#we’ve waited 4 years already

[primcri]

So no Rayllum kiss?

[fuzzyunicorn]

Have the lil Satanists reached their breaking point yet? If not read my tags below

[misspygmypie]

Meet & Greet... and more? Pt. 6

Pairing: Lando Norris x reader Words: 2521 Click here for Part 5

Please do not repost, thank you, and leave some feedback :)

The next morning Y/N and Noah were packed and ready for their departure, with Lando loading everything into the car. He had insisted on bringing them and thankfully they were leaving from a private area of the airport, so he didn’t worry too much about crowds.

The drive was filled with light chatter and laughter, Lando making an effort to engage Noah in conversation. He pointed out various spots and shared a few facts he knew about the city, trying to make the journey as enjoyable as possible for the little boy.

As they neared the airport, Lando decided it was the right moment to bring up the topic that had been on his mind. He glanced over at Y/N who nodded in encouragement and with a deep breath Lando started talking to the boy in the backseat. “Hey Noah, I wanted to tell you something important before you two leave.”

The boy looked up from his toy car he was playing with. “Yes?”

“Well, you know how you and your mom have been so amazing to me?” Lando smiled warmly, trying to keep his tone casual and friendly. “I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you both this weekend and I want to tell you something.”

Noah tilted his head slightly, waiting for Lando to continue. “What’s that?”

Y/N took the driver’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze but she could see in Lando’s face that the Brit had no idea how to approach the topic. “Lando and I have been getting to know each other better and we’ve been having a lot of fun. He asked me if he could be more than just a friend to us and I said yes. So, he’s going to be mommy’s boyfriend now.”

“I know this might be new for you, but I want you to know that I’m really happy to be spending time with you and your mom. I’m looking forward to getting to know you even better and I hope we can have lots of fun together,” Lando directed at the boy, his expression nervous but hopeful. 

Noah’s eyes widened a bit as he processed the news. “Does this mean you’re going to be around more? And can we come visit you at more races?”

Lando’s face lit up with a broad smile. “Yes, I’d love for you and your mom to come visit me at more races, it would be fantastic to have you both there. I’ll make sure to have some fun stories and maybe even a few surprises for you.”

Y/N watched the exchange with a heart full of affection and relief. She could see that Noah was beginning to warm up to the idea, even though the 4-year-old probably didn’t fully understand what it all meant, and Lando’s genuine care was making this a positive conversation too.

When they arrived at the airport and Y/N went to get their boarding passes Lando and Noah found a quiet corner near the check-in area, away from other people. The young man crouched down to the boy's level, giving him his full attention.

“Noah,” Lando said gently, “I know this is a lot to take in. It’s okay to feel a bit unsure about things changing and not fully understanding it but I want you to know that I’m here because I really care about you and your mom. If you ever have any questions or just want to talk, I’m always here for you.”

“I’m not nervous. I think it’s going to be great and you really seem to like us.”

Lando chuckled softly, his eyes warm. “I like you two very much! And if you ever feel unsure, just let me know. We can always talk about it.”

The kid’s face suddenly brightened with an idea. “That means you could come to my next birthday! It’s not for a long while but it would be really cool if you could come!”

“Wow,” Lando’s eyes widened in surprise, he surely didn’t expect to get an invite to a birthday party already, “that sounds fantastic! I’d love to come to your party. I’ll check my schedule once we get closer to make sure I can make it. But if for some reason I can’t be there, I promise I’ll throw you a special party at the paddock. We’ll make it extra fun and I’ll make sure it’s something you’ll remember.”

Noah’s face lit up with excitement. “That sounds awesome! I hope you can come but I’d love the paddock party too.”

Y/N returned with the boarding passes, her face showing relief when she saw and overheard the supportive exchange between Lando and Noah. She joined them, giving Lando a grateful smile. “Thanks for being so understanding, Lando. I’m sure he will be thrilled whether you make it to his party or if we have to do the paddock celebration.”

“It’s going to be a lot of fun no matter what ,” Lando smiled back at her, “but I don’t want to have to wait that long to see you two again…”

After they finished up their goodbyes Lando watched as Y/N and Noah made their way to the gate. He felt excited about the future and the first thing he would do when he was on his next flight was to check his calendar for his days off.

_____

It was an ordinary Tuesday afternoon a few short months later and the Formula 1 world was buzzing with its usual pre-race speculation and excitement. The latest headlines were filled with updates about team strategies, driver performances and the occasional juicy rumor. 

At 2:00 PM the first hint of something significant emerged on social media. A tweet from a sports journalist read: "News coming out of the McLaren camp. Stay tuned!" The hashtag #LandoOffTheMarket began trending and at 2:30 PM, a series of paparazzi photos were released, showing Lando, Y/N and her four-year-old son, Noah, enjoying a casual day out. 

The images captured the trio in a heartfelt moment: Y/N holding Lando’s hand, his arm slung around her neck casually but tightly, while the toddler sat on the driver’s shoulders, Lando’s other hand securely holding on to the boy’s tiny leg to keep him in place and Noah’s little hands wrapped around the man’s neck while his head leaned softly onto the driver’s. A big smile adorned all of their faces.

The immediate reaction was a wave of shock, excitement and curiosity. Fans and media outlets scrambled to learn more about Y/N and her son, who had previously been unknown to the public. 

Social media platforms immediately were flooded with comments about the sweet new addition to Lando’s life. “Noah is the cutest!” and “Lando’s little family is absolutely adorable!” were among the most read comments. Photos of Noah, with his wide-eyed wonder and charming smile, quickly became a tiny sensation and fan pages dedicated to Lando began posting collages and edits featuring all three of them.

They praised Lando for his new role as a father figure and expressed their adoration for the young boy who had captured their hearts and many fans eagerly awaited any glimpses of Noah in future posts but also were quick to defend the family from invasive or negative comments.

For Lando, Y/N, and Noah the announcement marked a new chapter. What had started as a private romance was now thrust into the world, changing the dynamics of their lives in ways they had yet to fully comprehend. However, Lando and Y/N tried their best to handle their relationship as normal as possible.

With Lando being away for races their days were filled with text messages, Lando’s messages often included snapshots from his busy days at McLaren. He would send a photo of himself and his team, a behind-the-scenes glimpse of his gear or the track or a funny moment from the garage. 

Meanwhile Y/N would send images of her and her son, whether it was Noah’s latest art project, a day at the park or a cozy evening on the couch. Lando’s favorite ones though were Y/N sharing how she and Noah were watching one of Lando’s races together, cheering him on.

_____

A few weeks later it was Y/N and Noah’s first visit to a race since news of their relationship had hit the headlines. From the McLaren motorhome Lando spotted them making their way through the paddock and walked towards them, beaming brightly. Y/N was holding Noah’s hand, guiding him through the crowd. However, the photographers, drawn by the media frenzy over Lando and Y/N’s relationship, were relentless. Flashes from cameras and invasive questions quickly created an overwhelming atmosphere.

Noah soon became frightened by the flashing lights and the amount of people around him. His face turned pale and tears began streaming down his cheeks as he clung to Y/N’s leg, sobbing uncontrollably. 

Seeing Noah’s distress and Y/N’s struggle, Lando’s protective instincts kicked in. He pushed through the crowd, his voice rising above the noise. “Give them some space! Back off!” he shouted angrily. The photographers reluctantly stepped back, though they continued to snap photos from a distance. 

“Noah, buddy, it’s okay,” the driver said gently, kneeling down to Noah’s level. “We’re going to get you away from all these cameras.”

Noah, his face flushed and tear-streaked, looked up at Lando with fear. “I don’t like it… too many lights…”

Lando’s heart ached. Without hesitation he lifted him up into his arms, holding him close and trying to calm him down. “It’s alright, Noah. I’m here. We’ll find a quiet place.”

Y/N followed Lando as he carried Noah through the paddock. The tension and anger Lando felt were evident and everyone around them could sense his frustration. Reaching the McLaren hospitality area just a few short moments later Lando handed Noah a juice box, hoping to soothe him. “Here you go, buddy. This should help.”

Noah took the juice, his sobs gradually subsiding as he sipped. Lando, seeing that Noah was starting to calm down, turned to one of the team assistants. “Can you please take them to one of the offices? They could use a quieter spot to relax for a second.”

The assistant nodded and gently guided Y/N and Noah away, Lando watching them with anger boiling inside him. He then stormed into his and Oscar’s driver’s room section, slamming the door behind him. Oscar, who had witnessed the scene, followed him in.

“Everything okay?” Oscar asked as he entered the room.

Lando paced back and forth, his fists clenched. “Those photographers,” he began, his voice rising. “They were relentless! They had no regard for Noah, no sense of decency. It was like they were more interested in scaring him than taking decent photos.”

Oscar watched as Lando’s anger poured out. “It’s one thing for me having to deal with the media but to see them treating a child like that… It’s infuriating. I just wanted Y/N and Noah to have a nice day and they ruined it!”

Oscar nodded, understanding the depth of Lando’s frustration. “You did everything you could to get Noah out of there and make sure he was ok. Unfortunately sometimes that’s all you can do.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lando stopped pacing and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “I just hate feeling so powerless and unable to protect them from this.”

“They will be fine, mate. Let’s focus on the race and try to enjoy the time you have with them.”

Lando nodded, taking a moment to compose himself. He couldn’t shake the anger he felt but he was determined to channel it into a positive outcome. 

_____

As the race day wound down and the paddock was slowly emptying out Lando seemed detached. His usual bright demeanor was replaced with a contemplative silence that Y/N noticed immediately.

She watched him from across the paddock, his gaze distant as he stared at the now empty track. After making sure Noah was taken care of Y/N walked over to him, concern etched on her face. “Is everything okay?” she asked softly.

Lando turned to her and she could see the exhaustion and vulnerability on his face. “I just... I don’t know, Y/N. Today was supposed to be special and instead it felt like I failed in so many ways. I see how the media affected Noah and I can’t shake the feeling that maybe it’s not worth it, us being together, with everything that comes with it.”

Y/N’s heart ached at his words. She reached out and gently cupped his face, forcing him to look at her. “Lando, listen to me. I know things were a bit chaotic this morning and I know it’s hard sometimes with all the attention but that doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“But what if this life isn’t fair to you and Noah? What if it’s too much?” Lando’s eyes met hers, searching for reassurance. 

Y/N took a deep breath, gathering her courage to say what she had wanted to say for a while now but was too shy yet to admit to both herself and him. “Lando, I love you,” she finally let him know, feeling relieved that the words were now out. “I love you so much that I’m willing to face the challenges that come with being with you. Noah loves you too. He was a bit scared today but he looks up to you. He thinks you’re the coolest person ever, you’re his idol.”

Tears glistened in Lando’s eyes, touched by her words. “I love you too, Y/N, so much, both of you,” he said softly, his voice trembling. “I’ve loved you for a long time and hearing you say that makes me the happiest I’ve ever been. You both mean the world to me. I just don’t want to be the reason you or Noah are unhappy.”

Y/N’s expression softened as she wiped a stray tear from his cheek. “We’re not unhappy, Lando. We’re just learning how to navigate this. What we have is worth it. Your love, it means everything to us and the challenges are just part of it.”

Lando pulled Y/N into a tight embrace, his heart swelling still hearing those three words over and over again in his head. 

Noah had been playing with an engineer who had taken a break from helping pack up the equipment to entertain him. His laughter filled the air as he enjoyed the playful distraction and when Lando’s gaze fell upon him, the toddler’s eyes sparkled with joy. He ran towards Lando who picked him up with one arm while still having the other one securely around Y/N, embracing them tightly. 

“I’m so lucky to have you both,” Lando murmured, his voice trembling slightly. “I promise to do everything I can to make sure you’re both happy and safe, always.”

Y/N leaned in and kissed Lando’s cheek. “And we’re lucky to have you. We’ll get through this together.”

_________

Click here for Part 7!

Tag: @barcelonaloverf1life @remmysthings @poppyflower-22 @vickykazuya @hadids-world @ririyulife @deafeningunknowntyrant @lexiecampos @littlegrapejuice @eloriis @yawn-zi @landossainz @taliya8346282844eliviahdgdajs @casuallyeating @destinyg237 @jaydensluv @hc-dutch @alana4610

[leahwllmsn]

16,904

leah williamson x reader

Melbourne

October, 2023

You finally tell your friends that you’ve been talking to someone you met online on a Friday night. The response you got is that they all think you're crazy, and you can’t blame them—saying that you have a tiny crush on this blonde who’s almost twice your height and likes football and country music without actually knowing if this said blonde exists is kind of crazy.

But you really do like talking to Leah and you could only hope that Leah is Leah and not some fifty-year-old man. 

“You don’t even know what she looks like,” one of your friends snorts. 

“It’s not always about the looks,” you argue.

“That’s true,” another one of your friends chimed in. “But you gotta admit, the looks matter a lot.”

You were about to correct her and say no, they do not, because yeah, sure, Leah is so freaking gorgeous based on the pictures on her profile, but what matters the most is that she’s so kind, and funny, and just overall amazing.

Instead you kept your mouth shut. A part of you don’t want to share Leah with anyone just yet. 

(And another part of you still needs the confirmation that that is actually Leah because god damn it Leah is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen and you wish that it’s really her.)

—

6 Oct, 9:02 pm

y/n: I told my friends about you. they think it’s weird that I’m starting something with you when we’ve never met  

y/n: it’s not weird, is it? 

leahw6: starting something huh? ;) 

y/n: shut up 

y/n: we met on tinder. what were you expecting to find? a math tutor? 

leahw6: ...  

leahw6: you’re really funny, love

leahw6: and no, it’s not weird 

y/n: good 

y/n: and for the record, even if they think it’s weird I couldn’t care less 

—

6 Oct, 9:25 pm

leahw6: just to be clear 

leahw6: ‘starting something’ that means you want to date me right 

y/n: how else could I mean that 

leahw6: idk maybe you were the one looking for a math tutor 

— 

London

October, 2023

“Where did you meet her again?”

“Tinder.”

“Tinder,” Lia repeats.

“Yes,” Leah nods. “When we were in Australia for the World Cup… I got bored one night and decided to go on Tinder.”

“And you found her there,” Lia muses, sipping on her cup of coffee. “Wait, so she lives in Australia?”

“Melbourne, yes.”

“And does she know you’re all the way here in London?”

Leah hesitates before answering. “No.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Oh boy,” Lia gives her a sympathetic look. “Does she know who you are?”

“Me… as in Leah?” Leah gives her teammate a confused look. “Yeah?”

“You as in you’re Leah Williamson.”

“Oh,” realization sunk in Leah’s face. “Then no. I mentioned I like football and she said she hates it. So, I doubt she knows who I am.”

“Oh boy.”

“I know,” Leah drops her head on the table. “I’ll tell her soon but what if it’s a deal breaker?” 

“Which part? The part where you’re a famous footballer or you live thousands of kilometers away?”

Leah grimaces “Distance problem. She already said she hates football and wouldn’t dare step foot in a football game, but it’s fine! That’s not a problem because I can and will convince her to watch one of my games.”

Lia laughs. “Sure, buddy.”

“I really like her,” Leah continues. “She’s funny and witty and passive aggressive sometimes but it’s so endearing. She has great taste in music, great taste in movies and books, and just great taste overall—”

Leah’s words get cut off with Lia’s hand on her mouth. “You’ve known her for a few weeks and this is already how you act?” Lia chuckles, taking her hand away. “You got it bad, Williamson.”

Leah groans. “I know.”

“Just tell her now. If she likes you the same way, I have a feeling that she wouldn’t mind either.”

—

24 Oct, 4:13 pm

leahw6: can we talk ?

y/n: sounds serious 

leahw6: kind of 

y/n: are you getting tired of me already :( 

leahw6: ofc not 

y/n: oh okay :D 

leahw6: idk how to say this 

y/n: do you want me to call you? 

leahw6: oh god no 

leahw6: omg wait 

leahw6: I didn’t mean that in a bad way I swear  

leahw6: it’s just that if you call me I’ll be hearing your voice for the first time and I’ll be even more nervous  

leahw6: and I don’t think I’ll be able to put out a coherent sentence bc I’ve been imagining so much what your voice would sound like with that face and all my guesses are that you have an extremely hot voice, raspy maybe?  

leahw6: but actually no I don’t think you have a raspy voice 

leahw6: a deep one maybe and holy shit a deep voice with an australian accent? I’ll faint on the spot I’m afraid  

leahw6: no you can’t call me 

y/n: okay...? 

leahw6: I’m really sorry please ignore all that 

y/n: I won’t ignore it, it’s adorable  

leahw6: you think I’m weird don’t you 

y/n: absolutely 

leahw6: great 

y/n: it just makes me like you even more

leahw6: I live in london 

y/n: as in the one in england … ? 

leahw6: is there another london I don’t know about 

[incoming call from y/n]

leahw6: why are you calling me ?! 

leahw6: I told you I’m too nervous rn 

y/n: I don’t get it. it says that you were 2km away? 

leahw6: yeah… I was on vacation… kind of...

y/n: kind of?

y/n: so you don’t actually live here? 

leahw6: y/n if I was only 2 km away from you I would make up excuses just so I can see you everyday 

y/n: how many km is it instead 

leahw6: between us?

leahw6: google says it’s 16,904 km

y/n: ??! holy shit 

leahw6: I know 

leahw6: look, I get it if you want to stop this. not everyone is cut out for long distance

y/n: we’re like

y/n: on opposite sides of the world

leahw6: I know

y/n: do you want to stop this? 

leahw6: I don’t 

y/n: then we won’t 

leahw6: are you sure 

y/n: let me call you 

leahw6: NO 

y/n: leah

leahw6: give me a day to prepare 

y/n: you’re so dumb

y/n: but fine 

y/n: do I at least get a facetime

leahw6: FACETIME? 

leahw6: no. you get a phone call. voice only

y/n: r u catfishing 

y/n: I knew it you’re too beautiful to be real 

leahw6: ha ha 

y/n: call me tomorrow okay lee? 

leahw6: okay

leahw6: and y/n

leahw6:  thank you

y/n: what for

leahw6: for giving us a chance

y/n: leah I’d be stupid not to 

—

Melbourne

November, 2023

You're in the middle of a meeting with boring, old men in suits when your phone rings—very loudly at that. You curse yourself for forgetting to put your phone on silent, quickly pressing the red circle on the screen, but not before smiling at the caller ID.

