#undertale tho is mostly just the first one the game is too small for any narrative decisions to be truly controversial i think

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

At this point like 40% of what i like about the owl house is just shit i made up in my head lmao

[mom0cat]

Ive had this au cooking in the back of my mind for a while and i wanna ramble about it

Undertale au, everything in game stays the same, but when they get to the surface theres just straight up more monsters

The idea is that the monster kingdom that got sealed away, the Dreemurr Kingdom, was only one and there were actually still monsters p much everywhere else on earth, tho the Dreemurr Kingdom was rather isolated from other monsters and only had contact with humans, so characters like Asgore, Toriel, and Gerson wouldnt actually know about the other monsters esp since this works under the assumption that catty and bratty werent exaggerating when they said itd been a millenia, putting the barrier formation in 1100 AD in my timeline

The Ebott barrier is considered myth by most by the time its broken, thus the reason nobody came and broke it despite monsters and mages being relatively common sights on the surface. Mt Ebott is a national park tho, despite the barrier being considered myth, its considered historically and culturally significant land. Similar to Yellowstone there is housing within the park, its mostly for employees, but theres a handful of non-employees living in the small park town as well.

The mountain gets its reputation not from park visitors going missing, but kids of park employees, so theres a decent amount of rangers stations (esp on paths up the mountain) thatre active long after closing hours, to make sure no dumb teens or drunk people get up the mountain unsupervised, but also to keep an especially close eye out for any local kids

The Ebott area still doesnt have many monsters or mages. The place gives off bad magic vibes bc of the barrier, which presumably took human souls to be as strong as it is. But theres a few living and working there.

Out of pure spite ive decided to make skeletons an incredibly average type of monster, they dont fall into like, top 5 most common monsters, but theyre also not uncommon, theyre just vibin (keeping the font names tho, theyre neat)

Underground monsters look significantly different from surface monsters! Some, like animal based monsters, arent changed too much, and non-humanoid monsters exist still, but 1000 years of intermingling monster and human blood means monsters tend to look a bit more human, and humans tend to be a bit more monster. Characters like grillby, the skeleton bros, undyne, muffet, will have more "animalistic" features than their canon looks, i want there to be a visible divide between surface monsters and underground monsters other than surface monster souls being different

Eventually ill get around to writing or drawing the first contact between underground ambassador Papyrus (and his assistant ambassador Frisk) and a group of rangers they meet on their way down the mountain, its eventful to say the least.

[luobingmeis]

I think Undyne's determination has less to do with like something that happened in the past and more like the overlap between determination as an actual physical thing VS a spiritual thing. Whereas the amalgamates were injected with determination by Alphys, Undyne makes her OWN. You've killed her best friend. You're going to kill the love of her life. You're going to kill her mentor. You're going to kill everyone. You've killed HER. But she still has to stop you. Everyone is counting on her 1/2

Undyne's whole motif is letting the monsters of the Underground achieve their hopes and dreams. Theres a reason she is the boss fight in Waterfall, the most backstory rich area in the game. Hope and dreams have just as much weight as determination does, its what helps you defeat Asriel. And Undyne the Undying's design mimics Asriel's because in Genocide SHE is the heroine, SHE is the determined hero that defies death in order to save everyone she loves via the hopes and dreams of everyone (2/2)

Sorry I just really fucking love Undyne Undertale fhfhfndkdk she willingly letting herself be used in an experiment to help her people is Very Good tho too hmmmm

!!!!

sorry ur abt to get a whole essay i love undertale so much.........

(also i use a lot of !!! for emphasis, not bc i’m yelling omg)

(also i’m letting you know this is an incoherent mess, it is 2am here akjsdkjsdjk)

but you can definitely be right!!!! tbh your idea seems much more par for the course than the spaghetti im throwing at the wall

even then, though, it’s stll so interesting bc like!!!! undyne’s courage is undeniable, and her fight to protect the underground plays Such a huge role in her whole waterfall arc. and, in the spiritual sense, she is absolutely determined!! that just makes me WONDER though bc, like, canonically, monsters Are Not determined! they don’t have that threshold!

and then, in looking at determination in the spiritual sense, what exactly makes undyne different? is it that her desire to live and protect the underground unlocks that threshold needed for determination? at one point, could monsters be determined, but then their millennia trapped underground biologically/psychologically stripped them of that? so then could any monster in the underground, when facing high enough stakes, have that determination? or is it just undyne?

