#until last night when my body dropped ALL subtlety and introduced me to what may be the worst pain ive ever known

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

its four days til the conference and i threw my back out completely. the pain is dizzying. OH NO.

this IS my fault. I DID ignore the prof saying "this stage of the project involves lifting something very heavy so have AT LEAST one other student help you when you need to lift"

I instead decided, for some idiotic reason, to solo deadlift the sucker (a gallon bucket of adobe plaster) myself.

onto a table.

that was almost my height.

...so anyway yeah I'm STUPID

[salemsoul]

Not who we expected to see in Emberlain

I have been obsessed with the Gentleman Bastard sequence by Scott Lynch since I read it so I wrote this to help quell my hunger for more. To those of you who haven’t read this series and who want a fantasy series that is raw and different i HIGHLY recommend this series, it is so good! Also, this contains spoilers for the third book The Republic of Thieves.

It had been three months since Locke had last seen Sabetha. Their last moments twisted in the sheets together, both of their bodies slick with each other's sweat played on his mind consistently. That final kiss. That last smile. The way she softly giggled as she buried her head in his neck before they fell asleep. The thought of all of it made him absolutely miserable, much to Jean's continuous displeasure.

Locke had been a self-deprecating pain in the ass this past few months much more than he had ever been in the years before Sabetha's reappearance in Kathain. That last glimpse of hope at a life he could have with her, and then her disappearing again had been the last nail in his heart he could take before turning into the husk he was now.

"Jean. I just. I still can't get over it. Am I that much of a bastard that she took the first chance to run?"

That night they left Sabetha's empty house, Locke had said he had vowed to respect Sabetha's decisions, even if he didn't quite understand them, but obviously that hadn't extended to not complain incessantly their entire journey to Emberlain. Many times Jean contemplated if hitting his friend on the back of the head with one of the Wicked Sisters and ending his misery would be a good decision.

"Locke, we've been through this. Patience obviously didn't give her much of a choice. You know how much she loves you, and she wouldn't have just left unless there was no other way, now shut up and eat your soup." Jean said, gesturing to the pitiful bowl of liquid that was almost as depressing as Locke's attitude. "I'm sorry. I know I go on about it, I just thought that finally things were going my way, Gods was I wrong." Jean didn't answer him this time and instead tried to loose himself in the noise of the busy tavern around them. They had been staying here in Emberlain for a little over a month now and this Tavern is where they were finally able to rest after being on the road for so long. They had heard whisperings of the aftermath of what happened in Kathain and were grateful to have gotten out when they did. The only thing they have to thank Patience for.

Locke didn't speak any more about Sabetha and instead opted to stare down at his soup and sigh loudly an unnatural amount of times. A few nights Jean had dropped a sleeping tonic into Locke's drink just so he could get a decent night's sleep. Tonight might be one of those nights.

Despite the piss-poor food and watered down alcohol the tavern was packed every night with regulars Jean had gotten to know while he was avoiding Locke's depressing aura, and seeing if he could get any intel on a possible target for their next scam. Even if that was the furthest thing from Locke's mind. Someone had to think about how they were going to afford to live after the hastily depleting sums of money they currently have are gone. Most of which had gone down Locke's throat. He was going to have to cut him off. A new patron walked in from the cold, covered head to toe in a dark cloak. From the glimpse Jean could see of the clothes underneath, rich silks and heavy velvets, they must be wealthy. Finally, a possible target. And they had walked straight into their laps. The patron perched at the bar and began to converse with the owner. Jean studied them for a few more moments and stood up.

"I think I've found exactly who we've been waiting for," Jean whispered to Locke, "You stay here. I'll go scope them out." Locke merely nodded disinterested and Jean left him there. "Let me introduce myself, Tavrin Callas at your service." Jean said, capturing the attention of the patron in the cloak. They turned their head and Jean saw the hint of a smile that turned his blood to water.

"It's been a long while old friend." Jean didn't know what to say. It felt like his tongue had been ripped out of his mouth. They reached up and took the cloak from their head, uncovering long wavy hair. Though it was now a muted brown, there was no doubt about it. Sabetha. Jean felt his mouth drop in surprise and she let out a soft giggle. "It’s a relief to see you again." Jean looked nervously over in Locke's decision. Fortunately he was facing away from them.

"Sabetha. I really don't know what to say. But I am so happy to see you too."

"How about you start by saying what you came over here to say Tavrin. How may you help me? How are you going to trick me out of a pretty penny I wonder?"

"I don't think I'd get away with it with you," Jean smiled, still trying to process that Sabetha was once again in their lives.

"Where's Locke? I know where one is the other can't be that far away." Sabetha said, casting her gaze around the tavern.

