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umichenginabroad · 3 months

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Kayak voyages and el Rio Misterioso...

Week 6

It's come to my attention that more people than I thought read my blog posts, so here's to all of my adoring fans who've been here since the early weeks! If you're new, I gotta say that these are definitely a treat (but of course I'm a bit biased). This post might be shorter than my other ones since it was a pretty relaxed week with not too much going on. However, read till the end! Treat it as waiting for the post-credits at the movies, I might have a hint about where I'm going this weekend...

Pirates of the San Sebastián Bay

I'm going to skip past Monday and Tuesday to just jump right into the rest of the week since those were mainly more days of research. Due to Tecnun having a university holiday on Wednesday, we were able to have that day off! It was super nice out so we decided to seize the day (most of the day after napping for maybe half of it) to embark on a kayak excursion. With the luck from a shilling and 5 euro note I found on the ground, I had high hopes that we would have the blessing of the sea on our side. The rental wasn't that expensive at all, especially for a two-person kayak and roughly 2 hour time slot. We originally planned to set sail for the island itself, but decided that we wanted to aim for an even bigger goal of going around the island. Everything was going smoothly until we reached the mouth of the bay, since this area featured a lot of unexpected rocky patches. As newly appointed seafarers, Jayashree and I wouldn't let this be our end. We successfully entered the choppy waters and were officially now out in open water! At this point, we should've been cast alongside Captain Jack Sparrow because we would make phenomenal pirates. Seeing the back of the island was really neat along with feeling how different it is being the only boat on the water. We ended up having a really good time and 100% would do it again!

Land Ho!

Afterwards we stopped by an icecream stand to reward ourselves on our journey, where I found a rather interesting choice to say the least. It was called a Frigo Pie, or Refrigerator Foot, and it was actually shaped... just like a foot. If I had to rate it overall, I would say a 6/10 for taste and 9/10 for presentation. What better way to cool off on a hot day, right?

It was a bit smaller than expected. I think to improve their product they should make it somewhere around a size 7-8 in US shoe sizes. More bang for your buck you know.

Photo Ops and Friendly Competitions

On Thursday, the night had a lot in store for us. To start, Jayashree, Izzy, Deidra, and I had the amazing idea to recreate some classic JCPenney-esque family photos. I don't really know how else to explain them besides just showing the results, so take a look below at the outcome and I'll do my very best to explain our vision:

We were attempting to create a square with all our hands. We almost got there but it resembles more of a rhombus.

Izzy may or may not have dropped me before taking this picture for the second time.

A big thank you to Diego for being our photographer! Later on, some of us had bought tickets to go to the local club, Bataplán, to get the experience of going out in Spain. To sum it up, we had a great time! We did some rounds of arm wrestling where Jayashree was the reigning champion, and enjoyed listening to all the spanish reggaeton music (there were also some english songs and also a random Can-Can remix).

A quick showcase!

Lately whenever I'm not at work doing research or something with my friends, I've been spending time getting back into drawing. It's always been something that I love to put time into and see how much I've improved over the years. At one point I considered going to school for storyboard animation, but I figured that I like art more as a hobby anyways :). I don't usually do architecture drawings, but I wanted to do a challenge for myself and also sketch it only in pen to up the stakes. Take a look and leave a review in the comments!

This street is from a picture I took when I was just walking around San Sebastián one day.

The Big Finale of the Week: Amusement Park!

On our very first day here, we were taken to Monte Igueldo for a lunch and the best view of the city. We decided to go back on Sunday since there's an amusement park at the top (meant for little kids but I mean we had to check it out). After disembarking from the cable car and reminiscing about the time we've spent here so far, we took a lap around to see what we wanted to do. Almost instantly, we locked eyes with a sign that read: Rio Misterioso. Intrigued, we saw that it was a little boat ride and immediately knew that this should be saved as the best for last. From there, our first stop was the rollercoaster, and boy was it actually more of a thrill than we thought it would be. Not on the same level as Cedar Point, but there were some worthy drops that gave a decent adrenaline rush. We decided to split up briefly, since Izzy and Jayashree wanted to do the bumper cars and Deidra and I wanted to take on the Casa del Terror. I was surprised that Deidra wanted in on this since she's not a fan of all things spooky, but this would be her first haunted house and one at a kid's amusement park is a pretty good starter. For 3 euros, it definitely was an experience. The theme inside wasn't exactly cohesive and varied between movie theatre, jurassic park, the shining, catacombs, and skeletons playing chess. I won't name names but a certain someone was jumpscared by a door, and I almost tripped because I didn't see the stairs. Once we left, we found Jayashree and Izzy living it up in the bumper car arena and then strolled our way with anticipation to el Rio Misterioso. It was a pretty calm and scenic ride with a view of the ocean and city, just shorter than we expected it to be. The route led us into a small underpass where we saw...Peter Pan? Seeing him made me feel magical and whimsical, making for a truly life-changing boat ride. With that, I think the mysterious river really did live up to its name.

The view from the top!

My homies Pennywise and Peter Pan!

As promised, I said that I have a sneak peak into what next week's post will bring. First of all, thanks for staying this long! I really do appreciate when people read my posts and get to see what I'm doing day-to-day :). Now for the hint!

You get 5 blanks: _ _ _ _ _

It's a city in France, there's a show with my name in it and this city, and the Olympics will be taking place here this year. It's probably a dead giveaway, but still fun to guess!

See you soon,

Emily Dobao

IPE San Sebastian, Spain

July 2nd, 2024

#UmichEnginAbroad #IPETecnun #EmilyDobao #IPESummer24 #Spain

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itsanerdlife · 5 years

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Everything You Want 18/19

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warning: Lies. Fuck ton of lies. So many lies. Lots of secrets. So many fucking secrets. Language. Violence. Slow Burn. Lots of fighting. Heartbreak. Death threats. Kidnapping. Murder.

One Last Part

He slips in through one of the broke out windows from above. Climbing the wall a little higher out of view, covered in shadows. Harry is pacing, Y/N struggles against the bindings on her wrists, toes of her sneakers barely brushing the floor. Even enhanced it’s a difficult position to escape from. Her cheek is busted open and her eyebrow split. She struggled or tried to escape.

When Harry turns pacing in the other direction, Peter can see the marks Y/N left. Harry’s lip is swollen and ripped wide, down the center. His left eye is massively swollen, and already a deep nasty shade of red. She went down with a hell of a fight, than again that was something she was always doing. She fought no matter what the situation was.

“Now.” Harry chuckles, it’s twisted and dark. “We both know, we know, Peter knows.” Harry pauses grinning at Y/N.

“You’re a fucking nut job Osborn.” She huffs.

“I’m this way, because your little baby daddy.” He wags a finger at her.

“Think it might be genetic, your dad was pretty fucked too.” She scoffs.

“All because of Spider-Man.” Harry sing-songs. Christ he really is off his rocker.

“How hard up are you for Peter?” She smirks.

“He knows. We both know he knows. Bouncing baby boy, is Peter’s baby.” Harry does a little spin, on a whole new path of strange and seriously unstable.

“I never told him.” She lifts her chin. Peter’s head drops, letting out a silent sigh. “I told you, lunatic. You never know, what if he’s Tony Stark’s baby.” She taunts. Peter’s eye roll so hard he was momentarily dizzy. But this makes Harry pause, staring at her. “Do you even know my sons name?” She giggles. “Anthony. As in Tony Jr.” She wiggles her brow at Harry.

“No.” Harry grins, drawing out the word. “I’ve seen that chunky thing. He’s the spitting imagine of Peter.” Harry nods, starting to pace again. There’s a thump and glass breaking, from outside the building. The guys who clearly worked for Harry, look around.

“Boss?” One asks. Harry’s shoulders slump, annoyed.

“Fine. Fine. Check it out.” Harry waves them away. “Now.” He starts again, a disturbing chuckle follows. “Do I kill you now, torture you and send photos to Peter, or do I wait for him to show up and kill you in front of him.” Harry’s tone is giddy and excited.

“Did you really kidnap me, and not have this planned out?” Y/N shakes her head. “Well you don’t take after your father in some ways. That much is clear.” She snorts.

“One thing I did learn from my father.” Harry laughs, it bounces off the abandoned building walls. Pulling something from the back of his waist. The metal click, makes Peter’s stomach lurch. “Always shoot the messenger, it sends a clear message.” Harry chuckles. Y/N freezes, with nowhere to go.

“Harry!” Peter yells, dropping to his feet, pulling up to his full height. Harry laughs, spinning around, a grin on his face.

“I told you!” Harry dances with excitement. “I told you.” He looks over at Y/N. “Perfect timing.” Harry’s tone changes, it’s dark, filled with anger. He points his gun at Y/N again, she swallows, glaring at Harry.

“This is between you and me, Harry. Don’t.” He warns him.

“But is it? I mean it was between you and my dad. Then it was you and me. Now it’s her and me.” Harry grins with pure evil.

“Harry there are only two options here. You walk out in cuffs or you’re carried out in a body bag.” Peter warns him.

“She can leave in one too.” Harry snickers.

“What do you want, Harry!?” Peter’s voice rises in panic. The door slams open, a large man slides across the floor, unconscious. The rest of the team follows.

“It’s not about what I want anymore! You had your chance, you killed my father!” Harry yells back, suddenly seething with anger. “You took the only one I had. So it seems far I take the thing you love.” Harry smirks.

“You want my blood? Fine.” Peter throws out his arm. “Take it. It’s yours.” He swallows.

“Kid.” Buck’s voice filled with shock.