bc then i think about the other bosses in either route, like papyrus, mettaton, asgore, sans. where undyne is the monster/boss capable of possessing determination, sans is probably the one least likely to have any threshold for determination (this is bc his entire boss fight is him realizing he can no longer be an observer, he is literally the last line of defense between chara and the annihilation of all monsters). mettaton is complicated bc as a napstablook turned corporeal, i dont even know where to BEGIN with him. but then there’s papyrus and!! it feels like he should be capable of feeling determined. in both the pacifist and genocide route, he is so assured that the human has some internal goodness. while, in the genocide route, that hope could be translated to fear, that still makes me wonder: under what circumstances could a monster’s determination be unlocked? is it not solely life or death? does it require some ulterior motives (aka undyne’s whole character being protecting the underground)? and like!!! it’s just so fun to think about bc, say it is undyne’s spiritual determination being unlocked, it’s so interesting that she’s the one differentiated!! that even papyrus, a character brimming with good and happiness and love, doesn’t have that determination, but undyne, who has a similar type of passion and goodness within her, does!!!

with experiment undyne, i will admit my theory is very much uhh wild! and unhinged! and, while my theory is much more playing in the “what if’s” of the science of artificial determination, it still makes me wonder! especially in the boss fight herself. ever since i first saw her genocide boss fight, i’ve always been a bit fixated on her eye, specifically the one w/ the eye-patch that eventually seems to have Some type of arrow power. while this definitely could have just been A Design Choice (and one i stand by!!), undertale is a game that reveals its complete lore when the pacifist and genocide route are put together. thus, in a hypothetical situation, i don’t think it would be out of the question that undyne’s eye could still Do that even in a pacifist route.

but even then, there are holes to poke! such as why doesn’t she use it? if undyne has been injected with artificial determination, why is she, frankly, normal until it’s a matter of life and death?

(to cut to the punchline before i get into my bullshit: i think it’s bc, at first, it seemed as if the artificial determination just Didn’t Work and had no affect, when in reality it needed to be met with spiritual determination as well)

and, again, i know i’m playing with a lot of hypotheticals right now, and mostly this is me just kinda fun bullshit theorizing, but i think it could have something to do with the fact that she has the threshold for spiritual determination! the reason i even think that she would offer herself up to determination experimentation is bc of the loyalty and love she has for asgore and the underground. i would argue that she is just as invested in asgore’s plan as asgore himself is, and she obviously sees him as some type of father-figure. so that alone gives her this Drive to do whatever it takes for the underground to survive.

so, therefore, i think in regards to this hypothetical experiment undyne, i think it quite literally is that spiritual determination threshold combined with artificial determination

and for that, i quickly want to talk abt the amalgamates and why they tie into this:

the timeline: corpses/souls injected with determination --> no reaction --> corpses wake up and act normal --> ??? happens  --> (quickly leads to) amalgamates

and so then that once again raises the question: what differentiates undyne? 

i think, for that, we then have to consider another question: if most monsters do not have the physical determination to continue living after death, can that determination be given when they’re already dead? monsters in general already have no threshold for determination, so can that be artificially made if it never existed in the first place? 

bc while alphys’s experiment, iirc, was to see what happened when a soul was injected with determination, i think the other much needed question is if monster souls could even Handle determination

and, while we do not know specifically what went wrong with the amalgamates (aka like How did they melt together), we do know that their physical forms really were not able to handle the artificial determination, imo most likely bc they do not even have a threshold for spiritual determination

but undyne is, as you have noted, different!

so, frankly, i think you’re right! i think undyne does have an inherent spiritual determination. it’s uncommon in monsters, but her want to save the world is enough to leave her determined

however, i think That would have just been enough to keep her alive

i think it’s artificial determination that gave her that final form! to reference  back to the amalgamates, they were all creatures whose powers we had seen before, but different now and, specifically, more powerful. that very same thing could be said for undyne! her powers are, essentially, things we have seen before, but fucking to Max Intensity 

AND THEN!! AND THEN!!!!!

when you do kill heroine undyne, she doesn’t turn to dust first

she melts first, and then turns to dust!!!!!

and, honestly, it’s that small detail that sent me down this rabbit hole, bc the only ever time we’ve seen monsters melted together are the amalgamates!

i think the main difference between heroine undyne and the amalgamates is the fact that undyne, at first, had No Reaction to the determination at first bc, since she most likely already had this secret threshold for spiritual determination, it wasn’t the Biggest of changes. it wouldn’t have had such a drastic reaction on her physical form bc, even if she didn’t know it yet, it wasn’t an entirely foreign substance

the amalgamates, however, aka monsters who had no spiritual determination, could only handle the artificial determination for an unknown amount of time before their bodies began rejecting the chemicals and becoming..... that

of course, then, this leaves me with even more questions, such as could undyne sustain this final form? would her body eventually give out, overcome by determination? was this form only meant for life or death situations?

