#using tumblr as a personal blog like god intended

[katsy-kitty]

holy shit I just did so much cleaning

I know my body will hate me tomorrow

I'll probably have to do heavy resting for the next few days

but I'm also proud of myself

but I have also entered my verbose era

and I don't know how to stop

it's 3:30 am and I'm still so hyper

if I don't fall asleep again, it's gonna be a bit of a problem

I don't like these insomnia bouts

[qaanngi]

Shoutout to the same 5 ppl or so who reblog my art 🥺❤️❤️❤️ you guys are the regulars, the real ones, and I love ya 🙏🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️

[euniexenoblade]

If you're here about people calling me intersexist or what ever:

The tl;dr it's bullshit, spun by a bunch of transmisogynists who tried to kick up a harassment campaign against me, but most people saw through it as the bullshit it is.

But, anyways.

It started off with this post, where while high I made a dumb post about how a group of tme trans people who still align in some way with womanhood had been calling themselves "afab trans women," which is incredibly transmisogynistic because 1) afab people saying they identify as trans women implies that trans women are not women and 2) "afab trans women" is a concept terfs made up in the 2010s to mock trans women. The point was never about intersex people specifically, it was about people not understanding that "trans woman" is a specific term with specific meanings, and by them trying to use it it implies they see trans women as transmisogynistic concepts and not as a type of woman.

Whether you agree with me, whatever, I don't fucking care. Just block me and go away. But, the blogger status-quo-hater found my post and went on a rant. When I first saw it I had intended to ignore it, but I checked out its blog and found it interacting with someone who has previously intentionally misgendered me and I just decided I didn't need that shit - so I blocked it. Naturally it noticed cuz it was refreshing my blog every second waiting for a reply, and when it found I blocked it, it once again went on a weird rant about me hating intersex people and deleting comments (at the time, the only comment I deleted implied I was a man) from intersex people trying to "calmly" explain things to me (nope, i hadn't even had that many comments yet).

This launched into a bunch of people suddenly reblogging it's addition and saying some weird fucking shit. Insults, misgendering comments, I even got a couple of weird Christian comments ("may god have mercy on their soul" die). So I started using the ability to hide reblogs on my OP of these people and blocking them, and as it kept going it just go too hard to keep track of and decided that, fuck it! If these are the people status-quo-hater attracts, I'll block everyone that reblogs it's additions. And, I tried to do that but again, it got way too difficult, so getting tired of being misgendered and insulted, I turned the reblogs off.

Since then my inbox exploded with suicide bait, hatemail, dumb shit trying to bait me into saying dumb shit (examples), and my posts started getting spammed with comments that 1) were harassing me. no they were not "calm explanations," they were aggressive harassment that at times misgendered me (not all but enough) or 2) a series of people were spamming my posts, one person posting the same comment ten times, which was fucking annoying. So I was deleting comments by this point, and as I went I just started deleting any comment saying negative shit cuz, again, these people run in the same groups and the most "calm dialogue" doesn't look like such when you're being harassed by a bunch of dumbasses.

Tumblr user dabwax left some fucked up comment on my post. I deleted it and blocked her. So she made a post where she intentionally misgendered me. After someone informed her she was misgendering me, she acknowledged it but blamed it on me (for blocking her, she had been on my blog to screencap me) and refused to edit the post to reflect my correct pronouns. Genderstarbucks added onto her post and subsequently took part in misgendering me - a person I never blocked and never had an excuse to misgender me. The difference between genderstackbucks and dabwax though, is that genderstarbucks at least changed the incorrect pronouns after being told (even though the post still took part in me getting harassed). Then, status-quo-hate, a person who's bio literally says

Proceeds to reblog posts calling me "they" instead of my stated pronouns of "it."

I'm not going to keep this up, it's fucking tiring. Instead, I'm going to say that these people are transmisogynistic. This is clearly a disagreement over terminology and at most should have just been us blocking each other, instead both status-quo-hater and dabwax intentionally lied about me, misgendered me, and did everything they could to motivate people to harass me (especially dabwax).

At the end of the day, this is a mostly failed transmisogynistic hate campaign. And, really the only reason it failed is cuz other trans women stepped in to help take the heat off of me (and cuz I started to ignore them).

To close this out, here's a collection of hatemail I received:

So yeah. Fuck off.

[oc-tournaments]

This is a blog dedicated to running OC tournaments! A new theme will be decided every time, decided by the followers. The first theme will be chosen by me, and is as follows:

GOD'S FAVOURITE PUNCHING BAG!

Note: Does not need to actually be a God! "God" refers to you, their creator, who enjoys putting them in situations.

To submit an OC, please read the rules below carefully before submitting!

I will be accepting fandom OCs and personal story OCS! However, for personal reasons I will not be accepting Harry Potter/Wizarding World, Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss or Homestuck OCs. This rule is firm and will not change.

You must submit a description of your OC and why they're God's favourite punching bag for them to be eligible!

The size of the bracket will be determined by the amount of submissions we receive.

No real people/canon characters can be submitted.

Be civil! ANY hostility towards other people or their OCs will result in being blocked and banned from interacting with any tournaments. This blog is not intended to breed hatred, but to showcase people's OCs and to generate new likings towards them!

You may submit up to three OCs, but only one per form! You will have to name your Tumblr blog to submit an OC, but you can request not to be named in the polls.

Self propaganda is allowed and encouraged, but hate propaganda towards other people's OCs is not allowed under any circumstances.

Your character must have some sort of reference image. Picrews and other dollmakers are allowed, but faceclaims are not.

The closing date for submissions is May 30th!! Please reblog and share to any friends who may be interested in submitting an OC <3

And please bear in mind this is my first tournament blog, so be kind in any criticism you may have of how I run things.

Fill in the form below to submit!

NOTICE: SUBMISSIONS ARE CLOSED! TOURNAMENT PREPARATIONS ARE UNDERWAY!!

Relevant blogs tagged for reach under cut! So sorry if you didn't want to be tagged, don't feel pressured to reblog <33

@tournament-announcer @variouspolltournaments @sekaicards @the-most-design-of-all-time @autism-rizz-tournament @ocquestionaday

[softpine]

can i just word vomit for a min...

there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.

but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.

on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!

frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞

to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.

but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌

(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)

[bogkeep]

HAIZ EXPLAINS AMATONORMATIVITY: REDUX

it's 2014. a teenager rummages through the newspaper at breakfast. they're looking for comic strips, but instead see the headline of the sports pages, proclaiming some famous sports guy is "NOT INTERESTED IN RELATIONSHIPS RIGHT NOW."