When the meeting finishes an hour later, you immediately pick up your phone and dial Leah’s number.

“Hey you.” 

You smile at the voice on the other end. “Sorry I couldn’t pick up. I was in a meeting.”

“Oh sorry, bad timing. Thought you were finished for the day”

“Bad timing indeed,” you chuckle. “It rang really loudly.”

“Y/n,” you could hear Leah’s soft giggles. “The silent feature exists for a reason.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” you take a seat in your office chair and sigh contently. “I’m glad it rang though.”

“How so?” 

“I saw your name and my mood instantly picked up.”

Leah snorts. “You’re such a sweet talker, mate.” 

You throw her head back in laughter. “But it’s true!”

Leah doesn’t say anything after that, all you could hear is the sound of chatter and honking of cars. “Where are you?”

“I just had breakfast, I’m walking to the… office.”

“You called me when you were having breakfast? Am I that much more interesting than whoever you were with?” you ask, your tone teasing.

“Of course you are,” is Leah’s reply and you could feel your stomach flipping upside down.

“Now who’s the sweet talker?”

“Still you.”

“Says the person who couldn’t stop telling me I’m pretty when we facetimed for the first time.”

Leah laughs and you really, really love the sound. “But you are pretty.”

“But I don’t think I need to hear it every five minutes.”

“Just accept the compliments, love.”

“Okay,” you relent, a grin spreading across your face. “Who did you have breakfast with?”

“Just my team– colleagues. My colleagues, Beth, Viv and Lia.”

You go silent for a few seconds, the last name ringing a bell in your head. “Lia as in your ex?”

“The one and only.”

“Oh.”

Leah must’ve sensed the jealousy in your voice (but honestly, you aren't jealous, you’re really not), because the next thing you know Leah is laughing and telling you that it didn’t work out between her and Lia because they were better off as friends.

“You see her everyday though,” you say, your voice less confident than before.

“And what about it?”

“You don’t see me everyday,” you pout, staring at a polaroid picture of Leah smiling at the camera that is stuck to the wall of your cubicle. Leah sent you a handwritten letter along with that picture a few days ago. Your roommate was the one who received it and it went something like this:

“Oh my god, there’s no way this is your Leah.”

“What?” 

“This! Is this really her?” 

“Is that Lee’s mail for me? Did you open it?!” 

“I got curious!” 

“Give me that!” 

“You never mentioned that she looks like this!” 

“I just haven’t shown you what she looks like ‘cause everyone kept on teasing me!” 

“Because she could be a fake for all we know! But holy shit, she’s soo stunning. Does she have a twin sister?”

“No.”

“A twin brother?” 

“No.” 

“Can I have her instead then?” 

“What the—no?!” 

“Fine, be stingy like that.” 

“...I’m really fine with us like this.”

You blink away images of your roommate in your head and focus your attention back to Leah’s voice. “What did you say?”

“I said I’m okay with not being able to see you everyday,” Leah repeats. “Talking to you over the phone is enough.”

You smile. “It’s enough for me too. It’d be great to have you next to me but this is good too.”

People would think otherwise but for you, having Leah a phone call away really is enough; you'd take hearing Leah's laughter through the phone than not hearing it at all.

—

10 Nov, 1:11 pm

y/n: I got a dog

leahw6: ???!! 

leahw6: Y/N CALL ME OMG 

leahw6: I WANT TO SEE 

y/n: you’re more excited to see him than me :// 

leahw6: YES 

y/n: excuse me 

leahw6: WHAT’S HIS NAME 

y/n: robert 

leahw6: ROBERT? 

y/n: yes, robert 

leahw6: he's now my favourite

leahw6: SEND PICS

y/n: :/ 

y/n:

leahw6: you know you're my favourite too  

y/n: :D 

leahw6: but I think I like robert more than you OMG HE'S ADORABLE!!!!

y/n: bye 

—

London

December, 2023

leahw6:  want to hear a funny story

y/n:  what is it

leahw6:  a guy tried to hit on me tonight

y/n:  excuse me???

[incoming call from y/n] 

“That’s not funny,” is the first thing Leah hears once she accepts the call.

“Hello to you too,” Leah stifles a laugh. You sound tense and Leah can just picture the frown on your face.

“Leah.”

“Yes, babe?” Leah learnt that the quickest way to melt away your anger is to use pet names and so for any argument (even if Leah is in the wrong), Leah would always win.

This time it doesn’t seem to work. “How is that funny again?” 

“Darling, I’m just teasing you.”

“Did a guy really hit on you?”

“Yes,” Leah answers honestly. “He bought me a drink.”

“I see.”

Leah doesn’t like how dejected you sound. So she presses the button for facetime and the first thing she sees when you accept is her girlfriend pouting at the screen.

“What are you doing?” Leah giggles.

“Is all of this funny to you?” you pout even more, your phone screen illuminating your face in the dark room.

“Did I wake you up?” Leah asks instead. She knows you like to sleep in on weekends.

“Yes, but that’s fine. You know I want to talk to you any chance I get,” you answer, shifting so that you’re now lying on your side.

“You’re the best,” Leah says as she climbs in bed, tucking herself under the covers.

“Obviously,” you scoff. “Unlike that stupid guy who doesn’t know you’re off-limits.”

Leah grins at the annoyed look you’re giving her. “Baby?”

“Hm?”

“It’s so cute when you’re jealous.”

You roll your eyes. “Of course I’m jealous. He gets to be within your presence while I’m stuck here, freaking sixteen thousand kilometres away from you. It’s unfair.”

Leah sends her a soft smile. “But you’re the one I’m talking to every day, so who’s the real winner here?” The frown is still present on your face and Leah wants nothing more than to kiss it away—so that’s what she did.

“Leah, what the hell are you doing?”

“Kissing you,” Leah answers simply, kissing her screen again.

And when Leah hears laughter from the other end, her heart feels much lighter.

“Lee, have you cleaned your phone? That’s gross.”

“Shut up. I’m trying to be romantic.”

“Cute, but maybe clean your phone first.”

Leah rolls her eyes at you, her smile never leaving her face. “At least I made you laugh.”

“You always make me laugh,” you say, your face so close to her camera that the entirety of Leah’s screen is just a close up of your face. Leah’s heart swells in adoration at the sight.

“Did you have a good night's sleep?” Leah asks.

You hum in answer. “Now it’s your turn to get a good night’s sleep.”

You could see how hard Leah is trying to keep her eyes open.

“This sucks, time difference sucks” Leah pouts. “I just want to talk to you.”

“Baby,” you give her a sad smile. “It is how it is. We’ll talk more when you wake up.”

“Yes, captain,” Leah gives you grin, her eyes fully closed.

“Good night, Leah. Sweet dreams.”

You watch Leah go to sleep for a few minutes, the sound of her soft snores making it seem like she’s right next to you. 

That night Leah dreams that you're right next to her, holding her close and keeping her warm on the cold winter night.

[hotgirlssupportlando]

one day x lando norris pt 4

this is a part of my series following one day of every summer from 2016 onwards in y/n’s and lando's lives, exploring their friendship and love for one another. ofc not a smooth ride with some angst and fights along the way. a friends to lovers, growing up together kind of thing. read first part here pairing: lando norris x fem!reader summary of this part: y/n attending lando's first home race in f1, but her expectations weren't really met warnings: kinda sad :( wc: 1,4k a/n: probably a couple of sad parts now in this series but bear with me!! a one day -series can't only be rainbows and butterflies hehe

summer of 2019

Silverstone Circuit, England

y/n was beyond excited getting her invite from lando to attend his first ever home race in f1. she couldn’t believ that the random boy she had met a few years ago now was one of the top twenty drivers in the world. seeing her best friend advancing in the sport truly made her proud, who would’ve thought he’d be going this far? since day one she had always supported her friend both on track and at distance, nowadays most through late night facetime calls as she was still in Edinburgh studying and Lando traveling all around the world. 

however, now after being months apart the pair would finally meet again and oh my, was she excited!! she couldn’t help but smile sitting in the taxi on her way to silverstone, headphones in listening to her and landos shared playlist. she fiddled with her mclaren paddock pass that already, proudly, was hanging around her neck, closely reading (for maybe the hundredth time) that all the personal information was correct, it would be just typical lan to spell something wrong and causing her trouble. as soon as the paddock pass had arrived in the mail at her uni dorm she had started planning her outfit, carefully picking out clothes and accessories that would perfectly match the colours on the pass. as the self-conscious being she was, she wanted to be prepared, not wanting to make a fool of herself or lando by turning up as a girl who didn’t look like she belonged there.  

now she was sat stroking her new white dress, contemplating whether it was too boring or too much, and what would lando think, would he like it? and why didn’t she take the other dress instead, it would have looked much better! her mind was racing, overthinking every little thing that came to mind and her worries quickly aggravated looking outside the cab window at all the beautifully looking fans that stood waiting outside the paddock hoping to see their favourite drive appear from one of the taxis. oh well, she thought, there’s nothing i can do about it now. she took a deep breath before exiting the car, shyly walking toward the entrance where she blipped her paddock pass and quickly rushed away headed towards the big mclaren sign in the distance. overwhelmed by the situation she just wanted to see lando, knowing that his presence would calm her nerves.

after some walking she finally arrived at the mclaren hospitality, almost immediately spotting jon, lando’s trainer. ”hi we’ve only seen each other through facetime but i’m y/n l/n, landos friend”, she said approaching jon. ”oh hello, i thought i recognized you from somewhere!” he smiled, ”you’re probably looking for lando?”. y/n nodded smilingly. jon looked around a bit worried, telling her that he should be here somewhere but that his schedule had been a bit hectic this race day morning. she was offered to wait in the hospitality while jon was gonna go tell lando that she had arrived. with a good mood she went and grabbed a tea, sitting at a table that overlooked mclaren’s part of the pit lane. 

after scrolling a bit on her phone and texting her friend, she saw in her periphery, more specifically in the garage, a familiar looking boy. he was giving some fangirls a tour around the garage, letting one and one test sit in his car. he looked so happy, being in his element. after a short while jon approached lando, and by his lips y/n could read something about her arrival. landos reaction was cute, he seemed excited that she was there but didn’t seem ready to come meet her just yet. y/n was just glad she had seen him at a distance and didn’t mind waiting for some time longer, she had already waited several months so what harm could another hour do?

if it only had been an hour or two or even three.. patiently she sat waiting, looking at the clock seeing it was nearly time for race preparations. nope, she thought, if she wanted to see him she would need to take it into her own hands, and that’s what she did. confidently she walked the same route she had seen jon take to the garage and after getting lost a couple times she found a visitor friendly spot. at the same place other high paying fans were stood looking at the team doing their pre race preparations. lando, as the kind boy he was, of course greeted the fans and let them take pictures with him. shortly after he spotted y/n who stood with a huge smile and open arms to greet him in an usual hug, but she wasn’t met by the same excitement. a rather cold and quick hug was what she got, from a boy that felt unexpectedly unfamiliar. a bit caught of guard by the reception and embarrassed by the amount of people that had seen this awkward encounter she felt like running far away. somehow she managed to still ask lando if their agreed meetup after the race was still on, to which she received a short ”yeah, sure”. 

stunned from the whole situation she went back up to the hospitality and watched the race in some kind of haze. wtf was that? she didn’t have to be here, lando was the one that invited her there, didn’t some good old kindness include in that package? presumably not then. her thoughts wandered, shocked that the boy she had known for years abruptly was someone totally else, just because they weren’t alone, the two of them, as they usually was. or was she overreacting? maybe it wasn’t that bad. or maybe this was her fault? she could’ve put a bit more makeup on and change the dress so that she would’ve been prettier, maybe that was the problem, that she wasn’t as pretty as the other girls in the paddock. 

in the middle of her overthinking someone patted her on the shoulder making her jump of fear out of her seat. ”sorry sorry sorry! i didn’t mean to scare you” a familiar voice half laughed, half tried to sound serious. she turned around meeting a pair of kind brown eyes, it was carlos sainz she remembered, lando’s teammate. ”are you waiting for someone?” he asked. y/n looked at the clock, it was late, somehow she had been thinking about her own problems so long that she hadn’t noticed that the race was done ages ago and that the other hospitality guests had gone home. ”oh yeah, i was waiting for lando, he’s my friend, but i guess he has forgotten about me.. again” y/n said not covering her disappointment very well. carlos smiled compassionately, like he understood, ”i’m sorry.. i remember when i was new to f1, everything’s so new and exciting that sometimes the one’s that has been with you from the start gets left behind..”. ”well, thats assuring” y/n laughed quietly as she felt her eyes tearing up. ”noo sorry, y/n was it? i didn’t mean to upset you, what i meant to say was that in the beginning you get kind of caught up in the fame and girls running after you, but when you settle in to the sport you sooner or later understand who the real one’s are” he said and gently hugged you afterwards. y/n sniffled after the hug ”well i hope so.. this wasn’t at all what i expected from this day” she sighed walking towards the door out of the hospitality. ”i’m certain he will come around, some new drivers take more time than others to realize that all the new attention is just empty and fake, nothing that can compare to a girl that waited the clock around to hopefully see her friend” he smiled trying to cheer y/n up. a small smile cracked on her face as she thanked him whilst they walked out of hospitality together. 

they didn’t have to walk very far before she heard lando’s familiar laugh, y/n turning around to spot lando in the distance, flirting with some very beautiful girls, noticing how he didn’t have a thought in the world about his old friend. she felt her heart sink and eyes tearing up again, was she really that forgettable? if anything, it only confirmed all her self-conscious thoughts. carlos that was walking beside her noticed the same as her and immediately connected his eyes with y/n’s, giving her a compassionate look while hugging her from the side. ”don’t you worry darling, remember my words”

_____

taglist

@amberpanda99 @phantomxoxo @landossainz @chezmardybum @lan4cha16 @tvdtw4ever @starlit-skiessss @dorothea47

[beom-pyu]

truth or drink! (engaged edition): choi soobin

part 3 of the truth or drink series! <3

other parts: beomgyu & taehyun "my ex + my boyfriend edition" yeonjun "couples edition" kai "blind date edition"

slightly nsfw! (minors dni.)

welcome to truth or drink! engaged couples will ask each other a set of random questions. they can either answer the question or take a shot.

“i’m soobin and this is my fiance...”

“y/n!”

how long have you guys been together?

YOU: "4 and a half years."

how long have you guys been engaged?

SB: “going on 2 months now.”

who talked about marriage first?

SB: “y/n.”

YOU: “me.”

and how did that go?

SB: “they actually said it the first time we met at a mutual friend’s birthday party.”

YOU: “i was shitfaced and he had really cute dimples, so i told him we should get married. and he said okay!”

did you get engaged on the spot?

SB: “they completely forgot who i was by the next day, so i had to do all of the courting and work to even get them to go on a date with me.”

YOU: “it was worth it though.”

SB: “of course it was.”

SOOBIN: what was your first impression of me?

YOU: “other than the birthday incident, i thought you were way cooler than you actually are.”

SB: “am i not cool???”

YOU: “you are like… pitifully cute?”

SB: “that makes me sound like a charity case.”

YOU: “the cutest charity case ever.”

YOU: is there anything about getting married that scares you—something you haven’t shared with me?

SB: “hm… rationally, i know it probably won’t happen, but i feel like you’ll get bored of me at some point?”

YOU: “i could never get bored of you, baby. well… only your league of legends talk, but i love everything else.”

SB: “what’s wrong with my league of legends talk?”

you gently place your hand on top of his.

YOU: “everything.”

SOOBIN: what is something you want to try in the bedroom that we’ve never done before?

YOU: “bottoms up.”

SB: “hey, no! this is a safe space.”

YOU: “i think my mom is watching this, soobin.”

SB: “hi, y/n’s mom. now tell me.”

YOU: “if i say mine, you have to say yours.”

SB: “deal.”

YOU: “i want to like… tie you up.”

SB: “wait, i was gonna say that!”

YOU: “no way.”

SB: “yes way.”

YOU: “see, we’re a match made in heaven.”

