#what else is there to do on a saturday afternoon besides write a tumblr essay on an old barbie movie? have a life? no way!

[merp-blerp]

I know I'll sound kooky for saying this, but I suspect that Barbie & the Diamond Castle was queer-coded on purpose. I mean this so seriously. There were probably hundreds of people working on this movie. You're telling me none of them were queer? So many queer people have worked for Mattel. Maybe a person (or people) working on this film wanted to make a queer Barbie movie as a form of self-expression or what have you, but couldn't explicitly do so because it was 2008 and that would've been seen as inappropriate for a family film (still could be seen that way 🙄). So they got as close as they could with Diamond Castle.

Just the essence of this film is so sapphic. Alexa and Liana live alone together, away from whatever town might be nearby. They see nothing more important than their relationship with one another and Liana says that Alexa "knows me better than anyone else in the entire universe" (it's almost like no one else in this medieval world could know Liana that well, maybe because she's gay and the only person who could safely know that is Alexa) and "I feel like a part of me is gone" after they fight and she believes their relationship might be over.

They get what looks like male "love interests" on the surface, but they don't actually behave like couples. The girls butt-heads with them a lot as if it'll be an enemies-to-lovers type of romance like Annika and Aidan from Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus, but it never really becomes romantic. They don't even imply a happily ever after with the twins (whatever their names were, no one cares), they go back home together without them in their lives, at least not majorly. I think the fact that they don't have male love interests is the crux of this whole theory. The boys' existence is enough for kids and even adults watching to believe there's a straight romance in this film, especially if you've seen other Barbie films and know the formula, but there isn't. The movie just has male characters who take interest in the girls in a completely one-sided infatuation, heteronormativity does the rest when it comes to the audience thinking there's a romance with the boys.

Alexa and Liana's relationship is the most important aspect of the movie; the entire story is about their relationship, not their relationship with the boys at all, which separates Barbie & the Diamond Castle from other Barbie movies from this time, which all had hetero-romances in one way or another. This is probably why so many sapphic kids who grew up with it, like myself, loved it so much.

All these factors together just make me wonder if the queerness was intentional on someone's part.

Even if you bypass the queer interpretation, it's really refreshing to have a story that's about female friendship and that's it. No forced or unforced romance, just a story about girls and their friendship(s). There's no issue with romance, but also there's no issue with a lack of romance as well. That kind of message is hard to come by, even in more "adult" media.

(As a bit of a sidebar, the only queer aspect to this film that is surely coincidental to me is Alexa and Liana's dresses looking like the lesbian and bi pride flags. Liana's dresses do share a color scheme with the Emily Gwen lesbian flag, but that particular lesbian flag wasn't in existence till 2018, ten years after this movie was released. By association, I assume Alexa's dresses having the colors of the bi flag is also a coincidence, even though that flag was created in 1998 before this film. It is very cute how that turned out, though.)

[ideocosmonaut]

1. Is it just me or do people in all the face wash commercials seem to not wash their foreheads? its pretty weird I guess

2. What are all the different area codes in your contacts list? nice try

3. What artist do you have the most songs for in your iTunes/music library? death in june

4. Does your room have a certain theme to it? dirty

5. What languages do you speak? How hard would it be to learn them? english. not very.

6. What shows have you seen almost every episode to? so many

7. Do your friends do surveys too? no

8. Are you friends with the same people from middle school? not really

9. What are the last five songs you downloaded? probably something retrowave

10. Do you support sports teams from your state/town? no

11. Are you going to go to grad school? no

12. Have you ever kissed anyone that has a tattoo? no

13. What’s your blood type? dunno

14. Do people ever say your name wrong? How do they say it? not really

15. Which do you like better, biographies or autobiographies? autobiographies

16. What do you and your family do for fun? we dont

17. Have you ever had complications at the airport? nah

18. Do you think that your parents give you a lot of freedom? yeah

19. What was your last essay topic? hell if i know

20. How many kids are in your graduating class? 100 or so

21. Which do think is classier, black clothes or white clothes? black

22. Have you ever seen a ghost? Explain: no

23. What did you last yell about? stupid people

24. What is your main ringtone? retrowave

25. Do you like oatmeal? yes

26. How much sugar do you put in your coffee/tea? none if i can help it

27. Would you rather have a normal phone or one with a QWERTY keyboard? keyboard

28. Do you have secrets that no one knows? yes

29. Does the polish on your fingernails match the polish on your toes? n/a

30. Are any of your friends in a band? kind of

31. Is your family open to your views? not really

32. What is the worst food experience you’ve had? raw onion

33. Would you ever go to a taping of SNL? yeah

34. How many people have you kissed? none

35. How would you feel if your current boyfriend/girlfriend left you for someone else? If you don’t have one, imagine that you do: i imagine id be suicidal

1. Do you think it would be interesting to visit a zoo in every state, or would that become boring after a while because you would be seeing the same animals over & over? it’d get old for sure

2. When was the last time you entered a contest / raffle / something where you could win a prize? Have you ever won? probably some fast food thing for a playstation. never.

