#was just watching a dbd video and came to a realization

[r3dr0pe]

The Unknown: "Have you seen my dog?"

The dog in question:

[itsxcowboyrocksteady]

Screw it, have some Dwight Fairfield Head Canons

Cuddling with Dwight Both In and Out of The Entity's Realm (SFW)

___________________________________

I had a bit of a rough and hectic day today, so I wanted to jot this down because the idea of snuggling up to him after a long day is really comforting to me 🥰

Head canons under Keep Reading! Written like an x Reader just because.

I should also mention that a general Dbd head canon I have is that The Entity allows the Survivors rest periods. It's not a kindness, it's to make sure the trials are as competitive as possible so it will feel worse when they get sacrificed. So that's how I wrote that.

I'm so sorry if this is sloppy at all, I'm so tired and I have to go to bed >.<

_____________________________________

In the Fog

The first time you have any kind of contact like this with him is when you give him a hug, probably after an especially hard trial.

He feels so warm against you, his breathing is soothing.

Your head is leaning on his chest and you hear his heartbeat quicken.

When he holds you just a bit tighter is when you realize how long it's been since you've had any sort of positive touch.

And you've always thought Dwight was really cute, so this is even better!

After that, you sit beside each other at the campfire as much as you can. Holding onto each other's arms, leaning on each other's shoulders.

And then there came the moment where you suggested you take your rest together instead of going to your own spots like normal.

This man... He smiles at you and he's obviously really happy that you want to cozy up beside him, even though he tries not to show how happy he is.

It's not just that he crushes on you hard though he does it's that he always has trouble sleeping here. He feels cold and empty. He feels truly alone when he's left to just his thoughts.

He always wished someone would offer, even if it was only for their own comfort.

So when it's you that asks? When you explain that you think it would be really nice for both of you?

He says OK a little too enthusiastically and instantly goes red in the face. He's so cute you could just die.

He's something soft and lovely in a place where nothing else is.

You both choose his usual resting spot and snuggle up together.

"Hey, Dwight?"

He's already getting so sleepy, you make him feel so warm and safe.

Yaaaaawn! "Yeah?"

You give him a little kiss on the forehead (he makes a soft "oh?" sound) and say good night.

You close your eyes and cuddle up closer, your head on his shoulder.

He stares at nothing in particular right in front of him with wide eyes for a second.

When he regains his composure, he chances returning your kiss, though his is more awkwardly on the top of your head from the angle you're laying against him.

"Yeah... Good night... Sweet dreams."

He can't see it, but you're smiling peacefully.

It's the best sleep either of you have had in a long time.

_____________________________________

Out of the Fog

You hang out with Dwight a lot, mostly at your place since it's a little bigger and more comfy.

Usually you order takeout and play video games together. Sometimes you watch movies.

You're so into each other and it's obvious to everyone who sees you both together.

Not so obvious to either of you about the other, tho.

You're catching up on a show you both like, that you always try to watch together.

He leans back on the sofa. He looks so cuddly in his sweats and zip up hoodie.

You move over and get cozy right up against him, clutching onto his arm and holding his hand.

He smells so good, you need to ask him what cologne or body spray he uses so you can get it for the holidays.

He's not paying attention to the show, his full focus is on you.

He's so nervous right now, but this is really nice and he's so happy he's here with you and you want to cuddle up with him.

"Hey," he says with a nervous laugh once he gathers up the courage.

You let go of him and look at him, scared you did something wrong or that you made him uncomfortable.

Instead, he puts his newly freed arm around you and pulls you close to him. You put your arm around his torso and hug him back.

You both sit there with silly, giddy smiles on your faces, though neither of you see it because you're looking at the TV even though neither of you are really paying attention.

"So, uh... Was this something you just wanted to do now, or have you wanted to for a while?" he asks.

You can hear how happy he is that you're all cozy together, but you also hear the hope and a tiny bit of fear in his voice, too. It tells you everything you've ever wanted to know. Everything you hoped, yourself.

"I want to cuddle with you every time I see you, Dwight. I really like you. You're so adorable, how can I not?"

He's a blushing, flustered mess. You like him? You think he's adorable?????? Someone pinch him!

"Then, uh... Um... You wouldn't mind if I kissed you?"

"I want you to do that every time I see you, too," you reply.

You're gonna have to restart the episode... Eventually. You're both too preoccupied to care about anything else right now.

[kyotakumrau]

A thread with the 1st slot report from azifxxx, Zepp Tokyo with Kyo and Shinya

F: Hello everyone at Zepp Tokyo! I'm DIR's manager Fujieda.

T: I'm manager Takabayashi.

F: today in Tokyo it's the last day (...) now I'd like to invite two band members to start the talk event! Give them applause!

Shinya arrives, then Kyo.

Kyo wore a black beret and big glasses, blackish grey jacket, some yellow badge on the left side? and grey denim. Shinya (Yamo-chan) wore all black, double jacket? it looked very soft. When entering the stage Kyo did 'Fujifuji pose' to F...

F: today Kyo and Shinya came to the event! How are you doing, the two of you?

S: I'm always fine. 24h a day. Just got bit foolish in Sendai due to snow...

K: yeah... I'm also good...

F: for both of you it's your second time, going straight to the point what's the most impactful/memorable thing in 2020 for you?

S: not COVID?

F: from the band's point of view it is.

S: it didn't feel like being in a band. There were no concerts at all.

F: for you, Kyo? (pretending to eat)

K: PS5.

S: I see.

K: I couldn't get it. That's all I can think about.

S: I want it too, but not that much... can you play Dead by Daylight on PS5? having ps4 edition?

K: you can.

S: then I want it. I also applied for it, but as I wasn't contacted I don't think I won.

F: there's nothing besides PS5?

K: the fan who said in the message they're getting it next day, they are probably playing right now..  I get angry again when I think about it. And not just a bit....(F: what would you do if after you got PS5?) Eh? I have to say it each time？💢 (makes dissatisfied sound and turns away, for a while stays silent) 

F passes them the merch items.

S&K: ... (silently checking the items)

When prompted to say something

S: mini water bottle.. is for when you go out for a bit...

K: is that a pig?

S: it's a bear

But it has 3 fingers? The hoofs? 

S: a bear isn't like that? 

K: but only 3 fingers?! 

K: you draw 3 or 4 fingers for a bear! A horse gets 2! is the claw here (between the fingers?)? the claws come out here (pointing back of the hand)? 

S: there are no fingers there (in the back of the hand) 

K: and it is listening standing in front of the speaker? Its ears will get bad! Listening to such loud sound in front of the speaker! you will go nuts! 

F: so Kyo, you were praising the choker a lot in Osaka. 

K: ... (looks at the choker) ...(starts to tie the choker)...(puts the choker in front of F) 

F: it can be tied up? Is that a good point? Ah, you mean that it can be displayed like this? It's a very popular item so everyone please get one! 

Today there are only two tables, on the right (kamite) sits Shinya with Takabayashi, on the left (shimote) Fujieda with Kyo 

F: any no-no topics for the questions? (S says nothing) I hope it’ going to be interesting... what kind of outfit are you wearing today? 

S: I’m wearing black... the hood is...(hesitates) like Penyu 

K: (smiling😊) 

S: I realized today that it’s like Penyu. Not because Kyo came today as well. 

K: suddenly getting closer, feels bad 

F: Kyo... today you’re also wearing a total outfit idea? 

K: you think there’s a theme? 

F: a bit... like in an older coffee shop.... cafe... like sitting in a coffee shop... 

K: it’s monochrome checkers! 

F who got told it's checkers went 'i see~'

K: what, so today's theme is let's have a smoke or let's go to a cafe?

The usual atmosphere... like Kyo who always corners F until he's lost what to say

Ta chooses a question: 'what's the memorable small (v-kei) venue for the band members?'

S: Area or Cyber recently got closed, right? I really don't remember... didn't we only play at Rock-may-kan? I think no small venues [we played at] are left in Kansai? only Cowboy or Muse Hall.

K: I guess only Rock-may-kan.

Ta: how about for Shibere Bajiru?

K: with going straight to Shibire (like paying too much attention?), is that a shoulder pad. No? I wanted to see~

F: Cyber, Area is a very sad news... K, you don't have any [venues]?

K: not really...

Ta: 'what's the book you've recently read or a movie you've seen?'

S: ehm... nothing much... I also don't really read manga. But I've seen Demon Slayer. I got into it after watching anime.

K: heh, about Demon Slayer, I ordered the comics to be delivered, but only volumes 4~8 came. Am I supposed to start from vol 4? Wouldn't it be horrible? don't wanna start there

K: there's this thing I have, only get into it after it stops being so popular. I also didn't watch yesterday.

F: what kind of books do you read?

K: I read various things ... but I'm really excited about the new story from the Innocent.

Ta: 'what's your kanji of the year?'

S: 心・kokoro from 心夜・Shinya

Ta: isn't that the same every year?

K: for me... nothing really.

Ta: what was it this year (officially)?

S: 密・mitsu・crowd/carefulness, right?

K: (still trying to think) ...nothing really.

F: 'if you were to play on a different position in a band?'

S: by elimination only the guitar is left.

K: not the vocals? You're going for the guitar??

S: I'm not going for the vocals...

K: but you sing in karaoke?

S: I can't sing...

K: there's emotional singing! You're often angry!

S: I haven't gotten angry in 10+ years

K: but you sing the chorus!

S: but there's only short phrase with the chorus...

K: but you're doing lotsa of choruses

S: well... I'm practicing...but vocals are the most impossible for me...

'If you done something else than vocals?'

K: Takumi's position is good, watching the band members from the side, if it's something else than vocals then from the side is good.

S: but you like bass? That's the only idea I have for you.

K: that's only when song writing though!?

S: but you've been playing everywhere, right?

K: where everywhere? I haven't!

S: you have that time... (=sukekiyo)

Ta: aren't we going fast today? 'is there any country you'd like to visit?'

S: if possible I don't want to go...

K: but you're always going somewhere alone. To play board games etc

S: it only happened because I was already going.

Ta: Kyo doesn't want to go like "I'm!Not!Going!"

K: I'm playing a bit online games (Fortnite), but I'm told I suck at it. When you suck at something it's usually better to quit, I'm told so, many times, why is this guy going that way or is he going to the enemy's site on purpose? I'm told things like that from 6:30 in the morning sometimes.

K: if I (my heart) get broken by that how should I continue living?

S: I'm being told 'how are you living?'. I'm using the pig character but it feels like I'm living like a pig. I can block out the talk, but I'd rather hear those terrible opinions.

K: but it's hard

S: it is really hard.

K: when I played with Fujieda it was going well! He told me, get down or make your nose bigger

S: it also went well when we played, don't go there, let's go there and so on.

K: but the fights take about 20 mins in DbD, right? I'm dead in Fortnite in about 10 seconds

Ta: 'what do you like about F?'

S: he's always full of energy and almost never gets sad

K: his nose? Doesn't it get bigger as you look at it?

F: is that a praise?

K: it's easy to breathe and the mask stays on. Hands down it's your nose.

F: 'what song would you like to listen to very loudly?'

S: I'm not good with loud sounds... I prefer to listen quietly.

F: what do you listen to nowadays?

S: our new song(s)

K: I also don't want to listen (loudly), not really...

F: how about a song to listen quietly?

K: nothing special

F: Fujifuji!x

K: (ignoring him) (removes invisible dust from his shoulder)

Ta: 'what would you ask Santa for?'

S: it would be PS5?

K: Me? After all of that, I don't need it anymore, don't come. How does he get inside? There is no chimney. Is he picking a lock? Is Santa like a cockroach? Pretending to be dead when they're not... but maybe Santa is fine with all of that.

K: in the past, when I was in elementary school I was happy when Santa came, but then at some point he stopped coming. Wasn't that a crime (Santa's visits)? and parents also don't know how he comes in, isn't that scary? And from that time he doest come. I don't want him to come anymore.

'What song do you want to play when you can do concerts again?'

S: And Zero. I saod that in Sendai as well, but if it's not mode of Arche we probably won't...

Kyo: I don't really have one..

F: Do you want to play new songs?

K: I haven't listen to it (them). Isn't it how it is that you listen to them even when you weren't planning to? you dot feel like listening so much to the song you made yourself, no?

S: I also haven't listened to the new song(s) much.

Ta: Fujieda is listening to new songs a lot, in a car.

K: isn't that a bit narcissistic?

F: you don't want to perform new songs?

S: I already did while filming the music videos... doesn't that count?

'what time you go to bed and wake up?'

S: I go to bed at 6 and wake up at 1pm. It's my cycle.

K: I go to sleep at 1 and wake up around half nine. Should be around then? So there's someone who wants to know information like this?

F: they want to imagine (their lives)

K: and for what? Even if they know the time they don't know what we do

K: what time you wake up and then what time do you make coffee, make a toast, I don't understand why asking that, what's the point?

F: Shinya, is there something you'd like to know about Kyo?

S: I want to know everything.

K: I hate it that this person is called a doctor.

F: when the band has just started you two have met as first, right? What was your impression then?

S: I thought he's a really good person.

K: ...Oh?

F: And did you hit it off/became friends?

K: he didn't speak like this then. He spoke one or two things a day. He had long black hair and earrings.

S: You've bleached that black hair for me.

K: and, he said 'thank you' but... he said his kanji of the year is 心・heart, but he's the one without one. For over 20 years all band members are saying that he's like a robot or humanoid. When you go to his house he will reply with 'what is it?' with the chain on the door.

S: this is because when a certain member came some things happened...

K: But when I came over I was nice! I want to  visit! Remodel stuff! (with enthusiasm)

S: remodeling... (like the certain member) there are issues like that and that's why you're banned...

'is it weird if your mother comes to the concerts?'

K: isn't it okay?

S: and brings dad...

K: I'd love to see mother headbanging. The deep one when you start from waist!

F: do your parents come to the shows?

S: mine often come.

F: your parents as well, Kyo?

K: sometimes.

F: is it something you welcome?

K: yeah.

And then F asked when they came last time but probably T said nlt to ask something like that

About the avatar Music Clip for the 12/31 stream.

S: the video looks like PS2 game..

K: like that from Virtua Fighter.

The last comments

Shinya: Thank you for today. I think we won't be able to meet for a while, but there will be the nye stream and also a knot calendars, I hope you will spend the next year using them. Let's meet again.

Kyo: We couldn't meet at all this year, but after this long time seeing everyone's faces I calm down. I think it's a good thing. Everyone knows through social media what others are doing, but it is important to meet in person. We will be looking into concert plans, hope you stay tuned and thank you.

[dweetwise]

Hello! I really like your headcanons and writing! Is it okay if I can request some of your favorite killers(possibly the doctor to :P)with a new survivor reader that breaks the fourth wall/always challenging the entity? If that's okay? If not it's fine, love your blog!

[tysm that means a lot 😳 wraith is my fave so i did him and doc, hope it’s ok ❤️]

reader is a veteran dbd player who gets yoinked into the realm

Philip X meta survivor reader

Philip always feels sorry for any new survivors that get dragged into the realm and he tries to go easy on them

That’s why it surprises him when you don’t even seem scared, just sighing in annoyance whenever he finds you before giving him a run for his money

He can’t quite wrap his head around how you always seem to know the right path to a pallet or window

“Dude that’s a mindgameable pallet, just bloodlust it,” you’ll say him when he breaks another of the pallets you were looping. He tilts his head in confusion; are you giving him advice?

He finally manages to down you with a lunge through a window. “Fucking dedicated servers!”

