#wdym you understood i tried and still try my best not to be a burden to you

[echo-s-land]

My parents know I don't trust them to tell them anything that is wrong/which worries me and that me being the contrary of a needy child when I was, well, a child is - actually - worrying and they're aware why I did it

At least they know that much lol

[nebulae-unravelling]

trying to resolve problems with my mum is like me: hey here’s a compromise to the issue - no one really wins but I’ve tried my best to appease all parties to my own detriment.

my mum: what the fuck this doesn’t help and now impacts the whole family

me: fuck ok *offers over the top plan that really disadvantages me but solves the initial problem in a weird way but it still works* can we try this

my mum: what the fuck that’s too excessive don’t even bother it’s fine I’ll just sort it out myself (you’ve done enough and now I will aggressively do everything myself is unspoken but definitely understood)

me: what the fuck I’ve offered you a solution that helps you and the only one that loses out is me which is fine bcos I made the problem in the first place so just fucking accept that I’m trying to help because I feel bad and also I’m trying to soothe the part of me that feels like I only ever disappoint you and that I’m a burden but I won’t say that bcos that will spark another worse fight and in the end neither of us will say what we mean and probably we’ll both internalise our disappointment towards one another and use this situation as ammunition in a later fight

me: haha yeah wdym do I have a normal relationship with my mother of course I do