YOU: on the count of three, both of us say the number of children we would ideally have.

YOU: “one, two, three. two!”

SB: “five!”

YOU: “five?”

SB: “i was going to say six, but i lowered it just for you.”

you give soobin an incredulous stare.

YOU: “i need a shot.”

SOOBIN: if you had one hall pass, who would you sleep with?

YOU: “people we know or…?”

the producer gives you a thumbs up.

YOU: “i’m gonna drink.”

SB: “wait, now i’m curious.”

YOU: “what about you?”

…

SB: “...pour me one, too.”

YOU: who proposed to who, and how did they propose?

SB: “i proposed. but it was really messy.”

YOU: “really cute actually. he had just gotten home from a month-long business trip and, if you didn’t know, he’s a really emotional person—”

SB: “i’m not that emotional.”

YOU: “you cried watching shrek, honey.”

SB: “that was one time.”

YOU: “you also cried during our first ti—”

SB: “continue on with the proposal, please.”

soobin pours another shot, just because, and you laugh under your breath.

YOU: “i was already in bed when he got home and he just got into bed and started bawling.”

SB: “i wasn’t ‘bawling’, i was sniffling.”

YOU: “you were bawling. anyways, he pulled me into his arms and was just like ‘please, please marry me, the love of my life, my entire universe, i can’t live without you, i need you forever—’”

SB: “okay, now you’re just making stuff up.”

YOU: “so you admit you were bawling?”

...

SB: “next question.”

SOOBIN: have you ever seriously considered breaking up with me?

YOU: “i wouldn’t say seriously…”

SB: “so you actually have considered it?”

the pout on soobin’s lips is prominent.

YOU: “you know work takes up a lot of your time, and i didn’t really understand where you were coming from in the beginning. so i guess i’ve thought about it once or twice, but i never really wanted to go through with it. i can’t see myself with anyone else but you.”

SB: “i think i’m the only one that can handle you, anyways.”

YOU: “woah, what does that mean?”

soobin just laughs and kisses the back of your hand.

SB: “take it as you will, baby.”

YOU: how often do we have sex, and how often should we have sex?

SB: “every other day…? i feel like that's more than average.”

YOU: “yeah, you’re very needy.”

SB: “i’m not needy. i’m just obsessed with you.”

YOU: “see, look, you’re trying to get into my pants right now!”

SB: “...is it working?”

YOU: “yes.”

SOOBIN: when was the last time you masturbated, and where was i?

YOU: “like, two days ago? and you were out with one of your friends.”

SB: “i still don’t know if he accidentally saw the videos you sent me or not...”

YOU: “doesn’t sound like you’re complaining.”

SB: “i’m the only one who can fuck you right, so i’m not worried.”

YOU: “mom, if you’re watching this. i’ve never had sex. i don’t even know what sex is.”

YOU: who or what do you picture when masturbating?

SB: “your ass. and your lips.”

YOU: “that was quick, woah.”

SB: “sorry y/n’s mom.”

SOOBIN: what’s your favorite and least favorite sex position?

YOU: “i think i like spooning the most? only because i don’t have to do a lot of work.”

SB: “i can’t believe you tried to convince me you’re not a pillow princess.”

YOU: “i’m not! i can be on top if i want to!”

SB: “isn’t that your least favorite though?”

YOU: “yes, but anything is good if it involves your dick so…”

SB: “and you say i’m the needy one.”

YOU: “it’s mutual!”

YOU: the average duration of sex for most couples is 10 minutes. how long do you think we last?

SB: “honestly, hours.”

YOU: “he has an inhuman libido. please pray for me.”

SB: “okay, ‘inhuman’ is an exaggeration.”

YOU: “no, you are like superman. i’m serious.”

SOOBIN: what is my biggest flaw?

YOU: “you only dress up if it’s for special occasions.”

SB: “i try my best!”

YOU: “will you let me reform your closet?”

SB: “as long as you’re paying.”

YOU: “...nevermind. you look sexy in sweatpants anyways.”

SOOBIN: about 40 to 60% of married couples divorce. do you think we will last?

YOU: “check back in after a year.”

SB: “woah, i thought we were going to grow old and wrinkly and brittle together? you don’t want to bump canes?”

YOU: “i don’t like the way you worded that.”

SB: “so i’m going to take that as a yes.”

you roll your eyes, but a smile forms on your face nonetheless.

YOU: “in all seriousness, you know i’m in love with you and i don’t think there’s anyone else out there that i’d even consider marrying. i’d love to grow wrinkly and old with you.”

SB: “awe, my little prune.”

YOU: “you’re so weird.”

SB: “and now you’re stuck with me forever~”

you look towards the camera.

YOU: “save me, please.”

masterlist

©️BEOM-PYU

[leaawrites]

Bed Chem (PA17)

Paul Aron x fem!reader

Summary: when in desperate need for good food, get a cute guy's phone number.

Warnings: fluff, maybe some minor smut, cursing,

Wordcount:

Masterlist, Short n'Sweet Series

Coast. Sun. The Italian beauty surrounding you in a way you hoped would stay in your memory forever. Friends around you that you wished would stay by your side forever. The stones under your feet so soft and soothing in a way it could only happen in the summer.

Y/n looked up from her book, watching out for her friends every once in a while to see if they were still both alive in the ocean. Seeing them have fun and play mermaids made her smile. A feeling of warmth spreading through her chest that only they could make her feel. The shadow of the cliff next to their secret spot was providing her the medicine she needed most from a headache forming from the heat.

They were in Italy for a few days already. Mostly in the water or taking pictures or eating. It was what they were there for. Getting time off from university and living life a little more fully. They have been friends ever since kindergarten and with summer being the only time they could see each other, they spent their whole time together.

She could hear voices talking on top of the cliff and soon enough a body landed in the water. Breaking the surface with a big splash and scaring the three girls with the sudden movement they didn’t expect. Abby let out a loud scream of shock and Lola only laughed at her reaction. Not as faced by the action as her friends, Y/n stayed back. Observing rather than interfering. She didn’t know where this would go but if it was good, she didn’t wanna ruin it.

Watching the interaction from afar, she had a clearer view on how many people were in the water. 4 guys and her two friends.

“I’m sorry if we scared you, but we called out,” he said, apologizing and defending himself at the same time. Holding his hands up in defense.

“Don’t worry, just a small shock,” Abby said, waving his guilt off and assuring him that they were alright.

“Isn’t it dangerous to jump from so far high up without knowing where you’ll land?” Lola interfered in their conversation. Bugging in with her motherly protective nature.

“We do this very year, it’s fine,” another guy said. He had thick blond hair and seemed rather muscular. The corner of his lips pulling up slightly as he talked.

“You are here every year?” Lola asked, her eyes widen and hope flickering through her pupils. They all nodded, confused at her sudden happiness. “We’ve been trying to find a good dinner place that isn’t already booked out every night but also tastes good. Maybe you have some recommendations?”

“Sure,” the blonde answered. “You’ve got a phone with you? We could send you some addresses if you want to.”

“That would be amazing,” Abby said. She was already starving for great food ever since they arrived, hearing the possibility of great Italian food was all that she needed to get out of the water. The blonde followed her.

They walked over to where Y/n sat, who was still watching, Abby taking the girls phone and opening the contacts. She held it to the guy and waited for him to take it before she glanced down at her friends scowling face. Being the only completely single friend, it was always her phone that was used for guys’ phone numbers. ‘It could be someone good between all the other assholes,’ Lola explained the first time they did it. It hadn’t worked once.

He gave it back to Abby, before looking at the other girl too. “Hey.” He smiled at her. The way he looked at her making her face heat up and her chest churn.

“Hi,” she said back, squinting her eyes from the sun and smiling back awkwardly.

God was he hot.

Abby gave her the phone back before leaving the pair to their own devices and jumping back into the water.

“I’m Y/n,” she introduced herself. The least she could do now that she already had his number in her phone.

“Paul,” he said back, shaking her hand that she had stuck out to him.

“Paul, come on. We’re doing another round,” one of his friends shouted their way, making them both look at him waving for Paul to walk over.

“I’ll see you,” Paul said before hurrying off.

“What are you doing now?” Abby asked, laying down next to her friend on the bed.

They were back in their beach house, waiting for Paul to send them the locations.

“Nothing,” Y/n answered, looking at her phone in hopes of the boy texting her. He didn’t.

“Maybe just ask him,” Lola proposed from the table she was seated at, her mirror in front of her and make up strewn around the surface.

“I’m not texting him again,” Y/n said. “One time is more than enough.”

A simple, ‘hey, it’s Y/n from the cliff today. Got any good dinner places for us yet?’

Not her text, not her confidence.

Abby stole her phone after she wondered too long about what to write for her liking. It was always about taking risks for her. Even on the cost of others.

In the next second, her phone lit up, signaling a new message incoming. Looking at the screen, the two girls on the bed squealed.

Paul had answered.

‘Hey, got a few of our favourites for you.’

And then 4 links to websites of restaurants near them. The three of them looked through them, after sending a ‘thank you’ and eagerly imagining the delicious food they will hopefully soon taste.

Another text from him, when they were on the second website, looking through the menu and prices.

‘Maybe we could take y’all out, a little tour guide around restaurants if you will ;)’

“Holy shit,” Lola said, smiling at the pop-up. “Holy shit. Answer him!”

“What am I supposed to say?” Y/n panicked as she clicked on the text icon.

“Say yes!” Abby urged her, shaking her by her shoulders in excitement. “Maybe he’ll take you out all alone tomorrow.”

“Abby, calm down,” Y/n said, blushing. A deep shade of red creeping up her face. “I barely know him.”

“The way you looked at him said enough,” Lola joined in on the teasing.

“I didn’t look at him in any way.”

“Sure, you didn’t,” they both said at the same time, rolling their eyes in the process. “But then there was they way he looked at you.”

“He didn’t look at me in any way!” She kept on trying to make them shut up.

“Yeah, right.”

“I bet he’s good in bed,” Abby said, never having a filter over what should stay in her head and what was appropriate to be shared with the world.

“Oh my god, stop it!” Y/n let out frustrated, letting her head fall on the mattress.

“Just admit that you think he’s cute.” They didn’t receive an answer, but a groan instead. Probably an eye roll too. Still she couldn’t get the pictures out of her head. With him hovering over her, his arms brushing over her skin so delicately and yet so desperately. Could he be the exception?

His lips on her hips, on her collarbone, on her own. His voice whispering in her ear in such a filthy manner. What would he sound like the morning after? Would his voice be raspy? His accent thicker than it already was? Would his body feel softer, more relaxed?

She imagined their bodies moving together, almost melting into one. Them laughing when something didn’t go the way they planned. Her laughing at the feel of his hair against her bare skin.

A feeling of warmth spreading through her body that only he could make her feel. With his sweet voice whispering in her ear. His hands on her waist, on her face, on her thighs.

‘We would love to.’

[stars4gojo]

Let the Light in

Dad!Gojo x fem!reader // mentions of arguments & fights, angst, fluff // 947 words // gradeschool!Megumi

Gojo is used to people leaving him he believes when you die you die alone so it comes as a shock when you stay.

More of my work 🤍

You silently sit and stare at the boy across your dinner table - unable to find the right words. To say that you’re mad is an understatement, Satoru is late again, and your 7-year-old boy got into another fight. You impatiently tap your foot, wrapping your arms around your chest while Megumi eats up his sandwich.

The door suddenly opens and Gojo walks in, a box of cake in his hand and a big cheeky smile on his face.

You sigh exasperatedly as you turn to your clock and then to him, “Do you know how late you are Satoru? We’ve been waiting for almost an hour now.” You speak sternly.

“I’m sorry princess but I had to buy this little celebratory cake, Megumi did win his first fight.” Gojo replied as your eyes twitched in irritation.

“So, champ did you tuck your thumb in every punch.” Gojo bended down to Megumi as he patted his head.

“He used cursed energy to beat up 4 sixth graders.” You deadpanned before Megumi could say anything.

Gojo got up as his mouth dropped agape.

“You should’ve said so! I would’ve bought some party streamers with the cake.” Gojo replied as he snorted at his joke.

“Satoru this is serious, our 7-year-old child is beating up sixth graders with cursed energy - it could lead to big and i mean big injuries.” You frowned as you saw Megumi put his head down in shame.

“You understand what you did wrong right Gumi?” You added as he nodded shyly.

“I’m sorry” he replied curtly.

“Promise you won’t do it again” you spoke as you held out your pinky that he gladly accepted with a small smile.

“Thank you, now go to your room.” You said as his small figure dragged his feet to his room.

You knew that you would speak to him again privately about the situation but for now you had to deal with your man child of a boyfriend.

Now you turn towards Gojo who’s still standing there with little to no interest in the conversation.

“Toru what was that about? You can’t be congratulating or be excited for him when he’s getting into fights - you cannot encourage this behaviour.” You started speaking as your eyebrows squeezed in disappointment.

“Look y/n he is my child on papers so I think I can decide what to do.” He replied putting emphasis on the word “my”.

Your mouth fell slightly in shock as your eyebrow raised.

“No- no that’s not what I meant” He quickly added but the damage was already done.

“Okay Satoru, since Megumi is your child and he has absolutely nothing to do with me, I’ll be taking my leave.” You said as tears slowly formed in your eyes.

“Wha- that’s not what I me- where will you even go?” He asked hurriedly - now he’s worrying.

“That’s none of your business.” You spoke while grabbing your bag.

And just like that you were out the door.

-

It’s been 6 hours since you left, Gojo finished giving Megumi and Tsumiki their dinner (he ordered in McDonald’s) and even tucked them into bed - giving them little reassurances that you’re gone to Aunty Shoko’s house for a sleepover. But your two children were clever, they knew something was up, the little screaming match was not left unheard and Gojo’s worried glances towards his phone were not left unnoticed. But they also knew better than to question your love for them they knew you were different than biological parents - they trusted you completely to return.

Gojo flopped on the couch as he stared up at the ceiling, he sighed exhaustedly as it finally hit him - you had left.

He tried calling every number of every person you could possibly stay with, the only person who hadn’t picked up was Shoko no matter how many times he called so he assumed you were with her.

The silence slowly engulfs him as he looks back on the moment, he thinks to himself why he would ever say that. When he adopted Megumi and Tsumiki you two had promised each other that you were in this together. This silence grows by every second and he thinks he’s used to it - the same silence was there when his grandmother had passed, when he left geto to die and now it’s back to taunt him after you left.

His train of thoughts is stopped when he hears the door lock click, he turns his head comically fast to see you standing there giving him a tight-lipped smile.

He runs up to you as he takes you in his arms; not giving you any time to react.

“I’m sorry I’m so sorry you know I didn’t mean that right?” He spoke quickly as if you were going to disappear any second now.

“I love you so much and it was so wrong for me to even think that you’re any less of a parent to them.” He added as you let go of his embrace.

“I’m sorry Toru I shouldn’t have left, you’re right I’m not any less of a parent and it really hurt me to hear you say it.” You spoke with a slight frown still apparent on your lips.

“I know I know I promise I’ll never ever say that again so please don’t ever leave us to go to Shokos again.” He replied with a pout as you giggled in response.

“Alright your big baby, let’s get to bed?” You added as you grabbed his arms to interlock with yours and headed to bed where he would cuddle you all night.

'Cause I like to love, to love, to love, to love you I hate to hate, to hate, to hate, to hate you

[daddyslilchickenfingers2]

Kinktober (reuploaded)

Breeding (Chris)

Request: Baby fever with Chris I BEG YOU/omg when you write breeding Chris can you add Y/N saying she wants to have a baby with such pretty blue eyes like Chris

Warnings: Talk of pregnancy, breeding obviously, soft/slow sex

Y/n’s pov

Chris and I have been dating since we were 17 but I’ve known him and his brothers since we were 4 years old. From the moment we started dating, our families always joked saying we’d get married one day. Well, that was a future reality, since Chris had proposed to me in May of this year. Even though we’ve only been engaged for a few months and we’re only 20, I would love to start a family with him. We had this conversation the other day with Nick and Matt, for some reason the topic was babies and Chris was ecstatic.

“I want like four or five babies! I can’t wait until Y/n gets pregnant, she’s gonna be so cute with our baby in her belly” he smiled, poking me in the stomach. “Ow Chris don’t do that. We do have baby fever though” I laughed as Nick grimaced. “I hate babies and I hate children” he said, Matt smacked him, “Oh shut up Nick you know when they have a baby you’re gonna be the cool gay uncle” he laughed. “I’m not changing diapers” Nick grimaced again, “I wanna make Y/n fat and pregnant” Chris beamed happily.

That was like five days ago, today we were having a lazy day, we lived in the guest house behind Matt and Nick’s. They got it built after hearing me and Chris fuck too many times, but still, it was a nice gesture and we get to still live with them basically. “Would you really have babies with me?” I asked Chris as I cuddled up to his side. “I’d love nothing more than to get you fat and pregnant. Our babies would look so cute” I could literally hear the smile in his voice. I pulled away and sat up against the headboard, Chris doing the same right after, looking at me with a big smile.

