#uh sorry actually i have self respect and i don't do tricks. say what you mean cuz you're gonna get what you say :)

[izzyspussy]

i really hate the plotline where sophie was like i need space so nate gave her space and the narrative was like look at this fucking idiot

[weebsinstash]

People keep asking me if I have any 'yandere Alastor vs. yandere Lucifer fighting over Reader' ideas, and I gotta say one of my favorite ones is uh

Ok so I just am trying to kick myself in the ass to write this in of itself, but, I really like the idea of Alastor just straight up tricking you into giving him your soul. "Oh what if Reader takes a deal from him" no what if he makes a deal for your soul and you don't even fucking realize what you're doing and it's completely unintentional. I'm talking, my specific idea, is that after a prolonged series of events where you both gain and then lose Alastor's respect, he then approaches you when you're just like DRUNK DRUNK and, you're being all social and slurring and honestly he's embarrassed for you but at least you're talking to him, and, he sets his trap: making it seem like just an innocent little game, Alastor suggests you two have some kind of drinking game, and the winner can take ANY ONE THING from the other, and he's even all "oh, you don't even have to bother yourself with thinking about it! I could simply JUST TAKE IT and not even inform you, so then you wouldn't even have to worry yourself about whatever it is I decided to... acquire for myself :)"

And here's your drunken delusionally confident ass, thinking YOU'RE gonna pull one over on HIM, YOU trick ALASTOR "oh haha there's definitely nothing I have he wants lol, what would he do, take my cellphone or some of my shitty clothes or collectibles, lmao, I'm gonna win and I'm gonna ask him for some sort of special power or cool thing or gossip, this is low stakes high reward for sure"

Cue you like IMMEDIATELY losing his challenge, and even then, you're all smiles and laughs, "aww, I thought I had you there! So what are you taking?" And he just "Ohhhh, nothing :) actually I... even already took it from you!" And he starts LAUGHING laughing and you're just like "oh, you bastard, you got me! >u< more drinks, yay!"

I like the idea that Reader wakes up the next morning STILL in compete ignorance but uh, eventually you find out exactly how terrifying having someone else own your soul is when Alastor gives you some sort of command of something you REALLY do not want to do and you can't even control your own body to stop yourself from doing it anyways. Just the... violations of privacy, the loss of autonomy. He can force every thought and secret out of your mouth, your head, and move your body to the best of its abilities, and also just, PLUCK you to his location at will

So. Lucifer finds you just absolutely BROKEN in bed, like emotionally devastated, you are as close to suicidal as you can be for someone who cannot die, and, maybe you've even self-harmed. And after some gentle prodding from the Devil, you reveal what Alastor did, but, even more than that, how it made you FEEL. Alastor had approached you as some kind of friend, then started to want to exert some kind of ... control over you, commenting on your lifestyle choices, wanting you to do things with him in HIS way, and then when you resisted, he acted like you were a disappointment, even stopped spending time with you, and THEN, after you thought he was done with you, TRICKS YOU into giving him YOUR SOUL. It's just completely destroyed your psyche. It's reinforced horrible things you've thought about yourself your entire life. It made you feel alone, and now, you don't even have your soul anymore

So naturally Lucifer is like, "That's horrible! I'm so sorry he hurt you like that, I won't let him do this!" AND JUST FUCKING UNDOES IT. Contract WHAT? Radio Demon WHO? this is HELL and Lucifer is, you know, THE DEVIL FROM UH, THE BIBLE, and he's just snapping his fingers and you FEEL your soul come back to you and now you're breaking down crying for entirely different reasons while Lucifer holds you

MEANWHILE ALASTOR, who is fucking off elsewhere, may or may not be lovingly gazing at whatever form your soul is taking within his grasp, HAS IT RIPPED AWAY FROM HIM AND STARTS LOSING HIS MIND. Some "Wait, what just happened? Ffffuck." shit for real, he's, abruptly jerking out of his chair so hard it's sliding across the floor and he's racing back to the Hotel. Charlie stands up for him and shouts down her father that he has no right to ask the Radio Demon to leave, but, Charlie "attempts" to give Alastor "a stern talking to" about how "friends don't take other friend's souls, taking other people's souls is not how we get into Heaven" which, of course, falls on deaf ears, but Charlie isn't the Morningstar Alastor is wanting to concern himself with

And of course, there's Lucifer, making sure he's standing close to you, maybe even between you and Alastor, standing in front of you protectively, MAYBE EVEN HOLDING YOUR HAND TO COMFORT YOU. Alastor just immediately putting two and two together what happened and all but grinding his teeth into dust. Not only has Lucifer interfered and taken something IRREPLACEABLE from him(which was something he took from YOU lol), but, Lucifer has driven a wedge between you ans the Radio Demon. Alastor is watching you regard him with nothing but anger and sadness and fear while clinging to the tiny fallen angel and just, ohhhh, if looks could kill, the staredown these two are having with each other over you...

