#wacky sweep

[clasp-stuff]

Wacky meets rewrite :3

[puppyeared]

Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..

[the-local-eldritch-microwave]

tell me why i completely forgot about the actual challenge and started drawing the actual king as my first sketch .. also happy sans-sweep anniversary

[platonic-pals-punchout]

Epithet Erased (webshow & lite novel) | Ace Attorney (video game series & anime)

[This poll was made by silly mistake on the part of the tournament runner, who misread the bracket. Sorry! It won't count towards the overall tournament. Followers have voted to make Gio/Molly PPP's mascots if they win tho!]

Giovanni Potage & Molly Blyndeff:

1. THEY’RE SO SILLYYYYYYY i love them. they’re such a prime example of friendship with an age gap in media, which, i think needs to happen a bit more. i have friends older than me! i have friends younger than me! and also they’re just. goofy. silly 2. Would any friendship bracket truly be complete without this dynamic duo? She’s a serious an disillusioned elementary school student, resigned to her miserable lot in life after years of neglect and doing her family’s taxes. He’s a wacky and optimistic teenager turned supervillain, here to sweep her away from her abusive family. Together, they commit CRIMES! 3. She is an anxious child who has the power to dumb down noises or impacts to help her deal with the literal everything in her life, as she has to balance school and her family’s toy store, especially as her father and sister seem to prioritize their own selves and not care about the family as a whole. Molly is like 11 or something and has to do her family’s taxes! He is a villainous mastermind!…well, he says he is. In actuality, Giovanni is a captain in the Bonzai Blasters, with ambitions of being promoted to Vice Principal…or even Associate Justice or Valedictorian! (Yes. This is how that system is organized) But unlike the rest, he prioritizes the wellbeing of his minions above all else. He’s comfortable with his masculinity, as he knits for his minions and packs them all some soup in case they get hungry. Oh! He also has the power of soup. He can make soup, make steam of soup, and every 13th physical hit from him deals critical damage (that has nothing to do with soup. It’s just what he does). After a heist gone wrong, these two meet, and Giovanni adopts Molly as one of his minions (giving her the minion name “Beartrap”, on account of her bear hoodie. She likes bears). Together, they thwart/do a heist and steal a valuable amulet. Giovanni also distances Molly from the Banzais when the cops show up, so she will not have to worry about legal troubles. Not spoiling much about the book (Prison of Plastic, go read it), but Giovanni continues to stand up for Molly against her family, who continues to write her off. He tries to get her sister to connect with her and soften up. He can’t do much with the dad because he sucks. Giovanni makes sure Molly knows how cool she is as a person and that she doesn’t let herself be walked all over by other people. He helps her stand up for herself, and in turn, she helps him with crime.

Maya Fey & Phoenix Wright:

1. Quite frankly I don’t think they will win. They are constantly being tormented and experiencing the horrors and this poll would be no different. 2. they literally cannot die no matter what hell canon puts them through. fall off that bridge n cliff to a deathly boy! get kidnapped like 4 times girl! when she gets kidnapped like the first time, they had to make a new sprite for Phoenix coz he didn’t look devasted and depressed enough. Power of friendship though! and she is OKI! :) 3. The most iconic attorney and assistant pair in the series. Phoenix canonically ran onto a burning bridge to try to save Maya when she was in danger. His call with her got cut off once and he left the country to go make sure she was safe. She’s been kidnapped twice to be used as leverage against him and both times she was more worried about him than herself. She once jumped in front of a taser to try to protect him. He’s also defended her from murder accusations like four times. Their relationship defines the original game trilogy even more than the Wright-Edgeworth relationship does. Other Ace Attorney games wish they could replicate this dynamic. They got added to a fighting game as a single unit where they work together to fight. They both think they’re the reasonable one in this friendship, despite neither of them actually deserving that title.

Note: This blog is run & followed by aromantics. Insisting any pairs are ~actually romantic~ will not only cause you to be blocked on the spot, but you’ll out yourself as someone not safe to be queer around. No one wants to hear how stupid you look with those shipping goggles on.

[jrjresq]

i fucking LOVE tumblr,,, the tastes here are so removed from the rest of the social mediaverse

the furry husbands tournament has august SWEEPING and i never heard of them prior to posting here its wacky

[lamb-of-seven]

Head-Canons for the Demon Brothers 2

Prompt: The Brother’s reaction to you dressed as a Cat Maid

!!Minors and Ageless Do Not Interact!!

Word Count: 3,127

Content Warning: Rather Suggestive.

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｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

You, our favorite MC have a knack for getting into some wacky and sometimes unfortunate situations with our favorite Demons in all of Devildom. You are always invited to play different games with them, You, Levi, Belphie, Beel, and Mammon tend to play video games together. You Satan, Asmo, and Mammon tend to play cards. And you and Lucifer will play a round of chess… with Mammon begging to play but being shut down. Our Avatar of Greed couldn’t help but always ruin the games with wanting to have every one place some bets with cold hard cash, and as always everyone refused. Until one day…

Mammon: "Ya Know what…” Everyone involved in their game of Poker looked at him. “We don’t have to bet with money. How ‘bout this, loser has to do whatever the winner says for a day.”

From that day on, everyone gathered together once a week, playing games and the person who lost the most had to do whatever the one who won the most, do something entirely of their choosing for a day. One week Mammon lost to Levi and had to clean his entire room. Another week Beel lost to Asmo and had to be his perfectly handsome butler for the day, while the disastrous week Levi lost to Belphi, Levi had to attend the next game night in his Ruri Cosplay. And so the new tradition was born. And after narrowly escaping last place for two months, you officially came in dead last and were ordered to dress up in a Maid Costume with Fluffy Cat Ears and a Tail.

Lucifer:

            ★The moment you entered the room, with your body dressed head to toe in a typical French Maid Costume, adorned with charming cat like features, a smirk graced his face. He didn’t once try to hide his amusement as he took his time gazing over ever inch of you.

            ★Though the costume was alluring, Lucifer is a busy man, and he will absolutely put you to work, to the point where you are starting to think that the bet was for you to be an actual maid. However, as you bend over slightly to dust away dirt from a hard to reach spot in his office, he sneaks a peak at the frilly matching underwear and gives your bottom a swift slap. Laughing as you jump and let out a small yelp, then walking away to continue his paperwork.

          ★Unlike some of his other brothers, he will make sure not to parade you around in front of others. He wanted this sight all to himself and knowing how desperate his brothers were to see you like this made his smirk grow wider.

