#we had a really good middle school principle but she left my last year ugh

[unproduciblesmackdown]

ohh my god all the Dress Code and Gender Norms stuff......for some reason most of our middle school experience seemed to be the most arbitrary shit like another teachers personal vendetta against anyone using a messenger bag. there was like one pair of girls who would do stuff like hold hands but somehow nobody really cared, teacher-wise anyway, maybe because they also had the mutual act between themselves of like "being weird" and always joking with each other, so possibly everyone was just dismissing it as a Weird Joke instead of the gay agenda. i mean even students didn't really care beyond people being like "ugh gay" because our middle school years were right on the cusp of people who used to say "thats gay" as an unironic insult but also kids starting to realize that gay people were real and you didnt have to pretend to think it was a big deal and disgusting and etc. i mean i remember even mostly in elementary school it was the scenario where people understood "gay" as a universal insult before they understood the actual definition and even when they learned what it meant it was more like giggling whispering than anyone on the anti gay warpath. like i think someone tried to tell me what lesbian meant in the hallway in third grade like its a general secret, as a precise parallel to this kid in like first grade saying he knew a bad word and writing a tiny "fuck" on the top of his worksheet to share the knowledge it was a wild time but by middle school none of the students really seemed to care about anything even if there were still shitty undercurrents......nobody even hardly fought or got bullied, when you did you could literally just ignore it fairly easily. and i guess the teachers were mostly just focused on ketchup? like middle school is kind of a formative time both socially and educationally but it also manages to be useless. and then theres high school but you know. my brother is 4 yrs younger and by the time he was like a junior/senior in high school people seemed a lot less shitty about stuff like gender rules and straightness, he was a bi theater-ish kid who took a cosmetology class for fun and he was pretty much straightforward a popular kid the whole time. and i mean he and his friends would independently be texting each other about institutional racism so, despite there still being shitheads obviously the overall quality of the actual students is going up. i honestly think its great that like, for me it seemed like everyone was figuring out they were allowed to not be straight around like mid to late teens, and now people in the earliest teens and even younger are already cool with not being cishet and etc. its the whole thing of like, people pointing out that ppl like to make fun of the Embarrassing Early Teen Blogger who has like twelve terms for their identity, but honestly thats pretty great considering how not-that-long ago ppl in the same age group weren't allowed to have any confidence about their identity, especially if it Deviated From The Norm / proper school guidelines and etc not that people arent still shit and like, especially school staff and rules and grownass adults still being shit about how anything thats not straight and cis and white enough = inappropriate for school and for life, but when it comes to the students themselves in middle school / high school age, i had a pretty Could-Be-A-Lot-Worse experience of people not caring / starting to get an inkling that it was fine if everyone wasnt straight and etc yet still had people saying "thats gay" and thinking it was funny, and the next set of students already seemed a lot better than that, and as far as i can tell its already more common for the preteen/teen people themselves to be even better even sooner. nice if the people like vice principals would change up as often as the student body but the point is that honestly teens are doing great, way better than a lot the people in the age group working at the schools they have to go through anyways. the classic "people are learning things about being people like a decade earlier than they used to and thats great" thing. like thank god for that and good for everyone

[melodiouswhite]

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde rewritten - Ch. 16

16. The strangest Christmas tidings

Utterson was in a hurry today. It was Christmas time, so he had closed his office for the holidays. Unlike normally around this time of the year, he felt euphoric. This year's Christmas was better than all the others. Lady Summers had invited him and Lanyon to celebrate with them and because Jekyll and Hyde were there too, he could be in the presence of the dearest person in his life. And this time, no one had to hide their feelings. The lawyer suspected, that Hyde had a negativistic attitude towards the most wonderful time of the year, but also hoped, that the small brunette wouldn't make a fuss. But what he hoped even more was that Hyde would let Jekyll be in control, just for a while.

When he arrived, the butler let him in and wished him a merry Christmas. The lawyer requited that wish, only to then remember, that Mr. Singh was a Hindu and didn't really celebrate Christmas as anything other than a day to spend with the rest of the household. Awkwardly he apologised to the Indian, who chuckled good-humouredly and took it in stride.

This happens every year, he thought in embarrassment, as he allowed the butler to lead him to the parlour.

As always, the decoration was colourful and multicultural. Just like the mistress of the house preferred it. It smelled of exotic, expensive spices and baked fruits and for a few seconds, the lawyer allowed himself to be enveloped by the heavy, but rich scent.

Then he was torn back into the moment by cheerful laughter and saw Lanyon and Jekyll sit on one of the couches. They were chatting and laughing about old times.

Utterson felt his heart swell at the sight and silently hid behind a curtain to listen and see, when they would notice him.

“… And do you remember that one time in chemistry class, when we messed up the professor's chemicals, while he wasn't looking?”

“Ugh, don't remind me. That was such a low point.”

“Come on! It was priceless!”

Lanyon chuckled: “Alright, I admit it: that was completely worth the subsequent beating and permanent notation in our school files.”

Jekyll smirked: “Prof. Whitby's reaction was … an utter masterpiece!”

The white-haired doctor smirked back: “I remember, how the principle had to tie him to a chair, until he calmed down! He screamed bloody murder the entire time!”

The blond giggled: “Yes, he was like a burnt, rabid monkey! And with all the coal on him and his hair looking like a hedgehog, it was glorious! Oh, if only I'd had a camera back then!”

Now Utterson spoke up: “I think if you had, they would have taken it away from you.”

The two doctors yelped in surprise and whirled around.

The lawyer smiled and opened his arms. “Merry Christmas, you two.”

Jekyll immediately jumped up and ran into his arms, hugging him tightly.

Utterson laughed and allowed himself to melt into the taller man's embrace for a moment, until Lanyon joined them.

“Merry Christmas”, the latter replied to his friend, before prying Jekyll off of him, so he could breathe again.

“Don't suffocate him, Henry”, Lanyon chuckled. The other doctor let go and mumbled an awkward apology and a 'Merry Christmas'.

The lawyer laughed: “I see, you're talking about the good ol' times!”

Jekyll smiled: “Yes, we are. It feels so good, that we can do that again.”

“It is”, Lanyon agreed softly, smiling as well. “And not just because it's Christmas.”

The lawyer smirked: “Let me join you two. I also remember some silly stories from back then.”

They sat on the couch and resumed their dwelling in the old times. Utterson contributed with the silly debaucheries Jekyll had been up to during their college time.

“ … And do you remember that one time you almost got the three of us expelled for throwing a party in our dorm and getting us drunk?”

“Of course I do! Not proud of it, but seeing you drunk sure was an event!”

“Or that one time Gabriel and I woke up one day long before due, only to find that you weren't there?”

“Don't you dare, Lanyon!”

“Oh yes! We were worried sick and spent the entire morning looking for you-”

“Not you too, Gabriel!”

“-only to find you passed out in the school garden, half naked, with love bites all over you!”

“Noooo, why did you have to bring that up?! That was the worst thing-”

“Come on, Jekyll! Apart from the two of us, no one saw you!”

“You never let me hear the end of it!”

“Well, serves you right! That's what you get for sneaking out in the middle of the night.”

“Come on, that was over thirty years ago! How do you even still remember it that vividly?”

Lanyon smirked: “Because it was that hilarious, that's how! Besides, it's just payback for that one time you drew on my face in my sleep! Or that one time you laughed at my pony tail and called it old-fashioned!”

“Oh come on! I apologised! And didn't I always defend you, when our fellow students were mean to you?”

The bespectacled man smiled fondly: “Yes, of course I remember that. Like that one time someone called me a teacher's pet with freak eyes and you brawled with him in front of everyone! And somehow you still managed for him to get expelled, instead of yourself. That was really wicked of you, Jekyll.”

“I know, but I would lie, if I said that I regret it.”