You've got one yandere who had your soul within his hands and had it taken back before he even got to enjoy having it, didn't get to DO anything with it, and another yandere who, quite understandably, feels that it isn't safe to let you leave from under his protective wing, and BOTH of them are convinced you have to be protected from the other while ALSO being super powerful

You know, the perfect combination of dangerous abilities and dangerous minds :) obviously our favorite Appletini is the more powerful one, but I think our Bambi could give him a good run for his money through sheer trickery alone. If you thought it was annoying getting pulled into antagonistic musicals BEFORE--

[neoflames]

Ethdubs oneshot :D

Is it only the third of December? Yes, but I’m writing a Christmas themed oneshot anyway.

Also:

Bold text = author’s note

Italics = thoughts

-

Quick Chapter Summary: The Hermits decide to make use of the Crastle (which has been empty since the downfall of King Ren) for a Christmas party, and Ren tricks Etho and BDubs into going down a hallway with mistletoe while the other Hermits are in the Vault.

BDubs glanced sideways as Ren drew to a halt by the doorway leading into a corridor. "Before we join the others, I actually have something I'd like to show you guys- it's... just down that corridor, but I need to check on something before I show you- you two go ahead." The dog hybrid reassured them, glancing between Etho and BDubs with an expression BDubs couldn't read.

"Uh... sure." Etho said with a shrug. "Come on, Bubadubs, let's go." The white haired man added with a laugh, walking past Ren.

"I told you to stop calling me that- I'm a god, you know. A sun god. You should respect me!" BDubs protested, following him hastily.

"Riiiight. Self proclaimed sun god, sorry I forgot." Etho corrected himself.

"I am not a self proclaimed sun god, I- ask Gem!" BDubs blurted. "I was the god of her religion in her empire on the other server we went to- which was a lot of fun by the way, apart from the part where Grian shrunk us all." He added in a cross mutter.

"Really? He shrunk you as well? But you don't need shrinking! You're already short." Etho shot back and BDubs glared at him half-heartedly.

"Not everyone can be a six foot tall freak of nature." He mumbled, unable to come up with a better response as they drew to a halt in the next doorway. "Like- you're unnecessarily tall. Who needs to be that tall? Not me. I'm fine being average height- even though I'm a bit above that!" The brunette added hastily.

"You? Average heigh- oh. Oh, no-ho-ho, that is- Ren, you little-" Etho trailed off, and BDubs frowned slightly as he noticed a slight blush form on what he could see of the lower part of Etho's face (which wasn't much).

"What? Etho? You okay?" He waved a hand in front of his friend's face. Etho said nothing, blinking and pointing up. BDubs looked up, and above them was...

Mistletoe.

Ren, you sly dog- BDubs glanced back at Etho, immediately blurting out a protest. "Uh- we don't- have to kiss, it's- we don't-" The brunette broke off, his face going bright red.

"I mean..." Etho frowned slightly, avoiding his gaze. "Isn't it meant to be bad luck or something? You know- if you don't kiss someone when you're under mistletoe together?" BDubs paused.

"I mean... yeah, I- I guess it's bad luck. I mean, I don't want bad luck." He glanced up quietly to meet Etho's heterochromic gaze. "Do you?"

There was a small silence. "No." Etho said, his voice barely louder than a whisper, reaching for his face and pulling down his mask. BDubs bit back a small gasp, smiling slightly. Yes, he'd seen Etho's face before, but it had been a while since he had, and it was a delightful surprise every time he did. Oh my god, it's not even about superstition at this point, is it?

I want to kiss Etho.

BDubs barely even registered the fact the two had moved closer together before Etho pulled him into a kiss. BDubs blinked, closing his eyes and leaning into it. He smiled slightly as he heard Etho humming into the kiss.

The kiss could have lasted for seconds, minutes, hours- BDubs had no clue. He just knew that he was incredibly disappointed when Etho was the first to break the kiss, his face still tinged slightly red as he pulled away.

"We should... probably head to the Vault for the party now. Doesn't seem like Ren's gonna show up." He added with a laugh. "And the others will prooobably be wondering where we are." Etho added quietly, pulling his mask back up to cover his mouth and nose.

"Uh... yeah. Probably." BDubs glanced back at Etho, half hoping that the man would say something else- and he was surprised to find Etho staring back at him as well.

"Are you... sure you're okay with what just happened? Sorry if I weirded you out, it's just- superstition and stuff. I- don't want bad luck?" That's Etho's lying voice- why is he lying? "I didn't mean it in that way if that's what you were thinking." The man added hastily.

Oh.

"Uh- yeah. It's fine. Don't worry about it." BDubs reassured him quietly. Okay, he didn't mean it that way, that's fine, whatever, definitely not like I just realised I like him like that or anything and it took him kissing me to make me realise it, nope. "Yeah, we should head to the others now!" BDubs added with an awkward laugh.

"Yeah." Etho's gaze lingered on him for a second longer before he continued walking the way they had been previously.

I didn't want to be stereotypical and end it with a confession, so have 'BDubs realising he liked Etho when Etho kissed him' instead

Also yes Ren intentionally sent them down that corridor 👀