"really?" thinks the young haiz, "that's meant to be news? the sports news??"

it's not like they'd ever read the sports pages before, but the scandal in that headline would not leave their brain zeitgeist of the day. it was a metaphorical pebble thrown at them — not the first, but the one that made them go "HEY. STOP THAT???" so they took to the keyboard to yell into the void to hey, stop that.

then the void responded.

what i wrote that day was probably one of the first posts about amatonormativity to make rounds on tumblr. i did not expect it to get thousands of notes, and it's no longer on my blog. even though the majority of the response to it was positive, i wouldn't want to bring it back, because

- it was written in a very 2014 way

- with very 2014 thoughts

- some people were really cruel to me for writing it

- i still can't read it without wincing

but:

i can write a new one.

this is not an argument about who is or isn't oppressed. that is not an argument i'm interested in entertaining, and it's not what this post is about. human life on earth is incredibly diverse and complex and i'm just here to-

OH MY GOD WHAT IS AMATONORMATIVITY ALREADY

okay so amatonormativity is like. the idea that A Lasting, Monogamous & Exclusive Romantic Relationship is the most important type of relationship in the entire world and the thing we should all strive for in our lives. (insert obligatory "the term was coined by professor elizabeth brake in the book minimizing marriage" here.)

it's not exclusively an "omg it's so hard to be aro :(" thing, because it's like, an all-encompassing Narrative foisted upon us that shapes the way we view and talk about relationships, and it does everyone a disservice (as is the case with all Normativities! we want to break 'em ALL down!! for everyone!!!!!!). nor is it intended to make people feel bad for wanting long-lasting monogamous romantic relationships! that's your personal business and i wish you well!

(it IS kind of hard to be aro in a world that constantly argues that you're lacking The Most Important Experience That Makes You Human And Life Worth Living though. not gonna lie.)

- an easy example is how the word Love is, in a Lot of instances, for a Lot of people, basically synonymous with Red Hearts Kissy Kissy Smooch Smooch. like we ALL KNOW love is more than that, we love friends and family and strangers who were nice to us that one time and our pets and our favourite foods and our favourite shows. you kind of have to clarify when you mean Love in any other way than Romantic Love. which is wild, considering how Love is such a vast emotion that covers a lot of ground, and it keeps zeroing in on this specific kind.

- related to that, i have a whole internalised powerpoint presentation about how, if you put all of your relationships with other people in a pie chart, the Romantic Partner slice is likely to be very small compared to the Family slice and Friend slice and Acquaintance slice and all these other connections you have - yet it has, comparatively, a LOT of publicity and framework that some of the other categories find themself lacking. yes, a romantic partner/s is/are someone you're likely to share a lot of time and life with, so it makes some sense for sure - but not everyone has romantic partners, or the same priorities as far as commitment goes.

- the stigmatisation of being single/unpartnered. i get the impression that a lot of people have stayed in unsatisfactory relationships because it sounds better than the Dreadful, Terrible Alternative of Not Being In A Relationship. i think there has been a lot of pushback against this particular mindset in recent years, always flaring up around valentine's day for some reason - but it still feels like it's expected to be a Temporary State, not something you'd choose or prefer.

- romance as a Humanising Component in storytelling. say you've got some sort of non-human character, such as a Robot or a Beast. what is the easiest way for them to gain Personhood in the eyes of the audience? probably by falling in love, because falling in love is the Most Human Thing There Is. i think this also extends to queer stories in a similar way - a queer romance may win over a non-queer audience in a way other queer narratives may not, an "oh they're just like us" moment, if you will. these aren't bad stories to have, and queer romances are important stories to tell! it's just... tinged with a taste of "very well.... if it's TRUE LOVE... i can find it in me to extend some compassion......."

(and! on the flipside! an easy way to dehumanise an antagonist is to be like "AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN FEEL LOVE THEY JUST HAD NO HEART THEY WERE SO INHUMAN ")

(speaking of stories you know when a series ends and they partner up all the remaining single characters in a hurry or in the epilogue because god forbid they dON'T GET PARTNERS)

- you know how the reason for legalizing same-sex marriage wasn't because marriage is THE ULTIMATE EXPRESSION TRUE LOVE, but because it comes with a lot of legal rights such as tax benefits and hospital visitation rights? and uhhhhh isn't it kind of weird that marriage is the One thing that gives u a lot of those rights and it's 1) still presented as The Ultimate Expression Of True Love And The End Goal Of Life rather than a legal contract, and 2) not available to everyone? I THINK IT'S KIND OF WEIRD.

- polyamorous relationships are also stigmatised & there's a lot of work to do when it comes to marriage & parental rights for polyamorous couples. i'm sure one could write an entire list on this topic from a polyam/relationship anarchy angle.

- the stigma against sex In General is rooted in so many things, and i believe that a huge part of breaking down amatonormativity is to destigmatize casual sex, sexual relationships that aren't romantic, sex work + sex worker rights & everything in this category. thinking about sex as a thing you can/should only do with the love of your life after you're married hasn't served us very well, i think.

- the idea that our entire life is building up to The One Important Relationship is garbage. we have a lot of relationships in our lives, many of them temporary, and all of them matter to us in some way. you are not a half looking for another half to complete you - even the most compatible person on the earth is still going to be a human person who is flawed and ever changing.

- ok so there's a thing that happens when people want to prove a gay couple is Actually Dating and not Just Gal Pals and it's like "WOULD FRIENDS EVER DO THIS???" referring to some kind of intimate moment - and it's like, i get what you're trying to prove, but... some friends Would Do That, Actually. there is no act on earth wholly exclusive to romantic relationships. i subscribe to the idea that everyone gets to decide how they define their relationships, and what boundaries they have for each kind. maybe they WILL kiss their homies on the lips. with tongue.

- queerplatonic relationships: not only did we have to create a term for a Kind of committed relationship that isn't a romantic one, but we have to fight the deluge of "but that's just dating!!!!!" and "that's just having a best friend!!!!" - the thing is, it CAN be those things if you choose to, or it can be A Secret Third Thing. the way i see it, a queerplatonic relationship is just a Framework you can apply to a relationship that's like, There, but doesn't seem to fully fit into existing categories. because the human experience is vast and weird! i think it's unfair and kinda normative to reduce it to "dating, but for aros" - an Oddly Intimate Connection That Is Hard To Categorize can befall anyone, and as i presented in my pie chart theory, we don't have a lot of framework to discuss them.

that's all i've got for today. i hope this was enlightening or affirming for some <3

[farmerbebop]

The sun was shining too bright for me to be worrying about my deadline so I guess I'll use this rare occasion to make a pinned post.

When I started blorbo posting it was simply because "If even I, who knows next to nothing about British and American TV series, can see that Patrick McGoohan was criminally underrated, then maybe this blog has a reason to exist."

The only thing I ever learned about blorbo posting is from the Columbo fandom. They have fun, and they love their blorbo. As the kids say: Love and peace on planet earth.

But McGoohan is a challenge and will never stop being one. His public image, both in front and behind of the camera, isn't that of someone who would be pleased with blorbo posting. I don't know how other blorbo bloggers feel, but I just wish I can hold a conversation with my blorbo that doesn't bore him to death or anger him to the point of throwing me out of the room.

Judging someone who talked about his nervous breakdown like it was just a cold isn't something I like to do, especially online. So if I have to talk about McGoohan, I always get quite nervous. I can only say that I regret we didn't get to know him as much as we would like to and I really wish he was still here with us.

