#well my tumblr is basically just pic spams lmao

[rafasbiscuits]

have some thierev selfies(yes,cute pictures are my coping mechanism)

[shinwhoohoo]

hello lovely person, i come to your inbox seeking solace and the permission to rant about the eternally frustrating mess that is bana twitter. i'm so infuriated by delulu ot5 stans spamming a3 asking for reunion pics w j and b and demanding that they include those 2 in the official anniversary celebrations bc j&b ""deserve" it like??? where do they get their sense of entitlement from lmao i don't get it. and really, why should a3 bear the onus of asking them to join the celebrations when the other 2 have given no indication that they wish to do so in the first place like they literally left the group and no longer associate themselves with it (and no ig bios don't count people) what's not clicking?

it honestly makes me more pissed at the 2 who left (jy in particular) bc they refuse to make a clean break. wm also had a part to play in it ofc bc they didn't release an unequivocal statement about their departure from the group (altho they did say b1a4 will only be promoting as 3 going forward so idk how anyone misinterpret it) but what irks me is that jy never really acknowledged the fact that he left (at least baro wrote a nice letter thanking bana and a3). he keeps stringing his fans along by making empty promises about future reunions and!!!i hate that he won't change his ig bio or twitter header and whatever else it is that convinces people that "his heart lies w b1a4". i hate that he does all this but a3 still have to bear the brunt of the criticism from their fandom even tho they've been working their asses off to give us quality music (jinthoven who, producer cnu owns my heart now) and wholesome content (how precious was b1a4 arcade) to make up for their perceived sins against bana.

sorry this spiralled out of control, haven't used my tumblr in ages but i feel like migrating back bc bana twt is bad for my blood pressure. hope you have a nice day!

Two things real quick:

1. You always have permission to rant here to please do so whenever you feel like it~!! 😁 2. PLEASE COME BACK TO TUMBLR WE NEED YOU BACK IT’S SO MUCH NICER AS A BANA PLEASE 🙏

Ok now that that’s out of the way lol, wow 10/10, 💯, like god I really have nothing else to even add? Perfect rant, perfect points, all completely 100% factual points, that some people just don’t seem to like to address or acknowledge in their ‘OT5′ comments. But the thing is, all of this is true!!

What bothers me the most about the whole OT3/OT5 argument basically comes down to two points:

1. Those spewing OT5 Forever on their personal accounts is one thing. I’ve always said everyone is entitled to their own feelings about this, and I can respect we have our differences. However, going to A3′s accounts, to their VLive, and commenting and spamming posts about Baro and Jinyoung and ‘Oh, What does THIS MEAN that Jinyoung posted to the B1A4 VLIVE?? What DOES IT MEAN that Baro posted a pic holding a BANA CUP?!!? I MISS B1A4 AS FIVE’ and it’s like... let’s actually take a breath. Jinyoung’s incident was obviously a mistake, one that he hasn’t even addressed. Baro admittedly has liked a few B1A4 posts here and there, with this most recent insta upload the most ‘vocal’ he’s been regarding B1A4. But does it mean they are going to magically appear for the 10th anniversary? Not at all. There is absolutely no connection between these events. And to try and make such a connection is clearly going out of your way to try and create something that isn’t there because you want it to happen. Not because you are looking at the facts and the comments that the members who are actually, actively in B1A4 have made, but because you are overlooking what they have said, and what WM Ent has said, to fit your agenda. And to go and post these wishes and hopes on their official accounts, or even worse, Shindeulchan’s personal social media accounts, especially given how THEY expressed how they felt about the split, well damn. I think that’s cruel tbh. But yet we’re the nasty ones for not acknowledging bayoung...

2. ... which brings me to the other main point that irks me. Just because I am not currently an ‘OT5′ fanatic, again, given what we KNOW TO BE TRUE!!! (Basically most of which you’ve already listed-- WM’s statement of B1A4 continuing AS THREE, Sandeul and CNU’s comments and feelings they have made on guest show appearances, their fanmeet, the B1A4 Documentary+, etc., not to mention Baro’s statement, and even Jinyoung’s, which mentions about looking forward into the future if they should all come back again, in addition to the dead silence Jinyoung has been about bipo since then) but just because some of us aren’t ‘OT5′ given all that, DOESN’T MEAN WE’RE AGAINST BARO OR JINYOUNG!! like that pisses me off so much, this ‘divide’ that is being made... It’s like no, I just respect the feelings of the members who are actually here more so than wishing for something to happen that isn’t going to any time soon, like sorry that upsets you. And guess what, I still will always adore Baro and Jinyoung. I still wish the best for them. And if/when the time comes that they want to come back, and A3 accepts them back (because again, it’s up to THEM, not the ‘OT5′ fans!!) I will 100% be happy and grateful to see B1A4 as five. But until then, I will support Baro and Jinyoung in their solo efforts, and B1A4 as three, for all that they do and have done to make the transition from 5 to 3 easier for us.

lmao I love how I’m like ‘oh your ask was great I have nothing to say’ then go and write an essay. Well, I am nothing if not on brand with my word vomit.

