#vaguely aware of their bullshittery

[riftwalker-limbro]

i will Also report on brainworm cycles from Friend Fashion Show >:)

change made to my interpretation of transference therapy & how the mental state of a warframe works in general: the absolute nonsense the Orokin put them through when they're Shiny New, through some mechanism or another, erases their memory of who they were before (this ring a bell for anyone else this may have happened to?) (BEING DELIBERATELY VAGUE DO NOT ANSWER)

(oops this turned out long.)

this has various implications.

very convenient for annoying political enemies who know too much! :)

thanks to the killswitch that the orokin build into the warframes (if the warframe is not transferenced with in a certain amount of time, they risk going permanently dormant. when tenno start waking up again, a method is developed to remove this killswitch, but until then, warframes can be genuinely permanently lost this way), if a warframe does remember stuff & goes rogue, it is very easy to... pretend the warframe was lost in battle.

too bad for everyone involved, the tenno are much better at their jobs of Transference Therapist to the warframes than the orokin had anticipated (insert big >:( about children being used as therapists in the first place) (insert big :] about the orokin once again underestimating everyone who isn't them and overestimating themselves) and warframes regaining their memories is more common than those who are aware of this feature know. it is not a public secret - tenno/squads who have awoken warframes remain silent about it because this is Obviously Dangerous (tirse awakened verica before the old war ended, which is how verica was able to influence tirse to rebellion, with her story & memories) and barely anyone is aware of this having happened to someone else. also, it is dangerous, since if the memories are particularly painful, the warframe has a very high chance of going rogue for various reasons, so tenno who *have* lost a frame like this are. not very enthusiastic about it

warframes retain their personalities before they are awakened, they just don't... remember their personal history. they also aren't inclined to wonder about it very much.

post-old-war, as tenno awaken, and then awaken again, and regain their own memories, and realise they're finally free from the yoke of orokin supervision, awakening warframes becomes more common. this is a domino effect - one warframe who knows another who's been awakened will Start To Wonder, and many tenno who know about it find it inhumane to let their warframes continue to be without their memories, find it disrespectful to them as the people they used to be. before tenno are aware of warframe memories, they think the warframes are simply machines with a few quirks of personality that the orokin built in to be more adaptable in battle. the warframes and tenno alike just feel more able to just Be Themselves now that they're pretty much their own faction instead of under orokin thumbs, even though there's still a lot of ongoing misery in the system sometimes

i've also been turning over different fighting styles/transference differences during the old war and after the tenno re-awakening - since in the war within, we see that margulis pretty much locked away our void abilities before we ever became the Warframe Operators. things we, for example, were not able to do include all of the void powers except for the Puff we can do in the second dream, and the ability to do transference from anywhere except a pod. this latter bit i'm also giving an extra interpretation - kelth will not be able to transference-talk to a warframe unless actively transferencing with them (sign language obviously does still work) until they complete teshin's training in the war within. after that, through *jazz hands* void bullshittery, kelth is able to set up a passive transference-field aboard the orbiter, in which everyone (transference-capable entities, that is) can just hang out telepathically if they want, and bonds made within this field will last outside of it as long as both parties maintain it (this part is... subject to future rotations)

and now for the Really Juicy stuff that's specific to My Guys:

verica went through her awakening in the Old War, which is how she was able to share her story and memories with Tirse, who was motivated by it to help in the Tenno Rebellion (she went by Octavia in the period between forgetting & remembering. she picked her old name again, as not many warframes would end up doing, because she picked it once already and it was a good one dammit give it back)

vince was never in an orokin lab to get conditioned into forgetting, so he doesn't even know that this is a thing for other warframes. he does get his own flavour of partial amnesia though ✨ which has been discussed before so he's not Completely Getting Out Of The Misery

