#unrelated to ren and nana but more and more i think takumi was such a great character

[to-star-lake]

ok guys, hear me out.

so i recently re-read Nana which was (and still is) one of my favorite series of all time. and since then i've been feeling the nostalgia (and PAIN) i've been finding kindred souls who are also holding out hope that yazawa ai will pick it back up at some point.

BUT in my journey of reconnecting with the series and characters, ive read a lot of things about nana and ren's relationship and i can't not weigh in. (nobody asked but here goes XD)

don't get me wrong, there are a LOT of things both of them could've done better in their relationship, and many people say that when ren left to join Trapnest that was the fatal turning point for them, but tbh i think their relationship was doomed from the beginning.

nana said herself when she first saw ren play the night they met; she felt something more like envy/jealousy than love. she always admired ren and idealized him, perhaps more than she loved him.

as a result (paired with nana's very painful history of being abandoned by her mother), ren was more of a savior in her eyes than a boyfriend.

he taught her to play guitar, encouraged her to sing and express herself, and gave her a home. and because she always looked up to him, she couldn't help but feel anxious and inferior in some way when she was with him. i don't think she ever thought she was good enough for him and unwittingly created a relationship that was more about competition (and proving herself) than love.

for ren; similarly to nana, he had a very painful past of being abandoned by his parents and grew up on the streets by himself. perhaps he saw in nana a kindred spirit, and wanted to take care of her (in his final moments, he literally mistook a stray cat for nana); he took her in.

throughout the series, we see him hoping for a family that is with him always, for nana to want to be with him of her own volition, and to have children with him. (but he knew that wasn't what nana wanted, and he struggled throughout their relationship after their reconciliation with this fact).

from nana's perspective, i think ren leaving was so much more than a betrayal of her band, and a boyfriend leaving her: i think when he left, it made her feel not only abandoned, but like he was throwing it in her face that she wasn't good enough (he went to join a better band, in a bigger city, with a more talented female singer).

and it made it worse for her that even after their reconciliation, ren continued to choose Trapnest over her (leaving her behind when the tabloids were publicizing gossip that would only harm her reputation, refusing to help nana out of pent up frustration and jealousy when shin was arrested, in the end prioritizing reira over her).

but when ren joined Trapnest, i think that he found in them an even greater family bond than what he had with Blast. back in his hometown, while he loved the Blast members, it isn't the same as when he joined Trapnest. with Blast, it was all a bit of fun, almost child's play for ren, but he could've accepted that as long as he and nana were happy.

when he joined Trapnest, i think that was when he started to feel the true weight of camaraderie; of having a group of people with a bond stronger than friends or colleagues; they were soldiers together (ren had literally referred to the employees of cookie music working with Trapnest as takumi's soldiers). here, there was a profound kind of devotion and mission that gave him a greater sense of purpose in life, so i can understand why he would make choices that placed Trapnest above nana.

again, this is not to say that at any given moment in the series, nana and ren couldn't have made better decisions or said or done something different. but i think due to the fact that nana's feelings towards ren were always that of an admiration kind of love (rooted in jealousy and feelings of inferiority) instead of pure, unconditional love (which is not her fault, because no one ever really taught her how to love unconditionally). and that ren was destined to discover and devote himself to something bigger than himself (and nana). and the fact that both of them were so young but the stakes were too high; their relationship was doomed from the beginning.

[komatsunana]

The NANA Ladies & Jobs

Morning everyone. Just days since the last day of (official) NANA Week, I just had my first NANA dream that wasn’t about NANA coming off hiatus.  Actually this meta post is completely unrelated to that dream, but I thought I’d mention (lol)

Through the series we see the three main girls struggle with their relationships - romantic, friendly, etc - and work. Usually we talk more about their love lives, but when you think about it NANA really is just as much a series about their jobs.

Hachi’s probably the closest to the current young adult experience, as she struggles to maintain a job.  She really admires characters like Nana, wishing she had the same sort of passion for... anything.  She doesn’t though, so for the first quarter of the series is spent with her trying out a variety of jobs - many of  which she does enjoy but not the way Nana does with singing, or the way any of her friends do for their careers.  It’s incredibly likely  that Hachi finds her calling in motherhood - a very valid job that isn’t valued as the job that it really is.  However, she does mention in the future some things which might allude to her having a job still, which really begs the question of what she’s doing.  Takumi, in theory, should be making enough money for the family even if he no longer makes money from Trapnest or Reira’s voice.  So what secondary job captured Hachi’s interest? :o

Meanwhile, we’ve got Nana who we follow through the upward momentum of her musical career.  We see her as a woman single-mindedly working as many jobs as possible in order to complete her dream.  We watch her make sacrifices for her career - first in breaking up with Ren in order to create music on her own term, then in sacrificing her pride in order to use the media attention about her relationship with Ren, and make sacrifices to her relationship with people in her life for her career - such as asking Ren in order to sub for Shin.  Nana has such one-track mind for following her dream, she ends up giving up huge pieces of herself in order to obtain it and she finds herself... unsatisfied.  She’s doing exactly what she wants to be doing and she isn’t happy. She might be even be more unhappy than ever, especially when combining Ren’s death into the equation.  In esscence it’s... “Nana...how come being happy and making your dreams come true are two different things? Even now, I still don't know why...”

And then we’ve got Reira - Reira who has everything Nana really wants and yet has an entirely different problem.  Because whatever things Reira loses out on as a result of being part of Trapnest isn’t because of sacrifices she made but choices that Takumi made for her.  Instead, Reira finds herself with the problem of... Does she have any value outside of her voice?  Outside of her career?  Maybe, in the end, that really is why Reira turns to romantic relationships (no matter how unhealthy) just trying to find herself some meaning.  And then Yasu breaks up with Reira so Reira can follow a career singing without asking her what she wanted to do.  Reira continued to crave Takumi, a man who based his entire career trajectory around her and her voice - a trajectory that she wasn’t even entirely aware of where his plans for her went.  And then Shin - Shin who she was forced to break up with for her career.  Every romantic relationship she had only double-downed on how her voice was the most important aspect about her.  And then Reira got the chance to use her voice and the choice not to sing to give Ren a chance to go to rehab and recover, even if she had to act like a brat to do it, and it was because she made that choice that Ren followed her and Ren died.  It’s not her fault, but damn if she wouldn’t feel like it is.

Writing this honestly made me wonder about the generational dynamics in Japan because these 3 women would be considered Gen-X/Millennial cusp but they really do tell the story of many struggling young adult generation right now.  The struggle to find a job that you feel passionate for.  The struggle to make sacrifices in the rest of your life if you want to follow your dreams (and still you might and probably will fail, everyone in your life reminds you).  The struggle to have a personal life that isn’t centered around your job even if you really do enjoy your job.

Idk, it’s interesting!! Anyone else have thoughts? (・◇・)