Lanyon muttered something under his breath, that sounded like: “Idiot.” But he smiled.

Utterson laughed and put his bag on the table. Just when he was about to hand his presents to his friends, suddenly an angry screech tore through the festive atmosphere.

“What was that?”, Jekyll asked in shock.

Utterson frowned: “That must have been Lady Summers.”

Lanyon sighed: “Sounds like she received a letter or a cable from her relatives in Germany. She isn't very fond of them-”

Before he could end his sentence, the Lady herself rushed into the room. She was sputtering something that sounded dangerously like German profanities, pieces of paper in her gloved hand.

Then she flung herself onto the couch by the fireplace in a rather unladylike manner.

“Agh!”, she fumed, “Ich hasse diesen Kerl!”*

When she saw the three clueless gentlemen staring at her, she cleared her throat and sat up.

“My apologies, gentlemen”, she excused herself, “That you have to see me like this. I just received a letter from my second cousin and it's extremely offensive.”

She threw one piece of paper onto the red carpet and rested her feet on it.

The gentlemen winced and exchanged looks. Whoever this second cousin was, he must have really infuriated her, if she treated his letter so disrespectfully.

Finally it was Jekyll who gathered his courage first. “Uhm … Milady, if you don't mind … what does it say, that offends you so?”, he inquired as cautiously as possible.

She huffed, removed her feet from the letter and picked it up.

“Normally, I don't read the letters of my relatives out loud”, she conceded, “But there is no harm in letting people know, what an idiotic sod he is. Feast your ears on this gibberish!”

She unfolded the letter and began to translate the content:

“My dear cousin,

I wish you a happy Christmas tiding.

It's truly a shame that a member of our exalted house is not here to celebrate this joyous time with us. It's a disgrace really, that a woman like you chooses to spend it with English snobs, rather than in her true father land, with her true people and her true family. But if those are the people you want to waste your formidable skills on, that's none of my concern.

But this is the time of forgiveness, so I shall not hold any grievances.

I am well. The emperor is having health problems, but that's no surprise for such an old man. He's almost ninety after all, he won't last another five years.

Father and mother are fine, if only they wouldn't waste their time on those treacherous  so foolishly.

Old chancellor Bismarck is patronising as always and I wish he would finally bite the dust or at least resign.

I hope you and your exotic household have a merry Christmas and say hello to my uncle and grandmother from me.

Most respectfully and hoping that one day you will come to your senses and serve OUR monarchy rather than the British,

Prince Wilhelm.”

She stopped and crushed the letter in her hands, her ice blue eyes blazing with fury.

Meanwhile the men in front of her were mute with disbelief. The servants present in the room stood in awkward silence.

Utterson wasn't sure if he was more shocked by the rudeness of the letter or by the revelation of just how powerful her father's family was.

“Can you believe this?!”, she seethed, “It's already bad enough that this arrogant bastard has the impudence to bother me on Christmas Eve, but this takes the cake!”

With a growl, she tore the letter into half.

“That 26-year-old brat has the gall- ”

She tore it into quarters,

“-and the nerve to sign 'Prince'-”

She tore it into eighths,

“-just to rub into my face how inferior he thinks I am!”

She threw the pieces into the fire place. Then she dropped back onto the couch with a frustrated sigh. Her Japanese lady-in-waiting fanned her with a huge paper fan. Her butler served her a glass of cordial, she thanked him meekly and downed it in one gulp.

The gentlemen also received a glass of liquor each.

Jekyll began: “I'm really sorry, Milady-”

“No, no”, she interrupted him, “It's me, who's sorry. You are my guests and clients, you shouldn't have to deal with my family issues, especially not on Christmas Eve.”

She skimmed over the other letters, burned another two of them and gave the rest to her butler, who left the room with them.

“Foo! And that on this day!”, she lamented.

Finally, her nurse approached her: “Milady … don't let that silly, foolish letter upset you. It's Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year! Don't let that be ruined by a piece of paper! Wilhelm is just a proper rake. Forget him and the entire brood and celebrate!”

Her mistress smiled sadly and tiredly and replied: “You're right. Thank you, Marie.”

Then she turned to her guests.

“But I realise, I haven't greeted you properly, how rude of me! I apologise. Merry Christmas, gentlemen. Thank you for joining us today.”

“The thanks are ours”, Lanyon answered, then saw the bottle and spoon the butler handed to her and added, “But please lay off the brandy. You shouldn't get drunk today, Milady.”

“Oh, that's not brandy”, the Lady assured him, “I'm just taking a spoonful of laudanum to calm myself down.”

“Fine”, the hoary doctor consented doubtfully.

Yet the three gentlemen were still concerned. Jekyll had never and the latter two only a few times seen the Lady so genuinely upset and they were a bit helpless in that moment.

Utterson particularly loathed himself, because she had always been a source of support and good counsel to him, whenever he had needed it and now, that she herself was out of order, he didn't know how to help her and he hated it. When he regarded his friends, it became clear, that they were thinking similarly.

It was Lanyon, who spoke next: “Merry Christmas, Milady. That means, a merrier one than it is right now.”

The other two followed suit.

She smiled gently and thanked them, before sitting up and gesturing to the empty space next to her.

“Sit with me, Dr. Lanyon”, she requested and he obeyed.

Utterson suppressed a grin, when her hand brushed his with obvious deliberation and his old friend blushed.

Jekyll didn't even bother to hide his smirk. “Something we should know, Hastie?”, he teased.

“Shut up”, the other muttered, his blush increasing.

Utterson came to his friend's aid: “Leave him be, Jekyll. Their matter is a convoluted one.”

“Indeed it is”, Lady Summers confirmed, “But I can assure you, Dr. Jekyll, that there is nothing indecent about this matter. No ground for teasing.”

“Of that I have no doubt”, Jekyll defended himself, “I just couldn't help myself there. But I would never accuse either of you of being indecent.”

“Good.”

Then the butler returned to fetch the bottle of laudanum and inform everyone that brunch was ready.

“Oh, that's wonderful!”, the hostess exclaimed in delight, “This brightens my day immediately! Gentlemen, you must join us! My employees and I will be happy to have three more at our table! Especially, since my cooks prepared far too much food this year!”, she added with a teasing wink and everyone laughed.

So the butler saved the morning, which from there was passed with the appropriate merriment.

“Oh my! Mr. Utterson, you really didn't have to!”, Lady Summers cried, holding up an expensive new black raincoat.

“I beg to differ”, Utterson said, “I saw the state of your old raincoat and I thought one can never go wrong with a practical present.”

Jekyll smiled.

Of course, that's so much like you, Gabe.

“It's beautiful!”, she marvelled, running her hands over the elaborate pattern and needlework. Then she jumped up and darted off with the coat, bubbling in excitement about how she had to try it on immediately.

Jekyll chuckled good-naturedly. It was so hard to believe, that this woman was actually fifty years old, when she was looking and behaving as excitedly as a young maid.

Meanwhile Lanyon got his present from Utterson and beamed at the new walking cane he unwrapped. “Oh, thank you, Gabriel! How did you know?”

“Lawyer's instinct”, Utterson said mysteriously.

Jekyll blushed a little. He hadn't heard that tone in ages, yet it still managed to grab his attention.

Then the black-haired man handed him his own present and his heart beat higher.

With barely held-back curiosity, the blond looked at the package in his hand. It was small and rectangular and wrapped in red paper. It took him some self-restraint to open it in an appropriate manner, instead of just tearing the wrapping off like a spoiled child.

In the end, his eyes widened in awe: he held a beautiful golden locket in his hand. When he snapped it open, it contained a miniature portrait of Utterson on one side and on the inside of the lid a silver engraving.

From: G. J. Utterson

To: H. Jekyll.

Before Jekyll could say thank you or … anything really, his hand closed around the treasure, he clutched it to his chest and burst into tears in front of everyone.

