#very goofy run cycle very excellent

[heysye]

groovy!

[coll2mitts]

#32 Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942)

Happy Independence Day!  Sit back and watch The Man Who Owned Broadway hold FDR hostage for two hours while he divulges his entire life story because Mr. Roosevelt has nothing else important to focus his time on in the 1940s.

The good 'ol US of A has a very complicated history, and continues to make baffling policy decisions (to put it lightly).  There is no lack of amount of dissenting opinions or criticisms proudly proclaimed against our country, and waving an American flag is a great indicator someone may be a bigoted right-wing nut job.  But back in 1942, when this film was released, we were at the height of pro-American propaganda.  There was no lack of Government made pieces of media, but Hollywood chipped in with Casablanca, This is the Army, The Great Dictator, Buck Private... Shit, the fucking Looney Tunes were making fun of Hitler.  We continue to make films about America's Great War, because even though we killed over 100k Japanese civilians by bombing the shit out of them, entering the war is probably the last time anyone would admit America was "morally justified" in involving themselves in foreign conflicts.

When we entered Vietnam, and with our country's atrocities now being filmed and broadcast across the world, positive public opinion started to plummet, never recovering to those WW2 levels.  Even attempts at a pro-Vietnam war propaganda, like John Wayne's The Green Berets, didn't produce the patriotic fervor the United States government wanted.  Right after 9/11 it came closer than it ever had, because there's nothing like a terrorist attack on domestic soil to persuade citizens of a country to give up their basic rights to privacy and wear mass produced t-shirts made in overseas sweat shops proclaiming "Our Colors Don't Run".  With the now 24-hour news media cycle and the amplification of all kinds of varying opinions, even during the Bush administration we could hear vocal outcry to their several war crimes.  Sure, we'll still have American Sniper, but nothing will ever come off as sincere and rousing as a bunch of mannequins waving an American flag back and forth on a Broadway stage.

Because boy howdy, this is excellently made propaganda.  Yankee Doodle Dandy is a fictionalized retelling of real-life actor/dancer/singer/composer/producer George M. Cohan, an Irish-American who grew up on the stage with his family by his side. The film is a squishy-timeline'd recounting of his rise to fame and wealth based on his talent and drive to succeed. And the in the most American origin story of all, its genesis may have been a result of its lead actor's desire to prove he wasn't a commie.

George M. Cohan is played by James Cagney, typically known for his roles in gangster movies even though he loved to sing and dance (I am convinced Hugh Jackman is trying to mimic his career).  The real life Mr. Cohan was annoyed by Cagney's initial casting because he thought he was too pretty, leaning more toward someone like Fred Astaire, who is as goofy as he is good looking.  Mr. Cohan was overruled, however, and by the time he viewed the film shortly before his death, he confessed he was a fool for his protests.  James Cagney is lovely in this - he's charismatic and funny, improvising many of the bits that had me laughing out loud. He also worked with Mr. Cohan on this movie, and the script went through a lot of rewrites based on his feedback.

We open the movie on an older George M. Cohan performing on stage as FDR in a musical titled "I'd Rather Be Right".  On opening night, after making out with his wife backstage in front of everybody, he receives a telegram from the White House from what George assumes is an annoyed Mr. Roosevelt.  Only then does Mr. Cohan question whether or not its appropriate to impersonate a sitting president during an active war as he tucks his tail between his legs and takes the train to Washington.

Upon being greeted by a valet that remembers George's first visit to the grounds 30 years ago, we're treated to the mental image of that racist fucking asshole Teddy Roosevelt getting so jazzed up by Mr. Cohan's rendition of "You're a Grand Old Flag" that he would gleefully sing it in the bathtub.  George is brought up to President Franklin Delano Roosevelt's office where a very well-meaning actor gives a faceless performance that will later be dubbed over in post.  The president praises Mr. Cohan's patriotism, declaring, "That's one thing I've always admired about you Irish-Americans.  You carry your love of country like a flag, right out in the open."

George informs the president that he inherited his nationalism from his father, who ran away to proudly fight in the civil war.  Not to shit on my entire people, but I find it hard to believe that Irish-Americans were passionate about abolishing slavery for all people back in the 1860s.  Mr. Cohan then takes this opportunity to kick-off the framing device by relaying his entire life story to a sitting president who clearly has nothing else to do.

Picture it: Providence, Rhode Island, 1878.  It's the Forth of July, and Jerry Cohan, dressed like a leprechaun and sporting the worst Irish accent that I've heard since I've tried to do one myself, is rushing off the stage and back to the house to meet his newborn son George Washington Michael Cohan.  With a baby sister, Josie (played by Cagney's real-life sister Jeanne), born several years later, the kids join the family business and the entire troop begin touring the vaudeville circuit as the aptly named 4 Cohans. 

They're making this poor kid play a violin on his head while tap dancing.  Lindsey Sterling could never.

Also, 13 minutes in and we've already got our first blackface performance. Add it to the list.

After snagging his first lead role at thirteen chucking eggs and flour at adults on stage, little Georgie lets the fame immediately go to his head.  He can't help himself from mouthing off to Ed Albee, a theater owner who makes the mistake of offering The 4 Cohan's third billing in his new show (even though it'll double their salary) losing them the opportunity.  His reformation comes shortly after he gets the shit kicked out of him by his father and a roaming gang of theater-going children because sometimes scrubs gotta get hit.  The family then spends the next 10 years floundering around from city to city until George meets Mary, an "18-year-old" girl who visits him backstage to get advice on how to start in showbusiness.  After fucking with her to test the waters on a potential grandfather fetish, he claims he can get her a gig with the show.

George rides his ego right into the next town, having his ingénue change her act last minute to a George M. Cohan original without informing the manager ahead of time.  The manager is so incensed Mary replaced the (mysteriously now drunk) dog act with untested nonsense that he fires her, George, and George's family.

"Drunk or sober, the dog act goes on in the next show," might be my favorite line in all the 71 reviews I've written.

Black-balled and suddenly unemployed, Georgie teams up with Mary and starts shopping his material around to whatever producers will take a meeting.  After several months of no dough (and with the goodwill of their landlord running thin), George pretends to sell one of his shows so his family will drop his toxic butt and tour without him to earn a bit of cash while "the show is in rehearsal".  After they leave, George continues to pedal hoping he will Secret a career into existence.

"Who's strong and brave, here to save the American way..."

While working the circuit, George teams up with Sam H. Harris, a playwright that is having about as much luck with selling his content as Mr. Cohan is.  They con an old man with his wife's money burning a hole in his pocket to buy a show about some jockey named "Little Johnny Jones" that George wrote because he was short and he wanted to star in it.

The only reason I know this song is because of Steel Magnolias.  I also had no idea those weird bottlecap costumes were a real thing; I thought it was something Mary Poppins made up.

TIL Mr. Jelly Legs here wrote "Give My Regards to Broadway" for this musical in 1904.

With the success of George's Broadway show, he telegrams his family to join him back in New York so they can reestablish the act on a bigger stage.  Gaining notoriety has also afforded him the opportunity to recruit big name stars like Fay Templeton, although she doesn't seem very keen on the idea since Mr. Cohan is mostly known for showy displays of patriotism, which she hates for some reason.  It isn't until she hears him sing a repackaged "Give My Regards to Broadway" as a love song about living 45 minutes outside the city that piques her interest.  The deal is well and truly sold after she hears "Mary", a song he wrote for his sweetheart.  When George comes home to his song's namesake, he proposes marriage to take the edge off of some famous lady stealing her gig, and she accepts because her only role in this movie is to be as supportive of George as possible.

The proposal is genuinely adorable, though, as she tells him she loves looking after him, and he says he could cast her for that part for the rest of their lives.  When she coyly asks to see some of the script they kiss, and then Cagney improvises the line, "Not bad for a first reading."

Mary is an amalgamation of the real-life George Cohan's two wives, and her song was originally written for one of Mr. Cohan's daughters, of which none are mentioned in this movie.  Mary's inclusion was against the advisement of Mr. Cohan, who would have preferred neither of his wives were mentioned at all.  The actress who plays her, Joan Leslie, turned 17-years-old on set.  Like, I want to reiterate, she was a literal child, and they had to shut down filming early when she was involved because she legally couldn't work at night.

Anyway, George M. Cohan goes peak Americana with his latest show "George Washington Jr.", which features cameos from the boy scouts, veterans, African Americans singing in front of the Lincoln memorial, that fucking racist Teddy Roosevelt, and a seemingly infinite amount of American flags.

After his parents retire to run a farm and his sister gets married, he tries to go "legit" by writing a 3 act play with no songs that bombs.  He doesn't have enough time to process his failure before a torpedo sinks the Lusitania.  George tries to tap dance his way into the army but they reject him for being too advanced in age at an ancient thirty-nine years old.  Instead, they argue he is much more valuable writing catchy propaganda for the troops.

After the war ends, George continues to make bangers (like more than 40 of them, dude's a workhorse).  At that pace, it was common for him to have multiple shows running on Broadway at the same time. Sometime off-camera his mother and sister die, with his father following soon afterward.  With his entire family gone, George processes his grief by quitting showbusiness and touring the world with Mary.  He then takes an attempt at retirement on the farm until his old partner Sam calls asking him to come back for one. last. show.  And take a guess who he wants George to play.

Now back at present day, we discover that FDR didn't call up Mr. Cohan for some late-night pillow talk.  He wanted to award George M. Cohan with the Congressional Medal of Congress "for his Contribution to the America Spirit".  Mr. Cohan is so touched by the gesture that he dances his way down the stairs, which is something Cagney improvised because he's in the top 10 most charming men who have ever been born.

Here's where I have the privilege of telling you that this is clearly not how the real George M. Cohan was awarded The Congressional Gold Medal of Honor for songwriting.  While Cohan was a democrat and initially supportive of FDR, he did not approve of the president's view on unions.  Cohan was a staunch union buster (sad trombone), so he refused to pick up his award for 4 years in order to avoid meeting with the president with the hope that his term would run out.  FDR eventually was like, 'dude, come and get this thing it's taking up space', and Cohan begrudgingly accepted it in 1940 out of duty for his country. Apparently all was forgiven once Roosevelt hugged him, although I'm not sure it changed either of their opinions on labor laws.

It's a shame I'm not a blind flag-waving patriot, because this film is delightful. It's hard not to fall in love with the characters, and I genuinely laughed out loud in several parts at their dialogue. James Cagney can easily take credit for the majority of this - his improvised bits brought Mr. Cohan to life. I let out a surprised yelp when he took off his old man toupee, threw it on the ground and stomped on it - who thinks of that?? He even reprised this role several years later in The Seven Little Foys (Eddy Foy Jr. made a brief cameo in Yankee Doodle Dandy depicting his father). Like with Barbra Streisand and Fanny Brice, I'm sure going to have a hard time separating Cagney's depiction of George M. Cohan from his real-life counterpart.

If you can stomach a film that whole heartedly celebrates this quagmire of a nation (and full transparency, I failed last year because I just had my reproductive rights snatched away from me and was exhausted from googling which doctors in my state would give a single woman with no kids a tubal ligation), it's a pretty entertaining watch.

My mother thanks you, my father thanks you, my sister thanks you, and I assure you, I thank you for reading!  If you’ve enjoyed this post, please consider helping me fund this project by donating to my ko-fi :)

[shifty-looking-sheep]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard Characters: Female Shepard (Mass Effect), Kaidan Alenko, Ashley Williams, Conrad Verner Additional Tags: Mass Effect 1, Fluff, Embarrassment, Teasing, acknowledging feelings, blurting out feelings

Summary:

Kaidan tries to deal with the most embarrassing moment of his adult life, and Ashley tries to make it difficult.

“The Council represents more races than I thought. No wonder they’re careful with newcomers.”

Shepard looked out over the ward arm, awe and fascination shining from her face as the lights of the buildings, skycars, and stars reflected in her eyes. Kaidan quickly looked away as he caught himself staring.

“They probably just want to keep everything running,” Kaidan reasoned. “It has to be hard keeping all these cultures working together.”

Ash quietly snorted. “Or maybe they just don’t like humans.”

Kaidan got ready to jump in with something diplomatic, but Shepard got there first.

“Why not? We’ve got oceans, beautiful women, this emotion called love…” Shepard said, smiling, as she looked back across the ward arms. Kaidan turned to look at her face in profile, etching the silhouette into his brain. “According to the old vids, we’ve got everything they want.”

From someone else, he might have thought it a sarcastic comment; frustrated, almost. But her tone seemed sincere, and her introspective smile made him think she was genuinely hopeful. That was… unexpected.

“When you put it that way,” he said, playfully, “there’s no reason they wouldn’t like you… I mean, us! Humans! … Ma’am…”

Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit! What had just tumbled out of his mouth? The bottom dropped out of his stomach as he looked over at Shepard, but his view was blocked by Ash, whose look of surprise quickly turned to mischievous glee. He speedily looked away in excruciating embarrassment.

“You don’t take much shore leave do you, LT?”

The mirth in Ashley's voice prompted him to screw his eyes shut, thoroughly humiliated and wishing he was literally anywhere else. It was that very specific feeling of self-loathing when the wrongness of something you’ve just said is wedged in your gut. What a complete and utter idiot! Had he honestly just implied, to his CO’s face, that he thought she was beautiful? He felt like a college freshman accidentally letting slip that he had a crush on his professor. To his professor. First, he activates some ancient beacon on Eden Prime, and she has to throw him out of the way, and now he admits he thinks she’s beautiful. He’ll be lucky if he’s not transferred off the Normandy by the end of the Citadel’s day cycle. Or worse, the butt of every joke made in the Normandy mess for the remainder of the mission. He can hear them now: Seems Alenko likes powerful women – surprised he hasn’t made a move on the Dalatrass; Is it just Shepard he’s interested in, or does he chase after anyone with a Star of Terra? What’s Alenko’s favourite sexual position? – CO.

“Alright, laugh it up, Chief,” Shepard said, ever so slightly admonishingly. She turned to Kaidan and he tried to read her expression and failed. Entirely neutral commander-face, but not without empathy.

“I appreciate the thought, Alenko, but we’re on duty here.”

“Aaa…” he paused. She appreciates the thought?! What did that mean?! She appreciates a compliment, or she appreciates a compliment from him? No, for god’s sake he needed to pull himself together and move on from this hiccup. He’d just mortified himself with a Freudian slip; this wasn’t the time to start reading into every word Shepard said. He needed a total reset. She wasn’t a romantic prospect; she was his boss. Mind on the mission, Lieutenant.

“Aye, aye, ma’am,” he managed to croak out, feeling a blush rising to his cheeks.

He heard Ash fighting back a laugh. “I’ll walk drag, ma’am.”

He opened his eyes to glare at her, but she just waggled her eyebrows in response. Thankfully Shepard didn’t see it, and didn’t respond to Ash’s jibe. He didn’t know if he’d expected her to. In their only real conversation so far, Shepard had been friendly and sincere, if a little… detached? Self-conscious of her new rank, perhaps? This had been her first time as an XO, and then promoted to CO almost immediately, so perhaps she wasn’t sure how familiar to be with her officers? Anderson hadn’t exactly been a stickler for protocol and rank, but he’d probably have chewed the Chief out for a comment like that. Perhaps Shepard found Kaidan's slip-up funny as well, but he suspected she just had a higher tolerance for a little off-topic chat than most commanding officers.

The Commander had already turned and was making her way across the walkway to the market area. She was striding purposefully, but not overly quickly. Her earlier comments about the Citadel seemed to imply that this was her first visit, and despite there being a job for them to do, she was still a tourist. He caught her turn to look at a group who were chatting near the entrance to a club: two elcor, two asari and a volus. It wasn’t a stare; just a curious glance. Interested in alien culture then? Or simply not been around so many different races before?

He was pulled out of his musings by the sound of giggling over his left shoulder, and he turned to see Ash’s grinning face shaking back and forth.

Kaidan’s face flushed an even deeper scarlet. He’d been staring again, and now that Ash was on to him, he needed to get it together.

No! Not ‘on to him’. There was nothing to be ‘on to’. He didn’t have a crush on Shepard. He was 32; he didn’t have inappropriate crushes like a 20-year-old. He was just dispassionately interested in an interesting person. It made sense to learn as much as you could about your CO, right? It would help him work with her on the battlefield; be able to anticipate her movements. And knowing something about her background and values would allow him to anticipate what she’d likely prioritise, what advice she’d appreciate, how he could best support her…

So far, she’d been a little difficult to read. Anderson had been an open book; his service history told the story of a driven soldier and born leader. Beloved by those under his command, and promoted steadily through hard work and frequent commendations. He kept an appropriate, professional distance from the rest of the crew; didn’t give personal details but radiated a warmth and genuine friendliness that made you feel like you knew him. He made his expectations of the crew very clear and was a straight-shooter. Clearly not a political man. A soldier’s soldier.

But Shepard… he couldn’t tell yet. She’d been round the ship talking to everyone already; learnt names; checked on everyone after Eden Prime. So, caring then. But she also hadn’t really said anything about herself, and her demeanour was entirely unreadable. Not stony; certainly not icy, but not exactly open either.

