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thank you for tagging me @wheeboo! 💕💘💓💖
quiz link: what color is your aura?
tagging (no pressure!): @ayatou @honeycafes @jeonsupershy @merrybaekmas @woozification @hongjoshuaz @mihgyu @facethesuns @goblinvern @wnjunhui + anyone else who would like to!
#this is so adorable!#yeah I’ve grown a lot in the sense of not caring what everyone else thinks of me!#unless it’s family or close friends!#you just can’t be happy trying to make a good impression on everyone!#i will say though#I def don’t blend into any group lol#rania🌹
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I will never forgive fandom how unfair it is about Arthur
Dark Merlin It's usually good angst. You know, Merlin had had enough. Dark Arthur? Arthur is a fucking rapist, a monster.
Merlin guilty? Merlin feeling guilty and comforted by the entire cast. Arthur guilty? Arthur doing the worst things possible and someone razing him to the ground
Merlin always gets these nice things. always flowers, courtship, everything. Found family? Everyone comforts Merlin because big bad Arthur. (literally almost every Merlin "found family" is everyone loves Merlin and treats Arthur like shit)
Merlin gets an apology. Arthur? My parents will love me faster than someone will apologize to Arthur in fanfiction.
"suicidal, self-harming Merlin" but Arthur has no right to have mental problems (a whole lot of people have wanted him dead since he was born)
Protectivr knights? Always about Merlin.
Even the fucking omegaverse. Alpha Merlin is a nice calm creature who pretends to be a beta. Alpha Arthur... wild animal, keep Merlin in a cage.
No. Just no.
(forever grateful to those stupid British people that arthur never told merlin he was fat. because the fandom understands that something is a comedy if merlin says it. if arthur it would be ,,abuse")
#Have I ever told you that I hate this fandom?#everyone loves Merlin is my 13th reason#like stfu.#did we watch the same show?#also no#Merlin was no cassanova#Arthur deserves Nice things#and he doesn't get them#GIVE HIM FLOWERS.#the fandom doesn't deserve Arthrur#Give him a family. Give him a caring boyfriend. give him friends who are loyal to him and not to Merlin#I swear that if I ever see someone take Leon away from Arthur#because everyone loves Merlin#I will enter my villain era#I swear I don't touch Merlin fanfiction. I physically can't look at it#THIS FANDOM SHOULD BE BANNED FROM WRITING MAGIC REVEL#Merlin gets everything. Arthur is given the opportunity to look after Fanon Merlin#how I hate Merlin fanon#like what happened to my iconic loser. why is he charlie spring with angeline jolie's face#fanon Merlin doesn't deserve Arthur. unless it's Arthur fanon. fanon Arthur is something I wouldn't get close to without pepper spray#forever Merlin fandom hater#arthur pendragon#merlin#merlin bbc#merthur#the once and future fandom#bbc merlin#like cmon
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hii idk why but the thought of fresh-faced professional scully being so scared she burst into her new extremely flirty but otherwise dismissive partner's motel room in nothing but a bathrobe and undergarments asking him to check her for strange markings before collapsing into him when he laughed at her and said they're just mosquito bites. do you think it killed her? just a bit? just enough that he was It that she realized she could never ever do this again with anyone else and now that she'd done this with him that was it? and lord help her if she ever did it again with him, nevermind anyone else. mortifying introduction. what a way to start out her new career with the fbi
anyways. just thinking about how scully wishes to be perceived and who she really is
#hello ferdie. you might recognize this#btw not that scully can't be vulnerable#she's had boyfriends before and she has friends and she's close with her family#but since then I have not seen this girl act like that unless it's with her mother#or under EXTREME duress#(mind you I only just started s4. literally on episode one as of today so)#her giggles and smiles and just general excitement in the pilot make me want to bawl my eyes out#like she went !! oh shit I do not want to be showing so much of myself off like this !! tone it down !!#and then she does NOT act that carefree again. at least not to that level#feel free to tell me if I'm wrong mind you but I stand by this characterization for now#does this make sense to anybody? I just have so many feelings over scully idk if any of it comes out coherently#she's just a girl living in a boy's world :/#dana scully#x-files#the x files#txf
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Watch me make a shrine for a character we have only seen in bubble speeches and flashbacks
Jeeves I don't know you but you seem the only stable person in this wicked household. Thank you for being in Damian's life, unlike certain man
#spy x family#sxf jeeves#give me his surname Endo I wanna know what will be my married last name#unless Melinda is first in line then good for her#we only have a somewhat profile picture years old and a front one with his eyes closed but he looks fineee#sxf chapter 93#yes I'm desperate. Look at the male market we have here#Malewife mc happily married. Siscon guy. Franky. Dominic taken. Old men. Scar SSS dude#and a girlfailure of spy who has only appeared twice. the second time in the background in one single panel#this is the Atacama and I am THIRSTY#thank god Endo compensates with many gorgeous women (out of my league)#oh I almost forgot the teacher with eye patch. that guy was nice. BUT STILL#sxf spoilers#everyday I wake up and thank God for giving Damian some good people who cares like Jeeves and his friends
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Are your future bad kids like. Living in one house together or is the friendship more casual wrt to work and stuff?