and uhhh i think this is the end!! if you made it this far and are thinking to urself “damn you’re really an english major when you write like this?? this isn’t even comprehensible” do not fret!! i know this theory is kinda a shitshow, and it’s one of those things where i can keep myself up all night thinking abt this and talking myself in circles bc there are some points that i think have strengths and other points that are probably pretty weak

basically though!! i see the connection between artificial determination and undyne through the fact that her form actually changes, the reveal of her legit power eye, the way her attacks have been altered, and the fact that she melts at the end (akin to the amalgamates’ appearances) before poofing into dust

this has been,,,, a shitshow i am so sorry i hope this was at least somewhat understandable ajkdsjkdsjk

[drowningindango]

Fic Writer Review

I got tagged by @enquiringangel :3 Thanks! (putting the rest under a cut because it got kinda long)

1. How many fics on AO3?

Currently 18

2. Total AO3 wordcount?

77704 words

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Naruto, Borderlands, Undertale, Gloomverse, Teen Wolf… it’s a wide and wild spectrum. (not all of the works are published)

4. Top Five by Kudos?

Twice as Handsome

One Is The Loneliest Number

Just to Be by Your Side

Was it worth the wait?

For the rest of (y)our life

(I’m so proud a few of my naruto babies have managed to sneak up to the top :’3)

5. Do you respond to comments, why/why not?

YES. This is my favourite thing to do, I LOVE talking to people in the comments so much. I sometimes end up responding with more than the original comment, hahaha. Having conversations and hearing what people think gives me joy. I might sometimes not answer short comments when I can’t think of anything beyond “thanks” but I still silently appreciate them.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I mean, the strongest contender for this is a fic that’s not yet fully published but has its ending all planned out. “The Tragic Tale of Timothy Lawrence.” It’s my nastiest work overall too. Otherwise I like writing angst but not really angsty endings unless it’s poetic in some way.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Yeah, I do, and I can’t help it. It just happens. Although it’s mostly just putting characters from one franchise into another. Craziest…is a tough question. Depends how you define crazy, I always try to let it make sense. I guess my Borderlands x Edna’s Breakout fic qualifies here. A dead fandom crossed over with a small indie game whose fandom never really lived. xD

8. Have you received hate on a fic?

Nope. And please don’t jinx it.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes, unfortunately. (For all of you. xD) No idea if it’s good tho. I try my best.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

11. Ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

12. Ever co-written a fic before?

Yes 🙌 Worked a couple of times with my favourite egg in the world. I also wrote privately with other friends on fics and stories. It’s really nice if the chemistry is just right and you can pick up where the other left off when their energy runs out. :3

13. All time favorite ship?

*broken computer noises*

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….. I’ll just go with my current hyperfixation, if that’s okay. MadaObi

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

I have an unholy amount of open WIPs but I refuse to let any of them go.

The only one I have completely given up on is my old Undertale fic “What if…?” because I know for sure I will not touch that again. xD (…too much work, too much rewriting necessary)

There’s no such thing for me as a fic I “want” to finish but “never will”. If I actually want to finish something, then I will… one day. If not, then I never really wanted or cared enough to finish it. That’s how I’m wired. xD

15. What are your writing strengths?

Long internal monologues, emotions and descriptions. I like to think I make nice wordplays and sometimes may even be funny. xD

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Coming up with more plot than I need. (No, seriously, this is a plague.)

Also, dialogue.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages?

You mean like including spoken dialogue that’s in another language than the overall work? It’s neat. I’m not sure how well it works for reading, it’s much more suited for movies (and comics), since you really experience it there and the reward for knowing and understanding the language is much higher.

In a written work, however, you are often looking from the eyes of a narrator, most commonly a certain character. So either they would understand what is said or not. If the character understands it, it would make much more sense if the dialogue is written in a way that it is marked as a different language but still so that every reader can understand it. If the character does not know the language, then they will often not even be able to make out the full words anyway and it would not make much sense to write it out fully. But then again, writing it out fully doesn’t do any harm either beyond giving the knowledgeable reader a nice little treat and giving people the opportunity to translate it later, so as I said before: I don’t mind either way. I’m neutral on that. Whatever works best for the story you want to tell.

If the question means specific words and phrases that are well-known and characteristic for the fandom from the source material, then just yes. The reader understands and it will simply fit in right, unless it’s done in a weird over the top way. I don’t see an issue here.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

I’ve probably written some stuff as a kid, but I don’t remember. (I know I created a giant fix-it story for Naruto but I never wrote any of that down lol. I was more into drawing.) So, my first “official” fanwork was for Undertale.

19. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

This is an evil question. Overall, probably “One Is The Loneliest Number” (despite being far from finished) because it’s gonna be bittersweet when I get to the good stuff. It’s the most planned out and detailed fic I have and I have a lot of feelings about it.

My favourite from my naruto fics (since this is still a naruto blog :’D): It is not a single fic and more a string of little snippets so far, but I really love my ObiMito time travel AU.