I know many of the decisions he made, he made it for future generations. It's my privilege to say that my blorbo's gift to the three-year-old running this blog has been her greatest pride as a blorbo blogger. And her hardest and most honourable task is not to mess it up.

I actually didn't create this blog to please McGoohan (the ladies can testify to that, lol). And I think I make fun of him more than I should. But I hope he knows that life as a blorbo blogger isn't easy when your blorbo is Patrick McGoohan and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be too hard on me.

And just in case anyone is wondering what the hell I'm doing on here, here's a short guide to my blog.

my stupid vid My McGoohan fancams are what I personally consider the funniest part of my blog. But they can be somewhat serious too, I think.

my lousy photoshopping This can mean just about anything. McGoohan as The Little Prince. McGoohan in Ingmar Bergman's films. Anything that I made with photoshop. So I have some more tags to categorize it.

mcgoohan at the museum What I love to do the most in photoshop is putting McGoohan into paintings. I don't know why. Maybe because it easily hides my lousy photoshopping skills. Or maybe because my blorbo is as beautiful as a painting.

mcgoohan album covers What can I say? “But you don't really care for music, do you?”

mcgoohan fashion Let's be honest, don't you love a beautiful blorbo?

mcgoohan posters I sometimes try not to misinterpret McGoohan's works, I don't know if I succeed though.

no context mcgoohan Mostly just McGoohan sitting or standing somewhere. But I love it nonetheless.

mcgoohan for kids and mcgoohan anime Well, it's exactly what you would expect it to be.

mcgoohan arthouse One day I'll retire from blorbo posting and go back to watching arthouse films.

mcgoohan stickers They are not as cute as cat or bunny stickers, but they stick all right.

the prisoner redux or anything redux means my lousy photoshopping for that particular series/movie. But when there are so many McGoohans in one post I get tired of tagging and I just give up.

I think that's enough of my lousy photoshopping.

wild mcgoohan in his natural habitat McGoohan as God intended him. Trying to not give away too much information in interviews.

mcgoohan lore McGoohan in someone else's words, including his daughter's. Needless to say, my words should not be trusted. You'll know them when you see them.

my gif McGoohan gifs, mostly for losing tumblr polls. Also for making this blog popular with the ladies on here.

village poetry If there's one thing that McGoohan might like about this blog, this is probably it.

village soundcloud Blorbos and song lyrics go hand in hand - Tumblr proverb.

mcgoogoo and me Just me rambling about my McGoohan dreams and my hard life as a blorbo blogger.

my lousy shitposting It has something to do with McGoohan I'm afraid. But it's fun.

I know this blog has become quite predictable and it's filled with half of my life's story. But if McGoohan was really who I think he was, that would be the least of his problems with my blog.

And finally, my hiatus is a running joke that I'm getting worse at, I hope.

[nobrashfestivity]

I hope this does not resonate with some meanness that i do not intend but I feel i should make a brief statement here about who I *Ahem* block.

 I want to say first that most of you are great, real art lovers, people with interesting facts and insights and personal stories that enhance everyone’s appreciation. I’m grateful my followers here are these people, many of you have great blogs that have introduced me to things I didn’t know about,  but there are a couple of things I just don’t like to see here.

Most of these categories are obvious, bigots, hateful speech etc., but something less onerous that does get on my nerves after a while, are people that feel a need to talk about how bad the art is. I know this may seem minor and it’s a free country and all that, but it bothers me on couple of levels to the point where if it keeps on happening, I block the people doing it. I’m sure this is not great offense to them and most of them probably never even notice, but I’ll just explain why, not be grandiose, but to avoid further misunderstandings.

The main issue is a pretty broad internet trend, which is the idea that if you have an opinion, you must share it. There’s nothing wrong with your opinion and in fact i have posted art myself that I don’t particularly like but I find interesting or significant in some way. Thought provoking is a good category itself even if it does not check your aesthetic boxes. But i’d ask people to examine what is supposedly added, outside of ego satisfaction, by showing up just to try to knock holes in something other people enjoy.  I’m not talking here about a discussion. I think discussions are great about why someone likes or doesn’t get something. God knows I have a long list of art I can’t stand and am happy to chat about it. But, what I don’t do is find Jeff Koons paintings on tumblr and reply to them all “Garbage”. As tempting as that might be,  It’s not adding anything and it might be inhibiting to someone from discovering something new they might like, when they have to read random hatred about it. i know it seems like a mild thing but I think it’s good for all of us to remember we don’t hold the definitive stance on art. 

I find this particularly absurd and egotistical when it comes to everyone’s favorite easy target, abstract expressionism. You don’t have to like it! But Mark Rothko painted his last painting over 50 years ago. I guarantee you every learned pro or con is already on the books. Your “My kid could do that” comment embarrasses you, not him. It’s an annoyance to everyone to get these “I’m an artist and...”. Trust me, everyone is an artist, it’s not a special taste license. And, it also brings up the obvious point that, formalistically, your argument on de Kooning has no merit. Basically arguing that the only good painting is the one that really, really looks like the thing it is supposed to represent is, at best, an intellectual house of cards.

So please let people enjoy what they enjoy. I came late in life to certain things  like On Kawara, who didn’t make a lot of sense to me until I saw in person how beautifully he painted. In sense there was a line for me to Japanese art traditions of craftsmanship that I already admired and he was following. It lent weight to his presentation of conceptual art. It became not just the idea but the beauty of the object and that made me love him. 

Mostly, artists are just trying to express themselves and if they don’t do it in exactly the way you prefer, consider chalking that up to a difference in opinion.

As Orson Welles said, “When in doubt, don’t do anything.”

[lighthouseas]

hi all! i know that i haven’t posted for a while, but since the end of the year is fast approaching, i thought i’d make a post detailing my appreciation for my lovely mutuals . (if you saw this post earlier because tumblr was being a bitch, no you didn’t <3333)

anyway, without further ado- and in no particular order-

bee’s end-of-the-year MUTUAL APPRECIATION POST!!!

@hazmatazz - OHHH MAN. SILLY GUY ALERT. starting off strong with the lovely the amazing the fantabulous HAZ HAZMATAZZ. haz, being your friend and fellow Silly Squad member has been such an honor. you’re so funny and sweet and smart and make the best posts that make me giggle. and even though i don’t talk in it much, seeing so many Shenanigans go down in the discord server is seriously the funniest thing. I could just. squish you. you make me so happy and it’s an honor to be your friend. seriously hope 2024 treats you amazingly bc you deserve all of it <3333

@cannibalismyuri - SARA!!!! sara my lovely ohhh you are. the funniest. seriously. i have been reduced to Tears of laughter from posts on your blog. you have such an energy about you that is completely unmatched. even with Fandom Weirdness and the like, you’ve still pulled through and kept being your silliest self (and let me be silly with you which is awesome), and i commend you for that. aaaand not to get sappy or whatever but i really do look up to and admire you. you inspire me a lot. also, i love your new url. i want to eat it. pun intended. HAVE THE BEST 2024 EVER <3333