            ★Throughout the day Lucifer will often make small comments like “I believe you missed that spot.”, “Ah, what am I going to do with you MC, you need to sweep this spot over again.”, “Mc, the bed sheets are uneven, fix them.” You could have cleaned perfectly, he just wanted to see you work harder or twist and bend in all different positions.

            ★Once his work is done, then cleaning is over. He will stay at his desk, his eyes darken and his smile becoming sly. “My my, you’ve been working hard haven’t you my maid. Come here, I believe I have a task for you that we can both enjoy.” From there he will have you on your knees under his desk pleasuring him until he needs more from you. “Remember MC, your mine for the entire day, and night.”

Mammon:

            ★The Avatar of Greed himself winning a gamble and getting you as his prize is practically a dream come true. The idea of a Cat Maid Outfit came to him after one of his brothers had to wear something similar. He just couldn’t get the thought of you in such an outfit, acting all cute and sexy for him, out of his head. The moment the day of your punishment started, he was up at the crack of dawn banging on your door and practically throwing the outfit at you. He will wait excitedly bouncing on his toes for the moment you step out of the room.

            ★When you look up at him, with embarrassed eyes and a blush he’s just ready to pounce on you right there, but he holds back, he’s got a long list of everything the two of you are going to do that day. He’s grabbing your silken glove covered hand and guiding you to his room. He askes you to first clean his room, and though he spends a lot of the time watching you work, just admiring the view, he can't help but sometimes join you in the cleaning, showing you where everything goes and ultimately putting half his stuff away.

            ★Now it’s time for him to show you off to everyone, and by everyone, he mean’s everyone. He wears such a cocky smile as he parades you around HoL in front of all his brothers, often making you sit on his lap, or meow for him or giving him little kisses on the cheek. He’s simply in pure bliss and often laughing to himself as his brothers look on with jealousy.

            ★Once the late night hits, he's bringing you out on the town and by that, to poker matches or illegal casinos. Despite your protest and further embarrassment to be seen in such a way, he just remarks, “Hey, who’s the winner here? Me, the Great Mammon! So you have to do everything I say for a full 24 hours, alright Kitten, no complainin.” And sadly you spend the next few hours hiding your face as best you can while Mammon props you up on his lap at ever poker game you visit. His hand constantly wrapped around your waist.

            ★The more time he spends with you, the more he wants. He brags to others about how he won you, and will start to sneak his hands and fingers towards more dangerous places. The more drinks he consumes and the more money he wins, the more restless he becomes, until soon enough he has you pushed up against a wall in some alley behind a casino, tongue pushing into your mouth and hands grabbing at every inch of you. Next thing you know your back at his place bent over and being told “Don’t you dare ever take this off. I'm about to show you why your mine!”

Leviathan:

            ★The jealous otaku having you all to himself in a cat maid costume! It just can’t be!

            ★When you first show up to his room, standing in the doorway with the cutest maid costume on and perky fuzzy ears and tail on, it just drives him crazy. The moment he sees those thigh highs pinching into your thighs, he becomes a blushing mess about to have a nose bleed.

            ★He is probably one of the few brothers that will not make you clean a thing. Instead, he’s going to take a few hours filled with stammering and stuttering and game playing before he is brave enough to ask for the first thing he wants. He wants a photoshoot. He want’s to pose you in so many ways and take million photos like as if you were doing a cosplay shoot at a convention. A first he will shyly ask for you to look like your dusting off his figures, then maybe making his bed, then maybe posing like a cute cat. After the first half an hour, his confidence begins to show. Now he’s physically posing you and putting himself into weird positions and adjusting lighting to get the most perfect pictures.

            ★Now that he is a bit braver, he will ask you to call him master. “Ok Master.” You say and his face is bright red again. Now he will start to make more request. “Could you play games with me?” “Of course Master.” “Would you feed me?” “Say Ah, Master” “Would you pat my head?” “Anything you want Master.” Now that he’s getting more of the hang of it, his demands start to become bolder. “C…could you k…kiss me?” “Where would you like me kiss you Master?” From there on the more perverted side of Levi comes out as he starting kissing you. All games and fears are abandoned as he has you pinned down on the floor, the maid costume rising up to reveal more of your thighs for him to kiss and lick.

            ★He will totally start roleplaying with you. “I know it’s forbidden for you, a maid ,and me ,your master, to have such relations, but I simply can not resist.” You are in for a long night. And once morning comes, he will absolutely be a scared blushing mess again.

Satan:

           ★Have you seen this Demon’s bedroom. He needs a maid. Have you seen his obsession? He want’s a cat. Put those two together and it’s the more alluring combination. He will come and fetch you from your room the day of your punishment. “MC, are you dressed and ready?” Once you appear and he glimpses at the adorable cat ears and tail, he will try to hide his blush, then smile. “How cute!”

            ★He will bring you to breakfast to show you off in front of his brothers to get a rise out of them, reminding them how you are all his for the rest of the day. And once you two take your leave after eating he will say, “We will be spending the rest of the day in my room, so don’t bother us.” He can’t help but give into a toothy grin as his brothers, especially Lucifer, try to protest.

            ★However once in his room, your put to work. His books need some serious dusting and organizing. However, your not doing it alone. Satan’s books are so precious to him so he’s helping you and making sure you don’t touch anything cursed. He will most likely want to clear up the space surrounding his bed first.

            ★You have been cleaning for hours, and as time passes Satan’s self control starts to slip. It starts with him saying stuff like “that’s a good kitty.” And “No, kitten, this goes over here.” And progresses to him often patting your head, rubbing the ears and tail, cooing at you like as if you’re really part cat.

           ★“Does my precious little kitty need a break?” He will ask, standing above you as your kneeling on the floor going through a pile of scattered books. Satan will help you up and settle you onto the sofa with him, where he has two cups of tea on a table. He will ask if you could read to him as he settles his head on your lap. As you read, you almost thought he fell asleep, but with ever pause he tells you to keep going. As you continue to read the novel he provided, you notice the themes of romance start to get heavy until you suddenly stop reading.

           ★“Go on Kitten, use your words.” He smirks, one hand rubbing you thigh, while the other reaches up to touch your lips. You stammer and blush as you start to read the graphicly intimate chapter. As the characters build up to their climax, Satan’s now on top of you undoing a few of his buttons. “Let’s make this a reality, shall we?”

Asmodeus:

            ★The literal Avatar of Lust. Need I say more?

