar-bun]

Okay, so however you wish to write this but basically scenario between Lancelot x Reader (main default granblue mc lol) where they still don't know they like each other but are really close friends still. Their having a conversation one day where the topic somehow comes to about who Reader likes and instead of avoiding it they usually do they start to describe who they like aka Lancelot, in an attempt to see how he reacts. And he still simply doesn't realize it's him they- (1/2)

They rather look at him I guess gently but before they know say something directly along the lines of, “and he’s the handsome yet dense dork of a captain right next to me.” Because everything else wasnt obvious enough? And so cues a bright blushing reader because that was beyond obvious they wanted to go? XD Ehehehe hope that wasnt too much. Tumblr doesn’t give enough room somedays. Hope you enjoy that and Have a wonderful day too~! (2/2) 

A/n: UGH MY HEART!!! I LOVE CLUELESS LANCELOT! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THOSE V-DAY QUOTES LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL LANCEY

Clueless Lancelot is Clueless (A Memoir Written by Danchou)

What the actual hell. This had been the fifth time this week that Lancelot had been asking who you liked. Why was he pestering you about it? Doesn’t he know how he makes your heart flutter?

“Lancelot, don’t you think that’s a bit too personal to be asking me?” 

“Oh come on Captain, I just thought it’d be nice to know! Friends always tell these sort of things to each other.” He laughed. 

Oh. So that’s how he felt. 

Not that it shocked you, he was potentially (if he wasn’t already) one of the most eligible bachelors in the skydom. Many had taken a strong liking to the loyal and determined Captain of the White Dragon Knights. 

So, why would he bother to choose you out of all people? There was probably royalty wishing for him to wed them. 

You sighed bitterly and shook your head. 

“Fine”, you spat, “You wanna know that bad?” You were getting rather heated and mentally cursed yourself for yelling at him. He hadn’t done anything wrong. 

“Well yes, of course!” He smiled, clearly missing the sarcastic tone in your voice. Damn him and that smile, you thought. 

“Well, for starters, he’s very popular. Like, everyone knows his name.” 

“Siegfried?” Lancelot gawked. You rolled your eyes and continued.

“No. He’s a very strong knight and takes pride in what he does.” 

“Oh, so Percival then?” He added curiously. Was he serious?

“No, not Percival. He’s super nice and helps me all the time.”

“…Vane?” Lancelot sounded like he was asking a question, but by your scowl, he presumed it was not Vane you were talking about. 

“He has dark hair-”

“Eugen?” 

“No. He is very talented-”

“Rackam?” 

“No Lancelot, he is very good with a sword.” 

“Cain…”

“FOR THE LAST TIME, NO!” You yelled angrily. He seemed taken aback by your scream and you covered your mouth in embarrassment.

“I-I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have-” Great, you thought, if he didn’t like you then, he surely didn’t like you now. 

Lancelot quickly ran up to you and placed his hands on your shoulders, worry evident on his face.

“Please don’t cry, (Y/n). It was my mistake, I shouldn’t have pestered you like that.” You pitifully laughed and decided to just tell him. You already looked stupid, why not just get it over with?

“You really wanna know who I like?” You murmured. 

“You don’t have to tell me, I don’t wish to make you more uncomfort-”

“No…I think I should. So, you wanna know?” You asked again, your heart beating a mile a minute. 

“I guess, since you’re so insistent.” He bit his lip in guilt and looked sadly at you. However, you gently smiled at him, your eyes puffy and red as you held his hands tightly. 

“He’s a wonderful man, too good for me, honestly. After all I put him through, he still likes to make time for me.”

“He must be a great man to woo you like this.” 

“Yes, he very much is so. He’s the dense man standing right in front of me.” You felt your heart stop when you heard him gasp. He didn’t respond, and you pulled yourself away from him. 

“Yeah…well now you know. Since… you know… friends tell each other these sort of things.” You bit you lip tightly and turned around so he would not have to look at your tearful face. You began walking away until you felt him roughly pull you back. 

“No! Stay! Uh…” he realized how rough he was handling you and relaxed a bit more. “Do you wish to know who I like?” 

“It’s fine, we’ve embarrassed ourselves quite enough right now-” You felt his lips press against yours as he embraced you tightly. 

What the actual heck??

He chuckled at your cute reaction and gave you that award winning smile.

“They are a wonderful Captain of a certain skycrew, who never fails to cheer me up and fight for their comrades. An amazing kisser too.” He added, smiling even wider at your red cheeks. 

“You-you actually like me?” You stammered. 

“Of course I do. You’ve been a lifesaver for me repeatedly. I wish to court you, if you don’t mind?” 

“Guess my answer, genius.” His response was lost due to you kissing him once again. 

His clueless attitude was one of the reasons you fell for him after all.

[the-silver-lotus]

and they were ducks...oh my god they were ducks

“L-Levi-duck, Heichou...”

“Be quiet, shitty duck, I’m trying to get it in, fucking hold still.”