He’d looked up her service history when he’d joined the Normandy, since he wanted to know who he was working for. Unlike Anderson’s, hers was a little harder to decipher. She’d joined the Alliance early, excelled in combat training, had a number of commendations from various high-profile missions: she'd kept her CO alive during a raid on a red-sand smuggling base out in the Terminus; single-handedly held off the smugglers until the extraction team could make it to them. It’s the sort of stuff the Alliance made a big song and dance about; they obviously had after her heroics on Elysium. But this earlier heroic moment seemed to have slipped under the radar. Maybe Shepard hadn’t wanted to be made the centre of a media circus? It would have taken a strong will to have denied the Alliance’s media department a new poster girl. The thought made him smirk.

“Seriously, LT?” Ash whispered. “You made it about five minutes there before you got that goofy heart-eyes look again. I feel bad teasing you about it; it’s too easy to be fun.”

He gave her a look he hoped was serious and annoyed enough to put an end to it. He was technically her superior officer, after all. She didn’t seem deterred though, meeting his look head on with a satisfied smirk.

Had he really gone back to thinking about Shepard so quickly? Maybe Ashley had a point. Shit. This was bad.

While he’d been in his head trying to rationalise his now undeniable fascination with his CO, Kaidan hadn’t noticed that they’d made a detour past the group of aliens and up towards the club: ‘Flux’, the sign read. The sound of bass and chat reached them from down the corridor, but not too loud. It seemed that this early in the day it was mostly gamblers and drinkers rather than the partying crowd.

They made it through the doorway into a fairly small bar area. Shepard started looking around, then stopped as her eyes lighted on the bartender who was waving her over. Kaidan and Ash held back by the doors; there was little fear of a fight breaking out somewhere as public as this, and stomping around a bar in full combat armour toting several different guns apiece didn’t tend to make the punters comfortable. A few had already given them some looks ranging from mildly curious to extremely worried.

“So, this is an interesting development.”

Ash was looking at him and smiling, but not unkindly. He crossed his arms, then uncrossed them, fidgeting with them at his sides before deciding to cross them again. This topic didn’t need to make him feel nervous; he just needed to convince the Chief that it had been a simple slip-of-the-tongue, and they could move on and away from his humiliation.

Ash leaned in conspiratorially. “For what it’s worth, I think you two would be cute together. And your kids would be gorgeous!”

He groaned, and put his hand to his forehead. He could feel a headache coming on.

“It’s not… I don’t... I mean...”

Ashley raised an eyebrow and gave him a pointed look. “Hmmm, sure.”

Kaidan sighed. “Buy you a drink if you promise not to tell anyone on the Normandy about my foot-in-mouth disease.”

“Oooo, I don’t know about that, LT. I might need to be a pretty fancy cocktail to buy my silence.”

“Worth it.”

It would have to wait for another time though, as Shepard was making her way back to them at the doors. They followed along behind her as they made their way back down the corridor.

“We need to drop by a club called Chora's Den after we’re done with Chorban,” she sighed. “The bartender’s sister is a C-Sec informant, and it looks like she might be in trouble. It’ll give us a chance to drop in on this ‘Fist’ character as well.”

“Aye, aye, ma’am,” Ash and Kaidan replied in unison.

They approached the far end of the walkway and started making their way across the upper market. If their informant was correct, Chorban should be in the lower market. They had no idea what to expect, but he could well be armed and dangerous. Kaidan didn’t like meeting in such a public and crowded place, but he trusted Shepard’s judgement that she could fix this with diplomacy. As they peeled their way through the crowd, Kaidan clocked someone at the top of the stairs looking in their direction. Human, male, possibly in his late 40s, and eyes fixed on Shepard. Kaidan put his hand on his sidearm.

“Wow! It’s you!”

The man waved and took a step forward, partially blocking their way down the stairs. Shepard’s shoulders tensed, but she walked over to the man without taking a defensive posture. Kaidan’s hand remained on his pistol.

“You’re Commander Shepard!” the man said, in a voice dripping in sycophantic joy. “The hero of Eden Prime! I am so honoured to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you.” Shepard shook the man’s hand firmly, a slightly forced smile on her face but a friendly tone to her voice. Kaidan guessed this wasn’t the first time this had happened, considering how high-profile she was. “And you are…?”

“My name is Conrad. Conrad Verner. They say you killed more than a hundred geth on Eden Prime!”

The man didn’t seem like a threat, and Kaidan relaxed a little, but he didn’t like the desperation in his voice, or the dark feeling of dislike he immediately felt for this man.

Shepard shrugged. “I spent most of the time trying to stay alive and help the colonists.”

Conrad nodded, but in that way that makes it seem like you didn’t hear anything the person just said. Kaidan glanced at the time on his omnitool. This wasn’t really a distraction they needed just before they walked into what could be a firefight.

“Hey, I know you’re pretty busy,” Conrad said, “but do you have time for a quick autograph?”

Shepard seemed a little embarrassed, as a slight blush coloured the side of her cheek. Her skin was already a warm coffee-colour, but with the blush she looked… stunning.

Ash leaned in close enough to whisper without the Commander overhearing. “How does it feel to see the competition. For my money, I think you probably have the edge.”

Kaidan turned his shocked intake of breath into a cough, and looked daggers at Ashley. Again. But then, she’d also got him pegged: he had felt the tiniest spark of jealousy. What was happening to him?!

Shepard had just finished signing the datapad that Conrad had pressed into her hands, and handed it back with a smile.

“Anything for a fan. Here.”

“Thanks,” Conrad said, his eyes out on stalks as he stared at the datapad. “I really appreciate it. My… wife is going to be so impressed.”

Ash rolled her eyes.

“I’ll let you get back to work, but next time you’re on Earth, I’d love to buy you a drink. Thanks again!”

Kaidan followed the Commander towards the stairs down to the lower markets, as Conrad walked in the other direction. Ash was typing something on her omnitool, and Kaidan got the ping of a message a moment later.

 Figure you’re going to be that guy in 20 years?

Kaidan swung from feeling angry to simply contrite. Kicking up a fuss about a joke was never a good look, particularly if you wanted the joke to go away. And it needed to go away, because if it had been so immediately obvious to Ashley every time he’d unconsciously stared at the Commander, the others were going to see it to; especially if they were primed to look for it. This couldn’t go further than Ash.

 He doesn’t have my bone structure.

The Chief barked a little laugh, and Shepard gave her a curious glance, but they continued walking in silence.

As they rounded the corner and entered the lower markets, they could see Chorban up ahead, flanked by some heavily-armed salarian bodyguards. Shepard walked up to him with that same purposeful march, seemingly unperturbed by the heavies. Ash had unholstered her rifle, and was holding it across her body, and Kaidan created a weak biotic barrier around himself, just to let the goons know what they were up against if they decided to attack. They both looked considerably more nervous after taking in Kaidan and Ashley’s preparations.

Shepard was listening to Chorban and asking pointed questions, trying to calmly get to the bottom of what sounded like a ridiculous miscommunication got completely out of hand. She was so direct, authoritative, but not pushy or intimidating. Chorban spilled his guts.

Before Kaidan could really process what was being said, Shepard was already moving away and towards the elevator back up to the Presidium, but as she walked past Kaidan she caught him dropping his biotic barrier and did a little double-take. Odd; she’d seen him use his biotics several times on Eden Prime, but perhaps not that close. He knew his usually hazel eyes turned blue when he used his biotics, so maybe that’s what she’d seen. Her eyes had met his and flown wide before she'd quickly looked away.

As they entered the elevator, she turned around as he walked in, and again she met his eyes and then snapped away. Was that… embarrassment? She was blushing, and it had been several minutes since the autograph incident, so it didn’t seem likely that it was still from that. What was she thinking about?

As the elevator doors closed, Kaidan’s mind was whirring away at light speed. He recalled how she’d got slightly flustered when speaking to him in the med-bay after Eden Prime. After he’d said he carried her back to the ship. No, he shouldn’t read too much into it. Indulging in some puppy-love fantasy about his CO couldn’t lead anywhere good. He got another ping on his omnitool.

 Hmmm. Seems you’re not the only one nursing a crush, LT.

As he looked at Ashley, she shrugged and nodded towards Shepard’s back, as she was awkwardly crossing and uncrossing her arms. A reflex he knew well.

It threw a tiny piece of kindling onto the flame he’d spent the last half an hour or so trying to starve of oxygen. He was going to need to buy Ash an insane number of cocktails to get her to keep all this quiet… but the idea that there was something to keep quiet, something real, made his stomach do a backflip.

“Disgusting,” Ash whispered, but this time he didn’t object, he just smiled a little bit wider.

Yup, a shitload of cocktails.

Notes:  

I haven't been writing very long, and I REALLY want to improve; if you do have any constructive criticism, it would absolutely be welcomed and I would be really grateful 😁

[bmaxwell]

Best Games of 2009-2010

When I looked at the game releases for 2010, I thought I was going to have to start consolidating entries from here on out. As it turns out 2010 just sucked. So:

Best Games of 2010

1. Heavy Rain

I know David Cage is a boner. I know he fancies himself an auteur, though he wields his creative pen like a meat cleaver, hewing and hacking delicate subjects into heavy handed, club-you-over the head subtlety. The thing is, I find the moment to moment decisions and tense situations to be enthralling, despite myself. I love the way the games force you to make quick choices and live with the outcome of your choices and actions. Dude needs an editor though, I think he has the George Lucas problem.

Yup, that’s it, that’s all of them.

Best Games of 2009

10. Crystal Defenders

I like tower defense games, and this is one. With little Final Fantasy people. 

9. Borderlands

The first shlooter? I think that title actually goes to Hellgate London. Anyway Borderlands, despite being not my kind of game, provided some coop fun on the old Xbox 360.

8.Demon’s Souls

My first souls game, and the one I had the deepest run with. I knew there was something to the game, so I worked to see what it is. I understand the appeal to these games, and they will always call to me, but they’re not quite for me. 

7. Angry Birds

Even though I got real sick of Angry Birds once it stopped feeling like a game series and started feeling like a brand, those first few Angry Birds games were excellent. They’re simple, intuitive, and challenging. Launching birds into these structures and watching everything topple over and explode is FUN. I wish it had stopped before Transformers, and Star Wars, and a movie. 

6. The Beatles Rock Band

Rock Band is a good time, and the Beatles have a great music catalog. This was easily the best of the music games dedicated to a single artist.

5. Brütal Legend

Brutal Legend is an action RPG that leans into the metalhead rock culture and has licensed music and voicework of some icons like Ozzy Osbourne and Lemmy Kilmeister. Jack Black voices the main character. It’s a perfect fit. 

There’s an alternate universe where Brutal Legend is one of my favorite games ever made. In this timeline, however, they shoehorned realtime strategy into a console RPG. There were a couple of years there where games like Pikmin and Overlord were popular. I guess that’s the reason. The rest of the game is so fun and has so much personality DAMMIT.

4. The Sims 3

The original Sims game consumed me in a way that few games have. The subsequent releases have never quite captured my attention the way that first one did. That said, my wife got very much into The Sims 3, and I spent a fair bit of time with it as well. The game has an impressive number expansion backs, most of which add to the game in a substantial (and overwhelming) way. My problem with the Sim 3 is that the more add-ons you installed, the more unstable the game became. My wife had save-ruining bugs more than once. 

3. Katamari Forever

The Katamari games are always goofy fun. I can see why Namco Bandai wanted to keep making them, and I can also see why Keita Takahashi didn’t want to keep making them.

2. Flower

Flower is the first - and only - game I directly associate with the Playstation 3. I got it along with a new TV pretty late in the console cycle, and it was gorgeous. The music is as beautiful as the visuals, and the motion controls with the sixaxis controller were utilized in a way I never really experienced again. It’s a game where you control the wind and blow around picking up flower petals, so I get that it’s not for everyone. But it’s for me.

1. Plants vs Zombies

It ain’t sexy but - like Angry Birds above - it’s an excellent game despite its appeal to *gasp* CASUAL GAMERS. Also like Angry Birds, PvZ became a brand™ and probably should have died a long time ago, or least shouldn’t have been bought by EA. Plants vs Zombies 2 was a good game ruined by shitty in-app purchases. Anyway, I’m a tower defense guy, and this is fun take on that genre. Unlocking new plants, adding new enemies, and new types of stages are all ways to keep my interest. And, according to Steam, Plants vs Zombies kept my interest for some 70 hours. 

[insertunoriginalusername]

Movie night

Xizy had been stationed on the human ship The Classroom for 2 cycles. They were a Guachy, a race of aliens that is excellent at communications, which was useful as most aliens and humans don’t speak the same languages. The crews goal was to travel to planets that had heard of humans and teach them about humans. After some of the stories they heard many planets were hesitant to allow these death-worlders to come to their planet to teach their young but after the first planets sent back stories of funny and informative performances most allowed it.

Xizy’s is tasked with making sure that the translators the humans use are always updated with the next planet. After the Kylzz incident they also make sure to run through the performance again and make sure that the translator isn’t spitting out swears and insults. That took a lot of explaining. The performances were showcases of human accomplishments, primarily their positive ones, and games for the children to grow more comfortable. On many planets they had to wear cloth masks over their mouths to cover their predator teeth. It took even Xizy a long time to become comfortable being greeted with by the humans while they had their teeth bared.

After each performance the crew, exhausted, would gather in the common area to binge movies and eat what they call “junk food”. It is explained in Xizy’s Human Handbook that this is a bonding experience that is very important to the humans (the junk food provides no serious nutritional benefit but they insist). Xizy begins to join the humans for these “movie nights” as they call them. Xizy has been hesitant at first to intrude on their ritual but Captain Tess had chucked at their hesitant inquirey “of course, the more the merrier”. This was a phase Xizy had to look up to be sure of its meaning to ensure they were a welcome guest.

On one of these “movie nights” a new film is sent to the ship. “Blue Planet II”. This seems the illicit a particularly excited response from the human crew. “What is this “Blue Planet” about?” Asked Xizy, “is it a uh... comedy, like last week or an action film perhaps?” The humans shook their heads grinning, private Scott explained “its about earth. It’s a documentary, all real”. Xizy couldn’t help but wonder why they all seemed so excited to watch a true story about their own planet. Were they just home sick?

Xizy was stunned. They had watched two of these “episodes” and Xizy was unsure if any of their eyes had blindked the entire time. The amount of life on earth! It was astounding. Bioluminescence and colour changing used for hunting and not just self defence? It was hard to believe that this was where this goofy crew and their ancestors not only lived but thrived. Xizy was amazed and horrified all at once. Some of the creatures in the film were nothing short of horrific. Even many of the ones that Xizy deemed gross were cooed at by the humans. They never would understand the human crew. The captain allowed Xizy access to the files to be able to watch the rest over and over agin in their quarters.

These films were soon sent to the galactic council and the respect for humans only grew. The galaxy knew them primarily as warriors and scientists from a deadly planet. The films showed how beautiful (and truly deadly) their planet was. In typical human custom their only resonse was to shrug and say “guess we better send you “Planet Earth”.

[sarahcreatesstuff]

Trion Alpha Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Fire, Air, Water, Earth

 The long grasses scratched gentle across the plain fabric trousers that Jack wore but he did not really notice them anymore. His entire focus was on the pressed down circle in the centre of the field where he would learn his fate. Nerves were playing throughout his body, a sense of anticipation but also a high degree of worry present as well, but he had been told that this was perfectly normal. No one could predict what sub gender they would present as, though those older sometimes had a fair clue about it in advance. Though no one had any idea about which of the four potential sub genders that Jack would present as, but generally it was presumed that he would follow the trend of most Trion’s and present as either an omega or delta.

 When he had first come into the wolf society, it had been very confusing to learn about the four sub genders and the roles that they played within a pack but now at the age of maturity he knew and understood them all pretty well.

 Deltas were the lowest rank but were never really looked down upon as they were the secret protectors of the packs. They were silent movers, able to blend into the world around them, scout out the best hunting grounds and kept the borders checked. They could be fast and sharp in their movements, making fighting them tricky as they seemed to almost dance around their intended targets but when it came to hunting, they were swift and precise in the kill. Most Delta’s were quiet by nature, slightly introverted and rarely wanting to be the centre of attention unless they felt that it was absolutely necessary and were otherwise the chief artisans of the pack, seeming to take their slight solitude as an opportunity to create all sorts of different crafts that could be worn, or displayed to show the pack off to the best of its abilities. In the Jurisa pack there were three Delta’s sisters, who spent their nights patrolling the borders of the territory with frightening precision and then spent the day making or mending clothes, setting up their own brand of ‘protection symbols’ which took on the form of dolls and tending to sick cubs, as the youngest had a flair for medicines and had become the pack healer with little formal training. Jack always liked their Earth based scents, reminding him of the quiet little glades that could be found in the middle of summer and knew that all Delta’s had an undercurrent of Earth and nature as their primary scent which always mixed pleasantly with their personal and pack scent.