In his head, Hyde groaned: “Really, Jekyll? He gives you a locket and you start to bawl? Instead of, I don't know, kissing him?! Really?!”

Hyde, shut up!

Suddenly he felt Utterson's smaller hand on his own.

“What's the matter?”, the lawyer asked worriedly, “Do you not like it?”

“I do!”, Jekyll choked, “It's … it's … beautiful!”

Then he cried harder.

“Oh good grief, somebody stop the waterworks!”, Hyde yelled in frustration.

Oh shut up, you hell child cried yesterday!

“I didn't cry over a present! I was in great distress! Partly because of you, may I add! Also, I didn't cry that much!”

Finally Lady Summers ended the mental argument by handing the doctor a handkerchief and telling him to compose himself.

“This is a day of joy, no more tears”, she said.

“But surely, tears of joy must be acceptable!”, Jekyll cried and dried his tears with the kerchief.

But she shook her head. “No. Settle down, doctor, before your alter ego gets the vapours. Besides, some of the people present here are really uncomfortable with tears.”

“Oh, thank you so much!”, Hyde sighed in relief.

You're a brat, do you know that?, the doctor thought in annoyance, then he inhaled deeply and blinked away the last tears.

“You're right”, he finally agreed with the Lady, “My apologies. What ungentlemanly behaviour of me. I just didn't expect to be caught by surprise like that.”

“No one judges you”, the Lady pardoned him graciously, “That is a wonderful gift you received.”

Then her face turned pensive and dreamy. “Yes”, she murmured, “Love is a wonderful gift.”

Her eyes became distant and melancholy, as if she was thinking of times long gone. Jekyll guessed, that she was thinking of her late husband.

“I miss him”, she told them sadly, “It's been twenty-one years, since we last celebrated Christmas together. And my father always sat with us. Then we would chat and laugh about the silliest things. He died five years after my husband. Honestly, gentlemen, one of the reasons I invited you, is that every Christmas I sit here and then I see the two of them again. And then I feel lonely, despite all the servants I employ. None of them knew my husband and only a few knew my father. And do you know what the worst is? Today would have been my father's 70th birthday. Every Christmas is bittersweet.”

Jekyll felt his heart clench.

He couldn't imagine how it was to lose someone so dear, that you mourned them for decades.

Sure, when Lanyon had left him almost eleven years ago, he had taken the loss really hard. He been had completely lost without his colleague's constancy and sense to keep him sane.

But it wasn't the same.

Lanyon was still alive, thanks to the help of Lady Summers. He could talk to him, they could still argue, reconcile, cry and laugh together and be there for each other.

But the Lady herself had lost her husband and father (likely the most important people in her life) forever and nothing would ever bring them back.

It was heart-wrenching and Jekyll had to bite his lip.

“Don't! Don't you dare!”, Hyde warned. “I don't care how depressing this is, you will not start to bawl on me again!”

Don't worry, I'm not going to.

“Be glad, that you can do all these things, Henry. You owe that to her.”

You're right.

Jekyll cleared his throat.

“Milady, may I tell you something?”

She blinked. “Oh? Ah, sure.”

“Thank you. For saving Hyde and me and for saving Lanyon.”

Her eyes grew softer than he had ever seen, as she smiled in response.

“You don't have to thank me, Dr. Jekyll. It was my pleasure.”

Then, all of the sudden, she broke into a huge grin. “But away with these melancholy reflections! I haven't given out my presents yet!”

Lanyon almost laughed at Jekyll's face, when the Countess handed him her present.

“A pot plant?”, the blond asked incredulously.

The Prussian Lady nodded enthusiastically: “When I first went to your house to fetch your chemicals, I saw that you didn't have any plants in your house. What a depressing atmosphere! I thought I had to change that! A flower in the office brightens everyone's mood!”

Jekyll didn't reply and for a moment the white-head thought he was disappointed. But the younger doctor just stared at the pot full of earth, that contained the seed of what surely was to become a beautiful flower.

“It's … it's such a delicate life form … I don't think I can-”

“Nonsense! You're a doctor, of course you can! Besides, you need something to take care of, when you're not treating your patients. This little flower will depend on you to live. You're its parent from now on, so take good care of it.”

“What kind of flower is it?”, Jekyll wanted to know.

The Lady's eyes twinkled. “That's a surprise!”

Lanyon got his present next, a pair of velvet gloves. He didn't show his friends the other present hidden between them: a locket with a miniature portrait.

“Thank you, Milady.”

He hoped that she would understand.

She laughed warmly. She understood.

Utterson received a bottle of fine champagne. “Oh Milady, you shouldn't have!”

“I absolutely should have!”, she objected, “I will not have you force that nasty cheap gin down your throat! Nothing is too good for my friends!”

The black-haired lawyer chuckled and put the bottle into his bag.

Then the servants had their moment of joy, as the Lady handed out a present to each of them.

Jekyll was the next to give out his gifts.

Lady Summers beamed at the scientific protocols she held in her hands. “Thank you, Doctor! This will certainly aid me in my own scientific research! That is an interesting formula, I shall try it out on my blood samples as soon as possible! What a useful present!”

The giver blushed. “Thank you. I'm not sure if it works, but I didn't want to test it on someone else. It would have been too risky.”

She nodded in approval. “I'm glad you think this way. That's one of your redeeming qualities.”

Her secretary took the protocols and went off to her office to put them there.

Then Jekyll gave Lanyon a small package.

When the white-haired doctor opened it, he was surprised to find a brand new golden pince-nez.

“This one suits you much better”, the blond remarked, when Lanyon replaced his bronze-framed pince-nez with the golden one. It was slightly more comfortable and the glasses were stronger than those on the old one.

“Thank you”, he told his friend, “Now I can see better.”

“That's what I thought”, Jekyll commented drily, “Your old one isn't strong enough, I observed.”

The other smiled. He hadn't expected Jekyll to actually notice that.

Utterson received his gift next.

A pocket watch of silver, with a golden engraving on the inside.

“Thank you, Henry”, he said gently, “But may I ask, when you had the opportunity to acquire all the presents?”

That's a good question, Lanyon thought.

“On the first day the Lady allowed me to go out for a walk. Her coachman accompanied me to the bank and to the shops. He had to support me several times, when my legs gave away.”

The coachman, a freckled redhead, whom Lanyon knew to be Irish, shrugged.

“Eh, that 'appens, when ya walk that much after lyin' an' sittin' in bed fer weeks”, he remarked.

Jekyll chuckled: “I know. But I just had to. I needed to get out. I can't sit and lie around all the time.”

“Fair 'nuff”, the coachman agreed. “Neither can I.”

“Hey, I know you!”, Utterson suddenly cried and stood up. “Aren't you the coachman, who drove us here for free that night, when Mr. Hyde-?”

“Aye”, the Irishman confirmed. “Was the only place I knew where you'd get 'elp that late. And I can't just let people die. So that kid's name was Hyde?”

Utterson nodded. “Yes. Edward Hyde. Some twit shot him in the abdomen for no good reason.”

“Indeed”, Lady Summers muttered under her breath, so only Lanyon heard it.

“Thank you for helping us”, the lawyer spoke to the coachman. “If you hadn't let us ride along for free, he would have died.”

The redhead just waved it off. “Mah. Is natural to help someone on the brink o' death. A life's more important than money. B'sides, I get good cash from her Ladyship.”

Lanyon had been keeping a close eye on Jekyll during the conversation.

The blond had grown pale and sombre, but never said anything. Maybe he was considering to later talk to the coachman in private.

Lanyon was the next to hand out his presents.

The Lady received a new black Sunday hat, which she accepted gracefully and put on. It fit perfectly with her new raincoat.

Utterson got a blue velvet scarf, that he wrapped around his neck immediately.