Tagging: @aly-uchiha913 @princeofuchiha and whoever else wants to be tagged.

[shiro-0197]

Oh I see!! I'll make note of that, then! So I can wish you good luck for school <3 you'll be in a new grade when you start, right? and AAAAH thank you!! We will have online classes off and on, but when we actually go to school (physically) we will have exams right off the bat (ugh).

oh wow the coincidence is so cool!! Yes, the more food the better, tho some are coastal states so they have mostly seafood ._.

it really is, and you have to be very thorough with it or you might make a mistake :( I'm glad!! You should do what you enjoy, and freelancing is definitely much easier and less stressful xx

omigosh bae aaah you're so cute. No one is going to think you're uncool, don't worry. And I'm sure they'll get it in the first time you teach, you seem to be a very gentle person and I think that's one of the main characteristics of being a teacher. Tho yes I can understand getting frustrated after the second time. I'm actually the least patient person I know, so I relate to what you've said a lot skhdskks. I guess it's an ENTP thing 😔

I'd low-key just be a koala bear or something :> I know right!!

Icouldn't find it, ugshshshhhhh :(((

Awww. Okay, playful hitting is cute. I don't do it at all, but my friends do, whenever I flirt with them 😭😭 I think they're just flustered 😼

Oh God yes. I hate my braces but I'm glad they're coming out soon. And then I'll be able to eat anything I want. What is one food you don't think you'll be able to live without, btw? (BESIDES CHEESE, SIR).

oh Turkish delights are WONDERFUL. I've also only tried it once. Your school seems to have such wonderful food! And wow I just googled maklube, and it looks so good?? Rice and meat are low-key the perfect combo 😭😭💖 (and the name is so cute?? It means upside down, right?)

oooh omg I'd totally read an article like that. Make sure you add "catboy supremacy" at the end 😹😹😹

yessss I love She-Ra! They're all actually remakes from old TV shows my parents watched when they were younger, and now Netflix remakes them with amazing graphics!! I also love Voltron (it's actually my favourite), and I was really into it before my anime phase as well xD I hope you're able to watch them sometime! What were you into, before anime?

And oh, love! How was your day? Mine was okay. I woke up really early and studied (and kinda burnt myself out) so I slept for an hour after studying for five. And then I had another meeting, and I watched an episode of money heist xD this may be off topic, but my Leo club is collaborating with three others from different schools and we're doing a project together! It's kinda like a tutor thingy, and there's 8 tutors who'll have 1 and a half hour slots to teach their specific subjects. I'm a tutor too, and my subject's English, so I'm really excited. I hope I'll be able to teach well, so lol, fingers crossed xD

I love you btw!! Like so so so very much. You make me smile. Let me be cheesy here, BUT THANKS FOR BEING MY SNOWMATE 😼☃️

—✨ARIANA

Hello!! Not really, this is just a small break, hehe. I'm in the last grade actually, and I'll be out of school in 25th of May~ Awhh that sucks😭 They have no chill, huh? Couldve at least given a revision day or something

Ouch😔 it's always the small things that ruin it all😭

Yeah, you're right!!! Though I'm afraid I might not make enough money for a living 💔 I'll try my best though!! Cant live without failing eh?

Ahh I really hope so~ still kind of worried. Because, you know, people are different? And I dont really wanna make them think bad of me XD I wonder if theres tutoring on how to teach someone. Thatd be useful

Koalas are so cute though🥺🥺 just like you😭

Nanwndnnwnd💔😩 dont worry, I'm sure itll float up when you least expect it hehe

Heheh, I also flirt with my friends and I remember one time one of them just headbutted me😩😭😭😭😭

Hmm~ I dont even know, probably noodles. Extra spicy instant noodles<3 or homemade noodles. Any noodle is a fine noodle😭 I love them a lot, not as much as Kuro though. He's literally that vine where a guy cries over spilled spaghetti.

Yes yes yes!!!! We absolutely adore those, and if we dont have one during teatime some people just refuse to come along xD they're still forced to lmao,,, I really hope you can try them again soon!! I'm not really sure about the translation, I dont think it has one hehe, all I know is that they taste good 😝

I really feel like making a clickbait thumbnail for a video about that. I'll show you when I do😋

Ahhh I really need to catch up on old fandoms hehe~ before anime i was really into Steven Universe... and video games, like Undertale, FNaF, Sally Face, Fran Bow... all that 2015 stuff xD I also enjoyed watching gameplay videos, because as a broke baby child I couldn't afford a game or a PC. I also liked Camp Camp, hehe

Mine was pretty good!!! Yesterday nothing much happened, I went to eat out and watched some guys dance on the street. It was fun, hehe~

Huhh??? Noo you really should've rested:(( Well, I'm glad you had a nap though!! You deserve it<3

That sounds so cool!!! I really hope the meeting went well, how'd it go? Was it hard?

