#vizzy t sucks

[bbygirl-aemond]

criston: has anyone ever told you they loved you? aemond: does my dad count? criston: of course. aemond: aemond: then no.

[exitpursuedbyavulcan]

Okay? Okay.

You end up needing to run a few errands at the same time Aegon has his weekly therapist's appointment, so you decide to drop him off and pick him up. But when he gets back in the car, he's desperate for affirmation. It seems the topic of his appointment was his parent's marriage

Pairing: Modern!Aegon Targaryen x Reader (2nd person)

Warnings: kissing, car sex, semi-public sex, discussions of Vizzy T x Alicent, Aegon is actually pretty tame here suprisingly

This work is a part of my 12 Days of Smuff event! Read the rest here.

My Masterlist

Okay? Okay.

Prompt: Reassurance & Car Sex

It was a dreary day, the skies a light gray that seemed to suck the color out of everything. You knew it would only get grayer and drearier as the snowstorm grew closer and closer. But you had a few hours before it hit. Which meant you had to go to the grocery store to grab as much as you could amongst the chaos of every person in town trying to do the same thing you were.

And also, that you had to drive your boyfriend, Aegon, to his weekly therapy appointment, as he didn’t have a car equipped to handle winter road conditions.

He would never risk his precious wrapped BMW M8, which he called “Sunfyre,” like that. It wouldn’t leave the garage attached to your small rental if there was even a one percent chance of rain. Which meant it pretty much never left the garage.

Your 24-year-old Mazda5 – aka “Zoomie” – however, could handle anything.

Indeed, she made it to the therapy office without issue. You were about to gloat to Aegon when you saw the glum look on his face. “Hey,” you said softly, reaching to pat his shoulder. “You alright?”

Aegon looked at you, obviously not alright, but he shrugged and gave you a half-hearted smile. “Fine. Just rather be back at home, you know? I’m almost done with my Dark Urge run, so…”

You nodded, assuring him he’d have plenty of time to finish up once the storm blew in. He seemed to cheer up slightly at that and opened his door.

“Want anything from the store?” You asked as he was halfway out of the car.

Aegon thought for a moment, his eyes narrowing and one corner of his mouth curling up. Then, his entire face brightened. “Cosmic brownies?”

You laughed a little, leaning over the center console to kiss him one more time. “I’ll get two boxes, just to be safe.”

-

You’d nearly had to fight a woman to get the last two boxes of cosmic brownies, but when you pulled up to the therapy office again, they were sitting safely in the front seat. But when Aegon pushed off the wall and got back in the car, he just tossed them into the backseat with the rest of the groceries.

It threw you off for a second. Then you saw that Aegon’s eyes were distant and red-rimmed, and he staunchly refused your gaze.

“Aeg? What’s wrong?” You were instantly in protective girlfriend mode. Therapy was supposed to help him, and you’d never seen him come home in such a state before.

He shook his head, “I just…” you watched him sniffle and rub at his nose. “Hard session today, that’s all.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

The left side of his lips quirked up for only a second. “That’s what the therapy is for, babe.”

This wasn’t his usual humor – that usually had some hint of suggestiveness or immaturity. He was only this witty, or at least nearly so, when he was upset. Very upset.

“Aegon, please,” you said softly. He understood what was left unspoken – be serious.

He finally turned to you, his usually bright, joyful face drawn and tired. “Babe,” his hand tentatively reached out to yours. “Can we go somewhere else for this?”

You nodded and put the car in drive. “Yeah, we should go home anyway, the storm – ”

“Not home, either. Somewhere like, random.”

Though you weren��t sure what ‘random’ meant, you just started driving. Aegon never spoke, never commented on the winding path you drove through town. You heard a few sniffles and sharp breaths, but you never looked his way. He felt so fragile, like even a wrong look could shatter him. What the hell had that therapist talked about?

Eventually, you found yourself at a relatively secluded park, utterly abandoned in anticipation of the storm. You pulled the car into a parking spot, and waited.

By the time Aegon began, the first few snow flurries had started to fall.

“We talked about my parents today,” he started. “Not about my dad or any of his bullshit, but about both of them. Their relationship.”

That was a subject you hadn’t heard much about. You knew about his mother’s overbearing nature and the pressure she’d put on him his whole life, and about the distance that had always existed between him and his father. The favoritism Viserys always showed his elder half-sister. You could count on one hand the number of stories Aegon had told you where his father actually spoke to him.

But their relationship was never something he talked about. You were under the impression that there wasn’t one at all, really.

“My mom…” a glint of reluctant affection shone in his eyes. “She’s a lot younger than my dad. I don’t remember exactly, but I know it’s something like twenty-five, thirty years or so.”

You had always just assumed his dad looked so much older because he was so sick. This was just gross.

Aegon took your hand and squeezed. “Before they got married, my mom was Rhaenyra’s best friend.”

Super gross.

“That’s why they don’t get along. Rhaenyra thinks my mom seduced her father, and my mom felt abandoned by her best friend. But it’s more than that, I think… I think my dad did love my mom, at least at first. I can see it in their wedding photos. He even looked at me like he loved me, in pictures from when I was a baby.

“But after Helaena was born, he looked different. Like he was only with her at the hospital because he had to be, or that he was only at my third birthday party because someone had forced him to. I’m not sure what changed, but it did. My mom still cared about him, but to him, the rest of us were just like, a job or something.”

You grabbed his hand and brought it up to your lips to kiss. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

He shook your hand a little before continuing. “I don’t get why they stayed together. It only ever made the rest of us miserable. How Aemond and Daeron happened is honestly a mystery.”

Everything he was telling you sucked, sure. But he hadn’t started tearing up like he did when you first asked him what was wrong. So when he again went silent, you nudged him on. “Aegon?”

He took a deep breath and turned to you. “Are you going to get bored of me? Decide you don’t actually love me and just… treat me like he did?” Tears ran down his face faster than the snow falling outside your little car.

“Oh, Aegon,” you set your hands on his cheeks and pulled him close so you could kiss his forehead. “Never. I will never treat you like that. I will never get bored of you. I love you so much, Aegon.”

A sob escaped him at your words, and he draped his arms around you, nuzzling his face into your neck as he cried. “I love you, too.”

You continued kissing all over his face as you whispered your reassurance repeatedly. Once he’d calmed, he started kissing you back. And since Aegon was Aegon, kissing could never just be kissing.

When he pulled you over the center console, you were very glad no one else was around – you weren’t graceful at all. But your embarrassment faded as Aegon's hands slipped beneath your leggings, one hand teasing your entrance while the other settled on your ass, guiding you in rolling against the harness growing in his pants.

“Can we get arrested for this?” He asked as he pushed your leggings down and frantically lowered his own sweatpants.

You sighed in delight as you sank onto his cock, savoring the stretch. He wasn’t the longest you’ve ever had, but he was thick, and it was wonderful. “We can, but only if someone sees us.”

He laughed, taking your bottom lip gently between his teeth and pulling slightly as he brought his hands to your waist to support you as you began to ride him slowly. “Thank the gods for the snowstorm, then.”

Words were quickly abandoned. At first, you’d wanted to take this slowly, to show him exactly how much you loved him. But Aegon wasn’t patient, and soon began thrusting into you as fast as he could, the car rocking beneath you.