Jekyll pulled a face, when he uncovered an awfully gaudy purple bow tie. “Really, Hastie? Really?!”

The other doctor burst into laughter. This was just the reaction he had hoped for!

“What's the matter?”, he giggled, “Don't you want some colour in your wardrobe? All of your clothes are brown, white, grey or black! Bring some life into that!”

Utterson smirked: “Come on. It's a Christmas present, you have to put it on.”

Lady Summers agreed: “Yes, Dr. Jekyll, come on! Don't make a fuss, lest you want to offend the giver!”

The blond threw them all an evil glare, then he put on the purple bow tie, that absolutely didn't correspond with his beige waistcoat.

“You will pay, Hastie Lanyon”, he threatened darkly, when everyone giggled, “I will get back at you for this prank, when your birthday comes! Just you wait!”

“Totally worth it!”, the white-head snickered.

Yes … that face is totally worth it.

When everyone had calmed down, Utterson noticed a few untouched packages that still lay under the Christmas tree.

“Who are those for?”, he asked.

“They're for Hyde”, Jekyll explained. “I didn't want him to get no presents at all. The small one is from Lanyon, the long one from Lady Summers. I couldn't decide what to give to him, but it wouldn't have worked anyway, because he always knows what I'm thinking. It's no fun, if the other already knows, what you want to give to them.”

Pensively, the lawyer looked at the pile under the tree. Then he revealed a medium-sized package and a small one of his own. “What a coincidence. I have two gifts for him too.”

Jekyll alone looked curious and Lanyon was quite sure, that Hyde himself was brimming with excitement in the blond's head.

“He can't wait to see what you all got him”, he said warmly.

“I can imagine”, Utterson chuckled.

The rest of the day went by in a blink and all too soon it was evening. All the while Jekyll was sticking to him like glue. Meaning he sat next to him the entire time and brushed his hand, as if by accident. After a while Utterson had just grabbed the larger hand and not let go. Jekyll had blushed like a winter rose and grinned like an idiot. Lady Summers had giggled at the sight. Lanyon had just rolled his eyes and muttered something the likes of “about bloody time”.

In the evening after Christmas dinner, Lanyon had been about to go home, when Jekyll had pulled him to the side. Utterson had given them some space, but heard hushed words being exchanged and a sob here and there, which had prompted him to check. Lanyon had been crying on Jekyll's shoulder, while the taller doctor cooed soothingly into his ear. The white-haired doctor had gone home, smiling like he had finally found his long-lost peace.

The three others waved after him, before Lady Summers returned to her work and Utterson and Jekyll went to Jekyll's sickroom to have time for themselves.

No sooner had the lawyer closed the door, that the doctor's arms wrapped themselves around him and the taller man rested his head on his shoulder.

So clingy … one more thing these two have in common, he caught himself thinking and grinned.

“Harry, as sweet as this is, I'm afraid you have to let go of me”, he told the other.

Jekyll let out a sound that sounded suspiciously like a whine, but let go.

They sat down on the bed and the black-haired man allowed the younger to lay his head on his shoulder again.

“You're so cuddly”, he laughed, “That's not just because it's Christmas, is it?”

“No”, Jekyll replied smiling. “I'm just being clingy, while I still can.”

“You're making it sound like one of us is leaving somewhere.”

“Hyde wants out.”

“Oh.”

The lawyer was caught by surprise, when Jekyll sat up and cupped his face in his hands.

“Gabriel”, the blond whispered. Utterson realised the other's intent and blushed.

But before their lips could touch, the black-haired man swiftly turned his head to the side and got kissed on the cheek instead.

“Forgive me, Henry”, he apologised sadly, when Jekyll blinked in confusion. “I'm not ready yet.”

“I see …”

The doctor was obviously trying his best to hide his disappointment, but didn't quite succeed.

The lawyer felt guilty. But he really wasn't ready to go even that far. He loved Henry, but how could he kiss him, if he couldn't even tell him that he loved him? It didn't feel right.

“Please be silent for a minute”, Jekyll suddenly said.

“Huh? Why?”

“I'm having an argument with myself. It's just as ridiculous as it sounds.”

Utterson bit back the laugh that was threatening to escape him. Of course he knew what Jekyll meant, but the idea of the doctor and Hyde having a petty domestic inside his head was too funny.

But the lawyer contained himself and silently waited until the doctor relaxed.

“What were you arguing about?”, he then asked curiously.

Jekyll groaned in annoyance: “That little beast guessed that you've never been kissed before and now he's cackling like a hyena.”

“And I assume he wants to steal my first kiss now?”

“Yep.”

Utterson scowled. “Let him know that I'm not above hitting someone on Christmas Eve, if they don't respect my personal space.”

“Noted. Just remember, he's a professional brawler.”

“I know someone else who used to be!”

“Shut up! You always punched like a girl!”

Utterson ignored that jab at how he had always refused to seriously engage in brawls. “Just tell him not to flirt at me and if he honestly promises not to, he will get his Christmas presents.”

“He says you win.”

“Good. Now come here, you clingy fifty-year-old doctor.”

Said clingy fifty-year-old doctor giggled and returned his head to its spot on Utterson's shoulder. Then the lawyer ran his fingers through the blond hair and the other man purred.

“This is my happiest day in decades”, Jekyll cooed. “I love you so much.”

“I know, Henry. And I'm happy that you do.”

They sat like that for a while in comfortable silence. Then the doctor whispered: “I have to go. Hyde is getting impatient.”

Utterson nodded. “Good night, Henry. And merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Gabriel.”

That was the last thing he said, before closing his eyes and letting go.

The lawyer felt the blond hair beneath his fingers grow longer, darker and thicker and the doctor's frame shrunk considerably.

Utterson looked down on Edward Hyde's café brown mane, as the boy shifted and slowly became aware that he was in control.

“Mister Hyde”, he greeted gently.

Hyde looked up. “Mister Utterson!” He grinned. “How come that, every time Jekyll leaves the reins to me, I find myself in your arms?”

The lawyer shrugged. “I don't know, Mr. Hyde. Ask your other half. And don't even think about doing what you obviously want to do right now!”, he added, when he saw the roguish smirk on the younger man's face.

Hyde pouted childishly. “Hmph! Spoilsport.”

Utterson realised that he had to provide compensation and began to scratch Hyde's head. A long-stretched, pleased purr was the result.

Does Henry know that his alter ego is secretly a cat?

For a while the lawyer managed to keep the young man in trance through the scratching, but of course it couldn't last. After a while, Hyde looked up expectantly.

“Alright, I behaved. Now I would like to get the presents I was promised”, he demanded.

Utterson resisted the temptation to roll his eyes and handed him over the gifts he, Lanyon and Lady Summers had got for him.

Just as Hyde took them, there was a knock on the door and Lady Summers walked in – as she always did in moments like this one.

“Merry Christmas, Mr. Hyde!”, she cried cheerfully, “I just wanted to check, like the control freak I am and it seems my timing was perfect!”

“Your timing is always perfect”, Hyde noted drily. Then he added something unintelligible, that sounded like 'Merry Christmas to you too'.

Lady Summers fake blushed. “Oh you!”, she giggled, obviously flattered. “Now come, open your presents! Like every woman, I'm curious to see if you will like them!”

Hyde snorted. Then he tore the wrappings off the first present, till he held a dark blue umbrella in his hands. He frowned in confusion.

“Is that one from you?”, the brunette asked the Prussian Lady, who nodded.

“Thanks, but I already have an-”

“Oh, that's not a normal umbrella”, the Lady informed him, “The cover is made out of a bulletproof material a friend of mine invented. A mad scientist, just like Dr. Jekyll, only in a different field. It's tested, easy to clean and I can assure you, that it works perfectly.”

The young man stared at the innocuous-looking item in his hands, as if it was the holy grail.

