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#we should be nice to people more often @_@
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really wish my one friend would quit flirting with me. and trying to goad me into hanging out more. and assigning us fictional characters that are oh-so-coincidently either couples or with romantic tension. and then interrupting our gameplay to ask me repeatedly if I think they’re “like us” (which they rarely are…). and matching my icon on discord without asking (again, usually by insinuating a couple connection). and giving me random things I do not want and did not ask to receive (and then forcing me to take them???).
#storyrambles#it’s not creepy. just for context. it’s just irritating because I’ve told this person repeatedly that I’m not interested in romance.#this person is also naturally a huge romantic so it is next to impossible to tell whether it’s actual flirtation or just flirting for fun#flirting for fun is cool. I wouldn’t mind that. but if I do it once this person will take that as an invitation to do it an excessive amoun#but yeah after being given 12 roses out of the blue when I said ‘no don’t buy me flowers’. there’s only so many things that can mean#‘it’s nice to see your face you always cover it!’ …I’m masking. because of covid#I’m narrating a game and suddenly ‘I like hearing your voice I should call you every day so I can hear it for 10 minutes’. …no.#‘you have to take the snack I brought you know it’s rude to refuse a gift’ I have never refused a gift. It is rude. But also I didn’t ask.#‘you know this game is one you can play without talking so we can play more often!’ we already play games once a week for usually 3 hours.#‘but it’s not talking so it’s less social energy’ no. that is not how it works.#sorry for the rant im just. tired.#you know those people who are so pleasant to hang out with and then they try way too hard#and that’s actually what makes things awkward? rather than when they’re just being themselves?#yeah. that’s this friend here.#usually I go along with the bit but when I can never tell when the bit is actually a bit#and you insist on me taking on the ‘girl role’ for most of them#I am not going to play along.#UGH don’t get me started on the ‘you’re cute when you’re flustered’#I wasn’t even flustered. I was trying to do mental math while running on four hours of sleep and he was staring directly at me#it’s uncomfortable.#also. I never want to hear that again. fuck. ‘you’re cute when you’re angry’ ‘you’re cute when you’re upset’ ALL THE FUCKING TIME AS A KID#will I be so cute after I kick you in the nuts? will I?#(for clarity I don’t want to kick him. I want to kick those other people.)#I need a lot of alone time. I really do. I can do 3 hours and then I will be drained for the rest of the day.#‘how did you grow up? did you not talk to your mom for more than 3 hours a day?’#first of all. that’s different?#secondly we actually regularly do separate things without talking to each other. or go in separate rooms to take some time to ourselves#also I don’t have to be on high alert for if I’m going to be flirted with. so.#ugh. I like him as a friend. I really do. I know this all makes it seem like the opposite. I try so hard to be as nice as possible.#but UGHHHHHH
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doctorweebmd · 4 months
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i love the comments on the latest chapter of the path to paradise where people are like 'akutagawa leave those crabs alone!'
because that's something I do
literally traveling the world's oceans, harassing all of God's crustaceans
for example took a weekend trip with my partner for our 6 year wedding anniversary a few days ago and spent a solid multiple hours searching for and harassing crabs
here is photo evidence of the largest and most in-chargest one I found:
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iri-scrublord · 4 months
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Fresh Season 2 Weapon Review
Once again, I'm putting my faith in the automatic cut. If it doesn't show up for you guys, god help you. Or press the...what is it? J key? K key? One of those skips to the next post.
Below there be thoughts on the weapons that came out.
The Whale In The Room
There're less weapons each time one of these damn seasons comes out. The first season of each era bans a bunch of the old weapons as they figure out the balance with the new stuff. That's fine, there was still a ton of stuff to go through. The second season of the De-Recall era introduced 13 weapons.
The third introduced twelve. The fourth introduced eleven. Ten. Nine. Eleven. And this new one coming up has eight.
Squidforce is losing steam. If I've said it before, I'll say it again. They're a bunch of boomers and need to go. Get some fresh minds in there. Like me. I'll run the damn league I don't give a damn, you think I don't know my way around weapon and stage logistics? Hell, maybe I'll even allow all of the idols I sponsor to, I don't know, participate in the damn sport.
I'm not going to rant again about accessibility, I did that last time. But it's a damn sin that Big Man has to sit there, on a podcast, and wax poetic about turf and ranked - sorry, anarchy - and the only time he gets to hold the fuckin' weapons is when he's working his second job at war because Grizz doesn't give a shit about regulations (Thank Squod).
Anyway. #DownWithSF.
TL;DRs in the tags.
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Deco's .52 Gal (w/ Curling Bomb and Splattercolor Screen)
I'm trying a new formatting thing with the titles. It's going to be a little less consistent with what people actually call the weapons, but I want to highlight the developers of the kits a little more. There's a lot of work that goes into making even the worst kits, and it's not fair to the engineers at each company not to shout out who made them.
I've already given my view on the Splattercolor Screen last time, so I'm not going to go on and on about it. They did rework it, but barely. Still gives you damn achromatopsia, but...I dunno, it's not as bad as before. Dialed it back, I guess. Blegh.