“Our kids can’t call me daddy though, that would be fucking weird” he laughed, causing me to smack his chest. “They could call my parents Mimi and Papa, and yours Grammy and Pop-Pop. Those sound so cute!” I gushed. “My dad would love Pop-Pop” Chris laughed again. “You know what I would love?” I asked, earning a small hum for me to continue, “I’d love for the baby to have your pretty blue eyes and gorgeous pink lips” I told him as my eyes shifted between the two, Chris doing the same to me. “Yeah?” he asked breathlessly against my lips, “Yeah” I said back in the same way.

Chris leaned in and softly pressed his lips against mine, moving us to lay back. “Let’s make that blue-eyed baby right now! You’re off birth control right?” he asked softly, stroking my cheek with his thumb. “Yes, now let’s make that baby” I smiled, placing a passionate kiss to his lips, after a few minutes, Chris pulled away. He took off his shirt and sweats before pushing my shirt up to see my stomach. “You’re gonna look so good pregnant. Can’t wait to put a baby in your belly” he said while kissing all over my stomach.

“Chris— babe please hurry!” “Sorry, I’m just so excited to have a kid with you” he blushed hard. Chris pulled my shirt over my head before taking off both our underwear, running two fingers through my folds. “So wet already- can we just go straight into softly fucking?” he asked breathlessly, “God, yes” I whined back. Chris slowly slid in and started thrusting fairly fast right away, not too fast though. I pulled him down for another kiss and we let breathless moans out into it, having both a passionate kiss and sex. I was running my fingers through his hair softly while the other held onto the side of his jaw.

One of Chris’ hands moved down to my clit, rubbing it quickly. Pulling away from the kiss, he started talking, “This is like the slowest sex we’ve ever had but— shit! This is gonna be the fastest I’ve ever cum, want you to cum for me princess” he said lowly. I let out a few loud moans before I started cumming, “Oh fuck Chris, so good babe. Want you to cum in me” I moaned. Chris hid his head in my neck, whining as he came in me, pumping into me a few more times before pulling out. He immediately moved down to finger his cum into me, not wanting any to spill out.

“Can’t believe we’re going to have a baby” he said excitedly, kissing all over my stomach. “They’re going to have the prettiest blue eyes, just like their dad” I smiled while playing with his hair. “God, I love you so much Y/n!” he said, looking at the pretty engagement ring on my finger. “I love you so much more” I replied as we both cuddled up with each other and drifted off to sleep, hoping we’d have a happy little family soon.

<<< 12 months later>>>

A few months ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Chris was ecstatic to find out he was going to have a son. He does, in fact, have Chris’ pretty blue eyes, he’s so tiny but you can already tell he has his dads nose as well. We named him Nolan Cole Sturniolo, Chris is literally the best dad ever, he helps me with everything. Matt and Nick are so excited that they’re uncles now, Matt always offers to babysit him so me and Chris can go on date nights. I wonder if he’ll be confused when he grows up, having a dad and two uncles who look exactly the same and all. Anyways I’m very happy with our little family.

[sidekick-hero]

First Love, Second Chance (Part 4)

(steddie | teen | tags: exes to lovers, canon divergence (Eddie lives), future fic (set 2001) | Part 4)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

He stood up abruptly, his hand slipping out from under Lisa’s. “Uhm, thank you, Lisa. I just… I have to… bathroom. Be right back!”

Before she could respond, he turned and practically bolted toward where he’d seen Eddie disappear, his heart pounding with every step.

The bathroom was surprisingly spacious and clean, and, thankfully, empty — except for Eddie, who stood by the sink, washing his hands. Steve burst through the door, and Eddie’s head snapped up at the sudden intrusion.

“Steve?” Eddie's voice was laced with confusion, but beneath it, Steve detected a flicker of alarm. Even after all these years, the shadows of the Upside Down still hung over them, making them more wary and jumpy than any thirty-something had a right to be.

Steve took a few steps toward Eddie, raising his hands in a gesture of peace. “It’s okay, Eds. Everything’s good. I just… I wanted to talk to you, I guess.”

“Talk to me? In the bathroom?” Eddie's confusion remained, but now there was a hint of amusement in his voice, a twinkle in those familiar doe eyes. “What’s so urgent it couldn’t wait?”

“Do you miss me?” Steve blurted out before he could stop himself, the words spilling out unplanned. He hadn’t meant to ask that — hadn’t even thought about asking that — but now it was hanging in the air between them, and all he could do was wait for Eddie’s response, his heart hammering in his chest.

Eddie’s eyes widened in surprise, and Steve felt a pang of self-consciousness, but he couldn’t take the question back now. Eddie’s brown eyes — eyes Steve had once gotten lost in so many times — searched his face, as if looking for some kind of trap, or maybe an explanation for why Steve was asking something so loaded after almost a decade of silence.

And then, slowly, Eddie’s expression softened, the lines around his mouth easing into something gentler. “What do you think, Steve?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you,” Steve replied, his voice quieter, almost tentative.

Eddie’s lips twitched, a hint of a smile playing at the corners. “Do you miss me?”

“Uh-uh,” Steve countered, shaking his head with a tiny grin. “I asked first.”

A smile finally broke free on Eddie’s face. “Alright, fine. Yes, I do.”

“Yeah?” Steve asked, the hope in his voice unmistakable.

Eddie stepped closer, just a small movement, but it brought them so near that their chests were nearly touching. “Yeah,” he whispered, his voice soft but certain. “More than I should… considering I was the one who walked out that goddamn door.”

“Eddie,” Steve began softly, feeling the weight of Eddie's guilt like a shadow between them. He hated how Eddie seemed to shoulder the blame for their breakup when, in truth, it wasn’t about blame at all. They’d just ended up at a crossroads, wanting different things. It wasn’t like either of them had set out to hurt the other. It was just… life.

But Eddie cut him off before he could say any of that. “No, please. Let me say this.” His voice trembled with urgency. “I’ve thought about you, about us, so damn much. Most of my songs are about it, actually. And I wanted to tell you I’m sorry for a long time now, but… I think we’ve established I’m a coward sometimes. I thought about calling you a thousand times over these past years, but I was scared you wouldn’t want to hear from me. And maybe I deserved that, but the thought of it… it hurt too much. But now we’re here, and you’re talking to me, so… no more running, right?”

Steve didn’t say anything, because Eddie already knew he’d never thought of him as a coward. He’d always told Eddie to cut himself some slack, and he still believed it. Instead, Steve reached out and took Eddie’s hand, the warmth of it familiar and grounding, like it belonged there.

“I should’ve fought for us,” Eddie continued, his voice thick with regret. “I realized it the moment the door closed behind me, but I was too damn stubborn to admit it. I convinced myself that because we wanted different things, that had to mean that we weren’t meant to work. I was so young and stupid. You were my first, Stevie. My first lover, my first love, my first relationship. My first heartbreak. I had no idea what I was doing. I just knew I needed to get out of Hawkins, to get away, to try and leave all that crap behind. Be free to travel with that hush money, try to be a rockstar. And you…”

“And I wanted to settle down,” Steve finished quietly. “To feel safe again for the first time since ’83. Build a life, a home, maybe even a family…”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah, exactly. Only later did I realize we could’ve found a way to make it work. I never asked you to figure out a plan with me, to see if we could meet somewhere in the middle. I just… gave up. Not on you — never on you, Stevie — but on us. And that’s my biggest regret. I wish…” Eddie’s voice cracked, his words coming out in a raw whisper, “I wish I’d stayed. Tried to figure it out instead of running away.”

Steve squeezed Eddie’s hand, taking a moment to absorb everything he’d said. He remembered their last conversation so vividly — Eddie standing there with his bags already packed, spouting things about them not working, saying Steve deserved a chance to find someone who could give him everything he wanted. It had blindsided Steve back then, left him reeling, wondering what he’d done to push Eddie away. They’d had their fights, sure, but nothing that ever seemed so final. He’d never understood where Eddie’s words had come from… until now.

“I just don’t get it,” Steve murmured. “Why? I thought we were happy. I always thought you were happy, too. Until I came home and found you packed up, saying you had to leave. What happened?”

To Steve’s surprise, Eddie’s eyes were brimming with unshed tears. He swallowed hard, his voice coming out small and broken. “I don’t know,” he admitted, sounding ashamed. “I think… I think I got scared. Scared of how much I loved you and how happy you made me, even in that godforsaken town. Then… Wayne sent me this old journal of my mom’s that had come in the mail. My cousin found it while cleaning out her parents’ house. In it, she wrote about meeting my dad, getting pregnant, and how her whole life changed overnight. But she was happy because she loved him, and she was gonna be a mom, and she was convinced she’d love her kid so much.” Eddie’s voice cracked again, and Steve felt him tremble. “The way she talked about my dad, about her life and her dreams… it reminded me of me. She wanted to be a singer too, you know. But she gave it all up — for him. For me. And then she died and I never had a chance to ask her if she had any regrets.”

“Oh, Eddie…” Steve whispered, dropping Eddie’s hand to pull him into a tight hug. “Baby, I’m so sorry you went through that alone.”

“I wanted to tell you. I should’ve told you,” Eddie’s voice was muffled against Steve’s shoulder, his tears hot against Steve’s skin. “But I didn’t know how. I didn’t want you to think I was comparing you to my dad or that I wasn’t happy with you. But reading all that, it messed me up. I got lost in my head and… I did something stupid. I lost the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Steve held him tighter, feeling Eddie’s heartbeat against his own, a rhythm he had missed more than he’d ever admitted. “You didn’t lose me, Eds,” he whispered, his lips brushing Eddie’s ear. “I’m right here. And maybe… maybe this time, we don’t have to figure it all out right away. Maybe this time, we just… try.”

Eddie pulled back, his eyes wide and searching. “Do you…” He paused, clearing his throat as if trying to steady himself. “You mean that?”

Steve offered him a soft smile and nodded. “Yeah, I mean it. I missed you, too. I’ve spent so much time wondering where it all went wrong, what had happened. And I’ve wondered if I should’ve fought harder for us. Because while you walked away… I let you. I didn’t try to stop you or get you to talk it out. I just… accepted that maybe you didn’t love me anymore. I thought, everybody leaves, so why not you too?”

“Steve, no,” Eddie blurted out, but Steve gently shushed him.

“I know now that wasn’t true. I’ve learned a lot about myself these last few years. Robin even convinced me to see a therapist and, well…” Steve chuckled, a little embarrassed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Who would’ve thought, but it actually helped. What I’m trying to say is, I’m glad you told me everything. But I don’t want you to feel like it’s all your fault. We both made mistakes, we were both young, and we were both dealing with a lot of trauma. But, despite what the kids might think, life doesn’t end at 30. Who’s to say we can’t try again?”

The look of wonder on Eddie’s face would have been almost comical if Steve’s heart wasn’t pounding in his chest. Then, like the sun breaking through the clouds, a smile began to form on Eddie’s face.

“I… I’d really like that,” Eddie said at last, as Steve’s hands continued to gently rub his arms. The tears had stopped, but Eddie's eyes were still red-rimmed and slightly swollen. “To be honest, I knew you and Robin had moved here ages ago. Henderson told me. I’d hoped I might run into you someday, though I never imagined it would happen like this.” He hurried to add, “I didn’t plan on it. Jeff kept pushing me to get back out there, signed me up for this without me even knowing.”

“Wait… so he filled out your profile?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Because that means we could have been a match! You didn’t even fill out the questions yourself.”

Eddie laughed softly, tucking a strand of hair behind Steve’s ear. “He didn’t mention anything about questions. But I’m sure you would’ve been my perfect match, Stevie. You always were, I was just too stupid to see it.”

“No, I think you just didn’t realize that you were my perfect match too, dummy.” Steve replied, affection dripping from every word.

As they spoke, their faces drew closer, their breaths mingling. It felt almost like a miracle that no one else had walked in, but Steve wasn’t about to question their luck.

“You’re right,” Eddie murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “Good thing I have you to remind me.” And with that, he finally closed the gap, leaning in and brushing his lips softly against Steve’s, sealing the moment with a kiss that felt like coming home.

Part 5

[manfuckthisimout]

This look RAHHHHHH

Your relationship with your boss was an odd one. It was obvious to everyone in the precinct that you and the detective were more than just boss and secretary. But you would never admit that, and August D had a weird way of showing his fondness. It was the same way every workday—come in at 6:30, find the detective already at his desk, make him coffee, start the day. He would fuss and scold you for little things, make excuses to stay at your desk and talk to you.

You two kind of danced around each other, an unspoken possessive from the detective, and you playing coy until he finally fesses up that he likes you.

He storms out of his office while you’re scheduling his next meeting.

“Didn’t I tell you not to mix up these documents?” he says, holding up a manila file folder. He looks quite frustrated, cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth, suit jacket off and sleeves rolled past his forearms.

Yelling at you like this does virtually nothing in his favor—if anything it just makes you rub your thighs together. “I’m sorry sir,” you smooth out, batting your eyelashes up at him. “I thought your desk needed some tidying, and you were out in a case so..” He gives you a pointed look. “That doesn’t give you a reason to touch anything in my office. If I want you to tidy anything of mine, I’ll ask you to.” You nod, turning your attention back to the computer screen in front of you.

“Did you schedule my meeting with Captain Jung?” He asks, leaning over the front of your desk. You can feel him staring into your forehead, almost trying to make you squirm in your seat. “Of course sir, I just finished. Your meeting is for 4:30 today.” “Good.” He gives you one last long look over before pushing off your desk and walking back into his office.

You look up from your computer, staring at the deep mahogany that separates you and your boss. “Y’know, we have a running bet pool on which of you is gonna confess first.” Your coworker, Su-min slides over to your desk and props her hand under her chin. “What are you talking about? There’s nothing going on between me and him,” you sigh. “Sure. Tell it to the rest of us.” She chides back. “Don’t you have a case to be doing right now? That missing girl right? How long has it been?” “About a week or so. I really hope we can find her alive, but it’s starting to look grim.” She grimaces. “I hope you end up finding her either way—“

“Y/N! My office, now!”

Suddenly his door was cracked, and you could see him walking back to his desk, waiting for you.

You turn to Su-min and grimace. “Duty calls. Tell me about the case after I get done with this.” She grins at you. “Don’t start fooling around in there, keep it PG!” You roll your eyes, standing from your desk and walking into the detective’s office.

“You called for me detective?” You answer sweetly. “Sit. I have something to talk to you about.” You sit in one of the leather chairs in front of his desk, feeling his eyes on you the whole time. He gets up and rounds the front of his desk, leaning against it to look at you better. “We’ve known each other for quite sometime now,” he starts, arms folded and head down. He smirks. “You and I both know that I’ve been dancing around you these past years-“ “Is that what you call it sir?” He pauses. “Excuse me?” “Is that what you call it, this situation I mean. I was very aware of your feelings about me from the day we met sir. The whole precinct knows how you act around me.” “..I’ve been that bad at hiding it then?” “Pretty much.”

He sighs. “I know I haven’t been…vocal..about my feelings for you. I’d like to fix that. Do you want to go to lunch with me sometime?” You smile at his bluntness. He’s always been bad with words like this, saving his poetical vocabulary for high-stress situations with criminals. “What’s so funny?” He asks, brow raised, smile on his face. “You are. You’re so bad with words sir..” You giggle. He leans down, gripping either side of the arms on the chair. He’s so close to you now, noses almost touching. “I am, hm? And that’s funny?” You nod. He chuckles. “I’m looking forward to getting to know you.” “Lunch right? What time?” “Lunch time.” You grimace. “Well, I assumed that much. 12 or 1?” “12:30.” “12:30 it is. I’ll mark it on your personal calendar.”

He lifts himself from his position, rounding his desk again and sitting in his chair. He stares at you longingly. “I’d suggest you get back out there. Wouldn’t want to keep the office waiting on who won that bet.” You chuckle. “Yes sir.”

Second fic rawr

This came to me in a feverish daydream

Also because of boredom

Hope you like!!

[coolemmasulivan2]

Rewinding Us | 3

Pairing: Mason Mount x Reader

Summary: You and Mason built a love story over five years, but after an accident, your memories are wiped away, including any feelings for your constant bickering "rival". Can you remember your love story with Mason, or will you have to start all over?

Word count: 3826

You can read part 1 here, part 2 here and part 4 here

I slip and wonder who I'd be If I never found you and you never found me Well, I don't wanna see

The hospital waiting room was a clean expanse of white, the walls gleaming as if freshly painted. Mason sat on the edge of a blue chair, his leg bouncing nervously. A heavy silence pressed down on him, broken only by the soft voices of nurses and a few others just like him, waiting for their loved ones.

He was alone. The others were already on the plane, on their way home. Charlotte had promised to catch the next flight out as soon as she landed in London, but until then, he was alone and in fear.

His mind raced back to the villa. He ran after you, but you'd always been surprisingly fast, a burst of unexpected energy that often caught him off guard. He remembered the times when you would run away from him, with laughter echoing through the house, often triggered by a harmless joke or the sudden appearance of an unwelcome spider.

The car had appeared out of nowhere. It was as if the world had slowed down. He remembered the shock that froze him in place, the desperate shout that tore from his throat.

Now, alone in the white room, the weight of everything pressed down on him. He should have been faster. He should have protected you.