“You want the formula my dad used? I’ll write it down for you.” Peter offers. Harry looks on silently. “You want me to your damn lab rat. I’m yours.” He steps forward. “You want revenge for you dad. Kill me.” Peter announces.

“Peter.” Nat growls.

“I killed your dad. I don’t regret it. I’d do it again, given the chance. Harry I’ll kill you too and I won’t lose an ounce of sleep over the two of you.” Peter shrugs.

“You could have avoided all this!” Harry yells, shaking his gun at Y/N.

“You kidnapped the woman I love, Harry there is no avoiding what I’m going to do to you if you don’t stop pointing that gun at her.” Peter bites out. Y/N struggles, Sam moves forward. Harry sets off a warning shot into the ground near her feet. Y/N let’s out a yelp, wood splinters fly, Buck rips him back when he jerks forward.

“No I don’t think you will Romeo.” Harry grins, when everyone tenses up as he levels his gun with her chest.

“Shut the fuck up and do it, than.” Y/N snaps, anger contorted her features. “You’ve been ranting and rambling this whole time.” She spits. “Either pull the trigger or let me down so I can kill you myself.”

“What better way to go. With your family watching.” Harry grins, shrugging. Peter heard the snap, the force of it, slammed Harry back. Knocking him to the ground, his gun skids away, an arrow sticking out of his shoulder.

“Christ Barton!” Peter snaps, running for Y/N.

“Hey kid, not everyone climbs walls.” Clint huffs when he drops to his feet from somewhere above. “Took me a minute to get up the side and in, without dropping in on my back.” Clint grumbles. Peter’s arms wrap around Y/N’s waist, lifting her up so Buck can unhook her hands.

“Are you stupid?” Y/N snaps, shoving Peter in the chest when her feet are planted on the floor. “Offering yourself up!” She shoves him again.

“Hey! You left in the middle of the night.” He points a finger at her.

“Because he wanted you!” She throws up her still cuffed hands. She looks at them, before thrusting her hands up at Steve.

“Oh, let me.” Steve breaks them apart, freeing her.

“Thank you.” She rubs her wrists.

“So you both did stupid shit, for the other?” Sam’s head tips. Y/N and himself pause, thinking about that.

“Anthony is never dating.” Y/N clears her throat.

“Well if he’s like Peter, he’ll be too awkward, till he’s in his twenties.” Nat shrugs.

“He’s still awkward.” Buck snorts. Harry yells in pain from behind them. Clint’s holding his arrow, looking rather pleased with himself.

“What?” He looks over. “He tried to take my God son.” Clint shrugs.

“Anthony?” Y/N’s eyes snap open wide, looking at him.

“Tony and Wanda have him at the tower.” Peter brushes her hair back from her face.

“I let Tony jump out of my hotel window with our son.” She winces.

“Yeah, we’ll talk about that later.” Peter nods. Sam and Clint haul Harry up, his own cuffs on now. He tucks Y/N under his arm, close to his body. “Need Banner to look you over.” He nods, brushing his thumb down her cheek.

“I’ve had worse.” She smirks. Letting him lead her out of the building.

“Does it hurt?” He asks taking in the damage to her face.

“Not as much as watching you love someone else.” She shrugs.

“Never anyone else, sweetheart, always just you.” He kisses her forehead.

“Good cause I’m staying home, I can’t go back to feeling like my lungs have been ripped out. Anthony needs a lot more than just me.” She smiles softly.

“Oh you’ll be lucky if you get to leave the tower again. For a long, long time.” He chuckles.

“He does weird things.” She sighs.

“I know.” Peter nods. “We’ll figure it out.” He chuckles.

“You made him a freak.” She smirks at him.

“You made him chubby.” He chuckles. Her mouth opens and instead she laughs.

“Let’s get you home.” Clint opens the door for her.

Peter helps her in, before following her, settling in beside her. Her head comes to rest on his shoulder, her fingers slip between his, laced together. Together, right where they should have always been. But there was enough time to make up for what they lost.

-------------------

Everything Peaches 2/6/19: @xmtd5 @mo320 @all1e23 @courtmr @avxgers @eliza-kat @izzy--lee @irepeldirt @dumblani @crist1216 @a--1--1--3 @alyssaj23 @allyp1023 @joannie95 @nishanki1 @bugalouie @kolakube9 @rileyloves5 @sarahp879 @sea040561 @sexyvixen7 @pcterpvrker @pigwidgexn @doctoranon @tomhardy41 @abschaffer2 @justrae9903 @tony-stank3 @bookluver01 @teller258316 @callie-bear15 @nickimarie94 @wandressfox @amandab-ftw @carostar2020 @henrietteoaks @nea90sweetie @amberkay284 @circusofchaos @itsagalaxystar @bettercallsabs @miraclesoflove @lucifersnipnips @queenkrissy11 @elite4cekalyma @this-is-mycrisis @sadyoungadult @destiel-artemis @xrosegoldwolfx @paintballkid711 @isabelcrichards @iwillbeinmynest @sweet-honey15 @chanelmadrid13 @mellxander1993 @killerbumblebee @spookygrantaire @geeksareunique @supernatural508 @sammysgirl1997 @itzmegaaaaaaan @booksbeforebois @optimistic-babes @childishhoebinoo @elizabethaellison @aspiringtranslator @mariekoukie6661 @pure-princess-97 @capsheadquaters @samanthasmileys @nerdypinupcrystal @atlas-of-the-world @youclickedthislink @futuremrsb-r-main @lovemarvelousfics @notyourtypicalrose @petersunderoos96 @loving-life-my-way @buckystolemyheart @booktvmoviefangirl @supernatural-girl97 @thefridgeismybestie @dumbbitchenergytm @abbypalmer14-blog @fanfictionjunkie1112 @meganlikesfandoms @awkwardfangirl2014 @supernaturaldean67 @xqueenofthecraziesx @queenoftheunderdark @writingaworldofmyown @shann-the-artist-moon @supernaturallover2002 @daughterofthenight117 @mustbeaweasleyginger @mcuwillbethedeathofme @sprinklesandsugarcubes @whothehellisbucky-1930 @verymuchclosetedfangirl @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @ocaptain-mycaptainmorgan @wonderlandfandomkingdom @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @stupendoussciencenaturepanda @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @supernatural-strangerthings-1980

Marvel Tag List 2/6/19: @lumelgy @dottirose @jcc04220 @rockagurl @mizzzpink @jade-taillia @coley0823 @widowsfics @bookluver01 @thelostallycat @shield-agent78 @dtftheavengers @ilovetvshowsblog @iamwarrenspeace @thefridgeismybestie @whenallsaidanddone @deanwinchestersrifle @fandomsstolemylife00 @daughterofthenight117 @lilmissperfectlyimperfect

Peter ‘Fuck Me I’m Weak’ Parker:

@ml7010 @ariminiria @dkpink123 @boltsgirl919 @quokkatrash @everthenerd @ms-rogers06 @crayonwriting @baebeepeach @bellamouse16 @honey-bee-holly @messofamasterpiece @britkane-shsl-librarian @kiss-the-stars-goodbye

Everything You Want: @gabile18 @kriswu46 @starkbelova @garbage-bitch @bellewithbooks @little-dr-cranberry @tom-hollands-blog @simply-sams-things @misswritingintherain @hitoshi-s-stupid-bitch @verymuchclosetedfangirl

#Marvel #Peter Parker x Reader #Avengers #Peter x Reader #Everything You Want #Marvel Fanfiction #Peter Parker Series #Avengers Fanfiction #Spider-Man Series

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sian265 · 6 years

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Whisper Chapter 3

Whispers

Chapter 3

Alec was very happy he had let Izzy dress him. Luke picked Alec up and now the pair waited in Luke’s vehicle for valet to park the car. The line of cars was impressive with many a foreign luxury model waiting for the suited parking attendants. People weren’t formally dressed, it was still a nightclub. However, the attire was much more expensive than your average club-kid could afford. Alec himself wore a pair of black dress slacks and a black silk button-up that Izzy had presented him with on his last birthday. Even the alpha, Luke, wore fancier slacks and shirt than normal police detectives did.

Finally, the valet took the keys and Alec followed Luke into the foyer of Whispers. The outside of the club was simple, almost plain with a black awning and white stenciled ‘Whispers’ in a flowy script but inside was a whole different world. The club featured an elegant foyer with rich cherry wood. The coatroom and hostess stand both had well dressed, attractive young ladies manning them. Behind the stand was a set of stained glass sliding doors, they were stunning but it was the subject matter that had Alec blushing. Each pane of glass depicted a different scene, couples embracing in a series of intimate poses. Two women, two men, or a woman and a man, all nude, and all entwined in private dance.

The hostess slid the doors open and Alec followed Luke into the club. The interior was a lot quieter than Alec had imagined. There was light laughter, soft voices, low music and gently clinking of glassware being used. The low tables and soft lighting gave the large room a cozier feel. Couples sat at most of the tables with others standing at the long bar on one side of the room. One whole wall was made up of more stained glass, and Alec looked closer, yep, more nude pictures. Couples of every color, shape, and size, all depicted in states of intimacy. Before Alec could step through those doors, Luke put a hand on his arm to stop him. Alec looked at Luke, who seemed hesitant and unsure all of a sudden. “What is it,” he asked the other man.

Luke looked a little uncomfortable with what he was about to say. “Listen Alec, you are going to see, feel, and even hear some pretty strange things once we cross these doors. I just want you to know what happens here tonight, well it stays between us, okay?”

