#usually it's just snapping someone's neck tho lol. very hands-on. this was definitely new.

[orcelito]

New way to kill someone in a dream. Literally ripping their soul out of their body and crushing it in my fingers??? Like ok

[keiscait]

Hello!! I see that your matchups are open and I was wondering if I could get a Living Room and Bedroom one? Living Room would be more preferable if u can’t do both. I’m not sure if this is enough to cover both…I’m sorry agdhshdhejdbjdj

I’m not sure if u can do this but could u make this anon too? You can associate me by this emoji: 🕺

Here’s the info:

PRONOUNS: she/her

PERSONALITY (Living Room): I am generally very shy and closed off, always making sure I avoid people. I stay away from large crowds because I’m a ball of anxiety (I get anxiety easy) and I get really nervous whenever someone approaches me, especially around guys like I usually won’t look at them in the eyes because I become a blushy mess and lose my words. I am also usually very quiet too and don’t talk a lot. 

However, when I talk to my close friends, I literally become Hinata (no joke). I get so hyped, energetic, cheerful, make my friends laugh, and help them a lot too. I am also very passionate about things. When I am suffering with a problem, I don’t like telling friends because I don’t wanna worry them because I feel bad. I end up telling my best friend (they are literally Kageyama to me LOL). I also apologize a lot if I felt I did something wrong and I am quite odd to my friends. I end up getting into playful banter with my close friends where I tease them with playful jokes. I am quite observant too since I don’t usually talk to people, so I notice things from afar. I can tell if a friend of mine has a slight change in their behavior and I will ask if they are ok to be sure. I am also very honest, straightforward and pretty blunt about things. 

Do not get me upset. It takes a lot for someone to make me upset and actually angry. The most I would get is being annoyed. However, if you managed to get me angry, I lose my temper and yell and my friends have mentioned it’s as if I would snap someone in two. I do curse like crazy so people get surprised since I am usually quiet. Again it is rare, but I’ve been told it’s scary when I get angry. I will eventually be alone to recharge and wouldn’t want anybody to talk to me. 

When it comes to relationships, I don’t have that much experience…I hate PDA so I’m really private. I’m actually afraid to love somebody because I’m afraid I won’t be good at all so if somebody was crushing on me and shows affection, I try to divert that attention to something else because I get shy and get so scared. Again it’s hard to look at someone I like in the eyes because I blush so much. It’s hard to show affection by words so I show it by actions like hugs. I would love to hold their hands, caressing them or squeezing them just to feel the comfort and warmth. I think I might be very tender and gentle but I think as I open up, I might get cheery and energetic but that’s a theory. I do try my best to make them happy even if it takes me a while to get comfortable and I’ll try to shower them with love by physical actions. Maybe I’ll draw for them too to make them happy…

I love art. I love to draw for my friends because I love seeing them get so excited for the finished product. I also love listening to music every day so when I’m alone and away from everyone, I just blast music through my headphones. I love gaming too so you’d find me playing the Switch!

I am a perfectionist, hardworking and always try my best even if I get put down. Sometimes I might overwork when it comes to drawing but that’s because I get so eager to improve every day. I also love to give support to my friends for their dreams and but I am not an optimist or pessimist, I am a realist. 

IN BEDROOM: Pretty much the same when it comes down to relationships. I get extremely flustered and shy about physical affection and worry if I’m not good at all. I might be a bottom aagdhhshdhsjdjd I just don’t see myself having confidence in these kinds of experiences. I would love if somebody was gentle and passionate with me tho…Since I don’t rly interact with people in the public, I think I might be touch starved so any physical affection might drive me crazy (in the good way). As flustered as I get, I am pretty dirty-minded. 

ZODIAC: Aries

THINGS I LOOK FOR IN A PARTNER: quiet, calm, observant, passionate, playful, a tease, cold yet caring, strong, emotional, empathetic, kind, understanding, respectful, and not afraid to speak their mind

HOGWARTS HOUSE: Gryffindor!!

FAV FOOD: I loveeee food. I am always hungry for food. I love spicy food especially. I love pasta/spaghetti, pizza, sushi, and I love chicken burgers

FUTURE PLANS/DREAMS: I just hope to be successful and actually feel happy. I hope I’ll land a good position for art like for animation or games (especially if it’s anime-related!) I’m not sure if I’ll find someone to settle down with but only time will tell. 

MUSIC TASTE: Rock, J-Rock, Future Funk, Lofi, and I adore anime and video game OST LOOKS: I’m smol like 5'3. I have light skin but not pale (it’s like Hinata’s) and I have red/brown hair and brown eyes. I also have little freckles on my cheeks I’m so sorry if it’s so much but maybe it helps ; __ ; Thank u for doing these and make sure to take breaks!!

————————————————-

Hello and welcome, dear! This is wonderful - thank you for all the details, it gives me a lot to work with! ❤️ I’m so excited to get started with this. Let’s go to the living room! ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

For you, I’ve invited over…

Kita Shinsuke! (Runner up: Sugawara Koushi)

Our lovely Inarizaki captain may come off as cold and stoic, but he’s really just unbothered my trivial things. He strives for improvement daily, and ensures he goes through the motions before reaching perfection.

- When you two first meet, I don’t think there will be a lot of interaction there - but when there is, it’s definitely more comfortable than it is awkward. Kita has the effect on people that makes them feel safe and secure, like all the pressures of life just disappear for a moment

- This is how your friendship starts. He proves himself more and more approachable by the day. You’re both straightforward and observant people, so you two would probably tag-team when interacting with other people. He’ll make you feel secure in the friendship despite his no-nonsense bluntness, while he appreciates that you aren’t a flashy person

- The fact that you’re a hardworking perfectionist helps him relate to you on a deeper level. He’d be so happy to find someone who understands this part of him

- He will probably make himself more present in your life by doing little things - helping you clean up after class, sending you tips on how to study for a subject you’re having trouble with, offering an ear for you to rant if he notices something’s off

- He does everything slowly and with very close precision, all in the hopes of you becoming more comfortable around him

- the man is near perfect, what more can I say 

- OF COURSE he succeeds. He’s Kita Shinsuke

- Don’t worry, he won’t be thrown off by your more playful side once it comes out. Kita most likely already got hints of your sunshine here and there while he was slowly gaining your trust

- Once he feels like it’s the perfect time, only THEN will he ask you out

- Let out your inner gremlin!!!!! He can 100% handle it, since he’s so used to the chaos of his team by now and he has somehow remained?? completely SANE?? what a man

- AND the difference is, he LIKES YOU!!!1!!!!!!!1!!

- He will adore all your little quirks, and may even participate in your playful banter

- Does not mind that you’re not into PDA. Hell, he might even be relieved–

- He’d notice how you try to divert affection, and will try to talk to you about it. You won’t have to say much, he’ll be able to tell from your body language that it’s because you’re anxious to love somebody, and will never take that against you

- Will work on trying to break through those walls, but wouldn’t ever force it

- Prepare for a beautiful domestic future 🥺🥺🥺 a simple life on a farm in the Japanese countryside with the man of your dreams?? You, an artist, and him, a farmer???? The absolute PUREST domestic dream 😭😭😭

~

You were sat in your worktable, sketching away the morning. A deadline was fast approaching, so you could hardly allow yourself to rest - so the first thing you did today, as with most days, was work. 

The art block hit a few days back. Your nights have recently been filled with drooping eyes paired with a throbbing headache, and they were now slowly eating up your mornings, too. You massaged your neck, sore from hunching over your desk so much - all you could at the moment was stare at the now blank sheet in front of you. You weren’t satisfied with any of the pieces you made, so you always ended up scrapping whatever it is that you were doing.

You were snapped out of your daze at the sound of the cuckoo clock. You noticed that you were gripping the pen a little too hard, causing some redness on your fingertips. A frustrated groan escaped you as your hands rubbed circles into your temples. The morning felt so dull.

The time read 7AM. Two hours on the desk and not a single thing, you thought to yourself. Like clockwork, you heard the door open and close as Kita came back from field work. He stopped in his tracks upon seeing you.

“You’re awake?” His tone was more concerned than surprised. He had witnessed your restlessness these past few days, doing whatever he can to ease your frustration a a little bit. This wasn’t anything new to him, seeing as you were both workaholics, but he couldn’t help but worry about how this deadline was treating you.

You managed a weak smile as you met his eyes. He looked pretty in the morning light - sweat trickling down his neck, some of his hair clinging to his forehead, lips slightly parted to allow better breathing. It was rare for you to see him like this since he usually gets up and finishes work before you get up. The sight comforted you a bit, as if the bleakness dissipated for a little while.

He walked over to the coffee machine to run it. “Still no luck?”

“I’ve been at it since 5AM.” You let out an exasperated sigh. “I woke up when you went out to work. I couldn’t go back to sleep thinking about it.”

He hummed in acknowledgment. The two of you stayed quiet for a while, with only the sounds of the coffee machine and birds chirping. The peacefulness almost sunk in until you were reminded of the stress looming over your head. You let out another sigh.

You were staring down the blank sheet again, sick of the emptiness it posed. With a pen in hand, you tried to mimic the motions of drawing strokes, hoping for a sudden burst of inspiration. Nothing. 

Kita laid a cup of coffee next to you. “You barely slept, y/n. At least eat a bit.” That elicited no response from you - all you could do was lean back in your chair, feet put up onto the seat.

Your boyfriend placed his finger under your chin, making you look up at him standing next to you. “Y/n.” 