The next present was Lanyon's. “Oh, a coat! Give Lanyon my thanks. I really needed one, the old one was beyond saving, after-”

Hyde broke off, realising that he had involuntarily brought up a subject, that he himself had been trying to forget.

He took a deep breath and turned to the bigger one of Utterson's gifts.

When  he unwrapped it, he laughed: “A diary?!”

The lawyer scratched his head awkwardly. “Uh no, more of a normal notebook. Alright, technically it's supposed to be a diary, but I already guessed that you wouldn't use it as such. So consider it a notebook with a lock.”

Hyde chuckled and put it into the lower counter of the night table. Utterson caught a glimpse of the ivory comb he had given the younger man a fortnight ago. It was still in one piece and neatly placed on his nightshirt, like a crown on a pillow. That warmed his heart.

Meanwhile the brunette was opening Utterson's second present. With wide eyes he regarded the content. A silver locket with a portrait of Utterson himself on one and a golden engraving on the other side:

From: G. J. Utterson

To: E. Hyde

After a while, the young man remembered to close his mouth.

He smiled wryly and commented: “Nice touch. My locket mirrors Jekyll's. A golden one with silver engraving for him, a silver one with golden letters for me. Well played, Mr. Utterson.”

His tone was dry, but there was no bitterness or envy. And the lawyer noticed there was a certain softness in the brunette's eyes. Without another word, he added the locket to his treasury and shut the drawer.

“Thank you. Both of you”, he said softly.

The lawyer and the Countess smiled warmly.

Shortly before midnight, Utterson had gone home and Hyde was now by himself. Well, himself and Jekyll.

He didn't know how to deal with all the feelings and thoughts that were running through him.

No one had ever given him presents before and actually put thought into what he might like. Sure, Jekyll had given him a name, clothes, flat and a bank account, but that had been out of necessity.

And now someone had given him something without him asking for it, just because they had wanted to, because they had thought that he might want or need it.

Hyde didn't know how to deal with so much genuine kindness.

Vehemently he blinked the wetness in his eyes away.

He wouldn't cry.

Not tonight.

Tonight he would feel at peace, just for a little while.

“Hyde.”

Jekyll's voice was soft, almost timid. As if he feared that he was disturbing Hyde's temporary peace of mind.

But the brunette only smiled lopsidedly.

“Jekyll.”

“May I sit with you?”

“Sure.”

In the dim light of the petrol lamb, Jekyll's shadowy form was faint and transparent, as it appeared and sat next to him.

“Are you happy?”, the doctor asked.

Hyde smiled a little bit. “I don't know. I suppose. Maybe your hype from earlier is rubbing off on me.”

“Maybe”, the older man chuckled.

“… Hey.”

“Hm?”

Hyde stood and pecked the other's forehead. An uncharacteristically tender gesture from him, but it was Christmas and that was his perfect excuse.

“Merry Christmas, Henry”, he muttered and sat back down.

Jekyll smiled and intertwined their fingers.

“Merry Christmas, Edward.”

They sat in comfortable silence for the rest of the night, holding hands and smiling, because just for a while everything was fine and they were at peace.

Hyde couldn't have asked for a better Christmas present from his doctor.

---

(A/N: Yes, I know that this is mushy and all, but this is a Christmas chapter so screw you!

*Ich hasse diesen Kerl! - German for: I hate this guy!)

[mbtizone]

Liam Booker (Faking It): ISFP

Dominant Introverted Feeling [Fi]: Liam has very strong morals and is first and foremost concerned with doing the “right” thing. His conscience rules him, and if he does anything that contradicts his internal values, he obsesses over it until he’s able to correct his perceived shortcoming. Liam takes a stand for what he believes in. He is socially, economically, and environmentally aware, and wants the way he lives to reflect his principles. He’s opposed to lying and sneaking around, which makes his relationship with Karma difficult for him because he’s under the impression that Karma is dating Amy. He doesn’t want to get in the way of their relationship, and even though he cares about Karma, he feels that getting in the middle of their relationship is wrong. That’s just not who he is. Liam values honesty and hates that Amy is forcing him to keep their secret from Karma. He just wants to fess up, tell her the truth, and deal with the consequences. He can’t live with the guilt. Liam believes in punishing himself when he breaks his moral code and vows to abstain from sex after sleeping with Amy. He doesn’t like to openly discuss how he’s feeling, and prefers to do something to fix things rather than talk about it. Liam is very loyal to the people he loves and gives up his dream to get Karma and her family out of jail. He doesn’t tell her about this, though, because he didn’t do it to gain favor with her. He wants to earn her forgiveness and had no intention of using his good deed to sway her. He’s outraged when Karma considers taking the $250,000 check Mr. Booker wrote her to keep her away from Liam. He turned Zita down after she threw herself at him while Karma was contemplating accepting the bribe money, which hurts even more, because he knows she wouldn’t consider it for a single second if the money was given to her to stay away from Amy.

Auxiliary Extroverted Sensing [Se]: Sometimes, Liam makes shortsighted decisions in the heat of the moment and often comes to regret them after having time to reflect. He keeps seeing Karma, even though he’s against being with her behind Amy’s back. When he’s angry or upset, he tends to react without considering the ramifications. After his breakup with Karma, he learns that she had faked her relationship with Amy. In his outrage over being lied to for so long, he sleeps Amy and becomes immediately remorseful of his actions following the incident. Liam enjoys sensory pleasures, particularly sex, and is a talented artist. He expresses himself by creating, and is very good at translating his feelings into the works he produces (Fi-Se). Liam tends to work through his feelings physically – whether it’s by producing art or going to a mixed martial arts class with Theo.

Tertiary Introverted Intuition [Ni]: If Liam gets a hunch about something, he usually believes in it, fully committing to the idea, even if he’s completely mistaken. When Jackson Lee takes a special interest in him and his art, Liam is convinced that Jackson is his real father. He begins investigating to confirm his suspicions, and believes that he found “evidence” to prove it (his mother in the same photo as Jackson). However, it never occurs to him that it’s just a coincidence and his theory turns out to be incorrect. When Liam has a goal in mind, he can become singularly focused on achieving it, particularly if it’s something that is important to him morally.

Inferior Extroverted Thinking [Te]: When Liam believes in something, he does something about it. He organizes protests and inspires others to rally around him and fight back. When in protest mode, Liam is able to take charge, make decisions, and shout commands to the crowd. He doesn’t like when things are done for money, power, or control, which is why he refuses to drive a fancy car or buy expensive clothing, even though he comes from a rich family. He doesn’t like what money has done to them and rebels against that lifestyle. Liam is very upfront and lays down rules when need be – he tells Brandi upfront that their relationship must be casual sex or nothing. He’s not looking for a girlfriend, and if she can’t handle that, they have to stop hooking up. He knows what he wants, and has no problem speaking up.

Enneagram: 1w9 4w3 7w8 Sx/So

Quotes:

Brandi: Where have you been, Pooh Bear? Who’s this bitch? Liam: Whoa, Brandi, you’re drunk. Brandi: He’s mine, so keep those nipples to yourself. Karma: That was my goal from the beginning, I promise. Liam: Look, I am not your boyfriend. We’re just good friends who occasionally have sex, but if that’s too confusing for you, then we have to stop. [to Karma] What? Karma: Nothing. Liam: Look, I’m not a douche bag, all right? I’m always clear about my ground rules. And girls, they always agree to them, and then they get- Karma: Clingy? Women are genetically wired to mate and start a family. In fact, if we weren’t, our entire species would’ve died out, so have some respect.

Shane: They’re here, they’re queer, they need your votes. Nice work, minions. Liam: Anything to help the gays.

Karma: Liam’s parents are rich, but he drives a beat-up biodiesel, which means he’s socially aware. His best friends are a gay guy and a feminist, which means he’s tolerant and accepting of strong women. And he’s an artist, which means that deep down inside he’s wounded.