He had no idea what was up with his mom’s boyfriend, but decided to humor the alpha. “Sure Luke, no problem.” Alec stepped through the doors.

The lights were so low, Alec was tempted to use his night vision rune, but stopped because Luke moved in front of him and led the way. From what Alec could see there were three stages with groups of seating around all three. Luke leaned close to whisper, “The left side is the male dancer, the right the female, and the center for any undecided viewers.” Luke moved to a table in the center stage area.

A server appeared as soon as they sat and Alec ordered a beer, that he fully intended not drinking. Not only was tonight about business and he needed to keep his wits, but Alec wasn’t much of a drinker on a good night. Something told him he would need all his wits with this Warlock, Magnus Bane. He leaned a little closer to Luke, “Do we have to sit through this show before speaking with the Warlock?”

“Careful Alec, that sounded almost like a sneer when you said Warlock. Remember we want Magnus to talk, not offend him before he even sits down.” Luke warned.

Alec flushed. He had been working on his prejudices and knew he still needed to watch his tone. It wasn’t that he had a problem with Downworlders, hell his mother was dating one! It was just working past all the Clave bullshit they were indoctrinated into from birth. “Sorry Luke,” he muttered.

Luke just patted his arm. “Magnus won’t meet until after the show, but I have no doubt what-so-ever that he is fully aware we are here.”

“How do you know,” Alec asked.

Luke ginned. “I brought a Shadowhunter into his club, and not your mom. That more than anything will have Magnus’s curiosity pinged.” Before Alec could ask more the atmosphere changed.

The lights dimmed even further, almost completely pitch black except for the small flicker of candles on the tables themselves. Then the whispering started. Low, so low almost undetectable by Alec’s half human ears, but grew loud enough so that everyone in the room could hear it, not just the wolves. The voices echoed and bounced around the room almost seemingly hitting the walls to ricochet back against them. This kept on until Alec was almost ready to shout, enough! As abruptly as they started the whispers stopped.

“Good evening,” the voice whispered, and Alec shivered.

Goosebumps rose as it continued. “Welcome to Whispers.” The other low whispering was back and seemed to echo and caress the owner of the voice.

“What’s your forbidden desire?” The voice asked, and Alec felt sick. His hidden desire might be now out in the open, but he had still not found the courage to act upon it, the voice seemed to know this.

“The Whispers know, and here, you can indulge.” There was so much promise in those words, in that voice, that for a second, Alec believed it.

Luke’s hand on his arm broke the spell. Alec shook his head, trying to break away, stop the voice’s control. The hair on Alec’s arms and along the back of his neck was standing up, he felt almost electrified. He shifted in his seat, face flushed; thankfully in the dim light know no one could tell. Alec felt a stab of fear, he was aroused! The voice seemed to sense that he had enough because this time when it came the draw was not as powerful, not as seductive.

“Banish all but your desires, feast upon that which is forbidden.” The lights on the stage came up; a soft blue glow that spread till it covered the bowed, robed, figures. “Enjoy the whispers.” The voice faded away.

Alec tried to watch the show, but he couldn’t get that voice out of his head. The words kept repeating themselves over and over again. He wouldn’t have been able to tell anyone what the voice sounded like, only describe how it made him feel. So smooth, almost like what Alec imagined a lover’s caress might feel like. Or a drink of ice cold water after he had pushed and pushed in training, so good, Alec couldn’t drink fast enough. That voice could make one not think about responsibilities, not consider anything else, just following its direction. Directions to what you most desire, that’s what it promised.

He could tell Izzy later that the dancers were beautiful, that they moved in time perfectly. He would admit he still didn’t know if the center dancer was male or female. What he would tell no one was about the voice and what it did to him. Alec was ready to escape, and breathed a sigh of relief when the dancers left the stage. What Alec didn’t know was that another had not been watching the show either. Yellowish –gold cat eyes stayed fixed on the Shadowhunter through the entire performance. As soon as the house lights came up, the owner of those eyes made his move.

“Lucian Garroway, I thought my staff was joking when they reported you arrived in the company of a Shadowhunter.” A voice over Alec’s shoulder spoke and Luke stood up.

“Magnus,” Luke held out a hand. “Good to see you.” The pair shook and Alec turned slowly in his chair.

Twinkling dark eyes were trained on his face and Alec carefully stood up. “And not just any Shadowhunter, but I believe the Head of the New York Institute?” Magnus continued.

Alec didn’t remember his own name. He knew he was standing there like a fool with his mouth open, but nothing prepared one for Magnus Bane. The Warlock was only a couple inches shorter than Alec. He had black hair, spiked, and the glitter in it caught the light. His dark eyes were lined and he had the most perfect set of bow-shaped lips, stained red. Magnus was slender but with strong shoulders and biceps. Also, one impressive chest, fully on display in the shirt open to his navel. Several necklaces danced against his chest, and Alec’s eyes were drawn to that caramel-colored skin so firmly on display. Shaking his head a bit, Alec struggled to bring himself back under control. “Alec,” he managed to stutter out.

The eyes continued to twinkle and the red lips bore a slight smile, Magnus seemed to also like what he was seeing. “Lightwood, I believe, Maryse’s son?” Magnus asked, eyes still trained on Alec’s.

“Yes,” Alec answered and was thankful when those eyes left him to turn to Luke.

Magnus sighed, a small pout forming. “Well what can I do for the New York alpha and Head Shadowhunter? I take it this visit isn’t for pleasure?”

“Afraid not Magnus,” Luke replied. “Is there somewhere we can talk more privately?”

Magnus turned away and waved them to follow. “Very well, ruin my fun. Yes, you and pretty boy follow me.”

Alec was glad Luke followed Magnus first, so that he couldn’t see the grin on Alec’s face. Magnus called him pretty.

TBC…

#malec fanfiction #au #Magnus x Alec

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sapphicalexaandra · 7 years

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Beautiful Mess (4/4)

Pairing: Jace/Alec

Rating: E

Summary: The new development through Clary’s and Izzy’s eyes

Notes: Posting now the final chapter of my Jalec Secret Santa for @myltzi, because tomorrow i’m too busy to post. This is just a little epilogue from Clary’s and Izzy’s pov, to wrap the entire fic with a nice sweet bow ;)

Epilogue: Reassured

Clary

Clary, tray of food in hand, stood in the middle of the mess hall, her eyes rapidly roaming the place, looking for a free table…until something else caught her interest.

Jace’s back was visible in her line of sight, as he, his own tray in hand, made his way towards a table to the left. When he reached it, Clary noticed that Alec and Izzy were already seated there, and Clary held her breath when she saw Jace immediately sit down next to Alec.

Jace’s face was properly visible at that point, and he seemed relaxed, a smile playing casually on his lips, as he put a hand on Alec’s shoulder, saying something that Clary couldn’t hear. Alec looked back at him, and the smile was easy on Alec’s face, too, making crinkles appear around his eyes.

Turning his head to face Izzy instead, Jace kept on talking animatedly as his hand slid from Alec’s shoulder, until it disappeared behind the edge of the table, out of Clary’s sight. But she thought she had a pretty good idea of what it did.

Jace’s eyes moved around the room, then, and they fixed on Clary as soon as he noticed her.

He was clearly taken aback, but he didn’t shy away from her gaze. The two of them stared at each other for a long moment, until Clary managed a smile and Jace nodded somberly at her, before his gaze fell back on Alec.

Even though only Jace’s profile was visible now, Clary could clearly see that his eyes were transfixed by Alec’s every moment, a softness in them that Clary had seen on him before, yes, but not like this. Never quite like this.

She was glad, really, that they had figured it out. She knew Jace had just thanked her, and she hoped it was because she’d had even just a small part in making him give a chance to a future with Alec. She hoped Jace now knew that you should never let the people you love go, and you need to cherish that love, because time is fleeting and something beautiful could come out of it…

Clary nodded to herself, swallowing the lump in her throat, before she found another table. Just this once.

Izzy

“I can’t believe we still haven’t found a better cook,” Jace said as he sat down next to Alec, one hand putting the food tray on the table while the other placed itself on Alec’s shoulder. “Really, it’s almost as bad as if Izzy cooked for us all,” he added, looking meaningfully at Alec.

Izzy huffed, as her traitor brother was surely going to agree.

“Well, Jace, I also wouldn’t put you in charge of the cooking,” Alec teased instead, and a smirk appeared on Izzy’s face, as she threw a Ha! Ha! at Jace.

“I take offense to that!” Jace burst out, but he wasn’t looking at Alec, rather at her, and Izzy couldn’t help but notice how Jace’s hand casually sneaked down from Alec’s shoulder, clearly going to hold Alec’s hand under the table. Subtle. “Am I the only one who remembers the Christmas incident of 2011?!” Jace went on.

Izzy rolled her eyes. “That was one time! And the kitchen is perfectly fine now, isn’t it?”

“The interior is all wooden, Iz, it’s a miracle you didn’t burn it all to a crisp,” Alec jumped in, far too amused for Izzy’s tastes.

“Well, am I the only one who remembers the time Jace gave us all food poisoning because he cooked rotten fish?” Izzy asked exasperatedly.

“Did I not just say that I wouldn’t trust Jace just as much as you?”

“Mmh, you better.”

Izzy smiled, but at the corner of her eye she noticed how Jace was staring fixedly at something right behind her, and she had a pretty good guess what that was, or who.

“Seriously, though, I can’t believe that of all the things I need to do, now I have to start looking for a better cook, too! You’d expect that to be a basic necessity, you know?” Alec complained, as he looked distastefully at the mush that was his food.

