#ultimately the fastest way to turn me off of something is to ta about it loudly enthusiastically and about all the least interesting parts

[bitegore]

i must not become a bitter joyless hater. bitter joyless haterism is the mind-killer. genuine bitter joyless haterhood is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face my annoyance and frustration. i will permit it to pass over me and through me. and when it has gone past i will turn the inner eye to see its path. where the bitter joyless haterism has gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

[champagneandparacosm-archive]

Of all the things to get a reaction from, this man chose not to enjoy the cute nickname Harley had so graciously bestowed upon him. With a slight pout of disappointment, she apologized. "Sorry, sweetie." But, wait, was that the beginning of a smile? Nah, it was probably just her hunger-causing hallucinations. When they didn't continue to his car, blue eyes watched him with curious fascination as he made a few calls. It hadn't occurred to her he wouldn't want her to go outside in her underclothes. It wasn't as if her tots or anything were showing. Thoughts of shrimp and caviar kept her calm as she waited, her head resting on his shoulder in a lazy manner as he worked. It was strange how she felt safe around him. But that was probably because he was getting her out of this terrible place.

"Ya' mean, you're not gonna' make me dig through the trash ta' find my dress, then hold up a moth-eaten shower curtain while I change behind it in the dark rat-infested alley? Ya' such a gentleman." This wasn't sarcasm, sadly. After a moment, they were off again to another room… with more damn guns. Just as Harley opened her mouth to say something sassy, sarcastic, rude, or all of the above, Spencer said he was what? Looking forward to dining with her? She blinked. Mouth closed as she took a seat. "I'ma' be an angel. Don't you worry, Spenc…er." Almost let it slip. She gave a small wave as he left the room and then proceeded to tell the stylist what she needed for the evening.

"…And that is why ya' can't completely rely on pigs ta' get rid of a body in this day and age," she finished with a disappointed shrug as Spencer returned. "Oh hey, how do I look?" As she made her way over, Harley gave a playful twirl, the black dress fluttering with her movements and ending with her arm around his, so very ready to go. Smiling up at him, she couldn't help asking, "Did you pick this out? Ya' got good tastes. Thank ya'."

He didn’t respond to how she looked. Instead, he simply looked her up and down, meeting her eyes with a glance that could be taken one of two ways: the ‘eh, could have done better’ or ‘bend over the table right now’ 

That look, that very look, was how he got what he wanted so many times before with the same type of women. They liked attention. They liked sex. And they also hated not being noticed. And when the woman wouldn’t be able to tell which look he was giving her… well that opened the door to Spencer finding out what he wanted to know the fastest way possible. He had perfect the look. 

“As a profiler I’ve learned to study the characteristics of a person down to the slightest detail. Your sense of style was rather easy to dissect.” He responded easily, guiding her from the styling room and ultimately out of the prison altogether. The SWAT team filed out behind them, keeping a close watch on her. One wrong move.  They were cautious. 

He led her to a gray SWAT vehicle, the back opening up for them to get inside. He held out his hand to help her inside, climbing up behind her as two soldiers sat opposite of them. Spencer buckled himself in, hands resting on his thighs, looking pat the soldier opposite him. His eyes flicked down to his watch. Three hours left to get the information. His heart raced. 

“They confirmed your confession about the drop. It was infiltrated and shut down.” He spoke, not turning his head to acknowledge her. “I will be speaking to the judge tomorrow, should you comply with your promise to help us capture the Joker, to get your sentence revoked. At the very least, you might serve community time and have to agree to mandatory daily counseling.”

[tanakavox]

A look into the multiverse chapter 6.

Aka the worst written chapter I've ever done. I hate the reacts for this one, feels... weak. Hope you guys enjoy it.

The theater screen lights up and carama begins to pan over a city during night time Citizens mingle down the sidewalks on evening strolls. Above them, a helicopter flies low between the buildings heading for something. A red orb of light appears to chase after it. Shortly thereafter, a flash of gray bounced between the building at high speeds landing on the roof of one. The gray blur was a young Mercury Black, a grin on his face as he looked over the city. He looked to be around 11-12 and his hair was spiker then normal. He had a pair of ears on his head and short tails.

"Ah,yeah! This is happening!" Mercury exclaimed smiling.

"Mercury? Oh no."Emerald said shaking her head afraid of the ego trip her panter might get from this universe.