bruiser has Not been through awakening and I don't think I'll let him until after Sufford does. bruiser's awakening isn't very painful, it's... pretty mellow stuff, since he was a semi-volunteer, and it actually makes him more chilled-out - he likes to hang out in Fortuna afterwards (they were His People long ago and he wants them to be again) & help them out (subject to more rotations)

sufford's memories are Incredibly Painful. the subject of this entire post actually was the piece of the puzzle that allowed me to figure out the flow of the Sacrifice quest in my timeline & this whole post is basically for Sufford. i'm not sure if i should already disclose exactly what's gonna end up happening with him when he awakens because it will be a bit of a Plot Twist. (i think i wrote in the tags of a previous suffordpost that i was mulling over making him umbra - in the end, i didn't, is what i do want to say)

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 22 - Abu Dhabi

😭

Well friends, here we are 🥲

While it has been more enjoyable than I thought watching (almost) the entire season back, it’s also been very emo whenever the TV feed would cut to Seb and realise it was his last race at each circuit.

Obviously, I had to follow AD live in some way so I actually listened to the BBC Sport radio coverage for quali and the race, and then watched C4 highlights so I’ve heard the race in full and seen chunks of it (and I started full on ugly sobbing on the last lap at the time, bc you know, feelings)

Well, let’s whip out the tissues and see Seb’s last ever F1 race (😭😭😭😭😭)

How coherent will this liveblog be? Great question I have no idea

Also worth noting I’m watching the International feed, as I have done with the other 19 races, I’ll likely watch Seb’s onboard cam in my own time and blubber in peace

Also they really had Seb last on the F1 intro I’m not okay 😭

Less starting grid whiplash as I was vaguely aware of the grid order at the time

but SEB TOP 10!!!! 😭

argh, I’m getting emo already and we’re not even at the formation lap.

I genuinely thought I’d be fine watching this back, apparently not.

[Formation Lap]: Virtually everyone starting on the mediums apart from Kevin and Bottas on the hards and Gasly on the softs bc ?????

Also I find it so wild how close the battles for P2 in the drivers and constructors championships were like, especially when you consider how many more races Ferrari won compared to Merc

cut to Norbert and Antti in the AM garage 😭

[Start/Lap 1]: Lewis jumping Sainz at the start!! 🥳🥳

And Sainz pushes him off bc 🙃

[Lap 2]: Well that was a surprisingly eventful first lap, by Abu Dhabi standards anyway

I will not be talking about FIA bullshittery bc I want to be able to enjoy the rest of my day after this 🥲

[Lap 3]: Anyway Seb watch: He’s still in P9 💚

[Lap 4]: Bono sounding more done than normal at the FIA nonsense, a mood

[Lap 5]: And Lewis getting P4 back, noice

[Lap 6]: The Red Bulls being 2 and a bit seconds clear of everyone just about sums up 2022

Also like... having the final race of the season at Abu Dhabi is not the brightest idea bc the track is... eh.

I mean is it pretty and looks good on camera? Yes. Does it give us entertaining races? No.

[Lap 7]: Seb closing up to the back of Ocon, go get him!!!

(I am usually a pro-Estie Bestie household, but the needs of the Seb outweigh the needs of the many)

[Lap 8]: Sainz re-passing Lewis, I hate it here

but Seb and Esteban racing for 8th >>>>

midfield spice (beloved)

[Lap 9]: And Russell passes Lewis for 5th, I know Lewis eventually retires with a mechanical issue but I can’t remember what specifically

[Lap 10]: Lewis switching between engine modes and nothing works... pain

Meanwhile Seb is the filling in and Alpine sandwich 

yes I’m very biased, but I will never, ever tire of watching Seb race. It’s very beautiful to watch

And livery watch: Aston Martin under floodlights very very pretty

[Lap 12]: Another cut to ultimate Grid Dad Norbert in the AM Garage, and one of the AM mechanics sporting a very snazzy stache for Movember

god that shot of Seb trying to swoop round the outside of Esteban, fucking gorgeous

I mean he didn’t get the move done, but it was still beautiful 

[Lap 13]: I love how much the TV feed is sticking with the Seb vs Alpine battle, Seb and Fernando always know how to bring the drama no matter the season

and you know... it is by far the most entertaining action on track rn

[Lap 15]: and Esteban pits, mediums for hards

lol at Crofty saying Alpine had to tell Esteban and Fernando to behave themselves for their final race together, 

[Lap 16]: Lewis was on the radio saying his tyres were getting better????