oh absolutely not they mostly have their own spaces! fabian is flying around in the seacaster mansion, adaine has an apartment around the area riz's detective office is, kristen is still based in elmville so she can keep an eye out for her siblings. fig gorgug and riz technically share a house but fig moves between like five different addresses whenever she feels like it and riz spends about equal time at his offices and at everyone's places. the thing is I don't think the adventurer circles are that big? and when you grow up with that you eventually keep running into the same people. and also the bad kids still definitely spend every single holiday together regardless of what any of them individually has going on
#not art#I think like. once 4/6 of you are in the same family tree by choice ''casual friendship'' is kinda out the window lmao#like these people are ride or die regardless of their level of daily interaction. the nature of adulthood is unless you live in#the same house you may go days or weeks without seeing each others just because you're all busy. but you're each others' summonable#it helps that theyre all like close to top of their fields already in canon lmao#so much of being a grown up is actually just like. oh my friend is really good at this I'll ask them. oh my friend who's good at this would#LOVE to get in on this. the world is full of brands of kettle chips started by some guys on the same couch#I think the thing is just friendship is often nice and comforting to experience yknow? like doing things together is fun talking is fun#alien ass sentence lmao but its true. and like. idk I don't see the bad kids not enjoying each others' company any time soon#honestly I fully see them in their 40s posting coupon qr codes in the group chat like ''you guys wouldnt fucking BELIEVE the deal Im gettin#you wish you were me. bitch. anyone wants kale''
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regardless of the "learn how to be alone" dravel, being lonely actually is really bad for your mental health and can be very painful :p
#i've been doing so so bad#and i've had breakdowns frequently this past week#and i dont have friends or family or a partner or even a therapist lmao#so im alone and thus only feeling worse and worse#my mom has been in an unusual bad mood lately so i havent been able to talk to her at all#but today she asked me to go to her to the store bc she wanted me to buy smth#and on the way we watched the snails and she found them cute (she has never appreciated snails before)#and now i instantly feel a bit better and a bit more normal after only 15 min of hanging out with her#it's so easy for ppl who have family or friends or a partner to judge and criticize me#but like.... u have ppl close to u and u know nothing abt what it feels like to be in my position#it's so condescending and lacking of compassion#i dont understand your pov either but at least im not TELLING YOU directly how much i judge you#like ppl judge me so hard for feeling miserable in my loneliness... but it's easy for u to say those things#like u dont feel my despairing loneliness bc u have a fkn partner. u have fkn friends. or a fkn family. easy for u to judge me from up ther#anyway im much better at being alone than most ppl bc im still alive and im enduring the pain every day#other ppl have ppl around them 💀 only others who are all alone can understand how much it hurts#and it wont be fixed by loving yourself or loving to be alone or whatever other bs they use to criticize u ._.#being alone IS harmful to your health. there are studies on it and im not just making that shit up#i AM allowed to feel pain bc i dont have anyone#ugh esp ppl w partners who can receive physical and romantic attention.... when they judge me.....#stfu forever u have no idea how i feel 💀 and u could never know simply by having had a partner at all...#but yeah. it bothers me too bc i NEVER see someone on here and go#damn i hate this sm i gotta let them know by sending them anons or vague post abt them#like i dont get up in their faces and tell them all my judgemental or bitter or hateful thoughts abt them#even this post is only bc other ppl have taken the liberty to without my consent or having asked tell me directly how pathetic i am#how im not allowed to feel alone. how i have a victim mentality so on and so forth#i never tell other ppl things like that. even if i think them (which honestly i rarely do unless they're extremely toxic TO other ppl) i wo#say shit abt it to them.... ??? like why?#when i sometimes see like ppl have friends on here or talk abt their partners i can feel bitter and jealous#bc im surrounded by seeing things i so deeply crave but im not a humanbeing worth of those things
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Interaction status word emojis!