Our class also made a project, where we post in a group anonymously about something that we had learned. It sounds really nice, I'm not really gonna post anything but I'm looking forward to whatever my classmates come up with xD

I love you too!! Your messages always make me so happy🥺 Its really an honor to be your snowmate💞💕💞💕💞

[askullandbones]

Hi, thx so much... ugh, where do I start? I hope this doesnt seem too open or anything. Basically, Ive been having some problems with my best friend. Were both in 2nd-year uni and we go to school in diff cities. Weve been close since we started high school. And I love her, and shes usually my goto person to talk to or shoulder to cry on. But the thing is, shes much more social and Im not. She was my only friend in high school and while shes still closest with me she had others. (1/?)

Now in uni she still has tons of friends and I haven't really been able to make any. We havent rlly drifted apart but our convos are mostly limited to FB texts. Shes now rooming with another friend & I just have this crippling fear of being replaced. Bc it would be so much easier for her. And sometimes she does things that are sort of weird. I feel like im always shifting plans to suit her needs. She doesnt respond to half of what I text her. (2/3) (3 is the limit I promise, so sorry!)

Ive also begun a big Undertale fic and Im super excited about it, but even tho I've started posting it she doesnt seem to want to read it, she said she might someitme "if she has time" & "if shes bored." Which hurts. I tried to talk to her abt all this stuff last year, but she seems to have... forgotten. & I feel so bad & dont know how to deal with it, much as i ❤ her i dont always like the way she treats me. Its so hard to tell the line b/w actual worry and bein whiny. (3/4 sorry!!!!)

I know she has her own stuff going on and I try to be there for her but its so hard. Parts of me have stopped caring about her stuff as much as I should which I KNOW is awful of me as a friend, like when she told me the girl she loved didnt love her back, stuff like that, and I just dont know what to do. My loneliness has gone into hyperdrive basically, and its very confusing. Am I just being self pitying? Any advice would mean so so much to me. (4/4 I am SO SORRY for spamming you with this)

Wow this got long. Gonna put it under a cut.

Hey. Hey? First, deep breath. This might seem like the end of the world, but it isn’t. Trust me.

When you reach this point in your life your whole social dynamic is going to shift into what I’ll call ‘adult friends’. When you went to school it was super easy to make friends (or easier than it is now), because you were put in a small group of people your age and you were basically forced to interact. You might still have some of that in college, but it’s much less forced. The things that held you together with your peers isn’t really guaranteed as much to be there anymore.

First thing you need to tell yourself is that friends typically don’t get ‘replaced’ when you’re older. At least, not if you’ve stopped acting like a kid. Most of the time the friends you had in highschool are just gonna... drift apart. It happens all the time and it’s natural.

And while I can’t relate, I know a lot of people just have a large circle of friends they talk to about various things. Each friend has a different appeal. It’s not so much ‘replacing’ as it is ‘adding’.

Now I won’t speak for your friend, but from what you do mention about her not being flexible and not responding to texts, it could be a whole host of things. Maybe her schedule is just super rigid. Maybe she just forgets to respond to your texts, especially if she’s got about five different other people she’s talking to. Maybe she has nothing to say. Unfortunately these are things you’re probably going to have to talk to her about if they’re bothering you. Friendships thrive on communication.

As for her not getting into your fic... it might hurt? But try not to let it bother you.

When I was getting into Undertale and back on the writing bus I did the same thing with a friend of mine. While she’s always been supportive, she never really wanted to read it even if I asked what she thought, and after awhile I realized it just wasn’t something I could really engage with her back and forth with. She just didn’t know what to ask, didn’t really want to read a subject she knew very little about.

It hurt a little at first, but then I just realized she didn’t have the same interest in it as I did. I just sorta pushed it to the side when it came to talking to her even though it was such a big thing in my life. Instead of saying “I’m working on this Undertale fic omg you wouldn’t believe what--” I’d change how I worded what I wanted to say to be a little less restrictive. Instead I would say “I’m working on some writing and these characters are being--”

See the difference? The second is much more inclusive to someone who has no idea what the fuck Undertale is. They can still engage. I can’t force her to enjoy something I do just like she can’t force me to enjoy something she does.

And no, you are not being self-pitying. You’re worried about a friendship you cherish. You’re worried about how your friend treats you. You’re worried that things are coming between the two of you. You care enough about this friend that you don’t want to lose them, but that also means you’re going to have to work on it. You’re gonna have some awkward, intense moments coming up even if they’re scary.

You gotta be brave.

What you need to do is think. Think about your friendship. You mentioned that you think she treats you bad sometimes. Make a list of the things she does that make you feel bad. Can’t come up with an answer as to why she might do these things? Ask her. Bring it up. It’s scary, but if she values your friendship she’ll listen and you two can work things out.