"He's fast, and… so young." Ruby pointed out.

"What's happening and why is he a fanaus?" Yang asked.

"He's not. He has two traits." Blake pointed. "He looks like a hedgehog though.

The young boy turned to sounds of sirens, looked down to see four police cars rushing to an emergency with screeching tires. He jumps down just in time to see them disappear around the corner.

"What's going down there?'' he mutters to himself. He curls into a ball and rockets after the cars, rolling like a bowling ball.

"That's actually a cool move." Mercury pointed out with a grin.

The police cars have formed a perimeter in front of a large building. Two helicopters hover overhead with their searchlights on as an odd watery figure lands on a police car and stand in place without moving or making a sound.

"That's a interesting creature…" Salem gave a little smile cross her legs thinking of a grimm similar to it.

"You are completely surrounded! Surrender yourself!" officer yelled as the squad aim their guns at figure. It hop over the police squad and they take aim and fire. The bullets only drop to the ground after colliding with it, the aqua figure giving off a low growl.

"Oh, no! Our weapons are useless! Retreat! All personnel, fall back!" The officer cried, him and the rest of the squad running away, a few firing a few more rounds as they ran.

"So it's bulletproof as well? This creature gets more and more interesting." Salem's smile grew larger as she watched the creature in action.

Mercury lands on the car and grins, looking at the being in excitement.

"This could be fun!" He stated he jumps into the air and attacks the monster with a kick, hitting it in what seem to be it's faces knocking it into a car, denting it. Mercury smirks a bit and immediately gets hit by the car that he had sent it into. The boy lifts the car off himself, not seeing to care that he got hit by a car. He cruels into a ball and rams into the creature and soon after the creature starts to run away. Mercury had a look of disappointment of how easy the fight was and chased after the creature.

Come on, ya big drip! Where ya goin'?"

"Yeah Mini me. That was an easy and boring fight." Mercury said with a shake of his head..

"Such a disappointing creature." Salem mutters while uncrossing her legs."

"That 12 year old got hit by a freaking car, and his only reaction was to pick it up and throw it back." Weiss pointed out. "Does nothing think that's amazing for a 12 year without AURA?" When one no answered she just looked back at the screen and muttered to herself: "I guess not."

The creature falls through a drain getting away, Mercury snaps his fingers in frustration as the camera pans into the air and shows smirking, evilly as he looks down at the hedgehog.

"Foolish child. That was Chaos, God of Destruction! And soon my plans will be realized! Watts begins to cackle madly.

Salem raises an eyebrow at the sight of Watts and Chaos. "God of destruction? An unfitting name for such a weak creature."

The scene cuts to Mercury lounging near a pool, sleeping as he hears a noise of a plane. He turns to see a younger Oscar flying out of control.

"Hey look another tiny Oscar!" Nora cooed at the sight of the farmboy." Oscar blush a bit in embarrassment.

"Why is he flying a biplane?" Ren asked.

"Tails?" He asked no one in confusion. His eye widen as he watch out Oscar's plan begans to pummel toward the ground. "Watch out! You're gonna crash! AHHH!" Oscar's plane crashs on the beach and Mercury facepalms groaning a bit. "Oh Tails. What am I gonna do with you?" Mercury curl into a ball again in a blink of an eyes rockets towards where Oscar had crash landed. He sees two legs poking out of the ground and grabs one, yanking the boy out of the sand and giving a closer look at Oscar. He was a fox, but a fox with two tails instead of one and he looked to be around 8.

Blake's stares a bit a Oscar's tails. "That's…. New. "

"Yeah a 8 year old flying a biplane is new right Blake?" Ruby said.

"I think she meant the fact the Oscars had two tails Ruby." Jaune replied.

Oscar blinks a few times and grins at the sight of his friend.

"Oh hey Sonic! Long Time no see huh?" He said casually.

"A child his age surviving a plane crash and only casually reacting to it. He must be very durable." Winter mused to herself.

"Hey Tails." Mercury greeted back, placing Oscar on his feet. "What happened there? You're too good of a pilot to make such a sloppy landing.

Oscar rubs his head. "That was a test run using a new prototype propulsion system. It's got a few bugs to iron out." Mercury raises an eyebrow. "Okay…... A Lot of bugs."