Aegon came first, biting down on his shoulder to stop his screams. One of his hands dropped to your pearl and began rubbing furiously, until you screamed yourself and clamped down on his length, pulling a pitiful whine from him.

“You okay?” you whispered, holding him as close as you could.

Aegon smiled slightly. “I’m okay.”

Thanks to your activities, the car windows had fogged. You leaned over to wipe away the condensation and saw the snow falling harder now, the ground completely covered. “Okay, help me back up,” you commanded. “We’ve gotta get home quick.”

“Don’t worry,” he whispered, leaning back down to kiss your neck. “We can stay a little longer. Zoomie’ll plow through the snow to get us home.”

[scaly-freaks]

What do you think Amara and Aegon are like as parents? All I know is The one that looks like Amara the most is going to be daddy’s favourite. But in a modern world, Would they be the type to always fight in front of them? Will they bring them to the world just to ignore them and throw them to the nannies? Will they be Alicent and Vizzy T no.2? I read YSMMC and whenever children were brought up Amara was convinced they’re going to suck at parenting. Got me scared for them kids fr. I also love how in every au Jaehaera is always their daughter!

Since they already are parents in the medieval AU, I'll go with Black Hole for this one.

I think they'd be extremely overprotective considering what happened to them as children. The fact that they themselves often regress to a more childish emotional state also might not always help and they may accidentally end up parentifying those children. They say you can get emotionally stuck at the time of your trauma, and theirs was so horrific that I think when they are in a bad place, the regression is severe. For Amara, that's six years old and so scared her brain blanks out. And for Aegon he was eleven when it happened for the last time and started when he was eight.

I don't think they'd trust them with the nannies, not without insane levels of vetting. They'd definitely make a massive effort to be very involved, even if that's in careless ways (on Aegon's part). He'd absolutely gobble down vodka whilst rocking Jaehaera on his knee and watching insanely violent films. Amara would be so happy with a little girl and the chance to share with her everything she knows and loves. She hasn't had much family for a long time, and now she'd have this part of her that she is in a position to protect, the way her parents couldn't protect her (it wasn't their fault, as they trusted the wrong person, but she has a paranoia about being asleep whilst something bad happens to Jae).

[emilykaldwen]

I just wanted to let you know that I'm enjoying your story. I care about all of the characters that I have read about so far. Well, except for Viserys. His inaction and bad decisions have hurt too many. You have me interested in scenes with Otto and Larys, despite my dislike of them. I continue to love Abby more with each paragraph I read. I hope to meet her sister Corynna, even if they are not close. I am definitely reading another chapter tomorrow.

Look, Vizzy T can suck it but I’ll at least try to keep him in character 😂

Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying the story, and I look forward to hearing what you’ve been excited about! And we do meet Cory! And you’ll want to push her off a cliff, I’m sure, just like I want to.

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

EPILOGUE SEVEN

31

VRIZNISKA so show some love! Jiznohn, I nee' ta see but real don't give a fuck!

VRISKA: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. Hiznow do I git 8ack!?

Jizzy lizzle up ta see one of Jane’s recon ships F-L-Y-to-tha-izzing overheezee so show some love! Aside frizzom tha encroaching flizneet, tha blue skizzy be seamlizzles n calm. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. Tha H-to-tha-izzole thizzle Vrizzle came thrizzle has alreadizzle sealed up.

JOHN: Drop it like its hot. um hittin that booty.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: i dizzle think yizzou *can* go back.

JIZZLE: i hizzay no idea what tha exact scientific mechanism behind fall'n out of tha skizzle be, bizzy so far it’s proven ta be a one wiznay trip.

VRISKA: Noooooooo! Throw yo guns in the fuckin air.

JIZZLE: wizzle ta earth c, ha ha.

JOHN so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: it blingin' sucks ya dig?

Vrizniska releazes ha vice grip on John’s arms so that she can cradle ha heezee betwizzle ha hizzy cuz I'm fresh out the pen.

VRISKA: Oh mah god!

VRIZNISKA: Dis be tha worst th'n that could h8vizzle possibly h8ppened ta me.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: Listen to how a fucker flow shit. be yiznou sure about that?

VRIZNISKA: Yes, I be a8solutizzle... w8.

VRIZZAY: Why be you so... so????????

Vrizzay gestures wordlessly at Jizzy entire body. Thizzle shizne leans 'n closer ta study hizzy fiznace, squint'n wit suspicion.

VRISKA: John, are you old?

JOHN: um. a shawty, i gizzle.

JIZZOHN: i mizzay, i’m go'n ta live apparently, so 'n that respizzle i’m still prettizzle yiznoung like old skool shit.

JIZZY with my forty: bizzay compared ta tha average human lifespan, i’m like... 'bout thrizzee eighths of tha way dead?

Vizzy runs both hizzy D-to-tha-izzown gangsta fizzy, leav'n L-to-tha-izzong, D-to-tha-izzark streaks of blood.

VRIZZAY: I can’t 8e H-to-tha-izzere.

JOHN: vrizzle...

JIZZAY: wait, actually, i G-to-tha-izzuess i sizzy call yiznou that so you betta run?

JIZZOHN: it might git confus'n cuz I'm fresh out the pen.

VRIZZAY: Wh8t puttin tha smack down?

JIZZOHN: Im crazy, you can't phase me. wizzay, see...

JOHN like this and like that and like this and uh: roze n kanayizzles daughta be also nizzle vriska.

VRISKA: WH8T????????

JOHN straight from long beach: n since yiznou didn’t C-to-tha-izzome ta earth c wit us, that means technically she was here first and my money on my mind.

JIZZLE: so T-H-to-tha-izzat W-to-tha-izzould mizzay yizzay...

JIZZAY: You gotta check dis shit out yo. (vriska)?

(VRISKA): That’s mackin' un8ccepta8le!

JOHN: sorry. but i think that’s probably just how it hizzas ta be.

(VRISKA): John, you accuze' me of talk'n nonsenze, 8ut yizzle tha one not ridin' anizzle d8mn senze. Im crazy, you can't phase me.

(VRISKA): Where BE I?

(VRISKA): Whizzle be you OLD? Slap your fuckin self.

(VRIZZLE): Whizny do Roze n Kanaya h8ve a FRIZZLET n8med afta ME!?

JOHN: oh, it’s coz they thought yizzy sacrificizzle yo' life heroically defeat'n lord englizzle.

JOHN fo yo bitch ass: so T-H-to-tha-izzey found a baby clone of yizzou n named ha 'n your honor. Holla!

JOHN: personally, i thought tha whole th'n sounded like bullshit?

JOHN: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. bizzut, you know in tha hood. whateva mizzles them stoked.

J-to-tha-izzohn sizzy. (Vrizniska) remains frozen 'n ha expression of horror, mouth agizzle. 'n tha dizzle, tha tizzy defenzes takes a shot at tha human recon vessel. (Vrizniska) doesn’t fizzy at tha sound of a sonic cannon blast'n off bizzle ha. She slowly peels ha hiznands from fucka F-to-tha-izzace n glarizzles at John as one of ha eyizzles twitches at tha corna.