The weapon itself...? I mean it's fine? The .52 didn't really need a tool for getting in like the Curling Bomb, it's got healthy ink spread and decent range. Curling Bomb is usually best on weapons that either have trouble inking or short range.
Course, that's me trying to be impartial. If you want to know my bias, I love curling bombs because it's so much fun to splat people with them. It's almost as embarrassing as dying to a Sprinkler.
That's besides the point though. If I'm going to be forced to think about the synergy with...that thing...I guess it provides pretty good area denial. The .52 is a scary enough weapon that it can take out opponents at a safe distance, and anyone heading through the screen is going to be at even more of a disadvantage than they normally would be going into neutral with it. The curling bombs don't add much, though.
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Custom's E-Liter 4K and E-Liter 4K Scope (w/ Squid Beakon and Kraken Royale)
So. I've been one to rag on E-Liters in the past. Like literally last season, I ragged on them. And before grading this weapon, I'd like to retract some of my previous statements.
E-Liters are perfectly respectable weapons, capable of being played in skilled and interesting ways.
It's you saltlicks that just sit in the same damn place for five minutes doing sweet FA but looking down your sights that piss me the fuck off. Do you spend your free time watching paint dry? Do you put your meals in the microwave at low power just so you can watch that shit turn for thirty minutes? The hell are you doing playing this sport when you could pick up the well-respected and more-your-speed human game of FUCKING BACKGAMMON
Anyway. The actual weapon. Once again, freaky special, but I did try it. Don't say I never did anything for you guys. And...I like it. E-Liter at its base is a very solid support weapon. Even just seeing one on the other team is psy-ops, and as long as you can convince the enemy that you're a threat, you don't actually have to follow through on too much to keep them on their toes. Squid Beakons are great to mobilize your team, since you won't be on the front lines unless you're a Battle E-Liter (respect). And the Kraken works wonders to get people off of you. Just try and use it smart, don't chase people off into the wild blue and get caught with your pants down when it expires.
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Custom's Explosher (w/ Splash Wall and Triple Splashdown)
Ahhh, Triple Splashdown. The noobkiller. Menace to turf, nigh inconsequential to ranked - sorry, anarchy.
I like this kit. Explosher has always had a lot of trouble keeping people off of it, and its base kit of Point Sensor and Ink Storm didn't really do much to help it. But this one's got a Splash Wall to give a bit of buffer (though you're going to need to stack some Ink Savers if you want to do anything after throwing one), and Triple Splashdown as a panic button.
I don't normally like panic buttons at the best of times, but this is a weapon that really needs one. Getting rushed down sucks as this thing, and having some tools to help with being harrassed by Splooshes and the like really helped it out.
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Dolphin's Dread Wringer (w/ Squid Beakon and Wave Breaker)
I don't like Squid Beakons quite as much on this guy. The Wave Breaker works nicely with such a slow but terrifying weapon. I love Wave Breakers on any kind of mid-to-long range slosher that can take advantage of tags over walls. So...most of them. But Squid Beakon?
I mean this thing isn't going to be on the front lines all the time, sure, and it never hurts to have beakons on the team, but...I don't know, I feel like if the team tried a little harder, Dolphin could have found something better for it. Hell, Dolphin makes Sprinklers, right? I would have taken a Sprinkler over Beakons to make for even more consistent specials.
Eh, I dunno. The Wave Breaker's nice.
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Foil's Flingza Roller (w/ Suction Bomb and Splattercolor Screen)
I love the finish on this thing. The Flingza Roller to begin with is one of my favourite weapons to look at. Weird, rustic, industrial. The folding mechanism needs constant upkeep, sure, with a roller whose entire gimmick revolves around the flick, that's only natural, but it's so simple yet so great. And the navy blue finish is just, chef's kiss, y'know?
And yeah, another Splattercolor Screen, you knew they were coming.
...
Okay, I'm stalling a little. I freaking love this weapon. I loved the original Flingza, and as much as I wanted to hate this thing because of its special, I don't. I really don't. Suction Bombs just feel so good to make people scatter like minnows. And until Dynamo stops sucking major ass, this is the closest we're going to have to a long range roller. With Suction and Screen, this thing excels at flushing people out and following through. And I HATE that I think that because I still fucking hate the Screen.
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Deco's Glooga Dualies (w/ Point Sensor and Trizooka)
First off, absolutely love the finish. Striking. They look like power tools.
But other than that? I dunno, they're...good. They're good. Tagging is always nice, though I kind of wish that they had the dart instead. More weapons need that thing, and I think it's neat. I could probably fit a dart onto Gloogas if I really wanted to, though I'm not sure I'd be able to make it league legal (#DownWithSF).
But I'm digressing. Going into a fantasyland where I get to make my own kits for league.
There's just not much exciting or standout about it, y'know? Tag someone, take 'em out. Tag someone, take 'em out. Gloogas are a pretty terrifying weapon as they are, and this is just a way more aggressive kit. But it's not like....burst bomb aggressive.
