#we shall see if i have wifi (i wont. i know i wont. -- we shall see if i find a nice internet cafe)

[ragnars-tooth]

Pretty sure I mentioned but I'm moving v v soon so probably no art for a hot second (unless I gain the braincells to articulate my david rain thowts)

[meryton-etc]

I saw @yeats-infection do this and I was so so so bored I decided it couldn’t hurt for me to do it too I shall tag @saumenschliesel, @combeferre, @likehandlingroses and anyone else who wants to do this, please do because it’s interesting to read!

ao3 name: InfiniteCalm

fandoms: I have written for many and then deleted them! At the minute it’s mostly Downton Abbey and Leonard Finch Grantchester. If you’d told me that this time last year I’d be so confused. I think then I was in the middle of the abandoned Merlin-realises-identity-politics-wont-save-him project. And of course Tolkein will forever have ownership rights to some of my brain real estate, though I find it difficult to write for that because the stories all seem quite complete to me.

number of fics: unlucky thirteen!

fic i spent the most time on: the hellish harry potter fic that was born out of a mental breakdown that i didn’t realise was a mental breakdown at the time. see if you can tell from the plot/prose/formatting....

fic i spent the least amount of time on: Lost in Translation just came and flowed and was finished during a time when that was particularly rare. I like it though! Nimona forever.

longest fic: Let’s not talk about TSOHS anymore!!!!!!

shortest fic: Let’s see... oh, it’s Photographs! I think I was 17 when I published that! So long ago... I still think the plot of this holds up, but obviously if I wrote it today I would change a great deal. Nimona was a really great webcomic, and I read it with two of my best friends. We were on a school trip once and had to go in search of wifi to steal in order to read the penultimate page. 

most hits: i’m not talking about the real most hits!! The most hits of my Downton stories is Then Came Hallelujah Sounding, which checks out I guess, since I published so close to Christmas, which seems to be peak fanfic reading time. 

most kudos: out of the Downton fics the most kudos is You’re Knee Deep in Clover. I guess because it has Daisy and Thomas dancing, Baxter/Molesley proposal etiquette and a nice little trauma response at the end. What more could you want from a fic? 

most comment threads: Wake Up (Like This) and How the Note Lingers are tied for this one! Personally I find fic comments are the best things ever ever ever and I love them so much, and I’m glad that people responded to these stories so well in particular. The comments on How the Note Lingers were so so cool so thanks to youse for writing them :) also here I would like to stress that Wake Up (Like This) was such a joke title, it is not serious, please don’t take it seriously!!

most bookmarks: Overriding the question again! Both my Grantchester fics have one each (you know who you are <3 ). I love these scmoop-ridden cliché overwritten monstrosities so much. Thomas/Richard, despite being only 30 years apart from Leonard/Daniel, is an awful lot heavier than the latter, so it can be nice to write something where you don’t first have to work out how they get to each other’s houses. 

total word count:  59,642???!!!! 

favorite fic i wrote: choose between my babies? Or conversely, everything I’ve ever written is complete and utter garbage!! (It’s wake up like this)

fic i’d rewrite / expand on: like. at this stage, i read things and i’m like, everyone who says to edit things is clearly right! everything published is riddled with typos and sentences that make no sense because i cut out what went before it without reading over the paragraph. So in that sense, all of them! if i still liked HP i would rewrite TSOHS becuase there were some (some!!!!!) good ideas there. 

share a bit of a WIP: under the cut! I have two “real” WIPs that i will not post because I’m superstitious so have a snippet of something i most likely will not post.

He’s a nervous little thing, though. A bit soft, though she’d never put it like that out loud. Sudden noises scare him- the news- traffic- his father. Too many adults looking at him have him shrinking shyly into her side, his hand searching for hers. He’s only four, she thinks desperately, he’s young enough to grow out of this stage yet, before we have to make him. He’s made friends with the little girl next door, and some of the older children are kind enough towards him, so at least there things are OK, and he’s not suffering the lack of siblings. His cousins are far away, and all older than him, though they do dote on him. And rightly enough, too. He’s a gangly, clumsy little thing, legs long, like saplings. He runs along after the other children. He’s trying his best.

...

One of the Flynns comes running in, followed by a grinning Leonard, interrupting their conversation with questions about their tea. Leonard comes over to her, his dirty little face flushed with fresh air and exercise, and he shows her the stuff they found on their adventure- bits of dirt, mostly, but not as bad as the time they brought a live leech home to show everyone. When they get home to start preparing their own tea, he makes her laugh by trying out some of Mrs Flynn’s idiosyncratic phrases in conversation. He’s full, these days, of malapropisms. But she looks at him gazing at the newspaper, tracing the headlines and frowning at the smaller print, and thinks that before long he’ll be using those words properly. He seems so young, to be sent away to school. But there it is. 