 Which was why he always found that omega’s having water scents was a little strange but refreshing. Mostly they smelt like the freshness of the land after a good shower of rain or else the clear river water that ran through their lands. Two in the pack had unique scents, one a male omega by the name of Gus who smelt like a raging storm and the other a female by the name of Kira who smelt like the ocean. Jack had come to learn that omegas were probably the most diverse of the sub genders and whilst they all shared some traits, they were all unique in their own way. Omegas were soft and delicate but built with bodies that could sustain young through to term with little to no problems. They were the true mothers of the pack, able to be gentle and caring in times of need but were fierce as hell when they felt that one of their own was in danger. Some of the strongest fighters in the groups were omegas, which had confused Jack no end when he was younger but now, he came to accept that omegas would die for those that they cared about. In the past they had been nothing more than breeding machines, seen as the only ones who could be bred and with their yearly heat cycles that made them extremely fertile for around two weeks, but they were also at their most vulnerable and weakest during this time. Now that mentality had generally been wiped out, with the exception of a few cases, and omegas could choose to be whatever they wanted in a pack. Though most stuck with more traditional roles on account of them actually being particularly good at them. They all still went through heats, but only true mates were allowed to be with them or else mated omegas who could help sooth the ache until mates came along. Only once had Jack come across someone in heat, which was around a year ago and he had been praised for simply helping the omega to the correct hut and stepping away. He was still underage, but the smell of heat had affected him as his wolf began to mature but sense won out over everything else. Male omegas could also carry cubs and were treated no different because of this little situation.

 The Head Beta of the pack had patted his head, after going up on his tiptoes in order to do so correctly and had praised his good sense. Betas were essential for a pack to run correctly, at least when it got big enough to be a full pack, as they were the most level headed of the sub-genders and always seemed to know exactly what to say and do in any situations. Primarily they were healers, or liaisons between packs or else enforcers of the rules and in some of the more human city based packs, they took on jobs as lawyers and shop owners to provide for their living expenses and ensure that no one got screwed over. Betas were the least violent of the four sub-genders, despite being sharp with their tongues, and had more lean builds that made them surprisingly good for dancing and performances of all kinds. Jack had always presumed that this was something to do with their air based scents, which was hard to explain as all betas smelled like the wind blowing something around or else in the case of the Head Beta, like a hurricane landing unexpectedly in the middle of a corn field. It probably explained why his mate had a scent of a rainstorm. Secretly Jack wanted to be a Beta, as it meant he could provide for his pack in some form and already he had spotted an area of land which he thought would make for an excellent farm. Yes, it would be going back to his human routes but if he could get it going and maintain it, then he would be able to take the produce to the city markets and get things the likes of which he had not seen for years.

 Though he was aware that the city had probably hugely changed since he was last there. Whilst on the surface he looked no older than eighteen, Jack’s wolf had literally grown from being a tiny cub to a mature adult inside a human body. Wolves aged slower than humans, typically having a lifespan of two hundred and fifty to three hundred years, and the old saying about dogs ageing seven years for every one year had applied to Jack. Just in the reserve. So, for every seven years that Jack lived in human terms, his wolf only aged one year in turn which slowed him down considerably. At last track he had worked out that in human terms he was actually around twenty five, but he looked eighteen, so it was not so bad. Apparently, he would slow down further in the aging process once his wolf matured, and Jack was pretty much at the point of just giving up trying to work out the age difference because it would probably drive him insane.

 But it was a dream to present as a Beta for Jack. Most Trion wolves like him only ever presented as deltas or omegas, as their intended mates typically did not turn them until they were at an age where they could cope with it all. Jack was a rare case, as no child was supposed to be turned, willing or not as they feared what would happen. There had been children turned into vampires before and the results had been horrendous put mildly, so there were strict rules. Many considered it a miracle that Jack had survived as long as he had, especially with the way that his body transformed every full moon.

 About the only gender that Jack knew he would not present as, was an Alpha. They were the strongest, the fighters, the brawlers and the start of any pack. In the past they were always the ones in charge, the absolute rulers who could get away with anything and with their fiery undertone of brimstone to their scent it was a fool who took any of them on. Most had been brutes, deadly and power hungry with little or no regard for anything when they ruled with iron fists. They had dictated everything and caused so much misery that Odin himself had come down to smack several shades of sense into the alphas and teach them the correct ways. Or so the legends went of course. Alphas were still strong and a bit head strong, but they could also be goofy, adorable and some of the best playmates for cubs. They protected everyone in the pack, not caring for rank or position and it was rare these days for an alpha to even be in the highest position of power. Michael and Hazel were because they had formed the pack from the remains of their old one, but they had an odd balance between all sub genders, and each had their own Head. Jack found it strange that they ran everything by committee, but it worked for the pack. He had met outside alpha’s before, and they were all a mix of old, new and unique thinking. To become an alpha meant leaving the family you came from, because fighting for land and rights to pack mates between family always ended badly. Female alphas were as common as male alphas, and it was more than possible for them to impregnate their mates regardless of gender or sub gender.

 Multiple Alphas could form a pack together, but it was rare that blood relations ever stayed in the same pack once they matured and presented. They stayed close sometimes or were always just around then corner at the next glen but generally they broke off to form their own place in the world. Jack loved his pack so much and wanted to do whatever he could to give back to them for everything that they had done but he knew that the choice was not in his hands.

 The Goddess of Night, Nyx, choose the sub gender that each wolf would become whilst Odin, God of Wolves, would be there to guide through the initial change to ensure that all accepted what they were to become.

 Reaching the circle with the rest of the six who were maturing tonight, Jack found himself letting out a sigh as he glanced up at the black sky and seeing the full moon begin to peak out from behind the clouds. His wolf was present in his mind, watching also but not desperately stretching at his skin to be released and Jack lowered his eyes, “You really want to present, don’t you?” the whisper was only meant for him to hear and if anyone else heard it they did not comment aloud.

 Michael smiled softly to the six gathered and opened his arms wide, “Take a place where you see fit, this is a moment only for yourself and we have given you all the directions that you need to know. We will be here for you when you come out of the other side.”

 The six unpresented wolves seemed to pause for a moment, each taking their time to remember everything that had been said. Suzanne was the first to step forward, looking strong and confident as she hugged her father and then lay down on her back near to the centre of the grass circle. Her eyes closed and she exhaled once before taking on a serene look of someone who had slipped into a trance. Jack cast his eyes around the remaining four who were beginning to move into position, not copying Suzanne and not lying close enough to touch one another. They were all soon on their backs, tranquil and at peace with themselves as they exhaled.

 Jack looked up towards Michael, suddenly feeling very small and very alone. “What do I do if I don’t present.”

 “You will present Jack,” Michael smiled, “I’ll be waiting for you, when you do.”

 Gulping a little, Jack thought of stepping closer to the others but instead found himself falling to his knees and looking back up at the full moon one more time. He closed his eyes, clasped his hands together and sighed, “Please…guide me correctly through the night.”

 A call of an owl made the cub turn his head to the side and he blinked at finding himself at the bottom of a driveway which led to what could only be described as a mansion. It was old stonework with multiple layers and several different colours to suggest that it was a place which had been revolted over the years. The smell of wood fires brought a strange calmness to his slightly panicked mind and the meticulously kept gardens made him think of someone who tendered to their lots in life with a devotion that very few would have ever been able to master. There were many large windows in the building, some ancient looking with thick iron edges and the more up to date ones probably being some kind of carbon fibre copy. There were several neatly trimmed bushes and a pruned hedgerow that circled around the wooden gravel that provided a barrier. A couple of large outhouses that were probably a garage and some other kinds of storage were off to the side, but Jack only felt a gentle familiarity with the place despite having never seen it before.

 Turning his head away from the house, he found he was no longer in the glade where he had been and, in the distance, there were the lights of a city that seemed to sprawl for miles. It was only around a mile away, but it must have been a grand sprawling metropolis with cars rushing around and so many humans that it was almost mindboggling to behold. Faintly he could see the coastline and knew that there were ships coming in and out too, but Jack had to take a step back from it all as this was just a touch overwhelming.

Whatever he was expecting from the presentation haze, it certainly was not this.

 His dark ears swivelled around at the sound of a door opening and Jack turned abruptly, feeling his senses go onto high alert. Instead, he was met by a smug expression of a male vampire who could be no older than himself in terms of appearance. He was slender and tall, not quite yet finished going through a growth spurt as of yet but it would come with time. There was a surprising amount of light in the electric blue eyes and his honey-comb blond hair was worn in a style that was probably supposed to be a mullet, but it had been styled back into a more period style of framing the face. Bow shaped lips completed the look, along with a ruffled sleeved white shirt over a pair of stylish white trousers and black shoes.  “Well met we are tonight, Jack, even if our destiny is a long way into the distance,” Lucan spoke softly though with just a hint of a tease to his words, “Come in, before your tail freezes off in the bitter wind.”

 Jack had not even noticed the bitter wind which was blowing around them and he nodded aimlessly before shaking his head and then letting out a confused sound, “I don’t understand…”

 Lucan laughed at him, “Yeah, when they told you that presentation is personal to each and every one of you wolves it really is. Come on, you’re safe here. Or you will be one day.”

 “Who are you?” Jack asked, stepping forward regardless and blinking towards the vampire, feeling nothing but an urge to hug the youngster even if part of him was fully against the idea.

 “I’m Lucan, but you instinctively know that” Lucan replied, guiding Jack through a series of lavish rooms to what appeared to be a grand office with a large desk, shelves teaming with books and paperwork that had yet to be sorted properly and just a general mess that suggested someone who worked way too hard. “I think we’re…friends or allies or something…a while from now but for some insane reason they chose me to be the one to guide you to the presentation so here I am. Coffee?”

 An old, chipped mug appeared next to Jack who took it gingerly in his hands and took a long sip out of the drink. It was exactly the way he liked it, though it had been years since he had actually drunk coffee. Smiling, he set it back on the table, “Here was me thinking that I’d just go into the trance and then come out on the other side knowing what I am.”

 “What are you Jack?” Lucan asked with a curious head tilt, a knowing smile on his lips, “Or more correctly, what can you surmise about your presentation from all that is around you?”

 The werewolf blinked, taking in the room with it’s too stuffed contents and the familiarity of the house and the location of the city. It was far away from where he had originally come from, it was also far away from the pack but here he knew was safe. Here he knew instinctively that he was home. There were many memories tied up in this old building, in the gardens, in the woods around the area, though they were only hazy shadows of what possibly could be and there were so many scents and smells that he wasn’t entirely sure where to even begin. He knew that if he went out of this office and down the left, he’d be in the kitchen where there was a mixture of meats and blood packets available, including the ones he had to hide from their little baby otherwise she would be bouncing off the walls for hours.

 If he went upstairs, he knew that the second floor held Lucan’s master bedroom, the baby’s one right next door and his own personal but he rarely slept there as he preferred to be in the lodge with the pack or in his own private cabin just on the edge of the woods where he maintained a farm that not only brought in fruits and vegetables but animals to help with the feeds for everyone and visitors who would pay good money for experiences the likes of which only his farm could provide. The money was put into the upkeep of the main house, for paying for school fees for cubs and kindree alike and for a multitude of other purposes.

 There were selected times of the year when everyone would bundle up and head into the city, for interaction sakes with everyone and to shop for essentials that couldn’t be purchased easily online. Plus, Lucan and Jack had to attend the council meetings which were generally dull and boring, but it was always worthwhile coming home to find his mate standing on the doorstep, smiling wildly and waiting to greet them.

 Jumping back slightly in shock as he pulled himself out of whatever visions he was having, Jack turned his attention back to Lucan, a little surprised to find himself unable to recall any of the images that he had just seen moments ago. But that did not matter because as he looked at the young kindree vampire opposite him, his sharp eyes picked out a mark on the others neck. It was not a bite mark, nor was it a drawing. It looked like some kind of tattoo, similar to the kind that would cross his body when he matured and presented. The mark looked something akin to a circle with two crescent moons in the centre that touched at the tips of each end, one was the colour of blood, the other the colour of the moon and the surrounding circle a dark black. Instinct had Jack raising his hand to his own neck, in the same area as Lucan’s mark where he could just feel the slightest of changes. He knew already that there was a mark of a black moon with two crescent moons either side of it, one the colour of blood, the other the same colour as the moon. Nyx’s inverted mark, which meant that he was bound to protect the vampire who held the Odin’s inverted mark.

 All mature wolves had marks on their shoulders and arms to show packs and family lines but only one of the sub genders ever had a mark on their neck.

 Jack stood up abruptly, knocking the chair over but not really caring, “What?”

 “Yes, Jack,” Lucan replied, “Though you’re not the only one who will be surprised.”

 “But…it’s impossible,” Jack stated, shaking his head, “I’m human! I was born of human parents, I come from a human linage, I was turned at the age of elven, I had to learn everything about being a wolf…I’m not…I can’t be…”

 Lightly Lucan laughed, “Well you’ll have to accept it because you are. That is the only reason that this place exists, that we are marked as we are. As only an Alpha can join forces with a Vampire Master to make the running of a Clan.”

 Shaking his head, Jack thought about denying it all again and just turning and running away but he took a moment to just settle down a little bit and think logically. Everything was there, it was all plainly in front of him, and it was just a big scary feeling that was driving him insane right now. Slowly he exhaled and looked up towards the boy, “How do I even begin to walk away from them? After everything they’ve done for me?”

 “With your head held proud like you know what you’re doing,” a smile, genuine and soft was sent his way, “Because that is half the game, showing the outside world one thing when you’re quaking in your boots. But the outside world will not know that if you don’t show them, Jack.”

 A snort came from the Trion’s nose, “Why do I get the feeling that I’ll be saying that to you one day?”

 “Maybe because you will,” Lucan replied, grinning again, “Though not yet. It’s time to go back.”

 Letting out a breath, Jack nodded and sighed, “Guess I’ll be seeing you then?”

 “Guess you will,” Lucan replied.

 A blade of grass brushed against his cheek, immediately waking Jack up and he sat bolt upright in the field that he had gone into trance in. For a moment things were a little disorientated, the world coming back into focus, into the present but he was more aware of the surroundings. Of the lingering scents, of the lack of the other five who had presented with him. Of Michael standing watching him, a bag at his feet with enough supplies to get him started on whatever path was going to force the newly presented alpha to take.

 Jack took stock of the area around him, taking in the various grasses and trees before pulling himself up from his seated position and staring at the other alpha across from himself. He could feel the tension between them, the natural sizing up that occurred between alphas from different packs and realised that he could not feel the pack bond anymore. For a moment he was scared and wanted to turn back into the frightened little cub but the words that the figure in his vision had said came back to him.

 Straightening out his shoulders, Jack stepped towards Michael with all the confidence that he could master and grabbed the bag at his feet, almost casually throwing it over his shoulder. He looked up at the older alpha and found that the feeling of threat had gone, instead he was staring at a man who had given him the best possible start into a life that he had no right to really claim as his own.

 Without thinking, Jack threw his arm tightly around the other alpha in a hug, smiling when it was returned with two strong arms in what could be best described as a bear hug but for once it did not hurt. “Follow the river to the south,” Michael said as he pulled back, “It’s your best chance and finding land that you can claim as your own.”

 “Tell Hazel I said goodbye,” Jack said and then glanced to the place where he had seen Suzanne laying before. A gentle whiff of a waterfall caught his nose and he looked back towards Michael with a raised eyebrow.

 “She is safe and will go to the Summer Solstice with everyone else,” Michael replied, stepping closer, “Though my little wildling may want to journey far herself…She’s like the running river that one, never staying still.”

 Jack nodded, allowing Michael to walk away from him back into the pack territory. He waited until the wolf’s footsteps had faded away and then turned to look at the last place, he had seed him. Walking back to the spot where Suzanne had been, Jack lent down and gently brushed his fingers over the area, a smile on his face when he came across the thin chain of tarnished gold that instinctively he knew would be there. Pulling it up, he found himself staring at a pendant of a crescent moon made out of polished white gold and on the back was the letter S. He already knew that the girl had the conjoining disk of the full moon which he figured would be jet black like his wolf though with the little white tip on the edge of his ears and tail. Slipping the pendant over his head, Jack stood up, took one final look over the lands which he had called his home before sending a final prayer of thanks towards those who had taken him in.

 He turned around and headed away, finding the river more by muscle memory than anything else and began following the flow of it south. He knew when he crossed the pack border and entered into the unmarked territory, but he did not falter, instead continuing on down the edge of the river in the hopes that he would eventually find something. Though he had no idea what that something would be.

[crystalelemental]

I have gone on record as disliking Gen 6 overall, with XY being my least favorite games until USUM showed up and ruined a perfectly good story.  While most complaints against XY are due to the story being meh, and the ally characters being obnoxious, some of that dislike is in the dex.  There were very few new Pokemon, and a ton of returning Pokemon, which skews things.  Prior to this, most regions had repetition of older Pokemon, but there were enough new Pokemon around that the region felt distinct and unique.  Here, it...kinda doesn't, to me.  It really feels like there need to be more new Pokemon for it to feel entirely distinct.  Which is a shame, because overall it's a really solid dex.