...Or line marker - sorry, Angle Shooter aggressive. (Nouveau I swear to god please change the name)
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Shelly and Donny's Nautilus '79 (w/ Suction Bomb and Triple Splashdown)
What a gorgeous weapon. The gold-rimmed finish? God. Sheldon knows how to make 'em. Or, I should say, not Sheldon. I happen to know that this one was designed and manufactured by Shelly and Donny, the little guys that run the stores in Inkopolis. They look pretty young (I haven't asked ages) but for their first crack at a weapon kit they did a pretty good job. Pick this weapon up if you can. Even if they're in the pocket of Squidforce, it's always good to support up-and-coming designers.
Beyond the looks, this thing is serviceable. (Sorry, guys, but I'm not going to mince words just because you're new. Feedback is feedback, and if you only get gilded phrases you'll never grow!) Suction Bomb and Triple Splashdown is an alright combo, respectable, though I get the inkling that the two of them had Squidforce breathing down their neck trying to make them include one of the new specials in this thing. I haven't gotten a Splashdown dev kit yet, so I don't know how actually hard it is to work with, so I'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt and say that they did the best they could under the circumstances.
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Dolphin's New Squiffer (w/ Autobomb and Zipcaster)
Fuck you guys they put a fun weapon in the game.
I don't care if it fucking sucks or is the best thing on the planet it's fucking fun okay
We can have a fun weapon every so fucking often as a treat
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Custom's Douser Dualies FF (w/ Ink Mine and Killer Wail 5.1)
Alright, on to the brand new weapons they introduced. The meat of it.
That is to say the fucking pair of them come the FUCK ON-
These guys are interesting. Love the firehose inspiration, Custom's really been coming out lately. Three new kits (The E-Liter and Scope count as one) and a brand new weapon in a single season? Jeez, guys, slow down!
As for effectiveness, I like the special on them. They're pretty long range as it is, but they've got a damn slow kill time if they don't roll, and if they roll, they don't have the damn long range anymore. So the Wail really helps them out.
I think if I had to use a word t describe the Dousers it'd be 'underestimated'. That's probably going to wear off the more we see them, and understand how they work, but they just don't look like they should have the range that they do. Those hydraulic pumps do wonders man, what I wouldn't give for a three month internship at Custom. Custom's weapon department. I don't want to be stuck making actual fucking power tools.
Sub's a wash.
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Sorella's Recycled Brella 24 Mk I (ft. Ammo Knights) (w/ Angle Shooter and Big Bubbler)
So you might be looking at the name and going "oh damn that's familiar"
And you might look at the aesthetic of it and go "Oh damn that's familiar"
And I kind of gave the game away by putting it in the heading but...yeah! This is a collaborative weapon between Sorella and Ammo Knights! Sheldon's never actually had the opportunity to make a brella before this, because Sorella's got a patent down on the damn things. Same reason I haven't been able to make any either. (Same reason they're all kinda dogshit tbh)
But they actually opened up the golden gates for a bit to let someone else in! And it's my man Sheldon! How did he do??
....Bad. Sheldon did bad.
Or, more accurately, I think Sorella did bad. I can see Sheldon's character in here. He always makes weird and interesting weapons with cool catches to them. This one's definitely the power in the shaft, and the fast-launching canopy. The aesthetics are so fucking good, too, I love what he did with it.
But I can feel Sorella's influence creeping over this thing like black fucking sludge. It's slow, the canopy's a joke, and what is that KIT? Big Bubbler??? On this???? Are you fucking joking?????
I'm so sorry they had to do you like this Sheldon I'm so fucking sorry
And that's Fresh Season 2. Done literally what, two hours before Sizzle Season 2 comes out.
I'm going to try and get that review done in time before the last minute, I promise, just...I dunno. Had a weird bit in the middle of the season where I just kinda. Existed, for a bit.
Side note, anybody get that? Like, two weeks in or something, you just got this striking sense of ennui, like your thoughts all just vanished for a couple of days? I talked to a few guys and they felt the same thing around the same time. Promise this isn't a race thing, but octos got hit especially hard. Hope you're all okay.
Take care of yourselves, guys. Burnout's real.