@qulizalfos - LIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. everyone listen up okay. liza is the loml IF ANYONE EVEN CARESSS. liza oh my god i adore you and your endless enthusiasm. seriously your comments on tsad are comments that i look back on when i need motivation because they’re just. so sweet. you are so sweet. we’ve only been mutuals since this SUMMER and yet it feels like we’ve known each other forever. i love screaming about things with you and i love the fact that my FIC is in your BIO??? HELLOOOO??? also okay. can we talk about your writing and art. liza i cannot say ENOUGH how talented you are. if i could staple your fics and art to the entire st fandom’s forehead so they would have to look at it forever then i would. your brain is so ginormous and the way you describe things and think about things is something i could only dream of doing. literally adore everything about you and wish i could hang out with you and wayli so we could all be a little insane together <33333 love you. LOVE YOUUUU I hope 2024 is awesomesauce for you <33333333

@wayward-sherlock - SPEAKING of wayli. oh wayli. if i had time to write a 10 page essay detailing how much of an impact you have had on me i would. seriously though you are just the sweetest, kindest, and most positive person ever. seeing you blow up my notes makes me grin So Hard because like oh man. wayli likes my blog. THEEE wayli thinks i’m cool. wtfff….anyway. you are so smart and it shows in your literally breathtaking writing and analysis (ANALYSIS FIRM!!!) you’re so perceptive and it honestly blows me away. reading your writing is so mesmerizing and just. sends me on an adventure. actually just scrolling through your BLOG sends me on an adventure because you always have the best stuff on there. honestly, I just wanna give you the biggest hug and tell you how awesome you are because rambling in a tumblr post simply is not enough. all’s that to say, i’m really looking forward to this coming year that will hopefully include more screaming about fanfiction in our discord messages and more of us being friends. because i love being your friend and it’d be so awesome if one day we could hang out together and be a tad Insane. doopel dopple gang STICKS TOGETHER AMIRITE?? anyway. i love you so much and wish you all the best in 2024 <333333

@antibyler - spencer HIII i know it’s been a minute since we last talked but can i just say that it has been an HONOR being your mutual this year. you’re so cool and fun and easy to talk to and also are a Fellow NHIE Fan which makes you even cooler. don’t think i’ve ever seen a bad opinion on your blog, which i know is saying a lot but it’s true To Me okay. seriously could never ever imagine Not following spencer basiltonpitch antibyler because like. that’s some essential dash content right there. THEEE blog to ever. makes the tumblr experience about 2034549650 times better. hope 2024 treats you wonderfully, my triple b mutual WOO <3

@versa-vices - FINNIEEEE!!!!!! you are my sunshine my special sunshine you make me happyyyyyyyy when skies are grayyyy….like actually though you are such a sunshine. seeing your comments on my posts never fails to make me giggle. a Silly Squad member that’s for sure. but like. being your tumblr bestie this past year has been so much fun. hanging out on the dash together and being Slightly Unhinged in the discord messages has been one of the highlights of my year. you’re so sweet and lovely and i don’t think it would be tumblr without you (those 10 minutes where you deactivated were HARD man okay. what am i supposed to do without u :(() okay anyhoo. thank you for being the bestest ever and hope 2024 treats you well <333

@light-lanterne - angel hiii! it’s been a bit since we’ve interacted but i needed to talk about how kind and patient you’ve been throughout literally everything because tumblr can be a little much sometimes. your kindness and determination to make so many beautiful graphics is absolutely incredible. i still look back on the graphics you’ve made for my fics sometimes, and it’s just…amazing. you’re so talented both in your art and your writing. when times got tough in the Fandom, i could always count on your blog to be a cozy and warm retreat from the craziness. it’s an honor to be your mutual, and i hope 2024 treats you kindly, because you seriously deserve it <33

@booksandpaperss - ELLI HIII!! holy shit one of my oldest mutuals. here when the ancient scrolls were written. elli , you have made my fandom experience so much more enjoyable. what with your huge brain and amazing takes, you always keep things real and i admire that about you. you’re also just. so easy to talk to. both because you’re ridiculously funny and also because you’re so nice to me like what. i love Discussing things with you, especially when it felt like we were sitting in a corner sipping tea and having a grand old time while the entire fandom went batshit. uscore fr. also, your comments on tsad…dude…they made me and STILL make me tear up. you read everything with such an attentive eye and then give the sweetest compliments on it. it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. you’re just. so awesome okay. never forget that. hope u have a wonderful 2024 <3333

@karenchildress - hi jo!!!!!!!!!! i know we don’t interact as much but like. you’re such a joy to see on the dash i’m being so fr right now. how are you so funny like some of your posts still make me laugh to this day. you also keep things Real which i appreciate a lot, people tend not to do that nowadays T-T. we need more jo karenchildresses in the st fandom i think. things would improve marginally. anyway. keep being cool and fun and hope 2024 brings you much joy <3

@homohabu - oh man you’re just. you’re so nice. your blog is so inviting and has the loveliest colors all over it that make me very happy. you’ve always been so lovely to me and it makes me smile. you’re also another one of my oldest mutuals…and you’ve still stuck around through everything. thank you for having an awesome blog and being an awesome person! hope 2024 is good for you!!!!!!!!

@kuntniss - sierra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hiiiii it’s been a minute but can i just say that your blog makes me so so so super happy whenever i look at it. both your reblogs and original posts are just. great vibes. great vibes all around. you’ve been so nice to me this past year and it’s seriously been so wonderful interacting with you and looking forward to seeing your posts. being your mutual is so fun. i hope 2024 brings you so many good things, you deserve all of them <33333333

@weirdo09  - cade! i know you haven’t been online in a while but i just wanted to say that you’ve been such a wonderful friend to me this past year. you’re so creative and i loved hearing your ideas in my inbox and getting tagged in your wonderful. i hope you’re doing okay now, because you were honestly such a joy to see on the dash and in my notes. also, your ever changing themes were always a nice surprise to come across when i opened your blog, lol. hope 2024 treats you well :)

@holyvirgilscriptures - virgil !!!! oh my god i adore your blog so badddd like. i could seriously scroll through it forever it’s just banger after banger after banger. you always have the best takes on like. Everything. also FELLOW TAWOG BROTHER IN ARMS HELLOOOO !!!! BEST TASTE IN MEDIA AWARD GOES TO YOU MY FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. you have made this year so so so enjoyable just with the Existence of your blog. this coming year i hope we can interact a bit more because you’re super awesome <333 may 2024 bring you many good things! 

@ollsonline - oliver <3333 my lovely. since we became mutuals you have been nothing but the sweetest, kindest, friendliest person to me. you’re so welcoming to everyone and it absolutely warms my heart. you’ve been such an amazing friend to me this year and we should totally talk more because you’re super cool and awesome also!!! thank you for being the best and i hope 2024 treats you kindly <3

okay that’s all i’ve got! to any mutuals i did not get to mention: i love you so much. you have made The Tumblr Experience that much more bearable with your endless kindness. i love all of you so much, and am wishing you a happy new year through the screen! MWAH!!!!!!!