Thanks for this anon, as you can tell it lit a fire under my ass lol. I don’t think I’ve been this vocal about it all in a while~

[autistic-reptile]

So, a couple years back I overheard my dad speaking to one of my teachers after I got wound up and had a meltdown (I apologise if this is the wrong term to use if I don't know if I'm autistic) and basically he mentioned something about it was believed the I'm possibly autistic when I was younger but never really mentioned why I never heard about this. Which kind of leads up to my next point which is that lately I've been interested in learning about autism and what it's like.... (1/?)

... And I'm not quite sure how to say this but it's like one of those times In reading something and it just feels "right" somehow. I feel like I can relate to a lot of this stuff but I'm worried that I'm just taking it to make sense of what a mess I can be emotionally because if anyone ever asked about it I would probably freeze on the spot and panic and not be able to explain because how can I explain when even I don't really understand why I feel this way about it. (2/?)

... And anyway, I think at least part of the reason why my dad never brought up the possibility of me being autistic is because he seems to think its an excuse. (Which it isnt) Like he outright stated that my mum (who's Bipolar (I know this is different to autism but it's relevant to what I'm trying to say)) is using it as a way to shove blame on anything other than herself for anything and then he went on to insist that I should just quit having meltdowns because "repeating the same.... (3/?)

... cares because all they all ever talk about is how I'm distracting other people and I know it's selfish of me because I'm only one person out of thirty off students but it just makes me feel even worse, especially when the stupid teachers seem to think the best way to get me to calm down is to compare me to a toddler and to encourage people to make fun of me and threaten to take pics as if that were the perfect way to calm me down (hey, spoiler alert, it's a sh*tty idea). (5/?)

... Anyway so before I go any further, I just want to say that I'm really sorry for spamming you out of the blue like this, I genuinely didn't intend to talk so much. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is I feel like my problems are minor compared to other people's and that I should be able to keep calm and carry on but I can't and I hate that because no one seems to realise that I find it just as maybe even more difficult to deal with as the person it's happening to than them (6/?)

.... who are reacting with the mistaken belief that I'm doing it for attention which is stupid because I'm literally sobbing and screaming at people to leave me alone and trying to shrink away from them but they insist on continuing to make fun of me and crowd around me. It doesn't help that I find it really hard to calm down during meltdowns and when they're going on I find it hard to say more than "leave me alone" anything more than that and I instinctively add "okay?" to the end. .. (7/?)

... Which just makes whoever is supposed to be "calming me down" mad and angrily insist that "it's not okay" and I really do want to tell them that it is not what I'm trying to say but I can't get the words out. And the annoying thing is, this is one of the only times when I can't speak properly, any other time I'm mostly fine with exception of around people i don't know well. So, yeah, what with my dad's apparent belief that neurodivergent people are just making excuses and my... (8/?)

.... Difficulty at understanding why I feel certain ways or how to put things into words, the chances of me ever being able to see a professional to ask about this is very slim. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about this. Anyways, I'm sorry for the depressing read and I hope you have an enjoyable rest of your year (and obviously after that of course). (9/9)

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hi!!! so I think tumblr ate part 4 of your ask lmao, but from how you’ve described your meltdowns here, it absolutely sound like an autistic meltdown to me. and it sounds like you’re going nonverbal/semi verbal during them as well since you said you have trouble speaking properly and have go-to phrases, both of which are really common in meltdowns.

as you already pointed out your dad is clearly wrong about it being fake or an excuse or whatever (why would we do this to ourselves??), and it sounds like any meltdowns you’ve had have only been exasperated by your teachers and peers (it’s seriously messed up that they encourage people to make fun of you so you’ll stop - that’s downright abuse). so of course it’s not going to be getting better!! I’m so sorry you’ve been having to deal with this kind of reaction from everyone in your life 💔

you should also know that having trouble putting your thoughts and feelings into words is a common autism thing, so it’s not surprising that you feel that way. I’ve also heard a ton of later-diagnosed autistic people say that they felt the same way when they started looking into autism - that it just felt right and like it explained everything. I felt the same way too so it’s really normal and definitely a good sign that you might be autistic.

ALSO, your problems and struggles aren’t minor if they don’t feel minor to you. you can logically know something usually isn’t a big deal for you, or that it wouldn’t be a big deal for other people, but if it’s still hard for you then that’s totally fine!!! i know it’s hard to accept sometimes but you can’t compare yourself to others to decide how easy or hard something should be for you. just focus on the reality of things and learn what you can and can’t handle so you can take better care of yourself ❤️