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july-19th-club · 2 years
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me age seven being sat down in front of the school’s district child psych lady and being given strange, simple spatial puzzles to solve and then long, complicated worksheets and hammering my way through them at the speed of light while having zero comprehension what their purpose was or why i was here: this is urgent! i have to get a good grade in Weird Puzzles, Or Else, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,
#kjalkjsdalkjasdl mrs button was a nice lady but not one adult in my childhood ever seemed to notice what to me now seems like#a pretty obvious case of the autisms#then again maybe they just didn't look as hard unless it was *really* obvious back then . it was like. what. 2000? a couple years later#everybody was talking about autism but not when i was six or seven then it was usually just when it was Very Visible#a couple years later my cousin who's more visibly on the spectrum than me got her diagnosis so young that she's pretty much always had it#which is...well i think it's just made her life difficult in a different way. people underestimate her or don't treat her like she's her age#but then she's always had the opportunity to get accommodations and people are sometimes more forgiving when she can't do something#whereas i got labeled 'kid that should be ahead of the game' from a pretty young age and then when i struggled adults either ignored it#or it was just a huge hassle to them and even i could see it exasperated them to have to work around me#but because mrs button (nice lady but what were you thinking) hadn't told them to treat me like a kid with a developmental disorder#they didn't do that in good OR bad ways . so i never got any accommodations with school stuff i struggled with which was a fair bit#i wasn't supposed to need extra testing time in a quiet room or tutoring with math or help organizing my abysmally scattered things#the only time i DID get that was in sixth grade when i was sort-of friends with this kid jonathan who was Very On The Spectrum#he wasn't really a talker unless it was about whatever he was reading which suited me fine so we just kind of existed in each other's space#and his TSS was this very smart and nice lady who had clearly clocked that Something Was Going On With Me and even though it wasn't like#her JOB she made a little bit of time for me. mostly with emotional stuff (i think i was under the impression she was a therapist?)#but if i had some problem with being unable to keep friends or being frozen out by the kids i wanted to be liked by (happened often)#she'd be able to just like. be there she'd make the time . wish i could remember her name
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nexus-nebulae · 8 months
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odd thing we've noticed. the less okay we are the smaller our active system gets
#like logically you'd think we'd get more members while stressed but we don't usually#we actually split way more often when we're feeling okay and alive#i think it has something to do with mental bandwidth#like when mental health bad we don't have enough mental energy to put towards the system#so we just. reduce a lot in size. to make the workload easier#like a few months ago we had about 100+ people active at once all rotating out frequently and cofronting a TON#and now we're down to like. three or four active the rest really only able to be active for a few minutes at a time#we're just too exhausted to deal with the chaos of so many people so it kinda. slows down a ton#it's hard to get used to when everything was So Loud before. its kinda scary sometimes#like damn. i cant just call Incredibly Specific Task Guy to deal with this task i really cannot do right now. that kinda sucks#but knowing that this is like. more bc of the fact that we Can't Deal With Much More Than This makes it a little easier#we're a bit like my current computer. shit ass RAM bc its got like 50 malware (illnesses) on it#and once i get a new computer (get a little better and more functional) i can get back to multitasking#side note my god my RAM on this computer is shit running tumblr and minecraft at the same time totally breaks it#like it makes the Entire Computer run at 10 fps it's Great#i'm getting a new one at the end of this month hopefully#and hopefully Actually Nice Thing Accomplished will also help brain a lot#also not having to stress about how annoying to use our computer is should help lmao
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twilightarcade · 3 months
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Talked to my cousin who I haven't seen in years
#wordstag#holy fuck........ she's like#If my sister lived across the country. I actually don't know where I would be without her.#gave me a bunch of life advice and such.. was really nice to hear her voice again. I cried.#I kind of miss my cousins I should talk to them more. Especially the ones around my age#This cousin in particular though she's in biology! Medical biology specifically. That's like mecore if I wasn't a coward#I honest to god wish her the best. From the bottom of my heart. I should've gotten her phone number...#she said she would have to take a trip up here to say hi to me.. what I wouldn't give to drop everything and go down there right now#lowkey was struggling today but like. Crops watered sheets changed water drunk. So on and so forth.#I'm gonna Do It. For her in particular.#you've gotta collect people who genuinely wish you the best then Do It For Them; yknow?#would be rude to not... many such cases. I ♡ my friends and relatives and acquaintances and colleagues and everyone#Honest to god though I miss them . Like everyone down there. Never really knew a lot of them personally#but it always felt like home yknow? It's nice to feel at home. I Do wonder how her mom is doing..? I forget if it was her mom or#just her grandma. Regardless I hope she's doing well.#Man. What If The Course Of My Life Was Drastically Altered And I Spent My Childhood Years There Instead?#often a question I ask myself. Don't think we're ever gonna get an answer. Can only imagine...#can't help but feel a distance from any one culture yknow? But that's a whole different post topic we don't have time for that right now#anyways. Talk 2 yr friends and family. Literally life saving at times. Sometimes they're genuinely excited to talk to you? Like on god?#People spectacularly don't immediately forget you and what sort of impact you've had on them... wild stuff.
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skyjynxart · 1 year
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It's always rlly fascinating like- assessing my own reaction to other artists pricing.
Like I saw someone selling chibis- nice chibis in a lineless style with moderate shading and really good shapework/posing- for $101 and it was, just like always, a sort of- climbing response.
Stage 1: *choking on air* you're fucking INSANE who will pay that?