He examined your expression - you were so tired; redness peaked from the corners of your eyes, and your lips were almost pale. “You need food in your system, y/n.”

“I don’t have time to eat, Shin, this is–”

“Food is what the brain runs on. Even a child knows that,” he teased as he pulled you on your feet and led you to the kitchen table, “Eat.”

You had no choice but to oblige. You plucked a banana from its bunch, munching away while Shin scrambled some eggs. Before you knew it, a breakfast was spread out in front of you. The brown-eyed boy pressed a kiss at the top of your head as you praised him. “I don’t deserve you,” you said with a smile.

“It’s just breakfast,” he chuckled, “and you do deserve me. You deserve the world.”

The world suddenly felt full of color again, and you were ready to face the dreary white that’s been mocking you the whole week.

~

I hope that was alright with you, dear! Let’s head over to the bedroom ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

Look who’s here for some alone time!

Semi Eita! (Runner up: Kageyama Tobio)

One of the prettiest setters to date, Semi here has his moments of sincerity despite the scary attitude he puts up. He comes off as a domineering personality, but I feel like in the bedroom, he’d be incredibly tender.

- Don’t believe the mask he puts up. Semi bb is a big softie for his s/o!!!!! CHANGE MY MIND

- In the bedroom, you well-being would be TOP priority - he would constantly ask you if this or that is okay, and make sure your comfortable with whatever the two of you are doing

- Your first time would be SO intimate: if you planned it beforehand, he’d go as far as laying out candles, setting up a fragrance to fill the room, and maybe even laying out roses; if it isn’t planned, he’d hold you close the whole time, and won’t really get rough with how he handles you

- Has enough confidence to take the lead. He’s pretty self-assured, and this will really translate in the bedroom

- Knows where to touch you and is gentle about it, making sure to test things out first before going at it

- When he gets to know your more dirty side, that’s when he brings up stuff he’d like to try out. Try surprising him every now and then by telling him you want to try something new ( 　･ิω･ิ)

- Oh, his moans. SO GOOD. They’re soft, but so raw, and it would almost sound melodic. Would also chant your name a lot

- I can’t imagine him being loud in the bedroom, but he’d definitely be into dirty talk - I imagine it’s one of his top kinks - more praising than degrading

- He’s also into choking, unless you’re not comfortable with it, then for sure, he wouldn’t force it on you 

- MAKES THE PRETTIEST O FACES. WHAT I’D GIVE TO SEE IT

- Would lay on top of you (or under, whichever position you were in) for a while before aftercare. He wants some time to hold you while winding down

- Aftercare would be quick but careful - he wants to ensure that he’s got everything covered

- The epitome of Making Love, as opposed to simply “having sex”

~

Sorry for the long wait, darling! I hope you enjoyed all of that, and thank you so much for your patience. Feel free to pay me another visit, or just sit and chat with me anytime :D

Thanks for stopping by! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[darling-i-read-it]

Dinner Second

Dan Torrance x reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: smut, age gap (reader is in college and legal)

Author’s Note: I am in LOVE with Dan Torrance and AGE GAPS and UGH I just loved his request and you were so nice so I hope this is kind of what you were looking for

Requested: by anon, HELLO DARLING I HOPE YOURE WELL I LOVE ALL YOUR FICS AMD YOUR SMUTS WERE VERY GOOD DO YOU MIND IF I REQUEST A DAN TORRANCE AGE GAP (nothing creepy obviously lmao) SMUT LIKE DANS LIKE “lol I’m old tho” and y/n is like “lol nah you’re hot”

Summary: the request!

Genre: smut

(not my gif) (all the gifs where he holds the axe are like 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤)

It was really hot. You couldn’t put your finger on why because the sun was covered by the clouds and the air conditioning was on but you were sweating through your thin layer shirt. It wasn’t obvious yet, the shirt was jet black but you were hot. You stood outside Abra’s house, waiting for Dan to say his goodbyes and grab you a water. You were in the doorway, just between the two different temperatures.

“Yes Abra we will. Thanks sweetheart,” he said kindly, taking the bottle of water from her and confirming the dates for you and him to come over next. You hoisted yourself off the door frame and walked in, covering the distance between you and your water for him. The two of you lived in the same town a ways away from where Abra lived so you usually came together to see her and hang out.

You used to be her babysitter when you were in high school and she was just a toddler. You were in college now and had moved in right next to her new friend. You and Dan had grown pretty close in the long car rides to and from her house. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have feelings for the older man. You had known him for a little over a year now and had yet to tell him about your feelings but you were pretty sure at least Abra knew. It wasn’t hard to tell.

“Thank you Danny,” you said with a kind smile.

“‘Course. Ready to hit the road?” he asked and you nodded, swiping a bit of sweat off your forehead. It must have been the humidity. Definitely wasn’t your feelings getting the better of you.

“Born ready. Even fixed the passenger window so it opens again!” you exclaimed. He raised his eyebrows.

“About damn time. Come on, bye Abra!” he called back and got in the driver's seat of the car. You had driven there and it was only fair he drive back. You waved goodbye to Abra and she waved one back before you got in the passenger seat. The ride was only about 45 minutes but the second you got in you slipped off your flats and put your feet on your dashboard.

Dan started the car without another word. You were gazing out the window, one of Dan's old CDs playing through the stereo. You both had the windows down and didn’t speak until about 20 minutes in.

“You want me to stop to get food first? Or just mine,” he asked. You shrugged and turned to him.

“You have food at yours right? Can I stay a bit?” Sometimes you spent a few hours over and ate and talked. As you said before, good friends. Close friends. He nodded, running a hand through his hair. He had taken off the overcoat and was just left in his cuffed flannel. You tried not to think about his arms but it was hard.

“Yeah, I think I’ve got some leftovers.” You nodded with a smile. You started to ask him about a movie you had just seen and chatted peacefully over the music.

“No way was Pulp Fiction worse than Kill Bill! That just isn’t logic,” you said as you walked into his little room. You threw your jacket on a chair.

“Having the revenge story in Kill Bill made it more enjoyable and I stand by my statement,” he said with a small laugh. You shake your head, a playful smile and ready to fight for the movie when you turned and just so happened to be right in front of him. You hadn’t even noticed how close you were until then.

“Hi,” you whispered, the playful grin remaining. You felt bold but not bold enough to just out right kiss him. You thought about it though. You really thought about it.

“Hello,” he breathed. You didn’t move to step forward or backward. You didn’t move at all. You were pretty sure you were holding your breath. There was a moment more of silence before you saw him move back a tad. Just a little.

You snapped out of it and turned around, away from him to hide your blush.

“I thought that the Mia Wallace storyline was good though,” you said quickly. You turned back around when you thought you could face him again but he still seemed to be in some sort of trance.

“Maybe we should just agree we like Uma Thurman,” he concluded, looking at his hands. You took a deep breath.

“Danny I really wanna kiss you,” you whispered. It was like all of the air in the room had been replaced with tension. You wanted to take it back right away when he didn’t say anything after a second. But then he broke the silence.

“Y/N are you sure you don’t want to kiss someone your own age?” He didn’t give off the energy that he was rejecting you but instead that he was ashamed that he wanted to kiss you too. You fed off that.

“No, I wanna kiss you.” With more confidence you stepped forward, making him look at you with a finger under his chin. You fluttered your fingers down his neck slowly and softly.

“Y/N…”

“Tell me you don’t want it too Dan. Tell me and I’ll stop,” you promised. You locked eyes with him. Yours in his piercing blue. You almost forgot what you were talking about, staring into those eyes. But your hands explored his bare skin, his neck and then down to his hands.

“Are you sure it’s what you want?” he murmured. Your hands stopped on his, intertwining your fingers. You looked down at them and then back in his eyes, smiling.

“Yes.” He kissed you. There was such hunger behind the kiss that you would have fallen backward if his other hand wasn’t immediately on your back. He let go of your hand to finger the hem of your shirt. You were already working on his buttons. You pulled away to look at them, to focus to get it off him faster.

You managed to take it off him and he took off the white undershirt without your assistance. While he did that you slipped off your shirt as well, happy to be rid of it. His lips were back on yours, kissing you feverishly. You moaned and he let you fall easily on his bed, cradelling you as you fell back. One of his hands moved up to take off your bra and fondle your breasts which earned a gasp from you. He seemed to enjoy that and broke the kiss to leave sloppy kisses on your neck and chest.

“Oh Danny,” you moaned, hands finding their way to his hair. You tugged at the strands and he looked up, moving away just enough so that his hands could undo the belt buckle and slip your jeans and underwear off. You weren’t prepared for him to delve right in but were so glad he did.

“Oh sweetheart,” he said huskily, sound muffled by him being between your legs. You squirmed as his tongue swirled around, hitting you in just the right spots. Just as you were about to climax he pulled away. You whine was stifled by him kissing you again. You worked at his belt, allowing him to kick his pants.

“I need you,” you whispered against his lips and he nodded, hoisting you further up the bed so your whole body was on it. He intertwined your fingers above your head and with the other hand he positioned himself in front of you. He slowly moved forward and you heard a grunt which made you gasp.

“Dan.” He pushed himself further inside of you, allowing you time to adjust and then started a rhythm. You were already sensitive and your climax came quickly as he moved, hitting you in all the right spots. It didn’t take him long either, obviously still excited from the kiss and rush of the moment.