[lyxxstories]

WiFi

[ You and Jeonghan are waiting for Seungcheol to come back to the dorm so in the meantime you two try to use his wifi ] [ d r a b b l e ]

“How long is he gonna be out for?” You whined as you slumped back on the living room couch.

“Miss him already?” Jeonghan said with a smirk.

“Psh no,” You denied as you get comfy with the pillows to which you earned an eyebrow raise from him. “Okay maybe I wish he’d be back soon.”

“Thought so,”

“Hey can I know the password for the wifi?” You asked, bringing out your phone.

Who knows how long Seungcheol is going to be out for? Might as well surf through the net to kill time.

“Gonna stalk his instagram account again?” Jeonghan replied scooching next to you.

“No...”

“Please, Y/N. You’re not exactly subtle,” Jeonghan says grabbing your phone. “Shall I log in to your S.Coups fan account?”

“Give me that!”

Jeonghan laughs, stretching his arm away from you, “I thought you wanted the password?”

You stuck your tongue out at him, “It’s not a fan account. It’s just... a space... for me to you know... support the leader of Seventeen. Is that too bad?”

“Of course not. No way,” Jeonghan reassures patting your back. “Seungkwan and I follow you and we absolutely love the content.”

Your eyes widen and Jeonghan just laughed at your expression again.

“You did not-‘’

He did.

“Want me to quote the latest tweet?”

You just gave him a glare, “Hurry up and put the password in.”

“Okay okay,” he says typing away. “But I do think he should update his ig too.”

“Jeonghan please!” You exclaimed hitting his annoying face with a pillow. You could already feel your face heating up.

Note to yourself: Start a new stan account.

“Huh.” Jeonghan froze staring at your phone.

“What?”

“That’s weird.”

“What is?” You said taking a look at your phone. “You dont know your own wifi password?”

Jeonghan hands it back to you, “It’s Seungcheol’s wifi. And it seems that I actually don’t.”

You looked at his confused expression. Seemingly, the angel questions himself on not knowing.

“But why?”

Jeonghan just shrugs, “He bought it for his gaming stuff. Something about needing fast internet- I dont know.”

“Well that’s great,” You sighed, letting yourself fall back on the couch again. “What am I supposed to do now?”

Jeonghan shakes his head, still in thought. He was sure he got the password right considering he’s been mooching off Seungcheol’s wifi for a few weeks now.

The leader probably found out and changed it again. The dedication he and Wonwoo have with online games, he’ll never know.

“Wonwoo-yah!” Jeonghan shouts across the room.

“What?” Wonwoo answers just as loud.

“What’s the wifi password?” Jeonghan asks when the younger walked over. “Y/N wants to use it.”

“No way,” Wonwoo immediately denied. “Sorry, Y/N. The wifi is for gaming purposes only.”

“You dont know either huh?” You replied knowingly.

“Not a clue,” Wonwoo sighs before sitting next to you. “He wanted to focus on working out one day and decided that he’ll only tell me the password if I agreed to be his gym partner.”

“Well that sucks,” you pouted. “I can’t just sit here without internet. Who knows what’s happening right now?”

“Well we could always guess,” Jeonghan says stealing your phone again.

“I swear to God if you’re doing this just so you can snoop on my account-‘’

Jeonghan put a hand on his chest, feigning hurt, “Why I just dont want you to be bored, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes at him. You could practically see the devil horns growing from his blonde hair.

“Oh hyung, you still havent sent me Y/N’s fan account,” Wonwoo reminded causing you to gasp.

“You told him too?!”

“Don’t act so surprised,” was all the devil angel said as he guesses another password.

“You have nothing to worry about,” Wonwoo told you. “We wont tell your little crush on our leader.”

“I trust you but not him,” you said pertaining to Jeonghan, who btw has been getting slightly frustrated as all his guesses turned out to be incorrect.

“Ugh. Why did he have to change it? Cant we all just share the wifi?” Jeonghan says giving up.

“Let me try,” Wonwoo says asking for the phone. “He might have used an avatar name for a password.”

Several attempts later...

“Screw it,” Wonwoo throws your phone back. “I’m buying my own wifi and play.”

“So much for trying to kill time,” you sighed and frowned at the situation.

