#um. yeah that’s secco with my headcanons

[ask-unita-speciale]

L’unità Speciale…Going fishing! (For carne and notorious chase in the Tyrrhenian Sea)

(Version without text cause I think it’s neater without my shitty handwriting)

[inhumanetrash]

Prosciutto headcanons (especially about his gender & past) because I love my ham boy

-he is a trans man and medically transitioned right after joining passione (cioccolata is a skilled doctor okay). He has a fake ID (obviously)

- he used to be a famous model before he transitioned. Then one day he went missing (aka his girlboss schemes and manipulations in the industry as a model went too far and he had to hide from the police).

- he actually met Bruno and Risotto before joining passione. Only Ris knows it was him tho. And Bruno thinks Pro is weirdly familiar but doesn’t remember why.

- he was a stand user since birth and used it to his advantage during castings (aka mankind other people look worse in comparison to him)

- he refers to himself before coming out as she to separate himself from that life. Also speaks about his past self in third person.

- Pesci is his half brother and was the first one to know Pro is trans

- he has very expensive taste in everything since he grew up rich (becoming a high fashion model only made it worse)

- his dead name was also ham related

- he still follows the fashion world and loves ranting about it. Especially his old coworkers

- back when he was a model, he used his charm(yk yk)to get connections and power within the industry. He does that on missions sometimes too

- he’s still unsure about getting bottom surgery (thanks to Secco who borrowed him a tape to show him how it looks aka of him getting it done by Cioccolata without any anaesthesia and in a weirdly sexual way (I mean it’s secco and cioccolata so um,yeah))

[occasional-secco]

Your blog and art give me life, thank you for your service mod........ if I may ask, how do you think Secco and Cio met?

FIRST OF ALL,,,

THANK YOU!!! 🌼💖💕💞

also, I think about this question every day and every night and I have oh so so many hypotheses I barely remember them anymore-- BUT

but if we're going to talk about it, I think it's important to keep these things in mind:

1) it was said in canon that Secco is Cioccolata's ex-patient; 

2) LiTtLe Is KnOWn aBOUt sEcCos PasT;

3) near the end of the arc, secco said "um y'know what? maybe i don't overthrow the boss... maybe i'll stay babie... i'll be a good boy and boss will give me a reward because i am babie" (100% accurate quote ok trust my memory)

these three points tell us that they met at the hospital ok

BUT if secco was a patient, boss and the gang would find secco's medical history or something?? hospitals keep records of procedures and blood tests and so on, moreover, cioccolata is a surgeon and that's serious shit !

and from the third point it's clear that secco is clearly a babie and needs protection and someone to boss him around. + remember when cioccolata died and secco started bottom riot

"Y-YOU WAS SO RICH AND YOU PLAYED WITH ME AND AND AND UM I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE OK"

so 

1) smells like sugar daddying 👀 almost literaly--

2) PlAyEd WiTh ME i swear you don't need to know psychology to see that secco had complicated relationships with his dad :0 and cioccolata is probably so used to people praising him like "ooh youre only 14 but you're already volunteering uwu lucky lonely old people" "oh you're such a talented surgeon uwu" "wow so hot uwu uwu" that he just,,,, at some point just went "fuck it" and got himself a pet to praise and to depend on him

3) i saw a post about it somewhere, about how secco didn't say "i hAtE YOU nOw" he said "I DONT LovE You Anymore!" which implies there was love

whatever the hell that love was based on, it was there

soooooo mAYBE during some kind of operation, probably illegal, because gang couldn't find anything about who tf is secco, maybe his masochism switched on and he felt protected and fully at The Strong Doctors, who Makes People Beg Him In Tears's mercy,,,,

maybe secco was like

"AAAH AAAH YES DISSECT ME DADDY~! > ω < I'M ALL OURS!! W-WOOF WOOF!!"

and just as Cioccolata heard Secco's desperate moans, he felt the warmth fill up his chest

his COLD blACK HEART

THE MATCH MADE IN THE HOTTEST PIT OF HELL

common theory

BUT 

why would Cioccolata perform illegal operations on Secco? where did he find him?? hMm??

remains a mystery...

maybe he was homeless, ready to do anything for protection love and money?? maybe his parents (read: dad (bc daddy issues(i cant unsee it))) kicked him out for being gay?? is secco just dead??

"wdym dead" ok i don't really feel attached to this theory because its just a dumb 3 am thought but my friends said its cool

so the theory was that maybe secco is acctually cioccolatas dead patient and that's why he 

1) has underground stand 

2) is so obedient (re-brought up after death)

3) survived?? and doesn't mind pain??

4) aaand doesn't care about people's deaths ??

5) AND GREEN DAYS MOLD DOESN'T AFFECT HIM??

6) sugar is known to give energy and like... energy is ifey and uh ok this is a bad argument

7) secco meants dry in italian and corpses are dry

8) no documents 

i forgot the rest of arguments but that doesn't matter because this headcanon barely works

FIRST OF ALL when mold didn't affect bucciarati, secco was veeery surprised 

seccondly, that doesnt explain neither daddy issues nor pain or the plain fact of secco being able to feel love

thirdly, logic doesn't exist in jojo universe. yd araki make it so complicated and never tell about it or touch this topic in arc

so yeah out of all my midnight thoughts, i prefer to think that at some point during operation secco moaned and got a boner 

i mean,,, when bucciarati kicked him in the face, what did he do??? film his suffering. for ciocco to jerk off to. i love them.

the end 🌼 (for now)