Left to right:
Do not interact unless important
Do not interact unless interacted with
Do not interact unless gentle
Do not interact unless mutual
Do not interact unless I do
Do not interact unless queer platonic partner
Do not interact unless partner/parent
Do not interact unless close
Do not interact unless friend/family
Interact with extreme caution
Interact with caution
Anyone can interact
Do not disturb
Ok to interact
Do not interact
#discord emoji#discord emote#custom emoji#custom emote#word emoji#word emote#wordmoji#do not interact unless important#do not interact unless interacted with#do not interact unless gentle#do not interact unless mutual#do not interact unless I do#do not interact unless queer platonic partner#do not interact unless partner/parent#do not interact unless close#do not interact unless friend/family#interact with extreme caution#interact with caution#anyone can interact#do not disturb#ok to interact#do not interact#dni#iwc#iwec#dniuid#oti#dniuc#dniuf
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𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐈𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐀?
terracotta
canyons, woven rugs, bandanas, pottery pieces, matchsticks, cattails, broken nails. your essence is terracotta: you are a building storm, autonomous and resolute. you build your walls strong; no one can see your vulnerabilities, not when you keep them within your rich internal life. you are disciplined and devoted to your friends, but rarely show them weakness in return. you are the guardian. you are the wolfdog. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of tawny, garnet, red, and brown, who share your strong resolve. you are also drawn to the open-minded souls mauve and honey, who will help you grow and show you that it is alright to be emotionally attached. however, you may struggle to get along with the withdrawn personalities of jade and chiffon who are self-doubting.
tagged by: @nxthingmxtters (thank you!! ♡)
tagging: @kingzde4d, @bonesmade, @question-marked, @eriidanus, @clawkyle, @locktarget and any moots who want to do this!!
#˗ˏˋ ༄ ──── 𝐃𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 〳 ❪ helluva party ❫#did dr. matthews make this test or something?? THE HELL 😭😭#too accurate it's not funny EKEKK#but yeah#louise is TERRIFIED of being vulnerable in front of other people unless it's a close friend/family member/love interest#hence why she's paranoid and will always betray the moment there's a slither of mistrust which in her personal experience leads to—#abandonment#which i can't blame them for because she's fucked up and weird and awful!!
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Yeah in another life feyd and paul are married and fucking but also in another life they’re on caladan both of them painfully aware that they have NOTHING in common but still trying to pass the time and have some sort of fun for the sake of their dads as both abulurd and leto were created with the sole purpose of getting on my personal nerves
#weird way to say I’ve made up my mind about abulurd 🥰#dune#uhhhh idk man jokes aside abulurd and leto could be pretty good friends I think#also jessica and emmi aurrrrrrr#that would be funny#they’re probably not fucking in that au (at that point at least 👁👁👁)#and about emmi it was said that she doesn’t speak unless she has something to say#i imagine Jessica trying to get along with her for the sake of leto#so she’s like *voice* YOU WILL MAKE CONVERSATION WITH ME#feyd and paul are so awkward around each other cause like#they’re not close enough to poke fun at and roast each other platonically yet#so they’re just making small talk#and just nod and smile a typical white person smile#while they’re aware of every second that passes#meanwhile abulurd and leto are doing everything!!!!#they’re fishing they’re swimming they’re hiking they’re talking about their home worlds#they’re making jokes#and when they try to take paul and feyd on their adventures something always happens and one of them ends up almost dead#Paul almost falls off a cliff and feyd almost drowns once eg#by the end of their stay the Atreides family is invited on lankiveil 💖💖💖
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tag vent
#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
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A bit strange feeling of living in Lithuania while looking like... Lithuania
#fun fact my voice is also close to ht Lithuania UNLESS I am very pissed off#then my voice drastically becomes super low#and when I'm singing too#and in everyday life I have this 🌸✨️🌸✨️🌸✨️ aura around me while 99% of time I am thinking about killing stupid and cruel people#and i have giant eyebags and super slim figure because of the fucked up mental health due to ruzzian invasion...#thinking about my family's village which is famous for having “vikings heritage��#my great grandfather wanted to excavate a local landmark: a stone grave with an ancient cross.#he and his friends found a giant warrior there#with a huge sword#they got so scared that they just covered it all up and ran away#I WANT TO EXCAVATE IT AGAIN SO MUCHHHH#i am 99% sure that warrior was Baltic like come on what would Nordic vikings do in the swamps of Northern Ukraine#my village is honestly such a strange place... it's pagan#it has some Baltic and Asian heritage since like Golden Horde times#swamps and forests are such a well preserving place whatever the hell was going on there thousands of years ago still lives now#it's the jungles with scary people#it has some nasty history of incest too... and Christian sect...#it's a godforsaken place with NOTHING there except for the ancient graveyard and a couple of houses but FOR SOME REASON random people still#go to live there. and they die there. like why#u stoopid go get a job
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Since Theo and Zap live together in Cemetery Mary, are they found siblings? I'm just curious can I feed off of these two I love all of your games btw!! ^^
Thank you!!