"No shit kid." Mercury snarks

" Why not just use my plane, the Tornado?"

"Thanks, but you gotta check out my newest power supply! Ta dahhh!" Oscar pulls a purple looking gem.

"WHOA! A Chaos Emerald!" Mercury looked it over in astosment.

"Oscar smiles a bit. "Yep! I just happened to find one of the 7 Emeralds during one of my test flights. This thing has unlimited powers, ya know... So I figured, why not use it to power my plane. Super charged! You gotta come over my workshop, Sonic! I've got something I've gotta show you! It's in the Mystic Ruins. The fastest way is by train. Let's go!"

The scene cuts to Mercury and Oscar running in a field when a voice stops them in their place.

"Ha ha ha ha! If it isn't !" Watts descended down in an egg shaped pod grinning maniacally. Oscar's tails stiffen in fear and he hides behind Mercury. Mercury however just looks at Watts with a grin.

Look! It's a giant talking egg!

Yang begins to laugh hard. "He does look like an egg!"

Salem didn't say anything but quietly laugh to herself, not seeing Ozpin catching her laugh with a bit of shock before quickly turning back to the show.

"Silence! I am , the greatest scientific genius in the world!" Watts growled

"Whatever you say, Eggman!" Mercury replied with a roll of his eyes and a dismal wave of his hand.

"Damn. Kid's got balls." Qrow said.

"Hell yeah I do. I'm always badass." Mercury boosted.

"Enough! I've got big plans and now I'm gonna put them to work!"

"You're always up to no good. Now what d'ya want?" Oscar piped up from behind Mercury. Watts glared at Oscar, causing the fox cub to to flinch and hide behind Mercury. Watts begins to rise higher in his pod.

"Awww. He scared little fox Oscar." Nora cooed again.

"I want all the Chaos Emeralds. Better not interfere! Or else!" Watts said looking down at the two.

"Or else what wimp?" Mercury taunted.

"Or else I'll take them from you by force... the hard way!" Watts goes behind the cliff and raise with his pod turning into a hornet like form.

It flies after the two firing missile that Mercury and Oscar dodge without any problems. Watts snarls as he attempts to ram into Mercury, the boy hopping over the machine, causing it to get stuck in the ground. Mercury land on his feet and curls into a ball, rocketing into Watts' machine knocking it loose from the ground. Watts flies around again firing more missiles at Mercury, But he plays hopscotch on each missile, About to reach the Egg hornet before Watts smiles as Mercury falls for his trap.

"Felt for it fool!" Watts cried and he powered the machine up for another ram attack. Before he made contact with Mercury's body, in a quick blur Oscar grabbed Mercury's hand and flew away from the attack, using his two tails as like helicopter blades to fly.

"Holy shit, he can fly?" Yang asked in surprised."

"Why the hell does he need a plane then?" Qrow asked being surprised as well.

Watts screamed in rage as he got stuck in the ground again. Mercury look up at Oscar and smiled.

"Nice job Tails now throw me so we can end this!"

Oscar smiled and threw Mercury as hard as he could. Mercury curls into a ball again and rams into Watts machine breaking it down. Oscar lands next to Mercury and they look over their work.

"Well, that wasn't so hard!" Mercury turned and ruffled Oscar's hair. Good work Tails!"

Watts fake being unconscious for a time and then let out a :Aha!" as giant claw came out of his machine and grabbed the chaos emerald Oscar's person. TThe two look in horror as Watts laughed himself silly. "Come on Chaos, time to eat!" The same creature Mercury fought last night appears and Watts give it the Chaos emerald, The creature name Chaos growing bigger. Watts look over the creature in glee. " Ooooh, yes! It's just as the stone tablets predicted. Ha ha ha ha ha! His strength increases every time I feed him a Chaos Emerald! With all 7 Emeralds in him, he'll be invincible! And work for me! Together, we'll destroy Station Square! And on its ruins, I will build Wattsland, the ultimate city! Where I will rule it all! Come on Chaos! Let's find another Emerald, shall we?" And with that Watts teleported away with Chaos." And with that, Watts and Chaos teleport away.

"So if he eats more of those gems he gets stronger? That doesn't sound good!"

Salem's interest in the creature was back and she was excited to see more of it.

The end!

.

See? This is the weakest I've done by myself.