You both held your breaths and there was a moment of pure flying as you came together, your free arm around his neck and your hands still intertwined. He gave a few more thrusts and then pulled out.

He collapsed beside you on the bed, fingers no longer together.

“Wow,” you whispered. “You aren’t bad old man.” He laughed lowly and you turned on your side, tracing a pattern into his bare chest, relishing in the feel of him under your skin.

“I don’t do that often,” he told you. You raised an eyebrow.

“Which part?” He shook his head.

“The whole thing. I should have taken you out to dinner first.” You rolled your eyes and gave him a soft kiss.

“There's always time.”

“You wanna go to dinner?”

“I am kind of hungry.” He smiled and you smiled in response to his smile.

“Few more minutes. I wanna look at you like this some more,” he whispered breathily. You flushed and ran a hand through his messy hair.

“Done Torrance.”

[magioftheseas]

Hiyoko & Yasuke

Summary: Saionji Hiyoko’s FTEs in the SDR2 Protagonist Matsuda Yasuke AU. Yep. They’re different enough from canon, I swear.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Language...? Hiyoko’s still definitely a bitch. Matsuda is, too.

Notes: This was a prize for correctly guessing the reference in Chapter 4 of the main fic! Since Hiyoko deserves more appreciation, I cross-posted it to here. Her and Matsuda predictably bicker and don’t get along that well, all things considered, but they have an enjoyable banter and a surprisingly interesting relationship. Since I probably won’t be able to portray it to its fullest in the main fic, I was pretty okay with writing up this. It was pretty difficult tho so FTEs for the entire cast is looking like a far-off dream lol. If there’s interest in certain characters (and/or a request I accepted/a thing I was commissioned), then ehhhhh maybe more to come. Maybe.

Read this fic among others HERE

Main story is HERE

Commission? Donate?

By all accounts, this is a shitty fucking idea but...

“One! Two! One! Two! Left! Right! Left!” A giggle. An intake of breath. And then, she wails. “Waaaaah! Some fucking creep keeps staring at meeeee!”

“I’m just astounded you’re still not bored with squishing thoraxes,” Matsuda muttered, already questioning every single choice he could’ve made that would lead to being in this situation. “Do you have a vendetta against drones or what?”

But I guess it’s better than stomping crabs.

Saionji snorted.

“And now the weirdo creep is asking me strange questions. And in such a droning voice! I hate it!”

“Sorry, my baby talk is pretty rusty. But if you’re that whiny, would you be pacified with a candy?”

“If it’s lemon I don’t want it!” Saionji exclaimed, looking absolutely affronted.

“...”

Matsuda pulled out a lollipop.

“Orange, then?”

“Give it! I’ll never forgive you if you don’t!”

“Alright.”

Somehow, with that little exchange, a devil’s contract had been formed.

FTE#1

“Mm, mm.” Sickening smacks of the lips, and Matsuda really was wondering how things turned out like this. Saionji looked pretty content, at least. “Hey, hey, Matsuda-nii. You wanna know what I think about you?”

“I can’t imagine it’s positive,” he replied. “Even if you weren’t a yappy bitch desecrating our serene cultural beauty, I get the feeling you would still think I’m kind of a dick.”

“Mm...” Just like that, Saionji’s wide, watery eyes filled with tears. And she begin to sniffle. And she wails yet again, “I ABSOLUTELY WOULD THINK THAAAAAT! MATSUDA-NII’S SUCH A JEEEEEERK!!! A P-PERVERTED...SHIT-SPEWING...COMPLETE ASSHOLE!!!”

“At least most of what you say is true and everyone knows it.” With a roll of his eyes, he dropped a crumpled up handkerchief into her lap. “So shut the hell up. Do you have any fucking pride at all? Pathetic.”

“U-Uu. The worst. The absolute worst. You even gave me such a shitty fucking rag.” Irritated, she still fiddled with it. “Did anyone even teach you how to fold?! Oh.”

She quiets when she sees that there’s a candy tucked inside. It’s wrapped up cutely in pink and orange polka dots. Her face pinches up so much so she looks constipated. All the same, she finishes up her lollipop so that she can unwrap this new candy and pop it into her mouth. Bitterly, she seems to like it a lot.

Not that Matsuda is really looking at her anymore.

“You really are a pervert, thinking you can pacify me with that.”

“I forgot about it,” he said, shrugging. “But think what you want. I’m not interested in the line of correcting stupid, stubborn brats.”

She hiccuped, sniffling and blowing her nose on his handkerchief.

“I-If you were really sorry, you’d get me the sweet I really like.”

What makes you think I’d fucking care? And anyway...

“You mean those gummies you always eat?” Matsuda asked,  Just pick them up at the damn supermarket. You’re a big girl, aren’t you?”

“THAT’S NOT IIIIIIT!!!” Saionji shook her head furiously. “Dummy! Stupid! Perv! That’s just ordinary candy I happen to like! What I really like is special!”

“Shut the heeeeeell up,” Matsuda snapped. “If you want me to figure shit out, don’t be so fucking vague about it. Haven’t you ever been to a doctor before? Shouldn’t you know this?”

“U-Urgh.” Grumbling, she wiped irritably at her eyes, glaring back at him darkly. “What I really like is special, sweet, small, and shaped like a star!”

“Oh.” Matsuda inhaled, nodding in understanding. “Confeito.”

She nodded back.

“Well.” Matsuda rubbed at the nape of his neck. “I dunno what to tell you, then. They don’t have that shit at the supermarket.”

Just like that, Saionji’s face turned to stone.

“And even if they did, like hell I’d share any with such a bratty, yappy troll.” Matsuda frowned. “Do you really think that with a face like that, and if you cry, that you can just get people to do whatever you want? You’re not even a kid, you’re the same fucking age as me.”

Saionji bit her lip.

“Still, I guess confeito’s at least good taste,” he sighed, shrugging. “Small yet intricately designed, sparkling like the stars they’re based off of. They’re works of art, along with flower candies along with the kind of aesthetic treats enjoyed at a tea ceremony. Personally, I’m a big fan of Mont Blanc, too.”

“Too sweet,” Saionji muttered darkly. “Foreign sweets are way too disgustingly sweet. They’re uncultured.”

Matsuda gave her an unimpressed look.

“Even castella?”

“M-Mmgh.” Saionji fidgeted, seething as she did. “Castella is...it’s... It’s fine, but...”

“Buuuuut? What?” Matsuda’s brow furrowed. “What’s got you so bitter?”

Saionji got to her feet, eyes brimming with tears again, and she shoved him down none too gently. He grunted as he landed harshly onto his back.

“Big! Stupid! Jerk!”

He only barely managed to avoid her stomping feet and just as he glared, she had already rushed off, leaving him in her proverbial dust.

And what the actual fuck was that about?

He sputtered a bit.

Seriously what the hell?

Sighing, he shook her head. He wasn’t in the mood for chasing her, especially considering the shit she’d scream at him if he did, so for now, he’ll just leave her be.

FTE#2

Unsurprisingly, the next time he saw her, she turned away in a childish huff. Since he had time to think about it, even though he hadn’t really wanted to, he can figure that she was probably pissed about...being called out on her shit.

Predictable.

He would’ve just given her time to sort that nonsense out on her own, but Saionji kept sneaking angry glances. Kept sneering. Kept turning away with a childish huff.

Oh for fuck’s sake. What a goddamn nuisance.

So, in the end, he approached her first after all.

“Yo.”

“Gross.”

“I’m not going to apologize,” he snapped, unaffected by her look of contemptuous disgust, even as he retained his usual scowl. “So if you’re trying to guilt me, it’s not going to fucking work. Just. Letting you know.”

Saionji bristled, but then, she sighed heavily.

“Of cooooourse not. I’ve known that from the start that fake tears weren’t going to do shit on someone like you,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You’re awful. Super cold. The kind of person I hate super much even if it’s not the most.”

“Were those tears really fake?” he asked, unimpressed. “If you knew that it wouldn’t work, you wouldn’t have reacted so strongly.”

“Shut up.” Her expression would’ve terrified a weakling like that mechanic guy but Matsuda just met her glare coldly. “A filthy, shit-spewing asshole like you should just keep his trap shut.”

He shook his head, tilting it with a twisting frown.

“And you can’t even be bothered to say please? You’re about traditional dancing, right? Where’s your fucking formality?”

Saionji reddened with anger. With a stomp of her foot, she huffed and then, with trembling shoulders, she mumbled, “You really are someone I super hate very much.”

He waved his hand.

“Then, there’s really nothing more to say,” he said, and he turned on his heel. “I’ll get out of your sight then, brat.”

“Y-You really don’t feel bad or guilty at all?!” she sputtered. “Where’s your heart?!”

“Bedside manner is reserved for patients, and I don’t have the patience for someone like you,” Matsuda snapped.

“W-Wah...” Shuddering, Saionji’s breath hitched as her fists balled. “T-The worst. The worst. I hate you so much!”

Urgh.

“I don’t really hate you,” he said. “But I can’t exactly say I like you, either. Then again, with the way you act?”

His head was throbbing, which was even more irritated. It was only worse when Saionji wailed and wailed.

Urgh. Urgh. Why do I...?

“Will you shut up, you bitch? Shut up!”

Unsurprisingly, she just got louder.

“Shut up!”

And louder.

“Shut...!”

And louder.

“Saionji, for fuck’s sake!”

Saionji’s mouth shut, but she was glowering darkly and viciously. Chin tucked, with eyes hooded yet bright with fury.