That was why he hadn’t noticed Jace getting distracted, nor when Jace turned his head towards him again, studying his face as if it was the most interesting thing in the room. For Jace, Izzy mused, it was probably just that.

She sighed. This was good, having Jace back, them all talking and smiling and joking together like old times, and her heart warmed at seeing Jace and Alec sit so close together, still clearly holding hands. Her brother looked happier than she’d seen him in…ever, as he finally met Jace’s stare and returned it with just as much intensity, the smile never leaving his lips.

The mission must’ve gone far better than Izzy had hoped, even if she would’ve rather preferred her brother to not almost die, like he had reluctantly admitted to her had happened. She also didn’t want to think too hard about the details of what had caused the two of them to glow like two Christmas trees.

Still, she needed for things to be said to her, out loud. She would not accept silent understandings, because that led too easily to loud misunderstandings. They were not excluding her from this.

So when they got out of the mess hall and started walking together towards the ops center, Izzy, in a swift move, caught them both by the wrist and dragged them into a storage cupboard.

“Wha-”

“Hey-”

“Shhh!”

They shut up until Izzy finally found the light switch and turned it on.

“What is going on, Iz?” Alec, his arms crossed, asked her once he could see her.

They were both looking at her expectantly, with a side of unease.

“Look,” Izzy started, “you won’t find someone happier for you than I am…”

“What – what do you mean, Izzy?” Jace said, frowning, before sharing a look with Alec.

“Seriously, guys? You were holding hands right under my nose!”

Jace crossed his arms, too, trying to keep a smile away from his face, while Alec cleared his throat a few times.

Izzy raised her eyes to the heavens. “If that’s all the subtlety you can muster, then you’ll be found out in one week, one week!”

“Oh c’mon, we knew you had guessed it,” Alec replied curtly, “we just thought we would all agree to never speak about it openly. If something happens, and it turns out that you knew about it…”

“Yeah, Iz, we didn’t want to drag you into it,” Jace agreed.

“Well, not a chance. You’re not keeping me out of it, I don’t care what happens. I’m done with secrets between us, okay?”

Izzy, crossing her own arms, looked meaningfully at them both, and they at least had the decency to look sheepish. Jace hadn’t told anyone about his death and had been drawn into a demonic bond as a result; Alec had just up and left to go ask Jace to kill him one day, and Izzy dreaded to know what it would’ve been like if both of them hadn’t returned.

Alec looked at Jace, then, before turning his head towards her, nodding. “No more secrets.”

“No more secrets,” Jace echoed, somber.

Something unclenched in Izzy’s entire body, and she could breathe more easily.

“Good,” she stated, “and promise me you will be more careful than I’ve seen so far.”

Alec sighed. “We’re not stupid, you know.”

“Debatable,” Izzy said, before adding with a smirk, “and you should thank me, by the way.”

Jace raised an eyebrow. “And why is that?”

“Well, I suggested to Alec that you’d go on a mission together, to rekindle your connection, I think I said.” She was openly teasing now, and it was so much fun. Where had the fun gone from her life? “I gather your rekindling went well.”

Jace burst into laughter, while Alec was pointedly looking up at the ceiling as if he had found something far more interesting there. Izzy thought that they had both turned rather red in the face, though, even if the lighting in that closet wasn’t very good. She snickered anyway.

“I would’ve preferred it if Alec hadn’t gotten hurt, but apparently only tough love works with you two. Still, I hope I won’t be seeing you two being stupid again. At the first long face, I’m banging your heads together, for real,” she concluded with a pointed look.

“Okay, okay, Iz. Are you done?” Alec said impatiently, and Izzy couldn’t help but smirk again at his embarrassment.

“I think so. Well then, I’ll be going back to work.” She opened the door, about to step through. “And wait till I’m out to kiss, please?”

Jace stuck out his tongue at her, then he deliberately pulled Alec towards himself – who, taken aback, looked down at him with eyes as big as saucers – before drawing him in for an open-mouthed kiss.

“You’ll pay for that!” Izzy whisper-shouted, before closing the door on them.

“Was that necessary, Jace?” she heard Alec whisper forcefully.

“As if you minded.”

When silence followed, Izzy quietly stepped away.

#shadowhunters #jalec #clary fray #isabelle lightwood #jalecsecretsanta #jalec fic #my fic #my writing #beautiful mess #it comes and goes

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axelsagewrites · 7 years

Text

Kiss me before I fucking lose my mind-Alec lightwood

Never done a lyrics imagine but here you go.

btw the songs called kiss me before I lose my fucking mind by Charlie Puth.

I Should have told You how I really feel A little in advance

Then I Would’ve had some time To go and work it out I think I’ve lost my chance

I watched as Magnus approached my 3 year long crush Alec Lightwood. We had known each other for 4 years after my parents sent me to the New York institute. There I had met my parabibiti Izzy, friend Jace and of course Alec. We didn't get on at first but after me and Iz became parabibiti he relised I was sticking around. For the last 3 years we had been flirtasiously teasing each other but nothing happened. I was to scared to tell him. Now I had to watch this warlock fawn over him. Don't get me wrong I love downworlders but this is testing my patience.

For the last 3 years I just hid it so well Hoping that you’d figure it out because I never could tell it Straight to your face

Izzy looked at me with a sad smile as she saw me staring at the two. She walked over “I'm sure its nothing”.

“mmm” I responded. we were waiting for Clary to finish drawing the chalk thingy, yeh I didn't rely pay attention. “Maybe you should tell him?” Iz suggested for the 100th time. “You and I both know I don't have the guts.”

Never have I ever woken up in a cold hard sweat From a dream wondering If you’d ever say "goodbye" If I didn’t say it first

“I'm starving” Jace complained. “Yeh me too, I'm gonna run down to the corner shop. I’ll grab you some crisps/chips(I call them crisps but the US says chips so I’ll write both) You want anything Iz?” I questioned walking to the door.

“No thanks” “Ok what about you Alec?” He was snapped out of his daze “Ehh sure a can of cola”

“Ok, be to secs bye.” Jace and Izzy said bye as I stood in the door way. “Bye Alec..” I reminded him.

“Oh Yeah bye” As I walked out the apartment I couldn't help but wonder if he would even notice.

I’m done Playing these games I can’t believe what I’m about to say I won’t tell you goodbye With my love left behind Kiss me before I Fucking lose my Mind

As I was walking back I decided I would tell him tonight. By the time I got back up they had already done the spell and failed. “Oh well heres your drink anyway” I went o hand the blue eyed boy his drink when he said “No its fine. Magnus summoned me one up after you left. “Oh”

“Sorry you left before I could say” Magnus said. “Its fine” I smiled walking out with Izzy.

No No more nights Drink until my loneliness Up till 2 AM

No No more waiting Pacing round the bar Hoping that you might walk in

That night I went to a downworlder bar and just sat and drink. I left Alec a note saying I would be there and he should come to. I figured it would be easier to tell him if I was tipsy. Well now I was drunk and looking at the door.

“You alright?” Maia asked. “Yeh just drank a bit much” I said paying off my tab.

Never have I ever woken up in a cold hard sweat From a dream wondering If you’d ever say "goodbye" If I didn’t say it first

I’m done Playing these games I can’t believe what I’m about to say No I won't tell you goodbye With my love left behind Kiss me before I Fucking lose my mind

I woke up the next morning with a hang over. Alec opened my door. “Uhh you reek like whiskey” he joked “get ready we have a mission.”

“With who?” I sat up. “Just us” He left. Fuck it I thought. This is driving be insane.

I’m done Playing these games

After the mission we were walking back when I stopped him. “Alec I gotta tell you something and you cant flip”

”Ok” I can’t believe what I’m about to say

I took a breath in. Cause I would rather die Then feeling this inside Tricks played on my mind No I would rather die

″What is it Y/N?” Then just tell you goodbye With my love left behind

Could I just run away? No never.

“I love you Alec” I looked down then he said

“Kiss me before I Fucking lose my Mind “

Masterlist

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babylon-bitch · 7 years

Text

Just Friends ~ I'm Cool As Fuck (part 40)

A/N this chapter barely has anything to do with 5sos lmao. Just a heads up for the next chapter, it will be confusing but hopefully not too confusing, I’m warning you now.

Harper White is best friends with Luke Hemmings, they always have been. Not only is she friends with the rockstar, but with the rest of 5 Seconds Of Summer, as well as a really nice girl named Erika.

Harper has a few secrets, she can play all the instruments the boys play and many more. It’s a talent she has kept hidden, only very few people know.

What will happen to the six teens, wondering around the world together?

Warnings: language and the tiniest piece of smut

***

I’ve been really busy these part few weeks, with saying goodbyes, moving, setting things up, buying new stuff for my flat, basically just moving. It’s been pretty stressful but at the same time really fun. So far I’ve loved every minute of this all, I’m a pretty independent person when it comes to family, especially since my brothers moved out, usually staying in my room and keeping myself to myself, so to live by myself has been really nice.

I’ve pretty much set everything up, I just need some bits and bobs. I took everything I need with me in my suitcase, the rest I had my parents send out to me. The flat came fully furnished, of course I got a few pieces of furniture myself, but I mainly just needed home stuff.

If you couldn’t tell, I got the flat and I’m very happy about it. My brothers and Evie came over to help me buy and set up the few stuff I got. I’m telling you now, IKEA instructions are useless. We all sat on the floor trying to figure out what goes where. Evie ended up just laying on the sofa, we all joined her shortly. After a couple of hours, we worked out how it works and moved everything to where I wanted it. I couldn’t be anymore happier with it, I love it.