            ★He will be totally gushing over how cute you look in all that frill and silk. He will make sure your hair and make up are on point, and have you as personal arm candy. Asmo has no intention of making you clean a single thing. He’s taking selfies with you and going on and on about how cute you look. At one point he will be matching you. Similar to Levi, the two of you are doing a couples photoshoot and he’s posting it all over Devilgram.

           ★After the photoshoot, he gets himself ready for a shopping trip, and you are coming with him as his personal maid. The blush could not be more obvious on your face. “Oh sweetie don’t be embarrassed, your so cute and sexy! You just have to come out with me like this!” Every time you walk into a store with Asmo he introduces you to everyone as his personal maid. And when he buys something, guess whose holding the bag, you.

            ★After a long day of being dragged from store to store he will ask you to join him for a bath back at home, where you can scrub every inch of his beautiful and delicate body. Though he would love for you to get naked and join him in the water, there was something so satisfying in seeing you as an obedient maid washing his skin.  

            ★The real fun comes when your relaxing back in his room. He will sneak his manicured fingers around your shoulder. “You know MC, I slipped a little special treat into that tea your drinking.” He giggles, his body pressing closer into you. “It’s a lovely aphrodisiac.” As your eyes widen and body starts to heat up, he moves his lips so close to yours that they are practically touching “Did you forget?” His breath hot on your lips. “I’m the beautiful Avatar of Lust.” And with that he embraces you in a passionate kiss.

Beelzebub:

            ★You were suppose to be a cute cat maid, and yet it seems you have been demoted to chef. The Demon with food occupying his mind 24/7 has kept you in the kitchen for hours now, making meal after meal for him. Beel has requested for you to cook up every human dish possible with the Devildom ingredients he has provided. The moment the dish is done, he scarfs it down in an instant and is asking for the next. You have to keep giving him simple snacks to hold him over while you cook.

            ★What you didn’t know is that watching you make food just for him didn’t just satisfy his appetite. To Beel food is everything, so watching his favorite person make him dishes with their own hands was special. To have you do it dressed as a cute cat maid made it all the more alluring and satiating, like he was at one of those maid café’s Levi has talked about.

            ★The fuller Beel’s stomach gets, the more he starts to notice things about you, things that make him feel a different kind of hungry. The way a bead of sweat drips down your chest, the way your cheeks are flushed, they way your thighs rub and your hips sway with each movement. It made his lower belly feel hot and other parts of him needy.

            ★“I think I might want dessert now.” Beel stated. You smiled and nodded happily. Dessert was a lot easier for you to make than large meals. Beel’s heart skipped a beat as he watched you skip off to the fridge. You started to pull out different ingredients like whipped cream, custard, pudding, and more. As you put the ingredients down you cant help but have a taste of some of the custard that spilled a little on your finger. This small action made Beel’s mind stop thinking. He impulsively grabbed your hand.

            ★“Oh, did you want to taste it Beel?” You ask. He just blinks, almost in surprise that he grabbed your hand in the first place, but didn’t stop. He bent forward and licked the rest off your finger. “More.” He says, then picks up the whipped cream, putting some on your hand, licking it up, the taste of cream on your skin making his member twitch with need. “More.” He says again, now pulling you practically on top of the counter as he pours more whipped cream over your bare shoulder, licking it up. Beel moans a bit to the taste.

            ★Beel lifts his head up, looking into your eyes. His gaze had darkened and he was starting to pant. “Not enough.” He states in a pant. “I need more.” Dessert became you on the counter top spread out for him while he kept pouring whipped cream over every inch of you and lapping it up with his tongue.

Belphegor :

            ★The lazy sleepy Demon is thrilled to have someone be his own little maid, and the cat features just add to the best part, humiliating you. It was so much fun for Belphie to see you blushing and flustered. All day he can boss you around and you can’t do anything about it.

            ★He will absolutely have you wash all of his bedding, pillows and clothing. He’s the avatar of Sloth, his favorite pass time is sleeping and on a good day, he is maybe able to do one load of laundry and that’s it. So to have you clean all his stuff while he lazes about was a dream come true. Even better since Lucifer couldn’t yell at him for shirking on his chores.

            ★Once You have all of his stuff clean he will snuggles up in his utopia of blankets and pillows ready for the best nap of his life. This is when Belphie starts to bark orders from his soft cocoon. “Hey Maid, tuck these blankets in more.” “Hey Maid, fluff these pillows.” “Hey Maid, get me a glass of water… no tea, make it both, and order me some of the best sushi Devildom has to offer!” He will be giggling to himself as he watches you frantically do every task he orders. He’s in such a good mood, it made it almost hard for him to sleep. Almost. Once he is asleep, you finally have a break to yourself.

           ★You didn’t even notice yourself drift into sleep while slumped back in the chair. “Slacking off are we.” Belphie’s cynical voice wakes you abruptly, your heart now racing in your chest. Belphie was looming over you and you stumble out of the chair. He laughs a little wickedly. “And here I thought I would treat you to something nice, like letting you use your thighs as a pillow for my slumber.” He grabbed your wrists. “But no, I’m fully awake now, and I’m going to make you work hard.” Belphie dragged you to his bed, throwing you onto it a little roughly. He started pulling off his clothes then laid down on the bed. “Hop on, and don’t you dare stop until I tell you to.”

[lolliepops-rox]

It's very interesting to me, as a newer Homestuck fan, to see all the extensions for the offical-unoffical archives that 'fix'/remove 'problems' or 'problematic' parts of Homestuck. I was on Tumblr when Homestuck was at its peak and reblogged all the cute ship art, follow the outrageous ask blogs, my best friend did read it as it was still coming out¹. But I never actually read the comic itself, just kind waves from the sidelines. But I wasn't there to experience the big controversies in real time (i.e. 'peachy'). Hussie is not above critique, but I don't think he's a bigot or even a bad person. What he is, is a troll. A classic 2006 'I said something fucked up not because I believed it, but to get a reaction.' Which, I can see to someone who missed that time of the internet, and only knows now. In which people say those fucked up things, to get a reaction and cause they believe it.

And so to see people younger than me, but have joined the fandom at the same time as me, not understand this context, it feels wrong. The things people are willing to sweep under the rug cause it conflicts with their morals vs the things they condemn and blame Hussie for.

Homestuck is a very long, very complicated, but very important piece of art. To not consider every facet of it does it a disservice.