Just then an idea popped into Jeonghan’s mind.

“Y/N, try this,” Jeonghan then started to whisper a bunch of letters as you typed away on your phone.

“Wait a minute...” you paused for a second. “You’re just spelling my name!”

“So?” A smirk grows on Jeonghan’s lips.

“You’re not actually suggesting that-‘’

“Worth a shot,” he simply replied, smile growing.

You looked at him incredulously. There’s absolutely no way.

“Why would I be his wifi password?”

“Why not?” Wonwoo joined in. “He probably thought of you as he was changing it.”

Thought of you? But why? What does that suppose to mean?

“We’re just trying out possible passwords here, Y/N.” Jeonghan spoke again. “It’s not like it would mean something. Not unless you want it to.”

There he goes again. With that smug of a look.

“Why dont we go for your name then?”

“Oh sure. But right after yours.”

It’s strange to you how confident suddenly Jeonghan seems to be. And thats probably because he noticed that you’re not the only one who’s being obvious when it comes to a crush. Someone was especially excited today when he found out you were visiting.

“If it makes you feel better, we could try my name too.” Wonwoo said having the same teasing smirk on his face.

Jeonghan wasnt alone on noticing it either and they both knew as they exchanged looks.

“Fine,” you finally pressed enter. Both of the boys leaning closer to see the phone screen. “But I’m telling you guys, it’s not going to-‘’

“Well would you look at that,” Jeonghan chuckles.

It connected.

“I’m going to get my laptop,” Wonwoo says standing up. “Finally, I can try out the new game I bought.”

A few minutes later, Seungcheol finally got back and was welcomed with his three friends chilling at the living room and on their devices.

“I brought food,” Seungcheol called out as he places the plastic bag on the kitchen counter.

“Thanks,” Jeonghan got up and head towards the counter to take a peek of the snacks. “You were out for awhile.”

“Well when I heard Y/N was coming over, I went to get food from her favorite restaurant,” Seungcheol informed. “And you guys know how far that is.”

“Oh we do,” Jeonghan smirks as he shot you a knowing glance. You blushed and tried to hide your face with your phone.

“Yes!” Wonwoo exclaimed, a proud smile on his lips.

“What’s he so happy about?” Seungcheol asks, walking closer to them.

“He’s just having a winning streak,” Jeonghan answered.

“Yep,” Wonwoo acknowledged finally looking up from his laptop. “Wifi has a great connection. Thanks for buying this, hyung.”

“Wait...” Seungcheol took a look at his device and he really was playing.

How did he get in?

“Yah! Did you hack your way in?” Seungcheol crossed his arms.

“No,” Wonwoo snickers. “I’m not that intelligent. I just simply entered the password.”

“Enter the pass-? Jeonghan!” The angel was just smiling innocently. “Did you tell him?!”

“Only you know the password to your own wifi, Seungcheol.” Jeonghan said as a matter of a fact.

“Yeah but you’re the only one who’s been trying to mooch off my wifi for the past weeks.” Seungcheol huffed, feeling slightly irritated. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you tried to enter again.”

“As much as I’d love to take credit,” Jeonghan says. “But it wasn’t me who entered the password.”

“Then who did?”

Jeonghan just now used his eyes to tell him the answer. As Seungcheol followed his gaze, he felt his heart race when he saw you sitting on the couch, phone in hand, and scrolling through social media.

You were seriously trying to keep yourself from turning red the minute his eyes landed on you.

“Y-you got the password right?” Seungcheol stammered as he clarified.

“More like she’s the password,” Wonwoo teased quietly.

“Well sort of...” You coughed awkwardly. “Sorry.. I got bored while waiting for you so we all started to guess.”

Cue Kill Bill sirens because Seungcheol is now internally panicking.

“S-so you know?” Seungcheol clarified and you nodded slowly.

“I know,” you answered, biting your lip.

“Yep and everyone in the group chat knows too,” Jeonghan added which earned him a glare from the leader. “What? We should all share the wifi, dont you think?”

“Th-that’s f-fine,” Seungcheol tried to laugh it off, doing his best not to snap at Jeonghan. Two of the svt members were trying to retain their laughter as their leader struggled to speak. “Hahahahaha as long as you weren’t bored while I was gone, Y/N. Hahahahaha.”

“Seungcheol I-‘’

“C-could you excuse me for a second? I need to take a breather.”

And with that Seungcheol dashed to his bedroom, determined to not let his cool wash away in front of you.

“Well that was entertaining,” Jeonghan stated, the lopsided smile never leaving his face. “So are you gonna tell him about your fan account or...?”