Eren splayed out his wings against the ground as webbed feet slid on the slick grass. This was absolutely horrible. Horrible! He hated ‘mating’ with the smaller, black duck because it hurt every damn time. His corkscrew penis jabbing him constantly was hell.

Eren thrashed suddenly when the tip entered and he quacked loudly into the night, Levi quacking angrily behind him.

“Levi-duck Heichou, please, stop! Not tonight!”

“You’re gonna take my corkscrew dick and you’re gonna like it, dammit.”

Levi shoved harder and suddenly Eren leaned back to fling the black duck off of his, flapping his wings in a wild haste to get away. He quacked and quacked until he was running as fast as he could with his wings outstretched beside him. He heard a loud, angry quack behind him and he turned his head to see Levi chasing after him with his head down low and bill open, and then he was hissing in irritation.

Eren turned his head back around and only then realized before he could skid to a halt, that Erwin was right in front of him. He bowled into the large golden duck and they both went flying into the pond, quacking and hissing along the way.

When they finally emerged from the water they found Levi tapping his webbed foot against the ground with the crest of feathers on his head fully extended in the air.

Levi sighed then and his feathers relaxed on his head. 

“You’re the shittiest duck I’ve ever met. Let's get back to our nest.”

“Oh, Levi-duck, don’t you think torturing him again with your penis in one day is a little much?”

“Shut your bill, Eyebrow-duck, no one cares what you think. Let’s go, idiot,” he said when he turned beady eyes on Eren.

“Uh, o-okay, um, goodnight, Erwin-duck Danchou!”

They waddled back to their nest, and as soon as Eren’s back was turned Levi jumped on his back and bit the back of his neck with a hiss.

Oh, shit.

“Levi-duck, no, stop, argh!”

Eren woke up in a sweat, breathing heavily. Immediately, he turned to Levi.

“Oh my god! Levi, Levi, wake up! I had the weirdest dream!”

He lifted his head with a groan. “Ugh, what is it this time?”

“This is gonna sound crazy but...we were ducks! And you chased me around and we made duck noises and you even tried to fuck me with a corkscrew penis, and, and-”

“Eren. Eren. Look at me. Listen to me carefully, are you listening?”

Eren nodded and Levi spoke.

“Eren. We are ducks.”

“Oh my god, we are ducks.”

Part 2

[nekumiko]

Greater Than the Gift

Fandom: Kagerou Project

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Rated: K+

Words: 1,501

Summary:  His Eyes had taken away his very rare, once-a-year only escape from this cruel world. But is that all really it?

For as long as little Kousuke could remember, birthdays meant receiving bigger portions of the food rations, getting prioritized for adoption, and most of all, everyone suddenly becoming kind to him. Then it’d be back to the cruel reality of him being too small, helpless, and weak right at the next day. Where him getting bullied, laughed at, and isolated was a normal routine.

However, it had actually been quite nice to revel in this momentary special treatment. At least, for once a year, he’d get a break from the unfairness and misery he’d been forced to live with despite his young age.But for the previous year, he’d started hearing voices. People’s real voices that tell him words that don’t usually match the ones they speak out loud. It was terrifying, traumatizing. And worse, he couldn’t help it.

And so, as the clock ticked towards the first hour of his seventh birthday, he’d feared the things he’d hear. It had already been bad enough to have to suffer through their countless mean thoughts directed at him every day. But tomorrow, the only day he’d looked forward to each year, would just be the worst. This ability he had gained cannot give him freedom from the harsh world anymore.

If only Hanako, his trusty dog best friend, had still been with him, he’d be okay. He’d been certain its thoughts only meant to comfort him like usual. And that alone would’ve been the perfect gift. But he had also known that would not be possible anymore.

Kousuke had felt the bed shift suddenly, the springs too noisy in the dark. He had turned around and saw the boy from the top bunk climbing down to sit on his bed. “Shuuya?”

“Hey. You’re crying again, huh?” The blonde boy had smiled wryly down at him.

“I’m sorry.” He had sat up as well. “Am I keeping you up?”

“Nah, it’s alright.” Shuuya had grinned. “You’d get a pass for everything in a few hours anyway, birthday boy.”

He had looked away. “A-ah, yeah, I guess.”

“Hmm?” The other boy had peered at him. “Why the long face? Ah, are you afraid of getting adopted?”

He had shaken his head fiercely. “No, I don’t think that would be a problem. No one wants a monster, so I’m sure I’d be safe.” Kousuke had tried smiling then. “Besides, no one gets adopted first, right? That was the promise. Tsubomi did quite well on her birthday two months ago.”

“Ah, yes. So,” Shuuya had winked, “not to pressure you or anything, but my friend, the pressure’s on you.”

“Huh?”

Shuuya had only chuckled. “Never mind that. I’m sure you’d do a great job displeasing those clients tomorrow.”

Kousuke had frowned. “I already displease everyone.”

Shuuya had stopped smiling then. “No, Kousuke, not… everyone.”

“Everyone!” he had repeated quite forcefully. “Even you and Tsubomi think I’m annoying!”

That had shut Shuuya up. Or rather, the boy didn’t have the heart to say anything more in his defense as Kousuke had begun to cry.