For something made by a 2006 troll, it put a lot of queer characters worth caring about in it. The alpha kids & trolls both exist to be parodies of their beta counterparts. This is partly why Dirk is queer, and that Dirk refuses a label. But is still allowed to opening like, then date, then break up with a boy. It's a response to how the fandom wrote & treated Dave. For those who know it, compare the S19Ep6 of South Park, Tweek X Craig. Matt & Trey, who in my opinion embody the same sort of troll sense of humour Hussie has, handle fandom making their characters being gay quite differently. Tweek & Craig in this EP aren't treated as genuinely queer characters, but the kids trapped in what the town has decided are wacky hijinks of this week. It's not necessarily bad, but compared to Dirk it feels way less genuine.

There's topics I can't talk on fully like the way Hussie's racial biases appear in various characters, as I'm from a completely different country. But in my very non-american opinion, it reads more as 'someone who has never thought to question the stereotypes they were raised with', than as someone who is genuinely and actively racist. There is a difference, and as a mixed kid that's important to me.

I'm not really sure how physically disabled people feel about the way Hussie wrote their physically disabled characters (but if people have written about this I'd love to read and linked to me) but he definitely uses mental disabilities/illnesses as a substitute for the word 'quirky' without thinking much about it (i.e. Nepeta is off-handedly called autistic) it's not really great, but the bar is so low when it comes to these things that my tourettic ass cling to Mituna like a lifeline.

Maybe I had a further point here. Maybe my point was just antis in the Homestuck fandom is still weird to me when there's canon incest. Maybe I've drunk a fair bit of vodka while writing this. I have work in the morning. Good night beloved tumblrinas.

¹she gave me classpect and everything, and it's the one I use to this day, despite having a completely different theory on how classpects work. I also joined a cosplay ask blog despite never reading Homestuck (at the time) cos she asked me to (simp) and bought black lipstick to do AMom.

[b-skarsgard]

–How involved were you with casting, and what led to Bill Skarsgård getting the lead?

FITZJOHN: We were completely hands-on on all things, including casting. The usual suspects were thrown around by the sales agent saying, “We need to look at…” I won’t mention any names, but we did talk to some of the big A-league boys. I think it was Roy Lee who suggested, “What about Bill Skarsgård?” and when we first heard that, to be honest, that didn’t really strike us. You know, he’s not exactly a boy, he’s 6-foot-4–a pretty significant man. And then the irony of that was it got us talking about, “This kind of reminds me of that story about the baby elephant that’s tied to the stake and pulls and pulls and pulls and can’t get away. And then by the time it’s a big bull elephant, it doesn’t even try to pull the stake, which it could probably do in no time.” And that’s essentially Boy’s story, the way he’s been so programmed by Shaman. He should be the champion, but he cedes the king role to Shaman, who’s about half his size by the time he’s grown up. So it just felt right.

SWART: When we spoke to Bill, he was so excited about playing a true action role. He’s a massive martial arts fan, and so capable. He was like, “Yeah, I want to do the training, and as many of my own stunts as you guys will let me.” We said, “Well, that’s great, Bill, but remember, your character has no lines, you have no dialogue.” And he said, “Yeah, that’s what really gets me about this role.” He studied the old Charlie Chaplin silent movies; he not only prepared his body and learned the martial arts part, but if you look at the range of emotion on his face, there are some little homages to classic Chaplin as well.

The rest of the ensemble was very much the same, finding the right people to bring these wacky characters to life. When we interviewed the actors, as well as our heads of department, we told them, “Wave your crazy flag! However you bring these characters to life, just lean into your creative inspiration.”

FITZJOHN: Getting back to Bill, if you see what he does under all the prosthetics in IT, you still know what he’s thinking and feeling. He’s one of a kind, and if Hollywood hasn’t recognized that he’s a big star yet, I believe they’re going to after this movie.

What went into getting Skarsgård in shape and choreographing his fight scenes?

FITZJOHN: That was a pretty significant task. Our stunt coordinator, Dawid Szatarski, is incredible in terms of how he thinks. He thinks in movement. Dawid basically invented a fighting style for Bill, given his lankiness; he wanted him to move with big sweeping motions, and they spent quite a bit of time in Berlin doing the training. We also hired a really good fitness/strength coach, a nutritionist, who basically lived with Bill for about nine months getting him ready. I didn’t stay too far from Bill during production, and I would watch him do a 12-hour shoot and then go and do a two-hour calisthenics workout on the roof. I mean, the guy would work out during lunch breaks. He never stopped; I’d never seen anything like that commitment. He became Boy.

SWART: Dawid was also our 2nd unit director. I think he has three or four credits on the movie; he actually has a great cameo as VDK Dawe, the one soldier who just won’t go down. Bill’s relationship with Dawid was very special, and there were times when Dawid would go to Bill saying, “So, do you think you can do this stunt?” and Bill would go, “Of course I can do this stunt,” and we were like, “No, you can’t do this stunt!” There were many moments when I would have to tell Bill, “No, no, you’ve got to use a double for this, because if you twist your ankle or something at this stage of the shoot…” But Bill was up for anything; he was like, “Well, then don’t challenge me,” you know? “Don’t dare me.” And we were like, “We’re not daring you!”

FITZJOHN: If we’re honest, Bill did the bulk of it; it’s not a battle we won in the end. Outside of the stupid, crazy stuff, like when we were throwing Boy down from a double-story balcony, he pretty much did everything.

I’ve heard that Skarsgård originally did Boy’s voiceovers himself, before H. Jon Benjamin came in and took over. Can you talk about the reasons and that process?

FITZJOHN: It was always going to be H. Jon Benjamin. I mean, Moritz called it at the same time, when we were casting. The short had this Marlboro Man voiceover that just doesn’t match with Boy. And even with Bill’s versatility, we needed to explore something like that. He did an amazing job, but the audiences wanted the almost bipolar nature of it.

SWART: It’s the absurdity of his inner voice, right? So in the short it’s the Marlboro Man, and Boy gets his voice from an old cigarette commercial. For the feature, we recorded Bill, which did give us a great connection to his character, but we found that we lost the absurdity of where his inner voice comes from. It took something away from the physical performance and the storytelling.

FITZJOHN: And also, given the nature of the story, the humor of H. Jon Benjamin gives us a reprieve, in a good way, from a pretty dark, dramatic and violent story.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hiiii!!! I love your recs especially your historical romance stuff but I was wondering if you had any dark romances recs?? Like contemporary? I want to read some more darker stuff but the stuff booktok is on is mediocre at best.