He’s both impressed by your skill and concerned for your mental health. You’re babbling absolute nonsense sometimes and Philip deduces the shock of the realm has been too much for you and you’re having a mental breakdown

From that point on he refuses to kill you, even when you try to egg him on. He encourages you to “talk to your fellow survivors because you’re clearly ill”. Your face scrunches up in confusion before you’re barking out a laugh and spilling the beans about why you know more than he does

Philip humors you by listening, but doesn’t believe a word you say about survivors and killers alike being controlled through computers

It becomes a regular thing for him to seek you out, offering an ear to your wild tales. He still doesn’t believe you, but starts “accepting” your theories and rage for the entity as a healthy coping mechanism. Plus he enjoys just spending time with you

Philip starts crushing hard and you’re surprised to realize you feel the same way, as falling in love was the absolute last thing on your priority list when getting sucked into the realm. You have to make the first move because he’s one shy boi

He worries and frets like no tomorrow. When you start getting bolder and challenge the Entity more openly, he’s scared of how you’ll be punished. He refuses to help you in your mission, which causes a couple of fights between you, but you eventually realize he’s just trying to protect you

Philip starts adopting some of your terminology. He lands a hit on Feng when she’s already mostly over the pallet, offering a gleeful “Get dedicated!”. He spots you peeking out from behind a wall, flashlight in hand. “Did I say that right??” he asks nervously. You laugh and nod, and he smiles before going to Feng’s side of the pallet so you can do the “CJ tech” on him and save her

He just shakes his head fondly when a confused Rin tells him you came up to her in a trial, pointing right in her face, yelling “Hey! Hey you! Fat 14-year-old kid tryharding with Spirit! I see you! Get a fucking life!”

He adores you so so much, quirks and all. He eventually starts entertaining the idea that you’re telling the truth, reluctantly stating that “If anyone is going to get us out of here, it’s going to be you."

Herman X meta survivor reader

Herman is the opposite of Philip: he sees a new survivor and gets giddy. Murder time!

You proceed to lead him on a three-gen chase and he grows increasingly frustrated. He refuses to lose to a complete beginner!

He finally downs you when you mistime a vault, standing over your body and laughing maniacally

“Nice tunnel, loser,” you spit, grinning as another gen goes off in the distance

Herman isn’t too bothered. He has NOED, but you can’t possibly know that. He hooks you and goes to kick a gen on the other side of the map

He has two survivors hooked and is chasing a third. He giggles in glee as the last generator pops, relishing in your mistake. You didn’t go for the saves, opting to rush the gens instead, and now he has access to NOED and is going to one shot this Nea before coming for you--

BOOM his totem is cleansed in 10 seconds flat and he lands a wet noodle hit on Nea that only injures her

When you all end up escaping and he’s watching Nea t-bag him in the exit, he doesn’t expect you to fucking slap her. “Knock it off, he had a rough game! GG Doc,” you say before dragging her out through the exit

He starts looking forward to going against you. You clearly know what you’re doing, having access some sort of information he doesn’t. He’s intrigued

One particular match, when you’re the last one alive, he finds you and demands answers

When absurd tales about some sort of video game start pouring out from your mouth, he’s understandably skeptical. “I think you’re just a spy for the Entity,” he accuses. “Give it some thought. Aren’t you supposed to be the smartest one here?” Man, you know just what to say to get on his good side

He eventually buys it and you start plotting together against your eldritch captor. Herman admires your fire and insight and amidst a heated debate one thing leads to another and oop you slept together and now you’re kinda-sorta dating

Herman is not the worrying type, letting you do your own thing and rebel against the Entity. Even when the being starts noticing and begins ‘accidentally’ blocking your window too early or sacrificing you prematurely, he just rejoices because it means that whatever you’re doing is working

As much as Herman likes murder, he goes along with your plan and starts to do these ‘farming’ matches as you call them, even convincing some of the other killers to join. The Entity is pissed, but Herman just flashes the gold emblems he earns from the matches and it’s powerless to do anything

Herman does like you, but first and foremost has his own interests in mind, believing you actually have a shot at beating the Entity and wanting to be in your good graces when the time comes. But hey, at least he’s helping?

[i really struggled with this prompt for some reason, sorry if it’s not v good!]

[renlimotroll]

Darling, my dreams came true

⚠️ Warning: BL/ Personification/ Imagination/ Out of Character/ Cursing ⚠️

Please do not read if you are uncomfortable with boyxboy.

A/N: I wrote this during ungodly hours, so there might be grammar errors. I’m so stressed with work and this happened. This story was born as I was talking to my friends about my MinSiru imagines and listening to Aimer. Also, this is just my imagination, so please don’t take it seriously.

Enjoy! 🤖🐶

Love, Ren 🌻

Summary: When he’s sleep-deprived, Siruko gets weirdly affectionate, especially towards a certain green head. Everyone knows what’s going on, but of course, Siruko is the last to know about his actions and feelings.

Pairing: 🤖🐶

AU where Bintroll are still youtubers but they live in the same house.

(Story continues below)

It was a great day. The sun was shining warmly outside, and Siruko feels well-rested and refreshed. He stretches then gets up, deciding to check his notifications later and get brunch first. He can smell coffee and something delicious coming from the kitchen. With his luck, Mintosu could be cooking curry and wouldn’t that be the best brunch ever.

He doesn’t know why he felt disappointed that it was Ichihachi cooking, but Ichihachi-kun’s pancakes smells and looks really good so he grabs a plate and forks a piece. Siruko wasn’t aware of the knowing eyes that were watching him carefully as he prepares his coffee. Since Siruko seems to be not fully awake yet without coffee, he didn’t notice how Ichihachi, Quartet, Jiraichan and Hakotaro were side-eyeing each other in a silent communication.

After he had at least drank half of his cup and felt more alert, the purplehead finally noticed the weird atmosphere at the dining table. “What?” He asked. Jiraichan was smirking, Quartet was making weird faces, Ichihachi was looking at everywhere but him, and Hakotaro look so done already even though Siruko doesn’t know for the life of him what he has done to earn that exasperated look on his younger brother. It’s way too early for this. “What?? Shouldn’t I be receiving morning greetings instead of… whatever this is??”

“Well, you certainly have a good morning, don’t you?” Jiraichan raised his eyebrows teasingly.

“Chotto, Jiraisan,” Ichihachi warned.

Siruko was bewildered. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing, Siruko-san! Good morning!” Quartet quipped a little too brightly.

Siruko glared at them suspiciously. “Good.. morning.”

“Oh for goodness’ sake!” Hakotaro shook his head and rolled his eyes heavenward. “Niisan, your shirt!”

“Aww there goes our fun.” 🐻

“Way to go Hakotaro.” 🐰

“I wanted to wait and see if Siruko-chan notices it himself.” 🐱

Siruko blinked and followed his younger brother’s words to see.. he was wearing something green. Very green. Something that suspiciously does not belong to him and very particularly belongs to someone else. His face turns bright red like a tomato.

“I-it’s not… I-I’m not… W-we’re not…!” If he could spontaneously combust like a DbD generator with a missed skill check right now, he would. Siruko instantly knew what his friends were thinking and they were wrong!!!… or were they? He’d know if something happened, right? As far as he knows he didn’t really go drinking. He was editing videos and… he does remember Minben-san not letting him drink any more Red Bull, but that was it. He did feel dizzy and queasy yesterday with his migraine, but he didn’t throw up on anyone, right? What the hell happened last night??

Hakotaro rolled his eyes so hard for the second time already even though it’s still early. His older brother was so hopelessly trying to solve what happened that he can practically see equations and formulas appearing from thin air. “Save it Niisan. We all know that–”

“Aaaaah--!” 🐻

“Hakotaro–” 🐰

“Stop–!” 🐱

“When you’re extremely tired, you go to Mintosu-senpai and do… I don’t know what to call that… skinship??” For once, the usually sure-of-himself Hakotaro was at loss for words. “You’re just so affectionate it’s so out-of-character, and you literally have to have some body part of yours touching him! You slump on his back, on his shoulder, on his lap, which, by the way, stopped being funny after the fifth time and just started to become so gross now.”

“F-fifth time??” Siruko definitely did not squeak with a high tone.

Ichihachi cleared his throat. “We stopped counting after the tenth time. And Minben-san always carries you to bed when that happens. He makes a show of complaining about it, but he drops everything he’s doing just to come to your aid.“

“T-t-that..’s n-n-not.. I- uh.. I..”

Jiraichan made sympathetic noises. “If it helps, we’re actually wondering why you can control yourself better when you’re drunk. It only happens when you’re really, really exhausted, like when you’ve stayed up for more than 30 hours.”

“I– what?? S-skinship??”

“You almost punched Quartet-san once because he was trying to make you go to bed and he tried to, and I quote your words, ‘separate Minben-san and I apart!’ ” Ichihachi supplied unhelpfully.

“I– what??” Siruko.exe stopped working and can only ask one-word questions now. It took him a few seconds to process this, and another few to actually believe it. Why are they telling him these... lies?! This can’t be true, right? And why is he only finding out about this now?! Siruko is really starting to re-think considering them his friends, because they’re enjoying this way too much, and they are set on ruining his otherwise perfect morning.

“There goes the bet.” Quartet said nonchalantly, as if talking about the weather.

“BET?? WHAT BET??” Nope, Siruko did not screech. That was a manly scream.

“We guessed you didn’t know you were doing it and we’re right.” Jiraichan explained with a smug smile. “We kinda have a betting pool as to when you’ll realize. Until your dear brother..”

“I’m just sick and tired of this, okay? It’s been a year!” Hakotaro threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. “Niisan, if you like Minben-san so much then just go confess to him!”

‘W-WHAT??! I-I DON’T–“

“Everybody knows, Siruko-san.” Jiraichan informed him mercilessly, like the psycopath he is. “Us, Hanae-san and the others, even the old lady in the market selling fruits. Everyone.” He put his finger to his lips and looked thoughtful. “Except Minben-san.”

“I–what?” Siruko stammered for the third time.

Hakotaro took pity on his brother, who was doing a perfectly good impression of a Magikarp. “We’re just saying, Niisan, this madness has to stop. You turn into a cuddle monster around Minben-san when you’re exhausted, and the poor man gets a heart attack every time you do. It’s driving all of us crazy, so if you really love your otouto, you’ll get over yourself and confess. Or so help me, I’ll find a locker where I can push the both of you in so you can talk about your feelings!”

“I don’t really do that, do I?” Siruko bit his lip worriedly. He went to the house of the one person in this world who wouldn’t betray him, hoping to get some clarity and possibly some remedy for this whole mess.

“Well…” Gzira look pained to admit it. “Remember when I had to stay overnight last week to help you with Hanachan’s video?”

“Yeah?” Siruko bit his nails nervously.

“You were so tired you were mumbling the theme song of Doraemon.”

“So?? That’s not weird, you know?”

There was an awkward pause, before Gzira resumed. “Backwards… you sang it backwards. It was kinda impressive.” Siruko whined like a child upon hearing that. He’s so close to having a mental breakdown. Why didn’t anyone tell him this? Friends, his ass.

“I was honestly worried and I kept telling you to take a rest, and when I woke up the next day I found out you were still awake. I had no idea what to do, you were so stubborn! So I called Hakotaro over. He said, ‘There’s only one solution to this’ then walked out. When he came back, he brought Minben-san with him.”

“Oh no,” Siruko groaned in despair, feeling his whole face and neck burn with humiliation.

“Yeah. Want me to go on?”

“Ugh.”

“You smiled at him so tenderly and hugged him.”

“No. Stop.” Siruko buried his face in his hands.

“And you called him ‘cuddliest robot ever’. And you practically climbed all over him like a koala. It was so weird I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience. Like I wasn’t in the right dimension.”

“Mou, Gzira-kun!” Siruko screamed into his hands. So much for the peace of mind he was hoping for.

“Then he carried you to your bedroom. I don’t know what was weirder, you reverse piggybacking him like a beetle on a tree, or Minben-san actually letting you do that.”

Siruko sulked. No way this happened. Although, there was something he was curious about. “What.. what did he…“ he asked, knowing that Gzira would get his message.

“Okay, don’t freak out, but he did look fond. Like, he liked carrying you to bed. I don’t even think he noticed Hakotaro and I standing awkwardly at the side because he was just looking after you. He even patted your hair. He practically melted when you started nosing his neck.. eww by the way.” Gzira made a face, remembering the scene which seemed so domestic.

“Umm…” Siruko could not believe what he was hearing. He… he did that? And Minben-san… did that?

Gzira continued. “Weirdest experience ever. Hakotaro said it was a regular thing. I got surprised when he said that the only person who could convince you to go to bed when you’re past the 30-hour mark was Minben-san. He even included me on the betting pool.”

“I hate you.” Siruko crossed his arm grumpily.

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t.” He sighed in defeat.

“Look, why don’t you just tell him how you feel? It’s been a year, don’t you think you’ve been harboring these feelings for a long time?”

Siruko can’t even begin to imagine the horror. “No way! Minben-san… he’d never like me that way!”

“Why not?” Gzira challenged.

“You know! I’m just a regular guy! I’m not even good at anything! There’s no reason for him to like me!”

“Siruko-san…” Gzira scolded his friend tenderly. “Stop belittling yourself! You’re the smartest, kindest person I know–okay, well maybe Sensei is that too–but you’re a pretty neat person! Anyone would be lucky to have you!”

“You’re just saying that coz you’re my friend.” The purplehead pursed his lower lip out.

“No, I’m saying it because it’s true. And as your friend, I want you to stop overthinking things and just, just try to tell him what you feel, okay?”

“What… what if he rejects me?” Siruko whispered sadly.

Gzira sighed internally. He loves his friends, but sometimes they’re just… too dense. He just wished this pining would stop so they can all be happy. “You guys are so perfect for each other, you’re both oblivious idiots. Just trust me on this. Minben-san’s got it just as bad for you as you for him.”

Siruko wished he could believe him, but he just can’t. Dreams are just that… dreams. Like fairy tales are fairy tales. There’s no way that Mintosu would fall for him, and even though that thought hurts, it’s the reality. Mintosu liking him was just… a fantasy after all.

Yes, everybody was wrong. Siruko grumpily mashed his keyboard, trying to clear the level on the game he was playing and failing miserably. His character kept on dying, and it’s frustrating. Once his character got stuck somewhere between two walls, he decided to give up and shut down his computer. He stared at the black screen reflecting himself.

There’s no way Minben-san would like him. Look at him. There are big dark circles under his eyes, his hair was always messy, and he’s thin as a tooth pick. He doesn’t go out of his room that much, he’s not even that good in games, and the only thing he’s good at is maybe memory games. That’s so lame, right? Unlike Mintosu’s friend, what was his name again? Akoroshi. Now that is a talented guy. Knows English, good at singing, really good at games. It’s just impossible. That’s why he never confessed. He couldn’t even begin to compare with that guy. And what if Mintosu rejects him? Then the friendship he tried so hard to treasure will be gone, it will be awkward as hell since they are all practically homesharing, and maybe he’ll lose the only connection he has with Mintosu. So no way. He’d never confess.

It was a bit hard to avoid Mintosu because you know, housesharing, but Siruko feels like he’d done a pretty good job. He thinks he’s done really well in monitoring if he’s reaching 30 hours of no sleep or managing his exhaustion levels so that no embarrassing thing could ever happen again. He had to vigilantly avoid doing things that was second nature before, like falling asleep on Minben-san’s shoulder during movie night or hitting each other’s knees while playing Mario Kart, because they were just friends! Only friends! It was probably awkward for Minben-san to help not carry him to bed, and maybe the guy was doing it out of some friendly obligation or guilt, and Siruko never wants to put anyone in a situation like that where one forces his friends to do something for him. He keeps his distance now, toning down his actions to just behind the friendship lines, and plasters a smile on his face while pretending he doesn’t see the confused, slightly hurt looks Mintosu was showing as he avoids him.

It was almost successful and he could probably live like this for the rest of his life (hiding his pain) until his so-called beloved friends, his family even, corners him in the kitchen, the place where it all started. Siruko should seriously consider finding his own place to live.

“You’re being very ridiculous right now Siruko-san, and I don’t have much patience for ridiculousness.” Jiraichan says in a tone that means he’s about to pull out knives from his jacket. Very pointy knives that he likes using. “It’s bad enough the bet was cancelled. That was the only thing keeping me from locking you two in a vault and welding the bolt shut so you two can finally make out.” Siruko flushed red when the images came to mind, but shook his head. It was just a stupid fantasy, it didn’t make his heart clench painfully at all. Nope.

Quartetchi followed up immediately. “Sorry Siruko-san. It was fun when there was a bet in place, but now it’s just annoying. You two are the biggest pair of dense idiots in the world.”

“Look Niisan, before, you and Minben-san just irritated me when you both flirted with–”

“We do not–!!” The older brother interrupted indignantly.

“Yes you do!” Hakotaro almost raised his tone in frustration. “You bicker like an old married couple, and as much as it irritated me to see my Niisan and my senpai flirting but not even knowing they do, now it feels like whatever sanity I still had has just gone and you both are being so… so… gaaah!”