But friendship is a two-way street. There are ways you can improve too. Find interests you share. Try not to feel bad when she doesn’t like the same things anymore, you’re both starting to grow up and get different interests.

Set boundaries and stick to them. You say you’re always shifting your plans and not the other way around. Stop. Put your foot down. Say no, you can’t shift these around. Don’t bend to her whims all the time. Set a hard line. She will work with you and bend her own plans too if your friendship is valued.

Most importantly though, as scary as it is, don’t be afraid that you two might just be drifting apart. A lot of friendships end after highschool and most of them aren’t because of fights. They’re just... from drifting apart. It might seem like you won’t find more friends, but you will.

I’ve been friends with the same girl since I was a teenager. She lives in Canada. I love her so, so much. When I got a divorce and she started college again we kinda just... didn’t talk much. We used to talk every single day but we didn’t anymore and that bothered the fuck out of me. I thought we were drifting apart, and in a way we kinda have.

She has a boyfriend she plays games with a lot, games that I don’t enjoy. I like to roleplay and write and play games that she doesn’t enjoy. She’s busy as fuck and I’m absolutely incompetent at conversations half the time. We don’t have all the same interests anymore and sometimes we go a full week without saying a word to each other, and we both realize things have changed a bit, but it hasn’t changed how we feel about one another. We still love each other a lot.

College is when you’re going to start to realize that, maybe, a lot of your friends you make are gonna be online. Chatrooms. Games. Writing. Roleplaying. They’re gonna scatter the globe. I have friends from Canada to the states to Indonesia and Germany. I visit the friends within an hour of me maybe... once or twice a month. That’s fine with me. It doesn’t bother me much. I talk to one friend I had in highschool maybe... once every... three months? I don’t hate them, I just don’t have much in common with them anymore. It happens.

But I should wrap this up.

Breathe. Take a nice, deep breathe. This isn’t the end of the world even if it’s scary and you wish you didn’t have to deal with it. You’ll survive even if the outcome is the worst thing you can imagine.

Friendships change over time.

Communicate your feelings.

Evaluate your own role in the relationship and if you need to make some changes too.

Set hard boundaries.

If you need more advice, I’m here.

[the-emophoenix-hoard]

all of the asks? I'm a dick :3

Omg okie

lol I’m assuming you’re the same anon that asked me for all the questions those other times

Im gonna put it under the cut 

The meaning behind my url: lol idek, one of my old college frens was hobovampire and I wanted to do something along those lines idk

A picture of me: It won’t let me add one but here http://the-emophoenix.tumblr.com/post/161402700146/i-was-tagged-by-spookyowlfren-idek-i-had-to

How many tattoos I have and what they are: I don’t have any yet

Last time I cried and why: Death of my favourite character in Lost

Piercings I have: Technically two ear piercings but they’ve closed up, I’m planning on getting them redone over the next few weeks

Favourite band: TOP, Linkin Park and Fall Out Boy

Biggest turn offs: idrk I’m ace asf but being a dick make me wanna be as far away from someone as possible

Top 5 (insert subject): you gonna need to give me a subject bruh

Tattoos I want:  I want an Undertale heart, the TOP skeleton keys and a watercolour owl

Biggest turn ons: again idrk, but just be nice to everyone and you’ll see people wanna spend more time with you

Age: 19

Ideas of a perfect date: idk bruh

Life goal: Just be happy and safe, and I wanna complete my comic too I need to actually start tho

Piercings I want: I wanna get gauges in both ears and maybe a cartilage piercing too

Relationship status: Single as a pringle my dude

Favourite movie: My inner nerd will always love Transformers and Avatar but Kingsman and p much any Ghibli are my faves

A fact about my life: ummmmm idk lol

Phobia: Falling lol, I’m okie with heights but I panic when I feel like I’m falling, like in planes when they cut the engines for a moment or big rollercoasters, I can’t stand those mental fairground rides

Middle name: Bruh I have 3

Height: around 5′6 I think

Are you a virgin?: Yeeeee boi

What’s your shoe size?: 6 or 7 UK size, depends on the brand

What’s your sexual orientation?: Def asexual but romantically  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?: I drink sometimes with the gang but never enough to be drunk

Someone you miss: my family mostly

What’s one thing you regret?: Leaving home without waking mum up when my stepdad told me to, he isn’t talking to me now because of it

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: Chris Hemsworth or Chris Pratt?? idk I love the marvel bois

Favourite ice cream?: Vanilla and mint choc chip ^w^

One insecurity: I’m worried I’ll never be able to live up to what others think I’m capable of, I’m worried others are gonna leave me too

What my last text message says: I’m proud of you 

Have you ever taken a picture naked?: Ew nah

Have you ever painted your room?: Yeee of course

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?: Nah

Have you ever slept naked?: bruh if you live in a country that normally wet and windy and normally around 15*C and for one week it shoots up to 36*C and you’re telling me you sleep in jammies for that week I wanna see proof

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror?: I don’t think so lol

Have you ever had a crush?: Nah

Have you ever been dumped?: No but I dumped someone else cringe

Have you ever stole money from a friend?: Hell no, why on earth would I steal from my buds?