[faketextstuff]

The Arrangement PT5

Summary:: You’ve never imagined yourself being a sugar baby but because of some playful friends and a stroke of luck, you find yourself with a man who is apparently willing to give you the moon and stars. The only problem is, no strings attached. Don’t catch feelings, don’t fall for a man who thinks money can solve all your issues and doesn’t want commitment outside of the contract.

Warnings: Angst

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

A/N:: I’m not happy with this chapter at all. I rewrote it 4 times and it still turned out like crap. I promise the good stuff is coming I just needed to introduce a few more people and give a bit of angst. I guess if you guys want a part 6 let me know. I’m sooooooo sorry this part isn’t good at all.

The next day went on as normal. Only a few texts from Yoongi throughout your day, a simple “Good morning, babygirl” and around lunch you got another text “Cant wait to see you tonight. Dont be late.” That was about it. He didnt call, to which you were glad. You were not allowed to have cellphones out at work but you still kept yours deep inside your apron at work. The closer it got time to get off, the more anxious you became. Were you really going on a date with your sugardaddy tonight? What was he expecting of you? What were you expecting of him? How was this relationship going to work. Your mind was a buzz with all the questions and causing you to become very distracted at work.

Shockingly today was much busier than a normal day. Your regular customers came in, but in the back booth near the restrooms sat a man you had never seen before. You remembered seeing him come in not long after your shift started and now you had been working for seven hours and he was still there. He had his laptop open and was busily typing away at something. It wasn’t uncommon for college students to come in and take advantage of the free Wifi your restaurant provided, but no one ever stayed for seven hours!

You chose to let the man be, and continue working the best you could. It was your last table of the night and you were carrying a tray full of half consumed glasses of red wine away from the table when out of no where, a customer pushed out their chair in front of you causing you to stumble and pour the whole tray of drinks all over yourself and the floor. A few droplets landing on the customer’s expensive looking white shoes.

You gasped, glancing down at your own red stained white shirt. “I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU! YOU CLUMSY OAF!” The customer wailed, intent on causing a scene.

“I’m so sorry!” You pleaded, bowing your head deeply in regret. “Are you alright?” You asked, glancing up through your now wine soaked hair.

The lady who had bumped into you was a rather beautiful woman. She had dyed blonde hair and appeared to be wearing expensive clothing that you had only ever seen in magazines. Her face was caked in make up but she still looked amazing and very elegant. Her expression, however, was cold and unforgiving as she glared daggers at you.

“No I’m not okay!” She squealed as everyone in the restaurant grew quiet and turned to see the scene unfolding before their very eyes. “These shoes cost a fortune and your clumsy little ass just ruined them!”

You weren’t sure how, but you managed to bow even lower, your cheeks flushing from embarrassment. “I’m so sorry. I can pay to have them replaced.” This caused the lady to scoff and wad up her napkin, throwing it in your face. “As if a lowly server like you could afford even half of what it’ll cost to replace these shoes. They were a gift! You cant replace memories!”

Her words stung and burned like a fire. You knew you were well off but did she have to insult you like that? In front of so many people. “I’m so sorry.” You muttered as your boss pushed his way over towards you and the irate customer.

He stood next to you and bowed deeply. “I am the owner of this establishment, may I ask what just happened?” He asked, sending you a glare the moment you decided to glance over at him. You knew right away he wouldn’t have your back. He never had your back and he had been looking for legit reasons to fire you. The two of you had never had a good relationship since the day you refused to put up with his sexual harassment. He didn’t take well to your rejection but you both had agreed to at least try and work in peace. He’d leave you alone and not fire if you never spoke of his failed advances. Of course he never did anything physical, just a few lewd comments here and there and lingering eyes that made you uncomfortable.

“I’ll tell you what happened!” The lady screamed, pointing a well manicured finger at you, a look of disgust etched on her face. “Your employee just spilled red wine all over my shoes! These are irreplaceable!” Her voice quivered now as she spoke. Clearly she was putting on a show for your boss who was clearly buying it by shooting you glares every so often.

“It was an accident, I didn't mean to ruin her shoes.” You muttered in a small voice, your anger was building up with each passing minute.

Your boss just held up a hand, signaling you to stop speaking that moment. The angry look in his eyes turning into something much more sinister. You averted your gaze to the floor and you were sure that you would be looking for a new job in just a few short hours, he had been searching so long for a legit reason and this woman's rage would fit right into his plans. “I apologize miss, we normally dont allow such foolish mistakes to happen in our establishment. Rest assured I will make sure this never happens again.”