I personally wouldn't describe the relationship they have as siblings, especially since they were designed with the intention for players to wonder if they were dating haha. If you like found-sibling tropes I'd sooner direct someone to Crowscare, or Pogo & Yoyo in Semiaquatic Circus! But I don't think that's the kind of relationship Theo and Zapara have ^^"
#i actually went on a mini-rant kinda about this on my crowven stream? but again not everyone was there for that!#and this is in no means trying to make you feel bad whatsoever!#but i have always felt like the wide range of relationships people can have to each other is so interesting and unique#and i really like characters that have close and interesting friendships#so whenever people 'water it down' to 'oh they're like siblings!' i feel kinda slanted face emoji?#and there's nothing wrong if you like that kind of trope or dynamic at all!!#i just personally would like to portray all kinds of different relationships#and i also dont like that sometimes it feels like people can't enjoy friendships unless it ends up as something romantic or familial#and i myself am a sucker for romance and thats not a secret!!#but the label of 'friends' on its own can be just as loving and fun!!#sorry for going on a second mini-rant; again these are just my feelings!!#theo#theodore#zapara#cemetery mary#ask
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i wish i was normal w affection and intimacy like i do crave it now and then but it also feels so alien, uncomfy and sometimes scary
#n like ive hooked up plenty times but it just doesn’t feel right it feels so unnatural and im just in my head and super aware#or not aware at all#i just feel v disconnected#but i crave hugging and kissing and sex bc it’s gen felt like so long since i last was affectionate w someone#ik it’s defo trauma related i mean ive always been uncomfy with touch and hugging#unless i absolutely trust someone n find them attractive#but even then it comes and goes cos 1 min im okay w it n love being spooned etc next im completely repulsed and don’t want anyone near me#i also just worry abt making other ppl uncomfortable / not being good enough lollll idk#i can’t hug friends or family it makes me so uncomfy#i can only hug ppl im into#n ive forced myself but i hate having to force it bc i feel broken#n when ive hooked up w ppl i don’t know it’s just not right like ive had good sex but im just not fully there and anxious#n ive hooked up w close friends where i felt safe and trusted but even tht made me feel hyper aware and repulsed sometimes#but also initiating affection just doesn’t come natural to me like ive big spooned n stuff bc i have to compromise but i don’t feel anythin#n tht makes me feel like a bad person bc i just dunno how to be human w tht stuff lol#journal
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Sometimes I worry that I might actually be faking the whole not a lot of gender except a sprinkle of guy on top thing, and then i am aggressively gendered as a cis woman in day-to-day life and remember why i don't go out much.
#it's nothing new#i'm USED to it#it's just annoying#people are nice to me and all of that and i like going out and talking to people#but realizing that they perceive me as a woman and interact through that lens and say things about feminity and such and i'm like#no i do not know what makes a hat feminine or masculine. it is a hat#unless it is Very Clearly one way or the other i Do Not See It#no i can't quite tell if my own personal style is one or the other. i'm not really either and i like being a blob.#Yes i know how to dress well and prettily that makes me look very good#but for some reason i dislike it being complimented on by other people than my partner my close friends and my family#because when it's other people it tends to be 'oh you're dressing so feminine today it looks so good on you!' and thanks but#that's. not part of why i'm dressing like this today i just wanted to look hot#idk#is it weird ?#is it overthinking ?#it probably is#something something stop gendering me
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You are allowed to think what you like, obviously, but since you said that you weren't following the full coverage on it i just wanted to let you know that there were only five people (plus the pilot) on board the "submarine" and they were all billionaire business men.