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?: No stranger danger!!!!! I think I did once tho when my frens were with me and they knew them

Have you ever been in a fist fight?: I think when I was like 7??? I don’t remember but I was v anger child

Have you ever snuck out of your house?: Nah the old man would’ve caught me cos he’s a really light sleeper, I’ve had no reason to either, my parents house is tiny anyway

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?: Nope, I’m starting to see a theme with these, wow my life is boring

Have you ever been arrested?: Nah

Have you ever made out with a stranger?: Ew no

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?: sorta ech cringe

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?: Fuck no! I would’ve been kicked from here to next week

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbour?: Well because all of my neighbours have been creepy weirdos or people I still haven’t met yet since moving into college nahh

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?: Yeeee, We finished all our assignments and we had no reason to go to class anymore so we went to the park for an entire day

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?: Sleepovers with the gang of course but not like slept together 

Have you ever seen someone die?: No and I hope I never have to

Have you ever been on a plane?: yeyeyeye multiple times, mostly to see family in Sicily, but I’ve been to Greece and Pompeii too

Have you ever kissed a picture?: yeyeyeyeyeyey

Have you ever slept in until 3?: bruh p much every day

Have you ever love someone or miss someone right now?: I love my frens and family equally and I miss the ones I’ve left behind and the ones I can’t be with when we need

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?: yeyeye of course

Have you ever made a snow angel?: Dude snow is my fave

Have you ever played dress up?: Not for a long time lol

Have you ever cheated while playing a game?: Probably???? not for a v long time I think but I can be v competitive 

Have you ever been lonely?: All the time rip

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?: haha yees

Have you ever been to a club?: yeyeyeey it was good fun but its not really my thing

Have you ever felt an earthquake?: Well I slept through the two I was in when I was younger and some of my classmates swear they felt one when we were in Italy

Have you ever touched a snake?: Gimme the snek!!!

Have you ever ran a red light?: Nah I don’t drive yet

Have you ever been suspended from school?: Nope, I’ve never gone that far

Have you ever had detention?: Many times, and always for stupid things cos my school was way too strict, mostly for missing homework tbh

Have you ever been in a car accident?: Yeee, only a small one tho

Have you ever hated the way you look?: Yeeeeee, I feel way more confident in myself with short hair now

Have you ever witnessed a crime?: I don’t think so, If I have I probs didn’t know it was happening

Have you ever pole danced?: Nope

Have you ever been lost?: Mum driving down to London and many times since leaving home

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?: Well I’ve been to Land’s End and Norfolk, but I haven’t been further north than Snowdon, does that count???

Have you ever felt like dying?: Yeep and I came v close to actually doing it during my last month or so at home, my frens were the ones that kept me going, I made a promise

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?: yeee, Unfortunately

Have you ever sang karaoke?: yeee when Mamma mia came out and Abba was a thing again

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?: Yeeep

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?: Yep and its cos my lil brother did the exact same thing

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?: Nah 

Have you ever kissed in the rain?: Nope

Have you ever sang in the shower?: All the time yeyeye

Have you ever made out in a park?: No am virgin bruh plus ew cringe

Have you ever dream that you married someone?: I think maybe once after going to my cousins wedding

Have you ever glued your hand to something?: I superglued my hand to my shoe while trying to fix a hole in said shoe

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flagpole?: No but I dared a fren to and laughed

Have you ever gone to school partially naked?: No? are kids in America okie?

Have you ever been a cheerleader?: Nah, none of my schools have had big enough teams for that

Have you ever sat on a roof top?: Nah but it would be nice to watch the stars from the roof

Have you ever brush your teeth?: Well I’ve been on this planet for nearly 20 years, it would be kinda worrying if I hadn’t yet lol

Have you ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?: Alien, I haven’t been able to watch it all the way through, my mum scarred me lol

Have you ever played chicken?: I think for a school trip into Dartmoor to see who would jump off the highest rock into the gorge pools, I failed lol, I didn’t even want to climb up see Q18

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?: Yep, my swimming club were arseholes

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?: A few times but its mostly when dickheads say it to make me uncomfortable, yeee those guys

Have you ever broken a bone?: I think I fractured my thumb when I was smol and mum thought I fractured my back when I got knocked out for the first time

Have you ever been easily amused?: yee course, thats just me lol

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?: Everytime with @spookyowlfren and too many times with the gang

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?: probs when I was smol

Have you ever cheated on a test?: Nope, if I have it was never one that mattered

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?: fuck yes, thank good for name tags

Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?: yeyeeyeye and I love them to bits, its always a weird experience meeting with them IRL cos I’m so used to listening to them, its like meeting an old fren you haven’t seen in years even tho we talk every day

Have you ever give us one thing about you that no one knows.: Idrk… I’ve always been really honest with you guys

[cucumbersncheese]

20 Questions Tag Game Meme

 um!!! tagged by @butterfucks thank you!!!!!!

Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you would like to get to know better.

Name: i’m not giving my first name here more publicly unless i’m asked more privately, bcz of Reasons, so instead just call me cheese!!! As for middle and last names ha h a.... that’s a complicated issue, but basically; i have either 1 or 2 middle names, and 4 or 5 last names

Nicknames: i’m called mano frequently by the more close relatives, which is also a very common name for cats!! there’s also another one, but that’s more closely tied to my name.

Zodiac Sign: Cancer!!!! I’m a crab!!! 8th July!

Height: Its been a long time since I measured it, but considering that I’ve barely grown any taller in several years, its probably around 5′2″ or 5′4″ feet!

Orientation: i prefer portrait usually, as compared to landscape (its a complicated question, i really don’t have much of an idea, i just like who I like and think im probably on the ace spectrum somewhere, WHO KNOOWS, i’m not bothered by not knowing fully yet!!!)

Ethnicity: i’m pakistani, and my ethnicity is... Very mixed. my grandpa (mother’s dad) is kashmiri, grandma (mother’s mom)’s parents were punjabi i think, or at least her mom was; the indian punjabi i mean (there are two punjabs, one in pakistan and the other in india; at the time of great grandma, pakistan didnt exist), and idk about my father’s side at all so. yup!! mixed!

Favorite Fruit: a difficult question!!! but grapes! and mangoes!!!!

Favorite Season: WINTER; the summers here have temperatures ranging from 30 degree celsius to 40 degrees to 50; its a nightmare, its sweaty, it stinks, the air conditioning is expensive so a Lot Of Heat, also i cant hide in baggy airy and long clothes as much unless I want to look a) ridiculous or b)get dehydrated quickly, meaning Dysphoria Is Very Much Present. But in winter, there are sweaters and jackets and hoodies and long baggy airy clothes, while still not looking Too Weird so its great!!! and!!! Warm drinks!! Soup! I love soup!!

Favorite Book: its been a while since i read anything that wasnt a school book that i had to read, so i dont know!! i rlly like reading tho

Favorite Flower: I cant possibly pick!!! There are so many!!!!!! And theyre all so pretty!! plus my knowledge of flower names is woefully small!

Favorite Scent: the scent of new books, when it rains and the smell of wet earth is present, the smell of chicks, tomato soup, the scent of people i like

Favorite Color: Purple! The darker shades of it!! Dark Red, certain pinks, certain blues (some shades make me feel sick idk why), lotsa dark colors but also lotsa lighter colors!! this being said, i mostly prefer wearing black, red, white or brown! purple shades make me feel nice!!!!

Favorite Animal: listen listen, there are way too many animals and species and theyre all so amazing and awesome and cute, i can’t POSSIBLY choose,,, also i dont have much knowledge on animals as of yet so!!!!! would be unfair i think!!

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: anxie-TEA, pfffft ehehe okay but i used to prefer tea, but coffee especially with JUST the right amount of sugar so that there’s a swirl of bitter and sweet is just so g ood

Average Sleep Hours: 5 to 6 to 7 to 8, but 8 is increasingly rare; usually i sleep between 5 to 6 hours

Cat or dog person? I LOVE EM BOTH YOU CANT MAKE ME CHOOSE NOPE SORRY

Favorite Fictional Character: ohhhh boy okay okay, star butterfly, ayanami rei, soryu asuka langley, ikari shinji, the entire cast of undertale tbh, connie, amethyst, lapis lazuli, kylier, yggdra, rosary, neitzche, gulcasa and the twins from yggdra union, alissa from gungnir, too many i have too many favoritesss

Number of blankets you sleep with: one usually, 2 sometimes

Ideal trip: i dont know of many places, though i’d like a place with a lot of history and cultural significance... however even more than that, i’d kinda just want to go on a trip for the sole purpose of sleeping without a care in the wooorld

Blog Created: april 26th 2016, apparently! Though I was going through stuff, mostly fandom related, for a year before then i think

Number of Followers: it says 36 but i counted and its 26

tagging others, right... ahhhh, i feel too nervous while tagging other so anyone who want to do it!!! i tag them! thank you for the tagggg