TOP 15: 15) Carbink - Before Diancie, this was a really interesting Pokemon to me. A Rock/Fairy type that had obscene defenses, and had a carbuncle-like appearance?  I'm on board.  Unfortunately, it really doesn't have many tools to help it stand out at all, especially when Diancie arrived and out-performed it in virtually every task.  But it's still a precious child that I adore.

14) Espurr - Espurr is a lot cooler than its evolutions.  While the female form looks pretty nice, the male form isn't my favorite.  The evolutions also have the problem of, once again, the male gets the tools to be good while the female form is not.  Espurr itself, though, is an oddball that I adore. It's an unusual design, but plenty cute in its own right.  I just wish its evolution offered a bit more.

13) Spritzee - This was a Pokemon whose first appearance had me excited.  I really wanted to run a Spritzee, and I couldn't wait to catch one.  A little plague-doctor bird?  That's the coolest!  Unfortunately, its evolution sort of changed the focus to being heavily about perfume and fashion-based.  Aromatisse doesn't stand out to me nearly as much as Spritzee does, and it's kind of a shame.

12) Gogoat line - A lot of this has to do with my Nuzlock run of Y, where Gogoat was a sort of MVP.  For a mono-Grass, having Ground coverage is divine, and it brings a lot of that.  In-game, its stats are also pretty well-rounded, allowing for a lot of damage and recovery via Horn Leech, but also allows it to tank hits really well and retain an acceptable speed tier.  Gogoat is a ton of fun, and I kinda wish it had more tools for competitive play.

11) Dragalge - What an interesting design choice.  A dragon that's made to look like seaweed, hidden within the ocean.  I really love the idea behind that.   Dragon/Poison is also very unique, allowing it to be one of the few Dragons that not only resists Fairy, but hits it back for super-effective damage.  It's a Pokemon that shines in concept of design, and I appreciate that kind of uniqueness.

10) Heliolisk line - Helioptile was a certainty to me when I first played these games.  I knew full well I'd be running one, there was no question.  While Heliolisk is a bit more fierce than its adorable pre-evolution, it still presents as a sleek design that got a surprisingly wide amount of coverage, including Surf of all things.   It's also the weather master, benefiting from Sun, Rain, or Sandstorm depending on what condition you want to abuse.  It's a great Pokemon that I love to run.

9) Aurorus line - Beautiful.  This evolution line is absolutely beautiful, and I adore the aesthetic they offer.  They're a surprisingly downplayed fossil Pokemon as well.  While most tend to be a bit more intimidating, Aurorus is fairly passive-looking.  Its typing leaves a lot to be desired, as do its stats, but its design and presence more than make up for its lack of competitive viability.

8) Trevenant line - Trevenant, while not nearly as cool as Gourgeist, is still a very interesting Pokemon.  Phantump are the spirits of children who were lost in the woods, and Trevenant are the evolved forms that try to snatch children away when they wander in.  It's an interesting cycle of spirits.  Grass/Ghost is also a fun typing we hadn't seen before, and the moves it has access to allow for a fantastic support combo of Will-o-Wisp and Leech Seed.  It even gets Horn Leech and Harvest for even further healing potential.  Trevenant is a fantastic Pokemon that's a ton of fun to use.

7) Sylveon - Another eevee evolution, this time as the new Fairy type.  Sylveon is fun not just because of the usual eevee evolution reasons, but because of its bizarre ribbon feelers.  It's adorable and lovely, but like many fairies we'd get to know, has a bit of a creepy factor to it as well.  If there's anything it did wrong, it's steal everything that Umbreon did, barring Foul Play.  Which...I dunno, is Foul Play even still useful anymore?

6) Vivillon - Much like Staraptor in Gen 4, Vivillon is the best of the regional early-game bugs.  Its design is gorgeous, including a mechanic where its wings will take on an appearance based on location, and its stats, while still terrible, aren't bad for what it is.  Quiver Dance with Compoundeyes and Hurricane allow it to actually deal some real damage, and in-game, having access to Draining Kiss is very valuable, especially early game.  It's a fun Pokemon, and it's nice to have one entry to the early-game bug brigade that's standing out.

5) Florges - What a wonderful creature.  Florges is literally only held back by its lack of any good ability at all.  If it had any decent ability, and mild utility beyond the awful abilities it currently has, it would be unstoppable.   Its speed tier is in a good place for a supportive wall, special defense is so massive you don't even need to really invest in it, and special attack is in a good place for a Fairy that has such good natural coverage with STAB alone.  Plus it's just an elegant and beautiful Pokemon.  Fused with the flower it carried, its body effectively is the stalk of the flower, with a gathering of flowers around its neck.  I love its design, and I love its battle role, and if only they would give it a good ability it would truly be unstoppable.

4) Goodra line - I've talked before about how a lot of Dragon evolution lines are intense and intimidating.  Well, Goodra was something more like Flygon.  A little goofy, sure, but a good friend who is still powerful and a Dragon.  This also kinda began a trend, where a lot of dragons now are designed to be goofy, or at least losing the huge imposing figure or regal look that most before it had.  I, for one, love this adjustment into goofy nonsense being called a dragon.  Please continue to do this forever.

3) Delphox line - I love them all, but Braixen is a clear-cut winner.  I know this probably means I'm a furry, but it's the cutest thing, and the sass it exudes in this form is legendary.  Fennekin itself is just an adorable little fox, and Delphox is what Ninetales should've been: a Fire/Psychic fox.   It even gets to effectively be a witch!  The only downside is that Delphox loses a lot of personality when it evolves from Braixen, going from a sassy fox creature to a more downplayed and serious one.  This change is the only thing holding it back from being at the top.  But on the whole, it's an excellent evolutionary line.

2) Diancie - When its base form was revealed, I already loved it.  A mutation of Carbink that's pink and adorable?  What's not to love?  Then we got wind of stats.  Effectively the same as Carbink, but with way higher offensive presence. Maybe it could have more of a use in Trick room now!  But then, against all odds, we get the unprecedented: a mega evolution.  It suddenly becomes ridiculously fast and strong, and more gorgeous than ever.  Diancie is beautiful and wonderful and I adore everything about this wonderful creature.  It's even got a unique physical rock move that has a real accuracy stat, and a secondary effect that's to die for.  I love how, at the outset, Diancie was set to be the worst of the three mythic legends of gen 6, only to end up with a mega that ranked it easily the best.

1) Gourgeist - What an awesome Pokemon, in every regard.  Beautiful shiny, fantastic design, and a chilling concept.  It wraps prey in its hair arms and sings to them as it drains their life force.  That's terrifying and incredible.  It's also got four forms, including a really small baby child and a giant form as tall as a person.  Each form also has different stat allocations, with bigger forms gaining defense and attack but losing speed.  If there is any singular flaw, it's that it would really love to be specially offensive and make use of Giga Drain, Shadow Ball, and Flamethrower instead of relying on Seed Bomb and Phantom Force as the only real options it has.

BOTTOM 10: 10) Volcanion - I disliked it because it was so optimized, and had bar-none the best unique attack of the three mythical legends.  "Steve, it's the only who who didn't get an extra form and is ranked UU by usage, hasn't it suffered enough?" No.  It has not.

9) Dedenne - I'm generally not that big a fan of the regional rodents, and Dedenne is unfortunately a low-ranked one.  I can't explain it, I just don't really care for it.  Nothing about it stands out all that much aside from its Fairy typing, but after a while, a generation has to do more than rely on adding its newly introduced typing to things already in a formula to feel unique.

8) Pyroar - Something about it just doesn't grab me.  I can't even explain what it is, I just don't really care for the look of it.  Fire/Normal, while interesting, is far from good.  And it's another cat-based Pokemon that just does terribly in competitive. 

7) Hoopa-Unbound - Hoopa is cute.  I like it a lot, and Ghost/Psychic, while odd, is a fun typing that's pretty solid offensively.   Hoopa-Unbound, though... Psychic/Dark, while also good, doesn't feel as great, considering it has no resistances at all.  The change in design does work for it, in that you definitely get the feeling that Hoopa's true form is a monster of a genie that's been sealed away, but the loss of cuteness in favor of what I'm pretty sure is a JoJo Stand isn't as interesting to me.

6) Pangoro line - It's not bad, but it's just...definitely not my aesthetic, you know? I don't care for the punk-type.

5) Doublade - You remember Golbat?  How I disliked it strongly because it made no sense as the middle stage between two interesting end-points?   Same thing here.  From one sword, to two swords, to a sword and shield. How?  How did you do this?  That doesn't make any sense at all.  Get back here and make your full evolution line make sense!

4) Malamar - You'd think Dark/Psychic would be cool.  You'd also think Contrary Superpower would be cool.  Instead, Malamar is basically just a disappointment, with no resistances to anything at all, and no real presence.  Its design is sufficiently interesting, as a borderline eldritch horror, but doesn't quite pass into the territory where it's really creepy.  It's just...middle-of-the-road, in everything it does. 

3) Barbaracle - Its design does nothing for me, and its concept even less.  I really don't understand why it looks like that, and as another Water/Rock type, it faces a lot of competition from things that are more effective than it, and stronger than it.

2) Diggersby - Listen.  I know I've relied on disliking aesthetics to rank things in the bottom 10 for several other lists.  But you need to understand.  This is, quite possibly, the worst design I can think of.   ...second worst.  It's so bad.  It looks so, so bad.  Everything about this is bad.  Why did they make it like this? Between Diggersby being a drunken construction worker or some kind, and Lopunny being a pin-up bunny, I'm starting to wonder if there will ever be just a normal bunny Pokemon.  Maybe that's why I was so excited for the fake fire-starter rabbit...

1) Greninja - I have never felt such unfettered anger about one of the starters getting preferential treatment before.  Let's be honest, every gen does it. Charizard is the favorite of Gen 1, Feraligatr the favorite of gen 2, etc.  But it never hit as hard as it did this time, and if you ask me.  Maybe because nothing has ever been so blatant, or occurred at a time in which a started I loved more than any other was shafted.  Delphox has gotten nothing in its entire life, Chesnaught got a few nice tools but had to work hard for the position it has in life, and Greninja was handed optimized stats, a busted hidden ability that could easily be nerfed in a way that does nothing to Kecleon but stops Greninja from being stupid, and a ridiculous special snowflake extra ability that lets it be even more super fast and strong, and also we changed its priority multi-hit move, a statement which is already obscene, into a special move so it gets to benefit from its main offensive stat instead of having to choose its tools like the rest of the working class.  Fuck this bougie frog asshole, you've never earned anything in your entire damned life. I'm glad Alan won.

[igotopinions]

Books I Read in 2019

* = Re-read Check out past years: 2012, 2013 (skipped), 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, and 2018. Follow me on Goodreads to get these reviews as they happen. 1) The Right To Be Cold: One Woman's Story of Protecting Her Culture, the Arctic and the Whole Planet by Sheila Watt-Cloutier 2) Nollywood: The Making of a Film Empire by Emily Witt 3) The Consuming Fire by John Scalzi 4) My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh Reads like a more mature Chuck Palahniuk. 5) Of Dice and Men by ME I won't be a dink and give myself a star rating or glowing review, but I gotta get that credit for my annual reading challenge! I'll also say it's a richly rewarding experience to, after all the work of writing & editing & publishing & promoting, to re-read something you wrote and still feel all the strong, positive feelings it gave as you figured out the first draft. 6) Lagos Noir, edited by Chris Abani 7) The Secret Lives of Colour by Kassia St. Clair 8) The Buddha of Suburbia by Hanif Kureishi A really fun, cleverly written coming-of-age story with just the right period touches to it. I gobbled this thing down in a couple of days, having no problem seeing why Zadie Smith spoke highly of it in her latest book of essays. 9) Moon of the Crusted Snow by Waubgeshig Rice 10) America: The Farewell Tour  by Chris Hedges   TL:DR This book is not toilet paper, but it sure is shit-adjacent. It gave me strong feelings, which you can read on Goodreads. 11) The Anatomical Venus: Wax, God, Death & the Ecstatic by Joanna Ebenstein Great introduction to the subject with fantastic photos & illustrations. My only frustration was the layout, which frequently breaks up the main text mid-sentence for two or even four pages of images with details captions to read or full page quotes, so it takes a bit more effort to read linearly. 12) The King of Elfland's Daughter by Lord Dunsany I found this through the ol' Appendix N reading list and it's not hard to see how this influenced D&D in many ways, but it has value well beyond that novelty. This is a wonderful fantasy tale in the vein of classic fairy tales, a welcome break from the kind of epics we mostly associate with the genre these days. By the final run up to the ending I was really immersed in what I was reading and I know I'll be looking up more of his books. 13) The Worst Is Yet to Come: A Post-Capitalist Survival Guide by Peter Fleming *14) A Canticle For Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller Jr.   The first third remains perfect. The middle third is better than I remember, which is to say very good indeed, despite the feeling of inevitability running through it. The final third remains a pretty obvious punchline stretched out over too many pages, something basically predicted by the ending of the middle story. But! Ah! That first third! 15) The Gods of Pegana by Edward John Moreton Dunsany In theory this was an influence on Lovecraft's Dreamlands cycle books. 16) Era of Ignition: Coming of Age in a Time of Rage and Revolution by Amber Tamblyn 17) Looking for Transwonderland: Travels in Nigeria by Noo Saro-Wiwa 18) 1985 by Anthony Burgess 19) Infinite Detail by Tim Maughan 20) Seasonal Associate by Heike Geissler,  Kevin Vennemann (Afterword), Katy Derbyshire (Translation) 21) Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport 22) How To Write Adventure Modules That Don't Suck Edited by Jobe Bittman 23) The Immortal of World's End by Lin Carter 24) This Is Water: Some Thoughts, Delivered on a Significant Occasion, about Living a Compassionate Life by David Foster Wallace 25) My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite *26) Idoru by Oliver Brackenbury 27) Conan by Robert E. Howard,  L. Sprague de Camp, Lin Carter 28) Heroes in the Wind: From Kull to Conan by Robert E. Howard 29) The Postman by David Brin Yes, this is that “The Postman”, the one which was adapted into a universally reviled Kevin Costner film in the mid-to-late nineties. It is, however, significantly different and far more enjoyable. It is an extremely White Straight Guy book with some curious ideas about gender in the back end, a "Rah rah, America!" through-line, and an obsession with describing horses as "steaming". It is also a well-crafted, clear, concise, quickly-moving story that avoids several obvious turns most authors would have plowed right into, and overall serves as a great exploration of the power of lies & myths. Plus, yeah, it is kind of heartwarming to imagine the concept of snail mail & the people who deliver it serving to re-unite us in the post-apocalypse. Unlike the movie, I'd honestly recommend this. Heck, I'm thinking I'll start exploring the rest of his catalog. 30) Beastie Boys Book by Michael Diamond  & Adam Horowitz If you're a fan, then you'll like this. If not? I dunno man! The whole thing feels like hearing stories from your favourite old high school buddies when they're at their most honest and interesting. Great stuff. 31) Best. Movie. Year. Ever.: How 1999 Blew Up the Big Screen by Brian Raftery 32) Return of the Lazy Dungeon Master by Michael Shea 33) Conan of Cimmeria by Robert E. Howard,  L. Sprague De Camp, and Lin Carter. As tends to be the case, the pure Howard stories are best. Carter and De Camp are mostly interested in arranging Howard's work into a larger, more coherent universe...which is fine, I guess, but it has a way of making Conan feel less a legend striding in and out of fantastic situations, more a man - a strong, interesting man, sure, yet still just a man. *34) The Hunter by Richard Stark *35) Beast by Paul Kingsnorth 36) The Marrow Thieves by Cherie Dimaline 37) It Came from Something Awful: How a Toxic Troll Army Accidentally Memed Donald Trump into Office by Dale Beran 38) Planetes, Vol. 1-4 by Makoto Yukimura 39) The Bookshop on the Corner by Jenny Colgan 40) Reawakening Our Ancestors' Lines: Revitalizing Inuit Traditional Tattooing by Angela Hovak Johnston 41) Split Tooth by Tanya Tagaq 42) Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott Part life-as-a-writer therapy, part craft, this leans more toward the latter than Stephen King's ON WRITING and that's plenty fine.  A nice, light read that holds value for writers at all stages of their career, I reckon. 43) Conan The Freebooter by Robert E. Howard, L. Sprague de Camp As tends to be the case with these collections, the pure Howard stories are best. That said, Lin Carter carries himself much better here than in some of the earlier volumes. There are no magical abstractions of good and evil arm-wrestling each other while Conan just stares at them... 44) The Heroes by Joe Abercrombie 45) The Case of Charles Dexter Ward by H.P. Lovecraft Pretty good stuff but, as was pointed out on the excellent Appendix N Podcast, this story would have been really something had it been edited down a bit. RACISM METER: Honestly, pretty okay, which is saying something for Lovecraft! No cats with awful names or race theory or any of that. Just a good wholesome story of madness and history. 46) Difficult Men: Behind the Scenes of a Creative Revolution: From The Sopranos and The Wire to Mad Men and Breaking Bad by Brett Martin 47) Swords and Deviltry by Fritz Leiber 48) The Enchantress of World's End by Lin Carter 49) The Barbarian of World's End by Lin Carter These are not terribly good books....but I keep reading them for the goofy ideas and setting. Averaging 180 pages, they're not a big investment so hey why not? 50) The Giant of World’s End by Lin Carter The first is the best. I think because it was written as a complete story, not the literary equivalent of another episode of a Saturday morning cartoon, as the other World's End books read. As with the rest of the series it is enjoyed more on the merits of the wacky ideas than the quality of prose, including a part near the end who may well have been a source of inspiration for the Emperor of Mankind in the Warhammer 40K universe. Its main drawback is the classic scifi/fantasy failing of providing multiple asides to historical background meant to add depth to the world but which is ultimately meaningless to the reader as it has little if anything to do with the story - nevermind the characters! Heck, it's only 140 pages. It's fun. The ending actually got to me a little. It's a good place to pluck out ideas for tabletop roleplaying, if you're into that. Yup! 51) Wonder Tales: The Book of Wonder and Tales of Wonder by Lord Dunsany 52) Outcast of Redwall by Brian Jacques It's a fun little story, clearly intended for younger audiences, and I've no regrets having bought it second hand. BUT You could have clipped off nearly a hundred pages if the author didn't feel compelled to give you a highly detailed account of every single meal - including many feasts - had by characters big and small. Holy mother of God do you come out of this knowing a lot about the diets of the various woodland creatures, with their meadowberry pies and etc. 53) Björk's Homogenic by Emily MacKay 54) DCC RPG Annual Vol 1 by Steve Bean, Julian Bernick, Daniel Bishop, Jobe Bittman, Tim Callahan, Colin Chapman, Michael Curtis, Edgar Johnson, Brendan LaSalle, Stephen Newton, Terry Olson, and Harley Stroh 55) Conan the Avenger by Robert Howrd & L Sprague De Camp This is one of the better collections. Only the third story is a reconstruction from one of Howard's outlines, the rest are undiluted and glorious.That said, the back two stories are a bit cringey re: race, *especially* the reconstruction I mentioned. I'd say I don't know who looks at a Howard story and thinks "Ah, this needs more complex racial hierarchy nonsense!" but I do and that man's name is L. Sprague De Camp, apparently!The important thing is now I'm all caught up for the next episode of The Appendix N podcast, which I heartily recommend. 56) Medallion Status: True Stories from Secret Rooms by John Hodgman 57) Grand Union: Stories by Zadie Smith 58) The Singing Citadel by Michael Moorcock 59) White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo 60) The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson *61) Virtual Light by William Gibson 62) The Dragon Masters by Jack Vance *63) Roadside Picnic by Arkady Strugatsky, Boris Strugatsky, Ursula K. Le Guin (Foreword), Olena Bormashenko (Translator) *64) Bill, the Galactic Hero by Harry Harrison A fun little dunk on Heinlein and his ilk. Very slapstick. 65) Gonzo by Hunter S. Thompson *66) McGlue by Ottessa Moshfegh