“Call me that again and I’ll fucking kill you.”

And now she’s actually threatening me?! Is this the same gremlin or is it now the other one? But more than that...

“You don’t want me to call you by your name?” A pause. “Your family name? What? Is your family that bad? Well, the rotten apple doesn’t fall far from...”

He ends up trailing off as she scoffed, lips trembling, eyes glimmering.

I’m treading into sensitive territory, here.

“Just don’t use it,” Saionji snapped. “It’s an awful wretched name and I hate it more than I hate you.”

Matsuda opened his mouth to say something, but for once, he thought better about it and kept his trap shut.

...your family name, huh...

Saionji ended up being the one who turned on her heel and stomped away. Matsuda watched her, feeling a weird twist in his gut. Guilt, maybe? Gross.

I might’ve gone too far after all. Shit.

FTE#3

“Yooo.”

“Grooooss.”

Saionji sneered as he shuffled his hand into his pocket. Grumbling lowly, he ended up pulling out a bag of sweet buns and very nearly flings it into her face. Saionji’s expression shifts to unreadable, but she immediately opens the bag. Her beady eyes are expectant as she takes a bun and bites down into it.

“I actually should apologize for before,” Matsuda muttered, averting his gaze. “Family matters can be delicate, I guess.”

That said.

“I’m not really going to pry into said family matters, mind you. That’s really none of my business. So it’s whatever. Just take what you will from it.”

“Mm. Mmf.” Saionji chewed and swallowed, blinking at him a few times with those childishly wide eyes. “You really are suuuuuper fucking pitiful, huh? You have no grace in apologizing at all!”

Matsuda grumbled.

It’s whatever. Whatever. Just what the hell am I trying to accomplish, again? Fuck.

“Yep!” Saionji giggled. “You act all high and mighty but you’re just one of many unimportant losers under me! So you should just accept your place as a slave and don’t bitch so much!”

Matsuda blinked. And he held up his hand.

“You’re about thirty-eight centimeters too short and about a hundred years too young to make those kinds of demands.” He rubs at his nape. “Still. Sorry about earlier.”

“I don’t forgive you,” she chirped. “Not until you grovel.”

“I’m not that sorry.”

“Awww! Then what good are you even for?”

“Do you even remember what my talent is?”

“Nope! Why should I?”

Matsuda rolled his eyes.

Playing around with a spoiled brat really isn’t a worthwhile use of my time. I should just leave.

“You’re a doctor, right?”

Just as he had turned on his heel, the words gave him pause. Saionji’s tone was high and cheerful, but lowered in pitch when she clicked her tongue over the syllables of doctor.

“If you’re a doctor, then you should stay by my side.” Another click of her tongue, followed up by a giggle. “Don’t you know? Anyone with the surname Saionji is cursed to die.”

If he hadn’t been drawn in before, he was definitely curious now.

“Bloodlines are always targeted by organizations and are often subjected to assassinations,” she went on, waving a bun around as though it were a fan before stuffing it into her mouth. She had some manners to chew and swallow, touching her lips before finally going on, “Since I’m head of the family, I’m a target, too. I’ll get pins in my shoes, dead mice on my bed, food poisoned, and stage lights dropped on me. I’m in a lot of danger, Matsuda-nii. That’s why you have to protect me.”

“That’s w̴̡̫͆̃͗̓̃h̴̞̤͂͒̊͋̕ỷ̷̛̻̓̿̽̀...”

A sudden striking pain in his temple, and Matsuda was immediately snapped out of the moment. Grumbling, he rubs at his temple, and he grimaces at Saionji’s innocently blinking eyes.

“That sounds like you need a guard, not a doctor,” he huffed. “If that’s what you’re so concerned about, why not indoctrinate one of those two meatheads or something? Well, I can’t speak for their observational skills, but...”

“But nothing!” Saionji shrieked. “Those two are sooooooo boring! Owari’s so gullible that she’ll believe anything I say! What’s the fun in that?!”

“There’s also that I’m a specialized doctor,” Matsuda added, exasperated. “As not fun as it would be to turn up with pins in your feet, that’s not my field. I wouldn’t be assigned to work on that. Pins in your skull, on the other hand...”

Saionji’s cheek puffed until they looked rosier than cherries.

“If general health issues are a concern, then go for the healthcare committee chick,” he said. “Tsumiki Mikan, was it?”

“Mmgh.” Just like that, she went from pouting to splitting with a smirk. “She is really fun to mess with.” Just like that, her smile quickly dropped. “You, on the other hand, aren’t much fun at all. Just when you were showing potential, too.”

Potential?

“You really are hung up on your manipulative act, huh,” he mused. “What’s even the point of that? You clearly aren’t that good at it. You’re way too easy.”

“What was that?” she asked, gaze hooded.

“Playing dumb isn’t going to help, either,” Matsuda said, gaze drifting to the side. “You’re too obvious. Despite some shallow similarities, you’re actually nothing like...”

He stops. He blinks. Once. Twice.

Just...what was I in the middle of saying?

His head hurt. It really hurt. It was as if all his thoughts came crashing down in a heavy heap that dig into his head deep enough to pierce nerves. It really fucking hurt.

“Matsuda-nii?”

Saionji sounds as confused as she does frustrated.

“I... I-I need to go.” His mouth felt dry, head and heart pounding, thoughts in shrieking, shattered remains. “Right. Away.”

“Hey, what the hell, Matsuda-nii?!” When he took off running, Saionji yelled after him. “H-HEY, MATSUDA-NII!!!”

He could hear her, but it was detached and distant, as if she didn’t even occupy the same plane.

FTE#4

The next time their paths had intersect, Saionji was, as per usual, pretty pissed right off the bat. But this time, her glare bore into him intensely, almost searchingly, like there was something she needed to see and yet nothing yielded. She was frustrated. Still confused. About what had happened.

Which was fair, Matsuda had no idea what the fuck he was on about earlier either. Truth be told, he barely remembered it because he downed so many pills afterwards that he passed out. As it stands, he’s just grateful he didn’t get his idiot ass seriously sick. He’s still a little drowsy and out of it, but keeping his body active should work wonders.

He should avoid anything that aggravates whatever that was, which would include Saionji. But. Even if that’d be good in the short term, he had a bad fucking feeling about the long term.

And so here they were. Matsuda lowkey wanted her to stomp on his foot and storm off because this intense, glaring silence wasn’t doing anyone any favors. His head doesn’t hurt, but he’s tired.

So. So fucking tired.

“...you don’t know what happened either, huh.”

Finally Saionji does speak, shuffling so that her hanging sleeves press together at the ends, hiding her curling fists.

“You know...” She stomps her foot. On just the dirt. “You really started acting so freaky and weird! It was scary! You should’ve showed up with sweets to make up for it, Matsuda-nii! Why didn’t you?!”

“Urgh.” Glumly, he digs through his pocket and pulls out another wrapped candy. He then unwraps it and pops it into his mouth, making Saionji shriek. He only shrugs. “I haven’t really been in the mood to give away snacks that I can just eat myself. Sorry. I guess.”

“You pig! Your perv! Y-You pig perv! You’re the worst!” Saionji sobs. “J-Just the WOOOOOORST!”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” Matsuda swallows down the candy. It itches his throat a little. “So. Now that we’ve come to an understanding, we can just not bother with each other anymore.”

Saionji sniffled into her sleeves, shoulders hitching.

“I still don’t have any interest in catering to you,” he went on. “And I’m...”

Just so...so tired.

But he’s alert enough to avoid, Saionji trying to stomp on his foot for real. However she does latch her sticky fingers onto his coat.

“You owe me! You’re not going to just tap out, you jackass! Meanie! Jerkface!” She blows her nose on his coat, to his recoil of absolute disgust. “I-I... I demand compensation for emotional turmoil! Five bags of sweet buns! E-Every day...for a week!”

Matsuda’s response was to none too gently wrench her off of him from the back of her kimono. She wailed, and he doubted that it hurt that much. All the same, she only shut up when Matsuda muffled her sobbing with his handkerchief, pinching her nose until she blew on that.

“A lab coat is shit for doing anything about mucus, you fucking idiot,” he hissed. “And that many sweets will rot your teeth! Just how unreasonable are you? Not everyone signs up for brat sitting, so are you really that spoiled? Or are you just stupid?”

Saionji hiccuped but smacked his hand away despite keeping his handkerchief for herself as she continued blowing into it.

“I swear.” Matsuda grimaced at the stains on his coat, wiping it off with the spare handkerchief he carried around with little success. “If you wanted to keep hanging around for some unfathomable reason, you can just converse like a normal person. Like about manga or something?”

“M-Manga is...for gross pervs.” Saionji’s trembling like a leaf. “I-It’s for gross, disgusting, pedophiliac pervs!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

“N-Novels are way better!” she wails. “L-Like The Madness...of Nakazu!”

He does perk at that. Sucking in his breath, Matsuda threw his head back.

“I Am A Cat isn’t a bad read,” he mumbled. “It’s probably my favorite of Souseki-san’s.”

Saionji nodded furiously.

“Right, r-right!” She sneezed, hiccuping and rubbing at her eyes. “What a miserable, wretched time period! How sad for Souseki-san to be surrounded by...by awful, wretched, stuffy pigs!”

Your behavior isn’t much better than those ‘stuffy pigs’.

Matsuda sighed.

“Although isn’t it disrespectful to disregard an entire medium because of a few undesirables? There are works that put emphasis on long-standing cultural ideas and aesthetics.”