A voice cut through the room, bringing him back to the present. “Family of Miss Y/l/n?” The doctor, a man with tired eyes, stood in the doorway.

Mason jumped to his feet, his voice hoarse. “How is she? Is she okay?”

The doctor adjusted his glasses. “Miss Y/l/n has sustained multiple injuries, primarily to her leg and arm. She’s currently in surgery to stabilize her condition.”

Relief washed over Mason. “Will she be okay?” His voice trembled slightly.

The doctor nodded. “We’re optimistic about her recovery. The injuries are serious, but she’s young and strong.”

He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "Ahm-- Not long ago, she was involved in a car accident. A drunk driver hit her car and she lost her memory. Can this…?"

"We’ve conducted tests, and thankfully, this accident hasn’t caused any further brain damage.” Mason's heart pounded in his chest. A wave of gratitude washed over Mason. The doctor continued: “We’ll keep you updated on her condition. Someone will inform you as soon as she’s out of surgery.”

Mason nodded and managed a weak smile. “Thank you!”

It was a sunny afternoon, and the air was thick with the sweet scent of jasmine. You and Mason were attending a friend's wedding, and the sound of laughter and clinking glasses filled the air.

You never used to care about catching the bridal bouquet, but your friends teased you and something sparked inside you. With a burst of unexpected agility, you managed to catch the delicate bouquet of flowers. Cheers erupted from the crowd, but your eyes locked onto Mason's, his expression a mix of amusement as his friends made fun of him.

"Well, well, well!" His friend Toby teased him. "Looks like someone's future is looking bright."

Mason grinned, taking a sip of his champagne. You walked through him, the bouquet clutched triumphantly in your hands, a smirk playing on your lips.

"I think I need a ring on my finger, Mount!" You teased, leaning in to kiss his lips.

A mischievous glint appeared in his eyes. "About that…" he began, his voice trailing off as he reached into his pocket. Your heart pounded in anticipation. "I haven't picked out the perfect one yet." He pulled his hand and it was… empty. "But I promise, it's coming."

Relief washed over you, mixed with a touch of disappointment. You hit his chest playfully. "Don't tease me like that, you idiot!"

He laughed, wrapping an arm around your waist. "I couldn't resist." He said, his voice soft. "But seriously, I can't wait to make you my wife." He pecked. A blush crept up your cheeks. You'd talked about marriage before, but hearing him say it so openly, with such conviction, made your heart flutter. You leaned into his embrace, feeling safe and loved.

"Don't say that to our moms," you teased, burying your face in his neck to hide your blush. "They'll probably start organizing the wedding the next day."

He chuckled, tightening his arm around you. "Who do you think is helping me find the ring?" He murmured, his breath warm against your skin.

You pulled back to look at him, a playful glare in your eyes. "Stop it. You're trying to embarrass me."

"I'm always trying to embarrass you," he replied, a mischievous glint in his eyes. You playfully punched his arm, but couldn't hide the smile that spread across your face. "I can't wait to marry you."

Your eyes felt heavy, refusing to open against the bright light. Your body was a battlefield of pain, and every muscle hurt. A desperate need to call out, to reach for someone, filled you, but your throat was parched.

With a huge effort, you forced your eyelids open. The room was a blur of white, the silence broken only by the steady beep of a machine. Fear and cold ran through your consciousness. You wanted to sleep, to escape the pain and confusion, but a primal instinct to survive kept you tethered to the waking world.

Your eyelids grew heavy once more. With a resigned sigh, you surrendered to sleep, hoping to find peace in the silent depths of your unconsciousness.

"The guy wasn't being friendly with you. He wanted to get in your pants." Mason said, standing before you and Declan.

You were shaking, not from the cold but from anger. Declan sensed it and placed a comforting hand on your back.

"Mase, come on!" Declan said, giving him a warning look.

Mason ran a hand through his hair. "It's true. The guy had his hands practically inside her dress."

That was it. You stood up, your voice trembling. "And what does that matter to you? You're not my boyfriend, we're not even friends, so stop pretending and don't interfere in my life."

Declan gently pulled you away from his best friend. "We're just worried about you! The guy didn't look friendly and the bruise on your wrist confirms that."

You rolled your eyes. "I had everything under control until Mount decided to step in and ruin everything."

Mason let out a frustrated sigh. "I saved you!"

"I don't need you to save me." You retorted.

"Good!" Mason shouted, with his hands in the air. "I don't intend to do it again."

You slowly opened your eyes, and as your vision adjusted, you gazed through the window on your left, realizing it was dark outside. You could hear the soft murmur of voices from the hallway, however, what truly caught you off guard was the fact that you were no longer alone.

Mason was sound asleep in the cosy armchair beside your bed. His hand was propped against his head, holding it up, while his unkempt hair suggested that he had been running his hands through it too many times.

You took another sweeping glance around the room and spotted a plastic cup filled with water. Carefully, you reached out, stretching your arm to grasp it. As your fingers nearly touched the cup, it slipped and tumbled to the ground.

The noise woke Mason up from his nap, and his heart instantly started beating faster, afraid that something had happened. But when he saw that you were awake, he let out a sigh of relief. He stood up and approached your bed.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" You tried to speak, but your throat was too dry for the words to come out. Mason realised and picked up the cup from the floor, throwing it in the trash. "I'll get you another cup. I'll be right back."

He quickly exited the room, only to return a few minutes later with a cup of water in his hand and a doctor right behind him.

"Miss Y/l/n, good to see you awake." The doctor began, his voice laced with professional concern. "How are you feeling? Any pain?” With your throat dry, still no words seemed to want to escape.

Mason stepped in to help when he saw your silent plea. “Here!” He said softly, pressing the cup into your hands. With weak hands, you brought it to your lips and took small sips of the cool water.

After a brief but intense check-up by the doctor, you were left alone with Mason.

Being alone with Mason felt weird. A depth of unspoken words and unanswered questions hung heavy in the air. If only you hadn't run from him, from that kiss, you wouldn't be in the hospital. But it had all been too much.

Mason pulled the armchair closer and sat down. His hand found yours, and a gentle squeeze was all the comfort you needed. "The others landed in London, but Charlotte's already on her way back!" He said, his voice low. You nodded, taking another sip of water. His eyes held worry. "Are you really okay? Do you need anything?"

You shook your head. “I’m fine." You whispered. The moment your gazes met, the weight of his worry seemed to lift. Your eyes drifted to your intertwined hands, his long fingers tracing gentle patterns on your palm. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

His eyes held yours. No more words were needed. “How could I?” He began. "You had no memory of us! Saw me as nothing more than the guy you despised." His gaze fell to the floor. “I thought maybe you’d be better off without me, without the chaos of my life. You never complained, but I could see the stress it had on you. Dealing with the media, the fans—it’s a heavy burden. I wanted to give you a chance at a normal life.”

You looked up at the ceiling, your voice rising slightly. “That was not your choice to make!”

"I know." He whispered, his voice barely audible. "I just wanted to protect you."

A heavy silence settled between you. You squeezed his hand back. "I appreciate it. Believe me, I do." You said softly. "But If I didn't like the life we had I would have told you."

Mason emerged from the kitchen, a saviour with a pizza box in one hand and a mischievous sparkle in his eye. "Pizza break?" He offered, his voice filled with amusement.

"What about your diet?"

Mason shrugged. "I will put in more effort during the next training session." You collapsed onto the sofa, relief washing over you. As you devoured your slice, the cheesy goodness melting in your mouth, Mason leaned in, brushing a stray piece of cheese from your lip with his thumb.

"I can't believe we're actually doing this!" He said, his voice soft.. You looked up at him, your heart full. The house, once empty, was slowly transforming into a home.

"Me neither." You replied, your voice filled with happiness. "It feels surreal."

Mason smiled. "Surreal in a good way, right?"

You nodded enthusiastically. "Definitely!" You took another bite of pizza, savouring the moment. As you finished the last slice, Mason stretched out beside you, his arm draped casually over your shoulder. "I can't wait to make more memories here." You said, your voice filled with joy.

Mason turned his head and looked at you, his eyes soft with affection. Slowly, he leaned in, his breath warm against your lips. You closed your eyes as his lips met yours, a gentle and sweet kiss.

Charlotte entered the room, her eyes red and swollen. Mason followed close behind. You were lost in a drugged sleep, oblivious to the storm of emotions in your best friend.

She sank into the chair beside your bed, her hand immediately reaching out to caress your hair. Tears streamed down her face as she whispered, "Oh my God, why does this always happen to her?" She leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "First the drunk driver, and now this!"

Mason leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. "It's been a rough year, that's for sure!" He muttered, his voice barely audible.

Charlotte's gaze snapped to him. Her eyes, filled with concern, held him captive. "Are you okay?"

He offered a weak smile. "I'm fine. Just worried about her."

She knew him too well. "Don't lie to me, Mason." She said softly. "I can see right through you."

He sighed, his shoulders slumping. "It's been a hell of…" He admitted, his voice raw. "What time is it, anyway?"

Charlotte stepped closer, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "She's going to be okay, Mason. We'll wrap her in bubble wrap and keep her safe." A small smile tugged at her lips as she tried to lighten the mood.

Mason chuckled. He pulled her into a tight hug, kissing the top of her head. "I guess we have no choice!"

.

You finally returned to London after spending four days in the hospital. You flew back with Mason and Charlotte, and because your parents were worried about you, you spent the weekend with them.

"Are you going to fly back, or will you catch a ride with Mason?" Your Mom asked you.

Thinking it through, everything was clear now. Living in Manchester, having a big house you couldn't afford with your salary, the lifestyle, the constant attention from people on the street - it was all Mason's.

"Um, Mason said I could go with him." You replied your voice barely a whisper.

Your mom's face lit up with a delighted and conspiratorial grin. Since you told her what happened at the villa, she'd been on an overdrive of matchmaking, talking about how happy she was and about what a good couple you used to be.

"That means you're re-" She began, her voice dripping with excitement.

You cut her off, burying your face in your Dad's shoulder. "That doesn't mean anything!" You protested. Your Dad slyly winked at your Mom across the sofa. "It's just easier and cheaper to go with him. so stop organising our wedding in that little head of yours."

Your Mom's lips curved into a knowing smile. "That's already planned!" She muttered under her breath.

You raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "Did you say something?"

She shook her head, a playful glint in her eye. "Me? No, not at all. Just focus on the show."

Monday morning had the sky in soft hues of pink and gold as Mason pulled up to your parents' house. The familiar sight of the old brick house brought him a wave of nostalgia. He stepped out of the car, a gentle breeze carrying the sweet scent of the morning.

Your mom was waiting for him at the door, her face lightened with a warm smile. "It's so good to see you, Mason!" She exclaimed, pulling him into a hug.

"It's great to see you too." He replied, returning the embrace. Their relationship had always been easy, even during the wild times of your on-and-off hating relationship. "It's good to be back."

Your mom led him inside, the house filled with the comforting aroma of coffee. In the kitchen, your dad was holding his special mug, the one you had made him when you were a kid. "I see some things never change." Mason commented, a smile playing on his lips.

Your dad looked up, his face breaking into a wide grin. "Mason!" He exclaimed, standing up to offer a hearty handshake. "Welcome back, boy."

"Did you have breakfast, Mason?" Your mom asked him.

"Yes, thanks!" He replied, his eyes scanning the room for any sign of you. It wasn't surprising when your mom told him that you were still in bed. You'd always been a non-moring person.

"Why don't you go wake her up?" Your mom suggested.

Mason's heart skipped a beat. "Me?" He stuttered, blushing. "I-I don't think that's a good idea."

Your mom chuckled. "Oh, come on! You've got to win her back, don't you?" She teased. With a gentle push, she directed him towards your room. "Go on, then. Start by waking her up."

"But that's a terrible first step!" He muttered.

Mason hesitated, his mind and heart racing. He knew the best way to wake you up was with soft kisses, but that seemed like a recipe for disaster at this early hour and he would surely get slapped.

The door was slightly open and the sunlight streamed through it. Mason's hand hovered over the handle, his heart pounding in his chest. Before he could knock, the door swung open, revealing you, already dressed and with the luggage in hand.

Surprise flickered across your face. "Mason? What are you doing here?"

He took a moment to drink in your appearance. He didn't know how, but every day you became more breathtaking. "Uh, your mom asked me to wake you up." He stammered, his voice catching in his throat. "But I see you're already awake."

You quickly shut the bedroom door, avoiding his gaze. "Yeah, I had… a nightmare." You explained, clearing your throat. The way you averted your eyes told him the nightmare was about him, but he chose to stay silent, afraid it would cause an argument.

"Let me help you with your suitcase." He offered, trying to change the subject.

"I don't ne--" You hesitated, torn between your pride and being grateful for his help. Finally, you gave in. "Thanks!" You mumbled, handing him the suitcase.

After having breakfast, you and Mason left for a four-hour drive back to Manchester. With the open road stretching before you, the quiet was overwhelming. Your heart was racing. What were you supposed to do for four hours trapped in a car with Mason, alone?

The radio was on and its soft hum filled the car. Traffic was surprisingly light for a Monday. Your eyes wandered around the spacious interior of the car. It was very clean but there were two Starbucks cups, that he had brought. One for you and one for him. A business card from a car dealership, house keys, and a pair of earrings.

Mason must have noticed your curious gaze. "You left those here last time you drove it." He explained.

"I drove this?" You asked him, astonishment filling your tone. The image of yourself behind the wheel of the gigantic car was absurd.

Mason chuckled. "A few times, actually." You stared at him, disbelief written all over my face. "Why so surprised?"

You tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks. "I don't imagine myself driving a car like this." You confessed.

"Well, you weren't exactly a natural." He teased. "But hey, we all start somewhere."

Your mouth opened, pretending you were offended. "I'm an amazing driver, Mount!" Mason laughed and you couldn't help but smile. "I just… I like my mini Cooper."

"I know, I know."

An unexpected calm settled over the car. It was a surprisingly comfortable silence. Lost in the calm of the road and the melody of the radio, you found yourself enjoying the ride.

But the desire to break the silence surprised you. Five years was a long time, and curiosity was killing you. I wanted to know what his life had been like, to understand what kind of relationship we had.

"How's Manchester United treating you?" You asked, breaking the silence.

Mason glanced at you, his expression a mix of surprise and curiosity. He'd clearly been lost in his own thoughts, and your question seemed to jolt him back to reality.

"Oh, yeah, it's been amazing." He replied, a genuine smile spreading across his face. "They've welcomed me with open arms. It feels like a family." His eyes held a warmth that was unfamiliar yet comforting. "It was a big change, but everything fell into place. I'm very happy."

You nodded, your heart pounding. It was now or never. "And… I went with you?"

He placed his hand on his leg, resisting the urge to place it on yours, a habit of his. "Yeah." He said, his voice low. "You asked for a transfer and moved with me. Didn't even hesitate."

"So the house where I've been living is ours?" You asked. Mason nodded, his expression serious. "And where have you been living?" A wave of questions formed in your mind, each one more pressing than the last.

"I rented a place." Mason replied. "Luke and Anouska have two houses for rent, and one was empty."

"Oh." You murmured, still processing the information. "Sorry about that."

"Don't apologize." he said quickly. "I chose not to tell you the truth, so it's my fault." A comfortable silence settled between you as Mason seemed to be waiting for you to continue. "We have a long drive ahead. Ask me whatever you want."

"Good, because I have a lot of questions." You admitted.

He chuckled. "Bring it on."

"How long have we been together?"

"Five years."

"Who made the first move?"

"You did!" His answer was quick.

You raised an eyebrow. "Don't lie to me, Mount! I remember the first kiss. The prank. I confronted you about it."

Mason burst out laughing, his laughter infectious. "Oh, shit, yeah!" He admitted between chuckles. "I forgot about that."

This felt right, natural. "Okay, so… how did you know you didn't hate me anymore?"

"I never hated you--" He began.

"You know what I mean."

Mason hesitated, his eyes darting away from you. "I think… I think I always had a crush on you." He finally managed to say. Your heart pounded in your chest as you tried to process his words. "When we first met, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. But you were with that guy, and… I didn't know how to approach you, so I acted like a jerk." You swallowed hard, trying to comprehend the man sitting beside you. "The prank… when they made me kiss you, something clicked. It wasn't just a crush anymore." You hadn't realised, but he had pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car. His hand found yours, and his gentle touch sent shivers down your spine. "After that, I knew I had to make you fall for me. I couldn't let you slip away. I couldn't waste any more time when I had the love of my life right in front of me."

His eyes held a vulnerability you'd never seen before. Your heart was pounding so hard you thought it might burst. His gaze locked onto yours. Slowly, he leaned in, his breath warm against your lips.

For a moment, the world seemed to stand still. Then, his lips met yours in a soft, tender kiss. As your lips moved together, a wave of emotions washed over you. Love, hope, and a sense of coming home all at once.

[disaster-writer]

Poison (Part 4/4)

Pairing: Alpha!Bokuto Koutarou x Beta!Reader

Summary: You loved love, but it wasn’t made for you… but maybe a certain Alpha could change your mind

Word Count: 6k

A/N: This is the final part but there will be an epilogue. Thank you for all the support on this fic

AU: Omegaverse

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Bokuto blinked.