The lady scoffed and grabbed her coat from the back of her chair, tossing the expensive material over her dainty shoulders.  As she opened her mouth to speak, another voice came from behind you. “I believe you're overacting, Miss. It was clearly an accident on this young woman's part. Yours however is debatable.”

As you turned your head, you saw the man who had been sitting alone in the back booth all day walking up to the three of you. His smile was bright and very inviting, however his tone didn't match his warm friendly smile. His voice was dripping with venom as he spoke, standing right behind you. His dark gaze never once faltering from the woman's. You turned your eyes back to the women who had a deer in headlights look on her face, her face going pale. “Hoseok?” She muttered out, her body visibly tensing.

“I saw you watching this woman gathering up those wine glasses and you waited until she got right behind you to push your chair out. To anyone it would appear that you set up this girl to spill the wine all over herself.” The man spoke again, his head tilting to the side slightly.

“That’s ridiculous, Jung Hoseok!” The lady snapped back. Mention of the man's name caused the restaurant to erupt into whispers.

Your own eyes went wide and your head shot over to the man behind you, sure enough this was Jung Hoseok. You had seen him on TV many times, he was a famous dance instructor that was the head and face of many dance colleges and he worked with all the best idols, mapping out their dances. If anyone was dancing, it was normally to his choreography.

“I think I can provide several people who would agree that a childish stunt like this isn't beneath you, Caroline.” Hoseok's eyes narrowed and his tone lowered, making him sound much more threatening. “Shall I call one of them now? I'm sure he'd love to get this phone call.”

The lady, “Caroline”, quickly shook her head and grabbed up her purse. “No. That wont be necessary.” She spoke in a hurried tone before glancing at your boss. “I'll forgive this incident once, make sure this doesn't happen again.” She snapped before walking past you, intentionally knocking your shoulder with hers as she walked past, causing you to stumble back into Hoseok who placed his hands on your shoulders. Making sure you didn't fall.

Once Caroline walked out of the door your boss turned to you, his eyes burning with rage, “Miss L/N, please come to my office. I need to speak with you in private.”

“Hold on a second, don't take this out on her. She's innocent.” Hoseok once again came to your rescue, placing himself between you and your boss.

“It's okay, sir.” You spoke softly, bowing lowly to him. “Thank you for your assistance and sticking up for me.” Before he could open his mouth to speak you quickly followed your boss towards the back where you knew the fate that awaited you beyond the old wooden doors. Once inside and locked away from the public, your boss let loose a string of verbal assaults that had your eyes brimming with tears. He scolded you for being noticeably distracted all day, for being careless enough to clear a table that wasn't in your section that resulted in the scene that just unfolded. Every time you tried to defend yourself, he shot you back down with something else you had done wrong in the past, it wasn't a long list but with the venom in his voice it almost had you painted to be the worst server he had ever had the misfortune of working with.

“I swear to god, Y/N! I don't know where your head is but causing a scene today in front of everyone, especially in front of Jung Hoseok, is unforgivable! I know you've worked hard in the past but I cannot allow you to continue working here after something like that.” He sighed while rubbing his temples.

You brought your hands up and wiped away the tears that managed to slip down from your eyes. A soft sniffle coming from you. “Please don't fire me. I can't afford to lose my job right now. I'm already behind on this months rent...and last months. What happened today was an accident and it clearly wasn't my fault.”

“Your financial problems are not my concern! My only concern is making this restaurant grow and gain more popularity. How do you think it's gonna effect business to see if that woman leaves a nasty review of our establishment? I cannot allow this to happen. I'm sorry, but...” He paused, shaking his eyes as he pulled the paychecks from his desk, handing you an envelope that had your name on it. “This is your last full check from us. If you want, keep the tips you've earned from your tables, but that is all I can do for you. Please collect your things and go home. I'll mail you your final paycheck next week.”

You stood there in shock for a few moments before stepping forward, snatching the paycheck from his hand. “Don't play dumb, you firing me has nothing to do with what happened today. You wanted me gone since I refused to suck your dick for better hours. You can take this job and shove it up your stuck up, wannabe rich boy ass. Good luck finding an employee that'll work the shit hours you gave me for such little pay. You alone will run this place into the ground, not one crazy lady's bad review.”

You surprised yourself with the rage that flowed from you as you snapped at your boss who sat there slack jawed and wide eyed at your little outburst. You didn't even give him time to speak before turning swiftly and rushing out of the office. You had to get out of there, fast and now!