[bleach-smashorpass]

intro sticky

Hello and welcome to Bleach Smash or Pass, a blog in which polls will be posted for every Bleach character in alphabetical order. Partly inspired by @charactersmashorpass and partly because Bleach has so many characters with absolutely wild designs, and we want to see how nasty the Bleach fandom is. Your mods are two soul candy dispensers: Chappy and Yuki.

Q: When will polls be posted, and how long will they last? A: Posts are queued to go up twice a day at around 12PM and 5PM EST. (Tumblr might post them a little later than they're supposed to go up!) Polls will be open for one week.

Q: Why Bleach though? A: We genuinely just want to know how many people think Mayuri Kurotsuchi is fuckable.

Q: How will polls be formatted? A: Polls will include two images of the character (prioritising manga over anime) and the character's name will be listed in western order. Polls will be tagged with the character's name and their classification within Bleach (Shinigami, Quincy, Hollow, human, etc.)

Q: Will you compile statistics and make graphs? A: Probably.

Q: Can we send submissions? A: Not at this time! We're going through the characters in alphabetical order (by given name.) The list previously included characters only from the original manga, but now includes characters who appear in the anime. They'll start posting after the run of manga characters. Submissions might be considered for Brave Souls units at a later date.

Q: Can we send asks? A: Sure, but we probably won't answer them unless there's a concern about a poll that was posted wrong or something. We're not interested in discourse or anything like that, we just want to run a silly little blog for fun, please understand.

This blog is intended for an 18+ audience, please don't follow us if you're a minor. And finally, for the love of god, be chill. If someone hates your blorbo it's not a personal attack, keep it respectful and civil. ✌️🍓

Useful Tags

#seireitei bulletin for answered asks, and blog information/updates #sop - original run of manga only polls // #stats breakdown other rounds: #anime only • #beyond resurreccion

#seireitei smashability showdown • R1, LR1 • R2, LR2 • R3, LR3 • R4, LR4 Last Updated: 09/13/24

[viewsbourg]

Breaking the silence ( Shinybeyzer / Mc )

⚠disclaimer⚠

Do not witch hunt or harass shinybeyzer / shinymc / any other aliases they go under . Many things I will claim later on in the post can only be alleged as a lot of evidence has been lost from the deletion of my old discord account ( 0rbrot#5083 ) , their deletion of their old blog ( Shinymc ) , and their deletion of the current blog ( Shinybeyzer ) . this post will contain passages about manipulation , emotional abuse , and mentions of suicide and self harm . Everything detailed below is my own experience and it may vary between people

TLDR at the bottom

this will be the last time I talk about this unless this somehow manages to outrage me more . but I feel like this whole ' goodbye letter ' is just the pure embodiment of manipulation .

Here is their final letter to me .

it starts off by guilt tripping me , ' you can block me ' as well as the later part where ONCE AGAIN they assume that I hate them , or that I'll forget about them .

guess what ? I'm never forgetting you . I would never forget someone who manipulated me for 4 years and drove me near insanity just from the sheer amount of times I needed to repeat that fact . Then gauging the fact that I " sent her away " as if I hadn't warned them hundreds of times that I would cut them off if they kept going .

Then they pull the sympathy card . " I won't hate you " . No shit , you're right , you have no reason to , I'm not the one who made your life the way it is , I'm not the one who enabled it either . The reason the truth hurt so much is because you're living in god damn denial . the truth hurts , yes , but if you never face it , you'll only keep digging your grave .

once again , assuming I'll be outraged . that I'll ask them to never talk to me again . Basically just saying this to ask me to prove them wrong , but you know what ? you're right this time . Never talk to me ever again .

and finally , they definitely weren't the bad person in this situation , see ! they're wishing me happy pride month ! ! how sweeeeeeeet ! ! ! /s .

Sorry , the first part was rather emotional . But I've got a lot of things I want to provide now that this person has left tumblr , again .

it's rather hard to provide withstanding evidence for emotional manipulation , as it is a gradual thing and difficult to prove with as few screenshots , but I'll still try my best .

I've been friends with Shiny since late 2019 ( 4 years ) , we met through the AF / PR community ( now Stars Align ) On discord , most messages still being there , mostly being a relatively positive friend ship until 2021 ( below ) where they were chased out of the community for being hyper - sensitive to jokes and criticism and not being willing to listen to others ( will bring up later ) .

before long , I was greeted with a long message detailing about how I was their only friend left , and how much they loved me and needed me in those trying times . Unfortunately I have no evidence to provide so feel free to not believe me on this one .

Our relationship turned sour quick as we'd argue regularly . I set my boundaries straight and refused to blindly accept them without criticizing them for their actions at the time . this continued on relatively often but I never paid mind to it . but it only got significantly worst .

Their manipulation tactics :

they will claim that they have suicidal thoughts and need your help

they will claim nobody else accepts them , they will bash themselves for their looks and / or state of being ( unemployed , living with parents )

they will claim that they have no other friends despite being them having many readily available to use as a speaking vessel whenever you intend to block them

A lot of evidence for the claims above have been unfortunately lost from our earlier conversations and may not be evident at first , once again , i apologize for being unable to provide full proof for all of my claims .

All these actions are used to gauge your sympathy , or to pity you into caring . If you do not reciprocate , they will :

They will exaggerate your words . ( ex : We should stop being friends ➞ You hate me and want me to die )

They will assume that you dislike them because of X reason ( their words : being ugly , having no friends , etc .)

Double down and claim to go cry , self harm or kill themselves .

They will ignore your points in favor of the above .

their selfishness : Shiny is an incredibly selfish person , even if you are there in their time of needs , they won't treat you better than a stranger . Despite the superficial amount of support they give you , they don't want to treat you like a person with their own thoughts , or even care about what others need / want .

[ These conversations happened while I delayed a roleplay mission from a discord server I and friends created to roleplay fighting missions . They god mad that I wasn't willing to upload the mission until the members of the group got a hang of the concept of role playing , as some were new to it ]

[ Below : this is just childish ]

3 . they will never change .

They might tell you that they're in a horrible position , and that they're way of living everyday on their phone is bad , but don't let that fool you , they don't want to change .

Despite telling you they're changing or that they've changed , their behavior has remained the same for the 4 years I knew them . You might say " ooh well , changing these fundamental and integral parts about oneself is quite difficult and requires a lot of willpower " . That's true ! That is difficult . But you know what's not ? Working 20h a week

Despite this , you might tell yourself that you can still help them . Put their life back together , fix them , even . But I'm sorry . I have not observed any change in their behavior except for short moments where they act nicer while still making excuses to avoid changing .

Miscellaneous :

Things that belong a bit everywhere .

[ Below : refusal to change ]

[ Below : " Evil Self " ]

[ Below : Sheer breakdown and respectful response . ]

[ Below : " They go easy on me , but you don't " , referring to how I told them to get help . ]

TLDR : Shiny is a selfish , manipulative , abusive , controlling , lazy and childish 23 year old . And from my experience , they only need friends to justify themselves and validate their actions blindly . They do not desire to change despite constantly insulting themselves for the way they are . And finally , they manipulate and emotionally abuse their friends for the benefits without reciprocating the feelings in any meaningful way beyond telling you so .