[clarenecessities]

5/1/17

son i have just had the most delightful day of my got damn life. i know a daily clare post where i’m not just complaining about my life in unnecessary detail is unusual but honestly i just had a swell time

we had language class this morning & admittedly i did ask way too many questions and tell a girl she was pretty bc i have no filter when i’m tired (she is pretty, it was just a weird time to say it)  but i learned a whole bunch! sean has been good with like, maidin mhaith and such but most of it is in one ear and out the other (except conjugation, which is blessedly simple) but we have a new teacher up from teelin & she has us repeat stuff like, excessively. it’s actually pretty reassuring. icr what she was having us chant but at one point we were just going in like gregorian style.

only complaint about anna (the new teacher) is that her accent is different from sean’s so she says ‘dh’ as a [Ghy] instead of a [dJ] so simple shit like “god” and “second” is absolutely fucked. i’m hoping she’ll give us some leeway bc i learned from the Horslips if we’re being quite honest. she’s really adorable though--she taught us how to say we were tired (thank god; a sentence i can use) and she was like miming falling asleep. Ta.. tuirseach oram, i think? she didn’t spell it for us but sean said she’ll teach me on wednesday how to spell everything so i’m flying blind for a while.

we went up the cliffs to look at the napoleon-watch tower--it was pretty chill but the journey nearly killed me. between classes i went up to the store & got some deodorant and a popsicle-thing (it sucked, it was like unsweetened frozen orange juice) and the deodorant here is weird it’s all either spray on or roll-on liquid, so it feels like you’ve just put mosquito repellent on your armpits lmao. anyway yeah it was about four miles but it was a little too steep for a malnourished cripple such as myself to tackle on pepsi & popsicle alone. only fell once though, and saw a load of sheep. the girl who i inadvertently complimented taught me about flowers (i asked the name for harebell because i’d forgotten it, and then i was like “hey what’s this one! what’s this one) which made me feel better bc i’d been a bit worried i’d made her uncomfortable. she was singing a song from the last unicorn at one point & we ended up gushing about that for a bit.

up at the top, when we got to the tower, a small parade of our classmates attempted to scale the side & get up to the door (about ten feet) while our guide was distracted--he hadn’t told us not to do it, he just went back for stragglers and didn’t see. we were all sort of standing around speculating & saying it looked like reasonable holds but nobody really wanted to try after the hike, except, cue hunter, the oft-pseudo-offensive manchild i grow less fond of every day (yesterday he was saying sauron was the good guy & like while it was clearly to ‘troll’ people he was also saying some straight up fascist shit in his too-well-assembled arguments). anyway hunter got up onto the pile of rocks, reached the handholds, and immediately surrendered, saying he’d do it the day he could do two chinups. next up was ben, who was volunteered by a few of us because he’s tall and relatively strong--he also got his hands in the holds, but retired immediately on the basis of being too lazy to actually haul himself up. third was chris, who (if you ask me) saw it as a sort of challenge and just went through the effort to show off, which was what hunter was trying to do but couldn’t back up. frankly i’d have been more impressed if i wasn’t a bit leery of chris--he’s not said anything bad to me, he just has a very condescending vibe that i find Incredibly Irritating.

hmm but then we looked out over the cliffs, and our guide told us a story about a sea stack called “the devil’s dick” and we found our way back down about an hour after it was supposed to have taken. idt he was counting on so many of us being so slow, but he had about five of us lagging for various immutable reasons.

class was supposed to start up again at 7 but we’d only gotten down the mountain at about 6, so i decided to forgo the half hour line for the chipper & grab something from the shop (ultimately some pound cake, bc i’m so healthy). outside the shop, who should turn up, but the black cat i’ve been trying to impress for three days!! she was waiting outside the cafe for food (despite having already been fed) so she didn’t run away, but she wouldn’t let me pet her until ashley--one of the workers i met yesterday--came out to smoke, and sort of.. cat-vouched for me? the cat was wary but she clicked to it, and since she’s the one feeding it i think it trusts her opinion heheh. she advised me not to pet it since it was probably covered in fleas but i was like God Himself cannot stop me from petting this cat.