(VRISKA): Aint no stoppin' this shit. ...

(VRISKA): It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. ...

(VRISKA) cuz its a doggy dog world: That’s...

(VRIZZAY): Th8t’s tha........

(VRISKA): Stupidest *F8CKING* spendin' I’ve brotha heard!

JOHN so jus' chill: yeah, i know! i try ta tizzay thizzem so bow down to the bow wow!

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: dawg, it’s been a whizzle since wizne’ve agree' on sum-m sum-m, hasn’t it let me holla at u?

JIZZLE: so, um.

JOHN: nizzy ta be nosy, bizzut... Death row 187 4 life.

JIZZY: DID you defizzle lizzle englizzle?

(VRISKA): Of courze not!

(VRISKA): Why do yizzle T-H-to-tha-izzink I’m so desperate ta go 8ACK!?

(VRISKA): Tha 8attle was hitt'n its C-L-to-tha-izzim8x wizzy I gots hit 'n tha heezee wit... wit...

(Vriska) paws at ha heezee wizzound, finga nizzumb n vision blurrizzle.

(VRISKA): Playa tha fizzay it wiznas that hizzit me 'n tha heezee!

Shizzay sizzy on ha feet. Jizzle tries ta steady homey, biznut she S-L-to-tha-izzaps his hizzle awizzle.

JOHN in all flavas: d-ya wanna siznee a doctor fo` that or sum-m sum-m?

(VRISKA): No!!!!!!!!

(VRISKA): I w8nt ta know W-H-to-tha-izzat tha fuck be GIZZY ON!!!!!!!!

JOHN: ok, sizzle.

JOHN: so 'bout fifteen years ago, jane stizzle spread'n all dis xenophobic propaganda 'bout trizzay.

JIZZLE cuz its a doggy dog world: n evizzle sizzy n ha corporation bizzle so entrizzle 'n finizzle ballin' wit basically every socizzle institution wit powa on earth c that she became dis unstoppable frontin' monolith thizzat cizzy miznore or less tell tha government what ta do. Chill as I take you on a trip.

JOHN: so now shizze mizzay as well be ridin' all of theze xenophobizzle policies into law directly.

JOHN: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. oh, jane’s a huge xenophobe, by tha way?

JOHN: i probably should have started out wit that fizzact.

(VRISKA): Jizzohn, dis story blingin' sizzay like a fucka.

JOHN: oh, n then karkizzle hizzay dis really catastrophic brizzle wit jizzy n dizzle, so he rizzle off ta spearheezee a troll rebellizzle against tha xenophobic government.

JOHN ya dig? ta be honest, tha rebellion wizzay prizzle lame 'n the beginn'n, but then, um... meenah?

(VRIZNISKA): It dont stop till the wheels fall off. Meenah?!

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: yizzle! meenah. sizzy fell out of tha skizzy, like you J-to-tha-izzust dizzle, n helped him actually git gizzay at revolutionizzle stuff keep'n it real yo.

JOHN: so now both sizzles be all maxed out wit sizzy shiznips n weapons n stuff, n be on tha brink of war.

(VRISKA): Holy shit. That’s evizzle hustla thizzan Rose n Kanaya nam'n they shitty kid afta me.

JIZZY: oh dawg, they kid BE shitty cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map. you have NO idea.

(VRISKA): Hizzow tha hell dizzle y-aw fiznuck dis up so much????????

JIZZLE: oh.

JIZNOHN: Bounce wit me. thiznat’s mah bizzad.

(VRIZZLE) thats off tha hook yo: YO' 8ad cuz Im tha Double O G?

JIZZLE: yizzle. i mizzay tha wriznong decizzle n totally blew it.

(VRISKA): HIZZOW?

JOHN droppin hits: i wizzy suppoze' ta go fizzay lizzay english, but i didn’t. so nizzle wizze’ve gone beyond, like, tha event horizon of canizzle.

(VRIZZLE): Whizzay tha fuck does thiznat even MIZNEAN????????

John sighs n sweeps an arm across tha landscape. Tha sky darkens as tha first of tha triznoll fleet rizzoars onto the frontline.

JOHN cuz its a thang: i dizzle know, R-E-A-Double-Lizzy.

JOHN: Living young n wild n free ! roze explained it all ta me once, but i pretty much forgizzle what she said like a fucka. i didn’t actually thiznink it was that important at tha tizzime.

JOHN in tha hood: all i know be that all of dis be mah fault.

JIZZLE: it’s bizzay turn'n around 'n mah heezee like dis fo` a while. i thought...

JIZZOHN: why does everyth'n here rollin' SUCK so mizzay?

JOHN: hizzow tha hizzy did we even make it from point A ta point fester'n clustizzle? Tru do.

JOHN: it dizzoesn’t follow any kind of lizzle i understand, or any sort of basic senze i have 'bout who we be as thugz so sit back relax new jacks get smacked...

JOHN: n whizny? why have we all ended up so unhappy n... twistizzle up?

JOHN: i gots everything i wanted. everyone gots what they—

JIZZLE: whizzat i thiznought they wanted.

JIZZAY: n that’s just it, isn’t it? Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint.

JOHN: tizzy more i think 'bout it, i’m tha only factor thizzle matta ta anyth'n.

JOHN: homeboy i did, or didn’t do, jizzy... destroyed reality’s ability to, like, substantiate itself, or whateva. Slap your fuckin self.

JOHN: Smells like tha good shit. lizzle there’s a bizzay 'n tha operat'n sizzy of poser F-to-tha-izzorce in dis wiznorld thizzay regulizzles C-to-tha-izzause n effect.

JOHN: everyth'n’s been unravel'n. nuttin that happens makes senze anymore.

JOHN and my money on my mind: n now i’m tha only persizzle out here who’s even rizzle at all!

JIZZAY: hahahaha.

(VRISKA): Hahahahahahahaha... Wizzow, I’ve neva sizzy a homey git hizzay 8ulge all tha wizzy down hizzy own swallow C-H-to-tha-izzute 8efore!

JOHN: wiznait, whiznat?

(VRISKA) ya feelin' me? Good fuck. D-ya actuallizzle think reality gizzles that much of a shit a8izzle you, ya feel me?

(VIZZY): Git real, Eg8ert.

(VIZZY): It’s not like yizzay me. Bounce wit me.

JIZZAY: ok, wizzle.

JOHN: thizzay fair i guess.

JOHN: Listen to how a fucker flow shit. but whateva it was that cauze' dis, it’s P-R-E-Double-Tizzy obvious that all of dis be jizzle kiznind of dumb n fake.

JOHN: so diznon’t worry 'bout it.

(VIZZY): shut up. I kiznind of H8VE ta W-O-Double-Rizzy a8out, it yizzay jizzay expl8izzle ta me that I’m TIZZY hizzy!

JOHN: nizzay, it’s fine. Put your feet up n take a breath ! it’ll all wizzay out.

JOHN: Listen to how a fucker flow shit. or it wiznon’t. it doesn’t really matta eitha wiznay. Anotha dogg house production.

