last words
Rating: T
Characters: Maedhros | Maitimo, Sons of Feanor
Relationships: Maedhros & Sons of Feanor
Additional: character death, grieving, kinslayings, War of Wrath
WC: .75k
@feanorianweek snuck up on me, so instead of writing something for each of the days, I'm just going to have to go with this...
.......
“Are you so quick to turn your back on our father, then, traitor?”
It’s not the last thing Curufin says to her. There are plenty more words between them, in that fight that eventually ends with an agreement to attack Doriath, and in the preparations that lead up to the assault. But by some chance or other, it happens that ‘traitor’ is the last thing Curufin calls her.
Not ‘sister’. Not any of her names. Just that ugly word that hangs between them, that she keeps hoping they’ll have time to resolve, up until she finds him dead in a pool of blood on the floor.
Maedhros doesn’t know why it sticks in her mind like that.
The last thing Celegorm calls her is ‘general’, as in “As you command, General,” with a too-playful grin and a wink, when they’re discussing who will be deployed where just before the attack. Maedhros only finds out later that he’d disregarded her instructions entirely to chase down Dior Eluchil and fight him personally.
He’s still wearing that same grin when she finds him dead in the throne room, even though his wounds tell her that he didn’t die quickly. She wonders if he teased at death the way he did with her and their brothers.
She hears his voice calling her General, General, General, over and over till it loses all meaning, as she sprints through the frozen woods looking for the lost princes, as she returns empty-handed and deals out justice to Celegorm’s men.
The last time she sees Caranthir alive, he says, “The strap on your pauldron is wearing thin, Nelyë,” with such complete normalcy that she has to rack her brain, later, to realize that those were his last words to her. She can’t seem to take it in. Celegorm and Curufin had practically courted their deaths in Doriath, and she’d sought to save them from it as much as she’d sought to save Doriath from them. But Caranthir...she hadn’t seen it coming. She doesn’t think he did, either.
Her father, her uncle, her cousin, her husband all were afforded some kind of dramatic weight to their deaths, to make the world stop and acknowledge that something had gone horribly wrong. Kneeling in a corridor in Menegroth, Maedhros can only think inanely that it’s unfair somehow for her middle brother not to have been granted the same dubious courtesy.
.......
The last thing Amrod calls her is ‘Maitimë’. If he’d called her anything else, anything else...
But Maedhros hasn’t thought of herself by that name in centuries. She never gets to ask why he landed on that name out of all the many she’s had - a flashback to Alqualondë? a mere slip of the tongue? - because the disused name takes a fraction too long to get her attention, and by the time she turns toward him, one of his opponents has already put a sword through his ribs.
She pays more attention after that (after she’s screamed, after she’s laid waste to the defenders of Sirion who did this). She makes sure she knows exactly where Maglor and Amras are and what their situation is at all times after that.
It’s not enough to save Amras, who dies in her shaking arms, calling her “Amya.”
Perhaps he wasn’t talking to her at all, saying that - Maedhros’ face is more like her father’s, and the scars and cropped hair have left any resemblance to Nerdanel vestigial at best. But she still hears it echo in her mind along with traitor and General and Nelyë and Maitimë, so as far as she’s concerned, it counts.
She is glad, when it occurs to her, that the twins (the new ones, Maglor’s peredhil who want to be hers as well) never call her that in their quest to bestow a maternal title on her.
.......
When Maedhros goes out to fight in her last battle of the War of Wrath, Maglor stops her with a hand on her arm, and makes her eat something, and tells her “Stay safe, sister,” before she leaves.
There’s no particular reason to think that those will be his last words to her, any more than any other parting might be their last. But Maedhros still tucks them away in a drawer in her memory, just in case.
“You too, hanno,” she says, and ducks out of their tent to make for the latest battlefield.
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it's a drinking night. he just heard through the grapevine that family in heaven are incapable of remembering their family. at least, presumably, the ones who ended up in hell.
he knew he was alone, but it hurt a lot more when it was an impossible hurdle to cross. his wife, his daughter, eventually his son. his parents. none of them would ever know him again, even if they did talk when he visited, huh?
great.
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