STATS Non-Fiction: 23 Fiction: 42 Poetry Collections:0 Comic Trades: 0 Wrote Myself: 1

[tandembicycles]

friends and I made an atla si verse for ourselves during the stream because we’re like that so this is going under a readmore for posterity and information gathering lmfao

@ukitakejuushiro/danie- water bender and healer @endangeredtreealligator/gator- air bender with sound sensation and bending @eraserheacl/isaac- firebender and emo @shishiduck/lucian- earth bender specializing in metal bending ME/tandem- born earth bender (avatar by everyone else’s decision??) @d-lynx/ti- earth bender specializing in crystal and lava bending @kawaiijohn/amber- water bender

PERSONALITY/BENDING/STORY QUIRKS

Gator

Hovers a lot due to being insecure about height

Soundbending connects with synesthesia

Only airbender in city and had to keep it a secret due to stigma

Can befriend nearly any small animal and child? it’s wild

flies around and gets hyper at night, confusing the piss out of us when we all wake up

fights defensively and evasively

bad at sleeping and naps at weird places by getting distracted

easily overwhelmed and hides a bit

Danie

Very oblivious to danger and things going on around

Doesn’t try hard to be funny but is

LOVES snow and uses it as much as possible

always cold though and is constantly in layers/bundled up

Isaac

Catches on fire when embarrassed

Emo

“Hello. Isaac here.”

Blows fire when sneezing

Lucian

Makes bad jokes

Loves shiny things and picks them up all the time

Moves metal bracelets/rings in hands to fidgit

has a cat

Me

Gets a tattoo for the element symbol once mastered (already have earth symbol)

Flirts badly with everyone

Clumsy and anxious

Freckles glow in avatar state

Ti

blue crystals are their signature thing 

gets overwhelmed easily/has periods of intense self isolation so they build a little isolation tent for themselves out of crystals or obsidian because it's smooth and quiet and dark and alone. 

crystal is their normal fighting element, lava happens when they're angry or very serious. 

few burn marks arms and legs from the first time they crated lava

normally really quiet and sorta stays in the background and is really protective 

pet rock snake

Amber

collects cool necklaces

fights using kicks and feet a lot/balancing and quick water moves

specializes in boiling hot water and steam maneuvers 

when agitated, steam comes out of their mouth like a dragon lol cute

okay so it starts out with us meeting each other, of course, idk what the poltpoint is necessarily is or what the kickass mission is but HERE it’s goofy but funny hopefully

SO AMBS is starting out and traveled to the earth kingdom. Comes from a family of multibenders, with deep ancestry to the South Pole making them a water bender. They’re very good and charming, and they have this habit of forming stories with the water (forming it fluidly in the air, taking a lot of dedication and concentration) for fun, but like they gonna kick your ass also for fun. SO they travel cause they wanna see the world, and they go to an earth kingdom and they’re like “o damn.” Queue meeting Ti and Ti is like “wat the fuck is up, I’m an earth bender” and Amber is :O and Ti is like “Oh I know, I specialize with crystals and lava” and Amber continues to be like :O so they spend some time there just gabbing with Ti and they become good friends but then Ambs is like “kay I wanna keep travelling” and Ti is like “hey hey hey, I would also love to travel” so Ambs is like “come be my friend and copilot” and Ti is like “oh fuck yes” and Amber is like “but I don’t know where to go to next” and Ti is like “hey hey hey… you know the avatar…?” and Amber is like “I know of the avatar, certainly” and Ti is like “well they’re in that other earth kingdom you know” and Amber is like “WE MOVIN”

So

They go to the other earth kingdom and they’re like “oh wow the avatar I wanna meet the avatar the avatar would be really cool” and then they meet the avatar and it’s me and I’m like “these powers don’t let me meet pretty girls so what’s the fucking point” and they’re like oh wow the avatar is Not As Cool as previously determined and then I’m like “hey hey y’all are cute tho” and I shimmy over but fall on my way over which continues the trend of Not Cool but I’m like “however this is my Very Cool friend also from the earth kingdom” and here comes Lucian fuckin spidermanning over on some metal fabric and is like “sup I’m Lucian” and then instant friendship, because who wouldn’t want to be friends with spiderman and so they pal around with us and then friendship and I’m like “hey would any of you three, perhaps, be a water, fire, and/or air bender” to which there is a response of “I am a water bender” from amber and I go “please teach me wise one, I’ve already learned earth and metal from this extravagant beast here” and Lucian flexes and then Ti comes up like “I specialize in lava and crystal” and I go “holy butts teach me that as well” and Ti goes “oh certainly” so the avatar not only adds the ability to water, lava, and crystal bend but also the power of friendship and they do a sick four-way high five and travel into the sunset

Continued

Amber is like “hey there is a city on over here” and we are like god DAMN IT Amber you are a FANTASTIC traveler and a wonderful friend and also so beautiful and we so very much love you please take us to this city and so they do and we love them more SO. Here comes Gator who is super shy and chill and they technically avoided us a lot but then we saw them with a bunch of cute lil animals around them as they fed them and they were just So cute and we all fell in love and went “we must protect this darling creature” and so we all looked each other in the eye, nodded, and the adoption process was underway. Gator was kind of like “holy shit this is intimidating whom the fuck?” and we were like “hey, uh, hey, we love you?” and Gator was like “well what a coincidence I love love” and we were like “[beep] yes (shouldn’t curse with the youngins)” and so Gator is like “I WILL TEACH YOU AIR BENDING and these cool magic tricks and also how to create tornados and shit… if u want…” and I was like “oh my God Im going to feed you so much good food also YOU’RE AN AIR BENDER” and Gator was like “yeah I’m the only one in the city but she it’s a secret” and we were all wowed because tat’s AMAZING and it means they’re self taught so they’re fucking smart and we were just like HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT and they’re strong because secret secret, they got a secret, and we started weeping openly and Gator was like “what” and we all just went “what” and so we all nodded and hugged Gator and Gator was a lil overwhelmed but they loved it so we all left, but this time on Gator’s flying bison and with several other new pets

Moving on

We travel and it turns out Gator gets even more delightful when they warm up to people and whenever they talk about their special interests their eyes sparkle and we love this air bending gator and we ask them to do tricks all the time because they’re so?? Cool?? And they oblige and Ti shows us cool as hell crystals and starts fires for us out of Lava and Lucian is like “I’M HARD CORE LIKE METAL” and we laugh and Amber is just so chill and lovely and it’s wonderful totally amazing we have a wonderful time on our travels and everyone teaches me stuff and it’s so cool, everyone is excellent teachers

But suddenly, when on an unhabituated island

Someone runs out of a forest and into our camp and we’re like “hey who the fuck” and danie is like “I- I THE FUCK, THERE’S A BIG ANIMAL BIG BIG ANIMAL BYE” and they just keep runnin and we’re like “surely it cannot be that big”

However

It was.

SO JUST BASED OFF INSTINCT WE START BOLTING FROM THIS CREATURE and everyone was like “hey uh ur the avatar and you’re at least somewhat trained in three elements so what the fuck” and I was like “okay but I’m having performance issues due to anxiety” and they were like “oh no oh fuck no get ur shit together” and then suddenly we were like oh yeah team work, teamwork works, so we all like. Subdued the beast and it was chill and danie was like “oh hello, avatar you say” and I was like “oh my god finally a pretty lady holy shit” and I waltz on over like “hey… sup… how you doin…. It’s me, the avatar… big deal, you know… me… the avatar…” and I go to lean on a tree but miss but she digs it and I’m like “oh fuck yes finally” So she joins our camp and chills with us and is like “yea I’m a water healer but I ran away from home because Depression Session” to which amber and danie immediately bond over the water thing but Amber is like NO WE MUST MAKE YOU HAPPY FOUND FAMILY TROPE YOU’RE PART OF IT NOW and I’m like “hey teach me healing too” and then I flirt but that’s embarrassing and Ti is like “I lava you all” and Lucian is like “spiderman” and sleeps in a nearby tree and Gator Is like “I love my new found family” and Amber, the wise one, is like “okay but hey it’s cool that you are going to learn healing, that is a very good thing to learn,” and we all looked at one another and went “truly” because we forgot Our Kickass Mission that may kill us (which is what some of us want but I digress) so Amber is like “we have to get a firemaster and a REALLY good one like REALLY good” and I pipe up like “yes, exactly, yes” and our search continues for the final piece of the puzzle

So like we were like “okay so we gotta find a cool ass firebender” everyone nodded and said “tru” but then Amber, yet again the wise one, said “ah but you know what would also be a good idea” to which someone said “loving you” and they said “yes, but also. There’s a sacred scroll within a fire nation city that we should steal that has all the dates of historical missions and also the cycles of solstices and shit like it’s smart shit I feel like we should have” and we were like “god damn it yes but we gotta do thisand be sneaky” and Gator was like “okay we need to blend in with the people, when in rome, and then we’ll sneak in”

So costume change, we all look great, it’s amazing, but I gotta hide the tattoos, but it’s great we’re all fabulous obviously. And as we go along we stumble across a guy lamenting by himself against a wall, moving fire in his hands. I squint. “Look at that emo looking fuck.” “Yes, he’s quite emo,” Lucian responds. Ti agrees, “okay but the mission” and I go “no that’s the firebender we want” and everyone was confused and I was like “1. He’s cute. 2. The more emo a firebender looks, the better they are a firebender, this is like? Common knowledge guys. 3. He’s cute.” And then everyone was like “oh yeah that’s true.”

So.

We stroll on up and he is like, “Hello. Isaac here.” And we’re like “oh hello Isaac” and he’s like “hello. Isaac here.” And danie is like “hey can you keep a secret” and Isaac is like “I can keep a secret and many others yes, but you’re really going to tell a stranger a secret” and we’re all like “we’re very loving and trusting people you seem like a good egg” and Isaac is like “well I can’t argue with that” and we’re like “hey this is the avatar and we need a firemaster to teach her” and he’s like “oh hey I’m a firemaster that can teach her also the avatar? Cool fuck this place *hair flip* smh let me train you.” And we’re like YES but we gotta steal some shit and he’s like “cool fuck this place *hair flip* smh let me steal shit with you.”

So we all have a team and we steal the scroll with some atla/mission impossible type shit and it’s wonderful and Isaac becomes the new emo firemaster And the adventure for the found family continues.

[nivestuff-blog]

Aaron Carter Headlines The Forvm On September Thirteen

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin/Quickstep/Samba - Len called the dance a disappointment because he couldn't find anything to criticize. Bruno found it like champagne, mild and sparkly. Carrie Ann praised the synchronicity. Mya's Samba was set in the 70's and outfitted with fringe. Carrie Ann called it unbelieveable. Len stated she was on hearth and Bruno stated she did an amazing Samba. Rating 29 & 30 for a complete of fifty nine. Tom Bergeron rehashed final night's motion and current judges' standings. And then. the men's component of tonight's DWTS 7 days 1 period nine elimination began: Louie Vito and companion Chelsie Hightower and have a peek here and companion Karina Smirnoff were proclaimed secure to dance again. I'm not really shocked; they're each adorable young thangs, after all.

Karina Smirnoff is usually a enjoyment to watch on the dance floor. There is no denying that she is 1 of the very best professionals in the bunch. However, placing up with the daggers she throws the judges and the viewers when issues don't go her way is just as well much to inquire.

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It began, curiously sufficient, when entertainer Donny Osmond's son Don Jr. "tweeted" congratulations to his Dad, noting that "You and Kym [Johnson] are going to win this season. You've got my vote every week! Love ya!" Oops.

Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo - How about that costume Natalie was rocking? I'm lovin it! But that include version of "American Lady" she and Alec danced to was absolutely heinous. I believed Natalie and Alec's Paso Doble was superb, but the judges obviously didn't concur. Score: 22. Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough/Quicksteps/Paso Doble - With a standing ovation, loaded with content, Carrie Ann disliked Joanna's ft. Lacking body get in touch with and containing too much running about still left Len non-plussed. Bruno said it wasn't 1 of their best dances. Joanna's Paso Doble was engineered in the long term. Bruno known as it a masterful reinvention of a classic. Carrie Ann called it excellent and completely executed. Len stated Derek was a genius bit of choreography. Rating 23 & 29 for a complete of fifty two.

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Tomorrow night's outcomes show will get rid of one more couple before Dancing with the Stars enters the playoffs. The highlighted visitor performer will be Susan Boyle and Michael Buble. Jerry Rice, Kenny Mayne and Stacy Kiebler will appear in the seasonal Dance Center vignette to add some humor to the evening. Eleven celebs remain in the Dancing With the Stars competition, so who will go home throughout 7 days 4? Is there any celeb right on the edge, and who is rising to aaron carter and nick carter the leading after 3 weeks of dances? But what Keara brings to the table is not another fairly face with a good voice - it is, instead, a distinctive combination of musical abilities that are adept far past her many years, matched with a serene, but youthful, vitality that keeps her relatable to audiences of all ages. With an R&B acoustic audio relatively reminiscent of a young female counterpart to Bruno Mars, Keara (or 'guitarprincesskeara' as she's known to her 3000+ subscribers on YouTube) is ready to bring a fresh edge to teen pop songs. I sat down with Keara just a couple of evenings in the past prior to an exceptional overall performance supporting Check This Out at the Live performance For Our Long term in Manville, New Jersey, exactly where she opened up about her dreams and objectives for her promising long term in songs.

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Next we listened to from the Dancing with the Stars season 9 professionals about the challenges of breaking the celebs' poor routines. Meh heh. That should be fun. We learned from Lacey Schwimmer that Mark Dacascos talks to himself much too often, and Alec Mazo complained that Natalie Coughlin retains her breath too frequently. What a surprising factor for a swimmer to do! Co-hosts Tom Bergeron and Samantha opened the hour of the initial Dancing with the Stars fall 2009 outcomes show by turning to head judge Len Goodman and requesting the judges' pick for the encore dance. Final evening's shock sleek swan of the ballroom Kelly Osbourne and Louie van Amstel delighted the crowd with their Viennese Waltz once once more. I'm nonetheless so impressed with Kelly. I had, pretty literally, nearly no anticipations for Kelly Osbourne on DWTS period nine. I thought she'd suck and I felt badly for poor Louie. But she's amazing and was incredible however once more tonight.