One thing I dearly miss from home is my studio, I don’t have anything with me right now, nor anywhere to put everything if I had at least some instruments. It’s annoying because I’ve had loads of lyrics pop up in my head, but haven’t been able to put them into anything. I’ve only just written them down, it kinda makes me sad. Music has always been my escape from everything, so to not have anything is really quite hard. I just end up listening to music if everything gets a bit too much.

I haven’t needed to run away from anything, only when I got here becuase I missed Luke and the guys. I’ve been really happy with my life recently, although being away from the people I love, I’m a lot happier than I thought I’d be. I thought it would take me weeks, possibly months to get over it all, but no, I’m excited for this new chapter in my life. I may not have my soulmates with me but they are living happily in their lives.

We have talked quite a bit, no where near as much as we used to but it’s more than I expected.

I’m really happy with my life right now, of course I want my friends and boyfriend by my side but as opposed to not having them by my side all the time, I’m coping really well.

Right now I’m just talking to Luke, via text.

Luke: you make me really happy, also horny but that’s not the point.

Me: are you trying to say something?

Luke: maybe

Me: did you come off stage with an boner again?

Luke: yes. I can’t help it! The song reminded me of you and then my thoughts procrastinated into other things.

Me: oh poor sexually frustrated Luke

Luke: this isn’t funny, Harper! I’m sitting in Michael’s dressing room with a huge erection, I need help

Me: why can’t you do it yourself? and why are you in his dressing room?

Luke: because you’re my girlfriend. It would feel weird if I looked up stuff. We all went in here, it will look suspicious if I went to my own dressing room.

Me: maybe I don’t wanna help you out

Luke: you better get ready for the long ass night you’re in for when I get home

Me: ooooooh, getting dominant here are we?

Luke: Harper, please do something :(

Me: give me a minute

Luke: fuck

I laugh at my phone before going into my lone bedroom. Changing into my most sexy jet black underwear and then going to my wardrobe to grab Luke’s flannel, knowing he will recognise it. I stole this from him before he left, I needed a few items of his that reminds me of him. I took a few of his shirts and a couple of flannels. To make up for it, I slipped a load of notes in his luggage, just things that will make his day a little, for example have a great day or love you to the moon and back. Just to name a few.

Slipping on the flannel and then kneeling infront of my mirror, like the pose Halsey does in Hold Me Down but just still. Taking a few pictures, before I put my clothes back on and send them to Luke.

Luke: oh, baby girl

Me: don’t leak anything because you aren’t exactly tecsavy.

Luke: that’s really not something I’m thinking about right how.

Me: just go do your business then come back to me

Throwing my phone onto my bed and then making my way into the shared kitchen.

“Oh hello.” I smile as I notice someone is in here.

“Hey, you are?” The girl with blue streaks in her hair asks.

“I’m Harper, I moved in a couple of weeks ago.” I inform her.

“Oh, right. I’m Tori by the way. I’m number 39.” She grins.

“I’m number 37, the one with the squeaky door.” I chuckle.

“That’s you?” She laughs. “Are you here for university or just live here?”

“I’m here for university. How long have you been here?” I ask.

“A couple of years. I’m in my final year of uni. I love drawing, painting, graffiti, anything art related really. What are you studying?” She questions.

“That’s really cool. I’m studying philosophy.” I answer.

“Where do come from, you’ve got a slight accent.” She notices.

“Oh, I come from England, but live in Australia.” I explain.

“Right. I lived in Germany for a year when I was 18.” Tori says.

“I went there with my best friend at Christmas time once. It was really pretty.” I say.

“Is your best friend here or in Australia?” She asks.

“He is on tour right now, with my other friends.” I explain.

“Tour?” She furrows her eyebrows.

“Yeah, he is in a band, 5 Seconds Of Summer, ever heard of them?”

“I think I’ve heard of them but never listened to them.” She shrugs.

“Their pretty cool, anyway I came in here to make some lunch.” I chuckle and take my stuff out of the fridge.

“There’s actually a party going on at one of the boy’s flats, down by the university. Would you wanna join me?” She offers.

“It’s not really my thing.” I sheepishly say.

“It would be great to meet everyone.” She reasons.

“Sure, what the hell, this isn’t high school anymore.” I shrug.

“Damn right. So it starts at like 9, but we’ll probably go around half nine.” She explains.

“Please don’t let me get shitfaced, last time I did, I ended up getting a tattoo of my boyfriend’s name.” I beg and show her Luke’s name.

“Isnt he the one in the band, that’s also your best friend?” She furrows her eyebrows.

“He is my best friend as well as my boyfriend. We grew up together, our parents are friends.” I tell her.

“Oh, right.” She nods. “I’ll leave you to make your lunch, I’ll come knock on your door when we should start getting ready.” She smiles.

“Okay, thanks for the invite, I’ll see you later.” I wave.

She walks out the kitchen and I smile to myself, before putting my pasta on to boil.

I lean against the counter top and begin to type in the group chat. “Holy shit!” I yell slightly as a cat comes slyly walks in.

“ROGER!” Someone calls.

I hold my phone to my chest, as I wait for them to come. I miss my cat Bess, so to satisfy my cat cravings, I sit cross legged on the tiled floor. The cat comes right up to me and rubs itself against me.

“Awe, who do you belong to?” I ask.

I thought we weren’t allowed to have pets in this place.

“ROGER?” The same voice calls, this time a lot closer. “Oh, there you are, I can’t lose you in the first week of having you.” A girl with red dyed hair walks in.

“Um, a couple of questions,” I start off, “firstly, cute cat, secondly cool hair, thirdly I thought we weren’t allowed animals in this building.”

“Thank you,” she smiles. “She’s a shared cat between everyone in this hall.”

“She?” I question.

“Her name is Roger, yeah. I mean, how many people name their cat Roger, let alone their female cat.” She explains.

“Right,” I nod my head. “How long have you guys had uhm, Roger?” I ask.

“Two years. She is very friendly, as you can see. Everyone loves her. She’s kinda part of the whole community. If you didn’t guess already, the landlord is a bit quirky. Each floor has one, most of them are abandoned/rescued or the one noone wanted, so he decided to give them each a home. Here we are a few years later. Everyone has their turn of taking care of him/her, I just started taking care of him and I have him till the end of the month.” She explains. “Oh and she can be out in the halls, but needs to be supervised. She is allowed in other people’s rooms, but in my room when he needs feeding and stuff.”

“That’s really cool. Which floor has the youngest?” I question.

“Apparently the top floor, the one above us, got a new one last month. He is still a kitten.” She says. “I’m Izzy by the way.”

“Harper.” I shake her hand.

“You’re the person that just moved in right?” She asks.

“Yeah, I’m surprised I haven’t really met anyone yet, I just met Tori.” I tell her.

“She’s really nice, total babe.” She laughs. “I’m gay by the way.”

“My friend from back home is gay too, unfortunately she’s take, so I can’t play matchmaker.” I sigh.

“If they break up hit me up,” she jokes and I laugh.

“Will do.”

“Thanks.” She winks. “So, are you going to the party tonight?”

“Yeah, I’m going with Tori.” I smile. “Are you going?”

“Of course. I’d never miss an oppertunity to regret my decisions.” She exclaims.

“You should come with us.” I offer.

“Really?” She asks.

“Unless you’ve got other plans…” I trail off.

“No,” she shakes her head, “well, guess I’ll see guys later.” She smiles and begins to walk off.

“Cat, Izzy.” I remind her with a sigh.

“Fuck.”

***

It’s nearly time to go, I’m just finishing off my make up. I’ve dressed in a tight fitting black dress, with some ankle boots. I haven’t dressed up like this in ages, it’s actually really nice, I mean, I wouldn’t want to dress like this everyday but I feel very confident in myself.

“I’m a YouTuber, my friend Erika and I run it.” I explain.

“Really? How have I been so isolated about all this? How long have you been doing it?” Tori asks.

“3 or 4 years, I think.” I answer as I lean forward into the mirror to do my mascara.

“What are you guys called?” Izzy questions.

“Just Erika and Harper.” I shrug and put on some red lipstick.

“Jesus fucking Christ, you guys have 1 million subscribers?” Tori exclaims.

“Yeah,” I sheepishly say, “well 1 and three quarters.”

I run my hand through my loosely curled hair. I should really get my hair cut again, it’s really quite long, just under my boob.

“Nearly 2 million.” Tori breathes.

“Nearly,”

Standing up and smoothing out my dress, before going to get my phone, for the vital picture before going out.

We’ve gotten to know each other quite well over these past few hours. Izzy is a real free spirit, kinda hippy but not, she’s also really out there fashion wise. Tonight she is wearing a denim flared jump suit, which have tiny hand sewn flowers on it, with some see through heels. It looks pretty cool actually and really suits her. I’ve only spent a few hours with her, yet she is so different to everyone I’ve ever met. She’s kinda like Pheobe from Friends.

Tori is cool too. She’s very different from Izzy but they get along really well. They’ve been friends, but never really gotten to know each other. Tori is your basic white girl, but not the annoying kind; you know the ones I’m talking about? She’s really funny and is fun, she’s the kinda person that’ll call you up, and ask you to go for some ice cream or something.

In the short time I’ve known them, I already love them to pieces. I feel as if they are gonna be some good friends for the next few years and a lot of memories are gonna be made.

“Yes! Work it! Get that picture! Just like that! Yes! Get it! Oooo! Work it! Girl!” Tori says as I take the pictures, causing us all to laugh.