"Do you think it’s a good idea seeing him right now? He's a little… Fragile."

"I came here to see you both, and see you both is what I am going to do."

"Fine," Jean shrugged, guiding her to their table, "But stay a few steps behind. I have to ease him into it."

Locke was exactly where Jean left him, completely oblivious to the shit storm that was about to come on top of him. Apparently sitting up had become too much for him, and he had his head on the table staring vacantly out of the window a few meters away. The bowl of soup, half eaten and cold to his left. "Locke, there is someone here who wants to see you." Jean said softly waking Locke from his trance. In response he immediately sat up, adopting a more professional gait and turned. Sabetha left little time for subtlety and quickly parked herself right next to Locke before wrapping her cloak around herself. Jean could see that Locke had taken this worse than him. He could see his mind buffering in shock. He looked to Jean then to Sabetha then back to Jean in shock. A tear slide down his cheek.

"Sabetha," he whispered in disbelief and then pulled her into a hug, something Sabetha was not expecting and froze. Jean took slight satisfaction that it was her turn to be shocked tonight. "Sabetha, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Please believe I love you for much more than just your hair. It means nothing to me in the scope of you entirely." Locke continued to babble until Sabetha stopped him with a finger on his lip.

"I don't care about any of that now, I am just happy to have found you again," she said, pulling away from his grasp, "are you done with this soup, can I eat it? I'm starved." Locke nodded and she pulled the bowl towards herself.

"So, are you going to tell us what happened, why you left?" Jean said, finally sitting back into his place opposite Locke.

"Not right now. Not the right place, and I don't want to think about it right now. I just want to enjoy my two favourite people's company." She left little room to argue her and the two men had little choice but to comply and changed the topic. Jean couldn't shake that her turning up here must be more than a simple coincidence, but couldn't think of why. Locke also offered her some of his drink, which is a lot more than he ever had offered Jean in this past months, but she shrugged it off politely and finished the soup. Mid-conversation Sabetha pulled a strange face and then swallowed slowly. She had turned pale.

"Excuse me boys, I'll be back in a minute." And she got up and headed towards the lavatories at the back of the Tavern. Locke was gazing at her as she went as if she was going to disappear with the next breeze.

"She's back, Jean. She's back." Locke was speaking as if he couldn't quite believe what he himself was saying.

"I know. And I want to be happy and excited, but something seems off about her. She feels a bit suspicious."

"Don’t be ridiculous. She's here and that’s all that matters now." Locke said, taking a long drink from his cup. Jean saw Sabetha approach long before she noticed him staring. A person brushed past her and she put her hand protectively over her belly before glaring back at them. A key, a crown, a child. Oh shit. Jean tried to hide his realisation as everything started adding up and quickly averted his gaze from her. Locke noticed Jeans movement and looked behind himself to see Sabetha a few steps away and smiled as she sat down again. Jean again noted that she pulled her cloak around her body again. An obvious attempt at trying to hide what little bump she had. Sabetha glared at him, and he looked away again. Locke was wholly oblivious. Sabetha's presence was the only thing he noticed now.

"Where are you staying?" Locke asked, breaking the tension.

"About two streets over in a tavern called The Lonely Pumpkin. It's not much to look at but it's cosy."

"Why are you here in Emberlain? Isn't it dangerous for you with your history?"

"Yes. But I followed you two here. I've disguised myself as much as I can, I just have to be cautious and not go near any of the rich neighbourhoods." Sabetha answered, playing with the ends of her now brown hair.

"Sabetha, let me buy you some of your own food and some more drinks. Come to the bar with me. Locke, look after the table." Locke began to protest, but sighed before promptly beginning to sulk.

When they were far enough away to be out of Locke's earshot, Jean pounced on her. "When are you going to tell him? It's his isn't it?" Sabetha looked taken aback and she paled further before looking down to the ground.

"Yes it is. I just don't know how to. I don't want to ruin his life."

"It would ruin his life not telling him about it. Were you going to disappear again and give it away? Surely you followed us to Emberlain of all places, so that you could tell him."

"Yes. Yes I did, but when I saw him, all the words left me. How did you figure it out?"

"Sometimes you forget that we grew up together and I know you very well. I also have the fortune of not being blindly in love with you, so I can tell when you're acting weird."

“I’m sorry, I should have told you both straight away. I shouldn’t have left in the first place and then I wouldn’t be in this situation anyway. I’m such an idiot.”

“If I know anything, it’s that you are the last person in this world who would be considered an idiot. Just tell him. Go and do it now. Go up to mine and Locke’s room for a bit of privacy and tell him. Please.”