But actions speak louder than words . And so far , I've only heard silence .

hello ! this is possibly the only edit i will make in regards to this situation , since theyve returned and my post has gotten a lot more attention . i posted this edit in reposts but i'd also like to add it here for simplicity's sake

the edit :

I honestly believe the original post is outdated , and written in a time where i was incredibly upset and hadn't yet had time to process any of it .

Though most of it still stands true , I want to stress that this was my personal perspective of my situation at the time . I never got to detail a lot of other things since at the time I just cobbled whatever I could to try to Express my frustration .

If you can , please find other sources as well to form a more conclusive opinion of the matter .

As well , my post / this thread will only ever detail what's happened between me and her during the years 2019 - 2023 . I do not wish to interact with them further . I also will not be updating it since it's no use digging something from the grave , if they say theyve changed , use your personal judgement for that , not information I have to provide that dates months if not years old .

As well as well , do not harass anyone who associates with shiny either . People are entitled to their own decision so being friendly with shiny is absolutely none of your business .

( added from original ) I'd also like to express that you should be allowed to want to be friends with shiny , but please be mindful of the way they interact with you , do not feel obligated to stay their friend just because of XYZ . A friendship should be mutual , one where both benefit , you should feel equally valued as how much you value shiny . if you feel like you are only getting frustrated , or feel unable to help them no matter what you do , its okay to tell them when you want to end it on the spot .

Thank you !

[felixcloud6288]

Higurashi: Whole Series Overview

I started this series in January. It took me just under nine months to finish and in that time, I've become the most relevant Higurashi blog according to the Tumblr algorithm. I'm genuinely upset that it's over.

All the way back in my first post for Abducted by Demons chapter 1, I said "This is a story about repentance, forgiveness, and second chances." When I said it then, I didn't intend to repeat it as many times as I did during the second half. But it just so happens to fully encapsulate what I think this story is about.

The first half of this series is about everyone screwing up and causing horrible tragedies either directly or indirectly. The second half is instead about them overcoming those faults and working toward a better future.

Now you might think "All their actions get undone and they don't remember anything. None of the bad stuff they do actually happens so there's no point to all this forgiveness stuff since there's nothing to forgive." But that's not really true. The stuff they do each arc gets undone, but everything they've done coming into each arc and the effects those actions have on them are still there.

Even if Keiichi doesn't murder his classmates in a paranoid fit, he still assaulted a bunch of children with a toy gun and accidentally shot a girl's eye out. Even if Shion doesn't kill all the village leaders out of a misguided desire for revenge, she still resents her sister for the mixup when they were little and the village for how it treated Satoshi. Even if Rena doesn't kill people who are trying to extort her father and hold her class hostage due to suffering paranoid delusions, she still blames herself for her parents' divorce and is always afraid she'll lose everything she loves if she isn't diligent.

Each of these bad timelines are what could happen because everyone doesn't confront the worst aspects about themselves and truly strive to become better people. The question arcs are all scenarios where those negative aspects of the characters are allowed to fester and act completely unimpeded. The answer arcs meanwhile begin to address them and bring everyone together. Most importantly, the answer arcs continuously assert that what you've done in the past doesn't matter as long as you are actively trying to be a better person now.

The turning point in the entire series is in Atonement chapter 11. We've had some allusions to Keiichi's past but this chapter airs out all his dirty laundry. And we the readers might think "Oh Keiichi is not a good person after all for hiding this from us" but when he confesses to his friends, they all agree that he didn't need to tell them this because he's actively trying to be a better person because of what he's done.

Shortly after, Keiichi is flooded with the memories of what he did in Abducted by Demons. For normal people who don't truly have the power to traverse worlds, this might feel more like a premonition of what could have happened if he didn't address his personal issues or kept himself distant from his friends because of them. And this drives him to reach out to Rena and show her similarly that she has people she can go to even with what her past is.

In the final chapter of the entire series, Dice Killing chapter 6, everyone comments on the idea of a world where none of their crimes and sins happened, and they all agree that they're better off in this world because it allowed them to become better people. They still regret what they've done, and it will affect them all their lives, but it's ultimately best that they learned from them.

This series has a lot of fun with throwing supernatural and occult aspects at the reader. We start the story with a premise that there's some secret death cult running the village. Then as we keep going, we get things like the dead coming back to life, doppelgangers, death curses, and the mortal incarnation of a god.

All these different elements become a tangled mess that the reader is left to try figuring out how they come together. And in the answer arcs, we get to find what is true and what is false. And it turns out most of these supernatural elements are actually mundane coincidences or misunderstandings. In fact, Atonement seems intent on proving there isn't anything supernatural going on by introducing a new element, mind controlling alien parasites, and showing how we could mistakenly think that's a thing.

But as the story shows how some supernatural elements aren't real, it doubles down on others. As we learn that aliens, doppelgangers, and zombies are not part of this story, we're also shown that Oyashiro is real, Rika is Oyashiro's reincarnation, and they both have something to do with everything going on.

And all these strange elements were ultimately a distraction. The main point to it all is there is a conspiracy to destroy the village and Rika's death is a core aspect to it. Once all the occult mysteries are solved, we get to focus on the main plot.

Digging into a bit of what I can surmise about Ryukishi07 based on his work here, he definitely believes strongly that a person's mental wellbeing needs to factor heavily into the actual culpability of their crimes. Nomura and Okonogi are the only ones in the story who are painted as truly evil. They did everything they did with full soundness of mind. Most everything else is done by people who are repeatedly shown that they would never do what they did if they were in their right state of mind.

Massacre chapter 1 refers to a heavy-handed example of Keiichi. We're introduced to him by watching him go mad and kill his friends. But subsequent arcs show us that that behavior is very much the exception. Ultimately, every person is a very bad situation away from doing something they would never do normally.

One of the notes in the epilogue to Festival Accompanying is Irie would release a thesis on how changes to the brain affect personality and it will make people reconsider whether people should always be blamed for their actions. So part of the good ending of the story is that mental illness and wellbeing are factored into how to approach the guilt or innocence of a crime.

The ultimate shift from researching Hinamizawa Syndrome as a weapon to researching treatment and prevention is also part of that good ending.

I've gotten this far and I feel like I haven't really talked much about actual media itself. So this is a manga adaptation of a Visual Novel. The arcs were all written and released concurrently over what I'd say are three primary waves. The first wave saw Abducted by Demons, Cotton Drifting, and Curse Killing release at the same times followed by Time Killing releasing after. The second wave was Beyond Midnight, Eye Opening, and Atonement. Finally, Massacre and Festival Accompanying released together with Dice Killing releasing after.

This would really explain why manga sites at the time hosted each arc as it's own separate series since they were treated as their own separate series. When it was given an English release, the volumes were released one at a time as part of the Higurashi series rather than as their own individual series.

If she were allowed to, I bet Karin Suzuragi would have done the art for every arc. Looking at the series by release order, she was involved in the manga adaptation from start to end.