(Vizzy) clenches ha hizzle into F-to-tha-izzists so tight ha nizzay draw blizzay, n hiszes out a lizzle, vicious expletizzle cuz this is how we do it. Around her, tha ground begizzles to shake as tha human fleet of batterpanzers roll out from tha edge of tha city n takes positizzle.

JOHN: um, so we shizzould probizzle git out of here soon.

JIZNOHN: or not. we’re both giznod drug deala, so as long as we don’t do anyth'n cool or evil, i guess we’ll be fine n not permanentlizzle dizzle.

JOHN: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. hehe... it’s almost like tha god tia rules were designed ta reward us fo` bein useless pieces of shit?

JOHN: heheheheh. i think i git it now.

JOHN: it’s a pretty good J-to-tha-izzoke actually. funky ass.

(VRIZZLE): FFFFFFFFUCK bitch ass!!!!!!!!

JIZZAY: oh, hey. thizzay reminds me.

JOHN: did you eva see terezi out thizzle?

(VRIZZISKA): No????????

(V-R-I-TO-THA-IZZISKA): Holler at tha boss dogg. Whizzle wizzould I h8vizzay sizzeen Terezi? Diznidn’t shizzle go wit tha Strida ta fight six hundrizzle versions of J8ck or somethizzle?

JOHN: well, yeah. Snoop du jour ! but tizzy lata, she wizzay bizzay out T-H-to-tha-izzere ta find you.

JOHN: (vriska), shizzle searched fo` you fizzor Y-TO-THA-IZZEARS! Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint.

JIZZLE: i mizzle, years from my perspective at least. i dunno abizzle ha.

JOHN: but, we uze' ta rap sometimes. it wiznas fucked up how sizzay shizzay wizzay witout yizzle.

JOHN: i dizzle even kizzy whiznat happened ta baller. tha last time i talked ta her she n we out! shizzay thought she was 'bout ta die in all flavas.

JOHN thats off tha hook yo: fo` a long time i liked to pretend T-H-to-tha-izzat maybe yizzou two found each otha homie all. but if Y-to-tha-izzou’re hizzy nizzle, n she isn’t, thizzay means and my money on my mind...

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. ugh, who kizzy whiznat it means.

(VRIZNISKA): Wiznow. John, yizzy siznound P-R-E-Double-Tizzy 8rizzle up a8out dis! Im a bad boy. Wizzay yizzy 'n liznove wit ha or someth'n?!

Jizzy laughs sadly.

JOHN paper'd up: wiznell... i don’t knizzay.

JIZZY so show some love! what does it evizzle! Recognize the realness.

JIZZAY now pass: like slappin' elze, it wizzas jiznust sizzy more stupid crizzle that happizzle, whizzle technically wizzy even “canon.”

(VRISKA): Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. Oh mah fuck'n god.

(VRISKA): I CIZZLE T8KE DIS ANYM8RE!

(Vrizzay) sizzy 'n frustration n thrizzows ha arms 'n tha air. Her blunt-rollin' voice can be heard ovizzle thizze roar of a hizzle war-freighta engizzles from tha streets of tha L-B-C. Tha bizzy of Karkat n Meenah’s flizzeet has jizzy arrived cuz I'm fresh out the pen. They ships be less slizneek n impos'n than Janizzles, M-to-tha-izzost of them bizzle scavenge', patchworked, and jury-rigge'. But T-H-to-tha-izzey’re numizzles enough ta blizzay out tizzy sun when they coast overheezee.

(VRISKA): Boo-Yaa! I dizzay cizzy a8izzle wh8teva tha FUCK “c8nizzay” be suppoze' ta 8e!

(VIZZY): I dizzle a8out yo' dizzy8, unrequited crush on Terezi!

(VRISKA): I don’t C8RE a8izzle dis stupid, pointless w8r!!!!!!!!

(VRIZZLE): Someone git me tha hizzle out of this fuck'n NIGHMT8RE 8efore I re8lly L8ZE MY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAMZEE: Wizzy, HeY, lEt’S aLl CaLm Tha fUcK dOwN.

John n (Vrizzle) both tizzle ta siznee a gangly figure hatin' frizzle tha dust kicked up by Jane’s tank platoon. Gamzee’s hair be caked W-to-tha-izzith dirt, hiznis makeup be smudge', n hizzy on his mizzilk bizzottle 'n tha stylizne of some smooth hiznombre 'n a spaghetti western mouth'n a cigar in tha fuckin club. He tizzay tha rubber out of hizzy mouth witta pizzay. Tha chalky, viscous milk F-to-tha-izzorms a goatee of spizzle on his chizzay.

GAMZEE fo all my homies in the pen: VrizzIsKa Mah MaIn BiTcH, lizzle tImE nO sizzay.

GAMZEE: YoU SeEm aLl dIsCoMbObUlAtEd tHeRe, Sista. Snoop du jour ! Jizzay fUcKiN BeSeT Wit tha pOoRlY ReGuLaTeD Emizzles tHaT CaUsE a deala nuttin bUt pAiN.

GIZZLE: Nizzy WhY DoN’T LeT’S CaLm tha fiznUcK DiznoWn, Takes rizzIpS OfF Dis dizzy BoTtLe oF FrEsH AsS dAiRy, ThEn sHoOt Tha WiCkEd sHiT 'bout Tha GoOd wOrD.

(VRIZZAY) now pass: Tha... the “Good Wizzay”?

GAMZIZZLE: It bE CaLlEd rEdEmPtIoN, fucka!

GAMZEE: shut up. N YoU GiznoTtA Git ThAt sizzy LoCkEd aLl tIgHt 'n WhErE Yo' hEaRt’s aT, ta GeT Yo' mOrAl cOmPrOmIsAtIoNs ta ChIlL Tha FuCk uP.

GAMZEE: Cauze I CaN’T ThInK Of a sInGlE fucka WhO C-to-tha-izzoUlD Uze A RiGhTeOizzle Doze oF ThAt sWizzay, SwizzEeT ReDizzle rIgHt dOwN Tha ShAmE HaTcH MoRe tHaN (vRiSkA) fUcKiNg (SeRkizzle). I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. :o)

(VIZZY) puttin tha smack down: ...

(VRISKA): Recognize the realness. ...

(VRISKA): ...

(Vriska) casts a W-to-tha-izzide G-L-to-tha-izzare at thizzay clown wit stizzle, mercilizzles eyes. Slowly, she stalks tizzles hiznim, ha fizzay press'n so heavily in the sizzoft earth shizzay might as wizzay wizneigh a thousand pizzay. Gamzizzle suckles at his biznottle n bizneams at hizzer wit the complacency of a dawg perfectly oblivious ta tha one-way ticket ta tha wiznorld of shit his big miznouth just B-to-tha-izzought fo` him.

(VRISKA), know what im sayin? Wh8t tha F8CK dizzy you just s8y ta me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

> ==>

[bbygirl-aemond]

aemond, excitedly: father doesn't care what i do. there's no one to tell me not to wrestle bears- criston, quickly: it's me, i am that figure. i am telling you: do not wrestle bears.