Stage 2: Jesus the cahones on this one- oh to have that kind of confidence--
Stage 3: reminded that industry professionals for book illustrations are often paid $1000 per image on the low end
Stage 4: coming to terms with the fact that myself and many other artists are actually just chronically underpaid. $101 for a chibi is not expensive- just like a $15 minimum wage is not unreasonable. My $100 for a finished painting is the equivalent of paying your barista $2.50/hour in 2020+
Stage 5: but no seriously how do you find people who will actually PAY THAT I'm asking for a friend
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burinazar · 1 year
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It's funny stepping back into fandom spaces where most people are within my general age range or older after making so many younger friends in MiAbyss fandom* so when i go back to my old stomping grounds of LOGH or T&B or Star Trek or Vorkosiverse or the BJD hobby or just the whole entire SFF/genre fiction reader+writer sphere and it's like oh ok yeah. i'm not really thaaaaaaattttt humongously old i guess. because to be honest with you sometimes in other contexts i feel like the club penguin 18+ elderly penguin
*not to erase those of you in there who are older! it's just that something with MiA that was a brand new experience for me over the last year is that I sure did accumulate some treasured fandom friends a decade-ish younger than me and i feel somewhat protective of them slash occasionally ashamed of not being a more impressive role model or something but okay look you guys don't want a mentor you want a draw-er of shitposts and a writer-er of decentish fanfics and That I Can Do
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gottagobuycheese · 2 years
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genuinely truly wholeheartedly cannot fathom people who go running before work. what do you mean you don’t get out of bed 10-15 minutes before you need to be fully dressed, breakfasted, equipped, and out the door? why would you voluntarily wake up SEVERAL hours early and go get sweaty in the dark and cold and then have a shower in the MORNING only to go to work all day?? incomprehensible.
#context: my housemate and I went for a run/walk this evening and we remarked on how nice it was and how we should do it more often#but realistically the only way we'd be able to do it during the weekdays is before work#which like. lmao.#I'm sorry but your insomnia and my insomnia do not line up enough for this#the only person who comes to mind that I actually know does this is my high school ap chem teacher#but she also got her phd at 25 so she doesn't count#I do like running in the mornings the few times I've done it!#but the only way we'd be able to get it done before work here is well before sunrise#which I am intrinsically opposed to#and also if I have work right after I can't just come back home and go back to sleep or slouch on the couch for 3 hours straight#I was going to say something but there was this HUGE gust of wind and rain and other noises lashing my window and I forgot what it was#anyways in summary I still don't want to go to work tomorrow#and I'm rrrreeeaaaaallllyyyy hoping that the ‘don't want to be here’ energy of Friday carries over to today#phenomenal job on Friday 6 out of 8 of my co-worker's people didn't show up#I yearn for that sort of attendance#please. please give me nothing to do. let me catch up on my other stuff. you do not need to come in for this. this can be an email.#(to be fair I would also hate it if it were an email sdkjfhskfjh)#(...yeah actually maybe don't make it an email)#(but please please PLEASE no more backstories tragic or otherwise)#(please let it just be simple and straightforward enough to finish all my notes as they come)#(I still have to do Friday's because I slept like all of Saturday and half of today)#ah shoot and I still need to study...#you know what. I'm gonna have to say it: I miss December#Cheese's personal molasses#Cheese evaporates about...job??#okay I should go to sleep now and stop fantasizing about a tree missing everything but landing exactly across our driveway#rendering it impossible for us to go to work#OKAY STOP WHINING#IF WE MAKE IT THROUGH TOMORROW I'LL LET YOU DO SOMETHING ART RELATED A N D EAT SOME COOKIE DOUGH HOW'S THAT
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insanechayne · 26 days
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~ ~ ~
#I think I’m lonely in a way I can’t fully describe#I have a partner and friends and family but still often feel alone even when I’m with them#I don’t feel close to anyone at times and I don’t know if it’s outside circumstances or just me#like with my partner being asexual we don’t really do certain activities that I’d like to partake in more often and I can’t hold it against#them for how they do/don’t feel but at the same time I’m craving a physical connection I can’t have and am struggling#doesn’t help that I think about sex all the time nowadays and would really like to be having it and experiencing/exploring certain things#it’s not always easy to take care of oneself that way and still also try to console the ace partner apologizing for who they are#and yeah hall passes are great but only if you have someone to use it on and I’ve never had anyone want to be with me sexually#moving on to bestie I don’t feel my same love and affection being reciprocated and that sucks because I really do anything I can for him#and am like that with pretty much all of mt friends where if they need me for something I’ll be there#but a lot of the time it seems like he really only wants to talk/hang out with me if he’s at work and I can come visit with him#any time I invite him to do something with me outside of work he flakes and so it’s not even worth inviting him anymore#and yeah there’s rare times where he’ll call me a bunch in one day but it’s always just to tell me some gossip from work#not that gossip isn’t fun but still don’t you want to jus talk to me? I always want to just talk to you even if it’s about nothing at all#I’m always the one putting myself out there for him and being there for him when he calls me but I almost never get that same response back#and it’s like I know he has a family so I know he can’t always drop everything for me nor would I ever expect that but just some matching of#my energy would be nice you know? but then I feel guilty/selfish because I feel like I shouldn’t ask that of him when he does have a life#away from work. and I mean I guess I do too but it’s different because partner and I don’t have kids and don’t do much aside from sit around#together or have tea or other things most often done at home. and I don’t live with partner full time yet so I also still have other freedom#outside of just being with them. and other responsibilities I take care of but not on the same level as a wife and kids I guess#idk now I just feel like I’m whining but tbh all this stuff is weighing on me and just making me feel really shitty#I don’t know how to fix these issues without sounding like a selfish bitch and I’m obviously not going to cut anyone off but I don’t really#see any other solutions forming either. so it’s like I guess I’ll just keep my mouth shut and keep feeling bad until the end of time since#that’s the easiest thing to do and then no one else is hurt or upset aside from me#I just feel like I’m destined to float through life never getting back what I need from my relationships but still giving everything because#I don’t know any other way to be. I don’t know how to set boundaries even for myself so I’ll just keep giving and giving until I’m dead#and yeah I guess I am still a lot happier than I used to be and I appreciate the people in my life#just sometimes feels like they don’t really appreciate me back is all#so now I have to lay here next to partner and have all this shit running in my mind and try to get over it on my own#reasonably I should just go to bed but the loneliness is gnawing at me and idk what to do to make it go away
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At the doctor! Torn between hating doctors and really loving the ones that I'm seeing today.