Each question-answer arc pair having its own artist really added to the sense that each arc is a different story and these are different worlds. I don't know if there were any real-world reasons for why it happened, but Hinase Momoyama adapting Massacre rather than Jiro Suzuragi reprising her artist role for it ended up being one of the best examples of how different artists made each world feel inherently different. Massacre is a world unlike every other world and it ends up looking like none of the other worlds.

And I've pointed out multiple instances of it throughout the series, but the team involved in the adaptation knew how to use the manga medium to its maximum. From page layout, to visuals, to shading; the team knew how to give the make everything have the most impact on the reader. The team LOVES the Higurashi VNs and they wanted their favorite moments to leave the same impression in manga format that they felt when reading it as a VN.

Sadly, not everything could be adapted into the manga. There are details about the world that are told to the reader of the VNs that just cannot be carried over into the manga in an effective way. If you wanted to experience both, you're better off reading the VN first and then the manga. It would have the same impact as reading your favorite book and then watching a (good) movie adaptation. Your imagination fills in the visuals as you read what happens, then you get to enjoy those vivid ideas being blown up into a beautiful visual medium.

I think that's everything I have to say about this series as a whole so I'm just going to end with a few notes I either forgot to mention or changed over time.

First, I mentioned Shion wasn't a main character in Eye Opening chapter 4. I bring it up several more times as a light joke throughout the series, and I want to mention that I originally intended to be far more aggressive about that than I ultimately was. I planned to put several instances of "(and Shion)" into every mention of the group whenever Shion was with them.

I realized early on that the degree I was going to use that joke would stop getting funny and start getting mean really quickly. I stand by my statements that she's ultimately part of the secondary cast and she's not anywhere near as close to any of the main cast as they are to each other, but they still consider her a friend and she's always welcome to join club activities any time.

I also wanted to tie Beyond Midnight to a few instances of talks about the future but kind of forgot about it when those moments happened. In particular, that arc can never happen in Festival Accompanying since it hinges on Hinamizawa being a ghost town in 2004. So I'd like to know what happens to Otobe and Towada in a world where their story can never happen.

I wanted to make one or two references to Eriko (The girl who was fed to chickens in Festival Accompanying) near the end of the series but it didn't work out. When I read Festival Accompanying chapter 4, I wanted to mention her during the very last chapter of the arc by saying something like "Everyone lived happily ever after, except Eriko and all the other children from the orphanage. They died horribly." And then when Hanyu tells Rika how everyone is living their best lives in Dice Killing, I was going to mention that maybe Eriko also got to live a happy life as well.

I'm pretty sure that once or twice, I mentioned Resident Evil when talking about Tokyo's plans to use Hinamizawa Syndrome for military use. If I didn't, then I intended to and forgot. I was going to add RE1's original release as one of the things Rika can look forward to in the future and was going to joke that it was secretly inspired by Tokyo's plans to use Hinamizawa syndrome in biological warfare, but I couldn't figure out how to fit it in.

I'm working on one last thing for this series before I begin my next one. I'm putting together a post where I try to show what events happened concurrently across arcs. I'll hopefully have it done within a week.

I hope you've enjoyed this series as much as I enjoyed writing it.

back

[khaire-traveler]

I just stumbled upon your blog a few days ago and absolutely love it! I hope your days get better, I'll be sending good energy your way :3

Question: How did you first get into paganism? (If its a personal story, no worries!) I got started by getting really into mythology and then it just blossomed into way more than that

Thank you for the well wishes! I'm feeling better today. 🧡

My answer is way longer than I intended it to be, so I'm adding a "read more". Apologies in advance, but thank you to anyone who decides to read it. XD

I'm more than ok answering that question! Honestly, I wasn't really interested in paganism at all for a while. I was open to it, but it wasn't on my radar. I had just left Christianity about five or six months prior, given Wicca a chance to discover I didn't vibe with it, and decided I would remain agnostic while practicing witchcraft instead. I honestly wasn't even sure if any deities existed at all at that point and didn't really have faith in anything (which I've since discovered is a necessity for me). I was also in a pretty bad place mentally and emotionally at that time.

Without warning, I started receiving strange dreams that featured Greek gods. I had literally never known anything about Greek mythology beforehand aside from Persephone's kidnapping and whatever was going on in Disney's Hercules, so having dreams about Greek gods was very strange for me. I decided to look into it further since the dream contained a lot of symbolism I honestly couldn't decipher. I spoke to the one and only pagan I knew at the time - a follower of some other Greek gods.

Now, this person sucked a lot and decided that it'd be a great idea to tell me that my dream either meant that Hermes was reaching out to me, there was some spirit haunting me, or I was going to DIE soon!?!?!?! Like, seriously, who says that to someone with literally no experience in anything pagan related???? Anywho, the first option was the actual truth.

For the next three weeks after that dream, I was in HEAVY denial that a god would ever be interested in having anything to do with me. Instead, I focused on the more pessimistic outcomes the asshole person suggested.

However, Lord Hermes was absolutely not just going to throw up his hands and walk off into the sunset. No, quite the contrary! He spammed the shit out of me with sign after sign after sign, and I continued to dismiss them, although I was getting increasingly more hopeful because I had read up on him and thought he was really cool. I remember saying aloud to myself while reading his cattle myth, "Now THIS is a god I would want to worship!"

Despite all the signs I was being sent, I kept eventually dismissing it as coincidence or a weird one-off event. Until one day, I went into my kitchen to start my day, and in the backyard, the entire ground was covered by a massive flock of black birds. They were even sitting on the fence because there was no room on the ground! They were literally everywhere; I had never seen that in all my years of living in that house, and I had never seen it again. As soon as I saw them, they immediately flew away, and Hermes' name randomly popped into my head.

I obviously couldn't ignore that.

Within the next few days, I tried my best to research everything about paganism and deity worship that I could. I tried reaching out to my shitty pagan friend, and she did give me some helpful pointers but mostly left me on my own. Weirdly, I couldn't find a lot of information on worshipping Hermes at that time. I barely had any social media (I didn't have a Tumblr yet and had never used it prior), so I wasn't sure who to ask for good research options. I tried the Hellenic Polytheism Reddit and was told to "just search it up". The reason I try to answer asks sent to me is partially because of the extremely unwelcoming people I came across in that community. I'm not sure if they've changed since then, as it's been several years, but I sure fucking hope they did, god damn.

Anyway, I often felt a presence "looking over my shoulder" whenever I'd research the topic. It honestly freaked me out a bit because I hadn't ever experienced that kind of thing so strongly before outside of some one-off experiences. I finally decided to put together a small display of offerings. I used a tealight candle and gave him quite a few trinkets I had gained over my travels. As I lit the candle, I started writing a letter to Hermes because I wasn't comfortable praying yet. The entire time, it felt as if someone was looking over my shoulder and watching me write. It was freaky at first but grew comforting over time.