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DeLay experienced to toss a joke about politics in there, saying that it is "simply outrageous for him to go left." His "Wild Thing" dance was described as "surreal," and his dancing was really better than I thought it would be. He was goofy, and that was likely a fantastic idea to get the voting public to believe of him as a polarizing determine. At least, this season, viewers lastly got a chance to see Kym Johnson in full action. She has moves that she's never experienced the chance to display off in recent cycles. And Joanna Krupa (who)? Let's just say the reason she is still in the leading 5 is simply because of Derek Hough. Anyone who is lucky enough to get him as a companion is going to adhere around for awhile. He is, by much, the best dancer on the display (as well as Mark Ballas). Derek has some of the very best choreography and should truly be a great instructor because he goes a lengthy way on each display.

[goodhubblong-blog]

Who Gained Dancing With The Stars Season Nine? Donny Osmond, Infant!

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson - Much regard to Donny Osmond for dancing up a storm despite the fact that he has an insanely active routine (his Vegas show runs 4 nights a week). Donny and Kim pulled off an incredible Argentine Tango and it was mirrored in their score - an amazing 29, the greatest of the period. dig aaron carter bi this is alive and nicely. Twitter was complete of messages on Thursday stating that the singer experienced passed away. Carter took to his official Twitter account this morning to report that rumors of his death are untrue.

I'd by no means really seen a lot of Mark outside of "Iron Chef," and he was actually a fairly fun man to watch. He might have experienced the cheesiest presentation of anyone I've seen to start the display, but he could transfer pretty well. The biggest problem for him will be remaining targeted on the dance. Tonight's magic formula component is.dancing! (Okay, only kidding.) Mark ended up with a 21 and a second-place finish in the group waltz.

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Melissa Joan Hart - Melissa continues to improve with every 7 days, and her professional dancing companion Mark Ballas continues to push her in workouts. Unless she has a complete disaster, do not look for her to go home in 7 days four.

DeLay had to toss a joke about politics in there, saying that it is "simply outrageous for him to go still left." His "Wild Factor" dance was explained as "surreal," and his dancing was really better than I believed it would be. He was goofy, and that was most likely a great idea to get the voting community to think of him as a polarizing determine. At minimum, this season, viewers finally got a opportunity to see Kym Johnson in full action. She has moves that she's never experienced the opportunity to display off in recent cycles.

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Group Dance: The Hustle - The standouts for me had been Donny Osmond and Kelly Osbourne. And what was that sitting down on leading of Alec's head? It seemed like two squirrels hopped up on his head and determined to get it on. ABC announced the 16 competitors for the next season of "Dancing with the Stars" on Monday early morning's Good Early morning The united states. As typical, there were a couple of "Who in the heck is that?" names mixed in among the actual stars who have decided to make a cash get, I imply publicity stunt, I mean appreciate stimulating competitors whilst difficult on their own to try something new. Yeah, that last 1. his response is alive and well. Twitter was full of messages on Thursday stating that the singer experienced handed away. Carter took to his formal Twitter account this morning to report that rumors of his loss of life are untrue.

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Mya - This singer has been the heavy preferred because before the competition even began. Her timing and footwork are precision-like and her partner Dmitry carries on to provide excellent choreography and routines. No way is she heading house this 7 days. Tom Hold off. Truly? Does this imply we can anticipate a parade of disgraced politicians now? Is Jim Traficant that far behind (as soon as he gets out of prison, of program)?

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I began considering about my absence of enthusiasm and what was behind it. It wasn't a matter of no longer enjoying the expert dancers do what they do very best. That enthusiasm was still there, regardless of mourning the reduction of Julianne Hough or the return of bad boys Alec Mazo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. Michael Irving received a 23, which was the subsequent most affordable score to be dished out by the Dancing with the Stars judges. Michael has improved considerably in the final two weeks. Will Michael's enhancement maintain him out of tonights Dancing with the Stars double elimination spherical? Will Michael obtain enough votes from the fans at home to keep him out of the dance off? And Joanna Krupa (who)? Let's just say the purpose she is nonetheless in the leading 5 is because of Derek Hough. Anyone who is lucky enough to get him as a companion is heading to adhere about for awhile. He is, by much, the very best dancer on the display (as well as Mark Ballas). Derek has some of the best choreography and must really be a fantastic teacher since he goes a lengthy way on every display.

[louiesorey-blog]

Abc Television Announces Its Celeb Solid For Period Nine Of "Dancing With The Stars"

The ninth period of Dancing with the Stars aired final evening and it is larger than ever (actually). With 16 contestants, the producers the first 7 days's competitors into two parts: the men and the ladies. Initial up: the males. Yet the man has bodily capability. He easily does a standing backflip. He could consider on have a peek at this website if he learns the moves and it clicks in his mind and muscle tissues.

Carrie Anne commented that while it was apparent he hadn't danced before, she favored that he respected the dance and show the pleasure of dancing, but he has to discover to use his heels.

Aaron Carter Aaron'S Party (Come Get It)

Today's Dancing with the Stars 2009 Period 9 announcement on Good Early morning The united states introduced the country to its newest dancing icons. Some new solid associates seem apparent, some are out of the blue - and one in particular is a bit of a shock.

Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo - How about that costume Natalie was rocking? I'm lovin it! But that cover version of "American Lady" she and Alec danced to was completely heinous. I believed Natalie and Alec's Paso Doble was excellent, but the judges clearly didn't agree. Score: 22. Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson. Donny Osmond currently appears with his sister Marie (the past DWTS competitor most famous for fainting during a display) at the Las vegas Flamingo Hotel. Donny has been a singer, musician, actor, speak and game show host and very best-selling author. He would adore nothing much more than to progress greater than sis Marie did. His partner Kym Johnson has been on DWTS since Season three when she was paired with Jerry Springer. Other past companions consist of Joey Fatone, Mark Cuban, Warren Sapp and David Alan Grier. This couple should mesh well and do well in the competitors, perhaps giving Mya and Dmitry a run for their money.

Aaron Carter I'M All About You

Tomorrow night's Dancing with the Stars Drop 2009 results display will feature a overall performance by Queen Latifah, and of program, the all essential elimination! Tune in for the motion. Or you can just verify in with me. You know I'll be viewing. What happened on Dancing with the Stars period 9's third 7 days of competition? Who carried out "the Samba from zombietown"? Who suffered an damage during the 7 days, casting a shadow of doubt over his capability to carry on on with the DWTS period nine competition? Read on for the DWTS details! The evening finished with Melissa and Mark tied for initial place with Mya and Dmitry. The scores were flip flopped all over the place. Fans and judges were surprised when Home Page and his companion Karina Smirnoff landed on their own in the bottom two. But in the finish, it was fan preferred Chuck Liddell who recieved the lowest mixed judges and fan votes. Chuck danced his last dance to the Texas Two Stage.

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The option to include Tom Hold off in this cycle is questionable at best. Whilst he proved to be charming in a self-effacing way, it was clearly not going to carry him very far. Furthermore, his dropping out of the competitors denied viewers 1 of their preferred pro dancers (Cheryl Burke). Louie Vito, the champion snowboarder who is in coaching for the 2010 Olympics is a lesser-recognized star this season. He looks extremely young, particularly subsequent to his dance companion, Chelsie Hightower. Louie confirmed a honest amount of grace and great type. The few experienced a total rating of 27.

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DeLay had to throw a joke about politics in there, saying that it is "simply outrageous for him to go left." His "Wild Factor" dance was described as "surreal," and his dancing was actually much better than I believed it would be. He was goofy, and that was likely a fantastic concept to get the voting community to believe of him as a polarizing figure. Mark Descascos and Lacey Schwimmer - I wasn't sensation Lacey Schwimmer's serious hair style, but her choreography aaron carter net worth was excellent and so was Mark's overall performance in this respectable Paso Doble. Rating: 26. Although the exception rather than the norm, some DWTS stars occasionally answer tweets from followers. Both model Kathy Eire and Chelsie Hightower, 1 of the DWTS professionals, return selected tweets in spite of having 1000's of followers.

[bleedingcoffee42]

Absent- Part 14

Prev parts

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“I'd like to help you.” Alternative Riza said.  “My focus was on flame alchemy.   I know I had to learn the basics but like you said, there was a lot of pressure to finish my studies before it was too late.   I learned enough to see what this is about and know it's outside my realm of understanding.  I'm sorry.”

The coin and paper felt so heavy in her hand now.   She thought that this would be the answer but it yielded nothing.   She came expecting a woman who was basically her father's shadow but instead she found a version of her that seemed functional and content.  

“I...know it seems like I was without a choice in the matter.”  The other Riza said and took a deep breath, as this was the first person she had ever been able to actually confide in.   “And at first I did it because I was afraid of the alternatives but after a while I tried to use it to understand him.  I thought that by learning alchemy and embracing his life's work as my own that maybe I could see why it was more important than me.   I guess a part of me thought that if I wasn't worth something before I might be worth more as an alchemist.   Like turning lead into gold.  Two elements so close but one worthless and one prized.”

“Did it work?”  Riza had to ask. Her father was the enigma she could never start to comprehend.

“No.”  The answer was so sad. “When I produced that first controlled flame....success came with fear.  There was no pride, there was no smile of triumph.   When he saw what his research had made, he told me I could never use it again.”

“I'm sorry.”  Riza wanted to tell her how proud she was of her, accomplishing something she didn't believe herself capable of.   Instead she knew it would be more effective to try to explain her father's reaction.  “He had effectively passed on his work and in doing so lost control over it. Without it he was nothing.   So he had to try to control how it was used.”

“I have very little use for it.” She shrugged and cocked her head.  “The other Flame Alchemist....how does he make the spark?   You said he is military, I assumed you meant a State Alchemist.  I'm sure he could tattoo his array on himself but he still needs a spark.”

“Gloves.”  Riza said and saw the other alchemist consider that.   “Ignition cloth gloves.    He snaps his fingers to make a spark and controls the oxygen in the air for targeting and flame intensity.   He has excellent control.”

“That's very...dramatic.”

Riza had to smile.   “There is a certain flair to Roy Mustang that is very unique to him.   He doesn't use flame alchemy much either, he is very careful to not show anyone exactly how powerful it is.”

“You're proud of him.”  

It was said as a statement of observation not jealousy and Riza had to smile.  “Very.”

“I hope you can save him.  I'm sorry I can't help you.”

“Thank you for hearing me out.   I am glad I came.”  She was being honest.   She feared coming here for so many reason but it felt like there was a burden lifted now.   She no longer had to worry about unearthing some long embedded issues tracing back to her childhood.   She could see her father for who he was and how she wasn't at fault.   She was just a kid and expecting herself to have done any different wasn't fair.   The woman she was today would have stood up to him, but as a child she didn't know any better.   Hindsight was always a lot clearer.  

“You should give alchemy a try.  I think you might find it's a lot easier if you look at it like you're shooting.    How you let all the peripherals fade out and just hone in on one target and nothing else exists in that moment.   You calculate the distance and wind speed and know your weapon, it all comes with practice.   I had to come to that by myself because I just couldn't focus on the energy and all the elements at play until I looked at it that way.   That's your comprehension.   Your deconstruction is the pull of the trigger and the releasing of the energy, from the impact on the primer to the ignition of powder...to the propulsion of the projectile.  Reconstruction is the collecting the bullet and harvesting the meat.  Transforming it into life once again by making it food.   It's hard to let go of everything and just focus on that target...but you have to see it and nothing else.  That target is your transmutation circle.   You just need to keep thinking about all those elements at play before pulling your trigger.   But follow through with it, stay steady and maintain focus on the object until you see it impact and then go process it and complete the cycle. “

That was actually incredibly helpful. She had never thought of alchemy like that.   Not that it would do much good now, but if she survived this she might ask Roy to show her something.   Just to see if she could.   He would transform in to that enthusiastic teenager again and, success or failure, that would be worth it.   She felt like she owned this other version of her a parting gift as well.   “You should give the  world outside of Frenau a try.   I know it has it's problems and it's hard to trust people, but there are good people out there.   People who will be better for knowing you and make you feel valued.   You have a grandfather in East City, General Grumman.  He's a goofy... somewhat inappropriate old man but he is family.   He will welcome you with open arms, no questions asked.   He'll also tell you about your Mom and....breathe some life into some vague memories.  He'll be proud of you.  Trust me.”

“I....well, thank you.”  the woman replied somewhat surprised.   She hadn't heard that name in years but the idea that she could learn more about her mother was enticing.  

With that Riza put the coin and paper in her pocket,  pet the dog one last time and let herself out.   She walked back to the car and tried to think of anyone else she could go to for help, but there was nobody better than Roy, Ed and Al for this task.   They were working on it for her and if she had the answers anywhere in her head, than it would come from them.   Her skepticism about her own ability was probably blocking her alternative self from having the answers.  

Hayate was still sitting in the passenger seat when she came back.  She opened the door and signaled for him to get out so he could pee, making sure she pet him for being a good boy before he hopped down and got out of the car.   She sat down in the drivers seat and got her gun back out and reattached it to her belt.   Then she grabbed her uniform off the back seat and put it on.    That done, she sat back and stared at the remains of her childhood home and tried to not give up hope.   This was becoming like a nightmare where she was frozen in place and couldn't run away from the terror following her.   She just wanted to get home but the key in her hand was not something she could use.

She was startled out of her thoughts as her dog jumped into her lap.   He usually waited to be told to get in but he must have sensed she needed some comfort.   In  an instant he was standing on her shoulders and looking for a hug and she relaxed and cuddled him.   He always knew when she needed some support and a distraction.   She closed her eyes and hugged her dog and tried to not think about him having to comfort Roy like this in the event of her demise.    

[canvaswolfdoll]

Canvas and Video Games

Have I talked about my Video Game history? Feels like I have, but I also can’t remember doing so. I’m also running low on possible essay topics, and haven’t finished off any media that I can review[1] recently enough to do that instead…

So, hey, you nerds, let’s talk about Video Games!

Because that’s obviously been a massive influence on my life, what with… my entire brand, really. Egads, am I a nerd, sitting here with a New 3DS in a charging cradle in front of me, trying to work out how to do better quality streams and deciding to write an essay about Video Games.

It all started with my brother, old Foxface himself. As the family lore goes, my parents once didn’t want video games in the house, what with… the social stigma, I guess? It was different times, alright?

Point is, my brother’s speech teacher was all ‘Hey, you know what may help with speech? Video Games! Get him video games.’

And so my parents did, despite any reasonable connection or evidence in the above argument.[2]

So they bought him the Sega Genesis, the only non-Nintendo console we’ve ever owned. He played Sonic the Hedgehog! Also… no. It was mostly just Sonic.

Obviously young Canvas was also interested in the wonder of interactive media, and the running rodent, so I’d watch him play, and occasionally step in as Tails or try to play it myself. And I was terrible at it.

Eventually, the Nintendo 64 was released and added to our fleet of hardware, and we never looked back! Ha ha!

That’s the console that we really cut our teeth on, with it’s many beloved games, from Mario 64, Star Fox 64, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (first Zelda game I was ever aware of), and so on and so forth. We ended up with most of the major releases.[3] Also Mischief Makers for some reason.

It was also the height of Video Rental stores, though I never got to choose games to rent. Vulpin stuck with Space Station Silicon Valley which… might deserve an HD Remake, to be honest. Such a bizarre premise people would eat up, nowadays.

The Game Boy Color arrived, carrying Pokemon and various shovelware, plus a few Zelda Games. Tried my best with them, but for the longest time I never actually completed a video game, or got that far, though I did finish Johto in Gold, which is something.

Gamecube came out, the Dreamcast died, and I began to become aware of the surrounding culture as my capabilities to use the internet matured. We also continued a trend of our person game libraries for the generation growing larger than the last. Lots of GameCube games.

Animal Crossing was a Christmas gift early in the cycle, and it was the first video game all of the kids in the family played, to various extents. Elder Sister was her usual perfectionist self, paid off her house, then pretty much stopped playing video games forever afterwards. Little Sister still plays the occasional game (mostly Paper Mario), but largely it’s just Foxface and I who are deep into the gaming scene.

But, like so many things, tracking each and every experience would be a rather sisyphean task, so I should try and refocus here.

Video Games have always been a presence in my life, and thus had its effects on my creative self, from imaginary friends to the little stories I’d crafted pacing the backyard. They were my chief insight into narratives and various genres, design (whether costume or set or mechanical). Nintendo Power helped educate me on the concept of news and industry, as well as the community that could grow from a hobby.

In fact, Pokemon was the main driving force behind the event I joke is the time I’ve ever made friends myself,[4] being approached while reading a book related to the franchise during second grade. It was nice.

Learning about the internet and GameFAQs hinted towards the wider world and culture, and eventually I came upon 8-Bit Theater, which fired up my love of comics in a big way. Comics and stories made from and about elements of video games? That’s so cool!