“What Hakotaro means to say is,” Ichihachi tried in a gentle tone, “you guys are playing the biggest game of chicken in the world. It was fun when we could tease you both about it and make money out of your hopeless romantic-ness, but now that we can’t, we need you to get your heads out of your asses and do something about it or we will.” He threatened calmly.

“I don’t know what you guys are talking about!” Siruko raised his arms wildly in desperation, his voice breaking. Why can’t his friends just leave him and his misery alone? “Minben-san and I are just friends! What do you want me to do?!?!”

“Oh my god Siruko-san!” Quartetchi complained. “If I didn’t love you as a friend I’d bash your head in that marble sink! How can you be this dense? Aniki’s been walking around with this sour, grumpy face like someone set his PC on fire, and you’re acting like a hurt puppy! A hurt, cruelly-kicked puppy! This has to stop!”

“Mintosu-san LIKES you, Niisan!” Hakotaro emphasized on the like. “How could you miss that? How do you not see--”

“He doesn’t!” Siruko crossed his arms stubbornly. “He’d never! Why would he–”

“If you finish that self-depreciating sentence, I will take out my mines and let you explode right there!” Jiraichan narrowed his eyes. Siruko gulped.

“Okay, that’s it! I’m done. Guys help me.” Quartet suddenly hauled Siruko’s arms up, and Ichihachi grabbed both his feet and lifted it up. The Bintroll leader yelped in surprise and tried to struggle, but Jiraichan and Hakotaro glared at him with that ‘If looks can kill’ face, and he can’t really do anything, not unless he wants to drop like a sack of potatoes to the floor painfully. Jeez, the grips of these two are so tight!

They dragged him upstairs to Mintosu’s room, where he was streaming APEX. Jiraichan opened the door with a bang so loud Mintosu jumped from his seat and hit his knee on the table. Hakotaro grimaced internally, that looked painful. Mintosu let out a string of profanities that shocked his viewers.

“What the fuck’s goin on??!”

The viewers were all alarmed and the comments flew so fast in the chat stream, all wondering what happened to their favorite green robot gamer. Bloodhound died, and Mintosu had to return to the main screen. Suddenly, a purple blob was dumped into his lap and a scream of pain was heard. Mintosu winced and turned off the mic.

“What the fuck guys?! I told you not to come in when I’m–” oh. Siruko-san. Siruko-san was on his lap, grimacing in pain at being dumped unceremoniously. Mintosu’s brain short-circuited and he could only blink.

“Minben-san, my Niisan likes you. A lot. And we know you like him too. I know you think you’re being subtle when you think Niisan’s not watching, but we’re not idiots like him. We know. Everyone does.”

“I- what…” Mintosu unknowingly echoed Siruko’s words from before.

“Just kiss already you idiots!!” Jiraichan yelled with his high-pitched voice. For all his size, he’s really scary when he’s angry. “C'mon guys, let’s go!” The pink fairy stomped angrily and headed out, while the others followed suit. At least Quartet and Ichihachi had the decency to apologize. Siruko thinks he needs to find new friends, they’re so rude!

Before Hakotaro closed the door, he glared daggers at Mintosu, “Look, I can’t say I like the idea of you making out with Niisan, but you make him happy, so please keep doing so. If you ever hurt my Niisan, I know Limone-sensei and everybody else will help me bury your body where no one can find it.” Mintosu nodded, believing the younger one will totally do that. Siruko flushed red upon hearing his brother’s shovel talk.

"I’m really happy if you guys finally get together, but please remember to get your hands off of each other and keep the PDA to a minimum, at least when I’m around.” And with that, the blonde closed the door. The silence that followed was really uncomfortable, and Siruko prays, Ground, swallow me up!!, wondering if it was possible to die out of humiliation.

“So… umm…” Min-san sees the flow of comments asking where he is out of his peripheral view, but he couldn’t care less, not when the person he’s been crushing on for a long time is blushing so hard on his lap right now, and he looks really adorable. Mintosu had wanted this. For so long. If this is a prank, he’s going to kill those guys. But he wants to believe that maybe, just maybe, he has a chance.

Siruko stubbornly refuses to look at him out of embarrassment, and Mintosu just rolls his eyes, even though he’s flustered too. Whatever, he thinks, because he’s never going to let Siruko go after hearing that. He rearranges him in a more comfortable position and mutters, “Okay, before I start the stream again, I’m gonna get this out. I like you, so fucking much, so after this we’ll talk and maybe get some food. Now, stay still and stay quiet.” Mintosu shakes his head to rid of his jitters, places his fingers on the keyboard and mouse, and turns his mic on. “Sorry bout that minnasan, there was a little bit of a commotion, just the bintroll guys messing around, but everything’s fine now. Really fine!! In fact, I’m feeling so good today, I might even get diamond today! Watch out! Hahahaha!” And the fight is on.

Once or twice, Siruko tries to wriggle his way out, but frankly Mintosu feels very warm around him, and being encased around his arms just makes him feel all sorts of giddy and calm at the same time. Mintosu just growls softly when Siruko tries to move so he gives up and watches his.. wait–are they boyfriends now?– maneuver Bloodhound perfectly and get a few kills. This is so embarrassing but at the same time, it’s all he ever wanted. He’s so happy he could just burst. Part of him wonders if he’s dreaming, but that dump was really painful so this must be real. Mintosu rests his chin on his shoulder, and any disbelief of reality he has disappears quickly, because that weight on his shoulder can’t be fake. Soon Siruko feels very sleepy and warm, and even though his heart still feels like it will burst out of his chest, maybe, just maybe, he can start to believe that Mintosu actually likes him back. Mintosu is actually warm and surprisingly comfortable even though he’s talking gibberish and laughing loudly in his ear, and Siruko starts to nod off against the gamer’s chest a few times. He doesn’t understand why he feels sleepy, but he can just always blame Minben-san later.

He blinks blearily when Minben-san carefully slots him into his bed, and the green guy turns off the lights and covers them with his blankets. It smells like detergent and Mintosu and home, and this isn’t the situation he had always imagined being on Minben-san’s bed, but it’s not that bad especially when Minben-san pulls him in and drapes his arms over him for a cuddle. Minben-san without his glasses always makes the butterflies in his stomach flutter, especially now that they’re so close he can practically feel Minben-san’s warm breath and heart beating loudly in his chest. The thought that Mintosu also feels whatever he is feeling is strange but comforting.

“Minben-san,” he whispers, so as to not disturb the electric peace in the atmosphere of the room, “they said we’re idiots.”

Mintosu chuckles and Siruko really likes it when he does that. “Maybe we are. Is that why Sensei keeps telling us that?”

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s because we’re idiots in another sense.”

“Tashikani.”

“So… you’re not into… Akoroshi-san?”

“What? No way! Yuck! I’ve never been interested in him that way! He’s just my best friend, that’s all.” Mintosu pauses. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“Mmmmmm, maybe...?” Siruko sheepishly mumbles.

“Idiot.” He flicks Siruko’s forehead, resulting into the purplehead pouting cutely. Mintosu thinks he wants to kiss him, but he’s also content with this right now. “It’s you I like. A lot.”

“Why?” Siruko sounded so unsure and lost. Mintosu hates that. He knows that the purplehead tends to be insecure sometimes, which is absolutely absurd. If he could only see that everyone loves him, he would never second-guess himself.

“I just do. Honestly, why wouldn’t anyone? You’re amazing and everything. If anything, I thought you wouldn’t like me.”

Siruko starts to chuckle and Mintosu joins him. “Okay, maybe we really are idiots.”

“Right.”

“And for your information, I like you too. A lot. Actually, maybe I love you.”

Mintosu snorts. “Okay, then ‘maybe’ I love you too.“ Siruko smiles sleepily at that, and Mintosu’s heart skips a beat or two. “You know, you actually told me these a few times before, but I thought you were just being delirious or maybe hallucinating. You’re an idiot who really needs to sleep more.”

“As if you do! You’re just as bad as me, maybe even more!” Siruko wrinkles his nose angrily, and Mintosu thinks cute. “But.. really? I said that? That’s… embarrassing! Why didn’t you say something?”

“Well, I wasn’t gonna take anything your sleep-deprived brain says seriously. Once, you talked about giant ducks and how they’d take over the world one day. You mumble so many weird things, you idiot.”

That… was definitely weird. He can’t really blame his friends for staying away from crazy, sleepy him.

“Plus, well, maybe I like sleepy, idiotic Siruko-san.”

Pink dusted his cheeks. He can’t believe that Minben-san really put up with all of that craziness, but it did lead to this now, and Siruko decides to just stop doubting everything and take whatever happiness he can get. “Whatever. Sleepy Siruko likes you too, so shut up.”

Mintosu huffs, but his fingers run through his purple hair, and that feels really good. Siruko really wants to savour this moment, but his eyes are getting droopy and he doesn’t think he can keep them open.

“Sleep.” Mintosu orders softly.

“Hmmm…” Siruko answers sleepily. “Good night Minben-san.”

Well, what do you know, dreams do come true after all.

It was a great day. The sun was shining warmly outside, and Siruko feels well-rested and refreshed. Mintosu was cooking curry while he was preparing the coffee pot. Nothing really changed after last night, they still bicker a lot and tease each other to death, but this time, there are more leaning-to-each-other and maybe more skinship between them. It was a good morning. The four other Bintroll members were watching the strange love-hate interaction with fond but exasperated eyes.

“Anyone wanna have a bet? I’m betting six months before their first kiss.” 🐻

“C'mon, give them a little credit.” 🐰

“They wouldn’t have made it if Hakotaro didn’t interfere.” 🐱

“Yeah, and I would have won the bet.” 🐻

“No, you wouldn’t!!” 🐰

“Hmm… my bet is a week.” 🐱

“Uh, no way Ichihachi! It took them a year to tell each other that they like each other–actually no, without our help, it would have taken more than a decade! You really think they would kiss in a week?” 🐰

“Yeah! Just place your own bet!” 🐱

“But–” 🐰

Hakotaro drowned them out. Sometimes it’s really tough being the only sane member of this household, but this is family, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s happy as long as everyone is happy, even though everyone is an idiot.

“Finally.” He sighs to himself, seeing his brother and his senpai smiling, and moves to break up the ongoing fight between a kiss that’s really not their business.

It was just a normal brunch in the Bintroll household, but everyone is laughing, and this is happiness. Siruko really appreciates this second family he has, and if he moves to hold Minben-san’s hand under the table, well, sue his boldness.

“Ne~ aishiteru~” he says in his heart.

[A/N: I hope you guys like it! It’s been a year since I last wrote a story and my skills are a bit rusty haha. Also, it’s my first time posting a story on tumblr! It was fun coding but also so frustrating! My good friend cm made the pic! Thanks cm! Visit me on Twitter! Anyway, have a nice day! Panyanyanda!]

🌻

Owari~

[petitelepus]

Hey there! I hope you're doing well! Can I get a match up for a male dbd survivor? I'm a bit of a people pleaser kind of people but I also like do things that benefits me as well. Pink is a color that describes me very well. Lighthearted, happy, and kind. I'm a very loving and affectionate person but I also get very clingy from time to time. I'm good at flirting but I can never do it in the face of the person I like. Behind a screen maybe but not in front of them. Thank you!!

I match you with Jeffrey “Jeff” Johansen!

Jeff was a people pleaser like you. He would try to appeal to his arguing parents’ sympathy by being as kind and well behaved son they could wish for, but his attempts to make his parents make up were left to snow. He was known as the stoic kid and he had nothing against it if it kept bullies and other harmful people from messing with him. Then you came one day and his world went upside down.

You were new to Ormond, brought there by your parents seeking a simple life away from busy city streets so you took an immediate liking to Jeff, but you weren’t bold enough to approach him. So when you saw Jeff sitting behind the counter in video store you had to go in.

“Welcome, can I be an assist to you?” He had asked and you took notice that he was rather cheery. Must have been because it was his first job. You smiled and winked at him. “Yes, I need a good movie recommendation and your number on the bill.”

Jeff took a second look at you. You realized your error. You turned red as a beet and attempted to make a quick excuse to justify your escape but Jeff beat you to it. He smiled, flashing you his white teeth. “Let’s see what I can get to you.”

You two hit off immediately. You would spend time with Jeff in the store and help sometimes because if Jeff got the candy shelves filled earlier the more time he could spend talking with you. You told him you loved the color pink and next time you came over Jeff gifted you with a portrait of you painted only in different shades of pink. You treasured that piece like some people treasured their credits.

Then Jeff’s parents broke up and he was forced to leave Ormond with his mother. You were heartbroken, but you two wanted to make it work. On the day he was destined to leave, you both promised to write and call each other and the next thing you were looking at was Jeff’s mom’s car grow smaller in distance.

When he made it to Winkler the first thing he did was to call you. You didn’t answer, but he didn’t think much of it. You might have been in school. He wrote to you and called, but he heard nothing. With a mournful mind, he came to the conclusion that you must have forgotten him. With you closing him off, he closed you out of his mind with a broken heart and focused on living on.

Little did Jeff know, you went almost the same day to his old workplace to apply for the job so you could buy a used Beetle and drive down to Winkler to surprise Jeff. The owner was happy to hire you since he had seen you help Jeff around the store and you already knew mostly how to run the business when he was gone. You went home with a happy mind and you started to write to Jeff.

That night you went to the grocery store to run an errand and leave the letter into the mailbox but as you soon found out that you were being followed. A dark figure was trailing after you, and first, you think it’s just a coincident so you don’t think much of it. But then the figure picks up speed so you do the same. The figure is gaining up. You took off running and the figure sprints after you. You tried to scream, but no one heard you, all the stores closed hours ago and the streets are dead.

You run to the alley and hide behind a dumpster. You try to make yourself as small as possible and not to make any sound, but that won’t help you when your footprints on the snow lead to your hiding place. A shadow grows and you whimper. The chaser jumps at you...

--and you’re not there.

When you open your eyes you see you’re in the middle of the foggy forest. Everything is blurred in fog until you see light. You get up and follow the light until you come up with other youngsters around a campfire. You got a lot of learning to do.

You don’t know how long you have been in the fog. Long enough to see and meet new survivors and killers. You spend your free time thinking about Jeff. Would he come looking for you? Did he let you go? One day while you’re waiting for the trial to start and a new man emerges from the fog.

He is huge, with big bears and a scar running down his eye. You get up to greet him but the man beats you to it.

He says your name. You tilted your head. Did you know him? Next thing you know, he is hugging you and he is babbling, something about missing you and how he needed you. That’s when you realize it, it’s Jeff.

Apparently, the time had been running in the real-world even if you were taken and Jeff had been living in the real world for years, thinking about you. You’re so taken aback, but you’re so happy it hurts and tears threaten to fall as you throw yourself against Jeff’s chest and cry how you missed him. He lets you and he holds you close like he is afraid that if he lets you go he loses you again. Other survivors watch you two but they give you your privacy.

Neither of you wants to let go, the time spent away from each other making you clingy as fuck. You two have so much to tell and teach each other but now you have all the time between trials to be lovers that were meant to be.

[urchids-blog]

Cthulhu in Space (Part 1)

Hello, im new to posting stuff and this is my first ever post on tumblr. So bare with me as I try to find a decent upload schedule. Also i do more than just D&D stuff, I also stream (mostly Overwatch, but occasionally other games too) come check it out, it’s really funny, apparently, so I’ve been told. https://twitch.tv/urchids 

So this D&D story is heavily home-brewed, I mainly made it for my whole team of new players out of popular vote. They had told me they wanted a custom campaign, before hand, i’d given them a list of options for campaigns to choose from. 2 of those options was a space campaign that I had home-brewed for another set of players, and the other was the Call of Cthulhu set. They saw these two options and had asked if I could make a Cthulhu in Space campaign. I said, “it’d take longer to make, because of the amount of planning I have to come up with a decent home-brew campaign that makes sense.” they all agreed, but sooner than expected we actually started my “Campaign”. Keep in mind a LOT of this campaign is home-brewed so I left a lot of the core elements of D&D out so there was a lot of abuse. Lets Begin!