This is the wonky timeline, rip “Bono my tyres are gone” 2014-2022

SEB PASSES PEREZ!!!!!

Oh, that sparks so much joy, Aston Martin 1, RBR 0

[Lap 17]: Meanwhile the rest of the front runners are making their first stops, but Russell had an unsafe release 😬

[Lap 18]: Anyway back to Seb vs Fernando, I genuinely could watch an entire race of them just cashing each other down - the poetic cinema of it all

[Lap 19]: Anyway Lewis thinks he has a broken floor so 🙃🥲

[Lap 20]: “He’s [Seb] entitled to fight Sainz every metre of the way” You’re damn bloody right he is Brundle!!!!

That’s my boooooooy

You keep that Ferrari behind you

nvm Sainz made a DRS pass

It was great fun while it lasted though

[Lap 21]: Seb in 5th, stioll yet to stop, iirc he was kept out for ages and ages bc ????

I love Team Green, I really do, but they are not immune to dumb strategies

also Russell given a 5 sec pen for the unsafe release

[Lap 22]: Charles pits for hards and comes out in 3rd in front of Sainz

Seb. Bottas and Kevin the only drivers left to pit

[Lap 23]: Lewis passes Seb for 6th, one last on track Seb and Lewis interaction 😭

Meanwhile Yuki, Bottas and Fernando are having a little scrap over 11th-13th

[Lap 24]: Fernando in 2010 🤝 Fernando in 2022: stuck behind a slower car at Abu Dhabi

ah, Lando adds himself to the “I passed Seb bc he hasn’t pitted” party

It’s fine it’s just bc they all want to see him and give him a proper send off right... right???

[Lap 25]: Seb having one last whine over team radio, which Chris saying that everyone around them is two-stopping, which means Seb is on the one stop

[Lap 26]: HE PITS!!! 😭

and it was a bit slow 🥲

“Is that Sebastian Vettel’s last ever F1 pit stop” Brundle please SHUT UP

Anyway it’s fine we get a Seb overtaking masterclass of making up 8 places over the second half of the race.

[Lap 27]: “Charles Leclerc catching Sergio Perez” Yes, good, excellent.

[Lap 28]: Aaaaaand Alonso DNF. (Helmet watch: no I am still not over his Seb tribute helmet 😭)

And speaking of, Seb just passed Gasly for 16th, the comeback is on besties!!!

[Lap 29]: Livery watch: you know what... I don’t hate the matte Ferrari under the floodlights actually. I will let it off just this once (though pleeeeeease bring black glossy liveries asap I MISS THEM)

[Lap 30]: Perez asking for Verstappen to speed up so he can gain some distance on Charles... if I speak

Anyway, back to Seb, now in P15 after passing Bottas.

And Gasly passed Bottas as well after Bottas locked up.

the replay of Seb’s mechanics applauding his overtake I’m 😭💚

[Lap 32]: Tag yourself I’m Shaquille O’Neal looking very happy to be seeing some F1 cars go zoom

[Lap 33]: Charles is almost in DRS range of Perez 👀

“Lewis is closing in on Russell is anything” putting that broken floor in it’s place, as he should

[Lap 34]: Ah, Perez pits. inch resting.

Lewis purple sector one, feels good feels organic

also helmet watch: Lando’s ultra-black stripes with the metallic blue is sooooo pretty. I love mixed finishes on helmets. JMD never misses.