Yes! Not as many as I'd like, tbh, but that's because a) time management issues b) me being excessively picky. Unfortunately, the flooding of the dark romance market means that a lot of them... are not good. Mediocre at best, as you say.

Soooo I would recommend Sierra Simone. Not just because she's one of my favorites, but because, if you're looking for something on the darker end but not like, "WELCOME TO MY TWISTED MIND" shit... Yeah. Would recommend her.

Her darkest series is her Thornchapel books, which does have some mysticism and magic to it, but not enough for me to properly call it paranormal (though I do sometimes). It's like gothic-toned. And it has one thing that even a lot of dark romances I read don't do. An extreme taboo, shall we say.

Basically, the plot (it's 4 books, all must be read in order) is that six childhood friends come back together as adults, with various issues with each other, etc. They find out about these bacchanalian rituals their parents used to do (think... orgies lol) and decide to take part on a lark, which opens some really fucked up, insane shit. There are two main relationships, one of which is MMF and one of which is FF. It's very kinky (think BDSM, free use, again a lot of group sex). It's very intense. Everyone does have sex with each other at some point lol.

If you want NO magic, her Lyonesse series is billed as dark romance, and while there is darker stuff out there, it's still dark. It's a retelling of the Tristan and Isolde myth, MMF, kinky. Basically: a banking heiress who wants to be a nun and enjoys killing people (for God) is betrothed to a powerful, cold kink club owner/former CIA killer man as a power trade. (This is contemporary, though.) Shit happens, and during their engagement (during which they're living in separate countries) he also begins a relationship with his sad-eyed 'd, beautiful bodyguard. Said bodyguard is heartbroken when he finds out Mr. Boss is engaged, and is sent to fetch her... and they begin something too. And also there are secrets. And murder. Some torture. Loooots of sadomasochism. Moral gray-to-charcoal behavior. One of my favorite endings in recent memory. Lots of mindfuckery.

It's GREAT. start with the prequel novella, Salt in the Wound, and go from there (must be read in order). I would also recommend reading her New Camelot trilogy first, which... Like, less murder happens? I guess? It's more political. But I still consider it on the darker end, tbh. There's kidnapping, there's war, there's betrayal, there's that taboo shit again, there's fucking while one of you has open, poorly patched bullet wounds and the blood is slicking between your bodies... Basically, this one of my holy grail series and I think it's perfect. MMF, very kinky, hot hot hot, cry cry cry, based on Arthurian legend.

King's Captive by Amber Bardan is BONKERS and a great dark romance (I need to read more by her, but again, time management problems). The heroine's father is killed by the hero in the beginning, and the hero sweeps her off to his private island. Flash to years later, and she's been there the whole time. And he hasn't touched her (not really). But things are boiling.... Very twisty-turny, and again, WILD. There's some good, weird shit in here.

On the mafia end, I'd recommend Mila Finelli's Kings of Italy (Italian mafia) which is super hot and has some good kink. On the "violence is all around us" kidnapping/biiiig age gap (no underage shit, but think 18 and 38) end. Mafia Madman is my favorite (and the darkest—he keeps her in a cage lol), but I'd recommend reading them in order. Kresley Cole's Game Maker series is a bit darker, Russian mafia, has a lot of murder, kidnapping, some wacky shit. Really well-done, especially the latter two books.

Run, Posy Run by Cate C. Well is a good Italian-American mafia romance, definitely darker, in which the heroine's boyfriend (who's like... kind of emotionless lol) finds out she was cheating on him. Except she wasn't. She goes on the run, he chases her, there's a lot of threatening shit, etc. It's great.

If you want to read some legit fucked up shit that's more on the erotica end of the spectrum (though there is still a pretty amazing central romance) then Tiffany Reisz's Original Sinners series is right there. This has some MESSED. UP. SHIT. Dubcon, noncon, underage activity, seriously risky kink (bloodplay, cutting, choking with a belt and with hands, lots of pain play—our main "hero" is a Catholic priest who can't get it up without inflicting pain, even though he doesn't want to like... legit hurt the heroine). Femdom, pegging, group sex, free use... you'll find it all here.

Not all of this series ages well. I don't love the underage stuff. I really don't love the way the author handles POC (there's like... one main character of color from what I remember, and she's basically a white guy's love interest, and she's great in theory, but boy do I dislike a lot of the way Reisz talks about her on the page). But it is fascinating in many aspects, and I do love the main three characters.

Catch: if you want it to have an HEA, just stop on book 8.... She revived the series after years with book 9. It sucks. It leaves you on a sort of open situation with no sign of when the next book will come out, and I'm not sure how that'll all... end up. It's really not good.

BUT the original series is over, and if you stop there the ending is great. And that's the only ending I acknowledge.

[butterfliesresponse]

Breathing some new life into this old account with my five nights at freddy's obsession dragging me back in. and also my love for securitywaiter/dreamtheory because oh how i love crackships turned serious <33.

Hey guys, I'm lemonade and I don't wanna say that I'm new to tumblr, I just haven't posted in awhile plus switched fandoms a lot 😭.

But for the people just stumbling into my blog, hiiii *flutters eyelashes cutely*

I'm a fanfic writer and roleplayer when I have the time (i have way too much time these days omg) I'm 18 and going to college to get my degree in Creative Writing >:P

You can find me on ao3 as bonjourdotjpeg but I don't really have much due to going through a clean sweep of everything other than a Welcome Home fanfiction 💀.

but stay tuned for my wacky writing and fun postings 😍😍😍😋😋😋

[masterwords]

In this fandom, like in all of them I guess, things are cyclical. Spend enough time hanging around and you'll see topics that make the rounds again and again. Lately I've seen a fresh crop of disbelief surrounding CM character backstory.

As a writer, one of my favorite things is how outlandish CM is. Every character has this huge sweeping history/resume that is completely impossible yet so much fun to dig around in. It's messy and no matter how you try, you can't make it make real world sense. But it doesn't have to! Instead, I implore you to embrace the wacky impossible resumes and timelines. Have fun with the fantasy of the unbelievable. I personally think it's more fun to ask why than how. Why did Morgan go to law school and then decide to be a cop? Why did Hotch go from Federal Prosecutor to FBI? What did Haley think about that choice? What did Morgan do undercover for 18 months? Does he have any CIs out there? Does he have people who still recognize him as someone else? The answers to those questions are a lot more fun to explore than how, because the pursuit of how is likely to drive you bonkers.