Our story starts out on a space cruise liner, Like from the movie, “The 5th Element”. This cruise liner was actually disguised as a resort for black market dealers, Pirates, and many different space Mafias. One of our adventures, Echo Mender, a Human Cyborg, was relaxing on the main deck next to the pool, he orders a beer from a moving butler robot. Our 2nd adventurer, [Vector] an Old one (a race here since the beginning of time) Medic, was on the 2nd level overlooking the pool, he was approached by a little girl, they greeted each other, then the little girl pulled out a knife and tried to mug [Vector]. [Vector] or almost retaliated, but a older women, somewhere in her mid 20′s, approached them and escorted the little girl away, probably mother and daughter or Sisters. Vector held the grudge, which is natural after getting a friendly greeting and then almost getting mugged. our 3rd adventurer, [Erik] a Flarian (shorter elf but immune to fire) Tinkerer, was in the bar, ordering shot after shot. 

Then a intercom that shouted out to the whole ship was announced. “Can we get any volunteers to come and help us with a “situation” in the engine room? meet the captain in the helm for further details.” Everyone was either drunk out of their minds or could care less about what was going on, but our adventurers took on the challenge. 1 by 1 the adventurers meet each other in the helm of the ship where the captain stood their, in terror and almost crying. The captain looks up to them and says, “Oh thank goodness! I thought we would never get anyone to help us! Anyway dont mind me, just a nervous captain whose whole ship is a hostage to the villainous scum in the engine room, threatening to blow up the ship if we dont give them 1 billion dollars to them. Oh what am I saying, were all scumbags.” Echo walks up to him and slaps him to knock some sense into him, Critical, His face is red from the hit and assumes a completely different personality, almost flirtatious with echo. Echo backs up, obviously not into that, but still complies to help him with the hostage situation. Erik and Vector, still laughing from the personality switch, also agree to help Echo take on the Terrorists. 

The Captain leads them down a hallway towards the engine room door, 2 negotiators are talking with the Terrorists and 10-12 different guards, all suited to the toe with SWAT like armor are standing close by but out of sight from the Terrorists. The captain stops and tells the group they are negotiating with the Terrorists but the situation has only gotten worst. Erik peaks in, without being noticed, and sees no one, until a random gunshot goes off and one of the negotiators goes down on the ground face first, yellow blood oozing out of his head due to his race. Vector, unfazed from the dead body that lay before them proposes to go through the ventilation system and try to sneak attack them. The group agreed, but none of the guards could come with them, due to the bulkiness of their armor. The captain returned to the helm, to resume captain duty and keep the ship in shape while the situation was resolved. The team began their crawl through the vents, and eventually found themselves above the group of Terrorist. They all wore a wooden mask, each with a small symbol on the left cheek. One stood out from the rest, a man with a mini-gun, his mask was engulfed with the symbol, you almost couldn’t tell it was the same symbol because of the curvature of the mask. The team assumed he was the boss of the group. They attempted to keep moving through the ventilation system until sheer drop lay before them, Vector was the first to drop, Critical Fail. 

He landed on his head, taking only 1 damage (out of 20), he could hear small creaking but didn’t pay too much to mind. next was Echo, he slid down and landed softly, the small creaking a little bit louder, but again no one payed too much attention. Erik drops down as well, the creak still being there. the team soon realized the ventilation system dropped down and was hung in the air by metal bars leading too a dead end. Vector could feel a breeze coming from the dead end, he told his team there was a fan that brought air from the engine room into the ventilation system, wither to cool the massive room, or poor engineer design in the system. Erik used one of his skills, because he was a tinkerer, he could use small spider bots to do various things, including self-destruction for a decent amount of damage, he dropped one down to try and take down a enemy on the left, and tried to snipe another on the right with his laser rifle. He missed with advantage, and soon the guard on the left was taken down, but the guard on right soon alerted everyone around him, and started shooting back up at the ventilation system. all the guards miss their shots but instead hit the bars holding up the ventilation system, soon the whole thing falls down and hits 2 guards who were trying to shoot up at them, killing them instantly. 

Echo emerges from the vent and finds cover, as he’s pelted with lasers and bullets. he takes his cyborg arm and shoots a beam of plasma and completely knocks a guards jaw off, he falls to the ground instantly. Erik emerges and joins Echo, shooting another shot at an unsuspecting guard. Vector, still in the vent is assaulted by a guard coming from behind them. using his high charisma and pure luck roll, he manages to convince the guard to not harm him, and a part of the vent from above drops down onto him, knocking him out. Vector goes to a separate part of the area to find his own cover. What the adventurers couldn’t see while in the vent, was the 2nd use of the engine room, it was also a cargo hold. crates are scattered and stacked on top of each other, each with separate loot or useless junk. The man who is presumed as the boss steps forward and starts shooting his mini-gun at Vector, and his cover. Slowly deteriorating, the cover was giving way until almost none was left, Vector took 3 damage. In an attempt to save his friend, Echo and Erik shot their weapons at the boss, both missing their shots, but the boss switched his attention to them, and starts filling their cover with bullets. In an random attempt to shoot him again, Erik shoots his weapon again, Critical Success. Erik hit him square in the chest, but the boss seemed fine, only a bit staggered. but then a dark plume of smoke emerged from him, and a necklace with a green eye falls out of his shirt. It turns out the necklace is producing the smoke, and a figure, hooded, emerges out of it and then disappears. A 2nd being emerges from it, along with a pack of smaller versions of it, a huge purple lion with quills instead of fur looms over the boss’s head. The Boss looks up and Screams as the beast chomps the top half of his body clean off. Erik, and Echo had no clue what the beast was, but Vector knew exactly what it was. The beast was called a Alpha Rennigan (and no i do not watch Naruto, so I had no clue what this meant when a player pointed this out to me) an extinct beast that used to live on the primal planet Axl. It gathers smaller versions of itself, and formed packs, it would eventually have a pack of up to 20 to 30 Rennigans following it, usually, this one only had 8. The Terrorist, were horrified seeing their leader quickly taken down, by an unknown beast. They quickly evacuated quickly getting shot down by the Captains crew as they came out of the engine room. 

Our team, was left with a group of 8 small Rennigans and a Alpha Rennigan. Will they be able to Defeat the monster? Who was the mysterious figure? Who were the group of terrorist and what was there goal? find out next time...

I hope you enjoyed this First post I’ve ever made, ever on tumblr. and if this post gets some positive reception then i’ll push out the 2nd part really soon (after the holidays of course). Be sure to follow my twitch as well! https://twitch.tv/urchids I’ll try to be more online, than I am now, and expand my arsenal of video games to play (ei. Rust, DBD, and maybe table-top sim with friends to play some D&D, in a simulation. ye.)

 - Urchids, December 23rd 2018

[renlimotroll]

Love by Daylight

Summary: Siruko-san was forced to cosplay as Feng Min for a gaming convention, and there he finds his me-meant-to-be.

Pairing: Limone-Sensei x Siruko 🍋🐶

Warnings: BL, Personification, Out of Character because it’s my imagination, Cursing courtesy of Sensei’s potty mouth, male cosplaying as female character (does this count as crossdressing?)

A/N: This was a prompt given to me by my internet younger sister Aki, who imagined Siruko-san cosplaying as Feng Min. It was too good of a prompt not to write! But I’d like to apologize for the delay; I’ve been writing this since December 1 and I am a professional procrastinator XD 😅. (Please excuse my pun for memento. I like to think I’m funny hahaha 🤣)

The art you’ll see here is made by my beloved friend and babe Sarah. Check out her twitter and instagram here! Thank you so much babe for bringing to life what I’ve just been imagining. 💙💜 (Please don’t repost or grab without permission as a respect for her hard work)

Enjoy~

"I hate you all." Siruko declares angrily while adjusting his clothes with a little more force than necessary. He wants to burn these clothes and maybe hit his 'friends' too.

Who wouldn’t, when they forced him to wear this China dress.

"Siruko-san kawaiiiiii~" Jiraichan squeals and everyone nods, even his younger brother. Siruko feels betrayed.

Today is TGS day. Tokyo Game Show is one of the biggest video-game expo and conventions in all of Japan, held at Chiba. Everyone wanted to go, even Minben-san, and Siruko was the only one who didn't want to. The Bintroll leader knows that he's being a party pooper by refusing, but he hates crowds with a passion. He told them to just go by themselves, but by true Bintroll fashion, they refuse to listen to their leader.

Siruko didn't even realize he was being baited into coming through that stupid bet. They were playing DbD and suddenly Hakotaro (his own brother, nonetheless! traitors, all of them!) made a suggestion that whoever gets memento-ed first should cosplay as their character. Jiraichan added that the loser must come to TGS cosplaying. Naturally, Siruko-san's gamer pride refused to let him back out of the stupid bet, and they even had Ichihachi-kun be the killer. There was no way Siruko will be memento-ed, he thought, and he was confident enough in his DbD skills. There's no way he will lose.

Or so he thought.

"Can you all stop staring at me!! Let's just go!!" Siruko stomps out of the hotel room grumpily, sulking in the entire drive. Thankfully, or maybe they all felt sorry for him, but everyone in Bintroll cosplayed as their mains too, so Siruko wasn't out of place. The Double Morell keeps snickering at him, and Siruko-san glares daggers at them, vowing to never unhook them next time.

Siruko sighs deeply as he begins to see Makuhari Messe. TGS might not be as big as Comiket, but holy shoot this was a lot of people. He doesn't even know why Bintroll wanted to go here--every single one of them are not good with crowds and people in general--but Siruko can admit there's some sort of element of excitement here. There were so many cosplayers and booths filled with merch, action figures, and so many more. It's truly a feast for the eyes and even Siruko starts to look forward to buying something. Maybe new gaming PC gear!

He just hopes he'll be able to survive the crowds. Siruko takes a deep breath and enters the convention hall.

Limone-sensei blinks at the flash of the camera but maintains his smile. The female fans thank him and he thanks them back for supporting his channel. He waves at the limojos and they giggle. Sensei sighs inwardly.

It's his first time attending TGS as an invited participant and not a normal attendee, and even though he's happy that he became famous enough as a game commentator to be invited here, he kinda misses being able to walk around normally without all the people recognizing him. His face is even half-covered with a black mask, and yet people still know it's him. Limone loves interacting with his fans, but being stopped every few meters for a picture is kinda tough.

On his way to the toilet, he sees some men gathered around something. He pays them no mind, but then he hears this.

"I said leave me alone!"

Sensei doesn't know why, it's not even a woman's voice, but it sounded so nervous and desperate that Sensei wants to come to this person's rescue. Upon closer inspection, he sees a person in a (really well-done) Feng Min cosplay, although the bright red China dress kinda clashes with the pretty purple hair tied up in a bun. Sensei can't stop thinking it was really cute, and then finds himself weirded out by the thought of calling a guy cute.

“Ne neesan, just one picture, come on! And maybe your LINE too!” A guy (who’s as ugly as Hillbilly in Sensei’s opinion) invades Feng Min cosplayer’s personal space and Feng Min cosplayer is obviously uncomfortable. Limone doesn’t know why but it makes him seethe in anger. It’s not in his nature to meddle, but a group of guys surrounding and overcrowding someone is not a pleasant sight. 

“Aho janai ka?! I’m a guy!” Sensei is impressed that even though Feng Min cosplayer looks so anxious, he still manages to fight back. “Heh really? You’re cute tho, you’ll do.” Buzoku-no-buzu presses closer to the purple head and gropes his butt, and Feng Min cosplayer squeaks. Sensei’s vision dims and he sees red. His feet bring him forward and he grips the guy's shoulder so hard he crumples down in an attempt to get away from him.

“Get lost.” He says simply, but his fierce eyes tell a different story. The other guys distance themselves immediately upon one look at him. Sensei doesn't wait for a reply and pulls Feng Min cosplayer to his side, staring down the wimps who were clearly more suited to gaming than engaging in real-life fights. At the back of his mind, alarm bells are ringing--he shouldn't be making a scene, especially someone with popularity like him. But Feng Min presses closer to him and he smells good and Sensei couldn’t think straight.

“Chill man, we didn’t know he had a boyfriend. We’ll leave.” One of the smarter idiots surrenders and tugs a complaining buzoku no buzu away, who was itching to take revenge. Sensei rolls his eyes inwardly; Hillbilly wouldn't even last a second if he fought Sensei. The pro-gamer was so worked up with adrenaline he didn't even realize to correct the guy about them being boyfriends. He glowers at them until they leave and disappear, and after that he hopes no one recognizes him. He can already see the tweets: "Limone-Sensei picking fights for his secret lover!" He groans inwardly.

“Ano… you didn’t need to do that, but thank you I guess.” Feng Min cosplayer says reluctantly even though he clearly was relieved, and he plays with his lovely fingers nervously. Sensei sees faint pink dusting his cheeks and has a split-second to think cute before he realizes he himself is blushing too, and he coughs slightly. Thank goodness he has a mask.

“What were you thinking, going to something like this alone, in a cosplay like that nonetheless?! Didn’t you know cosplayers are often harassed like this?! You should’ve at least brought a friend! Bakagayo omae?!” Sensei doesn’t know why he’s scolding this stranger, who in return gets surprised at Sensei’s strict words and squares his shoulders up as if preparing for a fight. “I have friends, okay?! I was just going to the toilet when I got stopped by those weirdos!” Purple head raises his chin defiantly and crosses his arms across his chest grumpily, and even then, at the back of Sensei’s mind, he thinks it’s cute. Sensei blinks, what is wrong with him today?

“Then go with your friends next time!”

“I will!” Feng Min raises his voice in return. “Thank you again and sorry for the trouble!” Feng Min stomps his way to the toilet, not looking sorry at all. Left alone by himself outside the toilet, Sensei shakes his head in disbelief and decides to go to another toilet.

That Feng Min purple head sure is interesting, he thinks, and hopes that he never has to see him again.

Siruko washes his hands in annoyance. What was that all about?! And he was starting to enjoy the convention too! He learns to cope with the crowds and get his anxiety to a manageable level, and with his friends he starts to enjoy looking at what each booth has to offer. He’s even bought some cute DbD stickers from this cute fanartist who was so grateful to have her first sell-out of the day and a comfy Lifeline hoodie he can wear all the time. Save for the crowd, the convention was really fun and nice and he was looking forward to watching some of the events on stage or even look at the indie game developers booth later.

And those weirdos just have to ruin his day! Mou!! He dusts off his China dress as he tries to shake his irritation off. But, in retrospect, the guy who just saved him, he’s kinda hot. His deep sexy voice sounds familiar, but Siruko can’t place where he has heard it. The way he stared down those weirdos even got Siruko’s goosebumps to raise, and even when he was scolding Siruko he kinda liked it. I didn't even get to ask his name, Siruko regrets. He decides to call him ear-piercing oniisan, because he has a gold piercing on his left ear that just makes him more seductive.

He comes out of the toilet back to the place where he last left Bintroll in, only to find no one there. No need to panic, Siruko calms himself. He tries looking around and waiting in the area, hoping that his friends will come back for him. But after a few minutes, no one came. Siruko starts to get restless, fear creeping up his throat and he tries to swallow it down but it’s like glass, and it’s getting hard to breathe.

Suddenly, it occurs to him that he just needs to call them. He pats his pockets for his phone, only to find out he has no pockets. Kuso China dress! Is this why girls always carry purses? Siruko thinks, because dammit why doesn't this cosplay have any pockets! He remembers that his phone is in his red medkit, an accessory to his cosplay, and he gave it to his brother coz he didn’t want it destroyed by bringing it to the toilet. AAAAA what is he gonna do now?!

Someone passes by with a burger in their hands and it smells so good, Siruko’s stomach rumbles loudly. The people walk by in a blur, and suddenly he feels so drained and alone. He finds a spot by the wall and slumps down, hugging his knees as much as his tight China dress allows him to move, hoping one of his friends finds him. Suddenly the crowds are too scary, and he can feel his panic rise up. What if they don't find him? How will he get home? Why are there so many people?!?!

He doesn't realize that he’s been spacing out until his view darkens, and he looks up to realize that someone was standing in front of him. Siruko looks up and sees ear-piercing oniisan, and it feels like he’s talking to him but Siruko can’t process anything he says. His chest hurts and it feels like an anaconda has been squeezing his body and there’s the sound of wind rushing in his ears. Ear-piercing oniisan crouches in front of him and tells him to breathe, to follow him… inhale… exhale.. Inhale… exhale…

“Oi. Oi. Daijoubu ka teme?” The voice snaps him awake, and Siruko responds, albeit too late.