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pastadoughie · 7 months
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many people were confused about some of my previous posts, so for the sake of clarity i am condensing everything! tumblr has extremely transphobic moderation practices, often flagging completely innocent posts as explicit, solely for containing trans women in them or mentioning transgenderism. while letting untagged porn in sfw tags (ive literally seen porn tagged as "sfw agere") and blatent hatespeech, especially twards trans people (just look at the "gender critical" tag) go completely unchecked recently the CEO of tumblr had a big public hissyfit about people (rightfully) calling him transmysogenistic, going into random trans womens dms to harrass them, and saying that predstrogen saying she "hopes he explodes with hammers and then explodes again and hammers fly everywhere" is a death threat and saying he is calling the FBI on her (repeatedly misgendering her and calling her "it") and many bloggers, apon speaking out about it or even making harmless jokes (one trans woman posted a picture of a car and a hammer with the caption "reblog to scare matt" and got nuked for it) and many are very very angry (rightfully) about this whole affair and tumblr in general. if you would like to look into it i reccomend scrolling the "predstrogen" tag as she is the case most people are talking about at the moment. So, what can we do? this is clearly an ongoing issue, and, dispite having lost a lawsuit about their transphobic moderation in the past (see : https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/21274288-tumblr-nycchr-settlement) its clearly not gonna stop with just user complaints, as staff members are perfectly content to just go scorched earth on users who even so much as lightly poke fun at them well if you want to help you should contact the human rights commision (i will give clear details further down) ! you dont have to be in the US, nor be an adult to file, and it only takes a few minutes. this is the best and most effective method to fix this, because it hits tumblr where it hurts. human rights acencies have a lot of legal and financial power and tumblr CAN NOT just ignore them, and given that this will be the seccond time this is happening, the commisions shouldnt be playing nice anymore eaither. its really important that AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE FILE, and with different examples! while maybe your case might not be enough to prop up a lawsuit on its own, we need to prove a general trend. so every little bit counts! to respond to another question abt this ive gotten, as for what exactly to report, you should a) write about an act of discrimination youve recieved on tumblr that was eaither administered by a staff member OR that staff refused to give adequate moderation action in for example : a terf posted some blatent hatespeech targeted twards you, and you reported them, and staff looked at the issue and refused to persecute it. example 2 : you were unfairly flagged, deleted, or otherwise punished by a staff member and you are queer ( AND the post they banned you for has some kind of tie to your gender, ex : a sfw transition progress photo ) OR b) if you have not personally recieved something like that, please look for other peoples stories (THEY SHOULDNT BE HARD TO FIND, within the last couple of hours trans people have been being banned LEFT AND RIGHT for trying to speak on this. i would reccomend checking some of the tags related to what happened with predstrogen) and you should describe that incident as best as possible (be sure to disclose that you are speaking for someone else, ideally you should tell the story of someone you know, if possible.) you can also mention any reports you have made twards people posting blatent hatespeech that, opon reveiwing tumblr refused to prosecute dispite it being very obviously against terms of service. just so nobody gets confused about the filing process, im laying it out in more plain languadge!!
first you should email the SF HRC (san francisco human rights commision), at [email protected] and say something along these lines :
Hello, I am [full name] from [country or state] and I am filing a complaint against Tumblr, witch is owned by the parent company Automattic Inc. located at 60 29th St, San Francisco, CA 94110.
Tumblr has had previous issues with the NYC DHR for their moderation being unfairly biased against trans women (see : https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/21274288-tumblr-nycchr-settlement).
Despite a legally binding agreement with the NYC DHR, staff members still regularly harrass users based on their gender or sexual orientations. For example : on [date of most recent infraction] [describe incident] (if you are describing an incident that did not happen to you specifically, say something like) This incident involves the user [username] who I am not affiliated with (or/) who I am filing on behalf of.