“There are too many works that don’t!” Saionji exclaimed, heated to the point that her grip on the handkerchief was white as bone. “They stress other super undesirable ideas and aesthetics! And they pander to such a low brow! There are ideas that far more deserve to be retold and retained in the public conscious! And with such an influx of shit, those ideas are getting muted and muffled, overturned and overwhelmed by what’s nothing more than trash...!”

“Hhh... I can’t argue with all of that, but don’t rip anything.” Matsuda waved his hand. “I’m too tired to argue period. So just tell me about Madness of Nakazu instead, you stupid brat in a kimono.”

“Gladly! It’s about a father who...for his daughter’s sake...”

And such was how he spent his free time. He still had to wash his coat afterwards, which wasn’t great.

FTE#5

“Matsuda-nii, you seem like the kind of person who falls asleep in the middle of performances.”

“Well, that wouldn’t be a wrong assessment.”

“You really have no class at all!” Saionji laughed and there was a cruel edge to it. “Aren’t you ashamed?”

“Not particularly.” He shrugged. “Performances like that are sometimes meant to evoke a sense of serenity, so I still appreciate them even if I fall asleep. The effect that visual arts have on the brain isn’t one that can be understated.”

“Oh, right, you’re a brain-obsessed brainiac.” Another cruel, childish laugh. “That’s so weird.”

“Understanding this is how we put to words the effect and significance of the emotional reactions the arts evoke. It also shows just how deep our biologically-ingrained empathy runs,” he rambles on, not giving her much thought. “For example it is believed that we map the movements and actions of others onto our own somatosensory system. When a dancer leaps, the audience soars. Adrenaline pumps in response to the sight of death-defying acrobatics and stunts. That kind of thing.”

Saionji fidgets, frown twisting.

“That’s nothing exclusive to traditional dancing, though,” she pointed out. “It completely ignores the importance of how in order to set my audience at ease, I must first be relaxed to my fingertips!”

“Yeah.” Matsuda blinks, rubbing at his eye. “There is that.”

“Traditional dancing isn’t just about showcasing beauty! It’s about evoking the feeling of that beauty!” Saionji exclaimed. “It’s about making everyone feel the same love for that beauty that I feel! Which is far more important than just the clinical explanation of it!”

Matsuda hmphed, brow furrowing.

“Similar to your passion for the dancing, my passions lie in those clinical explanations,” he snapped. “It’s rude as hell to dismiss them, especially when they’re the foundation keeping your performance afloat. Even if you moved beautifully, if people were incapable of that empathy, the necessary stimulation required for that appreciation would be unreachable.”

Saionji seemed pretty unimpressed with that.

“I shouldn’t have to hear this from someone who just falls asleep!”

“I don’t always fall asleep,” Matsuda griped. “I wouldn’t fall asleep during your performances, for instance.”

Because I do have a sense of self-preservation.

“If you do, I’ll publically humiliate you and post it online,” Saionji seethed.

“I definitely wouldn’t. I’ll make sure I’ll stay awake if it’s you.”

“...”

Saionji bit her lip, playing with her sleeves for a bit.

“Y’know... Daddy used to say the same thing, but he was way nicer about it.”

Hmm?

“I thought you didn’t like your family?”

“Daddy married into it, so he’s fine.” Her frown deepened. “But my family name really is important, as my hag grandmother used to say.”

Maybe she’s the disliked family, then.

Matsuda decided not to push the topic.

That’s not my place to barge in on. Family matters can be delicate.

But he remembered, vaguely, The Madness of Nakazu, about a father who went crazy in order to protect his daughter. How they lived happily ever after, and how real life wasn’t always that simple.

“I don’t like your tone,” Saionji said, apropos of nothing and ironically making it easier on him. “But, y’know, I don’t always hate the things you say.”

And how am I supposed to respond to that?

“Alright.”

Brilliance.

“You really are super uber pitiful though, Matsuda-nii,” Saionji said, eyes wide. “But that’s alright. Once you accept your place under me, I’ll definitely protect you.”

“No, you won’t.”

“No, I won’t!” she laughed again. “Like hell I would!”

“Yeah. I’m not surprised.”

But, y’know... I think I have a pretty good picture of your character.

“If you do fall asleep in the middle of my performance,” Saionji said, lowly and seriously. “I’ll never, ever forgive you.”

“I won’t, I won’t.”

All things considered, I guess we’ve gotten to know each other reasonably well. I don’t see us getting all that close for obvious reasons. This bitch is still a major pain in the ass and ears with her shrill whining, but...

“Promise you won’t! Swear on your life!”

“I won’t.”

She’s not the worst person and weirdly enough, dealing with her is nostalgic, almost bittersweet.

But if I think too deeply on that, it’ll definitely hurt.

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Coming Home

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 4326

Summary: Simon Snow arrives home from work to his messy, tired, amazing family. Based on "a nap" request.

Read on AO3

AN: So this is the request I misread. I got the number wrong and thought it was first kiss, not nap. But it's all good because I had this idea immediately and it's very fluffy and cute. I love kid fics and always looking for an excuse to write more. Enjoy!

———————————————-

Simon

When I get home, I expect to hear the oven going and Baz’s classical music playing as he cooks. He bragged this morning about trying a brand new roast beef recipe he found online. Ever since staying at home, he’s been obsessed with online cooking videos, even though he’s usually too tired to actually make them. But he was very determined this morning, shouting about it from the other room while was trying to wrestle Tasha into her overalls.

But as I enter the flat, there is zero violin music, or oven whirring, or even baby cries. Wow, this place hasn’t been quiet in eleven months. (Coincidentally the age of our daughter.) Maybe they’re out for a walk. Baz takes Tasha out a lot. He tends to get stir crazy when he’s stuck inside for too long. The trials of a stay at home dad.

“Baz?” I say, very quietly in case Tasha is asleep but just loud enough for Baz to hear. Thank Crowley for a husband with vampire hearing. There’s no answer though. Huh.

I carefully place my bag next to the entrance, then take off my shoes. As I walk down the hall, I navigate around Tasha’s many toys left strewn about. Baz says she gets her messiness from me. I always remind him that she is a baby. I bend my head around the corner into the living room, and my heart instantly melts.

No wonder Baz isn’t in the kitchen. He’s right there, sprawled out on his back on the couch with messy hair and lazy clothes. He’s sleeping very lightly if his rapid eye movement is any clue. His right arm is hanging off the edge with some thick book in it while his other is on his chest. Or more accurately, placed lightly on Tasha’s back as she sleeps on top of him. She’s dressed in that duck onesie she loves so much, laying completely still and snoring softly. She looks like an adorable little freckled bean topped with a mess of tiny black curls. And they look far too adorable for words. I can’t help put snap a picture on my phone. Looks like I’ve got a new lock screen.

I walk over and kneel near his face. I put a piece of hair behind his ear. Apparently, that’s too much, because it startles him awake instantly. He inhales sharply as his eyes fly open, all his muscles tensing. I put a soothing hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, hey,” I whisper, “it’s alright, it’s just me. Tasha’s fine.”

He runs a hand down his face. “Sorry. I was reading and I shouldn’t have fallen asleep with her like this. It’s not safe-”

“Shhh, it’s fine. You’re a light sleeper. If she had moved you would’ve felt it. Besides,” I look at the sleeping baby with a grin, “you two look really cute.”

He sighs, but I can hear his smile. “Thank you. Though I think she’s the more adorable one between the two of us.”

“Hm, I love you, but I have to agree.”

“Aw, I’m so hurt,” he deadpans. He runs a hand up and down her small back. She yawns adorably, shifting against him, flexing her tiny hand. I put my hand under it, and her fingers curl around mine. Aleister Crowley, I never knew my heart could feel so full.

“How was your day?” I ask quietly.

“Quiet,” he replies. “Tasha and I watched some Postman Pat, then we went to the park, where she attempted to eat dirt again.”

“She’s curious.”

“She’s going to get sick.”

“Then luckily her Papa is a wizard, and a very good one.”

He chuckles softly. “True, thank Merlin. Well, after stopping her from eating dirt, she played with that Tyler kid. They still get along very well. Though his mother is also still relentless in her pursuit of me.”

I sigh, instinctively placing a protective/possessive hand on his arm. “I don’t know what else we can tell her. You’ve said you’re gay, and married, and not ever leaving me. She must tune us out to stare at your face.”

“What can I say, Snow? I’m irresistible.”

“Hm, don’t I know it.” I push my nose against his neck, and revel in the sigh Baz lets out. “Did you two have fun though?”

“Yeah, definitely. We usually have fun.” He makes a strange noise, somewhere between wistful and sad. “I can’t believe I’m supposed to go back to work in a month. It’s going to be so...weird.”

“Good weird or bad weird?”

He shrugs, a habit he’s reluctantly picked up from me. “Sort of both. Of course I love being with Tasha, and I’ll worry about her non-stop when she’s not right next to me. But it’ll be nice to talk to actual adults regularly again.”

“You see me everyday. Am I not an actual adult?”

Baz, my wonderful husband, gives me a deadpan look that silently says, “what do you think?” I return a large grin and kiss his cheek. He softens immediately.

“So, no fancy roast beef tonight?”

“Ugh.” His head falls back against the throw pillow. “Yeah, that’s not happening. After the park, Tasha had lunch and passed out on me while I was reading. It was too cruel to move, obviously.”

“Obviously. Want me to whip something together while she keeps resting?”