“I’m gonna post this to my account, so a lot of people will see this. Is that okay with you guys?” I ask for consent.

“It’s fine with me.” Izzy shrugs.

“Yeah, same.” Tori nods.

I post them on all my social media platforms with the caption: What should our squad be called?

In the span of five minutes, my phone blows up with notifacations.

Dicks and Chicks

Michael: you’re replacing us already?

Erika: dude, we were supposed to be together forever!

Ashton: who is the girl on the right?

Calum: you all look hot to be fucking honest

Luke: dude! That’s my girlfriend.

Calum: I’m so scared

Me: jeez, calm down guys! I knew you all loved me. You hardly expect me to just be left alone for three years…

Maddie: no on likes you Harper.

Me: shut the fuck up, Maddie. I have more friends than you.

Luke: where are you going anyway?

Me: we’re going to a party

Luke: nooooo, I’m not there to protect you :(

Me: I’ll be fine. Oh and Ashton, that’s Izzy, she’s gay

Maddie: oooooo, that’s my territory

Erika: ahem

Maddie: soz babe :/

Luke: be careful out there, remember that you have a boyfriend

Me: how could I forget Calum?

Calum: 😏😏

Luke: fuck you

Me: no, Calum does that

Calum: damn right

Michael: trouble in paradise…

Ashton: leave my boyfriend alone, Harper. Cashton 4 lyfe

Me: maybe I should replace you guys.

Laughing at my phone and then stuffing it in my bra. “Whats so funny?” Izzy questions.

“Um, my friends back home. We have a group chat and we are just messing around.” I answer. “Pre drinks?” I offer.

“Party time!” Tori cheers.

“God, yes.” Izzy sighs and we make our way to the kitchen.

Tori grabs three shot glasses, whilst Izzy mix up a drink, and I just sit on the counter top, calling up an Uber.

“To a great night!” We all say in unison, bringing up our glances and then downing them, cringing at the sour taste.

“Holy shit.” We all mutter.

“Pretty sure this just pure vodka, Izzy.” I claim. “Kinda nice,” I shrug as the taste lingers in my mouth.

We do another round and eat some stodgy food, before getting into our Uber.

***

We’ve been at the party for around an hour now. I’m really enjoying it so far, I’m just pressed against a walls, observing everybody. Some people are absoloutly smashed, a few people are off their face on drugs, and a lot of people are just chilling out in their own little groups of friends. Tori and Izzy have left me to go pee and get a new drink.

I’m okay on my own though, just sipping on my bottle of beer. I’m a little tipsy, I’m no where near drunk and I don’t plan on being either.

“Hi, I’m Blake.” Someone introduces themselves and he leans on the wall with his shoulder.

I look to my left and see a boy with blonde hair, in a quiff and outstanding bright blue eyes.

When I first came in, Tori and Izzy warned me about this whole group of people, especially Blake.

“I’m Harper,” I nod.

“So you’re famous?” He blurts out.

“Um, no.” I say and take a sip of my drink.

“Then why did someone come up for a picture with you half an hour ago?” He questions.

“Because I’m cool as fuck, why wouldn’t you want a picture with me?” I state.

“Is that so?” He asks and I nod. “So this isn’t you with Luke Hemmings?” He questions and pulls out his phone with a picture of Luke and I. We’re just on Michael’s sofa, laughing together.

“Nope.” I tell him and take a swig of my drink.

“You wouldn’t happen to be… dating him would you?” He questions with a smirk. “No.” I shake my head.

“So this isn’t you here, here, oh and here?” He asks and pulls up a photo of Luke and I holding hands, then me and him looking at each other with loving eyes, the last one is of Luke and I making out on the night of my birthday.

“What do you even want?” I question.

“I’m not quite sure yet, but you seem interesting.” He muses and rests an arm on my shoulder.

“You know, I’m not an object. I may not confess on who I’m dating, but I do have a boyfriend. So if you could get your fuck boy-ness away from me, that’d be great.” I tell him.

“And this is what I like about you.” He claims.

“You don’t know me.” I laugh.

“But I’d like to, firstly you seem pretty cool, I’ve been observing you this whole time you’ve been here, same as you have, secondly you’re really hot.” He explains.

“Am I supposed to fall in love with you, because under all this fuck boy you’ve got a heart of gold, and nobody really sees who you really are?” I questions with a grimace.

“If you want.” He shrugs.

“You’re really annoying. This type of stuff happens in America, not England- wait, no, this stuff happens in movies.” I whine.

“You’ve got a bit of Aussie in you, I hear.” He says.

“I grew up in Aus, then moved over here when I was seven, moved back when I was thirteen, spent the rest of my teen years there, this is the first time I’ve lived here for a while.” I explain with a bored expression.

“Can we take a picture together?” He asks.

“Why?” I question.

“Because you’re cool as fuck.” He quotes.

“Don’t use my words against me.” I laugh. “Fine, we’ll take one picture, because I’m cool as fuck.”

“Wasn’t that hard was it?” He mutters and takes his phone out of his pocket,

He holds his phone in front of us and we both smile into the camera.

“Luke is gonna be mad, when he finds this.” I mutter with a chuckle.

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sapphicalexaandra · 7 years

Text

Your Deepest Desires (2/4)

Pairing: Jace/Alec

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: The meeting with the Seelie Queen didn’t go as planned, and now Jace and Alec have to face the consequences of their awakened feelings.

Notes: A Canon Divergence, rewriting of the Seelie Court kiss (and beyond), but with Jalec. Read tags for further information.

Chapter 2

“We are buried in broken dreams.”

Izzy’d had a long day.

Preparing the Institute for the Cabinet that was set for the next day between local Shadowhunters and Downworlders leaders, while its Head was away on an important diplomatic mission, wasn’t a piece of cake. Not that Izzy didn’t excel in this kind of preparations, or that she was going to complain about her brother trusting her with this responsibility after all her recent…issues. It’s just that these particular issues had lowered her endurance considerably; an exhaustion deep in her bones that not even her Stamina rune could quench.

Consequently, she was now looking forward to burying herself into her bed in the hopes of catching some sleep, which had become far too elusive lately.

She hadn’t been prepared for what she found there, however.

Izzy had seen her big brother upset, grumpy, intolerable, distressed, set over the edge…but the mess she found curled up on her floor half-hidden behind her wardrobe was hardly recognizable as the person she loved most in this world.

“A-Alec? What happened?!” She immediately rushed over, panic setting on her, as she knelt in front of him and laid her hands on his shaking shoulders.

Alec was covering his face with his hands, but when he reluctantly raised his head to blindly stare at her, the blotchiness and utter despair in his features was unmistakable.

“Did – did someone –?” she stumbled to ask, her sense of dread only rising. The Seelies were a difficult species to handle…but could a diplomatic mission really have turned out that bad? She felt her stomach twist in knots as she started imagining the worst scenarios that could’ve reduced her brother in this state. “…Magnus? Jace? Are they –?”

“N-no…they’re – fine,” came Alec’s cracked voice, barely above a whisper.

He didn’t seem able to clarify further at her inquisitive, frantic raise of eyebrows. He simply leaned – almost smacked – his head against the wall behind him, scrunching his face in anguish, breathing hard.

Izzy felt herself tear up against her strongest will.

“I’m here, big brother, okay? Whatever happened, you know you can count on me,” she shifted next to him, letting him rest his head on her shoulder, gripping his hands. “Anything you need…”

She held him as he kept on drawing in uneven breaths, his body uncontrollably shaking as he tried to contain the sobs threatening to burst out of him. It took a while before he had calmed down enough to let out somewhat coherent words.

“The – the Seelie Queen…sneaky, that one. A real – piece of work,” was all that he managed.

“What did she do?” she asked gently, mentally adding the Queen to her permanent blacklist.

“A test! Or they would all die – M-Magnus, J-J-Jace and the mun–vampire. Clary and I had to choose which one we wanted to…kiss the most,” he explained, laughing mirthlessly.

“A – kiss?” Seelies sure were creative. “Then what is the prob–?”

A pointed, piercing look from Alec reminded her of a very different conversation they’d had a long time ago.

“You – you kissed…Jace?” His lowered head was answer enough.

Of course, she had known of her brother feelings for his parabatai for a while now. She knew how much he had struggled with it, how much it had plagued him. Yet, at this point in time, after all Alec had gone through, it came as a bit of a surprise…

“Alec, I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think…”

“Not as bad?! I kissed my parabatai in front of my boyfriend’s disappointed face! When I had thought – really thought that that chapter of my life was finally over, you know?” he blurted out. “That I had put an end to it! I’m – I’m happy! In a relationship for the first time in my life, with a person I like a lot! And yet, why is that – why can’t I just?!”

“Oh, Alec…”

He pulled back his hands from her hold to run them through his hair. “After all this time, nothing has changed! Why do I still have to love the only person in the world I’m literally forbidden to love! And – and who would never…”

“Alec, you can’t beat yourself up like this over it. You can’t help–”

Alec let out another sound, like that of a trapped animal. Leaning his elbows on his knees and hiding his face in his hands again, his voice was muffled as he chanted, “Stupid – so fucking stupid…”

“Alec, no, don’t say that, you are not stupid.” She smoothly, but firmly, tried to pry his hands away from where they were clawing at his face. She waited till he looked at her thorough his bleary eyes. “You’ve had this feelings for such a long time, you can’t expect them to just go away. It’s really not been that long…it’s only normal that you still have some residual feelings…”

“Residual feelings?!” his voice peaked at his sarcastic remark. “Residual feelings I could accept, even deal with! But this?” he pointed at himself and his current state. “If these are just some residual feelings–”

“Then you need to actually give yourself time to move on! Not by just ignoring that part of you! Look – look at me, how I tried to sweep everything under the rag in the hope it would just go away. But it wouldn’t, it kept coming back stronger and stronger…”

“Then what should I do? How am I supposed to…?” he trailed on, unnerved.