After grabbing your things, you ran out of the restaurant, angry tears falling down your face as you stomped away from the building. You didn't get far until you noticed Hoseok waiting by the curb beside a large black SUV, and he wasn't alone. Next to him stood the one man who weren't expecting to see, at least not for several hours, Yoongi.

Time seemed to stand still the moment his eyes locked onto yours. His expression was a mixture of anger and sadness the moment he saw you. He stepped away from Hoseok and slowly made his way over to you. His large hands going up to cup your face the moment you tried to look away. The pads of his thumbs wiping away the fresh tears that began to stream down your face. “Babygirl.” He sighed, tilting your head up so your eyes met his.

As your eyes met his, your lower lip quivered and unable to stop yourself you stepped forward, wrapping your arms around him. You weren't sure why but in this moment, all you wanted was a hug from him. Something to comfort you and make you feel even an ounce better. You hated showing a man you hardly knew this moment of weakness but you were scared. You were now jobless and if you couldn't pay rent, soon you'd be homeless. You half expected him to pull away from you so you just held him as tight to your body as you could and buried your face in his suit coat.

He never pulled away, much to your surprise, instead he wrapped both his arms tightly around your shoulders and held you tight to his chest, his chin resting on your shoulder as he rubbed your back soothingly. “It's okay, baby. I got you.” He muttered softly into your ear.

“W-Why are you here?” You managed to ask, trying desperately to dry up your tears.

“Hoseok is a friend of mine. He called me and told me what happened. I was on this side of town so I had to come check on my girl.” He muttered, his fingers running up and down your back slowly causing you to relax in his arms. You found it odd that a friend of Yoongi's happened to be at your restaurant only hours after the contract signing but honestly, in this moment you could careless. You were just glad he showed up to check on you. “I can explain everything in the car. Let me take you home so you can get a shower.”

You shook your head and turned your head so your cheek was pressed to his chest, your ear right over his heart that you could hear was beating extremely fast. “I don't care, I'm just glad you're here right now.” You confessed. His arms around you giving you a gentle squeeze.

“I'll always be here for you, Babygirl.” He sighed before pulling away slightly, his hand gently taking yours as he pulled you towards his car. “Let's go. I want to hear everything from you in the car.”

Nodding, you slid into the open back door before giving Hoseok a sad smile. Yoongi went to get in after you but paused just long enough to turn towards his friend, his expression hardening for just a moment. “Find Caroline. I don't care what it takes, find out where that bitch is staying.” He hissed. You were a bit taken back at the tone Yoongi used but said nothing.

“I will. Leave it to me.” He nodded before shutting the door after Yoongi got into the back with you.

He instructed the driver to go by just telling him to go home. The two of you sat in silence for a long moment, his hand still gripping yours. You turned your hand so your fingers laced with his as you two just sat there both looking of opposite windows. Your free hand was wiping away the remainders of your tears before you turned to look at him. “Who is she?”

Yoongi sighed softly and lowered his head for a moment, not once looking over at you. “She's a virus. One that keeps popping up.” He muttered, just jaw clenching slightly. “Remember how I told you that the contract was to help protect you from my former women? Well, she's the main one.”

“Oh..” You muttered while glancing down at your hand that was still held in his, your heart dropping down into the pits of your stomach.

“Somehow she found out who you were and went after you instead of me. How she found you so quickly, I don't know. Normally she goes after me and tries to get in me a scandal. I'm so sorry. I intended on keeping you out of this. I didn't think she'd go as far as to show up to your work.” He glanced over to you and with his free hand, he placed two fingers under your chin and lifted your head so he could see your face. “That's why I had Hoseok watching out for you. I was worried about your safety. I came as soon as he called me saying she was there but she was long gone by the time I got there.”

“It's not your fault. My boss was looking for a reason to fire me, she just gave him the out he needed to get rid of me.” You sighed, scooting over closer to him so you could rest your head on his shoulder.

Yoongi stiffened and let out a low sigh of frustration. “He fired you? After Hoseok told him it was all her fault?”

You nodded and just sighed softly. “I came onto me once and said he'd pay me more and give me better hours if I agreed to sleep with him, of course I refused so he always wanted me gone since then.”

“I'll kill him.” Yoongi growled softly, his hand releasing yours as he wrapped his arms almost protectively over your shoulder and pulled you closer to him.

“Don't get upset. It was a long time ago.” You shook your head and nuzzled closer into his side, the chill from the still soaked shirt making you shiver. “He'll get whats coming to him in the end. One day some will put him in his place and he'll lose everything he's worked for. The only reason I endured it was because it's so hard for find a job these days.”