“No, no, it’s still my turn. And Tasha’s slept the whole afternoon, she’s fine. You take the baby, I’ll make spaghetti.”

“Huh, that rhymes. You’re a poet and you didn’t even know it, love.”

“Yeah, you’re not adult.”

I glare at him, but when he kisses my cheek, I immediately soften. He carefully lifts Tasha as he sits up. She starts to wake, dark blue eyes blinking up at Baz, and I can see the moment she recognises him. I love the little smile she makes.

“Papa,” she coos, reaching out to him, pawing at his face. He grins brightly.

“Good morning, little puff,” he says softly. “You had a nice nap, didn’t you? Yes you did.”

She giggles and grabs his long nose. She’s got a thing for noses, unfortunately. Baz winces when she inevitably grips too hard. He slowly pries her hand off.

“Her strength gives mine a run for it’s money,” he says with amusement and exasperation. “Take her before she tries to rip it off again?”

“Of course.” he passes her off to me. Tasha immediately goes for my nose this time. I try to pull my face away but it’s no use.

“Dada!” she shrieks, then babbles at me in her random made up words.

“Hi, lovely girl. Missed you all day.” I bring her closer, and get a whiff of what’s obviously in her nappy. “Whoo! Someone’s stinky.”

“Ha!” Baz shouts from the kitchen. “I’ve changed two nappies today. Your turn, Snow.”

I flip him off as I pass by with Tasha on my shoulder. She’s trying to gnaw on my shirt. Teething has been a very fun time.

I carefully place Tasha on the changing table. It’s very hard to change her nappy when she keeps trying to eat her own toes. I want to be annoyed, but it’s hard when she’s looking at me with big, beautiful blue eyes.

“Yeah, you’re cute and you know it.” I lean down and blow raspberries on her stomach. She shrieks and giggles, but also grabs my hair a little too hard. I pull away slowly. “Ow, ow. Papa is right, you’re very strong, love. We’ll have to teach you to use your powers for good.”

She burbles and goes back to sucking her own toe. My mobile buzzes in my back pocket, as I’ve been waiting for it to all day. I put a hand on Tasha to keep her steady while I check.

Penelope: Talked to Micah. He’s cool with ur idea. Talked to your vamp?

Simon: Not yet. Will at supper. Check out these cuties I came home to tho <3

Simon: [sent a photo attachment]

Penelope: Awwwww tired puppies huh?

Simon: Pooped from playing at the park and fending off single mums respectively

Penelope: Lol Baz needs “gay and married” tattooed across his forehead.

Simon: Yeah I thought the wedding ring did that

Penelope: Obvs not.

Penelope: It’s midnight here so I’m off to bed. Night Simon!

Simon: Night Pen <3

I pocket my phone and go back to my self-cannibalistic daughter. She’s gnawing on her big toe quite vigorously. I sigh and carefully pull it away from her mouth.

“That’s not gonna work, sweetheart,” I say kindly.

She smiles anyway, because of course she does. Tasha is a very happy kid. I hope she stays so throughout her life, and I’ll make sure she gets the chance. Her childhood is never going to be as scary as mine. It can’t be perfect, of course, but it won’t involve any group homes or super villains or civil wars. I promised her that the day she was born. I’m not ever going to break it.

“Shitty supper is ready!” Baz shouts.

I sigh and do Tasha’s onesie back up. With her on my shoulder, I walk into the dining room to see Baz setting out plates.

“You really shouldn’t swear around her,” I say. “She’s going to pick it up.”

“She’s not even a year old. It’s fine.”

“Fuck!” Tasha chirps right on cue. I give Baz a pointed look. He goes wide eye, then clears his throat and looks down.

“Okay, maybe she’s learning,” he says reluctantly.

I walk up and kiss his ear. He flushes instantly “Of course she is. She’s smart, like her Papa.”

He scoffs, but keeps on blushing. “Smooth, Snow. C’mon, let’s eat.”

Getting Tasha into her high chair is always a production. She’s stubborn and fidgety as anything, and hates being strapped into something so she can’t move. She squirms away from me and hits my face with her small hands.

“Darling, you have to sit in your chair,” I sigh.

“No!” she yells back.

“If you want to eat, you have to sit.”

“No! No no no!”

Crowley, fighting goblins and a chimera is nothing compared to a baby with sharp fingernails. After a lot of slaps and screams and scratches, I finally wrangle her into her chair. She pouts and glares at me. (It’s scary how much she looks like Baz when she does that. She really does learn a lot from him.) I sit down with a heavy sigh. When I look at Baz, he’s smirking as he places down the plates.

“What’s so amusing, Basil?” I ask with a slight edge.

“Just watching you get a taste of your own medicine,” he says, sounding annoyingly smug.

“Oh? And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’ve finally met someone as stubborn as you; you’re own daughter. And it’s fu- very, hilarious.”

I roll my eyes  “Shut up, arsehole.”

“Language, Snow. For the baby’s sake.” He grins around his fork, pointing his spoon at the eleven month old currently smashing steamed carrots in her mouth.

We eat in companionable silence for awhile. It’s nice, to be quiet and let myself relax. It doesn’t last long though, as Tasha needs help to eat her food. How human babies survive truly amazes me. She only gets about a third of the vegetables and cut up meatballs actually in her mouth. Baz attempts to clean her up and fails miserably.

“There's no use in trying, love. She'll just get dirty again," I say through the spaghetti I'm currently eating.

“I can bloody well try,” he mutters. “Merlin knows I don’t want her to learn your manners.”

“Hey! Not fair!”

“You’re currently talking with your mouth full of pasta, love.”

I wish I could protest that, but I’d have to speak with my mouth full. I settle for a Baz/Tasha style glare. He smiles back. I finish my food before I speak again. I need Baz paying full attention to what I’m saying instead of my poor manners.

“So, Baz, I’ve been talking to Penny-”

“Uh-oh, that’s never good,” he says with a smirk.

I roll my eyes, just like Penny does. “Yeah, yeah, shut up. So she and Micah would really like to take some time off, and American kids are still off school at the end of the month. And since Tasha has never seen Chicago before, maybe we could all go visit them that week.”

Baz raises a brow (he’s so good at that.) “Spend a week in Chicago, huh? So are we going to be the people who bring a baby on an airplane?” He’s smirking with a playful glint in his grey eyes. Bastard. I shrug in the most sarcastic way I can.

“Well, unless you want to leave our eleven month old baby alone with someone while we’re out of the country, Mr. Overprotective, then yes.”

Baz chuckles. “I suppose a trip before I go back to work would be nice. And Bunce keeps saying she wants to see Tasha more.”

“And Tasha wants to see her!” I turn to Tasha with a big grin. “You wanna go see Auntie Penny, huh Tasha? Wanna see Auntie Penny and Uncle Micah and little Lucy and Harold?”

Tasha shrieks excitement. She jumps up and down and burbles, spraying vegetables and meat everywhere. I’m not sure she fully understands (Baz knows more about child development than me) but I like seeing her smile anyway. Even if she gets half chew green bean on my face.

“I think we’re all in agreement then,” Baz says as he flicks carrot off his cheek.

“Wonderful! I’ll text Penny tomorrow.” I lean in to Tasha, tickling her stomach. She giggles and pushes at my hands. “We’re going to Chicago, Tasha!”

Tasha claps happily, mushing more food between her fingers.

“She’s going to need a bath, huh?”.

“M-hm.” Baz starts cleaning up everyone’s plates. “I made dinner, so have fun with that.”

I sigh. Baz keeps grinning smugly. He’s such a bastard, and I love him so much. I unstrap Tasha from her high chair. “C’mon, darling, time for a bath. Let’s try not to get Daddy completely soaked this time, alright?”

She giggles and starts playing with my hair, yelling in her usual baby gibberish as she gets me just as filthy as her. I hear Baz snort from behind me. I promptly flip him off.

“Don’t do that,” I whisper to Tasha. “Not until you’re older. I’m teaching you very bad habits, aren’t I?”

“Dada,” Tasha burbles with her big baby grin. She wraps her arms around her neck, hugging me close. She likes hugging and physical affection in general. Baz says she gets it from me.

Maybe I’m teaching her bad habits, but I’m teaching her good ones too. Guess that’s parenthood.

———————————————-

“And they all lived happily ever after,” I say, closing the book. “The end.”

“Again!” Tasha yells. It’s become her favourite word. We finish playing on the swings or reading a story or watching a show, it’s always “again.” She’s just a very excitable kid.

“Sweetheart, it’s bedtime.” I lift her up from my lap and walk towards the crib. She squirms as I place her down.

“No!” And that’s her second favourite word. Baz mentioned yesterday that most babies her age usually don’t even have her limited vocabulary, so Tasha’s language is advanced. He said that with a very pleased expression.

“Yes, Tasha.”

“Noooooo!”

I sigh and leave her there to scream a bit, let her get it out of her system. But when I turn off the overhead and the night light on, she immediately stops. It projects stars and moons across the ceiling. Tasha loves it. She coos and reaches out to try to touch them. I stand over the crib, just looking at her wide, curious blue eyes. I wonder what it would be like to see through those eyes. To see everything as new and beautiful. Baz says I’m sappy. I say I’m curious, just like her.

“Night night, darling,” I whisper, kissing her forehead. “Love you.”

Tasha yawns, then her head lolls to the side. I take one last look before walking out.

Baz is sitting on our bed with his book when I enter. He doesn’t look up from it though as he doesn’t need to.