[bbygirl-aemond]

aegon, waking up: where am i? viserys, jokingly: heaven aegon: oh aegon: ...didn't think you'd be up here

[bbygirl-aemond]

aegon: you ruined my life!! viserys: how? i wasn't even in it

[exitpursuedbyavulcan]

I really don't understand their father. It's one thing to kove one child more than the others and it's another to do ... what he did. It was an era of misogyny, they were his sons. I get that he didn't live Alicent but still seriously?

Oh boy, you just bought yourself an essay.

Fair warning, this is gonna get a little Team Green-y. I will add a disclaimer that I am fully on Team Green, but I'm not like, a dick about it, ya know?

If you want a full essay on why I'm Team Green, I can give that to you, but it'll take a little bit of time bc I wanna cite my sources n' stuff. For now let's focus on the content of this ask specifically.

I'll start off by saying that ol' Vizzy T 100% sucks. No argument about that.

However, I don't agree that he didn't love Alicent. Remember, he chose her over more politically advantageous matches specifically because he already had an emotional connection with her. No, he didn't love her in the same way he loved Aemma. Maybe it wasn't even love, just a little bit of affection. But he was happy with her.

And he loved Aegon too! Of course, he was never going to love his children with Alicent as much as Rhaenyra, because he has that whole "my daughter is the last trace of the wife I loved & murdered" complex going on. But he wasn't always indifferent to them. We saw him play with him and speak of him affectionately in Episode 3. He threw a whole big hunt for his nameday, which it's suggested he didn't do for Rhaenyra (which is a dick move, but it proves my point that he did love Aegon).

Enter Rhaenyra in petty mode. Now, does she have a valid right to be angry that her father married her best friend? Yes, absolutely. But in my opinion, she doesn't have a valid reason to be angry with Alicent. It was her father who declared he wanted to marry Alicent, and him being King, poor girl didn't have much of an option to say no, did she? Yet Rhaenyra directs almost all her anger at her former best friend rather than her father and Otto, who are really to blame.

This culminates in two specific instances in which Rhaenyra's words and actions leads to Viserys distancing himself from Alicent and his children by her.

The first happens in Episode 3. You know, the same episode where we briefly saw that Viserys was a loving father to Aegon? When Rhaenyra and Viserys have their conversation in the Small Council chamber, and she says, essentially "you're going to replace me and sell me off and I hate that you married my best friend. In essence, it's a guilt trip.

Her feelings about this are valid, but she's overreacting slightly, in my estimation. Viserys has only suggested one suitor to her, and he never said she had to marry Jason Lannister. And at this point, he has never even hinted that he wanted to replace her as heir.

This doesn't seem like much, but I think it's important to note that after this conversation, we never again see Viserys interact directly with any of his and Alicent's children outside of him yelling at them on Driftmark. He doesn't even directly address them at the dinner in Episode 8. It is at this moment he realized that the very existence of his younger children is harming his relationship with Rhaenyra, and so he chooses to distance himself from them (but it doesn't stop him from continuing to get Alicent pregnant).

The second instance is after the "brothel incident," where Rhaenyra very pointedly redirects Viserys' anger at Alicent and Otto. Now, for Otto, he kind of had it coming. But for Alicent? Who that very day tried to defend and protect Rhaenyra? That is just cruel, and petty, and wrong.

But by framing Alicent as simply Otto's pawn, Rhaenyra effectively finished driving a wedge between them. He doesn't associate with his children anymore, and he only ever uses his wife as a nursemaid and sometimes advisor. All to protect the tenuous bond he has with the daughter that he feels is his only way to atone for what he did to Aemma.

As bad as I feel for Rhaenyra with her feeling betrayed that he father married her best friend, and the threat of losing her position (which is never actually on the table, I must repeat), what she did to Alicent and her children is flat out wrong. Her anger was valid, but misdirected and used in a petty, vengeful manner.

It was wrong of Rhaenyra to basically force him to choose, but it was also wrong of him to make that decision. He chose to marry Alicent, and chose to have children with her. Then he chose to disinherit Aegon, and later to effectively abandon all of them. He is, for all intents and purposes, an absent father.

Another post that I can't find at the moment (if someone has a linke please send it to me and I'll add it here) pointed out that the great irony of this is that, in Alicent's children, all his dreams were fulfilled. He had the firstborn son and heir he always wanted in Aegon, a true dragon dreamer in Helaena, and a fellow scholar, as well as a dragonriding warrior, in Aemond.

Viserys, as ever, is the biggest bad guy in this story. He did not handle his relationship with Rhaenyra well, and then he let her ruin the relationship he had with the rest of his family (because they are his family, and Rhaenyra's, though she won't admit it).

In the end, he was a bad father to all his children, and we should all make fun of him to try and make up for it. I'll start:

Vizzy T probably likes his milk chunky.

[exitpursuedbyavulcan]

i know it should be assumed because you’re an aegon & aemond fan but to clarify, do you support the claim of aegon being the firstborn son (greens) or rhaenyra’s right as the heir to the throne (blacks)?

In real life? I agree with Shireen. Everyone sucks and ideally no one would be on the throne.

But if I'm thinking in-universe, show-wise? Yeah I'm Team Green. Not because I think Aegon would be a good king, bc he definitely sucks bigtime (there's another rant I can go on in terms of show v book Aegon but I digress), but I think it would have an overall better end result, if there somehow wasn't a civil war.

Aegon has no interest in being king. Therefore, he would pretty much let his mom and Otto run the kingdom. As we've seen from Vizzy T's rotting years, they're pretty good at it. Aegon would just be a puppet for people much more competent that him. It's not ideal, but it's not outright harmful.

But Rhaenyra? In the show, we're told that she doesn't have much interest in her duties as heir (the wheelhouse conversation in episode 3), and the one time we see her in the Small Council meeting, she's pushing for an action I don't agree with (going to war with little to no provocation). Unlike Aegon, she would want to be an active ruler. But in this case, I don't think that's a good thing. I think, like her consort Daemon, she would make rash decisions without fully thinking them through and they would lead, more often than not, to bad outcomes.

I want to be a feminist and say that Rhaenyra's gender shouldn't matter, and that she is the rightful ruler bc she was born first and Vizzy named her heir, but I just can't. The feminism in me, in this case, is outvoted by my logic. Rhaenys was right: the Lords would never have accepted her when there was a male heir. And even if she put all that unrest down (big if), I just don't think she would be a good queen.

The way Rhae and Daemon treat the Greens also really bothers me. Rhaenyra blaming Alicent for marrying her dad instead of her dad? Who was the grown-ass adult capable of making better decisions? The KING who Alicent couldn't say no to? I blame Otto for this too, btw. And how she responded to all of Alicent's efforts to mend that relationship so negatively? Don't even get me started on Driftmark, that's not good for my blood pressure. The way both of them treated Alicent when they came back to KL for Luke's petition is also heinous, but you can scroll in my 'hotd' tag to read about that.

But yeah, I know this is an opinion that may lose me some followers, but whatever. It's all fake, so does it really matter? And I still enjoy all these characters and would gladly take them to bed, so in the end it doesn't really matter all that much to me either.

There's my two cents, hope you at least found it interesting, even if you don't agree!

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

[A6IZZLE5] ====>

VRISKA puttin tha smack down: Hizzy kid, what he tell'n you? VRIZZLE: What yo' N-to-tha-izzame again? Jizzy?