[bloody-wonder]

starting new series (part two)

oops looks like i started ten more new series so here's another super long bookish post🫢

the series that was so good i'm prioritizing it this year is her instruments by mca hogarth (book one: earthrise). set in the same universe as my beloved cozy sci fi about an interspecies qpp, the dreamhealers, earthrise is a story about a down on her luck captain of a trading spaceship who gets roped into Wacky Hijinks after rescuing a space elf nobleman from space pirates. reese eddings has major stressed millenial going through the quarter life crisis energy so i related to her big time. her crew includes: a lion skunk centauroid, a giant bird that communicates in two word phrases and a pair of horny cat twins. yes, that vintage space opera cover doesn't want you to know it's actually a furry book lol. however, it's not about getting sexy with furries - it's about getting unsexy with space elves. speaking of whomst.

hirianthial is a tall blonde aristocratic space elf doctor and you can't touch him bc that would be too hot and inappropriate (and also he'll read your mind). reese hates him on sight bc he's a beautiful fairytale prince and she's a messy 30+yo who may or may not have been drowning her sorrows in binging space elf romance novels by the dozen. major "how dare you come to me now when i am this" scene from the last unicorn vibes. wouldn't it be embarrassing if reese's ulcer burst from anxiety and bad eating habits while they're being chased by the pirates and mr perfect had to operate on her esophagus? what a unique meet cute would that be!

lol to sum it up: i ship it, the furry crew ships it, reese is kicking and screaming refusing to accept that she's the heroine in a romance book, hirianthial manages to maintain his space elf mystique and keep calling her "lady" despite the fact that she's being a horrible little gremlin towards him and taking out all her issues on this poor man. the pacing of the romance is extremely slow, just the way i like it. one could even say this first book doesn't at all contain what an average romance reader would call "romance" - it's more about hirianthial becoming part of the crew during their various misadventures and reese learning to accept that fact. and about the horrors of meeting a very hot guy who is able to know all your deepest insecurities just from touching you. i can't blame reese, i would be cranky too😅

☝️that's me throwing away whatever you were planning to read next and bringing her instruments to your attention

series i'm going to continue next year (or whenever somebody finds time to finish writing his series):

a targaryen history by george rr martin (book one: fire & blood). as you might know, asoiaf is my favorite fantasy series of all time but i was hesitant to read this prequel lore book bc i was afraid i wouldn't like grrm's writing as much now that i've become much more well-read in fantasy and, more importantly, bc i didn't like the first season of hotd. luckily it turns out my appreciation for grrm's writing and worldbuilding is as strong as ever and maaan i just love the targaryens. i just think they're neat. they just want to marry brother to sister, you know🙂 i surprised myself by how much i enjoyed the history book format of fire & blood with its successive generations of kings and queens, multiple unreliable narrators and versions of events, trying to make sense of long gone triumphs and tragedies in hindsight. which i think is also the reason i didn't vibe with the show - it takes away this sweeping epic scope of the book, the weight of the centuries, the unrelenting pendulum of time, with individual fates nothing but blades of grass ground under the wheels of history etc etc and doesn't, in my opinion, manage to compensate for it by fleshing out the protagonists of the dance of the dragons enough for me to be able to get invested in their personal stories. i hope i'll like the second season more but i'm gonna keep my expectations low for now. i mean, it doesn't even have mushroom🍄‍🟫

the neapolitan novels by elena ferrante (book one: my brilliant friend). didn't expect to like this one so much either. most of it is good but not great - a very truthful depiction of girlhood and adolescent female friendships with their camaraderies and rivalries, a good exploration of struggling to access education as a way out of poverty, an atmospheric setting in the 50s naples - but then near the end there's a chapter where the author manages to encapsulate the characters' journeys and throw into relief the themes of the book so masterfully in so few words, using such simple yet impactful visual metaphors, i literally froze while listening to it in the audiobook and then paused whatever i was doing to sit down and reread it with my own eyes. i'm not a prose girlie so i'm rarely so impressed by an isolated piece of writing (the last time it happened was the epilogue of assassin's apprentice, as far as i remember). anyways, i obviously can't discuss it further bc of spoilers but to put it briefly ferrante succeeded in getting to the core of that special bond you shared with your teenage best friend and somehow managed to distill the essence of girlhood friendships into one single scene. chapter 57: if you know - you know🫠

the alexander trilogy by mary renault (book one: fire from heaven). when i finished the lymond chronicles several people recced mary renault's books to me bc they're also queer historical novels written around the same time (so 60-70s) - but having read the charioteer and now this first alexander book i conclude that those are their only similarities. dunnett's writing style couldn't be more different from renault's and, to be completely honest, i find the latter one extremely boring. madeline miller is actually a much better comp for renault (including the questionable depiction of female characters), except the song of achilles could at least be more explicit about the queer love story. not that i'm measuring the quality of these books by how smutty they are - in fact, the only thing i liked in fire from heaven was how renault managed to write around the scenes of gay sex while also making sure we know what's happening. anyways, normally i would just dnf a series where i was so unimpressed with the first book but as far as i understand the persian boy is really the main course here so i'll read that and then, who am i kidding, i will also read the last book in the trilogy bc of completionism. and tbh i'm not yet ready to let go of the image of myself as an elegant dark academia girlie reading classy mary renault books about ancient greece🧐

series i'm maybe going to continue sometime in the future:

london calling by alexis hall (book one: boyfriend material). enjoyed this first book much more than i expected, given that cartoon cover contemporary romance is very much out of my comfort zone and fake dating is one of my most disliked tropes. ig i just like the british humor of it all and that it really felt like those old nostalgic romcoms hall says he was inspired by. i would've liked to see oliver grapple more with how his parents fucked him up but maybe this is explored more in the sequel? which i'm hesitant to read bc it has an abysmal average rating on goodreads😬 i mean it could mean anything: maybe people are correct in that this story didn't need a sequel or maybe we're just unused to there being more to love stories after the characters get together, including more problems. alexis hall is a total discovery for me this year, i think i trust him to make it good, esp given that there really aren't any queer romance series like this out there, focused on a couple going through all the conventional stages of a relationship (dating, marriage, parenthood). but on the other hand i'd really like to hear an opinion from someone i know. so: did any of you read husband material? did you hate it too?👀

chrestomanci by diana wynne jones (book one: charmed life). this was just fine. i like wynne jones' writing and humor but i think this is the kind of book you should've read as a kid. as an adult i can't connect to its themes and characters anymore but what i can do with my adult brain is discern fatphobia🫤 seriously, this is the third time i see fatphobia in wynne jones' books - just small things that upset me and take me out of the story. wtf mam. anyways, i didn't think this book had anything interesting to offer, compared to howl's moving castle with its iconic characters or fire and hemlock with its wtf did i just read, so i was ready to dnf this series but then just the other day i saw a tumblr poll of people voting for their favorite chrestomanci book and the lives of christopher chant won in a landslide. so ig i'll read that just to be sure and then probably move on to the dalemark quartet or smth. i have an inkling i'd like a chrestomanci book focused on a different (cooler) protag more but i'm not going to prioritize it.