“She’s asleep?” he asks quietly.

“For now,” I reply, flopping next to him with my arm over his waist. “Knowing Tasha she’ll be up in half an hour crying for a bottle.”

“Hm, very true.” He carefully closes his book and places it on his bedside table. I have my eyes closed, but I can feel him put his arm around me. His other hand plays with my hair. He feels a bit cold like always, but I don’t mind. I run hot even without my magic. So being next to him cools me down, and I warm him up. We’re perfect for each other in that way, along with others.

“I’ve been thinking,” he whispers.

“Uh oh,” I mutter, “that’s never good.”

“I’m not plotting, Snow. I haven’t ‘plotted’ since we were teenagers.”

“No, but you tend to get lost in your big head.” I tap his forehead for emphasis. “It can get scary up there.”

He chuckles, his breath brushing against my skin. “Don’t I know it.” He holds me a bit tight and it makes me worried. “To be more specific, I’ve been thinking about my mother. What with the anniversary coming up and everything,”

My eyes fly open. Oh shit. I scoot up so we’re face to face. Baz’s face looks impassive, but I’ve been with him for over ten years, and I’ve known for even longer. I can see that it’s just an attempt to hold back the sadness and anxiety he’s feeling.

“Right. It’s next week.”

“Yes, it is,” he sighs. “It’s been awhile since the anniversary has felt this looming. But I’ve been thinking about her a lot this year. And not just because we named Tasha after her. I wonder a lot if she thought the same things about me I think about Tasha. If she’s feeling okay, if she’s healthy, if I’m messing her up too much.”

“Baz.” I hold his chin, making him look me right in the eye. “You’re not messing Tasha up, I promise.”

He chuckles and pulls my hand away, shaking his head. “No no, I probably am. Father says every parent fucks up their child. It’s just the degree that varies. Daphne concurred. My mother probably would’ve said the same thing.”

I humph, gripping his hand tightly. The metal of his wedding ring is a ressuaring feeling against my skin. “Well, I think you’re doing a wonderful job.”

His face softens, half his mouth pulled up. And I consider that a victory. “Thank you, love.”

I lean up and kiss him, because he looks so cute and I bloody well need to now. Plus I haven’t kissed him since I got home. That’s a wrong I can’t let stand. He curls his hand around my cheek, cradling me like I’m special. I suppose I am though, special to him. That thought just makes me kiss him harder. He holds my other cheek as I roll on top of him. He pushes up my shirt and I go for his trousers.

Then Tasha starts wailing.

Baz and I both pull away with heavy sighs. Penny warned us that babies destroy sex lives and we didn’t believe her. But she was right, as usual.

“I’ll get her,” he says. “You get the bottle?”

“Yeah, will do. Pick this up later?” I smirks, and he copies me.

“We’ll see. Now get off me, please.”

“As you wish.”

I roll off him (reluctantly) and scoot to the edge. One big stretch later, I’m walking down the hall with Baz. He turns off at Tasha’s room while I go to the kitchen. Heating up the bottle is easy enough. I’ve done it a lot over the past year, so it takes just five minutes. But by the time I get to Tasha’s room, Tasha is mostly calm again. Baz is rocking her back and forth in the chair. He’s softly singing some lullaby as she whimpers.

“There there,” he whispers, “you’re alright, little puff.”

She hiccups and curls into him. I walk in and sit on the chair arm, lifting the bottle up to Tasha. She drinks it happily. I place my cheek on Baz’s hair. I feel Baz’s other hand on my knee.

“Y’know,” he whispers, “I can’t help but also wonder what my mother think of us right now. What would happen if she got to meet Tasha.”

I lean a bit closer. “I know what happen.”

“Oh really? You can see other realities now, Snow?”

“No, but I can imagine. She’d be here all the time, cooing over Tasha, helping us out, giving us unsolicited parenting advice because she was as much of a know-it-all as you.” He lets out a scoffing chuckle, because he knows it’s true. “And, she’d be really proud of you. For how you’re taking care of Tasha and the life you’ve built.”

He doesn’t answer. He reaches up to Tasha’s face and fiddles with one of her small curls, wrapping it around one of his bony finger. The exact same way he’s been doing with my hair for years. It’s incredibly sweet.

“You’re doing good, Baz,” I say firmly, “don’t ever doubt that.”

“Your grammar is still atrocious at 32, Snow,” he whispers with absolutely no contempt, then kisses my cheek. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, darling.”

“I love you.”

I lean in closer, putting one hand on Baz’s and the other on Tasha’s side. I never had a family growing up, and I never thought I’d get one, yet here I am. It’s certainly what I expected, but it’s all mine. And I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

“I love you, too.”

———————————————-

“Good morning, Simon!” Christine chirps. “What happened to you?”

Christine doesn’t give me the courtesy of letting my eye bags and dishevelled hair go without comment. She’s not great at ignoring problems, hence why she’s a good social worker.

“Baby was up at 3am,” I sigh. “I decided to be a good husband and let Baz sleep. I’m currently paying for it.”

“Yeah, your face make me glad I don’t have kids.”

I glare while Christine keeps grinning. She holds up a cup of coffee though and I soften. Whoever has caffeine is my God right now. I take a deep drink and sigh.

“Thank you, Chrissy.”

“Welcome, Simon. How is your little hellspawn doing anyway?”

“She’s good. Almost a year old now and cute as anything. Look what I came home to last night.” I pull out my phone and press the lock button. Chrissy sighs because she's used to it. Yes, I’m that annoying person who has a hundred pictures of their kid and spouse and shows them off to my boss. And right on the lock screen are Baz and Tasha fast asleep together.

“Awwwww,” Chrissy coos, only slightly sarcastic. “What sweeties.”

“I know right? They’re adorable. Also, I gotta ask you something.” She gives me a curious look. “Can I have the last week of the month off?”

“May I ask why?”

“Well, Baz’s leave is up next month. We want to do something before he’s back at work and Tasha goes to daycare. My best friend is in Chicago, so we were thinking we’d go see her and her kids that last week.”

“Ah, I see,” Christine chuckles. “You’re sneaky, Mr. Snow-Pitch. Showing me your adorable husband and daughter to butter me up for vacation time? Diabolical.”

“Hey! That’s not-”

“Sure it wasn’t.” She flashes a knowing smile at me, even though she’s wrong. (Well, she’s half wrong.) “Lucky for you, it worked. You’ve got the last week of August off. Go see your friend and frolic with your family.”

“Thank you, Chrissy!”

She waves at me dismissively. “Yeah, yeah. Just try to wrap up most of your work before you leave. Don’t want to have to fob off too many cases on others while you’re gone.”

“Will do, don’t worry.”

I watch her go into office as I take my desk. Once she’s out of sight, I take out my phone and shoot off a quick test.

Simon: Got the time off. Book the plane tickets!

Baz: Will do.

Baz: Tasha says hi.

Baz: [sent a video attachment]

I put in one earbud and open the video. It’s of Tasha, of course. I can hear Baz’s voice from behind the camera.

“Can you say hi to Daddy, Tasha?” he says. “Come on, say hi.”

Tasha looks up, blinking at it in confusion, probably thinking; that’s not Daddy, that’s Papa holding a little black box. Soon she smiles and reaches out towards it. Her pudgy little baby fingers nearly touch the lens.

“Papa,” she says.

“No no, say ‘hi’ to Daddy. You can do it. Hi. Hi!”

“Hi!” She finally chirps. “Hi hi hi!”

Baz laughs kindly and reaches out to ruffle her hair. “There you go. Good job, sweetie.”

I watch Baz’s arm scoop up Tasha. The camera switches to the front. Baz is smiling in that way he only does around Tasha and me. It’s bright and beautiful and could probably melt ice. And he calls me the sun. Tasha is burbling in gibberish, reaching towards the camera and pulling on Baz’s hair.

“Have fun at work, love,” he says. “We’ll see you when you get home.”

The video ends, freezing on my grinning husband and baby. I take a screenshot. I need a main screen phone background too. I don’t care if some people think it’s obnoxious, I want to see my family all the time. My family. The strange amazing one I always want to come home to.

Simon: See you two later <3

———————————————-

AN: Awwwww what an adorable family. I always believe that Simon and Baz would have kids and they'd be very good parents. And their kid would be a bit of nightmare because all kids are nightmares haha.

So you guys are awesome and sent me a bunch more requests. I can't wait to get to them, but just be warned I start full time work this weekend (kill me blech) so it may take awhile. I will get to them though with my free time, and I'll keep accepting new ones until the end of August. Thanks so much for the requests though. I love getting them and writing for them :) Have an awesome day everyone!

[dukeofishgard]

interesting oc questions that can be found here! first few will be outside a cut then rest under a cut! 

On a scale of “is occasionally forced to bathe” to “Instagram model with sponsors to hoe for” how involved is your OC’s Skincare routine?

Duke is super big on his hygiene. For one, he’s obviously from nobility so... he just grew up practicing good hygiene. However, after being cursed and developing a penchant for dying in horrific ways, he became much more obsessed with cleanliness. He’s always worried that he may smell bloody or otherwise slightly like death. So he takes extreme measures to try and keep that at bay. 

What are your OC’s food preferences (flavors/textures/spiciness/calories/ when and how they eat) and how did they get that way?