Liam: I’m glad you got back together with your girlfriend. You two are like the school’s Portia and Ellen. Karma: Which one am I? Please say Portia. Liam: Trust me, you’re the Portia. Which is why we probably shouldn’t make out again. I don’t want to be the asshole that breaks up Hester’s cutest couple.

Liam: We can see through your lies! She’s just trying to buy us! Robin: Trust me, no one is trying to buy you. Though you’ll each be getting new Skwerkel smartphones and tablets. Liam: What do you get out of this? Robin: The satisfaction of helping a school in desperate need of money. Also, Skwerkel will own all data collected on these devices. Karma: That means our photos, our emails, our text messages. They want to make us their digital slaves. Are we gonna let them? Crowd: Hell, no! Liam: Time to occupy Hester. Man your stations!

Liam: Money has made my family secretive, image-obsessed ass. I want nothing to do with it or them.

Liam: Look, maybe you two are okay with this sneaking around thing, but I’m not. I tried to be, but it’s just not who I am.

Liam: They’re right. I knew Karma had a girlfriend, but I kept seeing her. Shane: Why are you beating yourself up like this? It’s not your fault they broke up.

Liam: Six months? That’s forever. Karma: I know, I’m sorry. But if people at school think I left Amy for you, they’ll hate us more than oil companies. Liam: And Amy is okay with this? I just, I really don’t like lying.

Amy: This is kidnapping. Shane: It’s really more blackmail. Lauren: We’re going to take photos of this assjolr that are so shocking and deviant, he’ll never tell anyone my secret. Shane: Conveniently, my mom sells sex toys out of the trunk of her car. Amy: Guys, guys, this is illegal and highly disturbing. Lauren, how bad could this secret be? Lauren: Ugh, I’m not telling you my fucking secret. Shane: She’s not. Trust me, I tried. Liam: Guys, I’m with Amy. Maybe it’s a good thing this thing gets out. They say you’re only as sick as your secrets. Amy: What? No, who says that? Who, the voices in your head? Tell ’em to shut up. I changed my mind. I’m on board. This is America. We are all entitled to our secrets. Will you excuse us for a second? What the hell was that? “You’re only as sick as your secrets”? I’m sorry, but the guilt is killing me. Amy: Oh, this little piggy went boo-hoo-hoo all the way home. Man up. Look, it’s killing me too, but what would it do to Karma if she found out that her soul mate slept with you? Liam: So what, we just pretend it never happened? Amy: What happened? See how easy that was? And before we never speak of this again, do I need to add contracting syphilis to last night’s list of tragic events?

Shane: You’re still hung up on Karma, aren’t you? I don’t get it. Are her lips dusted with cocaine or something? Liam: No, this is not about Karma, and I’m only hung up on her because Little Liam wanted to meet a lesbian, so he needs to be put in time-out. Shane: Why are you punishing your penis? Hey, Karma is the one who lied. Liam: Trust me, I deserve to be punished. Shane: No, you deserve to move on, and the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new, stat. Unless you don’t want to get over her. Liam: Of course I want to get over her. I just think celibacy is the best way to do that. Shane: I don’t know. In my experience, it only leads to blue balls and long, incoherent speeches about wolves.

Amy: This is your last chance. Promise me you won’t tell Karma or I’m about to make a scene so juicy I might win a daytime Emmy. Liam: What if I tell her I slept with someone and I don’t say that someone was you? Amy: Not a negotiation, last chance. Liam: Wow, you’re completely mental. This is what secrets do to people. Amy: Three, two – Liam: You wouldn’t dare ’cause then you’d have no leverage. Amy: [hits Liam in the face] How dare you? That was one. Liam: Amy, come on. Amy: Don’t touch me! Liam: Amy. Amy: Do you know where I met Liam? At a protest. And do you know what we were protesting? Skwerkel. Mr. Booker: Liam. Amy: But it turns out, he was just seducing me. He never told me his father founded the company. Who are you, Liam Booker? Liam: That’s hilarious. Amy has been taking improv classes, and she’s getting very good. Amy: And if that weren’t enough of a betrayal, I also found out that he slept with my best friend.

Liam: I cannot believe – Did I just really say all of that out loud? Amy: You did. And your family… Liam: Probably disowned me, but right now, I do not give a fuck. I have a huge weight off my back. Amy: Now I get why you’re so hung up on honesty. Liam: Yeah, well a few years ago I accidentally found my original birth certificate and my whole world cracked. It weighed me down ever since. I wish somehow I could un-know it, but, I can’t. I don’t want to tell Karma something she can’t un-know, I care about her way too much. Amy: That’s just how I feel, thank you.

Shane: Quit taking it out on these innocent art supplies. Liam: Shane, really, I don’t want to talk about it. Shane: That’s just your straight guy resistance to talking about your feelings. Push through it. Theo: What are y’all on about? Shane: It’s Karma’s birthday, and Liam can’t be with her for reasons too complicated and fucked up to specify. Theo: Wanna go hit stuff? Always makes me feel better. I’m taking this mixed martial arts class downtown. Shane: Nice try, Theo, but what Liam needs is to talk it all out over some grilled cheeses at Millie’s Diner. Theo: What is this, The View? Liam: Shane, I’m sorry, but that class is just what the doctor ordered. Shane: You’re not the doctor. You’re the patient. You can’t prescribe your own medicine. Theo: Wow, you really think you know what’s best for everybody, don’t you? Shane: It’s a gift. Liam: We’ll talk it out later, I promise. But right now, I just want to punch someone in the face without getting arrested. You wanna come? Shane: I’ll pass. It all sounds a bit too aggressively heterosexual for me.

Karma: If she can’t handle our relationship, then maybe it’s not meant to be. Do you want some dessert? They have homemade doughnuts. Liam: She doesn’t want doughnuts. She wants Reagan. Karma: Amy loves doughnuts. Liam: Karma, we get it. You know all of Amy’s favorite foods, but can’t you see that she’s really into Reagan? You can fix this, but you’ve gotta go and stop her. Amy: You’re right. Liam: No, Karma. Karma, this isn’t about you. You need to give them space.

Karma: You gave up art for me? Liam: Zita told you? Karma: The real question is why you didn’t. Liam: Because I didn’t do it to buy your forgiveness. I want to earn that. But do you think I ever will? Karma: Look, I want to forgive you. You’re doing all the right things. I’m just scared of getting hurt again, which is why I need to be in control. Liam: I’m okay with that. Karma: Then put your hands behind your back.

Shane: Grr! Young Jackson Lee was cute. Liam: And that’s Robin in the same picture. That’s proof! Shane, he’s my dad! Shane: I don’t know. I’ve been in plenty of pictures with people I haven’t impregnated. Liam: No, it all makes so much sense now! Being an artist is in my blood, and now my dad has come back to build some kind of relationship with me. I’ve dreamt about this moment. Shane: Liam- Liam: Shh! When I dreamt about it, there was no talking.

Amy: Who wouldn’t consider taking $250,000? Liam: I’ve been such an idiot. Karma: It could help my parents get back on their feet, help pay for college. How could I not consider it for even a second? Liam: After you left L.A., Zita kissed me. She made it very clear she wanted more, but I turned her down. It didn’t take me a week to think about it. Karma: Oh, yeah, well, too bad you didn’t think before you slept with Amy. Amy: Karma, please leave me out of this. Liam: Here we go again. You’re taking a bribe to stay away from me, but I’m the one defending myself? Karma: I’m not rich, Liam! I didn’t fall asleep in class because I’ve been studying. I’ve been working every catering gig I could get. And I live in a freaking juice truck! Liam: It’s so besides the point, it’s not even funny. If you were offered that money to stay away from Amy, you wouldn’t have considered it for one second!