Then Nintendo Acres happened.

The diminishing use of quality sprite work in video games makes me sad, by the way. There’s just something about the GBA/DS era graphics that invokes joy in my heart, by now even Pokemon has left sprite work behind for models, and even kitschy independent games tend for the super minimalistic version of 8-bit and… whatever one would refer to Atari graphics. Had I artistic talent, I would slather my media in 16-bit evocative of Friends of Mineral Town or The World Ends with You.

In fact, I think that’s one of my main hurdles getting invested in Stardew Valley[5] and Undertale. They just look ugly, even by the standards of kitschy 8-bit style. Frisk is malformed, and all the Stardew characters are in the wrong perspective for the rest of the world. Sprite work can be so beautiful, and yet no one puts in the effort anymore.

Look, sprites aren’t the only aesthetic I love, just so we’re clear. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, I just prefer bright, cheery worlds. Tale of Symphonia is one of my favorite games, if not my absolute number one.[6] There’s just something very nice about a fantasy world that looks lush and vibrant, where you’d be happy to live just for the scenery. The Tales series and Rune Factory also made me very positive about oddly intricate characters in fantasy. I’ve never liked the dirt covered fantasy of… let’s say Skyrim. Fantasy should be about escapism, grand adventure in grand landscapes, not the crushing reality of medieval times.

More Ghibli, less brown is what I want in general.

I may be an oddball for the elements I look for in video games. I like RPGs (obviously) but there’s very few members of the genre I actually enjoy. I flat-out can’t stand western Video Game RPGs.

What I usually look for in games is both a compelling narrative and interesting mechanics, with allowance for the ‘Classics’ and trendsetters.[7] This is something I find lacking in Western-Style RPGs, with their focus on customizing and granular stat advancement. Sure, I understand someone’s desire to try and put a popular character in an Elder Scrolls, or place some curious limitation on themselves while crawling around Fallout’s wastelands.

But because the game needs to allow the player to make whoever they want, it severely cripples the writer’s ability to write the “main” character into the plot, lest they step on the agency of the player. So, from my perspective, we end up in one of two situations: the PC is a non-entity in the plot, with the narrative happening around and to them instead of with them. Or, we get a Mass Effect situation, where they treat it like Choose Your Own Adventure, and you end up shooting a dude when you thought you were just going to arrest him.[8] That’s why I much prefer being handed a protagonist with a history and personality.

Now, those familiar with my tabletop philosophies, and namely my disdain for randomized Character Gen because it takes away player agency might be tilting their head at this inconsistency.

Well, it’s a scale thing. I realize Video Games have a limitation, and thus it’s unreasonable to expect it to cater to you completely. Tabletop, however, allows endless narrative possibilities, because it’s being created in the moment. So, with Video Games, I’m more willing to just let the story take me along as an observer, like a TV Show.

Which is to say, I don’t really project on the Player Character, and am I happy with that. It’s a division between game and story that may seem odd, but it’s what I look for: every piece having a narrative purpose, especially the loser who’s carrying us on our back.

So, narratively, I prefer the style of JRPGs (also, I like Anime and it’s tropes, so…). Yet, I have never really gotten engrossed in any Final Fantasy Game, because list combat is very dull. I mean, grindy, set the auto-attack against opponent style of Western RPGs[10] aren’t much better, but at least it’s got a hint of visual interest.

What am I left with? For a while, Tales of Symphonia, but now I’ve got Rune Factory, with it’s rather simple combat, but still mostly fun (helped along by other elements), and especially Fire Emblem, which what I wish battlemat D&D combat could be: quick, clever, strategic.

Though I’ve only played the 3DS installments thus far, due to lack of accessibility to the early games, which I couldn’t be bothered to try when they were released. Did try the first GBA game to be ported over, but that ended up having the worst, most micromanaging tutorial I’ve ever seen, and thus I am incapable of completing the first level.

I know how to play video games, Fire Emblem. I am aware of the base concept of pressing A. Yeesh. You’re worse than modern Harvest Moon games!

I’ve also never gotten invested in military FPSs, as a mixture of finding the gameplay boring, difficulty mastering it, and mockery whenever I was roped into playing one with friends.[11] In general, I don’t like being in first person view, as I find it limiting to controls, and responding to things that get behind me is annoying, because I flail trying to find the source of damage, then die.

Though, with time, my avoidance has decreased. Portal has a first person camera, but in a mixture of a more puzzle focused game and excellent integration of tutorial into gameplay,[12] it takes an agitating limited camera and makes it very workable, while also teaching the player how to interact with a game in first person.

I also played a little Team Fortress 2, and now Overwatch. The difference with those two over, say, Modern Duty or whatever, is the tone. The two games are competitive, yes, but also light hearted and goofy. Death is cheap and non punishing, the addition of powers make character choice widely different and fun, and, when I do get a little frustrated, it’s very easy for me to take a breath say ‘It’s only a game’ and let it go. Which is important when playing video games, sometimes.

Because that’s what games should always be: entertainment. It’s why I don’t try and force myself through games I’m not enjoying or lose interest in (though obviously I do try and come back and finish the plot) and why I very rarely strive for 100% completion. Because I want to enjoy myself, not engage in tedious work.

It’s also why I don’t care about ESports. Because I don’t care about sports. People doing something very well doesn’t really appeal to me. High-level chess players aren’t interesting to watch or study, seeing two teams of muscled people charge one another isn’t fun, and fight scenes with the usual punching and kicking is dull.

Because, what I look for in most cases is novelty.

Seeing a master craftsman make a thing once can be interesting, just to see the process. See a master craftsman make the same thing a 100 times is uninteresting, because nothing new is happening. When it comes to sports and games, it’s more interesting to see novices play, because they mess up in interesting ways, spot and solve problems, and you get to sit back and go ‘Now, I would’ve done this.’

So, yeah, not a big fan of Counterstrike and League of Legends news, even besides the toxic communities.

Public perception of video games turned rather quick in my lifetime. It used to be such a niche hobby, enjoyed by nerds and children and so such. Yet… well times change, don’t they? Obviously children grew up and brought games along with them, but the hobby has expanded to become mainstream, a console being as necessary as a television, where those without are viewed as bizarre, despite it not being a physical need.[13] We all remember the children who noted their family doesn’t have a TV (or keep it in the closet), and I wonder if XBoxes have gained the same traction.[14]

If only tabletop games could get the same treatment.

Though I still wouldn’t be able to find a group, but still…

Now that I’m an employed adult, I have even more control over the games I play. Which means a Wii U and a custom built PC.

That I built myself, because I also enjoyed Lego as a child.

Between the two, I tend to have a wide enough net to catch the games that interest me. Sure, there’s still some PlayStation exclusives I’d love to try (Journey, Team ICO’s works, plenty of Tales games…)[15] but some of those games are slowly drifting over to Steam, and I already have a backlog, so I can wait it out.

That’s my stumbled musings about video games… Oh! I stream them! Over here! Watch me! I love to entertain and amuse!

Also maybe consider supporting me through patreon? Then I can put more resources into being amusing!

And share any thoughts you have. I’ll listen. Until then…

Kataal kataal.

[1] Did finish rereading Yotsuba&! but there’s nothing to say about besides “Read it!” [2] Certainly didn’t help me. [3] Though not Harvest Moon 64. One day, I will slay that whale. One day… [4] The rest are inherited after old friends leave. [5] Someone on Reddit commented its port to the Switch may help scratch the itch left by Rune Factory. They are, of course, dreadfully wrong. [6] I still dislike do rankings. [7] IE, I’m not a big fan of hallway-bound FPS games, but have played through the Half-Life series. Mostly for the connection to Portal. [8] I know it was in the ‘Renegade’ position, but I thought it’d be played as ‘I’ll risk losing the Shadow Broker to book this small fish’ sort of thing. I’m not very clever, okay?[9] [9] I actually never progressed much further than that. Perhaps it’ll be on CanvasPlays someday. [10] I don’t care if you have a list of subversions of this style, by the way. I really don’t. [11] I once annoyed a former friend for not knowing there’s an aim button. I didn’t know this, because I don’t play FPSs. [12] There’s a very nice Extra Credits about this somewhere. [13] Though as a cultural need… [14] Nintendo Consoles, of course and unfortunately, being considered the off-brand. [15] the PS3 port of Tides of Destiny. Yes, it’s a disgrace of a Rune Factory game, and it was also on the wii but… well, sometimes I’m an insane collector![16] [16] I don’t even need a PS3. I can get it used for, like, five bucks from GameStop…

[housebeleren]

Throne of Eldraine Limited - Power Commons

Throne of Eldraine card gallery went up today, so now it’s time to start evaluating cards for Prerelease! As usual, I’ll start with the Commons, trying to sort out what are going to be the highest picks and what will have the biggest impact on the format. Let’s get started.

White

It feels unusual to not start this off with some removal, but honestly this card strikes me as White’s best Common in the set. A 2/3 flier with a relevant creature type would already be an amazing deal for 3 mana, but the fact that this comes with the Adventure option as well gives this a ton of flexibility. The Knights decks will want this, the Adventure-matters deck will want this, and even the White/Blue deck won’t turn it down. 3.0/5

Both halves of this card cost 1 more mana than they would as individual cards, but together, it’s more than the sum of its parts. The Knight is a relevant creature type, and makes sure you have something to do on curve, while the Unicorn itself is a great late-game way to mitigate flood. It’s not as exciting as the Tactician, but I have a feeling this card will play better than it looks at first. 2.5/5

Here’s the removal! This looks a lot like Pacifism, and it is, but the condition that it can’t hit fliers is a very real one that makes this significantly weaker. You’ll still take it and run it in every White deck, but it will be frustrating when you can’t neutralize a flier with it. 2.5/5

White feels like it has a lot of solid, but unexciting cards at Common. These cards are workhorses that will serve you well, but none of them are cards you’ll want to first pick. It seems like it will skew slightly more aggressive/tempo based, and not really very control oriented.

Blue

Who’d have guessed Blue would get better Common removal that White this time around. Claustrophobia/Waterknot is always solid, and now we have yet another literally identical version. This will hit anything you need it to hit, and you’ll be glad to see it in every Blue deck. 3.0/5

Adventure cards sure seem good, don’t they? For the most part, Rage of Winter is going to serve as a Kicker cost, since you probably aren’t going to bother casting it by itself on turn 2 unless you have literally no other play and your opponent already has a creature out. But casting this as a 3 drop or a 5 drop with an extra effect are both solid plays, and gives this card a lot of flexibility. 2.5/5

Honestly, this card is a step down from Queen of Ice unless you can reliably cast it with Adamant. Without, it’s a costlier Wind Drake, which isn’t the worst thing it could be, but it’s far from exciting. With Adamant, this goes up in value significantly, though I do wish it were some other creature type so it could work with the non-humans theme. 2.5/5

Blue seems similar to White in that there aren’t tons of super exciting Commons, but there are plenty of decent cards to round out your curve and advance your gameplan. Seems to be tempo based, with plenty of decent fliers and some solid removal & tricks.

Black

This is possibly the best Common removal in the set. Instant speed is huge, and the Food is a very real upside. Compare it to 5-mana Lich’s Caress, for reference, and I think this is way better. The cheaper cost and Instant type more than make up for not getting your lifegain right away, and the Food token can synergize incredibly well with other themes in the set. Premium removal, this is. (Though how anyone can bake a pie in an instant is beyond me.) 3.5/5

3/2 Menace is a good deal for 3 mana and a bit anemic at 4, but a 4/3 Menace is pretty great. This isn’t going to be an all-star card, but it has potential and it’s a relevant type for the Knights archetypes, so I’m going to start higher than some might on this card. 2.5/5

I would definitely take the first few copies of Bake into a Pie before I grab this, but this is super efficient removal that will still get rid of most early threats without an issue. I expect it to do good work. 3.0/5

Black gets two great removal spells at Common, plus some just all around solid threats. It seems like black will be able to pivot very well between aggressive builds and controlling builds, depending on what you prioritize.

Red

The Scry on Jaya’s Greeting was nice, but the exile clause on this is also very relevant. I have this pegged as Red’s best Common, and certainly the color’s best Common removal. 3.0/5

You’ll definitely want to first pick the Dragonfire first, but having a spell like this that can take out a bigger threat can also be super useful. Also, given the 5 mana cost, it should be pretty trivial to get the Adamant bonus too. 2.5/5

I know this feels like one of those goofy buildarounds like Charmed Stray, but the floor on this is much higher, as a 2/2 bear is still an okay playable in most decks. And if you can get 3 or 4 of these in your deck, you’re really in business. If you only have one, I’d drop this down in value significantly, though it still could be playable in a Non-Humans deck. 2.5/5

Red, as always, skews aggressive, but it also has two great removal spells at Common, so it’s definitely possible to build more controlling decks with it, probably paired with Black or Blue. As the one color that is shared between Knights and Non-Humans, there are some nice overlaps in creature types to keep your eye out for and stay flexible.

Green

This cutie-pie has my vote for best Green Common in the set. It’s well-costed at 4/4 with Trample for 4, which would already be playable, but adding a Food token to the mix is just great. It enables synergies for all the Food payoffs, and worst case is some easy lifegain later on. I’d definitely grab these up. 3.0/5

Of the Common Paladin cycle, I like the Green one the best. 4/4 with a touch of evasion is playable at 5 mana, and it should be pretty easy to get the Adamant bonus here, which makes this excellent. I’d basically always run the first one of these. 2.5/5

The usual Fight spell is typically pretty solid, and this is a strict upgrade on Hunt the Weak, which was already playable. The Adamant trigger is good, but doesn’t change much as the card is good to begin with. 2.5/5

Green, as per usual, has well-costed creatures that should outclass most else on the battlefield. It seems like a very solid color that will likely be one of the best colors in a vacuum, though it’s hard to tell how much the synergy of pairs like the Knights colors will matter vs raw power. Only time will tell.

The Rest of the Commons

So those cards above have my vote for most impactful Commons in the Throne of Eldraine limited format. Next, I’ll run through the rest of the cards, and assign quick ratings to each of them (out of 5).

Ardenvale Paladin - Seems a bit weaker than some of the others in the cycle, because even a 3/6 is not super relevant except as a blocker. Will be playable in Knights, but not exciting anywhere else. 2.0

Bartered Cow - A Hill Giant that turns into Food when it dies. Playable, but unexciting, and doesn’t particularly synergize with any of the themes in-color except maybe W/U Artifacts & Enchantments. 2.0

Beloved Princess - I know people love this card, and the art is gorgeous, but it’s basically unplayable in draft. Save it for constructed. 1.5

Faerie Guidemother - Neither halves of this card are cards you would want to play, and together they’re barely better. I’m going to start on the assumption that this is borderline playable, but it may be worse. 2.0

Flutterfox - A bear that can be a Wind Drake if conditions are right is actually pretty decent. In the W/U archetype, I think this will do work. 2.5

Fortifying Provisions - On its own, this is just not worth playing. The only possible excuse I can think of is if you are in W/U and don’t have enough Artifacts to get your payoffs. But this is a weak way to accomplish that. 1.5

Knight of the Keep - Without Knights being a major set theme, this would be a 1.5 (see Barony Vampire). But the creature type is so relevant that I think this will actually sometimes be playable as a curve-filler. 2.0

Outflank - This looks better than I suspect it will actually play. Frequently, you just won’t have enough creatures to take down the big things you really want to kill with this. It will be Searing Light more often than not. 2.0

Prized Griffin - Generally I like this, though you definitely don’t want tons of them or your curve will suffer. One or two will suffice. 2.5

Shining Armor - The rating here is assuming you have some Knights in your deck, because without Knights, it’s way worse. 2.0

Silverflame Ritual - I prefer my White team buffs to be Instants, but since the counters stick around, this seems borderline playable. 2.0

Silverflame Squire - The Adventure is better than the creature its on, so play it if you think you need a trick, but there are better 2 drops if you just need a body. 2.0

True Love’s Kiss - I get how a kiss could undo an Enchantment, but an Artifact too? Not feeling the flavor there. Either way, this is strictly sideboard. 1.0

Youthful Knight - First Strike goes a long way in making this playable. Great target for Equipment, and a good 2 drop for the Knights deck. 2.5

Corridor Monitor - The only deck that wants this is W/U, where it’s a decent enabler. It’s less good everywhere else. 2.0

Didn’t Say Please - Cancel is never exciting, but this can help set up some of your “Graveyard matters” cards in U/B. I’d try it. 2.0

Mantle of Tides - It’s not enough of a buff to matter, though it’s cute that it overlaps the W/U and U/R archetypes. 1.5

Merfolk Secretkeeper - If you have some amazing payoffs in the U/B archetype, this is fringe playable. But skip it if that’s not the case. 1.5

Mistford River Turtle - Cute with Keeper of Fables, but otherwise an unexciting inclusion in the non-Humans decks. 2.0

Moonlit Scavengers - I’d really love to see this at slightly lower stats for 5 mana, but as-is it’s a decent inclusion in the W/U deck, and most decks should be able to get some thing to trigger this. 2.5