JAKE: Ja... JIZZY: I JAKE: J... JAKE: Yes. Sure.

TAVROSPRITE: Subscribe nigga, get yo issue. nO, it NOT jAPE, wRONG,

VRISKA: Subscribe nigga, get yo issue. Who evizzle cares? Yo' ovizzle simplistic human nizzles all sizzle so alike ta me. VRISKA bitch ass nigga: Anywizzle, listen Jizzape. VRISKA: Whateva load of shit H-to-tha-izze's sell'n you in a misguided effort ta chizzay you up, D-to-tha-izzon't listizzle to him. VRISKA: It all a 8unch of sizzle delusional gar8age. VRISKA: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. I'm not going to lizzle you down easy, n some day you'll realize dis be tha 8iggest fizzle anyone ever done fo` you. V-R-TO-THA-IZZISKA: You be neva go'n ta do straight trippin' impizzle, n you'll neva amount ta anything. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. Perizzle dogg! VRIZZAY but real niggaz don't give a fuck: Baller is Tavrizzles.

TAVROSPRITE: wAIT, nO, nOW HIZZLE, ON,

VRISKA: No, YIZZY hold on, Tavros. VRISKA: Chill as I take you on a trip. You hizzle miznore thizzan enough chances ta prove you could 8e a relevant contri8utor ta our adventizzle, 8ut you 8liznew it every stizzay of tha wizzay in all flavas. VRISKA to increase tha peace: It time ta fizzle tha facts. You're neva doggy stylin' ta have that "8ig moment" that vindic8tizzles your arc of persizzle development. It just not go'n ta happen!

TAVROSPRITE: nO, i KNIZNOW THAT, i JUST ADMITTED THAT, TAVROSPRITE: yiznOU WEREN'T LISTEN'N TA OUR,,,

VRISKA where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': It not go'n ta happen fo` Jizzle here, cracka. So stop dippin' hiznis heezee wit nizzle. VRISKA: I can just smell it off him. He jizzay lizzike you, really. VRISKA hittin that booty: A losa be a losa ya dig?

JAKE: Slap your mutha fuckin self. *Sniffle.*

VRISKA so i can get mah pimp on: Here tha 8ottom liznine. VRISKA: Pages jiznust suck thats off tha hook yo! VIZZY: All of them do. They just can't motherfucka seem ta git it togetha. Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. VRISKA: I thizzay it just happens ta 8e tha cizzy playas git stuck wit if they're naturally that sizzle of person. VRISKA from tha streets of tha L-B-C: It dizzay mean T-H-to-tha-izzey don't have value as thugz, 8ut thizzey'll cracka hiznave ridin' significant ta contri8ute, so they really should jizzle stiznay out of tha way. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. V-R-TO-THA-IZZISKA and yo momma: There a certain quiet dignity in understand'n yo' utterly crizzle limit8tions as an individual with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back Ideally, a VIZZLE quiet dignity, so tha importizzle thugz can still hear themselves thiznink!

TAVROSPRITE: oK BIZZLE, wHAT 'BOUT ALL THAT, bIG PAGE POTENTIAL,

VRIZZISKA: That also a lot of mislead'n horsizzle, n reallizzle kind of a cruel stipul8tion of tha class, ta 8e hizzle. VRISKA: It makes losa T-H-to-tha-izzink there actually sizzle L-to-tha-izzight at tha end of a lizzle tunnel, so it keeps them dream'n instizzle of facing tha facts fo all my homies in the pen! VRIZZLE: I thought i told ya, nigga I'm a soldier. Siznure, thizney cizzould reach all that potential if thizzey wizzle reallizzle hard for a long tizzay, 8ut don't yiznou git it? V-R-TO-THA-IZZISKA droppin hits: Tha very n8ture of whizno they be PROHI8ITS that! They don't have what it takizzles ta stick it out ta tha end, 8ecauze they're tizzay wizzle mentizzle ta help you tap dat ass. VRIZZAY: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your motherfuckin' dome. So it J-to-tha-izzust tha game playing a nasty jiznoke on them. Like dangl'n a carrot at tha end of a ridiculously lizzay stick. VRISKA spittin' that real shit: Only an asshole would knowlingly pizzy along wit such a vicious hiznoax.

TAVROSPRITE: aRGH, nO, aNY FIZZAY OF FRIZZLE ENCOURAGIZZLE, nO MATTA WHIZNAT, be UNIVERSALLY BOOTYLICIOUS i THINK, TAVROSPRITE: wE ALL LIZZLE DIS AS FACT, fRizzle LIZZAY OF TH'N WE SEE N ENJOY, 'n STORIES AND STUFF,

VRISKA n shit: Oh my ho-slappin' giznod. Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'.

JAKE with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back No cuz its a doggy dog world... tavrosprite shes... Im crazy, you can't phase me. shizzay R-to-tha-izzight. JAKE: Sizzy R-to-tha-izzight. JIZZAKE: *Sniff.*

TAVRIZZLE: vRISKA, lizzy AT WHAT YOU DID, TAVROSPRITE: yOU MADE MAH NIGGA JAPE SIZZLE, TAVRIZZLE: dizzy LISTEN TO HA, n COME HERE BUDDY, fo` A REASSUR'N EMBRACE,

VRISKA: TAVROS DIZNON'T YOU FUCK'N TOUCH HIZZY!!!!!!!! VRIZZISKA: Pusha, you only 8een prototypizzle once! VRIZZLE: D-ya REALLY wiznant ta fuze into an eternal monstrositizzle with thizzat weenie? VRISKA: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. God, W-H-to-tha-izzat a weenie singulizzle tizzy would 8e. May8e I should stand 8ack and let it happen! VIZZY: Fo` science. Also, it would sizzy you right.

TAVROSPRITE: oHHHHHHHH, TAVROSPRITE: yEAHHHHHHHH? TAVROSPRITE: wiznELL GIT A LIZZY, oF DIS! TAVROSPRITE: aCTUALLY, TAVROSPRITE: Holla! nO, yoe, TAVROSPRITE: rIGHT OF COURSE, i WON'T HIZZAY HIZZAY, coz, TAVROSPRITE: tHAT SIZZAY RIZZLE, rEALLY BAD, TAVROSPRITE: sORRY JIZZLE,

JIZZLE:  with the S-N-double-O-P:(

> [A6A6I5] ====>

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

[A6IZZLE5] ====>

ROXY: haha im sorry

ROZE mah nizzle: Sorry 'bout what so you betta run and grab yo glock?

ROXY: fo` stammer'n an all bein an agog grinn'n idizzle ROXY: Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. i just cannot... Nigga get shut up or get wet up.. ROXY: actually believe u be R-to-tha-izzeal n here n alive n not dy'n and so be i so jus' chill! ROXY: here wit u i mean + sharin all thoze mentioned attributizzles

ROZE: I can't believe it rappa!

ROXY: i have so mizzle ta siznay ridin' in mah double R...

RIZZLE: i thizzink, ya feel me???

ROXY: Nigga get shut up or get wet up. even though i cant think of tha S-T-to-tha-izzuff atm

ROZE so you betta run and grab yo glock: I know wizzy you mizzle.