3. How long does it take before your hand becomes tired from writing a note / essay / whatever? a few minutes

4. Is there something you make & eat so often that you know the exact time & temperature necessary to cook it? yes

5. Do you call it a strainer or a colander? strainer

6. If you had to endure 4 hours of listening to music by one of the artists /bands, which would be hardest to endure? What about easiest? hardest would be... probably chiptune or something annoying and grating. easiest would be slow meadow

7. Have you ever noticed that sweat smells similar to onions? yes

8. What is the dirtiest room / area in your house? bedroom

9. When you input your first name plus the word ‘is’ into the Google search, what is the first thing that comes up in the drop down? ___ is my hero

10. Do you care about celebrities birthdays? If yes, do you do anything to celebrate? not really

11. What is the most common word you use for potatoes [potato, spud, tater, etc.]? potato

12. Have you ever collapsed from sadness & just laid wherever you were & cried until you couldn’t cry anymore? yes

13. Do you feel claustrophobic in tight spaces? depends on if i can move or not

14. What do you think is the scariest thing about the world? its so easy to end up alone. you have no insurance for that.

15. What would you do if someone broke into your house at this very moment? Would you be prepared at all for something like that? i got something for them

16. If I said ‘zitch dog’, would you have any idea what I was talking about? no

17. Have you ever made a traditional snowman, with hat, carrot-nose, coal eyes & all? no 

18. Where is the ticklest part of your body? ribs

19. Is there something specific you do every day at the same time? sleep i guess

20. Did you ever think a thesaurus was a type of dinosaur? no

21. If you ever became famous, would you be willing to let the public view your Tumblr? no

22. Do you know anyone that keeps making the same mistakes over & over again? yes

23. Have you ever stood behind a podium? If yes, for what purpose? yeah to give a speech/presentation

24. When you clip your nails, where do you usually do it? Indoors, over a garbage can, outside? wherever

25. If you could go anywhere for a meal right now, free of cost, where would you go? village inn if the ride was also free

Do you drink liquor straight? sometimes

Done anything you regret? yes

Do you brush your teeth as soon as you wake up? no

What are you wearing? pajamas

This past summer, did you have a “thing” with anyone? no

What are your feelings for your ex-boyfriend? dont have one

Do you think it’s stupid to have more than one best friend? nah

Have you ever been so embarrassed that you cried? yes

Are you a slut? no?

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? no

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? yes

Are you cocky? no

Do you wear your shoes in the house? yes 

Is anyone on your bad side now? not really

Do you sleep with socks on? sometimes

Do you watch college sports? no

Would you dye your hair? maybe

Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them, or talk to them? yes and no

Does it bother you when someone lies to you? of course

Do you know anyone whose name starts with a Z? not personally

Do you know a guy named David? yes

Has anyone ever told you you were beautiful? not exactly

What color is your bathroom? white

Do you play sims? not really

How many people have told you they were in love with you? none

Is any part of you sad at all? always

Do you have unlimited texting? no

Last February, were you single? yes

When will your next kiss be? never

Have you chewed gum after someone else already has? no

Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization? not really

Last thing you ate? summer sausage

Do you currently have a hickey? no

Did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl? no

Are you multi tasking right now? no

Do you believe in karma? only bad karma. when you do bad things. good deeds go unrewarded.

Tell me where you will be Saturday afternoon?? next saturday, probably doing laundry

How do you feel?? sad and tired

Be honest; name of the last person to text you?? verizon

Are you easily scared by horror movies? a little

Are you mad at your significant other? n/a

What was the last thing you drank?? vanilla coke zero

Is it easy for you to accept loss?? no 

I bet you miss somebody right now?? yes

Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? ? always

What was the last thing you got grounded for? ? i dont remember

Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months? no

What time is it? ? 1:20am

You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? japan

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? ? yes

Do you have another window open? If so, what are they? facebook

Have you cried today at all? just did

Do you wear eyeliner?? no

When was the last time you ate Taco Bell and with whom?? months ago and alone

Do you pick your words carefully, or just tend to blurt everything out?? half and half

Are you nice to everyone?? i try to be

Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without?? yes

Do you think things will change in the next 3 months?? probably not, barring some disaster

How important is the truth in a relationship?? very

Are you wearing a ring?? no

What color are your eyes?? gray

Do you like to cook/bake?? sometimes

How long have you lived in the house you live in?? 9 years

Have your friends ever stopped by your house just to say hi?? rarely

Do you like Chinese food?? yes

Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?? sadder

Which is harder: walking away from somebody you love or coming back?? walking away

Do you have one of those formspring accounts? no

Are you waiting on an important call? ? no

Have you gone to the beach yet this summer?? nope

Did you recently hang out with someone you haven’t hung out with in a long time? no

Have you done any shopping for something in specific recently? ? yes

Are you the type of person that likes to wear a different dress to every formal event you go to, or will you just wear the same dress every time (if you don’t wear dresses, use whatever type of formal outfit you wear)?? i wear whatever

When was the last time you sat there and realized you were truly satisfied with your life at that exact moment?? never

Do you still live in your hometown? ? yes

Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? yes

Do you hate to hug people? ? no

Is it easy to make you cry? ? if you know me

If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, how long have you guys been together? ? n/a

Have you ever slept on a couch with someone? yes

Are you short?? yes

How many pregnant people do you know? two

Do you know anyone whose birthday is tomorrow? ? 2018

What was the last thing you found that you thought you lost forever? ? i wish i could say a reason to live

Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop for the New Year’s? no

If you have a Twitter, do you use something else besides the computer to update your tweets? no

The last time you said ‘I love you’ to someone, who said it first, them or you? ? i did

When was the last time you uploaded pictures from your camera? i dont have a camera

What was the reason behind the last time you stayed up all night? ? insomnia

Have you ever had a UFO sighting or a sighting of strange lights in the sky? no

Who was the last person you caught lying to you? ? dont know

How old were you when you were first pulled over by the police? ? 20?

Was there ever a time that you lived on an island? ? no

Have you ever made a time capsule? ? i think so

When was the last time you drank out of a champagne glass? couple years ago