Duke has a pretty broad taste, and will try pretty much anything at least once. He does tend to be drawn to spicier foods, and heavily seasoned dishes as his tastebuds (through various ways) are not quite as robust as they used to be. So he tends to like strongly flavored dishes. He also tends to like meatier dishes as well- often with a good hunk of bread to mop up the juices. He grew up eating rich dishes thanks to his upbringing, and enjoyed sneaking into the kitchen to see how things were made. This made him popular as a Captain as he’d often find ways to spice up rations given during the War and often went out of his way to hunt for proper meat for his soldiers. Now as an immortal, he’s traveled all across Hydaelyn and enjoys trying new dishes from different cultures. Again as his tastebuds aren’t that great, he can tolerate most things. He’s definitely the type of guy who likes that one dish that the majority can’t stand. 

What’s something pointless/petty/unimportant that IRRATIONALLY ANNOYS THE HELL out of your OC?

I’ve never really thought about this because he’s such an easy-going person and isn’t phased by most things really. However, probably how Dracyn will tidy up his desk for him. Duke is, by habit now, just a generally messy person. He tends to just leave things scattered about on his desk, papers and such. So when Dracyn tidies things up, even tho Duke knows it should look nice and not a trainwreck, it annoys him because he then can’t find anything. it may be a mess, but it’s his mess and he knows where everything is god dammit.  What’s your OC’s response to being asked for money by a homeless person?

He will literally give said homeless person all the money he currently has on him, ask for the person’s name and then likely do his best to get them into housing and find a job. He does this often. On one hand he’s genuinely just that sort of person, but it also is another way for him to use the endless amounts of money he’s made being immortal. Better in the hands of those who need it more than him. Does your OC get lost easily? What do they do when they do get lost?

Nah. He’s got a good sense of direction. If he ever gets ‘lost’ it’s on purpose for adventure purposes. 

What would STOP your OC from Doing The Right Thing in a tense situation?

Duke is at his core, completely and one hundred percent a goody-two shoes. The only situation I can think of, of him hesitating is a completely hypothetical and would, at this point, only happen in an AU. And that would be if Dracyn ever completely snapped. It’s been a big thing between the two of them that Duke insists he could never kill or ‘put down’ Dracyn if Dracyn were to ever fall back into his old ways, despite Dracyn asking him too. Duke insists that he could always bring Dracyn back. So, again, were Dracyn ever to fall back onto his old ways, and Duke had to choose between killing Dracyn and saving people from Dracyn, it’d be a really be a stopping point of Duke not being able to make a very rational choice. He’d likely end up trying to simply hide Dracyn from the world rather than forcing himself to kill Dracyn. :\ But again, this would likely only happen in an AU because their relationship currently is very even and there’s not anything that comes to mind that Dracyn and I have planned that would ever trigger Dracyn to just totally lose it.

Realistically, could your OC (in their normal circumstances- i.e. at thier own house/battlecamp/spaceship etc.) keep a small child alive for a week if they had to?  A Dog?  A Houseplant? A rock with a  smiley face painted on? Yes. Duke was a father, and is currently once again taking it on again after marrying Dracyn, taking care of his step-children. Despite his heavy reservations on being a father again after the death of his children, Duke is quite good at taking care of others, and a good father. He also is fairly good with plants- he tends roses back home at Ishgard. If your OC had to take the S.A.T. tomorrow with one night to prep, how would they do?  both emotionally and academically. He’d likely do just fine. He’s a smart cookie, and emotionally, he wouldn’t really care if he did well or poorly. At least now in his life lol. Growing up he may have been more worried, but again- he was always pretty intelligent and studious. So even with only one night to cram, I think he’d be fine.   What would cause your OC to chose to do something petty/pointlessly cruel?

The only time Duke is ever pointlessly cruel is if someone’s pushed him to that point. I.E, when people threaten the people he loves. He’s normally pretty quick to kill an enemy, but you threaten someone he loves and he will get vicious and make sure it’s painful. He once shoved himself further onto a bandit’s blade and then jammed a hidden dagger into the man’s neck as painfully as he could. When Dracyn was kidnapped, Duke, despite getting injured, was one step away, had his stepdaughter not blasted the guy out of the ship, he would have grabbed the kidnapper and continued to stab the man repeatedly, over and over again. His cruelty is truly only shown when someone has wronged someone he either cares about or hurt innocents.  As for being petty, Duke can be very Ishgardian and can be incredibly petty and huffy if someone insults him lol. On a scale of “Complete and Justified nervous breakdown” to “Conquer The Entire Galaxy and become an Immortal God-Emperor”, how well would your OC handle being abducted by Aliens? He’d probably just sigh and be like “okay well this is at least something new and exciting after a thousand years.”  What song is 100% guaranteed to get your OC beyond turnt and will be sung loudly and embarrassingly, either in public or the shower? Uhhh, hard to say because of XIV’s setting? Ye old Ishgardian ballads? lmao idk! likely any song that gets performed at Lucky Sparrow, and likely a lot of the group numbers he helps out with likely get practiced loudly in the shower. What perfectly-normal-to-them-thing does your OC do that confuses/pisses off/terrifies thier neighbors? Showing up alive outside tending the gardens when the day before he showed up with various, mortal injuries that surely would have killed any other normal person. “But- you- you had a sword- sticking out your head! I saw it! In one side out the other!” “Yes well. I got better. Do you think these roses are looking a bit down? Maybe I should add some blood to the soil...”  Under what circumstances would your OC appear naked in public? When he was younger, his second in command, and lover, Etienne convinced him to run naked through the Foundation while they were back in Ishgard on leave. The entire squad was drunk and only wore their dragoon helmets. So, basically he needs to be drunk and the person asking him to do it, needs to be the man he’s madly in love with lmao.  What thing did your OC’s parents do that your OC wishes they had a better explanation for? Duke actually, genuinely holds no ill-will towards his parents. And it’s not even a matter of the fact that they’re dead and long dead at that, so his grievances have been to put to bed. He just genuinely loved his parents, and they genuinely loved him back as well. They did their best for their son, and their only real ‘fuck-up’ was the arranged marriage to Antoinette, but Duke realizes that they were tricked into believing she was sane. Other than that, he knows they loved him very much and when he asked for help, even when he asked for help to keep his children, Minette and Alitte safe- (a huge risk at the time) they always came through. How often does your OC “zone out” or do things on autopilot and how severe have the problems that have arisen from that been? Usually pretty often. Being immortal and living for so long, sometimes mundane things just sort of... start to all bleed together. He’s definitely accidentally cut himself in various ways while cooking because he’s not paying attention, and he doesn’t quite feel pain as easily as others. How strong or weak is your OC’s Impulse control? What’s the worst thing that happened becuase of thier Impulsivity or inability to be so? It’s pretty weak. It’s gotten better now that he’s remarried, and he knows Dracyn would be upset if something happened to him despite being immortal. But before he met Dracyn, he was incredibly impulsive and would often times throw himself into situations that would end up with him dead and or seriously maimed. These days he’s a touch more restrained if only because he doesn’t want to explain to his husband why he’s got a gaping, bloody hole in his chest. How does your OC sabotage themselves? Prior to getting married, Duke would often sabotage relationships and friendships if he started to feel cornered and ‘too happy’ His greatest fear is always seeing the ones he loves growing old and die. Sometimes he could handle it, other times he would clam up and simply... leave, with no explanation. Just in the middle of the night, leave without a word, and often go to the Fury’s Gaze in Coerthas where he’d forcefully and continually commit suicide as an extremely unhealthy way to cope with the feelings of loss and grief over once again, not letting himself get close to people in fear of their eventual death. What’s the trashiest item in your OC’s wardrobe, when was the last time they wore it and why do they still have it? Duke has many trashy items in his wardrobe as he is A. immortal and thus has to change his style in accordance with the times and B. He does not get rid of anything.  As such, he has some incredibly questionable fashion choices in his closet, and insists on keeping them in case they one day come back in fashion. How Dehydrated is your OC right now? Are they going to fix this? Duke is always teetering usually on the edge of dehydration. He’s gotten better about accidentally starving himself, mainly because he has his family he eats with every day, and thus, he eats with them even though he can go a bit longer without eating. Staying hydrated however, he can be a bit forgetful. As he’s immortal, and can’t die from it really, he’s gotten used to going without for longer periods of time, and sometimes just doesn’t recognize the signs. Thankfully he has a husband that typically reminds him if he’s looking a bit peak. It’s not intentional, it’s just one of those weird things he just forgets after being immortal for so long.  What’s your OC smell like?  no, not that “Vanilla and Anxiety” evocative stuff, realistically.  Body odor? what have they been touching all day? When was thier last shower? Did they put on any kind of artificial scent? I’ve always headcanoned Duke’s smells very specifically- and spoke about it under the hygiene question. Duke typically always has an underlying odd smell, often times like blood, occasionally a bit more... dead. This stems A. from his curse and B. the fact he tries(ed) to kill himself so often. He’s very self conscience about it, as he knows he may not be able to smell it himself as he’s kind of used too it. So he’s pretty obsessive about washing up. He typically smells of leather due to what he wears, and often like chocolate and cinnamon from his baking. He also probably has a fancy cologne he wears, probably a floral/rose scent.  This is also the reason he’s typically a bit iffy around animals, as animals can typically detect the underlying smell on him and ofc are like “the fuck is this unnatural dead dude.” Miqo’te might be a bit more sensitive around him too, but again- he takes GREAT pains to mask it.  ---------

feel free to steal and do yourself! tag me if you do cos i love reading shit like this!!!!