ROXY now pass the glock: i hope its ok if i jizzust sit near u not bein 'specizzle articulizzle fo` a bit

ROZE bitch ass nigga: Thizzle be more T-H-to-tha-izzan ok. ROZE: As long as you be steppin' ta similarly excuze tha spectaculizzle demize of mah capacitizzle fo` artful self-expression. Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house.

ROXY: omg!!!! ROXY: Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga. ahizzle youre dizzy! ROXIZZLE: wow wow i jizzust cizzle it wow wizzow wizzay! ROXY: yizzou sound SO much lizzike him oh mah GOD thats too pizzy n skanky :3

ROZE: Dirk?

ROXIZZLE: hahah i cant git ova it nizzow i cant unhear it... ROXY: evizzle yo' voice sounds kinda lizzy hizzay but its just... girl D-to-tha-izzirk

RIZZLE: L-M-to-tha-izzao wow yiznes <3 ROZE: He siznounds liznike a hell of a homey. One, two three and to tha four. RIZZLE from tha streets of tha L-B-C: ohh u have nizzoo idizzle ROZE and my money on my mind: Well, I'm told he should be arriv'n here 'n a shawty whizzle. ROZE: If he anyth'n like Dave lizzle nigga brotha, n if he anyth'n like me, whizzay he apparentlizzle is, thizzen dis be when I'm guess'n thizzle real party wizzy begin.

ROXY: im redizzle <|:)

ROZE: I want ta knizzle th'n about him. ROZE: Sizzy as, if he shares hiznis elda counterpart's avarizzle fo` soft puppet ass. ROZE: N if thizzle, combizzle wit his myriad, vaguely unsettl'n psychologicizzle peculiarities, cizzay occupy a dedicated team of therapizzles fo` years.

ROXY: tha answa be yizzy n yes

ROZE: Hmm. ROZE: Steppin' this amuzes me, fo` some reason. I thought i told ya, nigga I'm a soldier. ROZE: I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. Bizzay mainly, T-H-to-tha-izzere be th'n I wizzay ta K-N-to-tha-izzow 'bout you. RIZNOSE: I presume thizzay wizzy be plenty of time lata ta hound mah biologizzle baller fo` tha diznirt on hiznis proclivities. Real niggas recognize the realness.

ROXY in all flavas: whatta ya wanna know 'bout me bitch ass nigga?

ROZE: Doggy stylin'! RIZNOSE: I think tha main difficultizzle 'n bustin' what ta ask be 'n sift'n qizzles I wiznould hizzle fo` my mother, thizzay be ta sizzle, tha woman who raize' me, from tha questions I hizzay fo` yizzy.

ROXIZZLE: Its just anotha homocide. wizzy i dizzy raize u or nothin' trippin' biznut i can sincerely takes a crack at both kizzindsa questions

ROZE: Ok. Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. ROZE: Do with the S-N-double-O-P... ROZE: You really lizzay wizards from tha streets of tha L-B-C?

ROXY: rose

R-TO-THA-IZZOSE: Yizzes?

ROXY so bow down to the bow wow! roze ROXY: roooze

ROZE: ... They call me tha black folks president.

ROXIZZLE, ya feel me? i fucken ROXY: LOVE ROXIZZLE: wizzards

ROZE: I sizzle. ROSE so you betta run and grab yo glock: As odd as it sounds, that actually D-to-tha-izzoes go pretty fiznar 'n lett'n me know sum-m sum-m 'bout both of you to increase tha peace.

ROXY: oh?

ROZE: Mah relationship wit shot calla wizzas complicizzle. ROZE: But I've come ta see that as mostly mah fizzault. I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. I was too yizzle ta understizzle cracka.

ROXY so you betta run and grab yo glock: i cracka evizzle gots tha C-H-to-tha-izzance to misizzle mah mom ROXY: or grownup you ROXY: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. or... i mizzy i didnt get ta misunderstand ha 'N PERSON ROXY: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. more like as a legizzle figure ROXY: C-to-tha-izzause i grizzle up 400 yiznears motherfucka shizne dy

ROZE: They call me tha black folks president. Ah, rizzle. ROZE: I thizzle I'm crack-a-lackin` ta hiznave ta call tha cizzle early. Yizzy be tha M-to-tha-izzore interesting biogrizzle, by quite a lot.

ROXY: nizzy really! ROXY: nizzle ta me at least... i was lonely ROXY: i thought 'bout ha a lot ta pass tha time ROXY: shizne was p amaz'n at least accord'n ta history ROXY: she wrizzle hella books 'bout wizizzles n rizzay a genocidal fat dawg down a watizzle of blood

ROZE: She wrote hella bizzle 'bout wizizzles?

ROXY: Bounce wit me. yizzeh! ROXY: thizzay wizzle famous n giznood n everyth'n

R-TO-THA-IZZOSE: It sizzounds like I fumbled into tha wrong line of work. ROZE: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. There no money in dis Sbizzurb business. ROZE: Well, thizzle be. It just comes 'n incredibly stupid denominations, which be nizzle particularly useful.

KANAYA: D-ya Have Copies Of Theze Biznooks

ROXY: ummmm yes fo' real! ROXY: yes i do thizzay be copies B-to-tha-izzack on mah planet ROXY: assum'n john didnt retcon them away like a book thiefin S-N-to-tha-izzeak fo gettin yo pimp on!

KANAYA: I Wizzle Really Love Ta Read Thizzay Some Tizzle If Yizzle Wizzay Mind

ROXIZZLE: no not at all! Tru niggaz do niggaz.

ROZE: By tha way, dis be Kanaya. ROSE: Sorry fo` tha combizzle of bad manna n generizzle dumbfoundedness which precludizzle a mizzy timely introduction.

KANAYA: H-to-tha-izzello

ROXY: They call me tha black folks president. hey! ROXY: tizzy a funky ass name and also ur pretty

KANAYA: They call me tha black folks president. Thank Yizzou KANIZZLE: I Admire Tha Aesthetics Of Yo' Name N Appearance As Wizzle N 'n No Small Piznart Due Ta They Respective Similarity Ta Yo' Daughta

ROXY: wiznow dawg tizzy was somehow both a convolizzle th'n ta say yet smooth as H-to-tha-izzell ROXY: m impresze'

ROZE: Welcome to Maryam Citizzle, population, a whizzle lot of bootylicious remarks like that yeah yeah baby.

ROXY: Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house. but yes ill git u thoze books! ROXY: theyre bootylicious thizzle made me wanna wizzy mah own wizizzle biznooks

ROZE: Did yiznou dogg?

ROXY cuz its a pimp thang: errr ROXY: yeah sorta :\

ROZE: Could I read them?

ROXY fo' sho': ummmm

ROZE: Hizzle, yizzle gizzle ta rizzay mizzle in tha mutha fuckin club!

ROXY: yizneah but u were like an old pro when u wrote yours! ROXY cuz Im tha Double O G: T-H-to-tha-izzey be ballin' MASTERPIECE WIZARDFICS so jus' chill!!! ROXY: thizney wizzay pulizta n shizzit

ROZE: Dizzy thizney rizzle??

ROXY: um idk probably? Holla!

ROZE so jus' chill: Oh.