“I would like to know as much as you, I would like so much to be able to help ease your pain right now, big brother…but it’s something you have to figure out yourself.”

Alec sagged in on himself. Izzy couldn’t see him like this.

“But I’ll be here for you, whenever you need me. I’m surprised you came to me so soon...but I’m glad. After how I’ve been –” she tentatively smiled at him, to see if she could spring a reaction out of him.

“Don’t mention it.” He wasn’t looking at her. His gaze was fixed on a spot in front of him, completely spent.

Izzy doubted her words could lift him up. Was this what it felt being on this end? So useless.

“You’ll get through this, okay?” She had to make him believe that.

Izzy went to cup his face, as a thought occurred to her. “How did the others react?”

He snorted. “I honestly don’t know. I kind of ran away. I couldn’t face them. Hell, Magnus will probably never want to see me again. And Jace will likely try to pretend nothing of importance happened…”

“You know they love you, right? I’m sure they – Magnus, especially – will understand. You need to go talk to him, you’ll see!”

“I highly doubt that…”

“And Jace! He wouldn’t want to hurt you in anyway, this won’t change anything between you two…”

“I know that. Do you think I don’t know that? But right now, I don’t need…I can’t look in his eyes and see his pity. I can’t look at him, hear him say ‘We’re brothers, of course we love each other!’ and just be okay with it…because a part of me – a part of me doesn’t want to move on, do you understand?”

Izzy, sadly, did.

“I still look at him and see everything I can’t have.” He closed his eyes again. “All the things I tried to bury…all the things I shouldn’t be feeling, they’re all on the surface now and I can’t, I don’t want to let them go just yet…I need some air.”

And just like that, he got up and started moving towards the door.

“Alec, wait!” She grabbed his arm to stop him. “Where are you going?”

“Just…out. I need to clear my head.”

Izzy went around him to look him in the eyes. “Are you sure you should be alone right now? I don’t –,” she tried to talk over his impending protest. “I don’t want you doing something stupid or...”

“Iz.” His expression softened, as he put his hands on her shoulder. “I’ll be fine.” His eyes were still red, and she remembered the sight of an unconscious Alec on the roof of Magnus’s apartment. She couldn’t be so sure about that.

“I promise,” he added firmly, seeing the concern in her eyes. “I won’t do anything stupid. Like you said…I need to figure this out on my own.”

Letting go was indeed one of the hardest things to do.

“Message me when you get back, then…please.” He nodded, and she hugged him.

Buried in her brother’s shoulder had always been one of her favorite places. He had always been her rock, like she had been his. Seeing him shaken like this, knowing how much he didn’t deserve this kind of pain in his life, hurt her more than she could say.

“We are knee deep without a plea”

Alec wandered the streets aimlessly, as if in a daze, the sinking feeling that had set on him since the moment he had realized, clawing at his insides non-stop. His sister’s comforting words had worked only for a short while, but, as the hungry tangle in his stomach slowly made its presence felt again, her advice had started to sound more and more impossible.

Why had he let Izzy see him like that in the first place?

After he had come out of the Seelie realm, not remembering in the slightest how he had got there, the sight in front of him – the lively and colorful park, the clueless passersby carelessly enjoying their everyday life – had felt so intensely separate from himself, more than it ever did. Where could he go among them, that would’ve helped him get his mind out of its feverish, panicked state?

Izzy had seemed as the most obvious, the safest answer. Izzy wouldn’t judge him, she would still love and support him, no matter how much he actually deserved it…feeling embarrassed in front of her was needless at this point. She had been there for him in this mess from the start, and he couldn’t help but hope she would be able to give some sense to the chaos around and within him.

He had felt, marginally, better, knowing that there was at least one person in his life he hadn’t irremediably disappointed and driven away. Nonetheless, he had already known she couldn’t do more than hold – or try to hold – his pieces together. The situation didn’t change.

Cause how could burying all that had resurfaced, which had caused all of this, be anything but good?

So, there he was now, desperately trying to forget, yet incapable of tuning out the memories that were still so fresh and vivid in his mind, as he barely noticed the roads he was taking or the people he passed, invisible and unnoticed. Like he had wished all his life to be as it came to the very thing that had just been shoved in his face that day…

Closing his eyes was a mistake. He could still see the scene, as clearly as it had happened, replaying in his head over and over again.

How the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind until it was too late…

How he had stood there, frozen, as a wave of all the feelings he had tried to repress and ignore all his life had come crushing down on him with a vengeance, smirking cruelly at him, making him realize exactly what he had to do…

How he had felt disgusted by himself when that hideous part of him rose to the occasion, claiming yes, take this moment, your one and only chance, make it worth it (and he had, by the Angel, he had), and, beyond all the humiliation, he had felt this fire inside of him, burning him with the strength to cross the distance and…kiss Jace. Really kiss him.

That memory now made him want to just dig a hole and bury himself in it, away from the wrongness of how…right it had felt. The rough yet smooth skin on Jace’s face as he reverently held it in his hands…the way their mouths had just fit together, the taste, the friction, the sensation of it still making him dizzy. He had lost himself to the moment completely, everything else be damned.

And Jace, Jace had kissed him back, he had opened his mouth to him and held him close like a lover would… which didn’t mean much, Alec told himself. There wasn’t much else Jace could’ve done in that moment, as well as the fact that he probably wouldn’t have wanted to hurt Alec’s feelings. He must’ve felt nauseated by it, by him; he just would never admit it to his face. He would be the one, if nobody else, to want to spare Alec that kind of humiliation.

Alec repeated this to himself as if he cared if Jace had or hadn’t liked the kiss; the first option was both impossible and something that wouldn’t change anything; the second was only reasonable. Letting himself fall into a biggest fantasy that he was living in would be his second biggest mistake of the day.

So why was he still doing it, knowing it would cause him only so much more pain when he had to start letting go of these feelings again? He should be doing it already…not thinking about them, not indulging in them, trying instead to fix the mess he had just made. That was the right thing to do.

But one moment held him back, a moment that had stuck with him more than anything else.

When he had opened his eyes as they let each other go, the face in front of him – with those mismatched, unfairly beautiful eyes staring right back at him, the swollen mouth that he had just kissed – had blinded Alec to the point where he could feel himself bleed out of all the…love he had inside. The knowledge that he would now have to lose that forever had caused a lump to form in his throat, that he had unsuccessfully tried to swallow down.

How could that be fixed? How could he face Magnus when he still tasted Jace on his lips and would like to taste him again (and again)? How could he pretend that hadn’t meant anything, when he could feel the opposite deep in his entire being?

Magnus would know the truth, as the Seelie Queen had done. Clearly, his deepest, most secret shame was marked on him like a constantly burning rune, its heat slowly consuming him from the inside-out.

And yet – what would dwell on these feelings bring to? Only more delusions and disappointment. He had known from that start, back when he had chosen to step into the circle of fire with Jace, that he would only end up hurting more people as well as himself.

His future was with Magnus, who he still honestly cared about and with whom he was building a solid relationship that he truly enjoyed. That should be his priority. If he lost that, he would’ve lost something good for nothing.

He would figure out a way to look Jace in the eyes again later…he would figure out how to forget him again later.

“I don’t want to know what it’s like to live without you”

Jace ran all the way back to the Institute, his companions far behind him, yet he still couldn’t catch up with Alec. Once home, he frantically searched for him in all his usual spots where he would go to hide: his room, the rooftop, a few backdoor corridors or empty rooms…he still couldn’t find him. He then turned to his last resort.

“Izzy! Have you seen Alec?” he asked, breathless, as soon as she opened her door.

“Hello to you, too,” she shot back, an eyebrow raised. By her worried look, by the way she took him in – with a hesitant, curious expression – Jace knew that she had seen her brother.

“Is he there with you? I really – really need to talk to him. I don’t know how much he told you…”

“He’s not here, he left a while back. And he told me enough.” Her tone was guarded, yet sympathetic.

“Do you know where–?”

“Listen, Jace,” she interrupted him, widening her door a bit more. “I think you should let him be for now.”

He blinked at her words. “Let him be? He must probably be feeling so bad about things he can’t control right now, he has to know it doesn’t change anything! Or that I – “

These thoughts had plagued him since he had seen Alec run away. His parabatai driving himself crazy over the entire thing, as if he was to blame, doing something stupid to make up for it or something…and the turmoil of emotions that had been coming his way from their shared bond didn’t reassure him one bit.

Jace had to find him. Tell him that he would always be by his side, that he didn’t have to feel ashamed about his feelings…he had known for a while now, and he had never stopped thinking the world of his parabatai. He had, admittedly, thought that they had more or less gone away, considering how happy he had been lately, with Magnus. And they had also never explicitly talked about it. Still, nothing had to change. They were parabatai, by the Angel, and they had been through much worse!

Yet, two piercing eyes at the back of his mind – staring into his soul, all the depth of the emotions in them openly shining through – put a nagging thought in him. How could things stay the same after witnessing, being at the receiving end of, the exact intensity of Alec’s love for him? He felt an ache in his stomach at just the thought.