When did he get to his apartment?

And when did it start raining? He could have sworn the weather report said clear skies all day.

He reached for his duffle bag that hung from his shoulder, the weight of the rejected dangos and gift feeling heavier than they did this morning, and unzipped the small pocket at the front before fishing for his key.

He shoved the key in the lock, shut the door behind him and slid off his shoes, leaving them at the door.

His movements were rigid and automatic as he flicked the lights on and dropped his duffle bag onto the ground, leaving it behind him on the path he was on. He’ll put it in its proper spot later. 

He walked into the living room and plopped himself on his couch, the cushions dipping under his weight. The rain water that dampened his clothes soaked into the couch, drops of water dripping from his flattened hair. 

And… he just sat there, lost.

He stared at the palms of his hands. He had no idea what to do with himself.

For the last nine month his routine was to go to his family home and cook (or bake) for you with his sisters, and imagining what kind of reaction you’d give him on the way home when he gave it to you the following day.

Bokuto didn’t quite realize until now how much you really occupied his mind, because for the first time since he realized he’s had feelings for you, thinking about you felt wrong.

It felt like you’d hate him if you ever found out how much you were on his mind.

He pulled his phone out, reading the texts he knew he got on the train ride.

Tsum Tsum: Where are you??? We’ve been waiting by the train station for a damn half hour, how long does it take to hand over a couple gifts??

Star-pupil: ‘Is everything okay? Did she accept the stuff?’

Onee-chan : ‘Are you still coming over? Onee-chan and I started baking already’

He responded to all of them with the same simple words.

‘She said no.’

By the third time he typed out the message, his eyes had filled with tears.

With a sniffle, he turned off his phone for the night.

He doesn’t remember ever feeling this empty before.

He wanted to go to bed and sleep, even if it was only 5 o’clock, he wanted to sleep and not wake up for the next ten years in the hopes that his heart wouldn’t hurt so much anymore.

So he went to bed.

But he did anything but sleep.

Instead he had found himself wrapped up in a burrito of blankets, watching the movies that he recently bought.

They were all romantic comedies. 

All of your favorite movies from the list your sister gave him.

By the end of the first movie Bokuto couldn’t control his tears, the cheesy script about an Alpha and Beta falling in love, but the Beta not believing the Alpha was truly in love with her and that it’d never work, then seeing the Alpha fight for her love.

It hit too close to home. But he couldn’t stop watching.

He put in a second movie and then a third, somewhere along the way he had managed to dig up a sweater he took from you with the full intention of giving it back once it was drenched in his scent. He soaked the fabric with his tears, keeping his nose buried against it throughout the night.

He vaguely acknowledged the fact that he should be sleeping when he started the fifth movie.

But he wouldn’t until half way through the sixth and his body just couldn’t handle the physical and emotional exhaustion anymore.

Before falling asleep he couldn’t help believe that Ushiwaka was to blame for all of this.

When he had woken up in the morning it wasn’t to his alarm but a very irate Atsumu that had let himself into his home and bedroom.

”Get up,” Atsumu hissed, already dressed in his uniform, dropping Bokuto’s duffle bag on top of him, effectively waking him up.

It was sad really. All the tissues scattered around, some depressing movie playing in the background, while Bokuto was curled up like a baby with its blanket, but instead it was a sweater he had seen you wear more than once.

Nine months without an ounce of reciprocation hadn’t even managed to extract a hint of this kind of depression.

Bokuto grunted, rubbing his swollen eyes.

”What time—?”

”Almost ten, so get yer ass outta bed or we’re gonna be late.”

Bokuto shot out of bed, “TEN—“ 

Why didn’t his alarm go off— fuck, he forgot he turned his phone off.

Bokuto ran from room to room, toothbrush hanging from his mouth as he rifled through his drawers for clothes.

Atsumu’s eye twitched as he glanced at the time, “So, uh— Ya didn’t answer any of our texts last night,” he said, crossing his arms as he watched Bokuto running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

He pulled the toothbrush from his mouth, “I turned my phone off,” was all he replied with, putting the toothbrush back in to pull on his uniform shorts before running back into the bathroom.

”Ya gonna tell what happened or keep me in the dark?” He called out.

Bokuto spit the toothpaste from his mouth, coming out of the bathroom with his jersey on now. Atsumu standing up and passing his bag to his friend.

”There’s nothing to tell,” he replied sadly, walking out of the room with Atsumu in tow. “She thinks we’re incompatible because she’s a Beta and I’m an Alpha.” He rifled through his fridge, pulling out a bento he had meal prepped earlier in the week before shoving it into his bag.

”So what? Yer just gonna stop courtin’ her now because she thinks it wouldn’t work out between ya?” The idea sounded preposterous, this was the same man that relentlessly courted you for nine months straight when any other alpha would have called it quits after one week.

”She begged me to stop,” he replied bitterly, grabbing his phone from the living room as the two finally made their way out of his apartment, “Whatever Ushiwaka said when he rejected her made her not want to be with a ‘strong Alpha’… whatever that means.”

”Well the percentage of successful Alpha/Beta relationships is pretty low.”

Bokuto threw a glare over his shoulder at his friend.

He put his hands up in defense, “I’m just sayin’.”

”I know,” he snapped, “I’ve done some research. I just thought if she saw how much I liked her all of that wouldn’t matter. But it does… apparently Ushiwaka’s words mean more to her than my actions.” 

Atsumu narrowed his eyes, studying the back of Bokuto’s head. Something about how he said ‘Ushiwaka’ didn’t sit right with him.

Especially knowing they would be playing him in the match today.

”Yer not gonna let this fuck with ya today right? Not gonna fuck up our chance getting to the championship?”

Bokuto stopped in his tracks, Atsumu almost walking right into him. “You know ‘m not in high school anymore. I can control myself on the court Tsum Tsum.”

His scent was bitter.

Atsumu tensed his jaw. Bokuto was not alright.

”Fine.” He spat, “But I’m telling coach and Meian to keep an eye on you—“

Bokuto turned, gripping Atsumu’s arm, “So coach can pull me out the second he thinks I’m getting too emotional?” He spat, more malice than he had heard in his voice in a long time. “I’ll be fine— if you get me pulled out before I can beat the Adler’s today I’ll never forgive you.” He dropped his arm, practically throwing it before turning back around and continuing towards the train station.

Atsumu tsked. He certainly did not miss Bokuto saying ‘I’ instead of ‘we’.

Bokuto didn’t say much more than that as they climbed onto the train, hanging onto the hand rails as they went towards the gym.

They’d be late for their call time but they knew you always scheduled the bus to arrive a half hour after the players arrival.

You always played it safe like that, scheduling time to account for fuck ups.

The thought of you with your nose in your agenda, scheduling things like you always did caused a pang in his heart.

He used to imagine coming up behind you while you scribbled away, pulling you into his arms while you worked.

All those little fantasies he came up with were quickly crumbling before his eyes.

He sighed sadly, pulling his phone out and turning it on for the day.

As his phone loaded, notifications started flooding in. All texts from his teammates… it looked like pretty much everyone knew which he wasn’t surprised, of course telling Atsumu and Hinata would make the news spread like wildfire. He also had texts from his sisters and even his parents, which also didn’t surprise him all that much. The texts that did surprise him were Kuroo’s, Akaashi’s, and even Kenma’s.

Everyone knew.

He scrolled through the texts for a bit but they only proved to make him more irritated, especially after his conversation with Atsumu. 

Most of the messages were calling you an idiot or stupid, that he could do better, that he should pursue Omegas again and how you weren’t worth it.

He shoved his phone angrily into his bag.

No one got it. No one ever understood why he liked you. He knew his teammates thought it was a waste of time and energy but they weren’t there. They weren’t in that locker room when you walked in shyly and all flustered when you admitted you left your clothes at home and offered yourself for him to scent instead.

They weren’t the ones that held you in their arms that day and felt the anger wash away from them as an entirely new comforting feeling took place. You smelled like home. It was different from the sweet, enticing scent of an Omega’s. Yours was warm and inviting— it was everything he needed in that moment. He could remember so clearly how stiff you were at first but how you eventually melted into his arms, like you had never been held before.

Whenever someone found out he was courting a Beta they always seemed to ask how could he feel like a good, useful Alpha if he would be mated to a Beta, who were typically known for being independent. 

But they didn’t know you wanted to be held.

He had to be the one to tell you he should go back to the match, you had been falling asleep in his arms as he ran his nose along your neck and breathed you in, clinging to his arms that were wound around your waist.

You didn’t want to leave either.

Seeing you turn back into your normal, professional self hadn’t been easy after that, but it was all the more reason to start courting you.

He wanted to feel you melt in his arms again while he scented you.

”Ya alright man?” Atsumu asked carefully, peering at Bokuto’s face. His eyes were red.

He sniffled, “‘M fine… Sorry about before,” he added as an afterthought.

”It’s fine. I get it,” He replied as the train came to a stop.

The two Alphas got off the train and made their way to the gym. It was 10:20.

They were late.

”Man— we’re so fuckin’ late. Now she’s gonna nag us the entire ride there,” Atsumu groaned.

Him, Atsumu, and Hinata tended to be on the receiving end of your scoldings as the three were always either late or not where they were supposed to be.

It was the reason you started scheduling everyone to arrive a half hour early before games, after having to hold the bus up for the three when you had first started working with them.

Bokuto wasn’t sure what he expected or wanted. You’d probably go back to being the same old professional you with that unreadable facade of yours. You’d probably yell at him and Atsumu for being late, not bothering to acknowledge what happened yesterday.

Or maybe you’d be kinder, give a gentle reminder to come in on time before discussing today’s details with the coach.

What happened was much worse.

Both he and Atsumu stepped into the gym and you…

You didn’t even look at him.

It caught Atsumu off guard as well. Realizing you weren’t marching over to them to reprimand their lateness he slid his eyes over to his friend.

He was just staring at you.

”C’mon,” Atsumu grunted, grabbing his arm and dragging him over to the other players that were standing around.

Bokuto felt stuck in a daze, eyes continuing to follow you as Atsumu dragged him around.

You were dressed in your business casual like you always were on game days as you’d be on camera and also talking to representatives of the teams’ sponsors that were in attendance. Your hair was in one of your little tight buns that often made him wonder what you’d look like with your pretty hair down and framing your face.

You were talking to the coach and one of the athletic trainers.

You still didn’t look at him.

Ami also stood next to you, raising a hand towards him in a small wave. She wore a sad frown.

He waved back still caught in a daze.

”Did you get any sleep last night?” Hinata asked, pulling Bokuto back into the present.

He was eyeing Bokuto up and down, taking in his sorry state. 

“Some,” he responded with, finally managing to look away from you.

”This is a joke right?” Sakusa looked over to Atsumu, clearly irritated. “She did this the day before an Adler’s game?”

”Don’t get me started on that,” Atsumu grumbled, “I think that’s the most unbelievable part in all this.”

Tomas clapped Bokuto on the back, “Chin up man. This kind of stuff happens all the time, what’s important is focusing on today’s game.”

Inunaki nodded, “Yeah, plenty of fish in the sea and all that y’know.”

”But I like her,” Bokuto said, furrow in his brow as he stared at his feet.

”Maybe you can ask out her sister?” Joffe suggested, “You two seem to get along.”

”I already called dibs!” Atsumu cut in.

Sakusa rolled his eyes, “She’s clearly not interested in idiots.”

Bokuto was surrounded by his team, by his friends, but he had never felt so isolated.

As they bickered over Ami, Bokuto dragged his eyes back towards you, looking over his shoulder.

Your back was to him now as you talked to your sister.

It looked like you two were arguing.

”C’mon Bokuto, that’s enough,” Barnes gripped his shoulder, “I know it hurts now but now that it’s out in the open you can finally move on.”

Move on.

He supposed that’s what was expected of him now.

But he didn’t want to move on.

”Right,” he said. The word felt empty.

The ride to the stadium was all too fast and all too slow. 

He sat where he usually did in the back with Hinata, Atsumu, and Sakusa, while you sat at the front with your sister.

Every once in a while you would turn, giving him a view of your pretty profile that he had grown so used to seeing.

He didn’t understand why whatever Ushiwaka told you changed how you viewed dating Alphas so much.

What could he have said that broken you so much that you haven’t tried dating again for four whole years.

And why were you still listening to him.

Bokuto was a better Alpha than Ushiwaka, he was kinder and respected everyone not bothering to pay so much attention to the hierarchy that was the second gender. Traditional Alphas such as Ushijima had that hierarchy so ingrained in them that they only respected those they deemed worthy of it.

Was Bokuto not even good enough for you to reconsider something one Alpha told you once.

What made Ushijima Wakatoshi better than him. 

Were you just subconsciously following the stronger Alpha?

Ami suddenly turned in her seat, glancing at him before whispering something in your ear.

Atsumu grabbed Bokuto by the shoulder and shook him from his thoughts. “Ya gotta calm down. Yer scent is startin’ to stink up the bus and it’s scarin’ the Omega,” he nodded in Ami’s direction as she glanced back again.

Bokuto groaned, dipping his head and burying his face in his hands.

”I know we already talked about it, but yer sure ya’ll be fine?”

”It’ll be different when I’m on court,” is all he responded with.

It will be different.

It’ll be completely different when he’s standing across from Ushijima.

By the time they arrived and the bus parked, you were already running off with Ami. Probably to find her seat or start networking like you usually did at these games.

They had two hours before the game would start. They’d spend an hour getting situated and another hour warming up and doing all the pep talks. You would probably come back a half hour before the start time.

Bokuto did all the things expected of him. He did his best to focus on the conversations between his friends. Hinata was excited to see Kageyama again, the two making plans to eat out and inviting anyone else that wants to come.

He listened to his teammates attempts at trying to make him feel better. Once again calling you stupid and an idiot for not wanting to go out with him. These guys were supposed to respect you as a colleague and here they were insulting you for his sake.

He couldn’t understand why they thought that would make him feel better.

But after settling in for a bit and ignoring the consolations he started to feel a bit better. He knew he had to get into game mode and if his past has taught him anything it was that letting your emotions run rampant on court often lead to many fuck ups.

But he had matured since high school. He learned how to regulate his emotions and keep his instincts in check since then.

He was an adult now. He played volleyball professionally. He can separate his personal life from his professional life.

The game was about to start. Warm ups had gone smoothly and everyone, including Bokuto, was focused.

They were all going to be called onto the court soon.

The energy was ramping up as Meian concluded his speech in the locker room, all the players cheering for the win they knew they would be getting today.

”(Y/N) should be in any minute now to call us out, so get any last minute bathroom breaks or anything else out of the way now.” Meian announced.

”I’m gonna fill my bottle in the hallway,” Bokuto said, standing up.

”Yer already done with that?” Atsumu laughed, smacking his back, “Ya gonna piss all over the court?”

Bokuto laughed. It was strained, but he still managed a laugh.

He ran out into the hallway with his bottle and towards the water fountain, beginning to fill it up.

Screwing the top back on and aiming to head back inside, he looked up.

He stopped, head tilting.

It was you and Ushiwaka standing at the end of the hallway, talking.

Smiling.

You hadn’t even looked at him today but you were smiling at Ushijima.

He took a step towards the two of you then stopped.

He clenched his fist tight, his chest feeling tight and constricted before deciding to go back to the locker room.

He couldn’t help but feel that maybe he really just wasn’t good enough for you.

You walked in two minutes later, standing in the doorway.

”Alright guys, time to get out there!” You exclaimed. The others all cheered as they ran out while you shouted encouragements as usual.

Time seemed to slow down as he passed by you.

”Good luck, Bokuto-san,” you said, quieter than your other encouragements to everyone else.

Bokuto-san 

He was no longer Koutarou to you. He was Koutarou for all of ten minutes of your life and now he would forever be Bokuto-san.

He didn’t reply.

He couldn’t as his eyes searched and landed on only one person throughout the stadium. He wouldn’t look away, not even when he stood across from him on the court.

Bokuto had completely locked onto Ushiwaka.

“Bokkun,” Atsumu called out as a warning as he stood beside him.

”I’m fine.” He snapped.

”Ya better be,” he grumbled under his breath.

Bokuto had always been emotional. Everyone always chalked it up to his instincts, and maybe they were right. But he rarely got angry like most Alphas did. He was more likely to find himself sad and depressed.

But right now as he stared down Ushiwaka, an anger that was buried down so deep was being dug up.

An anger he didn’t even know that lived inside him.

It was raw and dangerous and—

Feral.

* * * *

25 - 25

The first set was officially going into overtime.

Coach Samson shook his head, “The Adler’s got ‘em,” he grumbled under his breath, “We’re gonna have to bench Bokuto.”

You swallowed uneasily, heart pounding in your chest.

”I think you’re right,” you breathed out.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen such reckless plays be made by Bokuto your entire time with MSBY.

He just seemed so angry.

”I don’t understand what happened,” Samson said, leaning forward as he watched the game with scrutinizing eyes, “He was playing better than ever in yesterday’s practice.”

You tensed your jaw.

You fucked up.

Your phone buzzed. 

Ami: ‘I told you you should’ve told him this morning that you changed your mind’

You were going to be sick.

You really fucked up.

You texted back furiously. 