Yoongi moved so his head was resting on top of yours, his fingers playing with the sticky strands of your hair. “I can help you until you get back on your feet.”

“I dont want your money, Yoongi. I got myself into this mess I can figure a way out.”

This caused him to laugh softly and turn his head so his lips brushed against the top of your head. “Babygirl, you still haven't figured out this sugardaddy thing have you? I signed a contract to pay you and take care of you while you give me company. Helping you in what I'm going to do. I'm also going to protect you from Caroline. I swear she wont get close to you again. Once I find her I'm gonna make sure she's locked up in a nice padded room where she cant hurt anyone again.”

You smiled softly for the first time that day since you received his text messages and just closed your eyes. For a moment you felt better, like even though you lost your job, that everything was going to be okay as long as you had this man by your side. Which was an odd feeling for you since you had only just met him.

The rest of the car ride went on in silence until you found yourself back at his office building. “What are we doing here?” You asked with an arched brow, your head lifting from his shoulder. “I thought you were taking me home?”

“I never said your home, babygirl. You got to go in, get a shower and then I have a friend who is going to take you someplace nice so you can get ready for our date tonight. You've had a rough day so for the rest of the day you're about to be pampered like the queen you are until I come to get you.” He smirked slightly.

[noctomania]

my landlord needs to shit or get off the pot. he's been tiptoeing around eviction for months now. He's made sure to let me know that I would be allowed to stay but that we (meaning me) have ti replace the other two.

Well guess what. he needs to first tell them as much. and he hasnt. it has been like 2 weeks since he said he intended to terminate their tenancy. nothing. no notice yet. which is leaving me with less and less time to get reliable people.

this process is fairly simple....if people pulk their own fucking weight. so now im anticipating all kinds of disaster. let us run through the list of my anxieties, shall we:

1- the same things happening again. from the process of finding people to the point we're at now. Most if not all can be attributed to people not giving me advanced enough notice and people dropping the ball and everything resulting in me having to repeat a process i should only have had to do once 3 times.

2- me ending up in a tight place and having to give up most of my belongings as well as a big chunk of my savings. if i dont have time i cant find someone and then i will have no choice but to move and since it will be at the tail end of things then i would probably not end up with a nice place. ill have to settle for whatever i can get.

3- winding up with shitty roommates again. the reason i have the shitty roommate to begin with is that she was the only option i had left. she was nowhere on my priority list.my first pick which was a couple who were going to take both rooms and would have made my life 10x easier - the landlord dropped the ball and didnt call them so they took another deal. i had to start interviews all over again and in the end i had to settle for 2 unemployed people.

4- late notice to terminate may cause backlash from my current roommates. the worst of the two has an attitude problem and im not confident she would maintain any level of maturity in the process. i have no doubt she will make the entire process much more difficult than it needs to be and that she may even dig her heels in and claim that we have no right to not renew her lease. even though nobody wants her here. she also has SO. MUCH. SHIT. i fear it will take her ages to get it out. i wont hesitate to have it removed and/or donated if she tries it though.

5- insecurity. one of my current roommates has had lots of various people in and out. im not 100% confident that people who arent on the lease dont have keys. so i will likely be requesting a replacement lock so i dont have strangers letting themselves in. even though im fairly confident absolutely no rental unit ive ever lived in ever changed their locks. ill also need to make sure nobody is still on our wifi cuz i know that has been a circus.

6- wreckage. IF we can get them out on time and IF i dont suffer any personal issues, i will likely still have to clean up after them. as i had to for the last roommates. i honestly don't know how bad their rooms are. i worry mostly about one over the other because i know she never cleans her room. Also im worried they will also be both careless and rushed while they move and cause damages to occur. technically i do know how to properly repair minor damages like an accidental hole in drywall, but id really rather not. im not sure how willing my landlord would be to have someone come by.

7- either one of them making this longer and harder than it has to be. as it is it is a lot of time and effort to find people and process them. if i have to deal with someone trying some bullshit like making up a case of why the landlord isnt allowed to do this -- i may go insane. they both have tried to make false claims that the landlord was up to shady business when he would inform me when either one of them hadnt paid rent, so i wouldnt put it past them to try and make a case out of it simply to buy time. one of them i know has no issue with lying to people's faces so, we'll have to see.

8- the stress renders me ill and makes doing any of this that much more of an uphill battle. or i totally lose it and become unable to function at all.