“Hai?”

Ear-piercing oniisan sighs in relief, and Siruko realizes he was almost on the verge of a panic attack earlier and this handsome stranger had just helped him out of it. He didn't even realize there were tears pooling at the corner of his eyes, although thankfully they didn’t fall down. He blinks them away and tries to breathe properly again.

“Um…..” he tries, avoiding eye contact with the stranger who had just saved him twice now. Siruko clears his throat.

“What the hell are you doing here, alone again?! Where are your friends?!” 

Why does a stranger scolding him make him feel calm? Siruko forgets his anxiety and relaxes immediately.  “I don’t know. When I came back, they weren't here. They have my phone so I couldn't contact them.”

Ear-piercing oniisan huffs. “Bakagayo. You should always bring your phone and wallet. Seriously, are you a kid?”

Siruko tries to pout in protest, but then his stomach rumbles loudly again. Heat floods his cheeks and he looks away in embarrassment. Is it possible for the ground to swallow him up right now? Entity-sama! Please take me! Siruko begs in his imagination.

He thinks he hears ear-piercing oniisan laugh but it might be his imagination, because suddenly handsome oniisan stands up and offers him a hand. Siruko stares at it (and thinks, wow, it’s so pretty, how does a man have hands as pretty as this?) and ear-piercing oniisan rolls his (really beautiful) ocean eyes and moves his hand in a gesture that means he wants Siruko to stand up.

Siruko feels silly and takes the hand (and somehow his stomach flutters but not because of hunger) and ear-piercing oniisan helps him up and tugs him to somewhere. “Ne, where are we going?” He tries to ask. “I don’t even know your name.”

Ear-piercing oniisan looks back at him and smirks, and holy shit Siruko’s heart clenches. What the heck?! “Just call me Sensei.” Ear-piercing oniisan replies, and somehow the nickname fits him. Siruko doesn't know why but he trusts Sensei. At the very least, there’s only maybe 4% chance he’ll be taken to a yakuza hideout or something.

Sensei stops in front of a food cart and the smell of yakisoba cooking hits Siruko’s nose. Sensei greets the ojiisan like a friend and the ojiisan laughs, pleased to see Sensei. Ojiisan packs two big boxes into a plastic bag and hands it to Sensei, winking at Siruko. “Enjoy your date Sensei!” Ojiisan calls loudly while laughing and Sensei tells him “Uruse na!” but he’s also laughing. Siruko has a moment to think what kind of relationship they have for Sensei to reply so rudely at the older man but Sensei drags him away and Siruko scrambles to thank the ojiisan and bow. Sensei tugs him again and Siruko realizes they didn't have to wait in line for a long time to get some food (and maybe he saw some people in the queue glaring at them). He’s late in realizing that Ojiisan just said they were on a date… and Sensei didn’t correct him.

(Maybe Sensei… likes him a bit?) (Because he kinda likes Sensei too, maybe)

When Sensei finally stops walking (just when Siruko was about to whine. Sensei walks so fast and he’s wearing these really cool sneakers but Siruko is wearing a dress, you know!! Please be considerate!!), Siruko realizes someone was calling his name. He turns around and sees Quartetchi waving at him a few meters away from them, but since there’s too many people Siruko has to crane his neck to see him and he waves back. Sensei follows his line of vision and lets go of Siruko’s hand (wait, they’ve been holding hands the entire time? aaaaa)

“Ahh good, your friends found you.” Sensei says, but his tone seems to be disappointed. “I have my own event to go to, so please don’t get lost or be harassed again. I don’t have time to babysit you.” Siruko grumbles and complains that it’s not like he wanted those to happen!! Sensei scoffs in response and fishes his yakisoba out of the plastic bag. He pushes the plastic bag of food to Siruko’s hand and leans close to his ear. Siruko feels like all the air has been knocked out of his chest. “Ja na, mata ne.” Then he disappears into the crowd like Wraith turning invisible at the sound of the bell while Siruko tries to reboot his mind which just short-circuited. His heart is beating out loud in his ears. He doesn't know why but he feels like he lost something now that Sensei left. Before he has time to process why he felt that strange feeling even though he just met Sensei, his friends arrive to his spot.

“We finally found you Siruko-san!! Mou where did you go?! Don’t leave on your own like that!” Quartet chides.

“I told you guys I’ll be going to the toilet, and when I came back you all were gone! Mou don’t leave me like that!! I almost panicked!!” 

“Maa maa the important thing is we found him now.” Jiraichan intervenes. “C’mon, let’s go eat lunch! Minben-san’s waiting in line right now so we gotta find a table to eat at.” The pink-haired guy pauses and notices Siruko’s food, then squints at the purple head. “Siruko-san, do you know who you were just with right now?” Jiraichan asks suspiciously.

“Eh? He said his name is Sensei but I don’t… really know…” Siruko trails, noticing the shocked looks of his friends. Jiraichan was the first to react. “EEEHHH?!?! How could you not know him???? Limone-sensei da yo! Limone-sensei!!”

“Dare?” He asks dumbly.

“Niisan, you seriously have no idea? He’s a famous gamer! I watched some of his DbD videos and he’s seriously, insanely good. How could you not know him?”

“NANI?!?! I knew his voice sounded familiar! How could I know, I was too busy being in trouble to remember that!! And I’ve never seen his face!!”

“Well, he doesn’t really show his face much.” Ichihachi agrees. “Wait, what do you mean you got into trouble?”

"N-nothing! Who said I got into trouble??" Siruko sweat-drops. "C’mon, let's just go!! I'm hungry!!" He herds them all away to eat lunch, all the while trying to look back to the sea of strangers in the crowd, wishing he could see Sensei at least one more time.

He never even got to thank Sensei.

Being invited to judge a cosplay contest is a huge honor, and Limone-sensei was really excited about it. Or, at least, he used to be, because now he's pretty distracted with the thoughts of Feng Min cosplayer. He wonders if he plays DbD too, if Feng Min was his main, and suddenly he thinks he would like to play with him someday. Now everytime he sees a Feng Min cosplay he gets sort of excited, but then they don’t have purple hair and he gets disappointed. He tests the guy's name on his lips. Siruko. Sensei thinks it fits the guy and is kinda cute like him. 

The event was about to start soon and he was on the backstage talking to one of the event organizers. Or he pretends to be listening, because Sensei’s mind was wandering back to that voice. He wouldn't mind hearing it again, but in the midst of these many people in the arena, Feng Min cosplayer--no, Siruko-- is just one of those one-moment encounters that'll never happen again. He feels sad about it and he doesn’t know why.

Until he hears that voice again. For a moment he thought it was his imagination, and wonders how weird it was for him to have hallucinations of a voice of someone he just met. But the voice rings out again, and Sensei strains his neck to look everywhere for it, not realizing how rude it must have looked for the event organizer talking to him. Hope rises to his chest, despite him trying not to.

Beautiful purple eyes meet his, and for a moment Sensei is mesmerized, lost and drowning in them. But then he sees they were eyes calling out for help. Sensei excuses himself rather abruptly to the annoyance of the event organizer and stalks forward to Siruko. How can he resist those pleading eyes? He'd do anything in his power not to see those again, because despite his bravado, his online persona of being a badass who can do anything, Limone-sensei is actually a softie, especially for cute things and Feng Mins in distress.

"We don't have any time, Sir. Please go to the backstage!" The fierce-looking, small lady organizer drags Siruko-san to the other side of the stage where the cosplayers are lining up for the competition.

"A-ah! Wait!! I told you I'm not in the cosplay competition! Matte--"

Sensei grabs the shoulder of the small lady, who shoots him a nasty look before realizing who he was. Sensei knows the organizer was just doing her job, but dammit Sensei is annoyed. "Excuse me, I think you got the wrong guy."

Organizer-san takes a double look at Siruko, who withers under the intense scrutiny. He somehow senses that Sensei is in a bad mood as he fiddles with his fingers nervously.

"Wait, you're not Takahiro-san?”

"I've been telling you for the last five minutes!" Siruko tries to shake off the woman's frankly death grip and runs behind Sensei as if taking cover. Sensei glares a little at Siruko as if saying, "You got into trouble again?!" and Siruko scrunches his eyebrows together and purses his lips in indignation, as if protesting that "It wasn't my fault!"

"I assure you, this person is just cosplaying for fun. We're sorry for the trouble." He forces Siruko-san to bow together with him, and the event organizer-san apologizes too, although she really looked stressed about finding the missing cosplayer. But Sensei doesn’t feel sorry for her; blame his lack of anger-management control. He’s too keyed up now, and everything is too sharp, and he doesn’t understand his feelings.

Sensei snatches Siruko's arm and drags him to the nearest corner, as private as the backstage could allow them to be. He's really pissed that all these bad things keep on happening to Siruko-san. It's frustrating and infuriating! Why was the world so out to give trouble to Siruko-san?! What if he wasn't there to save Siruko-san?! He remembers the blank look Siruko-san had earlier, when he found him beside the wall, gasping for air and trying so hard to breathe, and Limone hated that. He never wants to see Siruko's pretty purple eyes being so helpless and scared. His anger bubbles up like steam and he wants to lash out at something.

“Itetete Sense----!! Stop pulling me!”

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Sensei shouts, and Siruko stills. “Didn't I tell you not to make any more trouble?! What would you do if you were suddenly shoved onto the stage?! Don't you know how big this event is?! People would boo you out there and there’ll be pictures of you all over the internet and they’d make fun of you--”

“But it’s not my fault--” Siruko tries to protest.

“But you still should have been careful! I can't come to rescue you all the damn time! It’s like you’re looking for trouble just to see me! In that case, I don't ever want to see you again!”

Sensei freezes. It’s not what he wanted to say at all, but the damage has been done. He sees Siruko’s hurt look and he stiffens. In his frustration and anger, he took it out on the very thing he wanted to protect. He sees Siruko’s face close off and become distant, and he wants to take back the words, to apologize. “I- I didn’t mean--”

“I actually just came looking for you to give you this," Siruko thrusts a box to Sensei’s hand. “To thank you. But don't get me wrong, I never asked for your help in the first place. I never wanted ANY of that to happen in the first place. Anyway, thanks for everything. I’m sorry for being just a bother to you.” Siruko bows 90 degrees stiffly and runs, and Sensei tries to catch his hand but he doesn’t reach it and grabs air instead. He's too shocked at himself for saying those mean things and too shocked at seeing himself hurt Siruko-san.

He realizes he still has the box in his hands and he opens it to see a rabbit mask. The one that one of his favorite DBD killers have, which means Siruko knows who he is now. It was thoughtful, really, but right now it’s breaking Sensei’s heart. 

If only someone could shout “Bakagayo!” at him now, because he really messed up.

Siruko wasn’t going to cry, nope. He was a man, goddammit! And it’s not like he and Sensei were friends--they were two strangers who met in a coincidence. So it’s totally understandable that there’s a possibility that Sensei hates him. It was Siruko’s own goddamn fault for thinking he could be friends with Sensei, for his unrealistic expectations that maybe, Sensei would like to hang out with him (that maybe Sensei even liked him).

He reaches his friends and they see that something’s wrong by looking at his face, but since they’re the best people in the world and they’re his friends, no one comments on it. They try to distract him by pointing at interesting booths, and they even get to try some techie stuff and unreleased games even though they had to stand in line for a long time. It was almost fun, if Siruko wasn't distracted with the thought of how painful it was that Sensei never wanted to see him again. He just wants to go back to Tochigi now and maybe never ever leave his bed ever again.

Time passed by really quickly, and before they knew it, it was almost closing time. They were about to leave and go back to the rental car when Ichihachi-kun suddenly tugs him back. Turns out everyone stopped walking while Siruko kept moving forward. Siruko grumbles “What?” a little bit angrily and Ichihachi-kun points him in another direction.

Apparently Sensei’s been calling his name a lot, and now Sensei is wading through this huge mass of people just to get to him.

Siruko wants to ignore him, to just forget about everything and move on. Who was he anyway, to be friends with Sensei, who’s really cool and awesome and famous? Nothing will ever bud in their relationship, so there was no use hoping. Come daylight, they will be just two people who just happened to cross paths in a gaming convention. Nothing more.

But Sensei pushes back with all his might against the angry people who yell at him, and he sees Sensei's bright blue eyes, desperate for a chance to talk to him. And Siruko hates himself a little for not being able to turn him away, because he’s really weak for kind people. And no matter how much Sensei hated him, he finds himself unable to hate Sensei.

Sensei reaches them, gasping for oxygen like he just ran a marathon. People around them get annoyed at them stopping in the middle of the hallway, so they try to move to the side walls. Siruko sees Bintroll instinctively place themselves between him and Sensei, as if telling Sensei that “Nope, we’re not gonna let you hurt Siruko-san again”, and he feels so touched.

“Siruko-san.” Sensei gulps for air then tries, “I was… hoping we could talk… please.”

“Ehhh, I don’t know,” Jiraichan crosses his arms pretending to think, “...tell me, Sensei, why would I let you talk to my friend, hm?”

Sensei looks into Siruko-san’s eyes directly, and Siruko feels it… the sensation of the world being pulled to one person. His cerulean eyes were like magnets, and Siruko finds himself unable to pull away, attracted to it. “Actually, you shouldn't,” Sensei states seriously. “I’ve been a horrible person, and I’d even let all of you punch me right now because I deserve it. But please believe me when I say that I didn’t mean any of what I said. It’s true. I… I’m sorry, Siruko-san.”

And Sensei looks actually sincere. Siruko wants to stay angry for a little bit, but how can he resist an honest apology? He comes forward and makes gestures for his friends to leave them for a bit, that he can handle this. Mou, curse him for having a weakness for ikemen with glasses..

“Okay, you have 5 minutes to talk, then we really need to go back to our hotel. It’s been a long day, and I’m tired.”

“Right, right, of course of course.” Sensei looks flustered as he scratches the back of his neck as he stands awkwardly. "I… I didn't actually think I'd make it past the apology so I got nothing prepared… umm…"

Out of all the things Siruko expects, who would have known that Sensei is actually really very shy? Siruko giggles at the back of his mind. And because, contrary to popular opinion, he can actually be a little shit if he wants to, Siruko replies, "Well if you have nothing to say then I have to go pack my bags, Tochigi is a long way after all…."

Sensei repeats “Tochigi” as if trying to take note of it in his mind then shakes his head, almost raising his hand as if he wants to grab Siruko's hands but decides it was too embarrassing so he drops it. "Ano…. Let's exchange LINE?"

"Are you ordering or asking?"

"Asking?"

"Because you want to talk to me?"

"Yes?"

"Are you asking or answering?"

"Answering."

"And you want to talk to me because?"

"Because…. You're interesting?"

"You sound like you're not sure."

"I AM SURE!"

"THEN ARE YOU ASKING ME OUT?"

"YES!! IM ASKING YOU OUT BAKAGAYO!" Sensei yells, then blinks. Siruko couldn't stop himself anymore and laughs out loud. He wipes the tears in his eyes while holding his stomach. He can tell Sensei is blushing because his ears are red.

"Okay, but only if you beat me and my friends in DbD. What do you say, Sensei?"

And even though he's hiding behind the mask, Siruko knows Sensei is trying hard not to smile right now. Don't ask him how, he just knows. "Oh, it's on! I'd love to hear you scream when I memento you."

"Haha, you wish! You haven't played with me and my friends, you don't know how good we all are. We can fix the generators faster than you can blink, we'll be out in no time."

And Sensei actually laughs, the bastard. "Why don't you show me instead of telling me, Siruko-san." he says in a low dangerous tone, and it makes Siruko shiver in delight.

"I'd love to, Sensei." he whispers back.

Later, much later, after Sensei comes over to their hotel and sets up his laptop on Siruko's bed while all his friends are sprawled all over the floor in varying positions, and they're screaming and laughing and eating pizza and one match became five and suddenly it's dusk and they're all too tired but no one wants to miss Day 2 of the convention so they all go together with bags under their eyes, Siruko decides that may be conventions aren't too bad at all. Heck, even cosplaying as a girl character wasn't that bad, coz he slayed that look. And if it brought him to this moment, where he's dragging Sensei to all these booths amd Sensei rolls his eyes but obliges and he's being ridiculous trying to make Sensei laugh and Sensei, ever the straight man, says he's ridiculous even though he's also smiling, Siruko would gladly cosplay again.