‘I can fucking see that now. I thought it could wait until after, I didn’t think he was gonna be like this’

Ami: ‘I told you this is what Alphas do. Can you call a time out or something? Tell him you’ll go on a date with him and send them back out there’

You scoffed at your phone.

”Shit,” Samson hissed. The ref blew the whistle.

Your head snapped up at break neck speed.

27-25 Adlers 

Your phone buzzed again.

Ami: ‘TELL HIM NOW!!!!’

There was a knot in your throat as you watched the team return to the bench with their heads down and fists clenched.

There was clearly a lot of animosity brewing between the players. Bokuto had been recklessly locked onto Ushijima and aiming his hits at him, causing them to miss multiple points.

They probably could have won if it wasn’t for that.

Atsumu had lost his cool long ago right at the start when he realized what was going on, snapping and shouting at Bokuto the longer the set went on. Meian was stuck having to mediate between the two and Sakusa, Hinata, and Inunaki were growing more and more irate.

They were barely recognizable as a team in their emotional states.

Ami was right. You wanted to talk to him after the game and in private to let him know you had thought longer about going out with him. You wanted to tell him that you were wrong, you were stupid and an idiot for allowing an Alpha like Ushijima to disillusion you for so long and keep you from the things you truly wanted. 

You wanted it to be a bit more romantic when you were planning out what you were going to say in your head and you knew both you and him needed to focus today but clearly you’ve already put this conversation off for too long.

You stood up alongside Samson as the team reached the bench.

“Bokuto!” Samson snapped, standing up and meeting the group with you following not far behind. “What’s gotten into you!?”

”I’m fine,” he kept his head down.

”No, you’re not fine. I know you have better game sense than that! You practically handed over the winning point!”

”Bench him!” Atsumu spat, “He’s gonna cost us the championship!”

”You’re not helping Miya,” Samson snapped back. “You need to calm down too, you could have set to Hinata back there. You’re letting Bokuto’s mood influence you.” He turned back to Bokuto, “I’m pulling you out of the next set until you cool down—“

Bokuto’s head snapped up, ”I said I’m fine! I have to keep playing, I’m gonna win this!”

”Not like that you aren’t! You’re gonna sit and (Y/N)’s gonna give you something to scent until you cool down, understood?”

”But I—!”

”Understood?” He cut him off with a hiss.

Bokuto’s jaw tensed, locking as he gave a curt nod. 

You cleared your throat, “Bokuto-san, I would like to speak with you privately—“

”Oh please,” Atsumu sneered, turning to you. “Plannin’ on makin’ this worse? Yer the whole reason why we’re in this mess in the first place,” he took a step towards you, puffing his chest out, “Would it have really been that hard to break his heart after the match?”

You took a step back, eyes widened, ”Hey, I—“

”Get away from her,” Bokuto suddenly stepped in front of you, pushing Atsumu back by his shoulders, “She did nothing wrong!”

Atsumu pushed him back, getting in his face, “Did nothing wrong!?” He spat back, “She rejected ya of all people before an Adler’s game! How fuckin’ brain dead is she—“

Atsumu’s head flew to the side, face suddenly radiating with a burning, bruising pain.

His top lip was wet. 

Bokuto fucking punched him.

Your jaw hung open as you watched the complete chaos that ensued. Meian was holding Bokuto back from trying to attack Atsumu, Sakusa was suddenly holding Atsumu back as he looked as if he was about to attack back.

You stared at Bokuto, his face red, a snarl screwing up his features as the tendons in his neck bulged as he tried to get Atsumu.

It was scary.

You don’t think you’ve ever thought Bokuto was scary before— 

”Coach,” Meian suddenly barked, “I think he might be going feral!”

”Get him to the locker room!” He called back.

There were referees suddenly approaching you.

It felt like your ears were filled with cotton as you barely caught anything they were telling you as you watched Meian and some of the other players haul Bokuto away as he continued to struggle in their hold.

”(Y/N)!” You were suddenly jolted from the daze you were in. “Calm him down, give him the clothes off your back if you have to.”

”Right!” 

You went into action and ran after them, ignoring the ref’s.

You left the duffle bag of clothing you always brought under the bench.

You were barely thinking as you started unbuttoning the blouse you were wearing and ripping it off, leaving you in your tank top.

The second you were close enough and that locker room door was being opened, you threw your blouse in just after Bokuto was being shoved through and locked inside.

”What was that?” Meian asked you, panting as he made sure the door was shut tight.

Bokuto was throwing his body against the door from the other side, making it shake in it’s frame.

”My shirt. My scent should be stronger on it since I’ve been wearing it all day. Get back to the court, I’ll take care of him from here.”

“You sure, it sounds like he getting pretty violent in there.”

You nodded, “I’m a Beta, my whole selling point is being able to calm down Alphas.”

”Alright, I’ll leave him to you then.” He said with a nod before running back to the court.

Your attention was brought back to the locker room and the loud, harsh bangs and thuds that emitted from the room.

“What a mess,” you groaned, leaning against the wall beside the door.

Atsumu was right, this was all your fault.

Yesterday, in the moment it felt crueler to let his crush on you drag on any longer. And it didn’t feel right to tell him you had gone and changed your mind after the fucking waterworks you pulled knowing he had a game to focus on.

You just didn’t want to be a distraction— you didn’t realize how that would come back to bite you in the ass.

And now you just felt like a bitch.

You slid to the ground, sitting on the floor, waiting for Bokuto to quiet down. You’d eventually go in there to assess the situation for yourself, you’d let him scent you if he was still too far gone in his emotional state, and you’d tell him you changed your mind hoping he didn’t hate you too much because of it.

You watched the next set start from where you sat. It seemed they managed to clean up Atsumu and get him back in the game.

You hadn’t even thought about the entire team being pissed at you for turning Bokuto down before an Adler’s game… Atsumu had never yelled at you before.

It seemed the reputation you built was crumbling before your eyes.

1-0 Adlers 

2-4 Adlers

6-5 Adlers

7-6 MSBY

7-7

8-7 MSBY

Bokuto was quiet.

It took you a few minutes with all the excitement of your team turning the set in their favor for you to realize Bokuto was quiet.

You slid over to the door and pressed your ear against it.

Nothing.

Your breath hitched, heart steadily beginning to beat faster in your chest.

You stood up and with shaky hands you unlocked the door, quietly slipping in.

The room was almost eerily quiet as there was no sign of him.

The locker room was turned inside out. Lockers were dented in, the players belongings were scattered all over the place, some of which being torn to shreds.

He had even managed to get one end of the bolted down bench up.

The bloody tracks on the lockers didn’t go unnoticed by you either.

”Bokuto-san?” You called out gently, venturing in deeper into the locker room.

There was no reply, but it didn’t take you very long to find him after that.

In the far corner of the locker room, Bokuto had managed to wedge himself into a corner between two sets of lockers.

He was missing his jersey, covered in a layer of sweat, chest rising and falling in ragged breaths with his nose buried in the collar of your blouse like a life line. His eyes were red and swollen as if he had been crying. 

Your blouse was covered in blood stains from the open wounds on his knuckles.

And those sad, puppy eyes from yesterday found you once more.

Your shoulders slumped at the sorry sight, heart clenching painfully for him.

You walked over to him, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot.

You didn’t know what to say, “… Would you like to scent me?” You offered, doubtful he’d take you up on the offer after yesterday.

He stared at you for a long while with those sad eyes before nodding.

You shuffled over, kneeling before him— he had pulled you into his arms, turning you around to sit between his legs as he buried his nose into your neck. 

And you sat like that for a few minutes, letting him calm down as he held you and breathed in your scent.

It didn’t bother you that he was covering you in his sweat or what felt suspiciously like tears wetting your neck. He had clearly had a very rough and emotional twenty four hours and you wanted to be there for him.

The feeling of being held in his arms with his face against your neck was familiar. You had chosen to block out the memory, chalking it up as you helping another co-worker but you couldn’t deny that it felt nice to be held.

You melted against him.

”I… may have changed my mind,” you forced out. His body stiffened around you, tensing at your words but he didn’t reply. You never wished more to have the same sense of smell as an Alpha or Omega just so you could know how he was feeling.

But you didn’t, so you had to do this the only way you knew how.

”After yesterday I went home and told Ami everything that happened and… well, she got really mad at me and we ended up talking for a very, very long time,” you sighed, “You see I… I never told anyone what Ushiwaka told me the day he rejected me and since that’s why I rejected you yesterday, Ami forced me to tell her what he had said all those years ago… and after telling her, I felt like you deserved to know too.”

You sucked in a breath, bracing yourself, “He told me relationships between Alphas and Betas weren’t real. There would always be a better, more suitable mate for them out there and once they found that then the Beta would be replaced. He went into detail after that as to why it wouldn’t work out, which was all the typical stuff you hear about scents and ruts… I’ve done years and years of research into relationships between both Alphas and Betas and Betas and Omegas before, I knew all the arguments as to why they don’t work but I never thought of myself as being replaceable…” your voice wavered, “I’ve dreamed about meeting the right person and falling in love since I was little and I just… I don’t want to be a placeholder until someone better comes along,” you sniffled, a couple tears slipping from your eyes.

”I would never do that to you,” Bokuto murmured against your neck, voice raw and raspy.

You found your hand squeezing one of the arms wrapped around you.

”After I told Ami that, she reminded me of something that I’ve always known but I guess I managed to forget,” you continued, wiping at your face with your free hand. “My great grandmother was a Beta— that’s where the gene comes from. And my great grandfather… he was an Alpha… I grew up listening to stories about them, I was always more interested in their relationship than my siblings were. My great grandma died when she was 59 and he died at 96. He never remarried. My grandma said her father loved her mother too much to ever think about another woman.” You cried, “And then I just kept remembering all these super crazy romantic stories about them and they had their own issues come up but they never stopped loving each other and I realized last night… There’s no reason why I shouldn’t at least try dating an Alpha if they were able to do it. So… if you’re not too upset with me for putting you through such an emotional rollercoaster, I would like to ask you out on a date Bokuto-san.” 

The feeling of asking someone out and wearing your heart on your sleeve felt so familiar, you were already prepared for a rejection.

”Koutarou,” he softly corrected.

“Kota,” you shortened, biting back a watery grin, “Would you like to go out with me on Valentine’s Day to see a movie and eat cake for dinner?”

”Yes,” he breathed out, “More than anything else.”

”Okay,” you nodded, “Then it’s a date. I’m sorry for being stubborn and acting like an idiot.”

He hugged you close to his chest, “You’re not an idiot.”

You swore you could feel him smile against your neck.

The two of you stayed like that for a while, sitting in his arms as he nosed at your neck, prodding at your scent gland and reaching a more emotionally stable state for him. It was the end of the third set before you managed to get him up and help him finish pulling himself together before sending him out on court with kiss to his cheek and an exchange of hopeful smiles.

You loved love.

And as you watched Bokuto score the winning point before turning to you with his finger pointed in your direction, you were beginning to think it was meant for you after all.

————————————————————————

Epilogue

Taglist (open): @staygoldsquatchling02 @tillyt04 @niiiya @silverhairsimp @/rosellerinfrost @/leonphi @/lunamochii

[ladykailitha]

Not All That Glitters is Gold Part 4

Hello and welcome to the latest omega escort Steve! We get Nancy and Robin time and Steve goes through a bit of the dark side of his job.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

****

When Steve got into the limo that would take him and Nancy to the charity gala, she eyed him hungrily.

“You look nice tonight,” she said tightly. She chewed her bottom lip. “That’s a really good color on you.”

He smirked. “You did say that you were wearing gold tonight and jeweled tones always go well with metallic colors.”

Nancy nodded.

Steve turned away to look out the window, hiding a smile behind his fist.

The drive up to the gala was painfully awkward, but mainly because it seemed the usually sharp tongued Nancy Wheeler was at a loss for words.

Living well, really was the best revenge.

Nancy stepped out first and then she leaned into help Steve out of the car. He barely managed not to roll his eyes as he oozed out of the limo onto the red carpet.

He pulled his sunglasses out of his jacket pocket and put them on to shield against the flashing bulbs of the camera as they took picture after picture of Nancy and him arm and arm.

She waved to the crowd as he stood there looking pretty. Steve heard question after question about taking an escort instead of her husband. She just merely smiled and waved.

They got to the top of the stairs that led down to the ballroom without either of them saying a single word. To the reporters or each other.

“Steve...” Nancy said warningly. “Just remember what you’re here for.”

Steve looked over at her and smiled disarmingly. “To make you look good. I know. I am consummate professional, darling.”

She eyed up his outfit again. “Well that outfit reads professional slut.”

Steve kissed her cheek. “That’s because I am one and before you get uppity with me, princess, you’re the one that hired me.”

Nancy scowled.

He eyed her sidelong. “You know, for all your feminist brouhaha, you sure are anti-sex worker until you want to look good.”

Her jaw dropped. “I beg your pardon!”

“And if you keep going on like this,” Steve said menacingly. “I will put you on the black list and you’ll have actually drag poor Jonathan with you to these.”

Nancy went almost purple with rage, but before she could open her mouth, Steve whispered, “You may have bought me for the night, Nance, but I hold all the cards.”

Her color drained from her face and she nodded mutely. He patted her on the cheek and took a step down to the next step, forcing her to follow him or look awkward.

The rest of the night passed smoothly. Billy Hargrove, on the arm of some simpering female omega, avoided them like the plague. Which worked out for Steve, thank you very much.

Nancy had gone to the bathroom and Billy’s arm candy must have done the same because she was nowhere in sight.

Steve was by the buffet table trying not to gag about how long the food had been left out under this sweltering heat. But Nancy had told him to wait there, so waiting he was.

Billy was talking to Carol Perkins, his talk show host partner.

“I don’t know how you can stand it, Billy,” Carol was saying. “These escorts always smell too sweet to me. Like rotting fruit or some shit.”

Billy shrugged. “I happen to like it. Plus I like the fact that I can fuck them to oblivion and not get stuck with a bond or a pup for eighteen years.”

“You don’t want to settle down?” she asked and took a sip from her crystal wine glass.

Billy laughed. “Fuck no. I want to fuck around for as long as possible, no little housewife for this alpha.”

Carol hummed, but Steve could tell it was disapproving. As if she wasn’t the one that thrown Tommy off the second she found out he was infertile. It was why Tommy liked to hang off Billy’s arm. To throw it in his ex’s face that at least someone wanted him, even if it was just for sex.

Suddenly Nancy was pulling on Steve’s arm. “We’ve got to go. I’ve already talked to Vic and said our goodbyes.”

Steve bristled at that. He liked to personally say goodbye to the host. It was part of his charm.

“What’s the rush?” he hissed as she tugged on his arm and started pushing him toward the door.

“Jonathan texted me while I was in the bathroom,” she murmured, keeping her head down and her voice low.

“Is he all right?” he asked. Because holy shit, Jonathan never, Steve means never texts while Nancy is at an event with Steve. Steve is pretty sure he hates it as much as Steve does.

She pulled out her phone and showed it to him. “He just sent me this picture.”

Steve squinted at the ugly plastic rod before he realized what it was and what the double red line meant.

“He’s–” she put her hand over his mouth.

“Not here,” she hissed. “This place is filled with reporters. I want to be the one that announces it and not just read it in the morning edition.”

Steve nodded and followed her out, clutching his stomach as he complained about it hurting.

When they got out to the limo Nancy huffed.

“You didn’t have to do that,” she groused.

“That food looked disgusting,” Steve murmured. “I was doing the whole party a favor, doll.”

“Uh-huh,” she said crossing her arms, “and that totally had nothing to do with the fact you were throwing people off the scent on why we were leaving?”

Steve batted his eyelashes at her. “I don’t know what you mean, Nance.”

Nancy huffed again. “The hell you don’t.” She chewed on her lip for a moment. “Put me on your black list. Say I got you food poisoning and was a bitch and I’ll start bringing Jonathan to these things like a proper alpha should have been doing all along.”

Steve nodded. Even though it was only half true, it would be the right spin for both of them. Steve would never have to go out with her again, and Jonathan would get his alpha back.

“Deal.”

They shook on it and immediately as soon as he was out of the car, he called Robin.

“Bobbie,” he giggled, “you’ll never guess what happened tonight!”

*

Steve cackled with delight as he regaled Robin with the stories of his night, because of course she came over immediately after he called her.

“That is hilarious!” she agreed when he was done. “Jonathan must be over the moon.”

“I’m happy for them both,” Steve agreed. “That means no more awkward pseudo dates with a bitter ex.”

Robin slapped him lightly. “You’re more excited for that than that they’re having a pup.”

Steve shrugged. “Sorry, can’t be happy for something that’s never going to happen to me.”

She sighed. “Yeah, but aren’t you a little,” she held up her finger and her thumb really close together, “teeny tiny bit happy for them?”

He sighed back. “I don’t know, Robs. I guess I can be happy for him, but don’t make me pretend to be happy for her.”

Robin cocked her head to the side. “Yeah, that’s fair. Being happy for your ex is too much to ask for.”

He waved his hand at her. “Thank you! Jeez.”

“At least you’ll be plenty rested for the threesome tomorrow,” she added with a grin.