okay ty! yah like i said it wasn't an informed opinion on the situation, just an inarticulate reflection on the current state of my dash haha. mainly it's just a generalised personal discomfort with media coverage of tragedies lol. obvs billionaires are inherently unethical and don't need defending so it's not even rly about them tbh. intended as more of a personal post than serious commentary yk (honestly i assumed there were some kinda employees on board along with them sjdjgjf - i'm uninformed mostly on purpose lol, i feel uncomfortable looking for details. but thanks for clarifying + not being rude dw i hear you)
#i forget how many active followers i have tbh haha#not to tmi and i don't wanna talk abt it more but a friend of mine died alone in a hiking accident on the other side of the world last week#and within hours of her being found i had a fucking news reporter messaging me on facebook asking to comment for their 'tribute' to her#so im Sensitive abt it sjdkfjg#as a general rule im not rly comfortable w paying close attention to news of unexpected deaths unless they're like. public political figures#i saw an arcticle on my dash about like. the family of one of the ppl involved w ppl joking abt their perceived reactions and i just can't#personally get on board with it 😭 i just think ppl have the right to mourn privately even if they're evil#it's abt the mourning thing specifically tbh#this is also the. Third time i've had journalists get nosy abt an untimely death of a friend/relative#i just can't vibe w morbid curiousity abt recent/ongoing accidents tbh (even tho i know it's a pretty natural thing to do)#anyway this is once again a personal post not trying to get into discourse over this pls (ur fine anon this doesnt count)
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because i know you have food opinions and i am thinking about it being in the carolinas this weekend. opinions on barbecuing?
my personal taste preference leans towards a dry rub on the meat and a vinegar based sauce. i like the way the acid pairs with the fattiness of the meat. but i also think the meat itself should taste really good on its own. i don't like when the meat comes pre-sauced when it's served, i prefer to dose sauce out myself, cause i want to be able to taste the meat on its own too. and because i think pre-saucing everything up front might be a way to try and hide what might be a bland or dry or otherwise not preferred piece of meat. i'm not a huge fan of the thick, sweet sauces that are based on molasses or tomato. i tend to find them too sweet and gloopy, and i generally avoid store/chain brand bbq sauces for that reason, but i won't outright turn up a house made sauce without trying it first. i think pork is my favorite meat for barbecue because it's got good flavor and lots of fat to stay juicy, yet it's not so strongly flavored that strong spice or sauce covers it up. though i prefer a cut like shoulder to ribs. beef brisket is good barbecued, i think that's a texas specialty, but i've had some really dry smoked brisket before, and also i'm very partial to brisket prepared other ways like braised or cured into pastrami. and as far as chicken goes, it CAN be quite good, but for me it's gotta be dark meat and it's gotta be cooked competently. i've had too much "barbecue" chicken that is either just plain roasted chicken drowned in mediocre sauce or overcooked so badly it's like chewing on linen fibers. but a nice, simple, salt cured/brined and dry rubbed chicken leg quarter smoked and served with a good sauce on the side? now that's a great dinner. gimme some cornbread and fried okra to go with. yummy
#leporellian#sasha answers#ty#i'm by no means whatsoever a connoisseur of barbecue but i do know what i like#a lot of times what's just called 'barbecue' disappoints me but a lot of the time mediocre barbecue in like. cheap food service/catering#contexts is just like. unremarkable overcooked shredded pork or chicken (that probably wasn't actually smoked)#and drowned in gloopy store bought sauce#i mean it's EDIBLE. but i'll only go for it if it's the only real option. y'know#note: i am not from the south and i do not live in a region with a strong barbecue cuisine culture. my response is based on this experience#i'm sure walking into your average bbq joint in carolina is probably gonna be better than what i can find here unless i'm actively searchin#also again i'm no expert but i think my bbq preferences line up really closely with eastern north carolina style#(dry rubbed pork w a thin vinegary sauce)#i don't think i've had the south carolina style which i think is more mustardy. but it sounds good i would probably like it. i like mustard#also i don't know if this can be really considered barbecue or if it's just plain hot smoking. but smoke grilled sausage is good too#and turkey. smoked turkey is great (when it's not overcooked and dry as hell)#years ago my dad and i went to a family friend's place for thanksgiving when my sister and mom were out of town#and they smoked a turkey for dinner. SOO good omg
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