I had asked Lord Hermes for help adopting a specific cat that I wanted to train to be a service animal. The cat was already used to walking on a leash and was a few years old (I didn't want a kitten at the time). I told him that I wasn't sure if I'd be able to adopt him because the adoption center seemed weirdly hell-bent on not allowing me to adopt him, despite the fact that he had been stuck there for a year already. I was financially stable enough to take care of him and could even prove it, but they were extremely unfriendly with me for whatever reason. I asked him if he could please ensure the adoption, as I had sent a message to the center earlier in the day and was hoping for a reply.

Well, I woke up the next day, and the cat had apparently been adopted by someone else, despite there being no mention of anyone else with an interest in him to me. I was crushed by this, but my mom came running into the room to tell me to get dressed and that we were getting a cat. I was super confused, obviously, but she told me that someone she had reached out to last night about literally the only other Siamese cat she could find in the state (needed that breed specifically due to cat allergies in the household) and had confirmed we could pick up the cat. The cat was professionally bred and would come with all his toys, a cat tree, all his food, and his litterbox. Instead of being $2,000 as the owner had originally bought him for, he was $500. Thankfully, we were in a place that we could make that payment.

The only downside for me was how young the cat was. He was six months old. I decided to push that aside and meet him in person. He immediately loved me. He purred loudly and rubbed against me specifically. He barely even interacted with any of the other four people in the room; it was like he already wanted to be my best friend. I can't describe how wonderful that felt for me.

Suffice to say, we brought him home lol. On the way home, we passed a sign I had never seen in the city before. "Hermés", the brand, but I took as a very literal sign that my letter had been received.

Since then, I've been worshipping Lord Hermes! He means a great deal to me and has helped me through some extremely difficult times these past four years. He introduced me to many more deities, and over time, I found myself becoming a Hellenic Polytheist rather than a Hellenic Pagan. I'm happier with my religion than I've ever been, and I'm certain that I made the right choice that afternoon that I lit a tealight candle and wrote a letter.

Thank you for asking and reading this long ass answer lol. Sorry for any typos; I decided not to proof read it. I'm glad you found happiness in the pagan path as well! Take care, and have a wonderful day/night. 🧡

[leannan-sithe]

Terminology Options

For Godspousing and Spirit Partners

These are frequently used on our 4-year-old godspousing discord, some were developed / coined there, some are terms with existing history.

Otherpartner

general term for an entity who is your romantic, s*xual, or otherwise intimate partner, where intimate does not include familial intimacy

can be applied to any entity (spirits, ghosts, heroes) not solely deities

useful when discussing groups, i.e. "What does your Otherpartner like?" when directed at multiple people.

capitalization is up to the user, but I find sometimes it differentiates Otherpartner as intentional word combination versus otherpartner as a typo

Compersion

a preexisting term - search for other definitions!

joy felt in polyamorous (or non monogamous) relationships when your partner is intimate with another person

applicable to godspousing due to shared partners and inherent polyamorous nature of god-relationships

Godbothered

preexisting internet term that refers to being "bothered" by a deity, in the simplest terms

although "bothered" can have negative associations on its own, godbothered is/was originally a neutral term

godbothering is commonly associated with the sense that Something/Someone is trying to get your attention, via divination, any of the "clairs" (seeing, hearing, sensing outside of IRL), or through media / social media

the term seems to be most commonly associated with tumblr pagans, where godbothering can occur through "dashomancy", where it is presumed the bothering god in question puts repeated signs/symbols on your dash (feed) to get your attention; the veracity of dashomancy is up for debate due to algorithm interference

Godbothered is often just a way to say, "I feel like something wants my attention and I don't know who or what yet" rather than any specific stigmatized/irritating actions

Here's a link to an older post on my blog about specific godspousing terms, like godpartner versus godspouse, or using consort or mate as word-endings!

Note: This post was not intended to be a all-encompassing list, but more of a convenient excuse to introduce others to useful terminology.

[uramii]

Blog Rules

This is primarily intended for mobile view as I understand some people primarily use tumblr through the app or those who don't want to wade through the theme. Enjoy! Drop a like on this post if you've read them, there is no password.

This is an open blog for all. I'm not at all selective on interactions nor do I require you to "match my length" or anything of that nature. Duplicates are also welcome! Seeing Ganondorf talk to himself might be a treat if they don't kill each other.

Personal blogs are also welcome but if you don't roleplay I won't be following back. Trying to keep my dash clean for the most part.

Although this is a multiverse/multiship blog there will be continuity within the main verse. If you see Ganondorf reference your muse or speak about events that occurred between us then just know I reserve the right!

Ganondorf is a villain! He may go through a redemption arc here soon, who knows, but even afterwards he's a brash and ultimately cruel man. His short temper means he may harm your muse. Just bear that in mind. I'll warn you, the mun, before that happens so we're both on the same page of course but sometimes he'll simply react.

Smut is on a case-by-case basis

All relationships are welcome. Romantic, platonic(if you can reach that level with him), enemies( all Link's welcome ;D), so on and so forth. Romance isn't the only flavor but it's the best

Relevant triggers will be tagged, if I miss one let me know. I have no triggers for I am invincible.

This should go without saying but no god-modding. First a warning then a full-on block!

My schedule is hectic and my sleep schedule hates me so sometimes I may go a few days without posting. I promise I haven't forgot about you but if I haven't made contact in a bit don't be afraid to poke me. I don't bite. :) But Ganon may.

I'm here to have fun and play with the idea of a Ganondorf at the end of his journey and starting another one.

[custom-emojis]

how does it feel to have a large chronically online following

Painful. Deeply painful, as someone who was chronically online as a kid and am now a chronically online adult (that now has more than enough life experience under my belt to understand how being chronically online is just the worst and was deeply traumatizing). I’m in a bit to deep at almost 23 and using Tumblr since 2011 (and now am able to make my own mistakes and face my own repercussions for dumb shit I do online) but my god I hope some kids that follow me get outta this shithole. Here’s some life advice for chronically online kids coming from a chronically online adult;

Don’t list out your triggers. Anonymous assholes will use it against you for fun

Internet safety isn’t a joke. Don’t post sensitive info or your school or any of that shit.

Delete your trauma blog. Delete it.

Nobody cares about your online discourse irl please for the love of god stop getting involved in discourse that shit will leave you traumatized and an empty husk of a person I would know

Having interests and being involved in fandom doesn’t mean you’re chronically online, never let anyone tell you you’re too old for that or shame you. Let yourself enjoy things I know damn well I will be in my 30s still enjoying fandom. Old ppl are the ones who made it after all

This one is a bit complex to explain but you don’t have to Never Be Online to stop being Chronically Online and at least when I say it, I am not intending to be insulting. It just means your priorities are a little skewed due to lack of direct personal experience outside of online communities but that doesn’t mean you have to cut those online communities out. Or that you’re bad. Just use them to extend offline, find support groups, find friends you can hang out with IRL (safely and while communicating to your guardians) the internet is a powerful and great place by all means use it just also keep grounded in your local communities and don’t let the internet culture start clouding how you treat people and you’re good

I feel like it’s possible this anon was trying to be rude but I’ve decided to use this as a soapbox