He's being too cheesy, but he does think what's memento-be will be. 

The end.

Omake!!

Two years later.

"I AM NOT WEARING THAT RIDICULOUS THING."

"PLEASE SENSEI, IT'S TOO CUTE!! PLEASE PLEASE JUST THIS ONCE!!"

"I SAID NO!! GO TO HELL!!"

"I'LL GO THERE BECAUSE YOU'RE THERE YOU LITERAL DEMON!! IF YOU DON'T WEAR IT I'M NOT GOING!!"

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE! WE'VE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR MONTHS! IT'S OUR FUCKING ANNIVERSARY GODDAMIT"

"YES AND THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO CELEBRATE IT!! MOUUUUUU YOU'D THINK AFTER ALL THAT SIRUKO-SAN ENDURED, THE LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP, THE MY-BOYFRIEND-IS-TOO-FAMOUS-SO-WE-HAVE-TO-MAKE-OUR-DATES-DISCREET, THE BASHING I GET FROM SOME OF YOUR CRAZIER FANS, YOU’D THINK SIRUKO-SAN DESERVES A REWARD BUT NOOOOO…. MOSHIKASHITTE, ORE NO KOTO KIRAI KA NA….”

“.........”

Siruko tries not to chuckle as his boyfriend, aka Limone-sensei, glares at him through the webcam. He’s playing dirty and Sensei knows it well, but in the end Siruko will win. It’s not his fault Sensei crumbles at the sight of his pien eyes, and he’s not above using it. It’s his perk, and he gotta use it to his advantage. 

“Fuck you.” Which, in Sensei language, means yes. Siruko lets a whoop of joy and Sensei bares his teeth at him like an angry animal. 

“I love you~ See you tomorrow!”

“Go to sleep, bakatare. I love you too.”

After a year of being friends and getting to know each other, and finally, finally Sensei asking him to be his, and them going out for a year, it’s nice. They’ve been through ups and downs, sure, but just like any game, they learn from their mistakes and improve. It wasn’t easy, it never was, but Sensei was the yin to his yang. Where Sensei was cold and easy to get angry, Siruko was warm and quick to forgive. Where Siruko has insecurities and anxieties, Sensei was the confidence that pulls him through and fights the negativity away. It was easier because of that. Even if they’re opposites, they complement each other. They don't even fight about anything, because despite his badass reputation, Sensei is a softie who’s very very weak to Siruko’s attempts at being cute, and Siruko had always been patient and understanding and it was easy for him to accept the downsides of dating someone as famous as Sensei.

And tomorrow, they’ll go back to where it all started, the gaming convention where they met. Siruko was planning to wear Feng Min’s bunny jacket as a lowkey cosplay and Sensei needs to wear that bunny Huntress mask if he values his life, so they can both have something bunny-like and DBD-like. It’s cute and ridiculous, exactly like his relationship with Sensei. Siruko can't help but giddy about it. It’s Love by Daylight after all.

THE END.

[renlimotroll]

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Pairing: Mintosu × Siruko (side), one-sided Limone-sensei x Siruko (main)

Summary: It's not the butterflies that tell Sensei that he's in love. It was the death by a thousand cuts.

Tags: angst, heavy angst!!!, endgame MinSiru wedding, long fic, unrequited love

Warning: BL, Cursing, Imagination, but I like to keep my characterization 80% canon.

Ren's notes:

Before you read this, I want to say that this is Sensei’s POV, so the MinSiru moments will come across as sad and painful. I love Siruko-san, Mintosu-san and Limone-Sensei equally, and this is only just a story, okay? Please come into the story with an open mind and finish it with no attachments. Also, ready your heart.

I woke up at 3am and started writing this because all my best thoughts come at 3am. I was supposed to write cutesy, romantic Christmas stories, but when inspiration hits, it hits. This story is 100% MinSiru because no matter how pseudo-canon LimoSiru is, it's not what people want (wow, bitter Ren is bitter).

This story might be controversial, so I spent a week debating whether to publish it or not, but after all the hard work and me trying to be poetic, it would be a waste to keep it in my folders.

I'd like to thank Taylor Swift for possessing me with her poetic ghost. I listened to "The Moment I Knew", a song about her bf not coming to her birthday party, and was filled with so much angst because it hit home too much.

Please enjoy and don't blame me for your holiday blues!!

This story didn't have a happy ending.

Because the moment Limone-sensei realized he had fallen in love, he knew he was screwed big time. And it won't end well for him. 

But that was okay, because all he wanted was for this person's happiness. This person deserved it more than anyone else in the world, and Limone-sensei will do everything in his power to make sure he gets it.

He being Siruko-san.

He didn’t like them, at first. Limone was a possessive, jealous friend, and when he learned Hana-chan met new gaming friends, his first instinct was to shoot them. But how could anyone not love Siruko-san? He had a beautiful soul, a kindness rare to the human race. Siruko-san was the kind of person who could bring a group of people of different personalities together and make them all get along well. It was really easy to fall for someone like him, and no matter how hard Sensei tried not to, it just happened. 

After that, it was death by a thousand cuts.

The first cut came out when they were shooting a video. He always looked forward to the four of them shooting, because that meant he could see Siruko-san. But something about the Bintroll leader was off, had been off for days actually. Sensei knew because Sensei watches all his live streams when he can, and he was observant. It made Sensei’s heart weak, but because they weren't that close and they didn't have the same level of friendship Siruko had with Mintosu-san, Sensei couldn't just LINE him and say, "Hey, is something wrong with you?" But something happens with the Minecraft trap he was making for Hana-chan, and his first thought was, I can use this as an excuse. So he calls Siruko-san and all is saved, and after that they start to communicate more, outside the games they play for Hana-chan's channel.

Sensei's plan to get closer to Siruko-san fails, because the more time he spends chatting with him, the more he gets to know Siruko-san, the more he falls in love. They text almost everyday; they VC on nights they both couldn't sleep, on days something good happens and they both wanted someone to share it with. And then Sensei realizes something that'll break his heart forever.

One day, after Hana-chan wrapped up the first Atsumori video of them, and Sensei and Siruko moved to private messaging on Discord and continue to chat and talk like they always do after each shoot (sometimes about editing and most times about nothing), Sensei thought it was time.

"Siruko-san."

"Hm?" The purple head answered absent-mindedly. Because they're on a video call, like they've done most times now actually, Sensei could see his beautiful purple eyes fixed on something in his monitor. He's reading the comments on the latest Bintroll video, and Sensei always finds it endearing that he's always liking all the comments. Sensei does read his comments too, but he thinks it's too troublesome to like all of it. It's just not his style.

Sensei decided it's now-or-never. "You like Mintosu-san, don't you?"

Siruko stopped scrolling, eyes shifting to the webcam. Sensei kept a straight face, fakes being detached and indifferent to the reply, but it's something he already knew. He's seen it in the way Siruko-san almost always talks about Mintosu-san when they voice call, in the way that he's always so soft and patient for Mintosu-san. Sensei saw Siruko scrambling for an answer in a panic and took that as a confirmation, even as Siruko-san started to deny it.

"W-what's gotten into you Sense--? O-of course not!! I-what made you say that? Mouuu, is this a prank?? Stop joking with me Sense-- hidoi yo!"

Sensei rolled his eyes for effect, but his chest is heavy with something he can't explain. "You're a fucking idiot. Just spit it out, okay? I know it. Don’t make a fool of me."

"I really dont!" Siruko vehemently opposed it. A moment later, he gave up and sighed in defeat, because Sensei always saw right through him. "I-is it obvious?"

Very, Sensei thought, but instead he went with, "I don't think Mintosu-san knows. That guy is as dense as the air itself."

They fell into silence, and Limone-sensei was very sure right now that Siruko was thinking of the green robot. His heart told him, “No, don't say it, don't do it Limone!!”, but since when has he listened to his heart? So he said to Siruko-san, "You should confess."

"E-EHHHH?!?!"

"Tell him what you feel, Siruko-san."

"I-uhhh… Minben-san is not…. And I c-can't… uuummmmm…."

"Oh for fucks sake! Stop being a fucking coward, okay? If Mintosu-san accepts your feelings, then good. If he rejects you, then you'll learn how to move on. But I won't let you just keep this to yourself." Limone face-palmed himself internally, thinking hard about how he’s such a fucking liar and a hypocrite. The wide, scared puppy eyes Siruko-san is showing melted his heart. It's his weakness. But Sensei never gave in to any of his weaknesses. "I've watched all your videos and we've been friends for a long enough time for me to be sure that you love him, Siruko-san."

"But… but what if Minben-san..." Siruko whispered with this lost, desperate voice, and Sensei gritted his teeth to keep himself from falling apart. He had to do the right thing, even if it meant ruining himself.

"You'll never know if you never try. That's why you need to do something about this, instead of carrying it in your heart all the time. At the very least, it'll give you answers." Siruko looked so unsure, and Sensei knew he's thinking that Minben-san will never like him, that he's thinking bad thoughts about himself, and Sensei won't let Siruko belittle himself again. "Stop overthinking this! It's all in your mind. I said it, didn't I? You'll never know if you never try. Don't make me call Mintosu-san myself and tell him your feelings."

"A-ah!! Okay okay!! I'll… think about it?"

"Fine. I guess that's good enough."

Siruko smiled that sweet, precious smile of his, and usually it warmed Sensei's heart, but today it brought a thousand cuts. "Thank you Sensei."

"Whatever. Now hurry up and finish liking those comments so we can go to sleep."

"But you can sleep! I told you you didn't have to stay up for me!"

"And since when have I ever listened to you?"

"All the time." Siruko muttered, but Sensei heard it, so he faked being insulted with a "HA?!?!" and Siruko laughed (and Sensei loved that laugh), "Nothing, nothing!! Of course you'll do what you want, Sensei, you're badass like that."

"Damn right."

And a week later, Siruko texted him "Sensei, I did it!! Minben-san is my boyfriend now aaaaa!! Thanks so much Senseiiii!! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄"

And Sensei replied "Good for you. Congrats." then went back to bed. Stared at the ceiling for long goddamn hours. He tweeted to his followers that he didn’t feel good so no video today, and turned off his phone.

And it felt like there was a big black hole in his chest. He didn’t get up to eat, he just stared at the ceiling, hating himself for being such a goddamn coward. He finally knew what it felt to be pierced through the chest like those characters in DbD, only his bleeding wasn’t physical, just metaphorical. The pain was real though. So real it cut him open and every breath was hard to get.

The next day, he moved on. Or at least, he pretended he did. One day of moping was enough. He replied "I'm fine" to everyone who texted him even when he's not. He had to be fine. 

It's just death by a thousand cuts after all.

The next time it happened, Sensei had just finished playing a horror game and he felt accomplished. He was about to reward himself with a cookie even though he doesn't really like sweets, when the notification sound for a video call rings. He answered it automatically and he's greeted by a crying mess, and his heart dropped in response.

"Siruko-san?"

He didn't get an answer. Limone tried to make him calm down and breathe, and thankfully Siruko-san listened to him. The poor guy hiccuped and sniffed, and Sensei was already plotting Mintosu's death. He'll make it look like an accident too. One can’t play video games in prison after all.

"*sniff*... we had.. a fight, tente-… He got angry coz he said I was smothering him. I swear I didn't mean to nag, Sensei! I was just worried coz you know!..... Minben-san doesn't keep normal sleeping hours… well, I don't too so I don’t have the right.. but I was just worried, Chenche-!!"

Sensei pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Okay, so maybe he won't kill Mintosu, but he deserves a punch. Maybe two. In times like this Limone wished he could run to Tochigi and comfort Siruko in person. He'd been there once for a business-related meeting, and instead of staying in a hotel, Siruko offered their home. It was a nice trip, and he got to meet Siruko's lovely folks and brother. It made him guilty but also fulfilled for some reason, that he was able to stay in Siruko's house and spend time with him. It was something his internet relationship with Mintosu hasn't had yet at that time.

Forcing himself back to the present, Limone took off his glasses and wiped it with his shirt. Ever since he urged Siruko-san to confess, he became somewhat a confidante to their relationship. Siruko would sometimes share the good stuff but also vent out his frustrations. The positive point of this is that Sensei got to talk to Siruko-san, but it low-key stings as well.

"Siruko-san. You know what you were getting into when you started this relationship. Heck, you know Mintosu-san so well, so you should have known that he loves his freedom. I'm not saying you're wrong for worrying, but Mintosu-san is… well, Mintosu-san after all. I'm sure he can take care of himself."

"I know that." Siruko sulked and pouted and sniffed again. He really should blow his nose. Sensei resisted the urge to wipe his tears from the monitor by clenching his hand under the table.

"Sometimes… sometimes I feel that he's not my boyfriend."

Sensei couldn't help it, but this ugly, dangerous thing called hope arises from the pits of his locked-up emotions that he squishes down every single time. He's only human after all. Limone forced himself to remember who it was that made Siruko-san laugh, who it was that Siruko-san always worried about, who it was that Siruko-san loved, and gods Sensei wished it was him, but it's not.

In his wallowing he didn't realize Siruko-san was still talking, "...and he doesn't even text me good night, and I'm not asking for so much romantic stuff, but would it kill him to at least say he loves me too?"

Siruko stopped, waiting for a reply that Sensei forced through the shards of glasses in his throat. He killed the thought that sprung in his mind, "I'll tell you I love you everyday if you were mine.", and instead he settled for, "No, it wouldn't kill him." 

Sensei continued because he doesn’t hate Mintosu-san. The guy's a good guy, and he can see why Siruko fell for him. Even his annoying sides are endearing. Sensei wanted to defend his side that Siruko-san might have missed.

"But Siruko-san, you knew he wasn't the romantic, hearts-and-roses type of guy, and you fell for him anyway. Don't you think it's a bit unfair of you to expect him to suddenly be a sweet-honey-words kind of guy? If you really wanted things like that, talk to him about it. Guide him through it, coz for all that idiot's bountiful of APEX skills, he sucks when it comes to emotions. Talk to him properly, and maybe back off with the nagging a little bit."

Siruko considered his words and looked thoughtful, and Sensei swallowed the bile coming up his throat, half-wishing they’d break up even though he just helped fix the misunderstanding. Finally, after long minutes of silence, Siruko showed a hint of that really cute, embarrassed smile. "Thanks Sensei. You're really good with advice."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Siruko chuckled a little and Sensei was content with that, he told himself. Just that slight hint that he was able to make Siruko-san feel better was enough. He doesn't want more, he lied to himself. "I might start to call you love-sensei now www. How come you're so good with relationship advice but you don't have a girlfriend? Want me to set up someone for you?"

"Do it and I'll kill you. You're lucky I don't charge you consultation fees."

"Coz you love me~" Siruko sang playfully.

You have no idea, Sensei thought hard. "I'll fucking kill you, bakagayo! Now if you don't have anything else to say, I'm gonna go to sleep."

"It's just 12 midnight! Since when do you sleep so early?"

I actually won’t. I'll lie down and imagine ways I could treat you better than he can, then hate myself for thinking such evil, selfish thoughts. But Sensei replied instead, "I just played a horror game and I went out today, so I'm a bit tired." Sensei knew Siruko-san would feel guilty he disturbed Sensei, that's how well he knew Siruko-san by now, so he followed up immediately. "Shut up, don't apologize. I'd always make time for you, you know that." The teacher said quietly. "We're friends, aren't we?"

Siruko's pretty lips lifted up in one corner wistfully. "Yeah."

The conflict of Sensei liking that smile versus the painful confirmation that they'll only ever be friends clenched Sensei's heart tight. "Then, good night Siruko-san. Ja na, mata ne.”

"Bye bye. Thank you, Sensei."

Sensei lay awake the whole night, until dawn came and the golden rays of the sun filter through his windows. It's like this every time, and Sensei should have been used to it, but he's not. He let the pain wash over him, thinking he might not be a sadist like what people think, but instead he might actually be masochistic.

But he'll be alright. It was just death by a thousand cuts.