9- current roommates trying to sabotage the chance of pinning anyone down by making false claims or dramatizing something when i show them the rooms.

10- idk if i can think of one for this but i needed it to be an even 10 because who stops at 9? perhaps this worry is that rent will go up with a new contract. i have signed 3 times now and never has he raised the rent which im eternally grateful for but with the bumassness of my current roommates i worry that he will have a change of heart and up rent as insurance.

I hate waiting. I hate having to just sit on my thumb because whoever is in my way is sitting on their thumbs. i want to tackle my problems not wait til they get worse. if i can tackle it now why wait?? normally i procrastinate a lot but not when it comes to ensuring i have a roof over my head and food in my cupboard. if the landlord doesn't get in gear im not gonna stick around. as much as i want to save money that wont happen if im the only one doing anything productive. im beyond tired of having to pick up after everyone else. you either show gratitude in the form of taking control of your responsibilities or im OUT.

im slightly sad too because i had been lookin at apartments before my current landlord said hed be kickin the others out and there was a place that had a study included with the bedroom. i was offered the spot but i had to turn them down because of the landlords promise and because i didnt want to spend more money than i needed to. While i can mend some of my woes by focusing on potential downsides to have taken that place, i cant ignore the fact that i would have been freed of so much responsibility.

we'll see. i emailed the landlord to try and kick him in the behind so hopefully that has some effect. now is not the time to test my patience.

[whatifwechange]

First For Everything: Boys, Toothaches, and Missed Opportunities.

Currently sitting in my room eating a rice pudding whilst waiting for the WiFi to turn back on…. it did. the funny thing is now I have to compete my essay due tomorrow. Kinda hoping the internet was down. This past week has been crazy. First off, I’m learning to trust people more and make plans and stick to them. I did a photoshoot with Mrinal where we went to “Allan Garden” and had a blast. I haven't spoken to Mrinal in so long so we caught up on the train about boys… what else?! She has her own thing with a boy named Keshav and some other boy who goes to OCAD. I told her about Tom and how I missed my opportunity with him.

QUICK SIDE NOTE: I really do like Tom, a lot but I lost my chance. He asked me out numerous time and I said “idk” or “no” to all three, but now as i mature (a month), I’ve come to realize I really do like him, except theres one thing in my way (another girl).

Anyway, yesterday James and I closed and had a nice talk with Kirsten. I told her about my love triangle- maybe its now four because CJ! I don't actually like the kid, but i promised him a date and a date he shall get! I told her about James being my old flame and Tom my anew, but i got the sense that she wasn't pushing Tom for me. and that sucked because nobody is really rooting for us, except maybe me. Not even Nicole which is strange. At first, Divon was the starlight of the conversation until i told her about Tom, we confirmed an age and its 22, ya’ll! I like that age a lot. She didn't seem excited about it, but i thought so as she always loved the idea of James and I. James comes back in from his “spot sweep” with Dimetri and is high as a kite. Kirsten spoke to him too and I guess about life and love and me…

Fast Forward: Today at 5:00, Me and James hanging out in Demetres, we had a nice time, he asked me about Tom but of course I diverged from the question, slyly. it was nice and cool I suppose. We talked about our interactions with Kirsten and had a row I guess I told him about my Gatsby analogy, which I’ll be making in my own personal journal (stay tuned). we then ran into Kyle and Jendayi… so odd but I mean they have lives too. Which got me thinking wow they take public transportation all the time and so do I. (we are similar lol.) great analogy but i was thinking about this while walking in the wind.

MY INNER FEELINGS (gross): I like Tom. I like James (not as much as before and not as much as Tom rn). But Tom and Ke-Xin seem like they have something going on, I don't want to be a home wrecker if they are and keeping it a secret, but i should have gave Tom a chance when I had one, but I’m so stupid and shy. If I could turn back time and know what i know now, I’d be like “Yes, Tom, let’s go” I can genuinely see myself having a good time with him. I see the way he pokes her, they same he does with me, I don't know if i’m getting played right now by Tom or if he honestly doesn't know how i’m feeling. I wish i was upfront with how i feel but lamely, i can only talk about that on this laptop to nobody or my fellow viewers i guess. I feel like I missed an opportunity with Tom, and by the grace if God, please do something about it. I don't want whatever Tom and I have to end this way. I wont go down and have Ke-xin rise. I mean we should both be lifting each other up but rn… i kinda want to win my prize. So Tom if you’re out there ask me again and i swear I’ll say yes this time :)

Sincerly, Danielle or the girl who just can make up her damn mind.