[Lap 35]: Seb watch: they didn’t play it, but he’s up to P14!!!

[Lap 36]: “Question can you keep this pace with Plan C?” Xavi I will fight you with my fists

I genuinely have mild trauma now whenever I see the Ferrari team radio graphic come up on screen. The downside of watching the 2022 season across 12 weeks 🙃

[Lap 37]: Seb up to P13 after Albon’s stop.

Also it’s proper night time now. Yas Marina is pretty I will give her that.

[Lap 38]: Oh Lewis has been catching up to Russell! He’s within DRS range

“Let me tell you about Sebastian Vettel” We are Ted and Ted is us 💚

[Lap 39]: Mick and Nicky having a little spin into the barriers 🙃🙃🙃

Yuki pits, Seb up into P12!!

Lewis even closer to George since he’s suddenly somehow a chunk faster

[Lap 40]: ah, Sainz and Russell pits. 

Mick and Nicky now under investigation for their little spin.

Yelling. Sainz and Russell pitting puts Lewis into third. !!!!

I shouldn’t laugh, but the synchronised spin with Mick and Nicky is ever so slightly funny. Very dance of the sugarplum fairies.

[Lap 41]: Lance pits, Seb is into P11!!!!

Ted doing everything he can to manifest Seb points on his last race I cannot 😭

How has Teed been post-Seb retirement? Is he okay? Do we need to book in another Seb nation group cry and invite him along?

anyway, racing

[Lap 43]: Seb half a second behind Zhou!!!

and again he tries round the outside, doesn’t make it stick but it looks beautiful!!

Meanwhile Lance has joined the party after making his second stop.

[Lap 44]: and Seb makes the pass!! HE’S INTO P10!!!! 🥳🥳🥳

Lewis P3, Seb P10. We can stop the race now. 

“I forgot which letter of the alphabet we’re trying this afternoon” I feel like it’s a bit of a paddock in-joke about Ferrari and their strategy woes at this rate 

[Lap 45]: Perez passes Lewis but then Lewis re-passes him. That was fun actually.

“Like some sort of sleeping praying mantis” ...okay Crofty. (that was about Lewis btw)

[Lap 46]: Perez passes Lewis and makes it stick this time. 

[Lap 47]: *10 Laps remaining klaxon*

“Just tell Checo to go full send” Maybe I’m biased but if I was his team mate I would not find that helpful in the slightest adfvnifvfdvgh

[Lap 48]: “Sebastian Vettel is gaining a bit on Daniel Ricciardo” oh yeah

[Lap 49]: Finally Crofty is getting on the livery watch bandwagon, F1 cars do look pretty under floodlights

argh Lance passes Seb for P10, but granted he was faster 🥲

and Seb having another little whine, god I miss his sarcy team radios.

[Lap 50]: “Yeah leave me alone please thank you” CHARLES I ADORE YOU

You tell em hun, you tell Ferrari to fuck off, I’m so proud.

[Lap 51]: And Lance passes Dan for P9

[Lap 52]: Seb also catching up to Dan

also I forgot how late on Lewis’ DNF was sheesh

also also he just got a black and white flag for track limits svhaegheuh

[Lap 54]: Mick and Bottas having a very spicy little fight for 16th.

[Lap 55]: Meanwhile Perez is about 4 second behind Charles

ughhhhhhhhh and there’s Lewis hydraulic failure 😭😭😭😭

Pain, so so much pain. But it does put Seb in the points. Lewis we honour your sacrifice. I’ll join you to smash the W13 to pieces very soon.

[Lap 57]: I find it so wild that despite all the W13′s failing, that was it’s first mechanical DNF for the entire season. WILD.

the gap between Charles and Perez down to just under 2 seconds.

[Lap 58]: Final lap. and I’m once again a little bit weepy.

I do not give one shit about Verstappen show me Seb 😭

I’m literally just watching Seb’s name on the leaderboard.