the tarot sequence by kd edwards (book one: the last sun). okay this one is a big maybe. like i mentioned before, i just don't like urban fantasy but i decided to try this series nevertheless bc it's so popular on queer booklr and i like to be in the know. and indeed the only thing i'm mildly intrigued by is the slowburn bodyguard romance - so slow in fact that the main guy has a completely different love interest in the first book. will i suffer through chapters upon chapters of boring urban fantasy politics just for the sake of this romance tho? not any time soon.

series i'm not going to continue:

the saint of steel by t kingfisher (book one: paladin's grace). i'm starting to suspect t kingfisher is not our blessed niche tumblr fantasy but in fact their barbarous mainstream award winning fantasy. what in the name of heterosexual lucifer was this?? lol i mean it's not a bad book or anything, ig i just didn't vibe with the religious aspect of the worldbuilding and, more importantly, the romance here is the textbook example of what i dislike in this genre: just two people being horny for each other from the moment they meet. i mean ik this is what it's like for allosexuals irl but when i see this in a book it just seems like lazy writing. the book opens with the most ridiculous meet cute ever (suffice it to say, nobody's esophagus was even involved) and if i were a normal person i would've dnfed right then and there but i forced myself to trudge through pages and pages of these two repressed middle aged people lusting after each other in cursive. which i understand is very relatable content for some readers but ig i could confirm yet again that hetero women's fantasies are not my fantasies. i finally finished it yesterday and picked up her intruments book two right away as a palate cleanser bc, as me and my book bestie like to joke, i don't want any romance in my romance lol. i was somewhat underwhelmed by thornhedge last year so i'm not really interested in kingfisher's novellas either. ig i could try other books from the white rat universe, the ones not focused on horny paladins, but maybe i shoud just accept that this author is not for me🤷‍♀️

the adventures of amina al-sirafi by shannon chakraborty. the city of brass was one of the most disappointing books i read last year but i wanted to give this author another try bc on paper her newest book seemed like the most up my alley story ever: potc are my favorite movies of all time, i completely support the middle aged woman protag agenda and if there is a thing i liked about chakraborty's writing it's that she's not afraid of setting her stories in the real historical periods of our own world and doing the research accordingly instead of just being "inspired" by foreign cultures and time periods. so i was very determined to like this book but unfortunately it didn't work out. you see, in a good fantasy adventure novel characters, plot and worlbuilding work in unison to tell a cohesive story - here on the other hand these three elements felt separate from each other. the characters seemed more like those tumblr posts showing little oc arts and listing their character traits under them than full-fledged dynamic fictional people with a function in the story. their motivation to go on an adventure and to move the plot forward, as it were, never seemed personal and important enough for me to be invested in their success. instead of serving the plot, the worldbuilding and the lore chakraborty researched and constructed so painstakingly derailed the story more often than not. as a result, halfway through the book i'm still waiting for the author to make me care about this team of misfits and the random girl they're searching but instead i'm hit over the head with the bird people island. sigh. but the biggest disappointment was ofc the demon husband😑 you can do so many sexy things with a problematic demon husband but ig chakraborty just has a unique talent for coming up with sexy ideas and bad boy love interests and then making them completely unsexy in her books. well ig i successfully confirmed this author is not for me and i won't try any of her books anymore.

the scholomance by naomi novik (book one: a deadly education). this book was released right around the time i started watching booktube so i vividly remember the controversy surrounding it. at first everybody seemed to hate it but later, when the sequels came out, there was a new wave of readers who liked the series a lot. i'm a big fan of spinning silver and uprooted (not to mention novik's work in otw) and i'm not immune to gritty magic schools by any means so i decided to give it a go. sadly, this turned out to be another dud. i have a sneaking suspicion this story was a much better piece of fiction in its past life as a drarry fanfic, before novik frankensteined it into a perfunctorily diverse, heteronormative, commercialized ya version of hp. i couldn't appreciate the worldbuilding bc it was delivered through a series of the most aggressive exposition dumps ever so the concept of this edgy school that wants to kill you just seemed silly to me. the romance was meh and the fact that i recently read in other lands that does a similar pseudo-hero/pseudo-villain dynamic much better didn't do it any favors either. i liked the abrasive personality of the main character but not so much as to force myself to continue this series in case it gets better. i'll start reading novik's dragon books instead.

2024 reading updates | goodreads

[platonic-pals-punchout]

Round 1 part 1: Nimona (movie & graphic novel) / Epithet Erased (webshow & lite novel)

Ballister Boldheart & Nimona:

They've been through a lot together, despite only knowing each other for a few days. Plus they are both badass.

Giovanni Potage & Molly Blyndeff:

1. THEY'RE SO SILLYYYYYYY i love them. they're such a prime example of friendship with an age gap in media, which, i think needs to happen a bit more. i have friends older than me! i have friends younger than me! and also they're just. goofy. silly 2. Would any friendship bracket truly be complete without this dynamic duo? She's a serious an disillusioned elementary school student, resigned to her miserable lot in life after years of neglect and doing her family's taxes. He's a wacky and optimistic teenager turned supervillain, here to sweep her away from her abusive family. Together, they commit CRIMES! 3. She is an anxious child who has the power to dumb down noises or impacts to help her deal with the literal everything in her life, as she has to balance school and her family's toy store, especially as her father and sister seem to prioritize their own selves and not care about the family as a whole. Molly is like 11 or something and has to do her family's taxes! He is a villainous mastermind!...well, he says he is. In actuality, Giovanni is a captain in the Bonzai Blasters, with ambitions of being promoted to Vice Principal...or even Associate Justice or Valedictorian! (Yes. This is how that system is organized) But unlike the rest, he prioritizes the wellbeing of his minions above all else. He's comfortable with his masculinity, as he knits for his minions and packs them all some soup in case they get hungry. Oh! He also has the power of soup. He can make soup, make steam of soup, and every 13th physical hit from him deals critical damage (that has nothing to do with soup. It's just what he does). After a heist gone wrong, these two meet, and Giovanni adopts Molly as one of his minions (giving her the minion name "Beartrap", on account of her bear hoodie. She likes bears). Together, they thwart/do a heist and steal a valuable amulet. Giovanni also distances Molly from the Banzais when the cops show up, so she will not have to worry about legal troubles. Not spoiling much about the book (Prison of Plastic, go read it), but Giovanni continues to stand up for Molly against her family, who continues to write her off. He tries to get her sister to connect with her and soften up. He can't do much with the dad because he sucks. Giovanni makes sure Molly knows how cool she is as a person and that she doesn't let herself be walked all over by other people. He helps her stand up for herself, and in turn, she helps him with crime.