I can be reached for further inquiries about this incident at [email you want to talk over] or [phone number you want to talk over]. (if you would like to be anonymous) However, In the event of legal prosecution against Automattic I would refer to be kept anonymous, where possible, in court proceedings. alternatively, you can also call the SF HRC at : 415-252-2500, you can use the above text as a starting point for this as well, next you want to fill out the form for the NYC DHR (new york city department of human rights) here : https://www.nyc.gov/site/cchr/about/report-discrimination.page for company you wanna put : Automattic and/or Tumblr for address you wanna put : 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003 for phone number you wanna put : (646) 513-4321 and for category of discrimination you can put : Discriminatory harassment and basis of discrimination you can put : Gender; Gender identity you can then use a similar script on the written section of the form. when describing a specific incident, you should attach as many screenshots and links as possible! (for links, include both a live link and an archival link, so take a capture with the internet archive and have that as an alternative, incase a staff member gets petty.) this should only take a few minutes at most, and it helps alot! you can fill this out if you are a minor, and you dont have to be a us resident, please please take the time!!! and, just to clarify because there are many posts going around that are confused about this tumblr moved offices to san francisco recently, so their main HQ is at : 60 29th St, San Francisco, CA 94110 they DO still have an office in new york city, and thats where their PREVIOUS HQ was, the address is : 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003
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zoekrystall · 11 months
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Watching su further and lapis and peridot are on screen again and I am glad I'm not the only one but my ex bff/qpp too that can't see both anymore without thinking of us (why still messaging bc I kinda became a covid info messenger for irl people)
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Also I checked when that cosplay stuff was planned and 2016 jfc. That connection is there since so long oof. But also in gen su is really around since a good while huh sometimes still feels like yesterday.
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jadevine · 9 months
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Preindustrial travel, and long explanations on why different distances are like that
Update March 1, 2024: Hey there folks, here's yet another update! I reposted Part 2a (the "medieval warhorses" tangent) to my writing blog, and I went down MORE of the horse-knowledge rabbit hole! https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/741423906984951808/my-post-got-cut-off-so-i-added-the-rest-of-it Update Jan 30, 2024: Hey folks, I've posted the updated version of this post on my blog, so I don't have to keep frantically telling everyone "hey, that's the old version of this post!" https://thebalangay.wordpress.com/2024/01/29/preindustrial-travel-times-part-1/
I should get the posts about army travel times and camp followers reformatted and posted to my blog around the end of the week, so I'll filter through my extremely tangled thread for them.
Part 2 - Preindustrial ARMY travel times: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask
Part 2a - How realistic warhorses look and act, because the myth of "all knights were mounted on huge clunky draft horses" just refuses to die: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/732043691180605440/helpful-things-for-action-writers-to-remember
Part 3 - Additional note about camp followers being regular workers AND sex-workers: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/740604203134828544/reblogging-the-time-looped-version-of-my
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I saw a post on my main blog about how hiking groups need to keep pace with their slowest member, but many hikers mistakenly think that the point of hiking is "get from Point A to Point B as fast as possible" instead of "spending time outdoors in nature with friends," and then they complain that a new/less-experienced/sick/disabled hiker is spoiling their time-frame by constantly needing breaks, or huffing and puffing to catch up.
I run into a related question of "how long does it take to travel from Point A to Point B on horseback?" a lot, as a fantasy writer who wants to be SEMI-realistic; in the Western world at least, our post-industrial minds have largely forgotten what it's like to travel, both on our own feet and in groups.
People ask the new writer, "well, who in your cast is traveling? Is getting to Point B an emergency or not? What time of year is it?", and the newbies often get confused as to why they need so much information for "travel times." Maybe new writers see lists of "preindustrial travel times" like a primitive version of Google Maps, where all you need to do is plug in Point A and Point B.
But see, Google Maps DOES account for traveling delays, like different routes, constructions, accidents, and weather; you as the person will also need to figure in whether you're driving a car versus taking a bus/train, and so you'll need to figure out parking time or waiting time for the bus/train to actually GET THERE.
The difference between us and preindustrial travelers is that 1) we can outsource the calculations now, 2) we often travel for FUN instead of necessity.
The general rule of thumb for preindustrial times is that a healthy and prime-aged adult on foot, or a rider/horse pair of fit and prime-aged adults, can usually make 20-30 miles per day, in fair weather and on good terrain.
Why is this so specific? Because not everyone in preindustrial times was fit, not everyone was healthy, not everyone was between the ages of 20-35ish, and not everyone had nice clear skies and good terrain to travel on.
If you are too far below 18 years old or too far past 40, at best you will need either a slower pace or more frequent breaks to cover the same distance, and at worst you'll cut the travel distance in half to 10 or so miles. Too much walking is VERY BAD on too-young/old knees, and teenagers or very short adults may just have short legs even if they're fine with 8-10 hours of actual walking. Young children may get sick of walking and pitch a fit because THEY'RE TIREDDDDDDDDDD, and then you might need to stay put while they cry it out, or an adult may sigh and haul them over their shoulder (and therefore be weighed down by about 50lbs of Angry Child).
Heavy forests, wetlands and rocky hills/mountains are also going to be a much shorter "distance" per day. For forests or wetlands, you have to account for a lot of villagers going "who's gonna cut down acres of trees for one road? NOT ME," or "who's gonna drain acres of swamp for one road? NOT ME." Mountainous regions have their traveling time eaten by going UP, or finding a safer path that goes AROUND, so by the time you're done slogging through drier patches of wetlands or squeezing through trees, a deceptively short 10-15 miles in rough terrain might take you a whole day to walk instead of the usual half-day.
If you are traveling in freezing winters or during a rainstorm (and this inherently means you HAVE NO CHOICE, because nobody in preindustrial times would travel in bad weather if they could help it), you run the high risk of losing your way and then dying of exposure or slipping and breaking your neck, just a few miles out of the town/village.