The third time, or he's not sure since it's been so long enough that he's not keeping count anymore, it was Siruko-san's birthday. He had just finished streaming Minecraft, and he put the Bintroll stream on background while he got something to drink. He didn't notice at first, but he knew something was wrong. Siruko-san was good at pretending, sometimes too good, so it's no surprise if the listeners didn't hear it, if even his own friends didn't know. But Sensei knew, heard that off-note, that slightly forced laugh, slightly louder, more exaggerated reaction. From the way Bintroll reacted too, they knew it, or at least have noticed it enough, but the show must go on. It's a livestream, and it's an unwritten rule among streamers that no one should break down during that. He knows that Siruko-san is happy, he really is, but something was missing. Or someone.

"Call me when you're done streaming." He typed on LINE, knowing Siruko-san is checking his phone. Not for his message of course. Never for his.

They finished the stream without reading the superchat donation, partly because Siruko-san was tired laughing and talking from the stream, but Sensei knew the other reason. He waits, but he also knew Siruko-san wouldn't call, because he doesn't like imposing on someone, troubling someone for something he thinks he can endure, even if it breaks his heart. He's too kind to do that, even if that was dumb. How many times has Sensei told him it was okay to rant to him, to call him when he's in trouble, or even when he's just bored? How many times has Siruko-san done it too, but each time Sensei has to reassure him that it was okay, he's not disturbing, that Sensei wants to listen to him. Siruko-san is truly dumb and masochistic, keeping everything to himself until he explodes with it, and there will be ugly messy crying and moping for days and drowning in alcohol and not leaving his bed. Sensei knew him too well. And if it was in Sensei's power to, if not protect him from things that can hurt him, then to pick him up when he's down, Sensei will do it, no questions asked.

Maybe Sensei is dumb and masochistic too, he realizes, as he dialed Siruko-san's number.

After 14 rings, during which Sensei is thinking of a hundred and one ways of killing Mintosu even if he has grown to also be close and endeared to the guy thanks to Siruko-san's efforts of getting the three of them to play together, Siruko finally picked up. He's silent, but Sensei knew he's there, and it just meant he wasn't in the mood to talk. Sensei could pick up the low sounds of sniffing and knew he was crying. Damn it. Sensei could take a million broken bones if it was just him, but just a hint of Siruko-san hurting and his knees lose strength.

"What happened." He demanded, but nothing. Silence answered him. Sensei waits and waits and waits. It always took so much coaxing, because no matter how friendly and sunny and cheerful Siruko-san always appears to be, he's an introvert who has insecurities deeper than the ocean and a long list of anxieties making it hard for him to open up sometimes. But Sensei is a patient man. He's already broken the walls Siruko built, passed through the mazes of Siruko's brilliant mind and fragile heart, and if Siruko-san makes more walls, Sensei won't ever be tired of breaking it down. Because beyond those walls is a precious, child-like heart that only wanted to be loved and accepted and happy, and it was very simple to give those things to him. Sensei knew he could give it.

"Minben-san."

"What."

"He…" Sensei sees it without really seeing it. The opening of the waterworks, tears flowing down. "He promised.. he'd come."

And Sensei understood immediately. Goddamnit, that fucking idiot. He could picture Siruko waiting, checking his phone from time to time, waiting for a Discord notification. Smiling and laughing as people wish him happy birthday, and it makes him happy, it really does, but it's different.

"Sensei.. you're really smart, right? You're love-sensei, right? So can you tell me…" Siruko sobbed, breaking Sensei's heart to a million pieces. "...what do you do.. when the one who means the most to you… is the one who didn't show?"

Sensei held his breath. Horror games he can do. Minecraft he can do. This? He doesnt fucking know how to fix this.

"Sensei… thank you by the way… you… you gave me superchat even in the middle of you streaming…You always do that, and it’s really thoughtful...  that was really nice… thank you."

And Siruko dropped the call. Sensei clenched his fist, wanting to punch something. It was 4am, but he moved into motion almost without thought. Bought a train ticket to Tochigi and boarded the first train as soon as the station opened, carrying nothing but his wallet and phone and earpods. It took about two hours, and he stared as the view changed from high-rise skyscrapers to something a little more green, a little more rural. He took a cab to the address he knew so well; he's been here so many times that he's already a familiar face.

"Sensei..?" Hakotaro-san opened the door, surprised, but also relieved. He let him in without so much ado, even though it was too early. Sensei realized it's a Sunday, and it's still breakfast time. It's a weird time to come over a house, but maybe Hakotaro-san has an idea of why he came. He said "ojamashimasu” and took off his shoes.

Papataro and Mamataro were surprised to see him, but they welcomed him with warm smiles, asked him how he'd been, took him to the dining table and forced him to eat breakfast with them. Sensei really likes them--this house, their family--and it makes him miss his own back in Hokkaido. He apologized for coming unannounced and gave them the big cake he bought in haste because it's rude to come to a house without a gift, and they waved him off, telling him it's alright, although Siruko-chan's still in his room, probably still asleep. It's not a surprise to Sensei because he knows Siruko-san doesn't eat breakfast. He chatted with them and felt warm, because they treat him like he's a part of the family too, and Sensei knows where Siruko-san got his kindness from. Siruko and Hakotaro got their looks from their father, but they both got their mother's sweet smile.

He waited in the living room and scratched Baron absently as Hakotaro-san came up to his Niisan's room, and Sensei chuckled when he heard Siruko's loud, panicked shriek. Sensei liked cats more than dogs, but Baron is a good good boy. He's a bit older now so he's calmer and more domestic than most dogs, and Sensei loves his quiet company. Hakotaro-san came again and brought him snacks and a glass of water, and Baron followed his master and jumped on his lap like he's still a puppy even though he's bigger now. They sat in silence, because while they're friendly enough to have exchanged banter or two, Sensei's actually a bit more quieter and serious off the camera, off his online persona. The silence was actually nice, comfortable even, because it gave Sensei time to think and evaluate. Why the hell did he come here so impulsively?

"You would have been better for him, Sensei."

Sensei almost choked on his own spit, actually coughed a bit at that statement, shock covering his face. Hakotaro-san continued to brush Baron's fur as if he just announced the weather and not like he just delivered the finishing blow to Sensei's already pining heart.

"I--uh… what?"

"Don't get me wrong. I love Minben-san too, and I can see how he tries his best to make Niisan happy, and I'm supportive of them. But Minben-san…. He's too independent, too free. Niisan's better off with someone he can spoil but also someone who spoils him. Niisan likes to be needed, but also is needy himself. I know Minben-san is trying, and I know he loves Niisan with all his heart, but if it was you, Sensei, it would have been easier. Less clashing. You're both equals in a sense that Niisan can give and take, that… forgive my Kansai metaphor for the lack of better expression, Niisan can be boke but also tsukkomi. You balance each other in a way."

And the truth is, Sensei did think that too. It's not that Mintosu-san is a bad guy, but he's someone that was already happy and content by playing games, and complicated things like emotions and things like that is not his forte. He's been friends with the guy long enough to know who he actually is even off the camera. Mintosu did not strike him as someone who could be raw and open, which is something you need for a relationship to work. And Mintosu also seemed that kind of guy who would feel confined with the commitments of a relationship.

Mintosu-san is a great guy, a really good person, but he's not a natural lover. He's tough and doesn't mince his words and doesn't do the hearts-and-flowers and the feelings thing, and that's not wrong, but sometimes Sensei thinks he has a better relationship with his fans and listeners than with Siruko-san. He was always more considerate of them, kinder, gentler, and maybe it’s because that kind of human interaction is simpler and easier.

But that doesn't mean Mintosu didn't love Siruko. Heck, it's a testament to how much he loves Siruko-san because he always tries hard to be what he's not. Sensei knew that Mintosu-san tries his best to remember important events, to send gifts and take Siruko out on dates, to be more generous with his I love yous. Mintosu-san is good for Siruko-san; he knows Siruko-san full well and understands every part of him, and they can be a really good team when they try hard enough. They have this shared history that Sensei can't ever replicate. Sensei acknowledged, respected, and supported their relationship with all his being; heck, he's even the one that triggered it into happening. 

And Sensei hated himself everyday for this, but he wished he was Mintosu. That if one thing had been different in this universe, he wished he could have been what Siruko's heart wanted. That he was the one who received Siruko's kind, loving smiles, who got to make love to him, who got to give him the happiness he very much deserved. Limone-sensei would have been so good to Siruko-san, would have given him the attention he craved and the reassurances he needed. He would have been strict to him because Siruko tended to forget everything when he's so addicted to a game, would have crashed his stream to scold him to eat, but he also would have given in to Siruko's whinings, because there's very little Sensei can deny Siruko-san. He already does all of these things, but only as a friend, never more than that. He would have given him the universe if Siruko-san asked for it. 

But Sensei had no time to indulge this self-pity, because his universe came out of the room, covered head to toe with a soft, velvety brown blanket. His beautiful purple eyes were puffy from crying, and he looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep. Sensei wanted to bundle him up and just envelop him in his arms to protect him from anything that might hurt him, but in this universe, he didn't have the right to do that.

"What are you doing here?" Siruko-san pouted. Sensei wondered if he was disappointed that it wasn't his lover that came to surprise him. His voice was hoarse, either from streaming or crying, Sensei didn't know, but he hated it. Hated that he couldn’t take care of Siruko-san the way he wanted to, because in this universe, Siruko’s heart wants what it wants, and that was Mintosu-san. 

"I brought you cake. Happy late birthday."

"I don't like sweet things though." Siruko-san sat between his brother and Sensei and casually placed his head on Sensei's shoulder, because they're close enough friends he could do that. Totally platonic, to Sensei's disappointment, but Sensei let him. That's one thing about Siruko-san, he's clingy and surprisingly craves touch. Sensei draped one arm over him and pats Siruko's shoulder, and he thought about where he finds this easy to do, Mintosu would have been repulsed yet forced to give this level of affection. He felt bad for Mintosu-san, but not that much, because at least Siruko's heart belonged to him.

Sensei rolled his eyes in response. "Yeah, like I didn't know that. It was lemon cake."

Siruko snorted playfully underneath the blanket. "Because it's from you?"

"What else?"

The three of them sat in silence for a while. It should have been weird but it wasn't, at least not to them. Sensei decided to break the silence and finally reveal what he came here for. His exhaustion suddenly washed over him--a few intermittent naps on the train wasn't enough--but he had to do this. He'll never let Siruko-san cry again, not if he can help it.

"Go take a bath and wear some nice clothes, bakatare. We're going somewhere."

Siruko sat up like a puppy who had been called to attention. "Where?"

"To Nara, to Mintosu-san's house."

He saw the hurt and betrayal and refusal in Siruko's eyes, but there was also this hope and desire that made Sensei feel what he's doing is right even though it's not what he wants to do at all. "I-it's okay Sensei," Siruko denied, "I-it's really okay and I… I'm used to this. Minben-san texted me that he forgot and got tired from streaming so he fell asleep, that's all. You don't have to do this and I… I'm fine."

Sensei stared at him hard and Siruko flinched. "There's no reason to go there, and besides, I'm sure he's busy, and--"

"Does there need to be a reason?!" Sensei suddenly raised his voice, and he stilled himself. Sometimes it's so hard to control his emotions, and he's so so angry but he can't be, because there was no black and white here. He can't blame Mintosu for unknowingly hurting Siruko because he had never been that kind of guy anyway, one who prepares romantic stuff to surprise his lover on his special day. It was an honest mistake on his part, and even that was just, so Mintosu. And he also can't blame Siruko-san for this, for expecting something more, because it was his right as a boyfriend, his right to get the simple happiness he wanted. Sensei took a deep breath to calm himself. Here were two people who loved each other but sucked at showing it, and if all they needed was a little push, a little nudge to the right direction, then Sensei was willing to make himself fall apart just so they could both be whole.

"You want to see him, don't you?" Sensei said in a hushed voice. He glanced at Hakotaro-san who didn't interfere and made a reaction, just watching them. "If you want to see him, that's good enough reason, Siruko-san. And when you see each other, you'll fight and be at each other's throat, but also make up and forgive, because you can't let this misunderstanding be unresolved. It'll be a festering wound, and I can only see this incident as something that'll come back and bite you in the future. I know both of you too well because you are my friends. I know you, Siruko-san, that you'll say you're fine now but you'll never forget this, and you'll bring this up against him every time you see the chance, because you were hurt and you'll want him to acknowledge it. And I know Mintosu-san, that he'll get sick of it because he can't tolerate your emotional needs, he'll push you away and turn the blame on you again like he always does, because he has always been a prideful person. And you're both idiots but you're both not wrong for being what you both are. So if I have to drag you to Mintosu-san's house by stuffing all 175cm of you in a suitcase, I swear I will, because you both need to talk."

Siruko freezed, processed everything that Sensei said, and stormed back to his room and shut his door with a loud bang, because for all their silly fighting, Siruko is too similar to Mintosu sometimes, both idiots who likes to bottle their emotions inside of them, and when confronted with it, will run away from it. Hakotaro-san hummed in consideration, making Sensei jump a little because he had honestly forgotten about him.

Sensei cleared his throat. "What?"

"You're right, of course, but I still stand by what I said. Their chemistry is too… explosive, and that can be a good or a bad thing. Their similarities make it stable, but both being water signs, one moment they can be as peaceful as a lake, then the next it's a raging tsunami. Them knowing each other so well works for them, because they have their own level of understanding no one can reach, but that also means they know each other's buttons and what ticks each other off, and they both use it against the other. I don't like that Niisan always has to apologize first and he just goes along with what Minben-san wants so they don't clash, but I also don't like Minben-san being forced to go out of his comfort zone to be this person Niisan needs him to be. Their love can be something so very beautiful, but it can also easily turn into something toxic.

On the other hand, while you and Niisan are very different from each other, it's complementary. What the other lacks, one makes up. People have this misconception that Niisan is outgoing, but he just finds it easier to make friends on the internet. So while you, Sensei, is extroverted, it complements Niisan being introverted. Niisan's patience can keep up with your need to try new things, and your ability to back down works with Niisan's need to be right all the time. You're fire and water and it shouldn't work but it can because you're both emotionally mature and flexible enough to balance each other out."

Sensei didn’t get scared easily, but now he did, because his palms are getting clammy and there might be actual goosebumps at his nape. Was… Hakotaro-san reading his mind? Did Hakotaro-san… know he's been harboring these feelings for his older brother all this time? He knew the younger one had always been observant and intelligent like his Niisan, but to this extent? Sensei resisted the urge to shiver.

"Why… are you telling me this?"

Hakotaro-san shrugged. "No reason. I know Minben-san and Niisan will get through this, especially with you always helping their relationship. I want what's best for my Niisan, but I also want what makes him happy. Give me a moment to talk some sense to him. He'll only go to Nara if you come with him, so, yoroshiku onegaishimasu." Hakotaro-san bowed slightly and Sensei was a second too late to return it, mind reeling from the analysis the blonde just revealed, and by the time he recovered, Hakotaro was already in his brother's room, and he's left alone with Baron and Pii-chan in the living room.

It took everything in Sensei to not get undone in that living room, to kill the rising hope in his heart that maybe, maybe he has a chance. Maybe he should just let this incident go, so that if their relationship sours, Sensei can swoop in and show Siruko-san how to be properly loved and treated. If they break up, Mintosu will be free of this emotion thing that shackles him and do what he loves the most, sometimes more than his own boyfriend, which is gaming, and that would be best for him. And Siruko, sweet, dearest Siruko, won't have to settle with the scraps of affection and attention Mintosu-san gives him, because Sensei can do it. Sensei can come to every one of his birthday stream and be touchy and affectionate and open, and he can love him more than this. 

Gods, he wished he was a horrible enough person so he can be capable of ruining a relationship.

An hour passed, and Hakotaro-san told him his Niisan was calm now, so Sensei entered his room. Siruko, who looks like a burrito with that blanket bundling him, glared angrily at him, but without any heat. Sensei settled on his gaming chair.

"You're mean." And the buriko ojiisan actually stuck his tongue out at him, the nerve.

He's mean?! As if Mintosu didn't bully him every time. Tch. "So?"

"Do you even know how far Tochigi and Nara is? It's like 6 hours away by train."