“That’s exactly part of the problem, Jace,” Izzy cut in, stern, but not unkind. “He just – he needs space. To let what happened go, to let you go…he doesn’t need to know what he already does right now. His feelings…are not just something you can accept and move on from. You…they are a real burden to him! And he can’t deal with it if you’re always there, unaffected by all of it.”

“You think…I’m unaffected?”

To think that what he saw as his way of unburdening his parabatai could be perceived as him being unconcerned, as if he hadn’t as much at stake in their relationship, made him uncharacteristically angry at Izzy.

“I know that this is difficult for him! But I can’t just let him deal with this alone, not when I hurt when he hurts, not when it can drive a wedge between us…forever!” He swallowed hard at that.

“I hear you, Jace.” She put a hand on his shoulder, ignoring his troubled expression. “But if you try to push in, he’ll only push you back further. I’m not saying for much time, but I really think it’s better you left him alone…only until he’s ready to come back to you.” She smiled encouragingly at him, and Jace sighed, his anger fading, resigning to her logic.

Another thing he absolutely didn’t want was overstepping his parabatai’s needs.

“Just tell me – how was he exactly?” he couldn’t stop himself from asking,

Izzy’s smile turned into a sad frown, which told him more than she could say. “Go rest for a while, okay? You look like you need it.”

Jace could only nod and bid her goodnight.

Going to sleep turned out to be more difficult than Jace expected…or as he expected.

Even though at some point, the whirlwind of distressing emotions coming from his parabatai had settled into a subduing sadness, which meant Alec had at least calmed himself enough to not be overwhelmed anymore, Jace still felt worry tightening his stomach. He kept wondering where Alec was, if he had come back, wishing he could go check and talk to him if he was there, but not daring to, not after his conversation with Izzy.

Thus, he was left on his own, and he tossed and turned in his bed, trying to find a comfortable position, when really all he needed was to stop thinking.

Cause now that the immediate problem could not be addressed, and the intensity of the initial humiliation, shock and panic had subsided, Jace had no more excuses to block his own whirlwind of emotions.

The fact of the matter stayed that Alec had kissed him and he…hadn’t disliked it. Which was a euphemism. He had genuinely…actively…enjoyed it.

Of all the years he had grown to know and love Alec, something like this had never occurred to him.

He remembered that time, a few years back, when he had first realized that what Alec felt for him was not entirely brotherly. He had been surprised, but it hadn’t seemed to him like that big of a deal. Sure, that kind of feelings were forbidden for parabatai, but he had personally thought it was only normal to have them. He and Alec were closer than most, so what if Alec had wished they were even closer? He had felt the same for many of the women he had been with. He knew pleasure, he understood sex, he couldn’t very well blame Alec for wanting the same for himself.

But Jace had never really understood anything. His flings had been just that…nothing that seriously mattered to him, nothing that could go against his father’s teachings.

To love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be the one destroyed.

No matter how much he hated to admit it now, Valentine had had that much influence in his life, in his choices, that even now it was hard to let those beliefs go, after they had been ingrained in him so deeply.

Until Clary, he hadn’t dared to let himself feel anything that resembled love, anything that could weaken him or the other person involved.

Except, that he had. He had loved – still loved – someone more than he ever did anybody else. And that person had always been Alec.

When he had first arrived in New York, he had felt himself grow attached to that kid who had welcomed him with a shy smile and an awed look. And he had let him in, he had let Alec see him at his most vulnerable, and in turn Alec had done the same to him. His affection for him eventually arrived at a point where Jace felt like he never would’ve wanted to be parted from Alec, ever. And that had driven him into a panic.

Remembering his pet falcon, the same fear he felt back when he still lived with his father had took ahold of him again. He was letting himself be weak, when all he was supposed to do was train to become the best warrior in existence…and that was when it had occurred to him.

Parabatai draw strength from each other and are the best in battle.

It had been the best, the only acceptable solution to turn around that fatal flaw in his life, and Jace had never looked back.

That was how it had always been: on one end, his bond with Alec, the deepest and most sacred thing in his life; on the other, the concept of ‘love’ he attempted with other people, but that had never really done anything for him. Or that only ended up in disappointment, like with Clary. Those were two things so separate and distinct, irreconcilable in his mind, that having them suddenly collide…had thrown him entirely out of the loop. He felt unhinged, his entire world turned irreversibly upside down.

Cause what if all this time…what if it had always been…what if he had unknowingly but consciously misinterpreted, masked his feelings, especially from himself, to try and put them in a box his father, if not approve, would accept…what if he had put Alec, and himself, through all of this, because he had let Valentine, and his fear of him and his judgment, rule his life…

Cause the truth was, he was now a burden to Alec.

He knew that wasn’t exactly what Izzy had meant, but knowing to be the reason of his parabatai’s distress hurt him profoundly. Feeling that their closeness brought him such pain was reason to doubt anything Jace held dear. Questioning if it might stem all from his own cowardice made him feel sick with himself.

In the end, the only thing he was certain of in those last moments before losing consciousness, swimming in a sea of burning eyes and warm lips, was that he couldn’t, wouldn’t lose Alec.

“Did we ever see it coming?”

It was late in the night, far too late for a visit to be polite, yet Alec couldn’t wait till the morning.

The door opened on its own after only a few knocks. He had thought he would have to beg his way in.

Magnus was on the other side, dressed for the night, a drink in hand Alec already felt guilty about, and a guarded expression on his face. He regarded him as Alec entered, nodding to himself.

“Magnus…” Alec started, a strain in his voice. He didn’t know how to finish. There were no words true enough, beside the truth…and that wasn’t acceptable. “I’m so, so sorry. I–”

“Don’t,” Magnus interrupted him, smiling at him.

Wait, what?

“There is no need for apologies.”

That was the last thing Alec had expected to hear. “But…”

“It was…a blow, for all of us,” his boyfriend continued, undeterred. “Especially you, I see.”

Alec felt far too conscious about his swollen face and shabby attire, but he couldn’t care about himself in that moment.

“It was a blow, but not a shock,” Magnus went on. “Or it shouldn’t have been a shock, you figure? This was the first thing I ever knew about you, beside that you were a good shot,” he hinted at a smirk.

The incident with the memory demon had also been burned into Alec’s mind and soul for all eternity, like this one would be. He didn’t need the reminder. He could painfully see the relevance, however.

“And we all forgot, didn’t we?” Magnus let out a light, bitter chuckle. “But I know, better than most at least, how people and the feelings you have – or had – for them, have the tendency to come back when you least expect it. What matters is how we deal with it.”

Alec took that as his clue. “I know! And I will - this will all be forgotten again, I promise. I – I might still feel something for Jace, but I honestly, genuinely care about you and I want this to continue…”

Magnus smiled again, and there was something sad in his smile.

“Is that really all it is? You ‘feel something’?” he put in, raising an eyebrow.

Alec was left gaping for words, in the desperate search for the right way to explain himself.

“Alexander…”

“Wait! You need to listen, okay, I–”

“Alexander…you don’t have to explain what you feel to me, and you don’t have to forget about it. It’s important that we don’t fool each other.”

“I’m not fooling you…”

Magnus came forward, snapping his drink away, and put his hands gently on his shoulders. Alec felt like he was living a fever dream.

“I know you aren’t, I’m not saying that. I’m saying that what happened today has shown that both of us have things we must deal with on our own. Both of our pasts have been brought up to us again in the most unpleasant of ways…and it’s neither of our faults. Seriously, Alexander, I don’t want you to blame yourself for what happened.”

Alec didn’t know about that. He didn’t know what to think either, what to feel. Should he be relieved? Magnus wasn’t mad at him. But his words…sounded final.

Was he ready to lose Magnus? Could Alec fight for his relationship? Should he? Did he want to fight for it? He had worked so hard to have it, and yet…

Not knowing the answer to either of those questions kind of made the next words simpler to accept.

“Trying to move on from someone with someone else…I’m afraid, it doesn’t really work. All the people involved often end up getting hurt…” Alec lowered his eyes in shame. “And it’s not fair to anyone. Alexander, look at me.”

Alec reluctantly complied. Magnus’s eyes were genuinely full of affection as he looked up at him, and Alec had genuinely grown to love him. Why couldn’t that had been enough?

“This is not goodbye…or it isn’t, necessarily. We’ll still see each other, won’t we? Shadowhunters-Downworlders meetings? And you can always ask for my help, you know that…I might not answer every time, but I’ll always be the High Warlock of Brooklyn and you the Head of the New York Institute. And I’ll always care for you. But I really think we need to take some time apart…and what do you know? If it’s meant to happen, we might find each other again.”

Alec closed his eyes then, as Magnus hugged him. What did they know, indeed?

It was pointless, to say the least, trying to filter all that he was feeling, as he morosely made his way back to the Institute. He had nothing more to do than resign himself to the cloud of foggy, grey sadness so eager to take ahold of his heart. He didn’t think it would ever go away.

So, what now? He couldn’t refrain from asking himself.

Funny, how things worked. If he had known that he would have to face the biggest humiliation of his life, fulfill his deepest desire and lose his boyfriend all in the same day, with one swift move…would the outcome have changed?

Doubting he would like the answer, knowing his miserable, pathetic self had everything coming for him, he mentally prepared himself for the next day when the Cabinet with the Downworlders would take place. It would be a feat in and on itself, but most of all he would have to do his job and act normal all while trying not to instantly implode at the sight of the people who knew.

Jace would be there running security…and Alec still didn’t know how to face him.

#my post #shadowhunters #jalec #jalec fic #my fic #seelie court kiss au #your deepest desires #my writing

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