[Finish]: Verstappen wins, no one is surprised. Charles finishes P2 and clinch the runners up spots in the drivers and constructors titles.

ahhhhhh Seb chasing down Dan!!!!

and Seb finishes P10. I am weeping at quarter to 1 on a Wednesday morning 😭

Well the race was very meh. Mild midfield spice with the proper battles for almost all the positions from P2 downwards. And a lot of it was down to strategy as opposed to actual racing. So overall a very average 6 front wings out of 10.

And whew, the 2022 season as a whole. We really thought it was going to be a proper title fight after Australia and then Ferrari happened 🥲.

However, my beloved midfield spice saved the season, with Alpine v McLaren and Aston Martin vs Alfa Romeo especially. Like honestly just ignore the title fight and watch the midfield it’s so much more enjoyable (especially with the way 2023 looks to be going asduhsui).

Anyway, the whole reason why I started this was to watch Seb’s last season and there was some great races, some very not good races, but I will forever be so so proud to call him my favourite driver (yes he’s still my fave after retiring this is my blog I can do what I want).

The 2002 season was certainly something. While the title fight wasn’t as entertaining as it could have been, we still had some decent races (Monaco, Silverstone, Austria and Brazil were my faves). And I think we all have the Dutch and Austrian anthems burned into our memories to come degree 🥲. 

Auf wiedersehen, and danke fur alles Seb 💚

[chisatowo]

The random card au udagawas make me feel like breaking shit I love them sm I want them to scream at eachother and I want it to be so so painful for the both of them

[stillwinterair]

My executive dysfunction means that I will sit in one spot for hours on end every day on the very edge of doing something but with the vague awareness of a task I will need to do in several hours, and that awareness means that the eventual task takes up 100% of my brain's task managing capability and so I will sit there and do nothing at all because I have to mentally prepare for something, like for example, making my fucking dinner and because I know the time will eventually come to pass in which I need to start preparing that, I cannot actually. Do anything useful in the meantime. Or even anything creative or for fun, and will just. Sit here. Worrying over a thing that I don't have to do for another several hours. And it is slowly driving me insane and making me an anxious mess all the time, especially combined with an additional layer of executive dysfunction bullshittery in which, in order to do literally any task at all, there needs to be a "transitional period" in which I slowly immerse myself in the thought processes of actually Doing A Thing so that the act of engaging in a task isn't abysmally miserable. I have a hard time doing anything on a whim, even for fun, and I have to sit in one place and think about it and slowly grease the wheels inside my brain so that they are at optimal functionality for the specific Thing I am about to do, immersing myself in The Concept Of It, and this takes, like, at least an hour, which means I spend 90% of every day in a transitory state between various other tasks, because something as brief as going out to get the mail requires me to transition fully into that frame of mind, and if I'm not able to transition calmly into it, then actually Doing The Task is like walking across hot coals while every inch of my skin is rubbed in sandpaper

All this is to say: there is a fucked up cocktail of mental eelness living in my brain which results in 90% of my life being spent not doing anything even remotely worthwhile because I am constantly settling into the brainspace of doing the next Thing to the detriment of literally everything else, and if I am aware of some task or activity sitting beyond whatever I'm currently mentally preparing myself for, then the whole process of that immersion feels pointless and so I will not do it and instead stretch out the transitory state for that other, future task laying hours ahead for an absurd amount of time

So then I can't PLAN anything, because if I start thinking about "what do I want to eat for lunch?" then I can't do anything throughout the morning, and god forbid if I ask myself "what do I want to eat for dinner?" then my entire day is shot because I will worry over it the entire time

[unnecessarybeltbuckles]

Kenshi, raising to his elbows on some distant and quiet beach, feeling a vague disturbance in the air from Kronika’s bullshittery: What was that?

Ermac next to him, lazily drawing in the sand, fully aware of what’s going on: Nothing to be concerned about.

Kenshi, flopping back down: Huh, okay.