“I… I just want this to stop!” he had struggled to say in between sniffles, hands moving to cover his ears. “I’m sick of everyone lying to me! Especially tomorrow! Tomorrow would be the one day each year when everybody would act like they like me. Even if it’s just for a day, I’m happy with that. But now… now, it will never be the same again! Because I’d still hear what they really think of me – that they hate me, that they’re disgusted with me!” Kousuke had ended up curling into a ball and rocking himself back and forth until he calmed down.

It had been a long moment of nothing but his soft cries, so it was a surprise to feel the other boy’s presence still beside him.

He had looked up. “Y-you’re still here…?”

“Of course! I am your friend! Tsubomi and I are!” Shuuya had grinned again. “Even if you… well, do get on some people’s nerves at times, we will stay, because we’re your friends! And friends don’t usually give up on each other that easily, right? So just think: tomorrow, you may hear all sorts of mean stuff even if they give you their biggest smiles, but know that you’d also be hearing from at least two sincere kids. And that would be me and Tsu—“

“Quiet down, you two!” they had heard an older kid grumble from the opposite side of that room they shared with the other boys. “We’re trying to sleep here!”

Shuuya had only snickered before he patted a startled Kousuke’s head. “It’ll be okay. Cheer up! It’s supposed to be a happy birthday, right? And like I said, you’ve got us. So don’t worry.”

You’ve got us.

Kousuke had taken note of that phrase that resonated in his head as he laid back down. It had allowed him to survive his birthday that year, and the years after that, eventually learning how to control his power. True enough, he hadn’t been alone in achieving that.

You’ve got us.

As time passed, he’d also found out that anyone – classmates, teachers, coworkers, bosses, strangers – can think badly of you, intentionally or not, no matter how much kindness you show them. But by the end of the day, he’s got people he could count on to give him the truest smiles and the sincerest words of appreciation. Shuuya and Tsubomi, then the Tateyamas, and then Marry.

And this year, the even bigger set of friends he found waiting for him just as he opened their apartment door when he went home from work that day.

“Happy Birthday!” he was greeted in chorus.

Seto’s eyes widened. He’d kind of expected a little celebration (he’d been accidentally overhearing Marry and Momo’s plans since last week), but how the base turned out to look surprised him.

Because it seemed like his friends did some kind of big art project. Paint stains on the carpet he’s sure Kido had gotten mad at, Happy Birthday cutouts hanging from the center of the room, quite uneven streamers strewn across the walls, and a bunch of Post-its on the one right nearby. When he took a closer look, they were short notes signed by the Dan for him.

“Wow!” He looked back at his friends gathered in the middle of the living room. “T-thanks, everyone.”

“Sorry for the lack of artistry,” Momo said sheepishly. “We didn’t want to spend your money.”

“After all,” Ene piped in, “you’re the most responsible almost-adult here! Right, Master?”“Yeah, sure,” Shintaro deadpanned.

Seto smiled as he scratched the back of his head. “Oh, uh, thanks again, then?”

“But we did spend some— “

“Oh, shush you!” Momo interrupted Hibiya.

Kano laughed. “Oh, come on, there’s no point in keeping it a secret.”

He suddenly noticed the little medusa do the slightest twitch.

“You seriously said something like that, huh?” Kido raised an eyebrow at the blonde. “Though, you have a point. See that cake, Seto?”

Seto glanced at the dining table a few distances behind one of the living room couches.

“Uwah, Danchou, so straightforward!” Kano whined. “But yeah, that large, delicious-looking chocolate treat you’d normally see from that bakeshop just across the street,” he described carefully, “actually came from your paycheck.”

“Because I was supposed to help out with baking one,” Kido added, “but unfortunately I was helping the clumsiest person alive.”

Marry, who was standing in between the two, visibly tried to make herself small. “I-i-it was an accident…”

“Oh, come on, you guys! Stop bullying her.” A fond look on his face, Seto approached Marry and pat her head. “It’s okay. I’m sure you only meant well.”

“I just wanted to do something special for Seto,” she murmured. “Because Kano said you’d get tons of gifts from work already. Something about always being employee of the month?”

“And older women coworkers crushing on you,” Kano added.

“W-what?”

Marry glared at the deceiver for a moment before looking back at Seto and pursing her lips. “It looks like he’s right, though.”

Seto turned to the door where Marry had been eyeing the plastic bag he’d set down upon entering, which Konoha was now rummaging through. A few chocolate bars were already at the android’s feet.

“Those notes were just a last-minute idea I asked them to do.” Marry hung her head. “I’m really sorry.”

Today at work, he received pats on the back, unexpected favors, free food, little presents. But then again, he knew not everyone’s sincere. And he didn’t need his Eyes to confirm that. Just the other day, he witnessed some of these same people look at and speak of him maliciously.

“You know what?” Seto gently lifted her chin to properly look at her. “Those messages are actually the best gifts this year. Really, thank you. Believe me, it’s… the thought that counts.”

Seto had to smile again. Suddenly, that old saying had a whole different meaning to him now.