Sabetha looked away and stared at Locke on the other side of the tavern and picked at a nail nervously. “Fine. I’ll do it now, but actually order me some food, I’m so hungry.” Jean laughed and nodded as Sabetha strode straight towards Locke.

“Hey,” Sabetha said, stopping at the end of the table.

“Hi,” Locke said, gazing at her in the way that always makes her heart swell. “Where’s Jean?”

“Still ordering me some food, can we go up to your room?”

“Um, ok, but won't Jean-"

“Don’t worry about Jean, just let's go.” Locke was taken aback at her impatience, but he wanted some privacy with her as much as she seemed to want it with him. Locke led her upstairs and locked the door behind them before turning around and caressing her cheek. “I’ve missed you,” he said, wasting no time in locking their lips together. Sabetha welcomed it, before she seemed to remember herself and pulled away.

“I have to tell you something.” Locke's eyebrows pushed together in confusion while she led him to the nearest bed. Once they were both seated, she took his hands in hers, breathed in and spoke. “Before I tell you, I want to make it clear how sorry I am that this happened and that I am really scared. This is only going to bring us trouble and I can’t see a way out.” Locke said nothing, so staring straight into his eyes she moved one of his clasped hands to rest on her belly and continued. “We have a child, in my belly. And I’m scared.”

Locke paled. A key, a crown, a child. No. This couldn’t be happening. If patience was right, they were going to loose they’re child because of some prophecy, about him, and how was he going to tell her. “How? I thought you took a tonic?”

Sabetha looked away, a face riddled with guilt. "After our last time, I was meaning to take it, I promise I was. But when Patience turned up and I had to go, I was so wrapped up in running, I completely forgot. I didn’t realise until it was too late. I am so sorry Locke, I know this only adds to everything we’re dealing with right now.”

Locke said nothing, nodding absently, trapped by his own thoughts, and walked out of the room.

Jean was sat at the table sipping a warm drink when he saw Locke storm past. Sabetha was not far behind him, and seeing him go out of the front door of the Tavern instead decided to follow him no further and sat at the table with Jean.

“Arrrghhh.” Sabetha put her head in her hands. “That went terribly.” Jean took another sip of his warm drink. “He hates me now. I know I shouldn’t have come and found you two.” “I’m sure he just needs to let it sink in.” Jean pushed a plate of food towards her. “Eat something. And think nothing of that miserable bastard.” Sabetha angrily snatched the plate and started to shuffle food into her mouth at an alarming speed. Jean raised his eyebrows but made no further comment, taking another sip from his cup.

A few minutes passed and Locke stormed back through the tavern door, earning a few stares from innocent tavern goers. He walked straight up to the table and slammed a hand down in front of Sabetha who was mid-mouthful. "Come upstairs with me. We have to talk."

Sabetha swallowed before gingerly standing up and following Locke back upstairs leaving Jean staring back at them, but with no intent to move. Once back upstairs, Locke again locked the door and sat Sabetha on the bed.

"Before you say anything, I know I had a shitty reaction just then and I deserve to have my balls slammed in the door, but you can do that later just let me explain." Sabetha just stared at him and he began to pace in front of her. "It wasn't because of the news. Well not exactly. I am thrilled Sabetha. I really am. The thought of having a baby with you fills me with a joy I never thought I would experience, but I have to tell you something as you have a right to know. "After you left, Patience woke me up to taunt me about you leaving, and she pissed me off but she told me one thing that returned to me, and scares me now with what is happening. She said that before I die, I will gain and loose three things. A key, a crown, and a child. And I told myself that it was all horsepiss but I can't shake it now one seems to be happening. I want to be happy, but I don’t want you to suffer because of some prophecy about me."

Locke was kneeling in front of Sabetha now and she finally spoke up. "I don't care what Patience said Locke. As you said, she was taunting you. It means nothing. Even if, the God's forbid she was correct, that is not going to change what has happened. As of this moment, we are going to be parents whether we like it or not, for as long as we are. So let's enjoy it while it lasts. Let's give this child the life we never had while we have the time. If what she said was true, then so be it, but I'm not going to sit and cry because of what some vengeful old lady said might happen. So are you with me or not."

Locke's eyes burnt with tears and he stood up, pulling Sabetha with him, coming to rest with his forehead touching hers. "Always." Locke then went back to kneeling in front of Sabetha, laying a kiss on her small stomach. "Little one, I will kiss you the moment you come out and love you almost as much as I love your mother, and while I can't do that, I'm going to go and kiss her instead." He said rising and once again capturing Sabetha's lips with his. Giggling, the two backed towards the bed.

Jean took his extended amount of alone time as a good sign, and a welcome reprieve with dealing with Locke's shit, so ordered himself another drink as he was sure he was going to be down here alone for a while.