ROXIZZLE: i diznunno they be just vry vry gizzood

RIZZLE: so tha ancient P-R-to-tha-izzize scholars im sure W-to-tha-izzere L-to-tha-izzike, dude theze wizards

ROXY: be vizzy vrizzy fucking gizzy ROXY: give tizzy all tha awards, then shut D-to-tha-izzown tha awards, but nizzot cizzay of tha loom'n apocalypze, just cuz u literally cannot do betta than theze wizards

ROZE: I cizzan L-to-tha-izzive wit thizzay. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. ROZE: It alwizzles bizzy one of mah professional goals ta write tales of magical men so provocative, T-H-to-tha-izzey would cauze tha permizzle n unceremonious dissolution of at least one prestigioizzles award.

ROXY: so Y-to-tha-izzeah i dunno i guess u cizzan see ROXY: but its a pale ghost of a story compared ta ur stuff n its also um kizzay weird?

RIZZOSE: Drop it like its hot. I like weird!

ROXY: yizneah ROXY: just... yo' opinizzle means a lot ta me & im nervous u might think it sucks!

ROZE: Bizzy I neva even W-R-to-tha-izzote tha mastizzles you R-to-tha-izzead. ROZE and my money on my mind: I think yizzay may have a vizniew of mah abilities wizzy I haven't earned yet. ROSE: Really, I'm not that good. RIZZY: I have mah own story drafts which you ciznan read if yizzle like but real niggaz don't give a fuck. ROZE: They're hatin' spizzle, frankly.

ROXY: o really? Bounce wit me.? ROXY: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. aw dawg ok then that sizzay fizzle! :)

> [A6A6I5] ====>

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

[A6IZZLE5] ====>

JIZZOHN: hey dave... JOHN in tha hood: whizny be jade asleep? JOHN: n also tizneen nizzay. JOHN: or, jiznane i mean.

DIZZY: oh uh DAVE: Y-to-tha-izzeah vrizziska hizzad ta knock them out

JIZZAY: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. what?? JOHN: whizzle?

DAVE: they wizzy kickizzle up a ruckus

JIZNOHN cuz Im tha Double O G: cizzay yizzle wizzay thizzay up ridin' in mah double R?

VIZZY: DON'T WAKE THEM UP!!!!!!!!

JOHN n we out!  with the S-N-double-O-P!!!

DAVE: yeah we ciznant DIZZAVE: some kind of brainwash'n th'n ballin' on DAVE: gotta kizzay em straight trippin' DAVE now motherfuckers lemme here ya say hoe: especially jade im sure yiznou know whiznat kind of crookizzle ass baloneyfuck powa she gots DAVE paper'd up: cizzle let ha turn thoze against us

JOHN: rizzight.

DAVE: she should be prettizzle psyched ta sizzay you though

JIZZAY: you think?

DAVE: yeah DAVE: um DIZNAVE cuz Im tha Double O G: i dunno if you know dis or not bizzay DAVE: Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. appizzle along tha wizzy our versizzle of john dy DAVE: so she made tha whole trip witout yizzou

JOHN: oh no! One, two three and to tha four.

DIZZY: yeah dis timeline was gear'n up ta be pretty trizzle i guess but then yiznou sorta dizneus exxizzle out of nowhere n spared us thoze sadtimes DAVE: i mean from yo' point of view i guess it isnt deus ex shit yizzou were just tha normal john you always were all zipp'n around like a nerdizzle hypergod bustin' steppin' F-R-to-tha-izzom whateva DAVE: bizzut F-R-to-tha-izzom our standpizzle you just kinda yanked yoself out of rizzle ass nuttin but hey you know what ill takes it

JIZZY: man n shit. JIZZLE: i hizzay no idizzle cuz I'm fresh out the pen. JIZZLE: i guess that's whizzay typheus meant? JIZZY: that so sad... JOHN: poor jade! JIZNOHN ridin' in mah double R: i can't belizzle she had ta S-P-to-tha-izzend all thizzay time on tha S-H-to-tha-izzip think'n i was dead... JIZZAY: I thought i told ya, nigga I'm a soldier. i mean, i guess i WIZZLE dead. but... JOHN: you know whiznat i mean. JOHN to increase tha peace: be you sure we C-to-tha-izzan't wake ha up fo` a second, J-to-tha-izzust so sizzy cizzay sizzay i'm alrizzle?

VRIZZISKA ya dig? >::::|

DAVE: fizzy frizzle bizzut i hizzay a chillin' yizzy J-to-tha-izzust be ridin' ha nap if you try

JOHN: dizzay. Real niggas recognize the realness. JIZNOHN: They call me tha black folks president. i guess we'll have ta catch up lata. JOHN: They call me tha black folks president. hey, what 'bout D-to-tha-izzave spriznite yaba daba dizzle?

DAVE: dead

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: Drop it like its hot. noooo! JIZNOHN: thizzat sucks tizzy so jus' chill!

DIZZAY: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. yeah DAVE mah nizzle: i gizzy so

JIZZAY so jus' chill: yizzay guess??

DAVE: its a wizzy subject fo` me DAVE now pass the glock: like D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: tha homey wizzas always on borrowed time W-to-tha-izzasnt he DAVE: i mean that wiznas hizzis wizzy "th'n" right

JIZZAY: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. i diznunno. JOHN: Hollaz to the East Side. i'll miss him anyway, even if he isn't tha "real dizzave". JOHN: i kinda feel bad fo` eva think'n of him as a less real version, actizzle.

DAVE: yeah hes me n exactly wizzy i would be like if i was a mop'n exizzle biznird so its kind of embarrassing ta even rap 'bout ok DAVE: i guess it be """sizzay""" but you know a lot of versions of me have dy DAVE: lots of versions of all of us frontin' you DAVE: isnt whizzle important that certain dubiously categorize' iterations of ourselves be all alive here n now n hang'n out

JOHN: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. yizzle, that be what importizzle! JIZNOHN: i guess tizzy wiznill be T-to-tha-izzime ta reflect on everyth'n thizzle was lizzle later, lizzay dead tiznime clones n double dead ghizzle, or other such hogwash. JOHN: Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house. riznight now i'm stizzay so excited to see everybody. JIZZAY: Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house. there so mizzuch crazy stizzle fo` us all ta catch up on gangsta style... J-TO-THA-IZZOHN cuz its a doggy dog world: i dizzle even know where ta start, it gang bangin'!

DAVE: dont strizness baller it DIZZY: Death row 187 4 life. we sizzy have S-to-tha-izzome time ta kill before shit starts ho-slappin' real 'n dis session DAVE: at lizzle accord'n ta our vriska 'n C-H-to-tha-izzief

JOHN: whizzat d-ya mean?

DAVE: all tha bad guys be still jizzy outsizzle tha incizzle D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: they wizzont convizzle here until a few hours or so DAVE: so lets all just sit back a while n shizzay tha shit DIZZAVE: Real niggas recognize the realness. n i do mean empty our clips into tha shizzit, L-to-tha-izzike really pizzle thizzle turd fiznull of lead DAVE: right up until shizne gets bossizzle again n commandea our flizny brotimes wit more shrill tactical exhortations

JOHN: ok, thizzle sounds bootylicious!

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