"And if your dramatic ass didn't throw up a tantrum, we would have been in the train by now."

"See?? Meanie!!" Siruko accused, turning his back to Sensei. "I'm not sure I wanna talk to him. I don't even know what to say to him."

And Sensei thought, this is it. He could say that they didn't have to go, and let this misunderstanding pile up with their other issues until it blows in their face. But he glanced at their rare framed picture on Siruko's desk, with their wide smiles, Mintosu's arm draped over Siruko's shoulder while holding a peace sign and Siruko looking at Mintosu with such adoration in his eyes, and Sensei can’t. 

"I'm sure you can think of something during that stupid 6 hour ride."

And Siruko looked back at him, gave him this soft, grateful smile and said okay, and Sensei tasted cotton balls in his mouth. If only Siruko knew how awful Sensei's thoughts were, he wouldn't be so trusting of him. Sensei's stomach is filled with gravel, and it makes his body heavy and sick with something medicine can’t cure. A martyr, that’s what he was, or a living thing but dead inside. Loving Siruko-san was the most exquisite form of self-destruction.

And in the train ride to Nara, where Siruko spent most of the time sleeping on Sensei's shoulder, Sensei should be feeling happy with this moment of just the two of them. But he didn’t.

It just felt like death by a thousand cuts.

And later, Mintosu, who did this stupid perfect impression of a fish out of the water with his surprise to see them in his apartment, jaw dropped and eyes wide, let them in. Siruko was silent and kept biting his lips, and Mintosu was genuinely confused, and Sensei would like to punch them both and go home. So Sensei acts like a mediator, almost like a marriage counselor, and at first Mintosu and Siruko refuse to let their emotions out, but Sensei shouts at them that he didn't come all the way from Tokyo for this bullshit, so they let their frustrations out and shout at each other, and Mintosu almost storms out in anger but Sensei doesn't let him, and Siruko cries this angry tears but Sensei forces him to calm down, and they both manipulate each other's emotions and are both stubborn and vindictive, but in the end they come to an agreement to be more understanding and more open with their feelings and with a promise to always talk and communicate, and they make up. Sensei faked forgetting to make an important phone call and stepped outside to give them some privacy, because the last thing he needed was to see them kiss in front of him. 

At midnight they went out and ate the best ramen in town and it was really delicious, and they traded jokes and laughed and talked about their favorite things. Sensei slept on the couch while the couple slept in Mintosu's room, and Sensei didn’t really get any sleep, because he's busy trying not to imagine what they must be doing on the other side of the apartment, and hating himself for being unable to be an awful person because once again, he probably has contributed more to this relationship more than any outsider has or needed to, and he tries to be happy for them because they are happy and in love.

Sensei asked the Mintosu's ceiling if he'll be alright and it said, "I don't know."

The last time, it wasn't really the last, but it did feel like the end. It's been more than a year, and one day, as they finished shooting a video, Mintosu DM-ed Sensei.

It's not that unusual, since Mintosu and Sensei did develop their own friendship outside of their collabs, partly because of Siruko. Sensei kind of became their go-to person when they're in trouble with their relationship, and it kills Sensei but also makes him feel like he's not completely a terrible person if he was able to help them out.

It was rare though, for Mintosu to reach out first. So Sensei voice-called him, partly because he wanted to rest his fingers, and partly because he'll be able to hear Mintosu's emotions through his voice.

"Moshi moshi Sensei!"

"Hai hai, mosh mosh, doushita doushita."

"Ano.. I was kind of wondering if… how do you say this… if you had any advice for me..?"

That was weird. Mintosu, unsure of himself? At loss for words? Is there a zombie apocalypse outside his door right now?

"For what?"

"Coz I… um… I'm planning to ask Siruko-san to marry me."

And the world stopped spinning. Time stood still, and the world turned into shades of gray. Sensei’s heart gets caught up in his throat, and his insides were being turned into mush.

"...Sensei?" 

Sensei shook his head to clear his mind, but it's so hard to breathe. He regretted voice calling now, because it's so hard to talk when his throat felt like acid. "C...Congratulations, teme!! W-wow this is such a big.. move, like wow, really. Dude, congrats…"

"Thanks Sensei! You're actually the third person I told, after my family and my best friend. I'm kinda nervous and excited for it!"

"Y-yeah… I bet you are… Listen, can I go to the toilet for a bit?"

"Sure, iterrashai!"

Sensei ran to the toilet and hurled the dinner he ate, his hands shaking. He splashed water on his face to calm himself down. He'd seen this coming, taught himself how to react when he hears the news, trained himself to accept it, but it still came crashing down on him like boulders on a landslide. This was his worst nightmare coming true.

"I’m back."

"Osu!"

"So… advice huh?"

"Yeah! The ring stuff, my bestfriend can take care of that, coz I have zero knowledge in that area hahaha. But I still don't know how to ask him. Should I go for the dinner style? Or the… blegh, ring on champagne thing? Coz I really dont wanna have to, thinking about it makes me puke, blegh."

And Sensei felt horrible for this, he really did, but he told Mintosu… what he let himself imagine in the middle of the night when he lets the devil in him take over, when he would revel in his deepest, darkest fantasies, things he would have done for Siruko-san. How he would have proposed. 

Siruko-san deserved something grand, but also private. Sensei would have made a scavenger hunt for him, but one Siruko can do in his house because he doesn't like going out, so he'll need to ask Hakotaro-san for help. It's perfect for him, since he loves games, and he's good at solving problems and figuring things out. The next puzzle pieces will come from Bintroll, and Siruko-san can VC or chat with them about it. It will give him time to spend with the people he loves the most, and when he looks back at this memory, Siruko-san would love that they were involved. The last puzzle piece would take him to a hotel though, for their privacy. Sensei would have pulled out all stops for him, rose petals and candles everywhere (he leaves this part out because he doesn’t think Mintosu-san will do this, nor does it suit him), and he imagined Siruko-san confused but super touched at the romantic gesture, and then Sensei would come out and give him an embarrassing but heartfelt speech about how much he loves him and wants to spend forever with him, that Siruko was his lifeline (like the character they both like in APEX), that a man like Sensei can only love someone that greatly once, so Siruko was his one and only. Sensei imagined Siruko-san getting a bit emotional with the speech and cracking a joke to lighten the mood, and then he'd fall down on one knee and tell him how he loves everything about Siruko-san, his good leadership and charisma that makes everyone around him respect and treasure him, his supportive side that lifts everyone around him up, and even his demanding, whiny side that makes you wanna scold him but also indulge him. 

And they would have been good for each other. They compensate for what each other doesn't have. They bring out the best in each other. Where Sensei was sometimes emotionally distant, Siruko's empathy and warmth fills that. Where Siruko was full of insecurities and anxieties, Sensei was the confidence and the daring that would support him. They both have a loud personality, which, in a non-arrogant way, has this center-of-attention thing that charms people so well, but also, they both have a side that sometimes hides in the background blending in quietly, and that's what make it's so balanced, because when one roars, the other one knows how to shut up, and vice versa. They can be both assertive and analytical, but they're also both attentive and generous. Sure, they would have had some friction, but they were both understanding enough to have handled it. It would've been sweet, if it could've been him. It would've been fun, if Sensei was the one.

They would have been as natural and beautiful as the purple-blue daybreak sky.

But it wasn't. In this world, it was Mintosu that Siruko wanted and loved. Mintosu who gets to wake up in the morning next to him, who got to cook curry for him and take care of him, who got to hold him in his arms. And they still worked, despite the seemingly destructive fights, because they were proof that if two people tried hard enough, they could make it work. Siruko learned how to assert his opinions and call out Mintosu for his bullshit, and Mintosu learned how to listen and be more showy with his affection. They still have their worse moments, and sometimes they both treat their issues the same way: either pretending it didn't exist even if it bothered them, or giving the other the cold silent treatment, or have screaming fights where they throw their words like knives, and on the worst ones, someone has to interfere, most times (to his agony), it was Sensei who did. But they pulled through by some miracle, and Sensei was happy for them, he really is. They make a good couple when they actually cooperate, and Sensei wouldn’t have approved of any other man other than Mintosu-san for Siruko-san.

And Mintosu-san actually did follow Sensei's advice, to his surprise. Sensei volunteered to make the scavenger hunt for him because that's not Mintosu's strength, but he helped and made an effort to be involved in the process. There were no roses or candles or long speeches, only the few words of: "Siruko-san, I want you to be my partner in everything; in gaming and in life. Marry me." And Siruko didn't believe him at first and thought it was a prank, but when he saw Minben-san was serious for once, he dived into Minben-san's arms and shouted “Yeeees!” And Mintosu-san almost drops the ring but he was able to catch Siruko, and they laughed while their eyes got a bit moist and they spent the whole night reveling in each other's presence and owning each other in all senses. Limone-sensei knew this because they both told him, and he congratulated them sincerely and joked about buying them PC gear for their wedding gift, and later finally let himself cry for the first time.

That was months ago. Sensei's now dusting off his black suit and adjusting his navy blue tie while sitting on his chair, waiting for the wedding ceremony to start. There were two aisles that meet in a center altar, where the officiant is already on standby. Sensei was one of the few lucky people invited in the small ceremony, as usually most people attended the reception instead. Both Mintosu and Siruko wanted him to come, as they said they both owe their relationship to him. Sensei couldn't say no even if he tried, of course. Some good part of him was still proud at what he's done to help, even if his heart dropped to his stomach and shattered to a million pieces at the thought of attending the wedding he very much wanted to be his.

The grooms arrived and walked the aisle, but of course Sensei was only looking at Siruko-san. He was beautiful, with his purple hair combed well and there were no longer dark shadows in his eyes. Not that he has ever been any less beautiful to Sensei, because Sensei found his tired or drunk state equally cute, but this, his wide smile full of nervousness and excitement, his purple eyes shining with glee, it was too much for Sensei, because it wasn't meant for him. He choked on bitter bile and coughed, and beside him Shoichi side-eyed him worriedly. He was the only one who knew, of course. Sensei couldn't have confided in Hanachan; he was already too busy with his own things to think about, and plus, he wouldn’t understand why Sensei backed off. He would have urged Sensei to pursue Siruko-san. Shoichi only knew because he and Sensei went out eating one day and ended up in a bar, and Sensei couldn't hold his alcohol well and accidentally ranted. Shoichi promised he'd never tell anyone, and Sensei knew Shoichi also wanted to ask Sensei why he never tried, but the editor didn’t, only offered silent consolation like a brother. It helped him get through the pain and the heartache, but it never fully healed. This kind of pain lasts a lifetime, because the only love that lasts is unrequited love.

And as they exchanged vows, Sensei tried to let go. He's known for a long time now, what love really means. It meant making difficult, painful choices for the happiness of another person, more than your own. Loving Siruko was the most beautiful and tragic thing he's ever done, but it was okay. He sees Mintosu gaze at Siruko with the same loving eyes he has, and that was good enough. Perhaps such a great love like Sensei had was never meant to be returned, but it will be alright.

And when they kissed, Sensei thought it was okay. People fall in love with people they can't have all the time.

He'll be alright. It was just death by a thousand cuts.

And this story did have a happy ending, just not for him.

The end.

Ren’s RANT that you don’t have to read:

About the story!

Please don't hate Minsan. I love that guy so much and even though him forgetting birthdays is almost a canon-like thing he can do, my good friend Hotaru (who likes to pretend she is Minsan's wife) pointed out that Minben-san doesn't seem like a person who would forget someone's birthday especially if it was someone special to him. He'd most likely buy you a present, although he might forget to give it to you on your actual birthday. 😂😂😂 and that's okay, it was an honest mistake on his part, that's the reason why Sensei wouldn't punch him and Siruko-san forgave him easily. It's just a Minsan thing and I love him.

I also want to point out that Minsan is also emotionally intellectual in a sense that he analyzes feelings and emotions very well, and if you watch his streams he actually has a side to him that's good at self-introspection. We just think he's not the type to show his vulnerable self, and that's why he doesn't really show up much in Bintroll livestreams, because he's more comfortable with gaming than casual chatting, and that's okay. Please don't think I don't ship MinSiru too; I was the biggest MinSiru fan and I still am, and I have probably influenced so many to their ship too. I like their dynamics as well, but as someone who has watched Minben-san for quite a bit of a long time, lately I realized that when it comes to him, Mintosu x Fans are the true canon ship. If you watch his streams closely, you'll know how much he cares about his listeners and really truly genuinely enjoys his interactions with them. He's a complex man; he has different sides of him in the Hanae channel, Bintroll channel, and his own channel, and if you watch him more, you'll fall in love with how close he is to his listeners. That's why I think Mintosu x Fans is canon www (ship MinRen for world peace and clear skin!!) (Ren who imagines herself with Minsan more than Minsan with Siruty)

I see Mintosu as someone who cannot be tied down by a relationship because that’s not him, and that’s okay because you can already see his happiness by gaming, and I love him for that.

This fic is controversial (and that's why it took me a full week to decide whether to publish it) in a sense that I've given some bad points about MinSiru. I did give them some good points, but since it's Sensei POV, it came across as sad. But just because it would be difficult doesn't mean it wouldn't work. Trust me, I'm in a relationship with someone who's almost like Min-san in personality, but we've been together for almost 3 years now. I used to think Siruko-san was a saint for enduring all Mintosu-san's trolls, coz if that was me, I would be annoyed, but there's a reason why Mintosu only does it to Siruko; it's because he's the most comfortable with Siruko3. Siruko-san is patient and understanding enough to deal with Minsan's quirks, and Minsan is also loves his company. They are more similar than people think, and that's why it's easy for them to be in sync. It'll be difficult, but it'll work. Believe me.

LimoSiru rant:

I think I’m getting better at writing angst wwww it’s just sad because if one really watched closely all four channel’s livestreams and videos, they’d see LimoSiru is beautiful too. They may not have had shared history and sexual tension, but it’s obvious how Siruko-san really supports Sensei in everything, and Sensei in return supports Bintroll even if he didn’t have to, and that’s beautiful.

I think part of the reason why I ship LimoSiru is because they make it so easy for me. It's not my fault when they are the ones who make all these cute, flirty interactions. I've started shipping them since the Fall Guys stream and have noticed how incredibly cute their relationship is. Imagine someone crashing your stream because he had this puzzle he couldn’t solve and because you’re so smart, he goes to you instead, not caring if you are currently streaming or if there are fans watching. Like seriously, Sensei, don’t you have friends? Or couldn’t you just LINE Siruko-san afterwards? If it seems like LimoSiru just happened all of a sudden, I assure you it didn’t. It’s always been there, and they started as friends too. It's almost enemies to friends to something more. In the Dedomental video, Mintosu asks Siruko-san where his name came from, although he jokes it’s kinda dirty. If you watch Sensei’s POV, you’ll hear him laugh and say “I think it’s a good name.” Siruko-san always crashes Sensei’s stream and Sensei does the same, and I found it especially cute when Sensei always superchats in Siruko’s birthday stream; first, when he played DbD with them, and on the second, isn’t it cute how he sends superchat while he’s streaming, like he doesn’t have to do that, but he did. Even in the Bintroll 100k stream, he helped them make the DbD minecraft after his own stream, and that was so on-the-spot, and the fact that he did that even though he could have just ended his stream and rested, is very thoughtful. And have you watched that sudden stream that took our wigs off? Bintroll had just received their silver play and moments later Sensei wanted a stream with Siruko-san, when he could have just congratulated them on Twitter or LINE. The conversations, gods they sound like two people who were in the early stages of dating, and it felt like we listeners were third-wheelers. They learned their lesson on stream #2 because the conversations were more proper and they kept themselves in check, but that raw, unfiltered, natural first stream was everything. I’ve always had so little content for LimoSiru and even if they didn’t do that I would have been happy, but now with that big, fat LimoSiru official thumbnail there, I have died and ascended to heaven. (As of the release of this post, they have interacted almost everyday for a week, and I don't know what to do with all these interactions! I've been so used to little content and now I'm just… dead)

But not everyone ships like me, I guess, one who can ship anything and everything equally. At the end of the day, nothing is canon. That’s the real angst in this post, hahahaha. I know the characters in my mind are different from the people who livestreams in real time, no matter how much I always try to keep the characterization close. So let’s just enjoy supporting them in our own ways.

Thank you for reading! I love you~~