[jakeowen]

anyway. someday i’ll write a tv show about a 30something single butch in a small town taking in her wacky sister’s troubled teenage son and staking her entire self-worth on her ability to fix him and only the most annoying of viewers will be raising their hand saying “hello??? isn’t this just seasons 2-4 of gilmore girls but without the gilmore girls???” and they’ll be right of course but who cares because MEYE show is about a butch lesbian and as a 30-minute drama streaming on hulu, it fucking SWEEPS the comedy categories. the only question that remains is does fortune feimster have the chops

[lewisrises]

who is your favourite driver? lewis

do you have any other favourite drivers? kevin and charles

who is your least favourite driver? everyone else

do you root for drivers or do you root for the team as well? i only root for lewis. where he goes i go.

if you like the teams, what team do you root for? if haas renew kevin i genuinely would become their #1 fan

how long have you been into f1? since lewis was doing back to back title sweeps…

what got you into f1? cars the movie. unironically one of my favourite movies. i was rewatching it one day like this fucks… i need the real life version, searched up “racing series lewis hamilton is in” bc he was the only racecar guy i knew loool and i saw he was still driving (idky i expected him to be retired #hag) for merc instead of mclaren, in f1. so i got on my zoom and started properly watching it. for him.

do you enjoy fanfic/rpf? to enjoy it i’d have to enjoy the drivers and that’s where you lose me….

how do you view new fans? if you willingly become a fan with the state the sport is in rn it must be bc you view things through a “fun” lens (ie ships, wacky narratives) which, good for you. but just know that you are actually delusional and nothing you say will ever hold value to me. personally

if you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why? haas. for kevin.

are your friends and family into f1? yes, too many to count… unfortunately f1 is more common than we think.

are you open to talking to other fans/friends? if our views align then ofc. we are already like this 🤞 in my eyes

tagged by @boldlettered thank you baeloved

i’m tagging @lespleen-deparis @cazzadores @monacoprince @userhamilton & @killa-trav

[moosha-mushroom]

malevolent 80’s au— where my sanity hangs by a goddamn thread (Season 3/4 ramble)

Arthur finds a book in the Cummings house and learns about ‘spots’ in the city where a God’s power is strongest, including most of the entrances to the other realms.

The way to breach the Dark World is through a doorway in caves underneath the city. The entrance is protected by the Larson family.

Wallace had been on Roland’s case about ‘poking into matters that weren’t his business’ and is kind of a guardian for all gods, believing them all to be equal. He is told of Arthur and attempts to keep him in the Larson estate.

Arthur escapes and heads into the caves.

Alongside this, Parker and John bond in the Dark World and keep each other from forgetting their pasts… though they end up getting separated for an indeterminate amount of time and Parker forgets who he is.

Arthur opens a gate to the Dark World, reunites with John, and they find Parker all fucked up. They both talk about their problems as a way to jog his memory, and they both might cry idk. Then they leave and are free to go.

The trio learn of Larson’s connection to a collection of cults and his sacrificing of his children and wife. Arthur vows to kill the man, though a sweep of the house turns out he left.

They find out he’s heading to New York.

In New York, Larson works along the Order of the Blood Sigil, which worship the party-loving yet all powerful Kayne. Kayne offers Larson a ‘guard dog’ in the form of Butcher, who hunts down Parker and Arthur.

Arthur learns that a ‘spot’ is in New York— a giant shopping mall belonging to Kayne. He thinks Larson may be there, before they are ambushed in the train they are on. Wacky escape method here.

They rent from Marie, and Parker decides to head to the library while Arthur naps.

Parker meets Oscar (who’s a Catholic librarian, not a priest in this) and Arthur meets Mr. Scratch. Though it turns out that Scratch is only interested in tormenting Arthur, not being set free, as it has a suitable host already.

Parker lets spill that he’s renting from Marie, and Oscar tells him that he’s found Hattie, who had been missing until recently. Parker returns Hattie home to Marie, with Oscar by his side.

Arthur recognizes Oscar as the man alongside Scratch, who watched the events of his nightmare unfold alongside the entity. Unfortunately Oscar does not know him.

Arthur figures out its a similar situation to him and John, so they go to a spot to try and split Scratch and Oscar apart, whose grip on one another is weaker and more voluntary.

Scary bugs in the walls, but Oscar is okay. The ritual does not go off without a hitch, as Oscar loses his hearing from Scratch’s scream.

They go to a hospital to treat his wounds, only to rerun into the Butcher. Luckily, Charlie spotted Arthur and followed him, saving him from Collins.

Charlie, or Noel, wishes to help the trio, and they say goodbye to Oscar, reluctantly. A bit of jealousy ensues between Parker and Charlie, but nothing too crazy.

Charlie tells them about the cult, and a sort of password they need, so Parker and Arthur do reconnaissance.

Charlie talks with the Butcher and learns about the man’s debt to Kayne, after the being took pity on him during a hunt where he REALLY underestimated his prey. (Earlier years and all)

They bond over scars(scars inflicted by gods in this AU become tattoos. Kayne’s tattoos: hearts, blood, roses, fruit. KiY’s tattoos: yellow flowers, teeth, bones, tentacles, cartoon stitches. Scratch’s tattoos: eyes, bubbles, clouds, sparkles, random patterns)

The trio reports back to Charlie and Collins, and they arrive at the order meeting. They are having a special presentation of the Graystone, and it’s the best time to infiltrate.

But Larson weeds them out. He has a grand plan to remove John from Arthur AGAIN and return the King to his former glory. But obviously that doesn’t work.

Everyone survives the battle, if not for a few awful wounds. Parker loses a hand, for example.

Kayne watches them leave, uninterested in stopping them, since there is no such thing as BAD chaos. While he plots some more fun he intends to have with them, Kayne arrives and slaughters the living bejeezus outta him.