it was wonderful, she just laid down and rusted in the sun, and she looked so happy and peaceful. i hope this means she’ll let me pet her in the future bc i think i love her

she went off back to the shop after a while, so i headed back down the road for class & ran into kelly and matt waiting for their chipper food, and they were like “hey come hang” which i was thrilled to accept. kelly may be the only one who understands how incredible the cat situation was heheh. we decided to call her heather--kelly had been considering matilda but she’s saving that for her own black cat. chris came out the pub & joined us around then, and he and kelly have this sort of pseudo-aggressive banter going where like they’re both clearly not crazy about each other but neither is offended so much as annoyed, and they play it off like a comedic rivalry. it’s actually an interesting dynamic lmao--it’s like the ways that people cope with each other & the things we’ll do automatically you know? interesting.

ben and adrionna came up around then, i think they’d been in the pub too, and they were sweet as always. adrionna and i talked some more about the last unicorn, but were sidetracked by the arrival of: another cat. This one’s a tuxedo tom with crusty eyes and dandruff but he’s so sweet, he’s so good. he was clearly angling to get some of kelly and matt’s fish and chips, but i didn’t mind. we didn’t name him bc we weren’t sure if he was the one named tinkerbell or if it was the other black and white cat, who lives up by our cottages. 

we had to head back down bc class was supposed to start at seven, only come to find out it was seven thirty now, so we just sat out front and waited. the black and white cat who may or may not be named tinkerbell made a brief appearance, but took off down a sheep field before i could approach her. on the way down kelly and i went over our beeves w people, which is probably the oldest and fastest bonding method known to man--we agree on people for the most part, which isn’t too surprising given our mutual affinities for cats & communism

while we were sitting out front we were blessed by a visit from--get this--a fourth cat. at first i thought it was heather bc it’s also black with green eyes, but as it got nearer it was clearer it wasn’t. he’s a tom, older, bigger than her, with a square jaw and less rust in his coat but much more in his purr. we decided to call him gorse to keep up the theme. there’s some speculation that he’s heather’s father, as she’s still quite young, but i expect we’ll find out. if the crusty-eyed potential-tinkerbell isn’t in fact a tom, they may be the mother, and then heather and smaller-potential-tinkerbell would make good sense as their offspring. a black and white cat and a black cat birthing a black and white kitten and a black kitten? almost poetic, in a way.

evening class was awesome, not the least of which because i’d gotten to pet three cats by that point. we had a professor out from galway who’s co-writing a book with sean about joe heaney, and he’s an o’leary himself (well; an o laoire) so i kept joking he was my grandson (sean was the only one who laughed but it may have been pity). he talked for a long while about folklore and living traditions, and bealoideas and etymology and poetry--he recited the Planter’s Daughter, which i’d never heard before--it’s really good tbh. he also said at one point that folklore was sort of viewed as the domain of “slightly deranged maiden aunts” & i was like finally, a calling for me!

we learned the first few stanzas of a song--it was really nice because he took us through the lyrics talking first, instead of jumping right to singing like sean (yes we learn it faster, but we learn it wrong bc we don’t know what we’re saying). as i was looking over the lyrics i realized ONE of the words looked FAMILIAR--a gconra chlair. i was like hey,,,,, that can’t mean what i think it means can it, so i flipped it over and the translation was “coffin”.

heheh so i asked him about it and i was, in fact, right--it’s a coffin of boards. a wooden coffin, really, a poetic device, but there it is, folks--the etymological origin of my name put to practical use!

my first time seeing it in a sentence and it’s about a coffin. what’s better than that honestly

he also told me there’s a different pronunciation of “gconra” down in Cork (i had mentioned my people were from Cork (he laughed and said mine too--i told him they were the same people but tbqh i don’t think he heard me)), so whereas in Galway they’d say it like “groan-rah” in Cork it’d be “G-cone-ah”

so of course, me being the tremendous nerd i am, i asked him about cnudanai, which i happened o have written on the back of my notebook (see: tremendous nerd) and he taught me the cork pronunciation as a counter to sean’s donegal/connemara blend of “croo-dah-nai”. in Cork it’s “c‘noe-daw-nai” like the word canoe’s been truncated. good shit grandson. good shit.

mm and aftter that i just came on back up to the house! we got off at 9:30 so i’ve been slacking off since then tbh. i got a bit of planning done on the hike for my spooky fic, but i’ve not written it down yet. got weirdly sidetracked by fanart of inuyasha’s parents haha

but now it’s 1 am here so i’m out. pray for my muscles to heal miraculously in the night, please