Opt - I love Opt, and am so excited to see it back. For Limited, it’s a pretty unobtrusive inclusion, and in Control decks or the R/U archetypes, it will be great. 2.5

Run Away Together - The dream for this is to bounce a huge creature of theirs and an Adventure creature of yours, and sometimes that will come together. Other times, you’ll have to bounce something normal of yours, in which case it’s way worse. 2.0

So Tiny - Worse than Slimebind early, and better once it hits the threshold. I’d basically still usually run one copy. 2.5

Steelgaze Griffin - It’s underpar normally, but has the potential to be an Air Elemental sometimes, so your opponent will likely let it through more often than not. And it’s a non-Human, so that’s a thing. 2.5

Tome Raider - The lost point of power makes this way worse than Cloudkin Seer, but it’s still decent in non-Humans or card draw decks. 2.5

Unexplained Vision - That’s a lot of card draw, but it’s tough to spend 5 mana and not affect the board in any way. 2.0

Wishful Merfolk - The stats are good for the cost, so I’d say it’s playable, but having to pay mana to attack is a big drawback. 2.0

Witching Well - This is pretty great in the W/U deck, but I’d even consider it in others. It smooths out your early game and can be cashed in for cards once you flood, which is a fair amount of action for 1 mana. 2.0

Barrow Witches - As long as you have a few Knights, this will do a great Gravedigger impression, and that’s a good thing to do. 2.5

Eye Collector - This can help set up graveyards for the U/B archetype, but it does so little else. I think there are better enablers. 1.5

Festive Funeral - It’s expensive, but it shouldn’t be hard to get this to be -4/-4, at which point it’s a Throttle. Could be worse. 2.0

Foreboding Fruit - The design here is cute. If you have Adamant, you can make up the life loss or cash in on Food synergies. And it’s playable either way. 2.0

Forever Young - Most of the time, this will be a Raise Dead, but if you have multiple good creatures in your Grave, it can be better. 2.0

Giant’s Skewer - If you’re in the Food deck, this is a pretty reliable way to keep making them. Otherwise, it’s mediocre. 2.0

Lash of Thorns - Very mediocre trick. I’d pass. 1.5

Lost Legion - A relevant creature type with a good ETB. Sure. 2.5

Malevolent Noble - I like this, particularly for the Food deck. Doesn’t seem too hard to get this to a 3/3 or bigger, and worse case, it’s a bear. 2.5

Memory Theft - Don’t play this. If you encounter a deck with otherwise unbeatable bombs, consider sideboarding it in, but do not maindeck. 1.0

Reaper of Night - If you really need a Mind Rot, I guess you can consider this, but the creature half is way overcosted. 1.5

Smitten Swordmaster - As a Creature alone, it’s okay, but does have the relevant type. Adding on the Adventure makes it much more useful as a topdeck and I’d include it in most Knights decks. 2.0

Tempting Witch - A decent way to make and use Food if your deck cares about that, but I probably wouldn’t include it in decks that don’t. 2.0

Wicked Guardian - You really want this to be a 2-for-1, so you need a creature with 3 toughness to be good. If you can’t get the card draw, it goes down significantly. 2.5

Barge In - I don’t like combat tricks that are only good on attack, but in a pinch this could be playable. 1.5

Bloodhaze Wolverine - This seems really solid actually. The threat of it suddenly becoming a 3/2 First Strike will mean most players just let it through, and I expect it to be a staple of the R/U deck. 2.5

Blow Your House Down - Cosmotronic Wave this is not. 1.5

Brimstone Trebuchet - Seems like a solid payoff for the Knights deck, though you won’t want it if your deck wants to be super aggressive. 2.5

Crystal Slipper - Haste can be game changing for some creatures, and only costing 1 to equip makes this surprisingly threatening. Not every deck will want it, though. 2.0

Embereth Paladin - I don’t love this inclusion in the cycle, as it will basically always just trade down, even if Adamant. That said, it is a Knight and sometimes it will be better, given synergies. 2.0

Fling - This card is too often a do-nothing. Save it for Constructed. 1.5

Merchant of the Vale - Smooths out an early bad hand and turns into a good mana sink for the late game. I’ll buy it. 2.5

Ogre Errant - It’s the right Creature type, and it can help a buddy punch through when it attacks. Seems solid for the Knights deck. 2.5

Raging Redcap - If it weren’t a Knight, I’d cut it down a notch. As-is, it could be playable, and it’s a great target for Equipment. 2.0

Redcap Raiders - Unexciting playable and mediocre payoff for non-Humans. If you need the curve filler. 2.0

Rimrock Knight - Super aggressive Knight for the aggro versions of the build. Usually you’ll play it turn 2, but sometimes it’ll be a fun trick. 2.0

Thrill of Possbility - Strictly better Tormenting Voice will be worth it as a one of in many decks. In R/U, it’s even better. 2.0

Weaselback Redcap - It’s both non-Human & a Knight, so that makes this maybe possible, but it’s too flimsy to be good in all but the most aggressive of decks. 1.5

Curious Pair - Decent enabler in the Food deck, but pretty mediocre otherwise. 2.0

Fell the Pheasant - Sideboard-only, but good removal if you have a lot of targets. 1.5

Garenbrig Carver - A passable trick stapled to a below-curve body, but together they enable some decent potential, especially in the Adventure deck. 2.0

Garenbrig Squire - Solid payoff for the Adventure deck. With enough enablers, this will be a great early drop. 2.5

Insatiable Appetite - Completely playable trick, but it’s not a real payoff for the Food deck to go nuts. 2.0

Maraleaf Rider - In the Food deck, this can be pseudo-removal. Otherwise, it’s an aggressive creature and non-Human 2.0

Return to Nature - Strictly sideboard. 1.0

Rosethorn Acolyte - This one basically doesn’t have an Adventure mode in Limited, but as a mana dork, it’s pretty solid. 2.5

Rosethorn Halberd - In a dedicated non-Humans deck, it’s passable. Otherwise, I’d skip it. 1.5

Sporecap Spider - Decent defense against fliers, but not going to do much else. Better in non-Humans decks. 2.0

Tall as a Beanstalk - I don’t love Auras like this, as it’s too easy to get 2-for-1d. But it’s potent enough it will do some damage. 1.5

Tuinvale Treefolk - A reasonable buff early and a large creature for the late game, this isn’t the worst top end I’ve seen. 2.0

Wildwood Tracker - I don’t think this is worth a card, and it can’t even make itself bigger than 2/2. Pass unless desperate. 1.5

Wolf’s Quarry - I just.... want my six drops to be more impactful than this. Maayyybe if you’re super deep on Food. But I’m doubtful. 1.5

Crashing Drawbridge - Playable in the W/U deck if you need enablers, but not worth it otherwise. 1.5

Gingerbrute - It’s possible for the the Artifacts deck, the Food deck, or the non-Humans decks to all utilize this, so that flexibility makes it better than it would be otherwise. Still think it should’ve been Gingerbrat. 2.0

Golden Egg - Similarly, the Artifacts deck or the Food deck could want this as an enabler, and it can fix your mana in a pinch. Lots of people will play it who shouldn’t, but some decks will want it. 2.0

Henge Walker - You really want to be Adamant for this to work. Otherwise, only the Artifacts deck may even be remotely interested. 1.5

Jousting Dummy - It’s an early Artifact for W/U and an early Knight for those decks. Not great, but a curve filler if you need. 2.0

Locthwain Gargoyle - White/Blue could be into this, since it gets your synergies off immediately. But it’s mediocre if not enabling something. 2.0

Prophet of the Peak - For all colorless mana, you could definitely do worse. An okay top end in a pinch. 2.0

Roving Keep - Most of the time, you won’t even get to enough mana to cast this. I’m not loving it. 1.5

Scalding Cauldron - An early Artifact for W/U, and a reasonable bit of removal later. Many decks could want this. 2.5

Signpost Scarecrow - This just doesn’t do enough. Pass. 1.5

Weapon Rack - Ehh. 4 mana for +3/+3, spread out over 3 turns just doesn’t seem worth it. 1.5

Common Mono Lands - All of these seem pretty good, and come at very little opportunity cost. I’d pick them reasonably if you’re sure they’re in-color. 2.5

So that’s it. All the Commons in Throne of Eldraine! Uncommons & Rares coming up!

[flauntpage]

Throwing the Counterpunch – Observations from Sixers 145, Nets 123

Brooklyn head coach Kenny Atkinson said before this game that he was expecting a “haymaker” from the Sixers, a team he believed was “too good and too well-coached” to fall apart after one playoff loss.

If the Sixers took a left hook on Saturday afternoon, they came back with a massive overhand right on Monday night, throwing that haymaker in the form of a 21-2 run to open the second half, leading to an outrageous 51-point third quarter and 22-point win. They pulled level with the Nets at one game apiece as the series shifts to Brooklyn, which contains more hipsters per capita than Kensington and East Passyunk combined. Philly is back in this thing with 48 hours of rest before a short trip up the highway to the Barclays Center, and maybe the best part about the blowout is that Joel Embiid only had to play 21 minutes last night before taking a seat on the bench.

Now let me be honest with you –

I’m not big on fans leaving early during any win, especially when the playoffs begin. The crowd, which was excellent last night, starting filing out with more than seven minutes remaining in the fourth quarter as both teams pulled their starters and let the reserves do mop up duty.

The early exit encapsulated a bizarre scene overall, a quirky example of just how quickly this city went from tight-sphincter worrying to 100% blowout boredom, which is hilarious to me considering how itchy and negative everything was during the two full days that followed the game one loss. It’s goofy how big of a difference one good performance can make in the mental health department, how much it changes the tone on sports radio and social media, where knee-jerk reaction is king.

And what a performance we got. The energy and purpose was ten times what we saw on Saturday, just a sense of urgency that was not there in game one. The guys who had bad games had good games, Joel Embiid was able to rest in the fourth quarter, and Brett Brown made a couple of key lineup adjustments that really helped turned this thing around, so we’ll start there, after the jump:

Rotation tweaks

Brett’s changes:

James Ennis, on a restriction, was available for 12 minutes last night.

T.J. McConnell and Jonathon Simmons were dropped from the rotation.

He had Jimmy Butler take over as the second unit ball handler, using a point-guard-by-committee approach and running out a group of Butler, Ennis, Boban Marjanovic, Tobias Harris, and Mike Scott.

Jonah Bolden was used at power forward with the starters to open the second and fourth quarters. JJ Redick remained on the bench to begin those stretches.

I asked Brett about the decision to drop T.J. and go with a different look on the second unit:

First, it’s a difficult decision because T.J. has been a part of our bloodline for a while. The energy he injects is contagious and we all get. Even if you study the stat line from the game we lost, I he was a +12, which is pretty good. You start looking at the ripple effect of maybe what can others do from a spatial standpoint. James is able to stretch the floor a little bit more. You try to give Jimmy the ball as a legitimate point guard, a point guard when Ben was not on the court. That influenced that decision. I thought T.J. handled it as we all guessed he would. He’s a wonderful teammate, but it was driven for those reasons I just said.

Key words: “spatial standpoint.”

Ennis was a +14 in the time he was out there. Boban had numerous solid offensive possessions with this unit and did a nice job showing in the middle of the floor. Butler dished seven assists and Scott went 5-7 from the floor, improving on the 1-8 performance he put up in game one.

Joel Embiid

23 points and 10 rebounds in 20:55 of play.

He made a concerted effort to get into the paint and attack the rim, and there were at least three instances I counted where he passed on three-point attempts to look for better options. In one case, he instead turned into a staggered dribble hand-off, then there was a Euro-step that got him to the line on an and-1.

Thing is, these looked like very quick decisions from him. In the most recent Milwaukee game, for example, you could see he was in two different mindsets, like he was fighting the urge to want to shoot instead. There was no hesitation to move inside tonight, and he followed up a 0-5 three-point shooting effort in game one with zero three-point attempts in game two, shooting 8-12 from everywhere else on the floor.

Said Joel on that:

“I was just taking what the defense was giving me. If you’re going to give me that much space, I feel like I can do a lot of things with it. Tonight I just decided to be aggressive and drive the ball. Some nights I’m gonna shoot it, but tonight I was just trying to be aggressive.”

Sometimes he was aggressive and other times he was patient. I wrote about possessions like these in Monday’s column:

Joel has an open three there, but instead shows some patience, brings Redick around on a staggered hand off, and they eventually cycle the ball down to Ben Simmons in the post, who is able to get a bucket over Rodions Kurucs. Tough basket, sure, but that’s just a nice job by Joel to pass on the easy look, play Redick to the second side, and work the offense instead of settling for what Brooklyn wants him to do.

Ben Simmons

No Jared Dudley last night for Brooklyn, who did a nice job in game one of defending Ben and also getting back in transition to wall him off.

Ben was aggressive early and often in game two, getting to the rim and making smarter decisions with the ball (despite three turnovers, which he wasn’t happy with). Most importantly, he rode the crowd enthusiasm, took the game one boos in stride, and delivered the performance everyone knows he’s capable of putting in.

Said Ben on that:

I’ve got a lot of love for this city and the fans here. Every time I step on the floor I try and play as hard as I can. I was just showing that. The hustle I try and give each and every game is not only for my teammates, my family, it’s for the city.

Even better than his offensive line of 23/12/10 was the defense he played on D’Angelo Russell in the third quarter, blanketing him with pressure and making life incredibly uncomfortable. Russell had zero third quarter points and shot 4-10 on 35 offensive possessions against Simmons overall.

Even some small wrinkles helped with the spacing issue in attacking the rim, like this little backdoor low ball type of screen (if that’s even a thing) to remove a body in the paint:

Great play design by the Sixers here, using how Brooklyn is covering Simmons against them. Graham is all the way back to catch the drive. Butler screens Graham right in the middle of the paint as he's attacking downhill pic.twitter.com/q9YLYK3uaT

— Steve Jones Jr. (@stevejones20) April 16, 2019

Ben was 8-12 from the floor and 2-4 from the foul line last night. His aggression on both sends really set the tempo and tone that the rest of his teammates mirrored.

JJ Redick

17 points on 7-12 shooting and 2 for 5 from three. He only played 24 minutes due to that rotational tweak, but they found some solutions with him last night.

Brooklyn is “top-locking” Redick with Joe Harris, which means they’re just standing Harris between JJ and the ball handler, which prevents a screen but leaves the basket-side empty. To that end, the Sixers have a backdoor option available due to the overplay, and on a couple of occasions they were able to counter with actions like this:

That’s the remedy to a top lock, that simple backdoor slide into the corner. Simmons can even get a piece of Harris coming in the other direction, almost as if he’s flipping the screen like an off-ball player (which is what Brooklyn does in high areas with Jarrett Allen).

JJ also got his defensive game back on track. He’s obviously not fantastic on that end, but he kept himself out of foul trouble this time around as Harris only shot 1-2 on 34 matchups against him.

Tobias Harris

The five free-throws he earned at the start of the third quarter really helped get him going. He shot three after he was fouled on a three-pointer, then got two more on a run-out and clear path foul. After hitting five from the stripe, he went on to hit three shots in a row, including this wide-open three on a blown Brooklyn defensive assignment:

Huge Brooklyn mess there. You see J. Harris again with the Redick top lock, but the multiple blown assignments leave Tobias wide open to just step back to the arc and fire.

Hopefully a bit of confidence carries him into game three. He was 5-12 last night and a team-high +30.

Jimmy Butler

Didn’t score and didn’t have to.

He’ll be happy with the 7 assists he dished out, second on the team behind Ben Simmons. Butler pointed out after his big game one performance that he felt like he could have gotten other guys more involved, and he did that Monday night, handling backup point guard duties and contributing in different ways.

Other notes:

Boban Marjanovic is 8-10 from OUTSIDE the paint in this series. The Nets are giving him wide open looks that he’s knocking down. Boban shot a team-high 14 field goals last night, which is crazy, but he hit 8 of those shots to finish at 57% on the night.

The Sixers ran their favored 12 pick and roll at the end of the first quarter and got a nice screen from Simmons on Dinwiddie, leading to a JJ three. They tried it again at the end of the third and it didn’t come off, leading to the Scott rebound and put back that got them to 51 points.

Harris could be a better finisher at the rim. I feel like he’s had a couple of dunks stuffed in recent weeks.

Embiid had a big block on LeVert at the basket towards the end of the 1st half. I thought he got all ball there but they might have whistled the body contact prior to that.

Cheesesteak egg rolls at halftime resulted in the longest media food line I’ve ever seen. There had to be 50-60 people in the line, no joke.

Ennis made a couple of tough plays, including a great hustle play on the offensive glass that resulted in a tip somehow finding its way into the basket. That was followed by a backdoor rebound and put-back. He was 2-2 last night with those two offensive boards and worked well I thought on the second unit, certainly a much-needed boost off the bench.

The Sixers scored 12 fast break points last night after mustering just 4 in game one. Their season average is 15.

Both of the flagrant fouls were the right call.

JJ’s technical was whatever. The call leading to his complaint was incredibly iffy.

Brett Brown chewed out the team at halftime. It worked.

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