Traveling in TOO-HOT weather is just as bad, because pushing yourself too hard and getting dehydrated at noon in the tropics will literally kill you. It's called heat-STROKE, not "heat-PARTY."
And now for the upper range of "traveling on horseback!"
Fully mounted groups can usually make 30-40 miles per day between Point A and Point B, but I find there are two unspoken requirements: "Point B must have enough food for all those people and horses," and "the mounted party DOESN'T need to keep pace with foot soldiers, camp followers, or supply wagons."
This means your mounted party would be traveling to 1) a rendezvous point like an ally's camp or a noble's castle, or 2) a town/city with plenty of inns. Maybe they're not literally going 30-40 miles in one trip, but they're scouting the area for 15-20 miles and then returning to their main group. Perhaps they'd be going to an allied village, but even a relatively small group of 10-20 warhorses will need 10-20 pounds of grain EACH and 20-30 pounds of hay EACH. 100-400 pounds of grain and 200-600 pounds of hay for the horses alone means that you need to stash supplies at the village beforehand, or the village needs to be a very large/prosperous one to have a guaranteed large surplus of food.
A dead sprint of 50-60 miles per day is possible for a preindustrial mounted pair, IF YOU REALLY, REALLY HAVE TO. Moreover, that is for ONE day. Many articles agree that 40 miles per day is already a hard ride, so 50-60 miles is REALLY pushing the envelope on horse and rider limits.
NOTE: While modern-day endurance rides routinely go for 50-100 miles in one day, remember that a preindustrial rider will not have the medical/logistical support that a modern endurance rider and their horse does.
If you say "they went fifty miles in a day" in most preindustrial times, the horse and rider's bodies will get wrecked. Either the person, their horse, or both, risk dying of exhaustion or getting disabled from the strain.
Whether you and your horse are fit enough to handle it and "only" have several days of defenselessness from severe pain/fatigue (and thus rely on family/friends to help you out), or you die as a heroic sacrifice, or you aren't QUITE fit enough and become disabled, or you get flat-out saved by magic or another rider who volunteers to go the other half, going past 40 miles in a day is a "Gondor Calls For Aid" level of emergency.
As a writer, I feel this kind of feat should be placed VERY carefully in a story: Either at the beginning to kick the plot off, at the climax to turn the tide, or at the end.
Preindustrial people were people--some treated their horses as tools/vehicles, and didn't care if they were killed or disabled by pushing them to their limits, but others very much cared for their horses. They needed to keep them in working condition for about 15-20 years, and they would not dream of doing this without a VERY good reason.
UPDATE January 13: Several people have gotten curious and looked at maps, to find out how a lot of cities are indeed spread out at a nice distance of 20-30 miles apart! I love getting people interested in my hyperfixations, lol.
But remember that this is the space between CITIES AND TOWNS. There should never be a 20-mile stretch of empty wilderness between City A and Town B, unless your world explains why folks are able to build a city in the middle of nowhere, or if something has specifically gone wrong to wipe out its supporting villages!
Period pieces often portray a shining city rising from a sea of picturesque empty land, without a single grain field or cow pasture in sight, but that city would starve to death very quickly in preindustrial times.
Why? Because as Bret Devereaux mentions in his “Lonely Cities” article (https://acoup.blog/2019/07/12/collections-the-lonely-city-part-i-the-ideal-city/), preindustrial cities and towns must have nearby villages (and even smaller towns, if large and prosperous enough!) to grow their food for them.
The settlements around a city will usually be scattered a few miles apart from each other, usually clustered along the roads to the city gates. Those villages and towns at the halfway point between cities (say 10-15 miles) are going to be essential stops for older/sick folks, merchants with cargo, and large groups like noble’s retinues and army forces.
Preindustrial armies and large noble retinues usually can’t make it far past 10-12 miles per day, as denoted in my addition to this post. (https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask )
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soup-mother · 3 months
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actually a topic I'd genuinely LOVE to see people discuss is how countries like thailand exist to so many people as cheap medical destinations (cheap to tourists not to locals). like idk it's a very touchy subject especially for trans ppl but the way "oh I'll just go to thailand to get bottom surgery" exists in so many people's minds and it's like.... that's a benefit of imperialism again isn't it? but because we're a marginalised community within our own rich countries it's "less important" or "more necessary".
like i made a post about a similar thing ages ago and a lot of the comments were sorta acting like trans medical tourism is somehow "less" privileged medical tourism than cis ppl? like how do you think it feels being trans in one of those countries? that exist to us as "cheaper options"? do you think it's "cheap" for people there? do you know what wages are like? especially for trans ppl?
idk it's just holy fuck, being trans doesn't make us immune to benefiting from imperialism and being able to leverage valuable currencies even if it feels like we "deserve" it more. idk i don't think i have like a grand thesis to make here and if you interpret this as "trans people getting bottom surgery is imperialist" i think you should go take a 50m dive into an empty pool, but like...yknow. It'd be nice to be able to talk about? not everyone lives in rich privileged countries and like it or not those of us that do still often carry incredibly touristy imperialist ideas of the countries we rely on for surgeries.
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