Principal Turner: These are all of the school’s known visual artists. One of them has to be “B.” All right, you Banksy wannabes. You’ve had your fun. Now if someone doesn’t admit to being “B,” you will all be suspended. And yes, I can do that. Again, read the Terms & Conditions. Liam: It was me, okay? I am “B.” Now, let everyone else go. Principal Turner: B for Booker. You know, I think we might just skip right past suspension to full-on expulsion Penelope: Stop! It wasn’t Liam. It was me. “B” is for Beaver. I mean, Bevier.

Liam Booker (Faking It): ISFP was originally published on MBTI Zone

[thisdiscontentedwinter]

hunger - chapter 6

Hunger master post

The animal clinic is closed when Stiles sidles up to the door the next night. He knocks, and shoves his hands in his pockets while he waits. Scott opens the door a few minutes later, a grin splitting his face.

“Stiles! I’m really glad you came back, dude!” His expression falls. “I’m sorry about last time, with my mom.”

“S’okay.”

Scott lets him and the dog in, and locks the door behind them. That’s when Stiles realizes they aren’t Scott’s only visitors. Allison appears from behind the counter.

“Stiles!”

“Hey,” he says, and raises his eyebrows. “Am I interrupting something?”

They both go interesting shades of red.

“Uh, no,” Scott says at last. “Allison and I are working on a project, and we figured we could throw some ideas around while I cleaned up and fed the animals.”

“I also wanted to see the kittens,” Allison says, dimples appearing when she smiles. Stiles tries to picture her holding kittens, and figures his brain would melt with how fucking adorable that would be. A part of him wants to tell her that, to make a joke of it, but he doesn’t know her or Scott. Not really. He’s not their friend. He’s a kid who lives on the street. He’s a charity case, which is probably the best he can hope for. 

“Can I use the computer?” he asks, nodding at the one on the front counter.

“You can use mine again.” Allison offers, and tugs her slim laptop out of her bag.

“Thanks.”

Stiles sets up in the waiting room, sitting on the floor and using one of the chairs as a table. The dog flops down beside him and puts his head on his knee.

Allison and Scott leave them to it. Stiles is aware of them talking and laughing in the background. It’s nice, not to have to jump at every sound. It’s nice to be around people he’s not scared of. Scott reappears once and sets down a Tupperware container. Chicken sandwiches.

“Thanks, man,” Stiles says. “You’re a lifesaver.”

Scott’s answering smile falters a little, and Stiles figures he’s not used to that phrase being as literal as it is.

Stiles goes to the Beacon Herald website. He skims the front page story about some animal attack in the Preserve where some guy has been ripped apart by a mountain lion—Stiles will not be wandering out there again—and goes to their search function. Luckily the Herald isn’t one of those newspapers where everything online is behind a paywall. He gets four hits on Kate Argent’s name. Two are related to some incidents she attended—a big traffic crash last year, and the evacuation of the Beacon Hills mall because of a smoke hazard that turned out to be a malfunctioning air conditioner unit. The third hit is one of those soft community stories, where she went to the Kindergarten and gave the kids a talk about stranger danger. The fourth hit is talking about the four new officers employed by the Sheriff’s Department, after what the paper calls the recent corruption scandal.

The article is three years old.

Kate wasn’t a deputy when Stiles’s dad was Sheriff.

Okay. So that explains why he didn’t know her voice.

It doesn’t explain how someone planted those drugs in his office.

Stiles closes his eyes and breathes deep for a moment.

There were drugs found in his dad’s office, and drugs and money found at the house. The house would have been easy enough to break into, Stiles supposes. But his office at the Sheriff’s station? It had to be an inside job. One of the men or women that his dad worked with for years did that to him.

And apparently it wasn’t Kate Argent.

Or Jordan Parrish either. Stiles recognizes him as the earnest fresh-faced deputy from the diner. According to his smiling photograph in the Herald, he was hired at the same time as Kate Argent.

He opens another page and Googles Kate Argent. The links to the Herald are the top hits, and there’s not much in the rest. There’s no listing for her under the white pages or anything. Of course there isn’t. Cops don’t publish their addresses or phone numbers online.

There is a G. Argent in Beacon Hills though, and a C. & V. Argent. Stiles gets a piece of paper from the front desk and writes down their addresses and phone numbers. There’s also a Christopher Argent, probably the same person as C. Argent, who owns something called Argent Tactical Solutions.

From the back room, a ringtone blares out. A moment later, Stiles hears Allison.

“Oh my god, Dad, no! You don’t need to come in and meet Scott! I’ll come out when you get here, okay?” She steps out into the foyer, and rolls her eyes at Stiles. “Because we’re project partners, that’s all! Fine. I’ll see you then. Fine.” She ends the call. “My dad is being a total jerk lately.”

Stiles’s smile wavers, and his heart aches. My dad, he thinks, and wishes those words could fall from his mouth without somehow tearing a gaping hole in the universe. He wants a dad who is a jerk sometimes. He wants a dad who calls him on the phone. He wants a dad who sticks his nose into his business.

He wants a dad.

The dog nips at his fingertips gently.

“He’s coming to pick me up because my mom borrowed my car today, and apparently some guy gets eaten by a mountain lion in the middle of the woods, and my dad suddenly thinks the town is overrun with them.” She sighs. “Ugh.”

Stiles closes her laptop, and climbs to his feet. “It also sounds like he thinks you and Scott aren’t just study buddies.”

Allison gives him a cheeky smile, and lowers her voice. “Right? And if he scares him off too soon, there’s no way we’ll ever be anything more than study buddies!”

Stiles smiles, but he’s out of step with this conversation. He doesn’t remember what it’s like to play the part of a friend or a confidant. Of an equal. This is what this is, right? A confidence? An overture of friendship? Stiles has been to a lot of schools in the past four years, and met a lot of kids, but he’s always been the newcomer, the outsider, the kid who’s there one week and gone the next, forgotten.

Allison’s encouraging smile falters.

Stiles is out of step with friendship. He drops his gaze. He gives Allison her laptop back, and folds his piece of paper up and slips it into his shoe for safekeeping.

 ***

 The wolf pads back and forth in the waiting room of the clinic while Stiles finishes the sandwiches. The wolf is hungry too, but there are rats in the alley that will fill his belly later. His boy should eat now, if he won’t eat the rats later. The wolf wants his boy to be strong. He doesn’t want him to be sick again.

He pads back and forth, listening to his boy talking with Allison and Scott.

Listening to his boy’s heartbeat.

His ears prick when he hears a car outside.

It has a whine in the transmission.

Hunters.

 ***

 The headlights from the car arc across the walls of the waiting room.

“It’s my dad!” Allison announces. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Scott! See you, Stiles!”

She lets herself out the front door.

Scott waves at her. He’s wearing a goofy smile, as endearing at it is awkward, and Stiles thinks it’s lucky that Allison knows what she wants, because Scott is way too awkward to actually make a move.

The dog tugs at Stiles’s sleeve, growling as it tries to tug him away from the open door.

Stiles sees a black SUV parked outside. A man gets out of the driver’s side door as Allison approaches.

He’s in his forties, maybe, but he’s in good shape. Better shape than Stiles, probably. He’s wearing jeans and a black t-shirt that pulls tight across his chest as he moves. He has graying hair and a stern expression.

Stiles’s heart clenches.

It’s the man from the Preserve. The one with the tactical gear and the guns. The one who saw Stiles and the dog, and stared at them, before he stepped back into the line of trees.

It’s Allison’s dad.

At the moment his focus in on Allison. He’s watching her approach with a frown, like he doesn’t know what the hell she’s been up to tonight, but he doesn’t approve on principle. 

Stiles steps back from the door before the man sees him.

 ***

 “How do I know I’m not going crazy?” his boy asks as they walk back toward the alley behind the diner. “That’s a thing. Going crazy.”