Steve threw the sofa pillow at her, causing her to laugh out loud so hard she fell to the floor with a thump.

Robin got back on the sofa still laughing hysterically.

“They’re nice enough, I guess,” Steve groused. “I’m not really looking for it to it, if I’m honest.”

She settled down to a fond smile. “What package did they ask for?”

“The housewife,” Steve said with an eye roll. “Which might be their only strike against them. but it is a rather large one. They could have had any play scenario and they chose the worst one.”

Robin smacked his shoulder. “Just because you prefer the Dom over the housewife doesn’t mean everyone does.”

“At least with the Dom,” Steve said, “I get to show up in that tight leather number and crack a whip. But with the housewife it’s all polos and khakis and fake smiles.”

Robin grimaced. “Like you care about the polos and khakis, you love that shit.”

Steve rolled his eyes.

“I love the clothes. I don’t love the attitude behind the clothes.”

“Ah.”

The attitude that a housewife is preppy and sweet. As opposed to a real housewife, frazzled in sweat clothes and grumpy as hell.

“It’s the most popular play option for a reason, Steve,” she said sternly.

Steve sighed dramatically. “I know it is. But I want something fun. International spies. Hookup at the bar. Strip club tease. Anything would be better than housewife.”

“But you love everything goes with the housewife play,” Robin pressed. “The cooking, the clothes; hell even the little apron so what’s got you so around the twist?”

Steve leapt to his feet and ran his hands through his hair. “Because I’ll never get to do it for real.”

Robin’s shoulders slumped. “Oh, Stevie.”

“Every time someone wants to buy my contract did you know it gets sent to me first?” he huffed.

Robin opened her mouth and the closed it. “Oh, well. Um...sort of?” she hedged. “I mean always assumed they were going somewhere else because there is no way you’ve only had two people offering to buy out your contract.”

“They only get sent to you if I think there is something to them,” Steve said, beginning to pace.

“Ah ha.”

“But the other five I’ve gotten have all been for concubine duties only,” he snarled. “Someone for the alpha to fuck when their omega is pregnant, nursing, or on vacation or some shit.”

Robin winced. “Those are barely even legal outside the US.”

“No one wants to buy an infertile omega to be their mate, Robs,” he said. “Nursemaid, concubine, slave. The glory of owning a Starcourt escort. The prestige. The privilege. Not because they love me or because they want to be with me.”

He sank to a crouch and buried his head in his hands. “All I wanted growing up was to be an escort, flying around the world, eating the best food, drinking the best alcohol, in the finest threads, but now that I have that, all I want is to be someone’s mate and housewife. How messed up is that?”

Robin approached him slowly and gently took his head her hands. “It’s called growing up, Stevie. It means your priorities shifted and that’s okay. You’re allowed to yearn for something you’ll never have. It’s part of the human condition.”

Steve launched himself at her and buried himself in her neck. Robin pulled him onto her lap and stroked his hair.

It would be a while before they got back to their show, but for now she just held her best friend as he wished for another life.

****

Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @lexirosewrites @goodolefashionedloverboi @messrs-weasley @maya-custodios-dionach @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @bookbinderbitch @littlewildflowerkitten @vecnuthy @scheodingers-muppet @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @genderless-spoon @yikes-a-bee @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @irregular-child @nburkhardt @apomaro-mellow @yellowdevilkitten @lingeringmirth @rememberthatiloveyou @demolvr @ellietheasexylibrarian @slowandsteddie @mangoinacan13 @r0binscript

[codename-mom]

Is Hotch...

A good husband?

A good father?

Let’s be honest, the answer is: no (for both).

Why?

CW: mention of domestic/child abuse, cheating, divorce, death, difficulties for child conception, pregnancy

Hotch is not a good husband

We don’t know much about the way Hotch and Haley have lived between the moment they have met (in high school) and the moment Jack was born (a short time after Hotch became the BAU’s director).

We know that they have met each other at a very young age and that they get married years later, in 1998 (?). If we take into account the hypothesis that Hotch was born in 1965, he was then 32/33 years old. So, they’ve known each other and probably lived together for 15 years before their wedding.

Which is curiously long, admit it.

However, it’s possible that they have waited for their situation to be more stable. Hotch have studied law in Virginia until 1992. We know that in 1997, he was a federal prosecutor at Seattle (so, at the other side of the country) and that after he has met Dave, he has moved to Quantico to become a profiler (so, new crossing of the country).

Haley has then followed Aaron from one side to the other of the US, leaving behind her family and friends (a thing that doesn’t bother Hotch because he doesn’t seem to have any friend and, officially, his only family is an errand young brother who can’t stand him). Which is, I think, a huge sacrifice for someone jobless and kids free (at this time), of which the only activity is basically to see people.

Then come the time where Hotch started to work for the BAU. At first, simple federal agent in a small team (Gideon, Rossi and him + maybe two other persons vaguely evocated once, but it’s hard to know how much time they have worked for the agency), he has to multiply travels so as the unit could cover all the territory. From this moment, he began to desert the marital home, but we can imagine that Haley agreed because they were understaffed.

Then Dave went retired, and Jason has surrendered; Aaron became an FBI unit chief at 38/39 years old. – The timeline is quite chaotic talking about this character, but we see in season 3 that Penelope has arrived 4 years earlier, when Derek and Spencer (and JJ?) are already there and all the team is already on the 6th floor of Quantico (and not anymore in the basement of another building, where Jason and Dave were). So, we can establish that Hotch must be around that age when he became a director (let’s remind that Gideon and Rossi discover the new premises when they come back, respectively in season 1 and 3).

Since then, taking into account his workforce (we know the usual team + Anderson, but there are also other agents in the bullpen who must be part of the BAU like the others) and his status, it’s not inconsistent to think that he doesn’t need to be in the field anymore. He can also follow office schedules, more adapted to a couple’s life.

But, no, he continues to leave with his subordinates even if his presence is not useful (his only expertise is to have been a federal prosecutor, which is of no use for the investigations), and he continues to come very early at work and to leave the office very late at night. He clearly forsakes Haley to his team profit.

And the things get worse when Haley becomes pregnant and has to stay in bed when she has still several months to wait before birth. We’ve got a woman who have to move as less as possible to increase the chance of survival of her fetus and who need help. Her husband should have been by her side to support her and to make her daily life easier, but in place of that he wanders for days far away from her. (We can assume that Jessica and her parents did the job, but it’s not a reason).

And here we go again after Jack’s birth. First of all, nothing prove that he was there for the birth. In a cut scene, we learn that he knew that Haley had contractions when he was in an investigation, and he offered to turn back home. Haley told him to go on working, that everything was fine. The eventuality he arrived too late is not nil then (but it’s still theoretical).

But we know that he wasn’t there to help her to take care of Jack when he was newborn. So, when kids are the most demanding in term of time and energy. He has continued to go on the field and to do two many hours when he didn’t have to. It’s clear that he had left Haley all alone with the baby (and a sick baby because we learn in the episode S02E04 that he has a condition bad enough for him to go to the hospital – detail that will disappear then from the writers’ memory…).

Haley had then to handle, upfront, her son, all the household chores and all the possible issues occurring into a house; after having follow Aaron from one coast to the other of the US several times. If we add on this that he never talked about what he was doing (‘cause it was confidential), we can understand that she was fed up with all this and that she asked for divorce.

We can however give some arguments in favor of Hotch:

His job is vital for the survival of the citizens: he doesn’t peel potatoes or is an accountant, he’s involved in the arrest of serial killers, sociopaths, and psychopaths able to go after anyone’s life. To take the decision not to go on the field anymore or not to answer his phone at night and during weekends is not simple.

He’s the only one to work in the couple: in the episode S05E01, Haley tells Aaron that she’s “working now”, which means that she wasn’t before, and that Aaron was the only one subsiding to the needs of their family. I don’t know how much a federal agent of his rank is paid, but if we take into account the fact that they lived into a house with a garden, in DC suburbs, with two cars (we didn’t see Haley’s but I doubt she went to the hospital, to the mall and to Quantico with a stroller using public transports); it was necessary for them to have a certain amount of money. To work less, without the possible risk premiums going on the field, would have pushed the couple to move again and to restrain their lifestyle.

In the episode S01E22, we learn that household chores don’t seem to bother him, on a contrary (he looks so thrilled to accomplish all the tasks Haley wants him to do). As so, we can assume that the days he was there, he took over his wife on this point.

And finally, from episode S02E19, we learn that this situation – him working a lot when his wife and son live their life by their side – weighs on him and stresses him. He’s afraid to receive phone calls when he’s at home and to have no choice but to leave. If we suppose that he loves his job, he doesn’t forsake Haley and Jack joyfully either. He doesn’t abandon them because he’s mean or because he doesn’t like them, he just thinks that he doesn’t have any choice.

[In the same episode, we learn that his father was a womanizer who didn’t try to be discreet, and in the episode S01E08, we can think that the said father wasn’t particularly nice too. And then, in the episode S03E02, when he understands that his wife cheats on him, he shows absolutely no aggressiveness. On the contrary. Hotch could have copied the attitude of his sire and been way more violent with Haley at that exact time. Somewhere, she was lucky that he has a strong self-control and that he’s more the passive guy…]

Actually, the only thing Haley did wrong was to haven’t ask for divorce earlier (before Jack’s birth for example), because the man she has married was clearly not the one she has met in high school anymore. She would have had a different life, maybe with several children, and would have still been alive. She stood by his side, perhaps because it was easier, but it wasn’t the right solution knowing that Aaron is obviously not made for married life.

And not for family life too…      

Hotch is not a good father

Like we’ve seen it above, the probability that Aaron have missed Jack’s birth is not nil. And, if the arrival of his son was of his interest, the logic would have been for him to adapt his schedule and to not go on the field anymore with his team near the due date.

Then, we know that he didn’t help his wife with the baby and in the episode S01E19, Jessica reproached him to not hold Jack properly, which leads us to think that he’s not used to have him in his arms.

Divorce happens and, even if he’s the only one to have a salary, the child custody is entirely entrusted to Haley, probably because of his numerous travels and his schedules not at all compatible with a life with a kid (that and the fact that he can get shot at any moment every time he leaves for a case). From this moment, we can suppose that his visits depend to his ex-wife’s will; ex-wife who is nice enough to let him break in in the middle of the night to see a sleeping child. It’s of no interest for Jack (he doesn’t know that his father is there). Once again, logic wants that he shows up on weekends and by daylight.

Which he doesn’t seem to do because, in the episode S04E13, we learn that he has offered a Christmas present for his son but doesn’t know if the latter had appreciated or not. Several explanations for that:

He has sent the present by mail and wasn’t there then for the receipt.

He hasn’t saw Jack since even if he had the time to (several weeks/months pass between episodes)

He didn’t make the effort to call Haley or to sent her a message to have the information.

Well, he doesn’t do what’s necessary to keep in touch with his son.

Then Foyet shows up and we all know what’s happened: Hotch becomes a single dad in a sudden. And nothing gets better… Indeed, if we see in the episode S06E16 that he seems to be there in the morning to take Jack to school, he continues to work very late at night and to go on the field for several days without having contacts with him (we saw him calling Haley at the beginning of the show, but we don’t see him doing the same with his son). All the work is done by Jessica, Jack’s aunt: pick up at school, homework, dinner, shower/bath, movie/fairy tale, tooth brushing + complete support during investigations.

Well, we understand that this is a suggestion of Jessica herself (Jack is the only "thing" left from her dead sister, we can get that she doesn’t want to lose her connection with her nephew), but Hotch doesn’t hesitate for long to pass it on and to get back to his old habits of workaholic, still not suitable for parenting. And he doesn’t seem to care about the fact that Jessica could wish to have her own family and that she must have a job and her own personal activities. He has the right to work – a kid is not free, so it’s normal that he keeps his job, especially when you know how much studies cost in US – but he could have adapted his schedules. But he didn’t.

You’re going to tell me: “Yes, but he’s there for Jack soccer encounters.” He’s there to train the team. He’s there to give orders and to handle a dozen of kiddos on Sunday morning. He’s still working, and his attention is not only directed on Jack, but on all the players. He’s just doing the cab between the apartment and the club, that’s all. Especially that we see in episode S10E20, he’s still working home (exactly like when he was married), which could mean that Jack is on his own when his father is there.

(Stop drooling, people! I know he's hot, but it's not the point. He has an office in his apartment (look behind his sexy hips).)

Well, we discover in the episode S07E04 that he’s regularly learning to Jack how to read the evening (to the point that Jack is well ahead of his comrades on that subject) and at the beginning of the episode S11E22, we understand that he and JJ often drive Jack and Henry to school in the morning. We also see him building a hut in the living-room in the episode S07E23, searching for a last minute Halloween costume in S10E05 and he's doing cookies with him in S06E06.

All this seem to prove that there are some interactions between them. But sadly, it doesn’t compensate the fact that he’s absent for the Halloween costume contest, that he skips the school trip to the museum and that he leaves his son to the hands of a woman he knows for a few months (Beth) in a city he and Jack barely know (New York). All these absences could have been avoided if he did just trust his men and let them handle the cases on their own. (I mean we talk about a guy who took a dangerous mission overseas when he has a son alone at home...)

And he knows it. He knows that he’s bad. He knows that his son agrees to his absences because he sees him as a hero. In the episode S11E22, tensions appear because Jack is not a little boy who idealize his father anymore and that he starts to understand that all this is not normal. That to privilege unknown people over his own child, it’s bad. And Hotch feels that the wind has changed as he speaks about it to JJ in the said episode. I think that if Thomas Gibson hadn’t been fired from the show, we would have seen conflicts between father and son because of his lack of involvement.

If I wanted to explain his behavior – without forgiving it – I’ll stress out that we start with a couple who knows each other for more than twenty years before the arrival of the baby. Which is abnormally long. (I know people who willingly had a kid when they only knew each other for a few months…)

The first explanation could be that they had some difficulties to conceive. One of them could have been sterile to a certain degree which makes difficult a natural conception. Or there is also the possibility of biological incompatibility between them (some vaginal biomes can be toxic for the spermatozoa of some individuals). Or certain external factors could have complicated the process. In any case, it could explain why the couple had only one child after so many years of marital life.

The second explanation – which is my personal headcanon – is that one of them didn’t want a kid (and by that, I mean he didn’t want one).

If we think about the fact that Hotch seems to have had a rotten childhood because of his disrespectful and violent father, and his resigned mother (she knew about the affairs of her husband, surely didn’t ignore his brutality, but she stayed with him and she even had another child with him 15 years later (yes, I know, beaten wives are under the influence of their torturer and to quit this vicious circle is extremely difficult; but from Aaron’s point of view, he was facing a woman who made the choice to stay no matter how the situation was dangerous for her and for him, in place of leaving and improving their chance of survival. Worse, she even has accepted to keep and give birth to another of his child…)), it’s not weird to imagine that he didn’t want to start his own family. He didn’t have any good example of what is a good father or a good mother. He doesn’t know what a warm home looks alike. [May I remember you that Hotch doesn’t celebrate his birthday (Haley and Jessica wished him once, but when we see how Penelope wishes it to him in the episode S09E06, we understand that she’s the only one to know); which could underline the fact that it wasn’t a happy day for him when he was a child.] In the end, he could have delayed this eventuality as long as possible.

How has Jack arrived tho? Several possibilities again:

Reassured by Haley and a little bit more comfortable with his abilities, he would have accepted his wife request.

Haley blackmailed him: “Give me that child or I leave”. To not lose her, he would have agreed no matter his fears.

Jack is not Aaron’s child.

I lean for the second option, which also explains the fact that he has some hard time to create a connection with his son. He didn’t really want him and he’s still thinking that he’ll be a bad father because of his past.

I could add that his autism doesn’t make the thing easier, but it’s another debate.

___

To make it short, Hotch is not made for marital life or family life no matter what.

Don't misunderstand me. I love the character but I can't forget that he has (huge) flaws. He's not the perfect man that we (fanfics writers) want him to be. He's neglectful on many points outside of his job. And that's why he's interesting in my opinion. A flawless character would have been so boring.

(Damn! This post took ages. None only because the gif search on Tumblr is all crap, but because I've got to rewatch countless episodes to find one line of dialogue so useful for this explanation. ^^; Hopefully, the next one will be less demanding.)

[sunnybyler]

is it controversial for me to say that i think i’d be disappointed if gwynriel was announced as the next book as someone who very much ships them? because like, don’t get me wrong. i’m sure i’ll eat their book up when it’s time. but i just…. feel like it’s not time yet. i feel like az still needs to grow a lot and gwyn was JUST introduced last book. i mean, quite frankly, the ship itself wasn’t even hinted at until the bonus chapter. i think we need some more building for both of them. also full transparency elucien is one of my favorite ships of all time so i might be biased in that sense. but we’ve been waiting on them for EIGHT YEARS. now i’m grateful to not have been in the fandom that long bc i’m decently new and i’m already clawing at the walls so i cant even imagine y’all who have. but the buildup for elucien has just been SOOO many years in the making now. esp when books are coming out so slow?? i just don’t think i can stomach waiting another 4 years for them when they’ve already been mated since acomaf. like i genuinely think having to sit through ANOTHER painfully awkward solstice would make me end up on national news