The wolf’s ears flick as he listens for the hunter’s SUV, but he can’t pick the sound of it from the rest of the distant traffic noise. He and the boy stick to the back streets. A dog barks at them from behind a fence. A cat streaks across the road in front of them. The night smells like cars and people and decay.

“Once is an incident. Twice is a coincidence.” His boy exhales heavily and scrubs his knuckles over his head. “It’s twice. Just twice. Coincidence. Synchronicity. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

The wolf whines.

Hunter.

It means hunter.

But also, I might be going crazy.” His boy chews at the strings of his hoodie. “Might be making connections that aren’t there. Like with the phone call. What if it wasn’t her voice? What if it was just that she happened to say the same thing? It’s not a smoking gun, is it?”

The wolf huffs.

“But also, I shouldn’t ignore instinct, should I?” His boy spits the strings out. “I just need some proof first. Or a confession.” His expression darkens. “But also, she’s a cop. The chances of fucking this up and getting shot are, like, higher than I’d prefer.” He laughs, but the sound is sour.

The wolf growls low in his throat.

“I wish I could call him, you know?” His tone wavers, and his throat clicks as he swallows.

The wolf looks up into the sky. The moon is a tiny sliver of light, riding high above the gray wisps of cloud that trail across the sky. Death is walking with them, silent and pale-faced. She smells of ashes. She has walked so long beside him wearing Laura’s face that the wolf thinks he would mourn her if she left.

But he sees the path that he and his boy are on.

Death will not leave them.

“I have to act,” the wolf’s boy says. “ I have to act.”

The wolf nudges into his side as they walk.

“They lied to me.” His voice belongs to a younger boy now. To a child. “They said he could call me. They said I could visit. They said if I was good, then I could see him.” His mouth twists up. “But then they said, no, you got in a fight at school. No, your counselor says it’s not the right time. No, it will be too upsetting for you. So fuck them, right? Fuck them.”

The wolf whines.

“I just want my dad,” Stiles whispers, and his voice dissolves into tears.

The wolf walks beside him, head hanging.

He and the boy are pack, but they cannot fill all the spaces that their losses have left behind. The wolf’s loss, and the boy’s, has been made by a piercing wound in his heart. It will never heal. It will always ache. Both the wolf and the boy have learned how to breathe through the pain, but it is still there. It is as present as the moon, as the whisper of the wind, as death.

The wolf isn’t sure whose injury is worse. His pack is dead. Dead is gone forever. But his boy’s father? Alive, but kept away from the boy? The wolf understands the light in the boy’s eyes now. He understands the boy’s need to rend and tear, to burn the world down. All that rage, just waiting for a target.

And, he thinks, the boy is very close to finding one.

He will need a wolf at his side then.

The moon was right to lead the wolf to his boy.

The wolf, and death.

[thesecretstruth-blog]

Back to the drama

So, I have to go back to school Tuesday. Now the thing about my school is that it is so small we only have one class per grade. Keep this in mind throughout this whole story. My school is a mid-high school and we alternate days. middle schoolers go Monday, Wednesday, and Friday while high school goes the rest of the days.

This started in 6th grade. The first year of middle school. I joined the second semester and wasn’t very interested in talking to anyone. I never had good experiences with people. So when no other table was open except for the “popular girls” at least that’s what everyone thought I was upset. 

So I was forced to sit down at this crowded table in the last seat there. Suddenly girls are swarming me asking me questions left and right. Now inside I was like get the hell away from me but I opted to just ignore them.

What I didn’t realize was that one girl didn’t talk to me. She glared at me across the table. Not knowing what I did wrong I was pissed off and glared back. So for about 2 months every interaction we have is glaring and insulting each other. So we have this thing called walk about. 

Our faculty doesn't like that we sit in chairs all day so yeah. I was walking around trying to be alone when I run into her. This of course started a yelling match and me trying not to punch her in the face. Suddenly which to this day we can’t remember exactly what it was she did I yell out in surprise “You do that too when you're angry! I thought I was the only one!” and we ended up hugging. 

Now since you got the background know that there was this guy that I’ll just refer to Asshole as her family has deemed his new name. So Asshole liked my best friend. However, before I became best friends with her I rode the bus with Asshole and some others. Now he said he said it because he wanted to be popular but everyone was talking about how they got their scars.

Deciding that I should try to make friends I pipe up and tell a story about some scars on my arm. So he goes and says “Yeah right, you probably cut on a daily basis.” and laughed with everyone else on the bus. However, I’m not one of those people to say who someone else can or cannot be friends with so I sucked it up for my sister.

She liked him back but kept refusing to date him because come on we were only in 6th grade. However, it got worse when 7th grade came around. His mother became a teacher. Now I saw from the beginning that Asshole was manipulative and two faced however my friend didn’t want to believe that. 

He and his mom made my next few years a living hell. She ruined choir for me because all the solos were given to him. He would always say snarky comments to me or refuse to work with me if we got paired up on a project. Now here’s my deal. At first, he never apologized for what he said in the beginning so I soon forgot about that. He gave me plenty of other reasons to despise him. However, he never saw what he did wrong so he started apologizing about that first time because he wanted my best friend to be happy. 

He didn’t even mean any of the apologies. Every year throughout 6th-8th she rejected him multiple times. Now I knew she liked him and he liked her and I didn’t want to ruin her happiness. Throughout those years I kept quiet as much as I could when Asshole would harass me. Then came Freshman year. 

Remember how I said Asshole was manipulative? Well, he learned that from his mother. He would always tell his mother that I was the one causing problems and that I wouldn’t stop insulting him. Now I never insulted him out loud until 9th grade because I finally got sick of it. 

That year I started talking back. Now, these arguments got pretty heated sometimes. He would always brag about going to ROTC and learning Taekwondo. So finally he said something about my family. That was when I snapped. This all happened in the lunch room and he was on the opposite side of the table. I stood up and like the coward he was, he backed away from the table. That was when my best friend literally tackled me to the ground so I wouldn’t get into trouble. 

A little bit after my 15th birthday rolled around she officially started dating him. Now I am a very observant person and she knows that. She waited to tell me officially 2 months later even though she knew I knew from the beginning. When I first realized it I started being quiet around Asshole again because I didn’t want her to be upset. 

However, his mother started telling other people that I was a problem child because I had Bipolar and should get help. Now first of all that is against the law since I did not give her permission. Second of all my parents dropped the charges against her hoping that her and her son would leave me alone. 

My best friend started acting differently over that year. She stopped eating and would be very anxious or moody. That was when I learned Asshole called her fat. Now that was when this really started going down. After awhile I finally got her to eat again and he kept insulting her. 

Soon something happened and her mood nose dived again. She would literally cuss out all of our friends that tried to ask what was wrong and she didn’t even speak to her mother. Now me being the persistent bitchy best friend that I am I finally got tired and asked what her problem was. 

She cussed me out and in return, I smacked her and said: “Now get it through your head that you are not fucking alone and talk to me.” I finally learned about everything. I also got her to talk to our friends and her mom again. 

He has threatened not only me but her as well and the principal kept spinning the story that it was our fault. This was because Asshole was known as the golden child and his mother was close with the principal. Then came summer break.

She broke down and I couldn’t do anything to help her. So I kept an eye on her social media to make sure she was okay. However, over the summer she met a guy that I think is pretty cool. He passed most of my tests. I do feel like he has an anger problem though and matching that with my friend's extreme jealousy I don’t know how that will go.

She is a lot happier now but she is worried about Asshole forcing himself back into the friend group. I promised her mom that I would protect her better from then on. My mother told me that I need to try my best to have no principle office visits but if he says something out of line I’m going to the super attendant. 

Here I rambled on again. Ugh, drama. Sometimes I wish I succeeded in not becoming friends with anyone in 6th grade but then again I couldn’t get rid of my Momo.

I’ll update after I get back from the first day. 

~Secret